Some thoughts on love relationships

Feb 23, 2012 | Views: 27,988
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Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to  destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships,  being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion,  genuine care, sharing and honesty. Tsem Rinpoche

 

In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your  relationship will grow stronger and better with time. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.  Tsem Rinpoche

 

It takes a years to earn the trust of your spouse, but one selfish mistake to break their heart. Then years to regain their trust again. Just be honest from the beginning and always be loyal. Tsem Rinpoche

 

There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Everyone has so much pain already. No one is not damaged goods. So why bring more pain to your partner. Love, cherish and respect your partner by being honest and always communicating. Tsem Rinpoche

 

I am sorry is ok once, twice but not three times. If you are always apologizing, maybe you are not respecting the relationship you are in. Either respect your relationship or create a prison. It’s up to you. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for selfish reasons. Tsem Rinpoche

 

No one forced you to have a relationship. So do not make excuses for hurting your partner. Take responsibility for all your actions starting with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues. Tsem Rinpoche

 

All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it…Tsem Rinpoche

 

When we look back and see how many partners we have changed, we can be sure it is a sign we have not fulfilled what we should be doing in life. Finding partners is just a delay tactic perhaps for what we should really be doing..Tsem Rinpoche

 

Partners and spouses are only ok to have when we are ok. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to hurt yourself and your partner is when you use them to hide  behind your selfish avoidances. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche

 

If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness. Tsem Rinpoche

 

You deserve what you give. The universe owes you nothing. But you owe the universe everything. Be comfortable with that thought first and then seek friends. Tsem Rinpoche

 

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49 Responses to Some thoughts on love relationships

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  1. Louisa on Jan 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    I’m always learning and practising loving people around me unconditionally. Although I did not love my parents the way they expect, i still love them but they can never get enough. Just because I dont love them the way they want and they thought I dont love them. I really upset and dont know what more I can do.

  2. Carmen Lin @ KMP on Sep 23, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts, with folded hands. What Rinpoche said is very truth and applicable to anyone of all walks of life. I will read it again and again when friends of mine had relationship problem or I myself having the problem, I can know where to find the solution and words of advice. Thank you again Rinpoche, for your efforts to enhance the lives of others.

  3. [...] is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for [...]

  4. Joy on Feb 14, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. ~ Tsem Rinpoche

    I like this quote the best… it is really true… most of us get in to a relationship for all the wrong reasons. They think life is like some Hollywood fantasy and they go chasing after this idealistic dream which in the end hurts us more than anything else when it does not fit our projections and expectations. And when get in to a relationship we tend to forget ourselves and our whole life revolves around that person, we do whatever that person wants, wishes, and sometimes we even allow ourselves to be use and abuse… all in the name of love. And we become dependent of this person like a puppet. I have seen this in so many of my friends… is it really love? Or is it because of our own insecurities and selfish reasons?

    Being true and comfortable with yourself, knowing who you are, where you stand and dealing with your own self first is far better because then when we do enter a relationship, we compliment the other instead of epecting, we give, instead of depending, we’re interdependent and it is a mutual, two way street kind of thing, where both can grow individually and together… especially if both partners were doing spirit Dharma practice together… it becomes a blessing to one another instead of an obstacle. A couple like this is a big inspiration… http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/for-couples.html

  5. Paris on Feb 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Rereading this again this Valentines’ day and thinking about how, at the heart of everything, is this real gritty honesty that we all need to look at, in every of our relationships. Once the razzle dazzle of moonlight, flowers and chocolates dies down, we are left ourselves to ourselves – then what?

    Then we start creating problems, either for ourselves, our parents, or both. The relationship itself doesn’t go wrong; nor is it our partner’s fault when things don’t peter out the way we want it to. At the end of the day, we have to remember that it takes two hands to clap and to ask ourselves what it is that *I* am doing right or wrong?

    Remember too, whenever things are tough, of the good times, the positive stuff and why it is we fell in love in the first place. Good always wins over the evil and yes, I do still believe that love can make the world go round, if only we stick with it.

  6. Paris on Feb 3, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    To add to this, Rinpoche gave a wonderful teaching on how to maintain a successful relationship at one of his students’ wedding a few years ago. I remember it being an especially beautiful teaching because the girl was Buddhist but the boy was Christian – and the advice given was just as relevant for both. Relive the teaching here! (it comes in three parts) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO9yjD_j5HI

    David Lai has also written a book about relationships based on these teachings – a very cute way of presenting different thoughts on relationships, but with this same underlying message that Rinpoche gives us. Here! “Conversations in Love”: http://www.kechara.com/publications/publications/mind-body-spirit/conversations-in-love/

  7. Jessica Yap on Dec 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Everything begins with me, myself, and I. How i feel, how i react to situations, how i treat others, everything is from me. These quotes should be read every now and then to contemplate on..

    Thank you for the profound quotes, Rinpoche!

  8. mitra on Jun 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    good advice for every one.

  9. Wan Wai Meng on Mar 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    These are really thought provoking thoughts about relationships. Thank you sharing them, such quotes will really help people think about what they are doing.

  10. su_zan on Mar 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Dear Rinpche thank you for all the above quotes. It reminds me of the talk you give during my wedding day.

    For me the above quotes not only apply on a couple relationship, it applies to all kinds of relationships (friends, teachers, family, children and etc)

    One of which is
    “Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche”

  11. Melinda yap on Mar 1, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,
    Thank you for your thoughts and advice on love and relationships. It is so so true what Rinpoche has shared. After reading, I looked back and pondered about my past relationships… It is true in order for a relationship to be in harmony,both parties should be honest plus have respect for each other from the beginning of the relationship. This will in time gives security and stability to the relationship…I love all the above thoughts by Rinpoche on love & relationships…I’ll save it so I could remind myself what love and relationship is all about! ;-)

  12. Albert Ratchaga on Feb 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for the quotes, some times we can be very possessive when we love someone, either to our partner or family, we tend to be very controlling, and the reason of being like this is just because “I LOVE YOU”.

    just a simple word I Love You, it became a manifestation of our selfishness, instead of accepting the person we love, we tend to turn them into our ideally person to be. we expect everything from them but giving nothing from ourselves… so are we really loving them or we actually loves ourselves more? Is love a taking or giving?

  13. Julia Tan on Feb 29, 2012 at 3:05 am

    “All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it”

    Something as simple as saying NO and we can avoid hurting ourselves and our partners. We didn’t do it. We let it be.

    If you truly love your partners, do something about it, before it is too late..

  14. Uncle Lai on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Thank you once again Rinpoche for all the wonderful quotes on love and relationships. You are the most caring person, always look into us and find ways to explain and teach how to live a happier life.

    Of all the quotes I like this the most. ‘In all relationships honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time.’ I fully agree with that because if we are honest we will not cheat, we dont lie, we trust and we are humble. I think this is so because it comes from inside us,

  15. patsy on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for sharing these useful quotes which we can use not only in relationships but with every one whether its friends relationship or love relationship. When we care for others and treat them well with respect, we will get the results of being treated well by others too.

    I like this one, “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.”

  16. Li Kheng on Feb 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for this insightful post on relationships. We spend so much time chasing after prince/princess charming whom we believe will make our world a better place. We often forget to consider using ourselves to make someone else’s world a better place. Thank you Rinpoche for this reminder. I especially like this quote:

    “There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche”

  17. Amala Sheilagh Mercer on Feb 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you , this is something , Dear Tsem Rinpoche, I will print put and read often ,I may also share it often to anyone open to reading it. And a copy in my washsroom, never know who reads the only reading matterial available to them there, I truly, realize and not all that long ago, that, there is an emotional love and then there is unconditional love,. That is a start , I believe, even though, this only scratches the surface, because of an out of body experience, it was difficult to fathom that much love . Yet changed my life. Now this here to read and remind me. .
    Love and Blessings
    Amala Sheilagh

  18. vc on Feb 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Dear All,
    All of your opinions about relationship maybe right or wrong.But all you haven’t got there yet.To get out of six defiling objects from your mind.All of you are subjected to six dusts defiling senses which all of you are attracted to such as beauty,intelligent,smell,senses.Be honest to yourself and speak the truth.Don’t go and claim yourself you are the GOD and not attracted to anything and swear and curse others when you are now wearing the ‘Human Body’. If you think don’t like this world you can always calm your mind and return to the source,the Origin and achieve perfect enlightenment like the Buddha.If you think you like what you are doing,just go with the flow and don’t complain.

  19. Li Kim on Feb 25, 2012 at 5:23 am

    These quotes are true and real. Not the usual mambo jumbo you get in books and cards. Many of the quotes from Rinpoche brought back the sweet and fond memories of relationships for me. I am not bitter la but can say that I have become slightly disenchanted. I think that I will just enjoy the quotes and not think too much into relationships.

    “When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues.” – this applies to many I must say…

  20. Datuk May on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    The quote I like best is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty”. I totally agree with this and in my own view love is not confined to couples and family only but rather it is universal and to be practised unconditionally.

    Love is tough to give as it challenges our selfishness, ego etc etc that concocts most negative emotions in most people. Being as delusional as we are, we think we are in bliss when there is love.

    I totally disagree that Rinpoche is not an expert in relationships and love, if the above quote is what attracts me then it is true for me that Rinpoche is the only one person I know that truly gives love to every sentient being.

    Now that is tough to practise.

  21. Jean Ai on Feb 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    After reading this, putting it alongside the video Rinpoche sent to us (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLH6-P6rIv8), I gotta add to this post – never choose someone on the basis of their looks! It all fades with age, no matter how rich, poor, fat or skinny you are! And death comes to everyone, so how do you want to live your relationship? With anger, disharmony and bitterness, or do you want your relationship to be the cause of something bigger and better? Rinpoche always says some relationships drag people down, and others lead to better things…if yours is the former, time to stop being selfish and let go, both for your benefit and for your partner’s!

  22. vc on Feb 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Rinpoche is very lucky to have get out of samsara and not involve in opposite sex relationships.Everyone should think they are indeed lucky and have the privilege to left the home life and seek the Way.We can only see what is worldly and not transcendental.This life is not just about humanity but transcendental to the ultimate reality.Nirvana.

  23. Wee Liang on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:43 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you so much for the dharma talk last night. Also thank you very much for all the quotes on love and relationships. Its very enlightening, makes me reflect. My favourite quote is ‘The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you.’ This one is harddddddd.

    Wee Liang

  24. Any Loke on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Wow, is so true about what Rinpoche wrote. But, human is really selfish, sometimes, we never think that the problem of the relationship is actually created by oursleves. After all the teachings and Puja that I have done it really helped so much in all aspects.

  25. bengkooi on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these thought provoking quotes. My favourite is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty.”

    To share with those who have not had the fortune to hear one of Rinpoche’s talks about relationships… As Rinpoche has said many times, a dharma relationship is different from a secular relationship because we are not in it just for ourselves. When we enter a dharma relationship, we must be determined to make it last. We must be determined to make it work regardless of whatever problems come along. We cannot just try things out because we may hurt the other person and that is a big no no.

    Its good to be aware of these things, because there are people who jump into relationships or even dharma relationships unaware of what it really entails and the commitment that we must put in.

    Bottom line – dont hurt others.
    Bottom bottom line: be a monk/nun!

  26. Khoo HH on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for the sharing on love relationships.
    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness”
    How can we hurt a person if we truly love that person, and we know that the person also love us. I think “Selfishness” is the only explaination on this. A lot of time we are treating our partner good because we wanted to feel good, not because we want our partner to feel good. I have heard of this situation a lot of times from people around me. A guy wanted to bring his girlfriend for a nice dinner because he wanted to make his girlfriend happy. But he got angry with his girlfriend when she took a long time to makeup. Suppose to be a romantic dinner, ended up with a quarrel in the house. I will always think, what is the objective of this dinner? To not miss the reserved table, or to make your partner happy? Perhaps he thought that his effort of booking the table is greater than his partner. I think if a couple truly love each other, even a roadside stall will be a romantic dinner.

  27. SEreNa on Feb 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Thanks for Rinpoche sharing on some thoughts for love and relationships.

    We must always remember to share and communicate with our love partner for every challenges we face in life. You have make your choice to spend the rest of your life with the loved one. SO, Be responsible and respect to the loved one. Don’t be selfish as pain will arise to the loved one including youself.

  28. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is….

  29. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    “And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is”

  30. Uncle Eddie on Feb 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Is love all we need to make a successful and fulfilling life relationship? Obviously, not all love relationships are the “Life Partnership kind”. It is important to realise and recognise that, and be okay with that. We can learn so much from the experiences of past relationships, to change towards the better, to a more adaptable, improved and acceptable one for both partners. It is everyone’s goal to have the desire of finding a life partner who caters to one’s entire needs and satisfaction. We all want someone who looks good, always make us laugh, supports us, respect us and trusts us well. Before we can find that ‘someone’, we need to be that person – that includes accepting all faults and short comings of oneself and that of your life partner too. A healthy relationship, essentially, should have a good building up of respect, loyalty, trust and a good admiration for each other; more similar to a house solid basic foundation structure, where the more love and nurturance we put into it, is what makes it a happy home, and a successful and fulfilling life relationship in the years to come.

  31. Ash Ng on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Dear Rinpoche, You have given us some wonderful insights on having relationships with others. I especially agree with the few advises below;

    1) When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first.

    2) Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt.

    I feel these 2 major points encompass all the others and when we are REALLY ready after dealing with our deep seeded insecurities, comfortable and accepting ourselves then only we take the next step. Appreciate Your enlightening insights and You care for us with others. Will put in effort working on these as the essence of Dharma is compassion towards others and not hurting or harming them would be the first priority. Thus, working on oneself first is the key to happiness. Tashi delek

  32. Yvonne Yap on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche! this is a reminder , remind the things we know, but we always forgot.Because you care.

  33. abby on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Love and compassion is the greatest lesson in everyone’s life.
    Yes, Rinpoche may not be the expert, but yes, Rinpoche do care about everyone. And with this compassion, Rinpoche is the Love Guru :)

  34. tenzin llhamo on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    This is the one I like the most. Because of being dishonest, so many relationships are destroyed. How sad! But now that we understand, we must be better. Treat relationships with respect, humility and honesty.

    ‘In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time’

  35. Margaretlee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts and experiences you have encountered with the many stories you were told.

    I think responsibility, honesty, sincerity and intergrity apply to everything we do in our life, be it work or relationship.

    There is a saying that people only starts to know themselves when they are in a relationship, it is indeed true when we realise we always demand this and that from our partner and never gives back, a state of complete self absorption. relationship is about giving and not taking.

    I paticularly like this quote from Rinpoche : “When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche”

    Going to share this blog with many of my samsara friends…..

  36. yekyee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Each of Rinpoche is very logic and make sense. When we choose a relationship, must always our partner with real care and patient. No one is perfect. How can we go along with each other, tolerance is another good deed we need practice. I believe very strongly on it. My aunty friend always with me, it is not easy for two different character person live, eat, play, work together, need so much efforts and patient. I agreed. Thankyou for Rinpoche sharing.

  37. shivani on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I want to know a little about Karmic Connection.We meet people but they leave us yet we cannot earse them

  38. Jace Chong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing these very useful quotes.

    Relationship used to be something very hard for me to juggle in between love and selfishness. When I had quarrel with partner, I always not sure this is because I want him to be my way, or I want my partner to improve. And the definition of improvement is vary to different people.

    “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications. ”

    This is a very practical way. I should not focus on what I want, but what is best for our partner.

    Even Rinpoche didn’t go through all these, Rinpoche understand better than everyone else what should we practice in relationship. Salute to Rinpoche, as always!

  39. Han Siew Fong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    All the advices will sink into my mind. .. and have a better relationship with my partner

    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness.” Tsem Rinpoche

    i contemplated on the above and i do realize the meaning of the quote.

    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful post

  40. Nicholas on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Thanks for Rinpoche advice.

    Found that the teaching is not just for relationship but it is also applicable for anything we do in our life.

    It’s all about care. How much we want to do for others is how much we cares for others.
    We responsible for the relationship because no one can force us. We are the one choose to be and should go all the way. I like this! No point to regret on what we have not done to save the relationship because we can always be the one to take action first.

    It’s not about who love whom more than who suppose to take the first move, it’s how much you love, how much you appreciate and how far you want to go with your relationship.

    This is just applicable for everything in our life.

  41. kenny wong on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Again, thank you for you kind insights. We choose our partners ourselves and have to accept him/her for who she is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the whole. How we percieve and accept our patners is totally up to us, thus we control our own happiness in the relationship. But if we are not generous and cannot lose out in the relationship and must win all the time, we will definately be the one losing at the end…. being unhappy, unfulfilled and bitter.

    Your words of advice are so true and spot on Rinpoche.

  42. skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Dear Rinpoche, thank you very much for the good advises.

    “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the same expectation on yourself.”

    “Trying to put away, hiding, or avoiding relationship issues won’t make them go away. You need to talk over or be clear about it.”

    “Always bringing up and rehashing previous issues mean the issue doesn’t solve go away or it just mean you’re not letting go and keep holding on to it.”

    • skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

      Correction:
      “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the _different_ expectation on yourself.”

  43. Hui Keng on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    LOVE is in the air. Read on baby…How lucky Rinpoche giving advice around the clock! Rinpoche’s love is genuinely unconditional hence it survives all tests and challenges. We are pretty much lucky to have Rinpoche. We have sowed good seeds for this to happen and we must utilise fully given this opportunity. Rinpoche immensely love all of us, even more deeply than what our parents can do.

  44. Irene on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

    But what about a situation in which one partner dominates the whole family, and always expects to be bowed and scraped to. He always complains about how nobody does anything right (like he wants), and threatens to leave if we don’t shape up. I often wonder how much of this is due to his family background. (He grew up in an abusive environment.)

    Don’t get me wrong–he can be charming and generous when he wants to be, but sometimes I think he does it in order to manipulate people. (When we do what he wants, he praises them or gives them little gifts, otherwise he criticizes and sulks.) If things get too quiet, then he’s good at manufacturing drama (like claiming to have a mortal illness), and he just loves to gossip. But he doesn’t think that HE is doing any of this, according to him he’s just humbly following what is right (as he was taught). And somehow he always ends up being the center of attention.

    I’m probably making him sound like a monster, but that’s not right. He can be loyal and compassionate (he loves animals, and gives to charity) and is obviously very hard working and a very good manager. He has the potential to make a positive impact on the world. But we’re in this lopsided relationship with him, in which he gets to set all the conditions, and anyone who can’t accept that can just leave. (He’s alienated a lot of people over the years, although he tells it a different way–who knows what the truth is.) Anyway, Rinpoche, I’m sure you know people like that. What to do…?

    • mrs cheung on Feb 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      dear rinpoche, i also know someone similar to what irene has written here in her reply, plus more. he also flirts with younger women but his sick and old wife could do nothing to stop him. facing such a monster, she could only soar and sob over her misfortune. uneducated, unemployed, unwanted, old and sick. she has no where to run to. what to do…?

  45. freon on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    With folded hand, Thank you Guru

  46. tsemtulku on Feb 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Some thoughts on love and relationships..I am not the expert, but over the years I have to listen to alot of people and I came out with some of my own conclusions…

    • Sophia chung on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Dear Rinpoche,

      Thank you for your advice on relationship. It made me reflect on myself to improve tremendously..
      It was great pleasure to meet u in the gompa last nite. I feel very lucky to receive
      a dharma talk in person from you. Although shocking, It was priceless, the love and effort you put in for
      Your students. Thank you for taking the time to pay us the visit.

      Sophia

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KECHARA FOREST RETREAT PROGRESS UPDATES

Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.

Noticeboard

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  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, Jul 27. 2015 02:48 PM
    To this supreme being and your Illustrious line of incarnations, I humbly bow, take refuge and request to never be separated from you. Tulku Drakpa Gyeltsen who remains undefeated by rituals, magic, mantras, negative words, fire pujas and suppression from the highest, your time has come. Your lineage and your works will grow and expand into the three planes, ten directions and six realms as pre-ordained by the vows you took in front of Buddha and again Manjunatha Tsongkapa. May we gain your attainments and be protected by you. All beings’ sufferings be released as dedicated by the supreme Shantideva. May Dharma reign supreme and Mara’s forces by quelled.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/golden-undefeated-lama-of-blessings.html
  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, Jul 27. 2015 02:44 PM
    For Christina – Dear Christina, you might want to learn about the Gyenze Dorje Shugden practise http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/dorje-shugden-gyenze-to-increase-life-merits-and-wealth.html for the situation you have mentioned. Should you have further queries, please Ask the Pastors here http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/ask-the-pastors. All the best, Pastor Adeline
  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, Jul 27. 2015 02:35 PM
    Vajrayogini and Heruka are one and inseparable; Vajrayogini is the condensed form of Heruka’s practice and Heruka is the extended form of Vajrayogini’s practice. They are represented as male and female Buddhas but actually they are one.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/herukas-eye.html
  • Christina
    Sunday, Jul 26. 2015 10:18 PM
    I finished my engineering..am born in 28 dec 1992 till now i didnt in a permanent job..always facing failure and no money in my bank account.my neighbours all are making problems with us teasing us.we cant able to survive in that place peacefully…
  • tsemtulku
    Friday, Jul 24. 2015 02:21 AM
    “Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche: At the end of the day, education is brainwashing. Brainwashing is inevitable. We human beings love doing that. We are already brainwashed—we don’t know otherwise. So since we are going to brainwash anyway, it’s good to brainwash with good motivation and so that we can be kind, harmonious, and also decent. Becoming decent human beings seems to be not so much in the modern education agenda because, as we all know, modern education seems to be so much about what we can have. Human beings are defined by what we have, like cars and houses. And then modern education is also so much geared towards getting a job. There are very few schools that teach you anything other than what will benefit you in getting a job”
  • xuliang
    Wednesday, Jul 22. 2015 12:06 PM
    Lower life forms do not know about spirituality and yet they live in bliss except at times when they are predated upon. Have we ever thought of this? The lower life forms do not distinguish vices from virtues nor do they get into a process to become ‘good’. They simply are ‘being’ within the totality of reality of which they are not even conscious since they are not self-conscious beings. If that be so, why do humans make such a big deal of ‘spirituality’? This is not to cast aspersions on any analysis in spirituality but a genuine self contemplation on why we, or at least those who perceive a fundamental error in our individual or collective conduct, contemplate about this anomaly & obvious aberration in human conduct? Suppose if we just be with everything without either glorification or condemnation and be true to our being self-conscious, which faculty is given for a purpose in our evolutionary journey and dwell deep into that inquiry without any obvious answers or concepts or conclusions, we would perhaps done justice to our being self-conscious beings. But unfortunately this is not to be since we are literally obsessed with concepts, even of spirituality which does no good and of religion which has done more harm than any good and are literally living in our mental field which by itself cannot take us beyond it, if the true meaning of existence is indeed beyond it or deep within, both being a gateway for a realm that we ‘know’ exists and where we can be what we are; conscious animals in the total existential field in harmony with everything that are.
  • tsemtulku
    Wednesday, Jul 22. 2015 05:01 AM
    What an inspiring and beautiful documentary. One of my favorites: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=55805
  • Pastor Adeline
    Tuesday, Jul 21. 2015 02:58 PM
    “Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man, living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send *you* to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time…but he loves you.”

    George Carlin

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/where-do-we-really-come-from.html
  • Pastor Adeline
    Tuesday, Jul 21. 2015 01:26 PM
    Tortoises Kadro and Menlha have been long time residences with the Kechara Organisation, taken care by many volunteers since 2009. While the animal caretakers feed and provide shelter to Kadro and Menlha, these tortoises require kind sponsors to fund their daily needs – mainly food, maintenance and veterinary care.

    Kechara Forest Retreat would love to extend this opportunity for more people to show love to the residents at The Aviary, particularly Kadro and Menlha and we seek your kind sponsorships to keep them happy and loved.

    With just $300 a month, Kadro and Menlha’s meals and veterinary care (if necessary) would be taken care of. We seek a total amount of $4,800 from this fund raising to keep the tortoises happy for the next coming 16 months.

    Please support this good cause here http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/sadhana-prayers.html
  • Pastor Adeline
    Tuesday, Jul 21. 2015 01:24 PM
  • Pastor Adeline
    Tuesday, Jul 21. 2015 01:22 PM
    Tsem Rinpoche: Dear Jacinta, Thank you for sharing with Choong my blog post on Nibiru. I am glad you remember that post.

    Jacinta Goh: Choong, the Planet Nibiru was once mentioned by Rinpoche here http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/where-do-we-really-come-from.html. Annunaki, believed to be giants at 10 feet tall and there was once I read a sutra where Lord Buddha telling his disciple about the beings that live far from us and they’re a lot bigger than us. We are considered alien and very small to them. Perhaps in future when we are able to space travel, then this finding could be a fact rather than just mere believing.
  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, Jul 20. 2015 09:51 AM
    Don’t be a saint and that is fine. Cannot be a saint and that is fine. But at least be human. Being human means to have some civilized respect for others and not just use others for our own selfish purposes. H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche 25th

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/dont-be-a-saint.html
  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, Jul 20. 2015 09:49 AM
    spent around 6 hours on one blog post today. Glad I finished it. Afterwards had a bad pain in my neck,shoulder from sitting too long. But luckily had someone give me a strong rub down on the neck,shoulder with their elbows and it solved the problem. I have to stretch more when writing, but when I get into it, it’s hard to stop. LOL. Tsem Rinpoche
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, Jul 19. 2015 05:17 AM
    Dear friends, do promote this video please so we can get the message across: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ZeQ-44O00
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, Jul 19. 2015 04:08 AM
    When we think about things thoroughly so many things do not really matter but we have lived our lives for these things. These things we have placed so much importance on them and in the end they are really just empty and something I keep falsely seeing as important. Realizing this more and more makes me worried for the time I’ve wasted on unimportant things and happier knowing I am better for it. How am I better off for it? I let go more and if the same things occur again, I am less or not affected. Tsem Rinpoche

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CREDITS

Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Khong Jean Mei, Justin Ripley, Pastor Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Writer: Pastor Loh Seng Piow
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

What Am I Writing Now


 

The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
11 hours ago
This one is a real good one. TR
3 days ago
profound and powerful
4 days ago
Peace is what we need.
7 days ago
Some people have the freedom and some people don't. But all deserve it. 
1 week ago
We all have a choice of how others view us and where we end up. Have shared my thoughts here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=70726
2 weeks ago
Welcome!
2 weeks ago
I wonder who did this art piece.
2 weeks ago
Read this chart for your dogs if you love them.
2 weeks ago
This is a fantastic outdoor Tara. Wow. Part 2
2 weeks ago
This is a fantastic outdoor Tara. Wow.
2 weeks ago
Look at this!! Kind hearted and sweet Kirk offers me- home-made banana and coconut milk pancakes!!! What a lovely and kind gesture. I am sure it will be delicious because it came from Kirk's heart. Thank you. Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
LOOK AT THIS CURRY RECIPE!! This would be loved by many-Yummy: http://mouthwateringvegan.com/2015/07/07/panch-puren-caramel-vegetable-curry/ It is vegan too!!!! We don't have to eat animals at all. Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
This is good to remember.
2 weeks ago
This is a real good read. Click enlarge and read.
2 weeks ago
Oser, Dharma and Mumu just got their haircuts and cleaned and groomed!!! Look at Mumu's big black eyes all round, alert and wants to play. Mumu is smiling. Dharma does not like is haircut. He looks plucked! Dharma is like, I hate my haircut! And cute Oser is saying SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ZAMKAR!! LOL. Do not call her Zamkar! hehehe
2 weeks ago
Very nice. Our Pastor Chia in the papers. Glad to see this. Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
“If one does the recitation of the Lama Tsongkhapa guru yoga prayer for even one month using one of the visualizations for great or clear or quick wisdom, one will definitely see development of that wisdom. It is proved by experience. There is no doubt that by doing the Lama Tsongkhapa guru yoga practice one can meet Lama Tsongkhapa’s teachings from life to life. And furthermore, it gives one the opportunity to be born in the pure realm of Lama Tsongkhapa, Tushita, whenever death happens.” - Pabongkha Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
Magadha Sangmo which is the very 1st incarnation of Tsem Rinpoche. She lived during Buddha's time. She was a disciple of Lord Buddha Himself and was very devoted to Buddha. Because of Her devotion, She brought thousands onto the path of Buddha and His teachings.
2 weeks ago
Very Holy White Tara painted by His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche (previous). Wow.
2 weeks ago
The eagle has caught this bird and it's spouse desperately tries to save the spouse. Animals definitely have a sense of friendship and companionship and feel pain. We should never hurt them. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Do not eat chicken or the egg. It doesn't matter which came first.~Tsem Rinpoche Read more: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/category/animals-vegetarianism
3 weeks ago
Did you know there is a horoscope section on tsemrinpoche.com where you can just read and follow the instructions to find the compatibility. Type in your sign and the other person's and you get an answer immediately. Very interesting. Just click here :- http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/horoscopes/the-chinese-zodiac.html
3 weeks ago
Such a honest and sincere comment he posted for everyone to read. Very honest. Nice. I appreciate it.
3 weeks ago
One of the most BEAUTIFUL, captivating and lovely shrines/temples/altars to Buddha I have ever had the merits to gaze upon. The background is so nice. Busy but not distracting. The lighting is a perfect balance to highlight the attainments of Buddha as it's directly emanating behind his head. Buddha statue itself is proportionate. Just so beautiful.
3 weeks ago
Beautiful Dorje Shugden on horse
3 weeks ago
Very good friends. Very nice people. I like them. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
As I lay still, cold, alone and never to wake up again, what have I done with my life to prepare for this 'eternity'? No one will see me nor will I see them again. They would not want to see me again as I turn blue, brown, bloat, smell and decompose into dust.~Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Ancient and sacred Manjushri from Reting Monastery
3 weeks ago
Beautiful and holy Manjushri. Very sacred at Reting Monastery. TR
3 weeks ago
Very good.
3 weeks ago
His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche with Kyabje Dromo Geshe Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
2015-Myself having audience with my holy protector. See more pictures: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=68740
3 weeks ago
Panchen Sonam Drakpa, fifteenth Throne-holder of Je Tsongkhapa (Ganden Tripa), and former abbot of Gaden, Sera, and Drepung monasteries (the only monk to ever become abbot of all three).
3 weeks ago
Hardworking and kind Kecharians. Their dedication touches me deeply. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
“The problem is not enjoyment; the problem is attachment.”-Tilopa
4 weeks ago
Golden Undefeated Lama of Blessings: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=69823
4 weeks ago
This is the illustrious Changkya Rolpai Dorje who is the previous incarnation of Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=4297
4 weeks ago
Special painting of Manjushri and here is his short praise to do daily: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=69797
4 weeks ago
See what is a tsatsa and their origins and purpose: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=69630
4 weeks ago
Dear friends, recently I had audience with my dharma protector via the official Panglung Oracle, you can see more here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=68740
4 weeks ago
Dear Pasang and Wife, I thank you both for your wonderful agate mala gift. It is very kind of you. Much prayers for you both, Tsem Rinpoche
4 weeks ago
Very good news!!
4 weeks ago
Excellent advice
4 weeks ago
This is super simple yet super powerful and it is the black and white truth. Read this short thought and contemplate deeply. Tsem Rinpoche 
4 weeks ago
At the age of 23, Tsongkhapa went to the region of U to meet up with some people from his hometown, Amdo. His friends entreated him to return to Amdo and they also gave him a letter from his mother. She also requested him to return to Amdo and had slipped one of her white hairs in the letter too. Touched by this, Tsongkhapa considered returning to Amdo for a while. However, when he contemplated deeper. he realized that if he left for Amdo, he would be disrupting his practices of mental discipline. As there was no benefit, he sadly decided not to return to his homeland. Instead he sent a thangka of a painting of himself to his mother in Amdo. When his mother opened it, the picture spoke to her and it was as if Tsongkhapa was there with her, which brought her great joy. In a letter accompanying the thangka, Tsongkhapa requested his mother and sister to build a stupa around the sandalwood tree which had sprung up at his birth. His mother and sister complied and from that stupa, the holy monastery of Kumbum developed.
1 month ago
In this day and age this is totally necessary: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=69186
1 month ago
Never listen to one's own egoistic thoughts, but follow what Dorje Shugden advises always. Your ego makes sure you lose but Dorje Shugden makes sure you win!~ Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
Pastor David giving dharma talks today in Kechara Forest Retreat. Tsem Rinpoche 
Click on "View All Photos" above to view more images

Videos On The Go

Please click on the images to watch video
  • His Holiness Trijang Rinpoche accepts Long Life puja
    2 weeks ago
    His Holiness Trijang Rinpoche accepts Long Life puja
  • Dorje Shugden/Kache Marpo makes offerings to Tsem Rinpoche
    2 weeks ago
    Dorje Shugden/Kache Marpo makes offerings to Tsem Rinpoche
  • My good friend Justin Ripley
    4 weeks ago
    My good friend Justin Ripley
  • -
    2 months ago
    I requested Choji Lah to do a trusol, rabney and soongdroop for our large DS and Buddha. In this video, he is performing trusol which is ritually 'bathing' the environment and blessing all those who come to visit our Wisdom Hall and Dorje Shugden. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Bigfoot arrives!!!
    2 months ago
    Bigfoot arrives!!!
    Tsem Rinpoche is an avid follower of the paranormal such as bigfoots. For more interesting writings and posts on the subject, please go to http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/category/yeti-bigfoot-sasquatch
  • Mumu Loves Snack!
    2 months ago
    Mumu Loves Snack!
  • -
    2 months ago
    For H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, a blog post is not just a blog post but Dharma work that generates merits which should be dedicated. Click here to find out what blog post Rinpoche was dedicating the merits for when he recited this prayer: http://bit.ly/1KiXWf9 ~Ani Lobsang Pema
  • -
    2 months ago
    Panchen Lama in Beijing on CCTV - China's official news. The respect and position they give His Holiness Panchen Lama is great.
  • Magical fish tank with Buddha statue
    2 months ago
    Magical fish tank with Buddha statue
  • His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Dorje Chang chants the prayer of Dorje Shugden
    2 months ago
    His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Dorje Chang chants the prayer of Dorje Shugden
  • Gongkar the bird at Kechara Forest Retreat
    3 months ago
    Gongkar the bird at Kechara Forest Retreat
    For much more information, pictures and videos about the rescued birds at the aviary of Kechara Forest Retreat, click here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/aviary-kfr.html
  • Watch Dorje Shugden: My Side Of The Story. Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxC6uKHM3dY
    3 months ago
    Watch Dorje Shugden: My Side Of The Story. Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxC6uKHM3dY
  • A step by step explanation of Dorje Shugden's iconography in 3D!
    3 months ago
    A step by step explanation of Dorje Shugden's iconography in 3D!
  • Another Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo
    5 months ago
    Another Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo
  • A Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo
    5 months ago
    A Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo

ASK A PASTOR


A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

Scroll down and click on "View All Questions" to view archived questions.

View All Questions

CHAT PICTURES

12 hours ago
We welcomed 17 members from Lions Club George Town Mutiara to our kitchen. Pastor Patsy
12 hours ago
Food distribution by KSK volunteers and members of Lions Club George Town Mutiara around Georgetown, Penang. Pastor Patsy
12 hours ago
Busy night at the kitchen with members of Lions Club George Town Mutiara at KSK Penang. Pastor Patsy
12 hours ago
A short briefing on the do and don't before heading out for food distribution. Pastor Patsy
13 hours ago
Dharma Protector puja ( Dorje Shugden & Setrap) English session was led by Pastor KH Ng at Kechara House gompa. This week puja was kindly sponsored by Kellyn C Sy and Josselynn GY Koh. Lucy Yap
13 hours ago
Weekly (Chinese ) Dzambala puja on Monday at 8pm -10 pm was led by Poney Sim at Kechara House gompa. Lucy Yap
18 hours ago
Our food bank client Uncle Soo looking very happy after receiving his new mattress kindly donated by Angeline. 我们食物银行客户苏伯伯在收到由Angeline所赞助的床单感到非常高兴。Justin@KSK
18 hours ago
Our Sunday team in action yesterday evening in Petaling Jaya area. 昨天在Petaling Jaya举行的分发食物活动。Justin@KSK
19 hours ago
These beautiful tormas are prepared for Namgyal Tsechog Puja. By Puja House 27 July'15
19 hours ago
Offering for tonight Puja at Gompa was prepared. By Puja House, 27 July'15
19 hours ago
Before Puja starts, the flowers is pin to torma as decoration. By Puja House 27 July,15
19 hours ago
Dzambala Puja sponsored by overseas sponsor request for inner and outer wealth. By Puja House, 27 July,15
21 hours ago
Teacher Victoria used her magic to get all her students (aged 9-10 years old) to stay quiet while listening to her dharma sharing. Stella
21 hours ago
Any guess on what's the message that captured Teacher Lai's attention? :) Stella
21 hours ago
Teacher Kien ushered student of age 7-8 years old to the next activity after their dharma class on Sunday. In Kechara Sunday Dharma Class, student gets to learn the dharma as well as participate in co-curriculum activities i.e. drama, play, song and dance, art and craft, etc. Stella
21 hours ago
Students as young as 2 years old lined up to get ready for the 3 prostration to His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche 25th and the 3 Jewels. This practice at the start of every Kechara Sunday Dharma Class helps instill discipline and also plant the seed of dharma. They learn to be respectful whenever they see Buddha statues. Stella
21 hours ago
Teacher Jesvin and Teacher Melissa imparting dharma knowledge through group discussion with student aged 14-16 years old in Kechara Sunday Dharma School. Stella
22 hours ago
Students aged 5-6 years old sat in a circle surrounding Teacher Serena during the story telling session in Kechara Sunday Dharma Class on Sunday 8:30-10am. Stella
yesterday
After Every session of Puja, the team tidy up the altar. By Puja House, 27 July'15
yesterday
Students of age 11-13 learning Right Action of the Eightfold Path in Kechara Sunday Dharma School. Stella
yesterday
Puja House's Altar have two "wishing trees" where lots of sponsors photos hang on it. Every Puja they are blessed. By Puja House, 26 July'15
yesterday
Dorje Shugden Puja is a popular Puja demanded by many sponsors. Many sponsors ordered the Puja repeatedly. By Puja House, 26 July'15
2 days ago
Welcome to Kechara Forest Retreat. We aim to have this place help heal inner and outer ills and gain the attainment of calm mind, peace and detoxification. ~Tsem Rinpoche Watch "Building Kechara Forest Retreat For The World 为世界打造一座禅修林" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/YwDeYR17EXI From: June Tang (Khjb)
2 days ago
Dear friend, We have set up a campaign to raise fund for the tortoises in Kechara Forest Retreat. Please support these beautiful lives by sponsoring their daily meals and the upkeep of the wonderful environment they are living in. ¥Help make it happen for 'Sponsoring The ‪Tortoises‬' ¥ https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sponsoring-the-tortoises From: June Tang (Khjb)
2 days ago
My Guru is important than others ! From: June Tang (Khjb)

 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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