A Blind Corner at Each Decade?
Have you ever heard what older folk will tell you when you are aged ‘9’ in every decade? For instance, when you are 9, 19, 29, 39, 49, 59 or 69 years old.
The warnings will be, “Be careful, don’t take financial risks,” “Don’t drive too fast,” “Don’t travel too much,” “Be safe.” Interesting, isn’t it?
Do these warnings arise from the experience of having gone through those critical times or are they mere superstition?
There is a wise saying, “To be foretold is to be forewarned,” therefore at the end of it all, it is truly up to each individual to decide how they want to deal with this traditional and cultural belief.
At my age, I have gone through many of these ‘9th year’ turning points in my life. For some reason, I do not recall any particularly bad situations arising during these “obstacle” years. I have either forgotten, or, I have let go of the bad times.
The latter reaction sounds so much more profound i.e. that I have grown old graciously. However, those who know me personally are probably laughing – they know that I do not really forget “bad life events”. Rather, I may have forgotten if they occurred in my ‘9th years’.
While it’s still fresh in my memory, I’ll recall the incidents that occurred in the 69th year of my life. That is to say in 2017.
During the Lunar New Year, the family did not have a full reunion dinner. My children had some disagreements and they decided that forgiveness was not on the table. Then came the nasty debacle I had with my son. This is no secret as it happened on Facebook.
Then, my annual medical check-up seemed to go all wrong. It was nothing fatal but still totally inconvenient. Being a person who dislikes taking supplements, I now have to take iron, calcium and vitamins daily. The operation I had in America did not heal as well as it should and on that score, I now have to go for periodical checks with specialists. Thank goodness, these specialists are Malaysians and no long journeys are required.
What else? My aunt passed away. She was the last survivor of the previous generation. I wrote about this in my article “A Generation Gone”. And just last month, my cousin passed away. She was the first to go in my generation. It was scary for me, and a time for reflection – death is not something one faces well.
I was really sad and depressed, and it seems like nothing nice occurred in my life during this year of 2017.
The final straw was when my spare car keys went missing. I requested my domestic helpers to look for then. Until today, they still cannot be found. Worse, one of the helpers decided to quit as she was under stress and felt it was unfair that she had to look for the keys.
I completely lost it with so much frustration, anger, disillusionment, tiredness and all my other negative feelings. I lashed out with an unkind “scolding” session with all three of my domestic helpers. After that, I felt remorse for displaying so much unkindness.
As if he knew what was going on in my mind, my Guru, H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche sent me the following message.
After reading it, I felt that my verbal attack on my domestic helpers was fair and that I had the right to behave in that manner. It was good to feel justified in my wrong doings. I was almost joyful.
I thanked my Guru for the message and briefly explained what a bad situation I was in.
Immediately, I received the next message.
This message immediately burst my bubble of being justified for my wrong doings, for scolding my domestic helpers, and for keeping my negative feelings pent up. Instead, I had to contemplate and rebalance my emotional upheavals and get my feelings under control.
Rinpoche has always taught me that samsara is suffering and it is for me to change and go beyond what samsara offers to find peace and comfort in life.
Conclusion: Whether superstition about the ‘9th year’ is true or false, there are ways to make things better. The guidance from my Guru is my guiding light to navigate the treacherous waters of samsara. For those who do not have the good fortune to have a Guru, take the teachings of Dharma from Rinpoche’s blog to learn how to overcome and avert perceived “bad events” in your lives.
With that in mind, I am sure that I will be less agitated throughout the rest of 2017 and be able to enjoy what the coming years bring until the next 9th year of my next decade.
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The more I read about the author’s article, my admiration toward her grows. I felt the energy she exudes ever more from the day I first met her in a meeting. Yes, it was a meeting I remembered for life, her straightforwardness, no hidden agendas, focus on getting things done was unsurpassed. Now she exhibits even greater strength at older age, that’s the great strength of “letting go” which need great wisdom to understand it’s benefits!
Dear Datuk May ,
Thank you for sharing.
1st time hearing the 9’s as obstacles years.
As long as we do good, purify and contonue to be in dharma. Any obstacle will subdue. Nothing can stop us or influence us as long as we are in dharma and doing good deeds for all sentient beings.
Instead we should reflect what have we done in the past 9’s.
_/\_
What I heard is more than the 9;s…. 3 and 6 too from old folks many years back. I was warned on these ….year we odd to be careful and so forth. All those black years has passed by me with up and down. I do not believed of such myth and I don’t quite actually remember much and try not to remember as it’s the past. I have let go all ,just looking forward and now I am glad to have Rinpoche to thank for having learn and practice Dharma. Every day is a new day for me ,learning new knowledge from Rinpoche blog.
Thank you Datuk May for sharing your thoughts of the 9’s.
Dear friends,
This meme is powerful. Who you hang around with and the types of attitude they have is who you will be influenced by many times and who you will become in the future. Look at your friends and the people that always surround you to know who you will become.
Tsem Rinpoche
This bring to mind Rinpoche’s advice that, the moment we wake up we have to think positive if we can’t at least we recite mantras to help turn things around. Mantras have a powerful way to turn our mind from negative to a positive state.
Still sometimes a day can be so long, due to unpleasant situations cropping, almost like time stood still. Could the answer lie with going beyond pleasant and unpleasant feelings, or labelling something as plesant or unpleasant?
The “9th” year in Chinese myths are rather prevalent in my parents’ generation. However, this forewarning somehow died off over the last eight or ten years ago. My parents and their siblings have sort of “resigned” to the fact that there more happenings in all our lives than to pay heed to this “advise” as we all realized that on a daily basis we must be mindful and careful and not just at the turn of a decade.
Thank you Datuk for this sharing as this have literally left our minds and this is a good time to reflect as to how we conduct ourselves and navigate through samsara’s treacherous waters/ hurricane at times.
Warm regards
Lum Kok Luen
I have just heard about the 9th year theory few weeks ago. It seems to bring bad luck or omen. Never really believe in such thing but I guess everyone will have their ups and down, and I believe all this is due to our karma ripening. I for example was born on Friday the 13th, of which a very unlucky number for westerners. But so far life have been good. We are all very fortunate to have Rinpoche to give us Dorje Shugden teachings. When we have full trust on Dorje Shugden the dharma protector, we should not be afraid of the 9th year or even 13th theory.
Thank you Datuk May for your sharing.
Nice write up, Datuk May. I grew up hearing about this number 9 obstacle year,but not sure if it’s true or just superstition. But I do noticed and believe that it is not a coincident when Rinpoche posting quotes with teachings at the right timing. Many times in my own experience when I feel like giving up or confused, Rinpoche would post something on twitter or quotes. I know he can sense us and i also got the similar feedback from friends whom i introduced to Kechara. Anyway, I would like wish Datuk May a very Happy Sweet 70th Birthday!💛😘💋 . May you be happy and healthy always. Do look at the bright side of things as we only live once. Happiness and unhappiness is not permanent, as I remember Rinpoche once quoted. I may not be the happiest person in the world, but I do try to be happy go lucky and think positively to get my life moving. Cheers! 😍🌷🌻
Dear Datuk May,
I’ve not heard about the 9th year obstacles although I notice that Chinese do believe “obstacles years”. Tibetan Astorology also has the same believe that there are obstacles years and we have to rely more on Dharma Protector practices and to do lots of purification. https://goo.gl/JouKvw I am sure Relying on DS is the best for this reason.
Thank you.