Conversations in Love

By | Jul 20, 2017 | Views: 357
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(By Tsem Rinpoche and Pastor Han Nee)

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part“
~ Traditional Marriage Vow

In life, our actions and pursuits have always been aimed at finding happiness. Hence, when we embark on a permanent relationship like marriage, our goal is also towards finding happiness with another person. As we recite the marriage vows at our wedding, we fervently pray and place implicit faith and trust in a divinity to take care of our happiness and well-being. We envision a life of bliss together until the end of our days, growing old gracefully together, as we sail into our sunset years. Poets, bards, and singers have made this the topic of their work for time immemorial:

“Grow Old Along With Me
The Best Is Yet To Be
When Our Time Has Come
We Will Be As One”
~ John Lennon

Following our habituated way of thinking, the source of whatever happiness we seek from marriage appears to be the picture of an ideal partner. In fact, even as we embark on a long-term relationship with our partners, we already have expectations and projections on our partner. We expect to be happy when our partner conforms to our own set of norms, way of thinking, and expectations. In order to correct this mistaken view, we need to look deeply into ourselves and see that happiness does not come from holding mistaken projections and expectations. In fact, when these expectations and projections are unfulfilled, they are likely to cause us disappointment, pain, and anguish instead.

The ways to love and cherish your partner is to ensure their happiness and well-being are enshrined in the six marriage vows formulated by His Eminence the 25th Tsem Rinpoche, a renowned Buddhist teacher, whose books such as “Be Happy” and “Why I Make Myself Unhappy” show us how he skillfully applies Buddhist psychology to guide us towards real happiness. His six vows revolve around the most profound and unerring principle of how to be happy: be happy by making others (including our partner) happy and relieving them of their unhappiness.

After countless sessions of counseling couples on relationship issues by applying Buddhist psychology based on ancient wisdom and his profound insights into modern day psychological problems, Tsem Rinpoche noticed a recurring pattern in unsuccessful relationships. Taking this pattern, he formulated the following six vows:

  1. To be faithful
  2. To support each other through thick and thin
  3. To improve one’s weak points for each other
  4. Respect each other (including our beliefs)
  5. Share our wealth with each other, and
  6. Defend each other
Conversations in Love by Buddhist Pastor David Lai is a book aimed at teaching you how to live a fulfilling and loving relationship

Conversations in Love by Buddhist Pastor David Lai is a book aimed at teaching you how to live a fulfilling and loving relationship

Pastor David Lai, author of “Conversations in Love”, calls these six vows the Holy Grail of relationships and marriages. Taking and holding these vows involve both partners and requires a complete transformation in mind-sets and outlook. Instead of being fixated on yourselves and your own needs and wants, as you have been habituated to do in the past, you expand from the viewpoint of self-cherishing to cherishing your partner out of pure love for them. All of your best efforts should be invested in keeping these vows well and consistently. Your happiness is one hundred percent dependent on holding these vows.

“Conversations in Love” is a book consisting of six sets of conversations revolving around the above six marriage vows. Each chapter has an introduction that elucidates the advice given by Tsem Rinpoche on how to hold the particular vow in order to maintain a lasting relationship. What I find interesting is that each conversation, that follows the introduction and commentary by the author, discusses the vow from the different perspective of each one of the four speakers, as well as the problems and challenges involved, based on their individual observations and experience. The conversations are lively and scintillating. The most moving part of the book for me is in Chapter 6 – Love Beyond Beliefs.

 

Love Means Respecting the Beliefs of Each Other

The story of Tsem Rinpoche’s Uncle Naran and Aunt Hani and their extraordinary love for each other that transcended the bounds of religion and culture must surely make this the most moving part of the book.

The introduction states that a partnership must have the basis of mutual respect for each other. The respect must extend to embracing respect for your partner’s religious and cultural beliefs as well as the value systems that your partner holds, which governs their way of doing business, their ethics at work, the way to raise children, clean the house, drive the car and even do the shopping.

Tsem Rinpoche gives the beautiful example of the relationship of his Uncle Naran, a Buddhist, who married a Christian, Aunt Hani. Aunt Hani was a staunch Catholic and had unwavering devotion for the Pope. Uncle Naran, on the other hand, was a staunch Buddhist and was incredibly devoted to the Dalai Lama. However, the love between his uncle and aunt transcended their religious beliefs. They would go to each other’s church or temple for prayer services from time to time. They had their own simple altars by their bedside – one an altar to Lord Buddha and the other to Mother Mary. Their daughters embraced their beliefs by wearing a Buddha image, a crucifix and a pendant of Mother Mary, without any sense of confusion. Rinpoche’s aunt once told him: “I love my husband and I love everything about him and I go along with everything he says… I respect my husband and my husband respects me”. The daughters were made to feel that they had half of their father and half of their mother. So they were neither Buddhist nor Catholic. Rinpoche’s uncle was a “wonderful Buddhist, a good father, a good husband and a good person” and his aunt was a “wonderful Christian and person too.”

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Respect for each other led them to look for the common ground and the similarities such as compassion, understanding, love, generosity and patience. They were better people because they practised the core principles of religion, never criticising nor finding fault with each other’s faith or value systems.
Respecting our partner’s beliefs goes beyond religion. It also means we let our partner do things their way, or the way they are used to. Indeed, if you truly love your partner you would let them do what they really want to do. A person’s interests is what keeps them going. You should not tie them to you and insist that they spend all their time with you. This is not true love but selfish love. It shows that you love yourself and that you don’t actually love your partner. You are making use of them to fan your love for yourself.

In a conversation within the book, Brandon advises Foong, “If you truly love (your girlfriend), you must let her pursue what she loves. She loves to do charity on the weekends. You should join her from time to time and encourage her to do what she wants to do. Don’t think that it will take the time away from the time she has to spend with you. After all, she is doing something good and you have a whole lifetime to spend together anyway”.

If you build up a good daily relationship of genuine love and care for your partner, based on honesty and respect, trust will naturally develop in their minds. You will live in harmony, confident of each other’s love and support, with mutual trust and understanding underlying your relationship. The moment you stop them from doing what they had always loved to do before you married, conflict will arise. This is a sure recipe for arguments and disharmony in your marriage.

From the Conversation – The case of a recent divorcee, whose marriage fell apart because she had been caged in and controlled by a selfish and demanding husband.

Brandon: “She just got divorced and is quite emotional. She is still upset and is spending sleepless nights over it.

He (her husband ) apparently controlled her and didn’t like the fact that she is very passionate about a charity that she used to help out. She gave it up just to be with him. But after a year, her marriage fell apart.

She had enough and decided to divorce him because he started becoming more and more aggressive with her and she didn’t know what to do…He has been controlling her ever since they got married. He has been controlling and wouldn’t allow her to go out and volunteer at her favourite charity”.

Brandon: “Her husband made her quit her job when they got married”.

Stella: “It’s really sad. If only her husband would respect her and allow her to do what she wanted.”

Respect for each other must be built on a strong basis of sincere love and care. If there is no genuine love and care and there is no trust, honesty and respect, the marriage will surely crumble.

Below are other important and profound aspects of the six marriage vows that this book explains and discusses.

 

Love Is Being Faithful to Each Other All the Way

In the section on the vow of fidelity, Tsem Rinpoche gives a very profound and far-reaching piece of advice regarding how two partners in a marriage can remain faithful to each other:

“Every day of your lives together, from the very first day of your marriage, remind yourself of the qualities of your partner that caused you to fall in love with them.”

“The most important thing about getting married is the need to remain faithful to each other. We have chosen this person for ourselves, no one forced us to be with this person”.

I find that constantly reminding ourselves of the reasons why we fell in love is a most powerful piece of advice. If everyone were to follow this piece of advice with great love and compassion than surely any marriage would be able to survive even the worst crisis.

When we have checked a person out and seen for ourselves that they possess the qualities we like and that these are suitable or compatible qualities for our own, we should constantly remind ourselves of these qualities that made us fall in love with them in the first place. In fact, we should do this daily. The need to do this is especially crucial in times when difficulties arise. This constant reminder will help us weather the worst storms of life.

The price of being unfaithful is too high. Infidelity can break and shatter the partner’s heart. If there are children, it will affect their minds and influence their lives in the future. Children are young, vulnerable, and insecure emotionally. Hence, infidelity breeds worry and mistrust in a child’s mind. The crack in the precious circle of love of a family is hard to repair. This crack gets worse if the parent’s infidelity continues and the mistrust deepens. Eventually, as the marriage breaks apart, the entire family is torn apart, not just physically but emotionally as well.

Cheating on a partner in any way is disastrous for any marriage. Emotional cheating is a dangerous game, as the characters portray in one of the conversations in the book. It’s playing with fire, risking everything for a few moments of excitement of for the purpose of advancing in one’s career.

“There’s a fine line where flirting stops being harmless and borders on dangerous. Once emotions get into the mix, you get a recipe for disaster”.

 

Divorce and Dissolution of Partnerships Are Happening as Never Before

One reason given (in a conversation) for marriages of yesteryear lasting longer is that the elders did not accept divorce as an option.

“People (of yesteryear) are conservative and they hide their marital problems. After so many years they just live together although everything else is falling apart… They’d rather stay ‘nominally’ married than risk being scorned as a divorcee. So they stay unhappily married.”

Another speaker, Stella, notes that a few older friends have admitted that “they don’t have feelings for their spouses anymore but would rather stay married than start all over again.”

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Relationships Must Be Strenuously Maintained: the Daunting Prospect of a Marriage Especially When You Have a Career

There is no true marital bliss after a few years because the gritty reality of marriage sets in.

Stella: “But that’s what all human relationships are like if they are not maintained. Marriage is not a bed of roses like in the movies and it gets worse when you feel like you have to put up with this person for the rest of your married life. [That’s why (my partner) and I are not rushing into it. I’d rather focus on my career for the time being]”.

 

The Guy You Marry Transforms into an Overgrown Mama’s Boys

Brandon: “Boys are always nice when you are dating them. But when you marry them, they transform into overgrown mama’s boys. You suddenly have to take care of cooking, housework, kids, your career, if you have one, and you’re expected to perform at night…”!

 

How Does One Deal with the Problem of an Overgrown Mama’s boy?

One speaker, Stella, recounted her firm and skilful way of handling this. When she agreed to “iron her partner’s clothes”, she made it clear that she was helping him out initially. If he had continued to expect it, she would have pointed out that she wasn’t his maid and they “would have probably ended up arguing some more”. Fortunately, in this case, her partner was reasonable and did not insist that she continued doing it!

 

Love Partnerships Can Degenerate into Differences, Arguments and Conflict When Boredom Sets In

Brandon’s observation: For two people who have decided to begin a relationship, “everything will be fine for a few years, but your problems will start to crop up after that. You guys will be bored with each other. It will manifest in differences, arguments and conflict, you know, the kind of troubles that happen in all relationships”.

“I don’t think you guys are that bad but men (as well as some women)can change (degenerate)especially after they’ve been in the same relationship for a few years…They get too comfortable…familiarity breeds contempt”.

 

How Can We Ensure Partnerships Do Not Degenerate?

Changing your outlook and attitude from the start, and strenuously maintaining the relationship is keep to stop relationships from degenerating. Our attitude and outlook have to change. Instead of focusing on ourselves, we should focus outward towards our partner. We should also work hard at maintaining the relationship.

Another person in your life means you have to be always mindful about their happiness and well-being too. Whatever decisions or choices we make will have to be talked out with our partners as they will be affected. This is in sharp contrast to our making choices and decisions just for ourselves before we embarked on this relationship. So we need to take responsibility and adopt a whole new attitude and outlook in order to develop a truly loving relationship with our partners.

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Loyalty and faithfulness are necessary ingredients of a successful and enduring marriage and long-term romantic relationships. They are qualities that must be nurtured in each other. They are an expression of our sincere love for each other, and both partners must strenuously work at upholding the vow of fidelity in the face of the formidable challenges that confront them.

We should also work hard at maintaining the relationship by supporting, protecting and defending our partner through thick and thin. We need to put a great deal of effort into improving on our weak points for the sake of each other. We should respect each other and hold up each other’s image in the eyes of our family, our friends and the world.

 

Love is about Supporting, Defending and Protecting Your Partner All The Way

Never tire of consoling your partner or spouse. Never let them feel abandoned when they are mired in problems or difficulties. Never let them feel alone with their problems, nor leave them feeling unsupported when they are facing difficulties. Be the first to step up to be there for them, to help them face their difficulties. Listen to them, hear them out and support them. Just be there for them, even if it means just smiling, holding their hands or making a pot of tea for them, and giving them moral support.

Brandon narrates the story of his aunt who had been very supportive of her husband.

“My aunty is very loyal to her husband. Years ago, when there was a family dispute between my uncle (and her family), my aunty sided with my uncle. Her whole family wasn’t happy with her for a while because of it… it was probably over something petty. They are one of the most loving couples I know. Everybody respects her for that: they had a really loving relationship, the kind you see in the movies.”

Stella comments on Albert (the current partner of one of the guys in a conversation) who is nasty and spoilt, who throws tantrums all the time, and sulks.

“Albert wouldn’t make a good long term partner. When you have problems, he doesn’t exactly seem the type that would be there for you. He is too caught up in his own world. It’s really sad because that’s a lonely place up there”.

 

Love Is a Shield – I Will Defend You

We should defend our partners and spouses in order to protect them. We should never go around complaining and saying unpleasant things about our partners to other people. Our partners are not there to defend themselves and we are actually putting ourselves down as well as our partners in the eyes of others. Whether the other party listening to us agree with us or not, it is not right to air our dirty linen in public.

Our partners may have faults which sometimes rear their ugly heads. But overall, they are wonderful people to be around. It is when they are down, that we should support them and not put them down, or talk about them and make them feel worse. Let them know you are there for them whenever they might need you. In this way, you show your loyalty to your partner.

Whenever you talk about them, you should be talking about their good qualities to others, and how they are your pillar and source of support. One of the worst things to do is to complain and whine to friends about your partner.

In the book, one conversation is about the case of a female acquaintance who has been whining and complaining about her failed relationship with her boyfriend. She kept on and on about the things that he did and said, and what went wrong, (but from her own selfish point of view).

The speakers agree that it was in poor taste for her to air her dirty linen in public like that. Whatever problems in a relationship should be not be aired in public, but should be talked over with one’s partner.

Stella: “Girls tend to nit-pick at their guys thinking to get them to be someone they’re not.”

Never nit-pick at your partner, however good your intentions. It will really have a negative impact on the relationship and set it back. Instead, you can skilfully help your partner correct the fault without putting them down. The following is an example of how this can be done.

Stella: “There’s a fine line between good intention and nit-picking. When I first met Steve, I used to complain about his crumpled clothes he wore on weekends and he resented it. We argued a lot and I finally decided it was too small an issue to constantly argue over. So I changed my method. I would compliment him and be extra loving when his clothes were ironed and eventually, he reciprocated by taking some time over his appearance”.

 

Love Is about Transforming Yourself to Be the Best Person for Your Partner

Marriage gives both partners a wonderful opportunity to be the best person for each other. However, we ourselves should transform first. In actual fact, we ourselves should first change and transform our negative habituations to accommodate the other – work on transforming ourselves and not expect the other to change. Never attempt to change your partner. Never set conditions for your partner to improve first before you. Rather be the example of change, and your partner is sure to follow suit.

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Accept Your Partners as They Are – Never Try to Change Them

Stella: “Sometimes, you don’t find Mr Perfect. You find the regular guy with all his flaws. You make do, and you don’t try to change him or dump him or force him to be someone he’s not. You inspire him to change with love, sensitivity and a lot of patience”.

“Some girls tend to nit-pick at their guys and try to get them to be someone they’re not. My partner hates that about me and I learned to control my tongue real quick”.

 

I Will Improve My Weak Points for You

You should feel inspired to want to improve yourself because your partner has actually chosen you to be the one he or she will live with for the rest of their life. To live with you means to sleep, eat, and travel with you and to see your face every single day!

Instead of being nice to the rest of the world, and being nasty to your partner, you should be the kindest person of all to your partner. Remember, your partner will be the one to stick by you through thick and thin. Be the best you can be with your partner.

 

Never Let a Conflict – Differences or Arguments – Go Unresolved Overnight

Never use your speech or bodily actions to hurt your partner in any way. Never let a conflict or problem go unresolved and sleep on it. It gets worse the next day. People actually grow apart when they start to have differences and arguments. Then they stop talking to each other. All this can come about because you have wrong expectations and projections about your partner.

Your expectations and projections are based on your own upbringing. Always be mindful that you and your partner come from different backgrounds and upbringing. So you have been taught to do things in different ways because of your different upbringing. Respect for each other’s ideas and ways of doing things is important.

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If we begin on our part to improve on our faults and weaknesses, to become the best person for our partner, they will eventually reciprocate. If we adopt this attitude of continually seeking to improve ourselves for the other, our marriage/partnership will be a happy one, wouldn’t it? When we nurture each other in this way, our relationship will surely grow from strength to strength. Always be kind and respectful of each other.

In the book, there is a conversation in which Stella recounts how her partner reciprocated when she displayed a transformation from a negative attitude to a positive one.

Stella: “When I first met Steve, I used to complain about his crumpled clothes he wore on weekends and he resented it. We argued a lot and I finally decided it was too small an issue to constantly argue over. So I changed my method. I would compliment him and be extra loving when his clothes were ironed and eventually, he reciprocated by taking some time over his appearance.”

 

Entering a Commitment to Safeguard the Sanctity of a Relationship

When two people make the decision to marry and live with each other for the rest of their lives, they would have thought about it before finally making the decision. Their decision would be propelled by a truly deep and abiding love for each other. Hence, the very reason why two people decide to get married must always be upheld by their reminding themselves about it every day of their lives together. In general, marriage vows seal the sacredness of a relationship and the lifelong commitment of the partners to each other.

 

Love is about Sharing Whatever We Have with Our Partner

Sharing should be on a genuine “giving as much as we take” basis. We should neither take advantage of our partner nor adopt a selfish “give me” attitude. We should share in the truest sense whatever we have. This will strengthen the likelihood of the relationship being successful in the long term.
Whatever promises you have made to your partner, whether when you first met or later, you must keep your promises. Keeping your promise will bring to the relationship a sense of reliability that will engender you partner’s confidence in you. They will grow a deeper respect for you. A marriage must have a basis of mutual respect. This will foster greater respect and your children will trust you more, and in turn, you lead them to respect others in a similar way.

If you are genuinely unable to keep your promises to each other, you must sit down and talk with your partner, looking them in the eye. With sincerity, honesty, and from the depths of your heart, explain why you cannot fulfil your promise to your partner. Then ask your partner to help you fulfil that promise. Seek their support in whatever way they can give it. This is to prevent the marriage and the communication between the two of you from breaking down. This is to prevent the two of you from engaging in years of fighting, which will culminate in the two of you growing so far apart that you don’t even talk to each other anymore.

Here’s what it says in a conversation from the book:

Brandon: “You should share what you have with your partner. She would appreciate little gifts of love and appreciation from time to time, don’t you think”?

Brandon: “Most important of all is that you should be faithful and never forget to let her know what you are doing or where you are going especially when you are not in town. It’s very comforting and reassuring for them to be in the know. It also helps to send little sweet nothings now and again. Make sure you do it even if you’ve been in a relationship for over ten years.”

 

Why “Conversations in Love” Is a Must Read

This is a must-read book for anyone involved in or embarking on a long-term relationship. The book examines all the facets of such relationships, showing the possible faults and flaws in the make-up of people’s character and certain negative habituations and tendencies that may lead to a relationship breaking up. By holding these flaws and faults up to the light for us to see them clearly, the book points us to the six marriage vows once again. It highlights the fact that these vows unerringly guide partners in their relationship to ensure that they are happy and successful. Marriage and long term relationships will definitely succeed so long as these six vows are upheld.

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Indeed, as “Conversations in Love” is all about how to apply the six vows to guide us towards a successful relationship, it is a manual that helps us steer our marriage or long term relationship on a steady course on a day-to-day basis. It teaches us to be mindful that our partner is an individual with a different set of beliefs and value system, as well as different upbringing, who has actually chosen to live with us for the rest of their lives. It reminds us and warns us of the possible pitfalls and traps which we are likely to encounter on this journey with our partner, how to avoid them, and not to succumb to them.

The message is loud and clear. Both partners hold in their hands, the success or failure of their relationship. It’s a conscious choice for or against happiness, every step of the way, so long as no selfish distractions divert either of you.

 

Where to Buy

You can purchase a copy of Conversations in Love at any of our Kechara Paradise outlets or Vajrasecrets, our online store, both of which stock a large range of other books and Buddhist practice items.

Kechara Paradise – Bentong
84, Jalan Ah Peng,
28700 Bentong, Pahang.
Tel: +609 222 3880

Kechara Paradise – SunwayMas
23-1, Jln PJU 1/3G,
Sunwaymas Commercial Centre,
47301 Petaling Jaya, Selangor
Tel: +603 7803 3546

Vajrasecrets
https://www.vajrasecrets.com/conversations-in-love

 
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Pastor Lim Han Nee

About Pastor Lim Han Nee

A teacher for 30 years, it is no surprise that Pastor Lim Han Nee's life long passion was reading philosophical books to quench her thirst for knowledge. Upon meeting her Spiritual Guide H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche, she was amazed by the brilliance of the Dharma, and began to immerse herself in Buddhist Philosophy through countless of hours listening and studying the Dharma.
Pastor Lim Han Nee

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7 Responses to Conversations in Love

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  1. Anne Ong on Aug 18, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    I believe that in a relationship or partnership, there should be trust, respect,patience,supportive,compromising,honesty,sincerity and hero worship each other. Both partners must be open to each other with good communication for a better understanding. Otherwise it would be very difficult to survive. Both must be responsible in the relationship to improve things. Thank you very much Pastor Han Nee to share this wonderful article about love with everyone.

  2. Samfoonheei on Aug 9, 2017 at 11:15 am

    Marriage is a gift and plan for creation that men and women should live together. it provides a relationship through which husband and wife support each other as the relationship is built on love and faithfulness.Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.Being faithful makes our relationship and marriage last. Faithfulness is an important value in a marriage. After all, we pledged our vows of faithfulness and commitment ‘until death do us part’To me always give and take in both side makes a wonderful relationship.I am glad to hold on my vows for 33 years.
    Conversations in Love is a good and useful book for anyone wanting to embark on a long-term relationship.
    Thank you Pastor Lim Han Nee for sharing these beautiful post.

  3. Wan Wai Meng on Jul 25, 2017 at 12:12 am

    The human condition, requires most of of us 99% to be in one form of a relationship with one another, not necessarily a romantic one. So it really pays if one is good at maintaining relationships with one another.

    I remember reading other Buddhist literature that Buddha spoke about how one can be a successful house holder. The Buddha in actuality thought of everything, even teachings that benefit not only monastics but also lay people. Buddha’s teaching encompasses teaching us how to be good humans and maintain good relationships with all the people around.

    I remember a friend saying that relationships are very leceh I couldn’t agree more than that.

  4. freon on Jul 20, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    This is a very good review on the book “Conversation in Love” many of the mistake we have make when come to love. We actually do not know how to love someone properly. Many of us, wanted the person for the rest of our life is because of the feeling we have on that time. But, feelings can be fade. What is lasting in a relationship can’t just depends on feelings. How to love, how to maintain the relationship is something challenging in these days. As one of the media said, a relationship that can last for 10 years is consider a legend. Thus, we see many divorce cases going on. And, we will ask, why get married if this does not last long.

    This book, is an important books that alert us to be mindful in treating our partner. Never take for granted on the relationship. One of it I like very much is Improve for our love. In a relationship, I always think that I wanted to change the person to my preferences, but, I forget that is me the one need to improve ourself for our partner. Not to say suit them but to change and improve our self . I tried that, it works. From arguments I learn to see the reasons that causes the arguments and thus improve on it. When my partner looks at my improvement, this bring positive thought to him and he started to improved himself to. We grow together at last.

    Thank you Pastor Han Nee for this good review.

  5. Pastor David Lai on Jul 20, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Ahh… Conversations in Love. It was an interesting project in which I expanded on rinpoche’s teachings by creating 4 characters and having them interact with each other. Naturally, the characters were purely fictional and I kinda enjoyed creating little plots and relationship issue.

    Naturally, much of what I covered were based on the central theme of each point in rinpoche’s teachings. I found they were excellent themes to ‘flesh out’ relationship problems and issues. I thought they were pretty neat and realistic dialogue between adults, meaningful, and pretty entertaining. I hope more people would enjoy and glean something meaningful that will help them in their personal relationships.

  6. Sarah on Jul 20, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    Every couple planning to get married should read the six marriage vows composed by H.E. Tsem Rinpoche and practise them to ensure a lasting, happy relationship. The vows are based on basic Buddhist values of love, respect and cherishing others. With these wonderful precepts, you will be all right.

  7. Stella Cheang on Jul 20, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    Oh love, oh love, what a tricky topic. Love is something everyone desires and hardly satisfied with. It is no wonder many people seek advice from those who had succeeded in a relationship. While every relationship is unique because it makes up of two uniquely different individuals, but I tend to agree there are some common “rules” that can apply across all couples. In fact, I find that MOST of the same tips can be applied to the relationship between parents and children, siblings, housemates and also close friends.
    
For example, “support each other through thick and thin” or “defend each other”; this is most important in any relationship. Is it not appalling to find out that your partner / parents / siblings / housemates / closed friends change their opinion of you according to the tiding, and wouldn’t leave a finger to fend for your good name? I have seen wives rolled their eyes and make snide comments (no matter how endearing they think it might sound) whenever they mentioned about their husband. To an impartial 3rd party, I can’t help but feel that there is something wrong with the husband.

    Relationship is constant hard work. We need to be prepared to live the part of what we expect of the other person. We cannot expect our partner / parents / siblings / housemates / close-friends to be that warm, supportive, respectful and loyal person when we are selfish, cold hard, uncaring, sour face and always look down on them. Thank you very much, Pastor Han Nee, for this review. It is a good reminder for us to relook at how we are treating others to get the desired relationship we are looking for.

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SCHEDULED CHAT SESSIONS / 中文聊天室时间表

THURSDAY
10 - 11PM (GMT +8)
5 - 6AM (PST)
星期五
9 - 10PM (GMT +8)
4 - 5AM (PST)
(除了每个月的第一个星期五)
SATURDAY
11AM - 12PM (GMT +8)
FRIDAY 7 - 8PM (PST)
SUNDAY
9:30 - 10PM (GMT +8)
4:30 - 5AM (PST)

UPCOMING TOPICS FOR SEPTEMBER / 九月份讨论主题

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KECHARA FOREST RETREAT PROGRESS UPDATES

Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.

Noticeboard

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  • Stella Cheang
    Sunday, Sep 24. 2017 12:50 PM
    Many human beings, including ourselves, are selfish and only care for ourselves. Especially when it comes to situations that are challenging or pose a threat to our comfort zone. In situations like this, something/someone will have to make way, the one with the least priority is in the inevitable receiving end, most of the time. In this case, the poor pets took the blunt. In some other cases, it could be the ailing parents/old folks/someone.

    It is our selfish mind that causes the selfish act and results in harm, pain and suffering on others. When we learn and practice Dharma, we can follow Guru’s teaching to help us tame this selfishness by always thinking for others, put ourselves in the shoes of others. In this way, no way will be left behind, ever.

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for this sharing.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/dont-leave-them-behind.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, Sep 24. 2017 08:01 AM
    Walter Evans-Wentz was an American anthropologist and writer who was a pioneer in the study of Tibetan Buddhism,He has since introduction and translated a number of Tibetan Buddhism to the Western world. Evans-Wentz is best known for four texts translated from the Tibetan, Amazingly he travelled across India and Sri Lanka covering important religious sites to study the history, customs and religious traditions of the country, and also collected a large number of important Pali manuscripts. It was then later donated to Stanford University. He has even worked as a translator with Alexandra David-Néel and so forth producing ,forewording a few interesting books before his passing.
    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor David Lai for sharing these interesting article which i do enjoyed reading.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/walter-evans-wentz-american-pioneer-scholar-on-tibetan-buddhism.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, Sep 24. 2017 08:00 AM
    Very interesting article……gave me a clear defination and understanding of God and religion.I agree with Bishop John Spong….if we all have qualities of love, compassion. caring ,tolerance, generosity, kindness and a sense of empathy to benefits others, God or Buddha will be within us. I can understand much better of the insight.
    I admired Bishop John Spong for his courage to speak up and explained to others about what he thought .Do hope more people will open their minds and judge for themselves the truth of it based on logic thinking and teachings. I am glad ,i am on the right path.
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these interesting post.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/bishop-john-spong-on-religion-and-god-very-interesting.html#
  • Stella Cheang
    Saturday, Sep 23. 2017 10:58 PM
    Rabindranath Tagore is an extraordinary individual. He expounds humanity through the many arts, literature, drama, songs, education and etc. I believe it is his sensitive and sentimental nature that gives rise to his many creative writings and artwork. However, he is also determined in his approach, as we can see how he ensures that his drama get executed to the dot, and this approach in politics.

    Rabindranath Tagore is well respected around the world. It can be seen by him being a Nobel award winner, and having monument, bust, street names and marking of him in Moscow, Prague London, Berlin and the birth place of Shakespeare. He is the only non-European who is without contemperory when it comes to art and culture during that era.

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for this sharing.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/rabindranath-tagore-a-beacon-for-humanity.html
  • Stella Cheang
    Saturday, Sep 23. 2017 06:47 PM
    To me, the single largest contradiction found in many religions and their implementation (by men) is the way how one’s action and the consequences are governed and judged by a someone. This someone has the power to grant love, good fortune, take away all the sins and also punish anyone who has committed bad deeds; all in ONE lifetime.

    It presents a huge unanswerable question, especially for people who met with huge misfortune, and for people who suffered from birth, who are born poor, born sick or handicapped, etc. Are they the abandoned and forgotten children and thus have to go through this single ONE lifetime with great pain and anguish?

    It is, thereby, easier to reconcile the disparity in life when we understand the Law of Cause and Effect. When we do a particular action, we should expect a certain result. Even though we cannot determine the time frame of which the outcome will arrive, we can rest assured that it will. As the Law of Cause and Effect works in parallel with reincarnation, we can expect the result to continue or take place in the next life, or thereon.

    Therefore, we can explain the disparity of birth. And in a big way, Law of Cause and Effect encourages everyone to take responsibility for their own action, because no one, not even the special someone, can remove our sins for us. The only person who can right our wrong and is ourselves.

    Law of Cause and Effect and Reincarnation are essential teachings in Buddhism, which attracted me to this religion, as they provide me with good, solid answers to many of my questions about life.

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for this sharing.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/bishop-john-spong-on-religion-and-god-very-interesting.html
  • Lin Mun
    Saturday, Sep 23. 2017 05:06 PM
    Wow Rinpoche is really talented and creative to be able to draw in 10 minutes time. Besides nice drawing, I like the caption in it. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/tsem-rinpoche-draws-cartoons.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Friday, Sep 22. 2017 12:25 PM
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing with us.Rinpoche always advice us to go on pilgrimage to Holy places with concentrated powerful energy to collect merits. plant dharma seeds and be blessed The best pilgrimage place is where our Guru is and we can transform our mind following his advices and instructions sincerely. That is Kechara Forest Retreat which is near us in Malaysia.
    Beautiful memes in different languages to share with us.Thank you Rinpoche for sharing .From these memes and the photo taken more than 30 years ago tell us a thousand word how much love and Guru devotion Kyabje Zong Rinpoche to Rinpoche. Rinpoche’s faith, respect and trust in Kyabje Zong Rinpoche wll never change.
    Non matter what happen we should not abandon our Guru. Go all the way to learn ,practice Dharma from our Guru Rinpoche is an inspiration for us .
    Thanks again with folded hands

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/short-sharing-about-kyabje-zong-rinpoche.html
  • Alice Tay
    Thursday, Sep 21. 2017 10:16 PM
    Dorje Shugden practice is discouraged since the 5th Dalai Lama until recent decades HH the 14TH Dalai Lama. Nevertheless, this practice is common, support and continues to spread far and wide in many countries including Tibet, India, China as well as the Western. Herewith the 2 interesting articles that support Mr Glenn H. Mullin’s view on the attempt to discourage Dorje Shugden practice is not very successful instead it become famous and well known by everyone.

    1. 10 Holy Dorje Shugden Statues around the World:
    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/dorje-shugden/10-holy-dorje-shugden-statues-in-the-world.html
    Build Buddha statue with the bigger size bring much beneficial to all sentient beings.
    The largest Dorje Shugden statue, 24 feet tall, commissioned by H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche and currently housed in Kechara Forest Retreat, Bentong, Pahang. In mid 2015, the statue was consecrated by Dorje Shugden in trace through the famed Panglung Oracle.

    2. They were not wrong
    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/dorje-shugden/they-were-not-wrong.html
    Many great teachers, masters, yogis, geshes, mahasiddhas, lineage holders of various schools of Buddhism (especially Sakya lineage) that practiced or was affiliated closely to Dorje Shugden. Some of the senior monks who have been practicing Dorje Shugden for over 70 years and have no intention of giving up their practice of this protector. Besides, many great masters eg HH Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche, HH Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche, HH Kyabje Zong Rinpoche, H.E. Gangchen Rinpoche and many others would also have thousands of students (both lay and ordained) in Tibet and all over the world rely on Dorje Shugden.

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this interesting writings by Mr Glenn H. Mullin.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/glenn-mullin-on-tulku-drakpa-gyeltsen.html
  • Stella Cheang
    Thursday, Sep 21. 2017 11:24 AM
    It is mind-boggling to read the extraction starting from page 208 of the book by Mr. Glenn Mullin. There are a few points from here that arouse my curiosity to read the book in full.

    One of it is why the Nyingmapa shamans failed to exorcise and pacify the spirit of Tulku Drakpa Gyeltsen, but the Gelugpa shaman monks succeeded in pacifying and transforming him (his spirit) into Dorje Shugden.

    Another noteworthy point would be that Dorje Shugden practice caught on and became widely practiced by many monasteries, DESPITE the discouragement by the 5th Dalai Lama. This is very telling of the position of Dalai Lama as a spiritual leader.

    Based on Mr. Glen Mullin’s research, the popularity of Dorje Shugden’s practice grew over time, in particular during late 1800 when four Dalai Lamas died young. I find it highly unusual to link this uncommonly short lifespan of Dalai Lamas to the growing popularity of Dorje Shugden’s practice. Bearing in mind that even aristocratic families developed the strong faith in DS practice during this period.

    As we gain glimpses into the feud between Tulku Drakpa Gyeltsen / Dorje Shugden and the Dalai Lamas, it becomes apparent that the validity, effectiveness, and propitiation of a Protector’s practice does not depend on Dalai Lama’s endorsement.

    Dorje Shugden’s practice is prevalent among both monasteries as well as laities, particularly the aristocratic families. From here, we can deduce that Dorje Shugden’s practice, is efficient and works in both spiritual and secular terms. Otherwise, why would monasteries and aristocratic families propitiate the practice?

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for this insightful sharing.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/glenn-mullin-on-tulku-drakpa-gyeltsen.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Sep 21. 2017 06:56 AM
    First time coming across this Ganapati deity, we are fortunate and able to practice in our daily lives. All because of Rinpoche we got the apportunity to practice it.
    Well said beautiful daily prayer to Ganapati, which I intend to print it out.
    In life as we goes along the path, there are many obstacles and challenges we got to go through but when we are in Dharma we will somehow manage with it. It’s a wonderful to learn these beneficial and powerful Ganapati practice with our Guru blessing .
    Thank you Rinpoche for compiling these beautiful and powerful prayers for us especially for those who need help to overcome obstacles with authorities and so forth.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/a-short-practice-to-overcome-obstacles-for-work-with-officialdom.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Sep 21. 2017 06:55 AM
    I do have regrets over the times but ever since I let go all ,I felt much lighter, happier,
    been able to concentrate on things which will benefit others. Learned from mistakes, experience and regrets , to move on to the next chapter in life. .I keep reminding myself not to repeat and never regrets for what the actions or things done ,trying to improve and learn something new along the path. I always like to read beautiful and meaningful quotes to remind myself. Since joining Kechara,I have learned more knowledge ,understands better in life and to thank our Guru for what I have learned and still learning (Life’s true gift lies in your freedom to design it beautifully. With each rise of the sun, you get to chase the opportunity to fill your days with meaning—to live your life the way you choose)…quoted
    Thank you Dauk May for sharing these beautiful teachings with us.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/guest-contributors/regrets.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Sep 21. 2017 06:53 AM
    Its heart breaking after looking through those pictures of pets ,poorly managed by their owners or maybe they thought it will be safe or left them to die in the terrible powerful hurricanes. The pet dogs were left helpless and the owner just saves themselves not realising or forgotten about their pets. Dogs been chained ,kept in their cage or left alone helpless unattended.
    I am glad many people voiced up these issues as pets are human too, pets deserved much better treatment, care ,love and hugs. The owner should have think of a better way instead leaving their pet dogs to suffer. At least free them gave them a chance or put in a higher ground. Leaving them behind in bad times is bad enough then in the first place should not taken the pets in.
    It’s a wonderful news that the authorities concerned are doing more to help those suffering dogs and taking stern actions against those irresponsible owner.

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these post and had it shared with my friends

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/dont-leave-them-behind.html
  • Alice Tay
    Thursday, Sep 21. 2017 01:50 AM
    Rejoice!
    This is wonderful to see the team, who has followed Rinpoche’s advice very well to work out and organized the weekly Bigfoot Flea Market in Bentong, Pahang. Now, it has blossomed into a Bigfoot store at its own shop lot building. Furthermore, its Facebook has been created and updated the latest posts at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bigfoot%E3%81%AEstorage-%E9%87%8E%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AE%E5%82%A8%E5%AD%98%E5%B1%8B/129014147685241?ref=br_rs

    This is one of the creative ideas and skillful means from Rinpoche in spreading the dharma to many others. Now, another interesting and it was my first time to see these Bigfoot cookies. These cookies are rewarded to the customers in return for their loyalty.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/kechara-13-depts/bigfoot-cookies-and-kechara.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Sep 20. 2017 03:20 PM
    Dorje Shugden is a powerful Protector ,hence no matters what type of art piece of Dorje Shugden is he will always remind as our Protector. With these beautiful fauvistic bold distortion of form and the use of strong, pure color made look more divine and powerful. .When we has faith and trust on Dorje shugden miracles do happen,will protects us at all times day and night from danger and harm, grants our wishes , helps us develop our skills, wisdom and great compassion. Also removes all our obstacles to succeed in life.
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this beautiful form of Dorje Sguden with us. I do love this form. May more and more people get to know of Dorje Shugden practice and the benefits of it. The short prayer to Dorje Shugden composed by Rinpoche is meaningful , powerful and easy to understand.
    Thanks again with folded hands

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/downloads/fauvistic-dorje-shugden.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Sep 20. 2017 03:19 PM
    Having Bigfoot cookies for all people at the flea market is a wonderful idea and a way to attract more people to the flea market . From there they get to know more about Kechara Forest Retreat as well..I have been to flea market before i could see alot of interesting items on sales.
    Big foot indeed has attracted more people closer to Dharma too .Most of the Bentong folks know about Bigfoot and Kechara related.
    The Bigfoot cookies looks cute and i am sure it tastes yummy . The Tsem Ladrang staff did a wonderful job baking such a delicious cookies. I do hope can get to taste it in my next trip to Bentong.
    Thank You Rinpoche for having the idea of setting the Bigfoot Flea Market and now have cookies too. Rinpoche will always use ways to bring Dharma close to everyone

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/kechara-13-depts/bigfoot-cookies-and-kechara-%E9%87%8E%E4%BA%BA%EF%BC%8C%E5%B0%8F%E7%94%9C%E9%A5%BC%E5%92%8C%E5%85%8B%E5%88%87%E6%8B%89.html

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Messages from Rinpoche

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CREDITS

Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Justin Ripley, Pastor Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Writer: Pastor Loh Seng Piow
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

What Am I Writing Now

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The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
Ms Gerbrick was a very special person in my childhood. When I finally found her again, I had lost her - http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=144296
yesterday
Ms Gerbrick was a very special person in my childhood. When I finally found her again, I had lost her - http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=144296
I just did another one. See how it\'s done-
 http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=144259
2 days ago
I just did another one. See how it's done- http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=144259
I like this sketch I just did. Tsem Rinpoche
2 days ago
I like this sketch I just did. Tsem Rinpoche
One of my sketches just finished. Tsem Rinpoche
2 days ago
One of my sketches just finished. Tsem Rinpoche
More of my drawings.  Tsem Rinpoche
2 days ago
More of my drawings. Tsem Rinpoche
See what Linus has to say to Charlie Brown: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/category/dorje-shugden
3 days ago
Plse click on this and read and share. Important thoughts regarding our teacher. Tsem Rinpoche
7 days ago
Plse click on this and read and share. Important thoughts regarding our teacher. Tsem Rinpoche
The stupa dedicated to the great Changkya Rolpai Dorje in 5 peaks of Manjushri - China. Changkya Rolpai Dorje was one of the previous life of His Holiness Pabongka Rinpoche. In that life, he was the imperial tutor to the Emperor of China.  Photo from Karen Chong
7 days ago
The stupa dedicated to the great Changkya Rolpai Dorje in 5 peaks of Manjushri - China. Changkya Rolpai Dorje was one of the previous life of His Holiness Pabongka Rinpoche. In that life, he was the imperial tutor to the Emperor of China. Photo from Karen Chong
Please click on this picture and see what the adorable boy is doing.
1 week ago
Please click on this picture and see what the adorable boy is doing.
Learn a new word and see what Fauvism means here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=143633
1 week ago
Learn a new word and see what Fauvism means here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=143633
Please click on this picture to enlarge and read. It is important and share with others. Thank you. Tsem Rinpoche
1 week ago
Please click on this picture to enlarge and read. It is important and share with others. Thank you. Tsem Rinpoche
The handprint of His Holiness Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche Jetsun Dechen Nyingpo
2 weeks ago
The handprint of His Holiness Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche Jetsun Dechen Nyingpo
Dear friends, For the first time in art history you will see a Tibetan divinity in Byzantine art form. Just published! Please be amazed and see the whole artwork here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=143348
2 weeks ago
Dear friends, For the first time in art history you will see a Tibetan divinity in Byzantine art form. Just published! Please be amazed and see the whole artwork here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=143348
我这里有一副最庄严印度风格法力强大护法的画作。点击这里观赏与下载: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=142950
2 weeks ago
我这里有一副最庄严印度风格法力强大护法的画作。点击这里观赏与下载: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=142950
A separate Tibetan state? 

Should this group of Tibetans have their own autonomous state?
In a world full of trials and tribulations, this group of Tibetans continues to defy all odds against a difficult leadership. Should they have their own state, their own country to live free and in harmony? Read and decide-Part 1: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=142741 and Part 2: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=142868
2 weeks ago
A separate Tibetan state? Should this group of Tibetans have their own autonomous state? In a world full of trials and tribulations, this group of Tibetans continues to defy all odds against a difficult leadership. Should they have their own state, their own country to live free and in harmony? Read and decide-Part 1: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=142741 and Part 2: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=142868
When I first arrived in Gaden Monastery in January 1988, I lived in this small room: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=100092
2 weeks ago
When I first arrived in Gaden Monastery in January 1988, I lived in this small room: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=100092
This is Mahakala of the Tent (Gonpo Kur) and this particular sacred and very alive image is in Sakya temple in Tibet. It is so beautiful, ferocious and at the same time frightening. He frightens our self absorbed ego into submission to dharma.-Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
This is Mahakala of the Tent (Gonpo Kur) and this particular sacred and very alive image is in Sakya temple in Tibet. It is so beautiful, ferocious and at the same time frightening. He frightens our self absorbed ego into submission to dharma.-Tsem Rinpoche
Please find out more who is Shamgo Dorje Putri and her two sisters. They wear a particularly distinctive single large flower in their hair and very powerful. This promises to be a very interesting read: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=94304
2 weeks ago
Please find out more who is Shamgo Dorje Putri and her two sisters. They wear a particularly distinctive single large flower in their hair and very powerful. This promises to be a very interesting read: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=94304
He was known by one of his names which was Guru Deva Rinpoche and I had the blessings to meet him quite a few times. He was guru of both my mother and father. Guru Deva Rinpoche was a high Mongolian lama and lived over 100 years old. He was one of the kindest persons I have ever met and he was very well known to be an emanation of Gyenze. He joked alot and was extremely devoted to his teacher. We had many private conversations with him and he made an indelible mark in my mind and in my heart. I think of him often. Tsem Rinpoche
4 weeks ago
He was known by one of his names which was Guru Deva Rinpoche and I had the blessings to meet him quite a few times. He was guru of both my mother and father. Guru Deva Rinpoche was a high Mongolian lama and lived over 100 years old. He was one of the kindest persons I have ever met and he was very well known to be an emanation of Gyenze. He joked alot and was extremely devoted to his teacher. We had many private conversations with him and he made an indelible mark in my mind and in my heart. I think of him often. Tsem Rinpoche
I pity men who occupy themselves exclusively with the transitory in things and lose themselves in the study of what is perishable, since we are here for this very end- that we may make the perishable imperishable, which we can do only after we have learned how to approach both.~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

(This quote is very powerful from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. He seems to be a powerful thinker and can think beyond daily and ordinary thoughts. Like I shared, only the study of dharma is going to lead to the imperishable. Any other studies of this world only are temporarily beneficial which is perishable. Of course he is not referring to dharma, but he realized ordinary pursuits leads to perishability. If he knew dharma, he would see the vastness of Buddha\'s omniscience.  Tsem Rinpoche)
1 month ago
I pity men who occupy themselves exclusively with the transitory in things and lose themselves in the study of what is perishable, since we are here for this very end- that we may make the perishable imperishable, which we can do only after we have learned how to approach both.~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (This quote is very powerful from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. He seems to be a powerful thinker and can think beyond daily and ordinary thoughts. Like I shared, only the study of dharma is going to lead to the imperishable. Any other studies of this world only are temporarily beneficial which is perishable. Of course he is not referring to dharma, but he realized ordinary pursuits leads to perishability. If he knew dharma, he would see the vastness of Buddha's omniscience. Tsem Rinpoche)
One of the nicest Taras I\'ve seen. I like her shade of green and the lotus on the left which is lower as her hand is lower so it\'s very balanced looking. Her face looks young, motherly, kind and yet regal.
1 month ago
One of the nicest Taras I've seen. I like her shade of green and the lotus on the left which is lower as her hand is lower so it's very balanced looking. Her face looks young, motherly, kind and yet regal.
(1st photo) Kyabje Lati Rinpoche in the centre and Ven Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende on the extreme right. After the unfair ban against Dorje Shugden practitioners was forcibly instituted by Tibetan leadership onto the people and monasteries, the monasteries split. Over 600 monks from Gaden Shartse Monastery left and set up Shar Gaden Monastery. The Tibetan leadership did their best to get the authorities to close Shar Gaden Monastery but Shar Gaden had registered so there was nothing Tibetan leadership can do. It was very sad. Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende left Gaden Shartse Monastery to be the abbot of the newly formed Shar Gaden Monastery in South India where they can continue Dorje Shugden practice. Prior to the ban Lati Rinpoche and Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende can meet up, share and be close as they all had been very close. After the ban this was not allowed anymore. Dorje Shugden and non-Dorje Shugden people had to be segregated. They cannot mix. The previous prime minister of the Tibetan exiled government said that Dorje Shugden people and non Dorje Shugden people are like the mustache and the mouth and it has to be separated. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
(1st photo) Kyabje Lati Rinpoche in the centre and Ven Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende on the extreme right. After the unfair ban against Dorje Shugden practitioners was forcibly instituted by Tibetan leadership onto the people and monasteries, the monasteries split. Over 600 monks from Gaden Shartse Monastery left and set up Shar Gaden Monastery. The Tibetan leadership did their best to get the authorities to close Shar Gaden Monastery but Shar Gaden had registered so there was nothing Tibetan leadership can do. It was very sad. Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende left Gaden Shartse Monastery to be the abbot of the newly formed Shar Gaden Monastery in South India where they can continue Dorje Shugden practice. Prior to the ban Lati Rinpoche and Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende can meet up, share and be close as they all had been very close. After the ban this was not allowed anymore. Dorje Shugden and non-Dorje Shugden people had to be segregated. They cannot mix. The previous prime minister of the Tibetan exiled government said that Dorje Shugden people and non Dorje Shugden people are like the mustache and the mouth and it has to be separated. Tsem Rinpoche
You can see in this 2nd photo, Kyabje Lati Rinpoche blessing a child and Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende standing next to the child. The monasteries were happy, united and had good samaya with each other prior to the ban. The ban destroyed everything and unity and harmony. It is very sad to see this. These pictures are from Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende\'s collection. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
You can see in this 2nd photo, Kyabje Lati Rinpoche blessing a child and Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende standing next to the child. The monasteries were happy, united and had good samaya with each other prior to the ban. The ban destroyed everything and unity and harmony. It is very sad to see this. These pictures are from Kensur Rinpoche Lobsang Phende's collection. Tsem Rinpoche
His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche on the throne, His Eminence Lati Rinpoche (next to Zong Rinpoche) and below Lati Rinpoche is Kyabje Zemey Rinpoche (sitting below Lati Rinpoche). This is a puja in Gaden Shartse Monastery. A rare and blessed photo and nice to save. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche on the throne, His Eminence Lati Rinpoche (next to Zong Rinpoche) and below Lati Rinpoche is Kyabje Zemey Rinpoche (sitting below Lati Rinpoche). This is a puja in Gaden Shartse Monastery. A rare and blessed photo and nice to save. Tsem Rinpoche
ou can save this rare thangka of 1,000 armed Heruka. I\'ve never seen this thangka or any of this form before and it\'s the first time. You can print out or keep or use. I found this online and it\'s beautiful. Kyabje Zong Rinpoche mentioned this Heruka 30 years ago to us and since then I have never seen this in painting or statue at all till now. He has many legs and many faces too. Very special and unique. Seeing Heruka or thinking of Heruka plants the seeds of enlightenment in our mindstream. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
ou can save this rare thangka of 1,000 armed Heruka. I've never seen this thangka or any of this form before and it's the first time. You can print out or keep or use. I found this online and it's beautiful. Kyabje Zong Rinpoche mentioned this Heruka 30 years ago to us and since then I have never seen this in painting or statue at all till now. He has many legs and many faces too. Very special and unique. Seeing Heruka or thinking of Heruka plants the seeds of enlightenment in our mindstream. Tsem Rinpoche
This is Venerable Lhakpa Tsering from Tibet. He has passed away a few years back of natural causes and as he was older. He was one of the high ranking and official oracle of Dorje Shugden, Namka Barzin, Kache Marpo and several other high protectors. He was famous in Tibet for his correct trance of Dorje Shugden and extremely powerful clairvoyance advice of Dorje Shguden. He has been taking trance since Tibet. In 1959 he left Tibet for India and settled in Kalimpong. He continued to take trance in Kalimpong of Dorje Shugden for government officials, local persons, high lamas, monasteries, nuns, monks and even foreigners. For over 40 years his wonderful oracular ability to take trance and give advice and prophecies has benefited so many people. He was trained and blessed as an oracle by the previous Dromo Geshe Rinpoche of Sera Jey Monastery. I\'ve had a chance to stay at his house, meet him and see him in trance. It was a great blessing and amazing experience. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
This is Venerable Lhakpa Tsering from Tibet. He has passed away a few years back of natural causes and as he was older. He was one of the high ranking and official oracle of Dorje Shugden, Namka Barzin, Kache Marpo and several other high protectors. He was famous in Tibet for his correct trance of Dorje Shugden and extremely powerful clairvoyance advice of Dorje Shguden. He has been taking trance since Tibet. In 1959 he left Tibet for India and settled in Kalimpong. He continued to take trance in Kalimpong of Dorje Shugden for government officials, local persons, high lamas, monasteries, nuns, monks and even foreigners. For over 40 years his wonderful oracular ability to take trance and give advice and prophecies has benefited so many people. He was trained and blessed as an oracle by the previous Dromo Geshe Rinpoche of Sera Jey Monastery. I've had a chance to stay at his house, meet him and see him in trance. It was a great blessing and amazing experience. Tsem Rinpoche
Why seek anything else when you have the illustrious practice of Vajra Yogini from the lineage of the Crazy Wisdom Mahasiddha Naropa? Nothing in samsara created by ordinary men can surpass the practice of Vajra Yogini elucidated to us by the Buddha. Nothing in samsara’s knowledge no matter how incredible can surpass the knowledge embodied in the dharma by the Buddha. Samsara knowledge is limited. When we study Buddha’s knowledge (Dharma) it guarantees our future with no limitations. Spend more time studying dharma than samsaric knowledge. Why even compare? Surrender samsara as death and loss are it’s only results and engage in Dharma practice all the way. Vajra Yogini is dharma and dharma is Vajra Yogini. Give everything for Vajra Yogini’s practice. Start now as a preliminary practice even without initiation (blog article: Starting on Vajra Yogini Now- http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=4395). Humbly, Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
Why seek anything else when you have the illustrious practice of Vajra Yogini from the lineage of the Crazy Wisdom Mahasiddha Naropa? Nothing in samsara created by ordinary men can surpass the practice of Vajra Yogini elucidated to us by the Buddha. Nothing in samsara’s knowledge no matter how incredible can surpass the knowledge embodied in the dharma by the Buddha. Samsara knowledge is limited. When we study Buddha’s knowledge (Dharma) it guarantees our future with no limitations. Spend more time studying dharma than samsaric knowledge. Why even compare? Surrender samsara as death and loss are it’s only results and engage in Dharma practice all the way. Vajra Yogini is dharma and dharma is Vajra Yogini. Give everything for Vajra Yogini’s practice. Start now as a preliminary practice even without initiation (blog article: Starting on Vajra Yogini Now- http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=4395). Humbly, Tsem Rinpoche
The young Tsem Rinpoche with his cousin Sada Andreyev. She visited him in Los Angeles. Taken in Tsem Rinpoche\'s room in Thubten Dhargye Ling Dharma centre.
2 months ago
The young Tsem Rinpoche with his cousin Sada Andreyev. She visited him in Los Angeles. Taken in Tsem Rinpoche's room in Thubten Dhargye Ling Dharma centre.
Young Tsem Rinpoche with his cousin Sonia Waskin. She visited him in Los Angeles, California.
2 months ago
Young Tsem Rinpoche with his cousin Sonia Waskin. She visited him in Los Angeles, California.
Pictures of the teenage Tsem Rinpoche with his two cousins Sonia and Sada. Taken outside of Thubten Dhargye Ling Buddhist Centre where Tsem Rinpoche was living. Los Angeles, California, USA
2 months ago
Pictures of the teenage Tsem Rinpoche with his two cousins Sonia and Sada. Taken outside of Thubten Dhargye Ling Buddhist Centre where Tsem Rinpoche was living. Los Angeles, California, USA
Pictures of the teenage Tsem Rinpoche with his two cousins Sonia and Sada. Los Angeles, California, USA
2 months ago
Pictures of the teenage Tsem Rinpoche with his two cousins Sonia and Sada. Los Angeles, California, USA
The young Tsem Rinpoche with his parents Boris and Dana Bugayeff. And on the extreme right is Tsem Rinpoche\'s cousin Toktun Gugajew. This was in Howell, New Jersey, USA
2 months ago
The young Tsem Rinpoche with his parents Boris and Dana Bugayeff. And on the extreme right is Tsem Rinpoche's cousin Toktun Gugajew. This was in Howell, New Jersey, USA
Tsem Rinpoche attending the wedding of Carmen Kichikov\'s brother. Tsem Rinpoche is 2nd from the right and in his adolescence. Howell, New Jersey, USA
2 months ago
Tsem Rinpoche attending the wedding of Carmen Kichikov's brother. Tsem Rinpoche is 2nd from the right and in his adolescence. Howell, New Jersey, USA
When my adorable Dharma boy came home to me. I love you Dharma boy. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
When my adorable Dharma boy came home to me. I love you Dharma boy. Tsem Rinpoche
Tsem Rinpoche in Taiwan as a baby where he was born
2 months ago
Tsem Rinpoche in Taiwan as a baby where he was born
Tsem Rinpoche as a baby holding an umbrella
2 months ago
Tsem Rinpoche as a baby holding an umbrella
Think about this...
2 months ago
Think about this...
Our frustrations have meaning when it\'s for others and a greater cause.
2 months ago
Our frustrations have meaning when it's for others and a greater cause.
It is much better to be doing good things for others than just for ourselves.
2 months ago
It is much better to be doing good things for others than just for ourselves.
Contemplate this please...
2 months ago
Contemplate this please...
Is there life beyond the grave? If the soul exists, does it survive death? If so, when did the belief first arise that the soul may reincarnate, to be born anew in another physical body? Before we unlock the future we must find the keys to the past. I’m Leonard Nimoy. Join me and open the door to ancient mysteries beginning now, here on A&E. Continue reading here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=37831
2 months ago
Is there life beyond the grave? If the soul exists, does it survive death? If so, when did the belief first arise that the soul may reincarnate, to be born anew in another physical body? Before we unlock the future we must find the keys to the past. I’m Leonard Nimoy. Join me and open the door to ancient mysteries beginning now, here on A&E. Continue reading here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=37831
It was a great honour for myself and Kechara to have His Eminence Kensur Rinpoche Jetsun Lobsang Phende visiting us. He is a courageous and extremely brave abbot emeritus of the monastery during it\'s most difficult time.~Tsem Rinpoche - Please read more here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=132602
2 months ago
It was a great honour for myself and Kechara to have His Eminence Kensur Rinpoche Jetsun Lobsang Phende visiting us. He is a courageous and extremely brave abbot emeritus of the monastery during it's most difficult time.~Tsem Rinpoche - Please read more here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=132602
This is a powerful picture of Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen, Kensur Kyabje Lati Rinpoche and the current incarnation of Trijang Rinpoche meeting together in the year 2000 when Trijang Rinpoche was 18. All three lamas are Dorje Shugden practitioners. In fact Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen was the one that first encouraged my practice of Dorje Shugden when I was 16 years old when I joined his beautiful Thubten Dhargye Ling centre in Los Angeles. I lived with Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen for 8 years before proceeding to Gaden Monastery in South India. Later Kyabje Zong Rinpoche came to our Los Angeles centre and granted sogtae (permission ceremony) to practice Dorje Shugden for life as requested by Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen. Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen had tremendous faith in Trijang Rinpoche. 

Kyabje Lati Rinpoche was innovative, dedicated and very much focused on bringing dharma to many. He had tremendous faith in Dorje Shugden as I had the honour to meet him many times. He would seek advice from Dorje Shugden many times via the oracle of Gaden Monastery. Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen and Kensur Kyabje Lati Rinpoche have since passed away while the current Trijang Rinpoche is a perfect lineage holder and practitioner of Dharma while he keeps Dorje Shugden as his personal protector as he has done so for many lifetimes. 

This is a powerful and beautiful picture of three great lamas of Buddha’s lineage and also of Gaden Monastery. ~Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
This is a powerful picture of Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen, Kensur Kyabje Lati Rinpoche and the current incarnation of Trijang Rinpoche meeting together in the year 2000 when Trijang Rinpoche was 18. All three lamas are Dorje Shugden practitioners. In fact Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen was the one that first encouraged my practice of Dorje Shugden when I was 16 years old when I joined his beautiful Thubten Dhargye Ling centre in Los Angeles. I lived with Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen for 8 years before proceeding to Gaden Monastery in South India. Later Kyabje Zong Rinpoche came to our Los Angeles centre and granted sogtae (permission ceremony) to practice Dorje Shugden for life as requested by Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen. Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen had tremendous faith in Trijang Rinpoche. Kyabje Lati Rinpoche was innovative, dedicated and very much focused on bringing dharma to many. He had tremendous faith in Dorje Shugden as I had the honour to meet him many times. He would seek advice from Dorje Shugden many times via the oracle of Gaden Monastery. Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen and Kensur Kyabje Lati Rinpoche have since passed away while the current Trijang Rinpoche is a perfect lineage holder and practitioner of Dharma while he keeps Dorje Shugden as his personal protector as he has done so for many lifetimes. This is a powerful and beautiful picture of three great lamas of Buddha’s lineage and also of Gaden Monastery. ~Tsem Rinpoche
A beautiful photograph of a path walking down from Manjushri Hill in Kechara Forest Retreat in Malaysia.
2 months ago
A beautiful photograph of a path walking down from Manjushri Hill in Kechara Forest Retreat in Malaysia.
This picture is of KB lovingly holding Mumu while he tries to stand up. I was in the room with them and someone else took this picture. It is a very sad and poignant picture because just a short while after this picture was taken, Mumu passed away with all of us present. This was the last picture of my little Mumu alive. We immediately did puja for Mumu and he is sorely missed by many as he touched our lives deeply. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
This picture is of KB lovingly holding Mumu while he tries to stand up. I was in the room with them and someone else took this picture. It is a very sad and poignant picture because just a short while after this picture was taken, Mumu passed away with all of us present. This was the last picture of my little Mumu alive. We immediately did puja for Mumu and he is sorely missed by many as he touched our lives deeply. Tsem Rinpoche
For years I have been doing this everywhere I go, no matter where or what country I am in. Always be kind to animals.
2 months ago
For years I have been doing this everywhere I go, no matter where or what country I am in. Always be kind to animals.
Practising makes you better at something. If you keep practising in laziness, that is what you will become good in. If you keep practising generosity, that is what you will develop. Keep practising in what you want to become good at.
2 months ago
Practising makes you better at something. If you keep practising in laziness, that is what you will become good in. If you keep practising generosity, that is what you will develop. Keep practising in what you want to become good at.
Real spirituality is kindness.
2 months ago
Real spirituality is kindness.
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CHAT PICTURES

Nice Jelly Cakes sponsored by KSDS student's parent, Alice Wong and friend, Datin Nicol. Alice Tay, KSDS
16 hours ago
Nice Jelly Cakes sponsored by KSDS student's parent, Alice Wong and friend, Datin Nicol. Alice Tay, KSDS
All the volunteer are ready & waited for the guests arrival. Alice Tay, KSDS
16 hours ago
All the volunteer are ready & waited for the guests arrival. Alice Tay, KSDS
Photographer team of the event. Alice Tay, KSDS
16 hours ago
Photographer team of the event. Alice Tay, KSDS
Nice photo with Teacher Kien, Teacher Ray, Teacher Grace & Teacher Alice. Alice Tay, KSDS
16 hours ago
Nice photo with Teacher Kien, Teacher Ray, Teacher Grace & Teacher Alice. Alice Tay, KSDS
Give courage to the younger KSDS students before the performance. Alice Tay, KSDS
16 hours ago
Give courage to the younger KSDS students before the performance. Alice Tay, KSDS
KSDS talented Emcee team~Young,energetic and loving-kindness. Alice Tay, KSDS
16 hours ago
KSDS talented Emcee team~Young,energetic and loving-kindness. Alice Tay, KSDS
Group photo of all Kechara Sunday Dharma School volunteers after a successful Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
21 hours ago
Group photo of all Kechara Sunday Dharma School volunteers after a successful Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
Louise, one of the volunteers, helped an elderly board the bus at the end of Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
21 hours ago
Louise, one of the volunteers, helped an elderly board the bus at the end of Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
Young children enjoying their meal at the Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
21 hours ago
Young children enjoying their meal at the Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
Happy young children from Kechara Sunday Dharma School performed at Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
21 hours ago
Happy young children from Kechara Sunday Dharma School performed at Mid Autumn Festival Charity Event. Stella Cheang
Group performance by Kechara Sunday Dharma School students during the Mid Autumn Charity Event. Stella Cheang
21 hours ago
Group performance by Kechara Sunday Dharma School students during the Mid Autumn Charity Event. Stella Cheang
KSDS students spent almost a day to set up the decoration & various arrangement for the Mid Autumn charity dinner. Lin Mun KSDS
yesterday
KSDS students spent almost a day to set up the decoration & various arrangement for the Mid Autumn charity dinner. Lin Mun KSDS
The senior citizens enjoyed themselves during the Mid Autumn dinner in Kechara Oasis. Lin Mun KSDS
yesterday
The senior citizens enjoyed themselves during the Mid Autumn dinner in Kechara Oasis. Lin Mun KSDS
Teacher Jayce and Asyley setting up the slides show for the Mid Autumn event. Lin Mun KSDS
yesterday
Teacher Jayce and Asyley setting up the slides show for the Mid Autumn event. Lin Mun KSDS
Snacks prepared by Kechara Oasis. Thank you Guat Hee for your cares. Lin Mun KSDS
yesterday
Snacks prepared by Kechara Oasis. Thank you Guat Hee for your cares. Lin Mun KSDS
Benjamin and Ivan helping to set the stage for the Mid Autumn Festival event in Kechara Oasis. Lin Mun KSDS
yesterday
Benjamin and Ivan helping to set the stage for the Mid Autumn Festival event in Kechara Oasis. Lin Mun KSDS
The design team is busy decorating the stage for the KSDS Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner. Lin Mun KSDS
yesterday
The design team is busy decorating the stage for the KSDS Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner. Lin Mun KSDS
Beautiful jelly cake prepared by Alice Wong and Datin Nicol Chu for the Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner. Lin Mun KSDS
yesterday
Beautiful jelly cake prepared by Alice Wong and Datin Nicol Chu for the Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner. Lin Mun KSDS
2 days ago
Thank you Kechara Oasis and Kechara Blooms for supporting KSDS Mid autumn celebration 2017 - From KSDS Jayce Goh
2 days ago
Thank you Kechara Oasis and Kechara Blooms for supporting KSDS Mid autumn celebration 2017 - From KSDS Jayce Goh
2 days ago
2 days ago
Briefing and assign the task for outcoming event #charity #wedding #birthday #celebration #dinner #lunch #team #service ~ Guat Hee
3 days ago
Briefing and assign the task for outcoming event #charity #wedding #birthday #celebration #dinner #lunch #team #service ~ Guat Hee
The Menu, Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner 2017 Together We Care #kechara #dharma ~ kecharaoasis,com ~ Guat Hee
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The Menu, Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner 2017 Together We Care #kechara #dharma ~ kecharaoasis,com ~ Guat Hee
Door Gift, Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner 2017 Together We Care #kechara #dharma - Guat Hee
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Door Gift, Mid Autumn Festival Charity Dinner 2017 Together We Care #kechara #dharma - Guat Hee
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Portugal 113,139
Mongolia 93,222
Thailand 90,149
France 89,355
Italy 80,938
Spain 79,693
Brazil 78,911
Netherlands 74,303
New Zealand 55,943
Hong Kong 55,874
Romania 55,544
South Africa 53,992
Taiwan 53,707
Switzerland 50,213
Mexico 40,597
United Arab Emirates 37,470
Russia 35,928
Ireland 35,359
Japan 34,475
Sweden 33,069
Vietnam 31,035
Greece 29,663
Poland 27,966
Belgium 27,373
Sri Lanka 26,657
Turkey 24,949
Saudi Arabia 23,720
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Dorje Shugden
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