Some thoughts on love relationships

Feb 23, 2012 | Views: 30,128
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Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

It takes a years to earn the trust of your spouse, but one selfish mistake to break their heart. Then years to regain their trust again. Just be honest from the beginning and always be loyal. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Everyone has so much pain already. No one is not damaged goods. So why bring more pain to your partner. Love, cherish and respect your partner by being honest and always communicating. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

I am sorry is ok once, twice but not three times. If you are always apologizing, maybe you are not respecting the relationship you are in. Either respect your relationship or create a prison. It’s up to you. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for selfish reasons. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

No one forced you to have a relationship. So do not make excuses for hurting your partner. Take responsibility for all your actions starting with your partner. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

When we look back and see how many partners we have changed, we can be sure it is a sign we have not fulfilled what we should be doing in life. Finding partners is just a delay tactic perhaps for what we should really be doing. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Partners and spouses are only ok to have when we are ok. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to hurt yourself and your partner is when you use them to hide behind your selfish avoidances. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

You deserve what you give. The universe owes you nothing. But you owe the universe everything. Be comfortable with that thought first and then seek friends. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

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50 Responses to Some thoughts on love relationships

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  1. Anne Ong on Dec 15, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    I totally agree with Rinpoche that the key to a good relationship and love must have respect,honesty,loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing,communication. And i would also like to add in that, in my humble opinion… moral support for each other is very important too. And without communication on both sides is like we cannot clap with one hand. If one partner wants to communicate,but the other is not cooperating,the relationship cannot work out to be a happy one. I will keep these in mind if i ever find my Mr Right. 🙂 Thank you very much Rinpoche for these beautiful relationship and love quotes.

    With folded palms and love,
    Anne Ong

  2. Louisa on Jan 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    I’m always learning and practising loving people around me unconditionally. Although I did not love my parents the way they expect, i still love them but they can never get enough. Just because I dont love them the way they want and they thought I dont love them. I really upset and dont know what more I can do.

  3. Carmen Lin @ KMP on Sep 23, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts, with folded hands. What Rinpoche said is very truth and applicable to anyone of all walks of life. I will read it again and again when friends of mine had relationship problem or I myself having the problem, I can know where to find the solution and words of advice. Thank you again Rinpoche, for your efforts to enhance the lives of others.

  4. […] is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for […]

  5. Joy on Feb 14, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. ~ Tsem Rinpoche

    I like this quote the best… it is really true… most of us get in to a relationship for all the wrong reasons. They think life is like some Hollywood fantasy and they go chasing after this idealistic dream which in the end hurts us more than anything else when it does not fit our projections and expectations. And when get in to a relationship we tend to forget ourselves and our whole life revolves around that person, we do whatever that person wants, wishes, and sometimes we even allow ourselves to be use and abuse… all in the name of love. And we become dependent of this person like a puppet. I have seen this in so many of my friends… is it really love? Or is it because of our own insecurities and selfish reasons?

    Being true and comfortable with yourself, knowing who you are, where you stand and dealing with your own self first is far better because then when we do enter a relationship, we compliment the other instead of epecting, we give, instead of depending, we’re interdependent and it is a mutual, two way street kind of thing, where both can grow individually and together… especially if both partners were doing spirit Dharma practice together… it becomes a blessing to one another instead of an obstacle. A couple like this is a big inspiration… http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/for-couples.html

  6. Paris on Feb 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Rereading this again this Valentines’ day and thinking about how, at the heart of everything, is this real gritty honesty that we all need to look at, in every of our relationships. Once the razzle dazzle of moonlight, flowers and chocolates dies down, we are left ourselves to ourselves – then what?

    Then we start creating problems, either for ourselves, our parents, or both. The relationship itself doesn’t go wrong; nor is it our partner’s fault when things don’t peter out the way we want it to. At the end of the day, we have to remember that it takes two hands to clap and to ask ourselves what it is that *I* am doing right or wrong?

    Remember too, whenever things are tough, of the good times, the positive stuff and why it is we fell in love in the first place. Good always wins over the evil and yes, I do still believe that love can make the world go round, if only we stick with it.

  7. Paris on Feb 3, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    To add to this, Rinpoche gave a wonderful teaching on how to maintain a successful relationship at one of his students’ wedding a few years ago. I remember it being an especially beautiful teaching because the girl was Buddhist but the boy was Christian – and the advice given was just as relevant for both. Relive the teaching here! (it comes in three parts) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO9yjD_j5HI

    David Lai has also written a book about relationships based on these teachings – a very cute way of presenting different thoughts on relationships, but with this same underlying message that Rinpoche gives us. Here! “Conversations in Love”: http://www.kechara.com/publications/publications/mind-body-spirit/conversations-in-love/

  8. Jessica Yap on Dec 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Everything begins with me, myself, and I. How i feel, how i react to situations, how i treat others, everything is from me. These quotes should be read every now and then to contemplate on..

    Thank you for the profound quotes, Rinpoche!

  9. mitra on Jun 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    good advice for every one.

  10. Wan Wai Meng on Mar 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    These are really thought provoking thoughts about relationships. Thank you sharing them, such quotes will really help people think about what they are doing.

  11. su_zan on Mar 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Dear Rinpche thank you for all the above quotes. It reminds me of the talk you give during my wedding day.

    For me the above quotes not only apply on a couple relationship, it applies to all kinds of relationships (friends, teachers, family, children and etc)

    One of which is
    “Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche”

  12. Melinda yap on Mar 1, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,
    Thank you for your thoughts and advice on love and relationships. It is so so true what Rinpoche has shared. After reading, I looked back and pondered about my past relationships… It is true in order for a relationship to be in harmony,both parties should be honest plus have respect for each other from the beginning of the relationship. This will in time gives security and stability to the relationship…I love all the above thoughts by Rinpoche on love & relationships…I’ll save it so I could remind myself what love and relationship is all about! 😉

  13. Albert Ratchaga on Feb 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for the quotes, some times we can be very possessive when we love someone, either to our partner or family, we tend to be very controlling, and the reason of being like this is just because “I LOVE YOU”.

    just a simple word I Love You, it became a manifestation of our selfishness, instead of accepting the person we love, we tend to turn them into our ideally person to be. we expect everything from them but giving nothing from ourselves… so are we really loving them or we actually loves ourselves more? Is love a taking or giving?

  14. Julia Tan on Feb 29, 2012 at 3:05 am

    “All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it”

    Something as simple as saying NO and we can avoid hurting ourselves and our partners. We didn’t do it. We let it be.

    If you truly love your partners, do something about it, before it is too late..

  15. Uncle Lai on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Thank you once again Rinpoche for all the wonderful quotes on love and relationships. You are the most caring person, always look into us and find ways to explain and teach how to live a happier life.

    Of all the quotes I like this the most. ‘In all relationships honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time.’ I fully agree with that because if we are honest we will not cheat, we dont lie, we trust and we are humble. I think this is so because it comes from inside us,

  16. patsy on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for sharing these useful quotes which we can use not only in relationships but with every one whether its friends relationship or love relationship. When we care for others and treat them well with respect, we will get the results of being treated well by others too.

    I like this one, “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.”

  17. Li Kheng on Feb 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for this insightful post on relationships. We spend so much time chasing after prince/princess charming whom we believe will make our world a better place. We often forget to consider using ourselves to make someone else’s world a better place. Thank you Rinpoche for this reminder. I especially like this quote:

    “There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche”

  18. Amala Sheilagh Mercer on Feb 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you , this is something , Dear Tsem Rinpoche, I will print put and read often ,I may also share it often to anyone open to reading it. And a copy in my washsroom, never know who reads the only reading matterial available to them there, I truly, realize and not all that long ago, that, there is an emotional love and then there is unconditional love,. That is a start , I believe, even though, this only scratches the surface, because of an out of body experience, it was difficult to fathom that much love . Yet changed my life. Now this here to read and remind me. .
    Love and Blessings
    Amala Sheilagh

  19. vc on Feb 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Dear All,
    All of your opinions about relationship maybe right or wrong.But all you haven’t got there yet.To get out of six defiling objects from your mind.All of you are subjected to six dusts defiling senses which all of you are attracted to such as beauty,intelligent,smell,senses.Be honest to yourself and speak the truth.Don’t go and claim yourself you are the GOD and not attracted to anything and swear and curse others when you are now wearing the ‘Human Body’. If you think don’t like this world you can always calm your mind and return to the source,the Origin and achieve perfect enlightenment like the Buddha.If you think you like what you are doing,just go with the flow and don’t complain.

  20. Li Kim on Feb 25, 2012 at 5:23 am

    These quotes are true and real. Not the usual mambo jumbo you get in books and cards. Many of the quotes from Rinpoche brought back the sweet and fond memories of relationships for me. I am not bitter la but can say that I have become slightly disenchanted. I think that I will just enjoy the quotes and not think too much into relationships.

    “When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues.” – this applies to many I must say…

  21. Datuk May on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    The quote I like best is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty”. I totally agree with this and in my own view love is not confined to couples and family only but rather it is universal and to be practised unconditionally.

    Love is tough to give as it challenges our selfishness, ego etc etc that concocts most negative emotions in most people. Being as delusional as we are, we think we are in bliss when there is love.

    I totally disagree that Rinpoche is not an expert in relationships and love, if the above quote is what attracts me then it is true for me that Rinpoche is the only one person I know that truly gives love to every sentient being.

    Now that is tough to practise.

  22. Jean Ai on Feb 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    After reading this, putting it alongside the video Rinpoche sent to us (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLH6-P6rIv8), I gotta add to this post – never choose someone on the basis of their looks! It all fades with age, no matter how rich, poor, fat or skinny you are! And death comes to everyone, so how do you want to live your relationship? With anger, disharmony and bitterness, or do you want your relationship to be the cause of something bigger and better? Rinpoche always says some relationships drag people down, and others lead to better things…if yours is the former, time to stop being selfish and let go, both for your benefit and for your partner’s!

  23. vc on Feb 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Rinpoche is very lucky to have get out of samsara and not involve in opposite sex relationships.Everyone should think they are indeed lucky and have the privilege to left the home life and seek the Way.We can only see what is worldly and not transcendental.This life is not just about humanity but transcendental to the ultimate reality.Nirvana.

  24. Wee Liang on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:43 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you so much for the dharma talk last night. Also thank you very much for all the quotes on love and relationships. Its very enlightening, makes me reflect. My favourite quote is ‘The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you.’ This one is harddddddd.

    Wee Liang

  25. Any Loke on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Wow, is so true about what Rinpoche wrote. But, human is really selfish, sometimes, we never think that the problem of the relationship is actually created by oursleves. After all the teachings and Puja that I have done it really helped so much in all aspects.

  26. bengkooi on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these thought provoking quotes. My favourite is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty.”

    To share with those who have not had the fortune to hear one of Rinpoche’s talks about relationships… As Rinpoche has said many times, a dharma relationship is different from a secular relationship because we are not in it just for ourselves. When we enter a dharma relationship, we must be determined to make it last. We must be determined to make it work regardless of whatever problems come along. We cannot just try things out because we may hurt the other person and that is a big no no.

    Its good to be aware of these things, because there are people who jump into relationships or even dharma relationships unaware of what it really entails and the commitment that we must put in.

    Bottom line – dont hurt others.
    Bottom bottom line: be a monk/nun!

  27. Khoo HH on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for the sharing on love relationships.
    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness”
    How can we hurt a person if we truly love that person, and we know that the person also love us. I think “Selfishness” is the only explaination on this. A lot of time we are treating our partner good because we wanted to feel good, not because we want our partner to feel good. I have heard of this situation a lot of times from people around me. A guy wanted to bring his girlfriend for a nice dinner because he wanted to make his girlfriend happy. But he got angry with his girlfriend when she took a long time to makeup. Suppose to be a romantic dinner, ended up with a quarrel in the house. I will always think, what is the objective of this dinner? To not miss the reserved table, or to make your partner happy? Perhaps he thought that his effort of booking the table is greater than his partner. I think if a couple truly love each other, even a roadside stall will be a romantic dinner.

  28. SEreNa on Feb 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Thanks for Rinpoche sharing on some thoughts for love and relationships.

    We must always remember to share and communicate with our love partner for every challenges we face in life. You have make your choice to spend the rest of your life with the loved one. SO, Be responsible and respect to the loved one. Don’t be selfish as pain will arise to the loved one including youself.

  29. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is….

  30. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    “And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is”

  31. Uncle Eddie on Feb 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Is love all we need to make a successful and fulfilling life relationship? Obviously, not all love relationships are the “Life Partnership kind”. It is important to realise and recognise that, and be okay with that. We can learn so much from the experiences of past relationships, to change towards the better, to a more adaptable, improved and acceptable one for both partners. It is everyone’s goal to have the desire of finding a life partner who caters to one’s entire needs and satisfaction. We all want someone who looks good, always make us laugh, supports us, respect us and trusts us well. Before we can find that ‘someone’, we need to be that person – that includes accepting all faults and short comings of oneself and that of your life partner too. A healthy relationship, essentially, should have a good building up of respect, loyalty, trust and a good admiration for each other; more similar to a house solid basic foundation structure, where the more love and nurturance we put into it, is what makes it a happy home, and a successful and fulfilling life relationship in the years to come.

  32. Ash Ng on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Dear Rinpoche, You have given us some wonderful insights on having relationships with others. I especially agree with the few advises below;

    1) When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first.

    2) Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt.

    I feel these 2 major points encompass all the others and when we are REALLY ready after dealing with our deep seeded insecurities, comfortable and accepting ourselves then only we take the next step. Appreciate Your enlightening insights and You care for us with others. Will put in effort working on these as the essence of Dharma is compassion towards others and not hurting or harming them would be the first priority. Thus, working on oneself first is the key to happiness. Tashi delek

  33. Yvonne Yap on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche! this is a reminder , remind the things we know, but we always forgot.Because you care.

  34. abby on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Love and compassion is the greatest lesson in everyone’s life.
    Yes, Rinpoche may not be the expert, but yes, Rinpoche do care about everyone. And with this compassion, Rinpoche is the Love Guru 🙂

  35. tenzin llhamo on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    This is the one I like the most. Because of being dishonest, so many relationships are destroyed. How sad! But now that we understand, we must be better. Treat relationships with respect, humility and honesty.

    ‘In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time’

  36. Margaretlee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts and experiences you have encountered with the many stories you were told.

    I think responsibility, honesty, sincerity and intergrity apply to everything we do in our life, be it work or relationship.

    There is a saying that people only starts to know themselves when they are in a relationship, it is indeed true when we realise we always demand this and that from our partner and never gives back, a state of complete self absorption. relationship is about giving and not taking.

    I paticularly like this quote from Rinpoche : “When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche”

    Going to share this blog with many of my samsara friends…..

  37. yekyee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Each of Rinpoche is very logic and make sense. When we choose a relationship, must always our partner with real care and patient. No one is perfect. How can we go along with each other, tolerance is another good deed we need practice. I believe very strongly on it. My aunty friend always with me, it is not easy for two different character person live, eat, play, work together, need so much efforts and patient. I agreed. Thankyou for Rinpoche sharing.

  38. shivani on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I want to know a little about Karmic Connection.We meet people but they leave us yet we cannot earse them

  39. Jace Chong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing these very useful quotes.

    Relationship used to be something very hard for me to juggle in between love and selfishness. When I had quarrel with partner, I always not sure this is because I want him to be my way, or I want my partner to improve. And the definition of improvement is vary to different people.

    “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications. ”

    This is a very practical way. I should not focus on what I want, but what is best for our partner.

    Even Rinpoche didn’t go through all these, Rinpoche understand better than everyone else what should we practice in relationship. Salute to Rinpoche, as always!

  40. Han Siew Fong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    All the advices will sink into my mind. .. and have a better relationship with my partner

    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness.” Tsem Rinpoche

    i contemplated on the above and i do realize the meaning of the quote.

    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful post

  41. Nicholas on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Thanks for Rinpoche advice.

    Found that the teaching is not just for relationship but it is also applicable for anything we do in our life.

    It’s all about care. How much we want to do for others is how much we cares for others.
    We responsible for the relationship because no one can force us. We are the one choose to be and should go all the way. I like this! No point to regret on what we have not done to save the relationship because we can always be the one to take action first.

    It’s not about who love whom more than who suppose to take the first move, it’s how much you love, how much you appreciate and how far you want to go with your relationship.

    This is just applicable for everything in our life.

  42. kenny wong on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Again, thank you for you kind insights. We choose our partners ourselves and have to accept him/her for who she is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the whole. How we percieve and accept our patners is totally up to us, thus we control our own happiness in the relationship. But if we are not generous and cannot lose out in the relationship and must win all the time, we will definately be the one losing at the end…. being unhappy, unfulfilled and bitter.

    Your words of advice are so true and spot on Rinpoche.

  43. skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Dear Rinpoche, thank you very much for the good advises.

    “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the same expectation on yourself.”

    “Trying to put away, hiding, or avoiding relationship issues won’t make them go away. You need to talk over or be clear about it.”

    “Always bringing up and rehashing previous issues mean the issue doesn’t solve go away or it just mean you’re not letting go and keep holding on to it.”

    • skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

      Correction:
      “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the _different_ expectation on yourself.”

  44. Hui Keng on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    LOVE is in the air. Read on baby…How lucky Rinpoche giving advice around the clock! Rinpoche’s love is genuinely unconditional hence it survives all tests and challenges. We are pretty much lucky to have Rinpoche. We have sowed good seeds for this to happen and we must utilise fully given this opportunity. Rinpoche immensely love all of us, even more deeply than what our parents can do.

  45. Irene on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

    But what about a situation in which one partner dominates the whole family, and always expects to be bowed and scraped to. He always complains about how nobody does anything right (like he wants), and threatens to leave if we don’t shape up. I often wonder how much of this is due to his family background. (He grew up in an abusive environment.)

    Don’t get me wrong–he can be charming and generous when he wants to be, but sometimes I think he does it in order to manipulate people. (When we do what he wants, he praises them or gives them little gifts, otherwise he criticizes and sulks.) If things get too quiet, then he’s good at manufacturing drama (like claiming to have a mortal illness), and he just loves to gossip. But he doesn’t think that HE is doing any of this, according to him he’s just humbly following what is right (as he was taught). And somehow he always ends up being the center of attention.

    I’m probably making him sound like a monster, but that’s not right. He can be loyal and compassionate (he loves animals, and gives to charity) and is obviously very hard working and a very good manager. He has the potential to make a positive impact on the world. But we’re in this lopsided relationship with him, in which he gets to set all the conditions, and anyone who can’t accept that can just leave. (He’s alienated a lot of people over the years, although he tells it a different way–who knows what the truth is.) Anyway, Rinpoche, I’m sure you know people like that. What to do…?

    • mrs cheung on Feb 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      dear rinpoche, i also know someone similar to what irene has written here in her reply, plus more. he also flirts with younger women but his sick and old wife could do nothing to stop him. facing such a monster, she could only soar and sob over her misfortune. uneducated, unemployed, unwanted, old and sick. she has no where to run to. what to do…?

  46. freon on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    With folded hand, Thank you Guru

  47. tsemtulku on Feb 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Some thoughts on love and relationships..I am not the expert, but over the years I have to listen to alot of people and I came out with some of my own conclusions…

    • Sophia chung on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Dear Rinpoche,

      Thank you for your advice on relationship. It made me reflect on myself to improve tremendously..
      It was great pleasure to meet u in the gompa last nite. I feel very lucky to receive
      a dharma talk in person from you. Although shocking, It was priceless, the love and effort you put in for
      Your students. Thank you for taking the time to pay us the visit.

      Sophia

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I’ve created this section for all of you to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings about whatever interests you.

Everyone has a different perspective, so this section is for you.

Tsem Rinpoche


SCHEDULED CHAT SESSIONS / 中文聊天室时间表

THURSDAY
10 - 11PM (GMT +8)
5 - 6AM (PST)
星期五
9 - 10PM (GMT +8)
4 - 5AM (PST)
(除了每个月的第一个星期五)
SATURDAY
11AM - 12PM (GMT +8)
FRIDAY 7 - 8PM (PST)
SUNDAY
9:30 - 10PM (GMT +8)
4:30 - 5AM (PST)

UPCOMING TOPICS FOR APRIL / 四月份讨论主题

Please come and join in the chat for a fun time and support. See you all there.


Blog Chat Etiquette

These are some simple guidelines to make the blog chat room a positive, enjoyable and enlightening experience for everyone. Please note that as this is a chat room, we chat! Do not flood the chat room, or post without interacting with others.

EXPAND
Be friendly

Remember that these are real people you are chatting with. They may have different opinions to you and come from different cultures. Treat them as you would face to face, and respect their opinions, and they will treat you the same.

Be Patient

Give the room a chance to answer you. Patience is a virtue. And if after awhile, people don't respond, perhaps they don't know the answer or they did not see your question. Do ask again or address someone directly. Do not be offended if people do not or are unable to respond to you.

Be Relevant

This is the blog of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche. Please respect this space. We request that all participants here are respectful of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche and his organisation, Kechara.

Be polite

Avoid the use of language or attitudes which may be offensive to others. If someone is disrespectful to you, ignore them instead of arguing with them.

Please be advised that anyone who contravenes these guidelines may be banned from the chatroom. Banning is at the complete discretion of the administrator of this blog. Should anyone wish to make an appeal or complaint about the behaviour of someone in the chatroom, please copy paste the relevant chat in an email to us at [email protected] and state the date and time of the respective conversation.

Please let this be a conducive space for discussions, both light and profound.

KECHARA FOREST RETREAT PROGRESS UPDATES

Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.

Noticeboard

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  • Jason
    Thursday, Apr 27. 2017 03:07 AM
    This year Wesak Day fall on 10 of May. This day is very special and meaningful to me because I will visit Kechara Forest Retreat(KFR) to join some meritorious event there.
    For me, Wesak is a day to commemorate Buddha Sakyamuni in three aspect( Birth , Enlightened, Nirwana).
    While we celebrate Wesak, we must remind ourselves to learn from Buddha teachings and practice it in order to gain attainment.
    Thanks Rinpoche and Pastor Seng Piow for sharing in order to create more understanding on Wesak Day.

    Jason

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/wesak-day-special-on-rtm-2.html
  • Stella Cheang
    Wednesday, Apr 26. 2017 06:10 PM
    OMG! This is very touching. To see a doggie who never left go of his owner in spite of death. Way more powerful than many who proclaimed “till death do us part.” Just like the human, not all doggies are as loyal as this tear-jerking pet, but I truly believe almost all doggies offer unconditional love to the person who feeds and cares for them. Even when they are stray animals. There was a stray dog who will run two streets from the entrance of the “Taman” until the car stops in front of the house, just to greet me. You can imagine the warm and conviction in my heart that these beings are more than capable of loving than many of us, human! Thank you for this lovely sharing. I miss my doggie, Sherab.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/faithful-dog-chases-deceased-owner.html
  • Stella Cheang
    Wednesday, Apr 26. 2017 06:00 PM
    Thank you, Pastor Seng Piow, for this amazing sharing. There is no doubt about the ability of our Guru, His Eminence the 25th Tsem Tulku Rinpoche. His incarnations have been compassionate and taken rebirth to return and spread the dharma so that sentient beings can benefit and learn some dharma in our short life.

    We shall never doubt our Guru; but must see that He is one with our Yidam and Protector, an attained being. Even if our Guru does not demonstrate clairvoyance abilities, we must never contest our Guru, for he holds the key (dharma) that can liberate us from eternal suffering in samsara.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/personal-attendant/the-miracles-of-tsem-rinpoche-true-story-1-2.html
  • Stella Cheang
    Wednesday, Apr 26. 2017 05:50 PM
    Thank you, Pastor Seng Piow, for the illustrated miracle story on how Rinpoche guided Cynthia and Marici away from danger through protector’s practice. The unseen exist, whether we like it or not. Some of them are malicious and have the affinity or karma with some of us. Hence they can cause harm and disturbance. By engaging in Protectors’ practice like Dorje Shugden and Setrap that have been practiced by the high lamas of the Gelug school of Tibetan Buddhism, we are protected and guarded against harm.

    Rinpoche is compassionate and only want the best for us. His teachings are not meant to show off the power of the divines but offer us a way out from our desperate samsara conundrum that binds us from engaging in deeper spiritual practice. Rinpoche always teaches us to focus on mind transformation and Tsongkhapa practice. How fortunate we are to have met Rinpoche in this lifetime. We must not let this rare and precious opportunity go to waste.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/personal-attendant/the-miracles-of-tsem-rinpoche-true-story-12.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Apr 26. 2017 04:30 PM
    Miracles do happen,when we have faith and trust in our Guru.What is important is to follow Rinpoche’s advice and do as instructed by our Guru to clear the osbtacles all the way.Angie and Herry were so fortunate to have meet Rinpoche.Its because of Rinpoche ‘s compassion and caring for his student Angie’s life was saved.Infact Rinpoche has helped many people through his intervention, advice and instructions.
    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor Loh Seng Piow for sharing miracles stories which i enjoyed reading.
    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/personal-attendant/the-miracles-of-tsem-rinpoche-true-story-2.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Apr 26. 2017 02:45 PM
    WOW….interesting a miracles true story. Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor Loh Seng Piow for sharing.Reciting mantras by family members and doing 20 pujas done at the monastery to help the baby. These proved that pujas, which have been done for hundreds of years in the monasteries are very powerful methods for us to overcome difficulties, create huge amounts of merit and for protection, good health and long life.This show us how powerful pujas can help us when we have trust and faith in our Guru.And with Rinpoche divination,the baby was born and now a healthy boy.
    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/personal-attendant/the-miracles-of-tsem-rinpoche-true-story-1-2.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Apr 26. 2017 12:47 PM
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these powerful teachings.Its a privilege
    to do Dharma work to benefits other,do it with motivation and a good attitude when engaging ourselves It will be guide line for me.When we serve others to do Dharma work together at Kechara Forest Retreat ,we will improve ourself , purify our negative karma and to benefit others too.I will be sponsoring to the healings bricks soon and i will cherish every moment in supporting KFR.
    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/dharma-work-attitude-tdl.html
  • Lin Mun
    Wednesday, Apr 26. 2017 11:06 AM
    Bigfoot is just another beings living in this world although not commonly seen and live in the deep jungle in high mountains. There were many evidences that people from many parts of the world sighted this beings. Whatever shape they are I think importantly we are all sharing this world and therefore need to have mutual respect and not intervene each others.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/its-in-the-scriptures-they-exist.html
  • Alice Tay
    Tuesday, Apr 25. 2017 04:26 PM
    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor Adeline sharing this interesting post about Bodhidharma, a great master favoured meditation and introduced the Lankavatara Sutra to Chinese Buddhism.

    Here are a few points I have learned from this post:
    1. Bodhidharma had strong imprints of Dharma from the past and therefore he is interested in Buddha’s teachings and show his great wisdom. at a very young age.
    2. His strong guru devotion and determination in learning and spreading the dharma based on meditation though he confronted with difficulties such as Emperor Wu Di was not impressed by his teachings, being ostracized and rejected and lived as a beggar for many months. Notwithstanding, he continued and never give up to practice meditation in complete silence for nine years in cave wall when he was not accepted by Shaolin Monastery at the beginning .
    3. When Bodhidharma was allowed enter to the monastery, he had put a lot of efforts to help the monks in improving their physical body as well as their mind through the meditation. Then, Bodhidharma continued to develop a system of 18 dynamic tension exercises which were printed as Yi Gin Ching (Changing Muscle/Tendon Classic) in 550 CE. It is known as the Luohan (arhat) 18 Hand Movements today which serves as the basis of both Chinese Temple Boxing and the Shaolin Martial Arts.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/bodhidharma-the-founder-of-gongfu.html
  • Stella Cheang
    Tuesday, Apr 25. 2017 04:10 PM
    Thank you, Grace, for sharing with us the many tips on how to care for and maintain our hair. Personal grooming is important because when we care for our appearance, we are respecting the people who have to deal with us. Caring for our hair, making sure that it is neat and clean should be something we need to take care of since young as it is part of personal grooming. The key is not to be attached to our body and outer-images, that results in spending much time and resources just to make ourselves look good.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/guest-contributors/how-much-do-you-know-about-hair.html
  • Alice Tay
    Tuesday, Apr 25. 2017 03:00 PM
    Thank you for sharing these wonderful and significant photos showed that Kechara Pastors’ tireless efforts to bring dharma to many others and do the blessings whenever is necessary.

    Basically, the pastorship role was conceptualized by our precious guru, H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, to preserve the Dharma and to give laypeople an opportunity to commit to benefiting others. Kechara Pastors are fully dedicated and selflessly serving others especially in spiritual growth and therefore this is good for us to support the Pastors so that they can focus and spend more of their time and effort to serve others and most importantly Buddhist teachings can be spread and shared to many others. The supports to Pastors including food, lodging, transportation, items necessary for their work, such as ritual items or spiritual gifts for those in need and many others. (If you are interested to know more about Kechara Pastors, please have a good read at http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/kechara-13-depts/support-the-kechara-pastors.html)

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/10-amazing-house-blessings-by-kechara-pastors.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Tuesday, Apr 25. 2017 02:13 PM
    Its such a great blessing for all of us to hear the holy voice recordings of H.H Kyabje Zong Rinpoche a great master..His profound teachings ,got to take seroiusly,more as an important advice on Dorje Shugden’s practice.H.H Kyabje Zong Rinpoche’s explaination was very clear before any of the practitioner’s commitment and receive sogtae.They must keep the lineage practice and teachings no matter what ever happen.
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing with us on the important advice by a great master.
    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/kyabje-zong-rinpoches-advice-on-dorje-shugdens-practice.html
  • Lin Mun
    Tuesday, Apr 25. 2017 11:50 AM
    Thank you Pastor Han Nee for your sharing your thoughts and review about the book “Be Happy” written by Rinpoche. It is indeed not easy to be happy as we all have various expectation in every situation and people.

    We may think having a big house, lots of cash and good career is happiness but this is the wrong perception. Being happy is not about material and everything about ourselves. It is only when we can do more for others and focus out that we gain happiness. I never realised this until I joined Kechara. I think we have such a fixed mindset of what happiness is and when our expectation is not met, we are unhappy.

    Rinpoche has pointed out many ways for us to rectify our thoughts and methods to be happy. Now it is for us to take initiative to change and transform our mind if we want to be happy.

    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor Han Nee for this article.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/be-happy.html
  • Lin Mun
    Monday, Apr 24. 2017 12:30 PM
    Many people do not believe in reincarnation and only relates it to certain religion such as Hinduism and Buddhism. However, there were many instances and signs that proven reincarnation exist. As Buddhist we will believe in reincarnation and karma. It is by understanding that everything has its cause and effect that we should learn to live life in the correct attitude and mindset. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this interesting articles to remind us of karma and the importance of doing dharma practise.

    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/interesting-signs-of-reincarnation.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, Apr 23. 2017 08:29 PM
    Thank you Rinpoche for your teachings.
    Always be generous and kind in what ever we could do even its little help.It’s the little things in life that bring the greatest happiness. Its between us and our Buddha ,so we would not bother what the receipient thinks and say of us. What ever was said ,should not deter our motivation to do Dharma work.
    (It will change people’s lives in one way or another. It will change your life for the better.)….well said by Rinpoche.
    http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/its-not-between-you-and-the-recipient.html

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Messages from Rinpoche

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CREDITS

Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Justin Ripley, Pastor Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Writer: Pastor Loh Seng Piow
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

What Am I Writing Now

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  Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch

The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
Holy Lady Buddha Vajra Yogini\'s blessing can be found when we decide to focus out to others instead of in to only ourselves.
~ Tsem Tulku Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
Holy Lady Buddha Vajra Yogini's blessing can be found when we decide to focus out to others instead of in to only ourselves. ~ Tsem Tulku Rinpoche
His Holiness Vajradhara Kyabje Zong Rinpoche of Gaden Monastery who is the refuge of countless, gives a clear explanation of Dorje Shugden. One is able to hear his holy voice and translation by Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen! Please see here and share: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=122352
2 weeks ago
His Holiness Vajradhara Kyabje Zong Rinpoche of Gaden Monastery who is the refuge of countless, gives a clear explanation of Dorje Shugden. One is able to hear his holy voice and translation by Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen! Please see here and share: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=122352
: This picture says it all. Click on it to enlarge and read and please share.
2 weeks ago
: This picture says it all. Click on it to enlarge and read and please share.
This is a simple chart showing the three main psychic channels used in tantric meditations to control the winds, raise tummo (fire energy), gain higher consciousness and insight and also for gaining siddhis. These channels are used in meditations for controlling the mind, when the mind ejects from the body (phowa) and one\'s death. These three channels are very important. Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
This is a simple chart showing the three main psychic channels used in tantric meditations to control the winds, raise tummo (fire energy), gain higher consciousness and insight and also for gaining siddhis. These channels are used in meditations for controlling the mind, when the mind ejects from the body (phowa) and one's death. These three channels are very important. Tsem Rinpoche
I think my cute doggie Oser is actually Tintin\'s dog Snowy!
3 weeks ago
I think my cute doggie Oser is actually Tintin's dog Snowy!
Great Masters of Gaden Shartse Monastery. From left to right: His Eminence Kensur Jampa Yeshe Rinpoche, His Holiness Sharpa Choeje Jetsun Lobsang Nyima, H.E. Kyabje Zemey Rinpoche, H.E. Kyabje Lati Rinpoche, His Holiness 101st Gaden Tripa throne holder Jetsun Lungrik Namgyal.
3 weeks ago
Great Masters of Gaden Shartse Monastery. From left to right: His Eminence Kensur Jampa Yeshe Rinpoche, His Holiness Sharpa Choeje Jetsun Lobsang Nyima, H.E. Kyabje Zemey Rinpoche, H.E. Kyabje Lati Rinpoche, His Holiness 101st Gaden Tripa throne holder Jetsun Lungrik Namgyal.
 Left to right: Dharma boy, Mumu boy and Oser girl. The three of them are my beautiful and loved Schnauzer dogs. They loved looking through the window to see traffic, people and movement. They loved the smells that drifted through their little noses. I love seeing the three of them together like this. I love them. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Left to right: Dharma boy, Mumu boy and Oser girl. The three of them are my beautiful and loved Schnauzer dogs. They loved looking through the window to see traffic, people and movement. They loved the smells that drifted through their little noses. I love seeing the three of them together like this. I love them. Tsem Rinpoche
Little Mumu boy...he loved balloons. When he saw them, he wanted to get close and perhaps bite them. Cute. I love this picture of Mumu reaching for the balloons. He was young and healthy! This picture captures his energy, enthusiasm, curiosity and high energy. I love this picture of him chasing the balloons. His pictures are always so nice....He was not a pet but family to me. I love him tremendously and always will. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Little Mumu boy...he loved balloons. When he saw them, he wanted to get close and perhaps bite them. Cute. I love this picture of Mumu reaching for the balloons. He was young and healthy! This picture captures his energy, enthusiasm, curiosity and high energy. I love this picture of him chasing the balloons. His pictures are always so nice....He was not a pet but family to me. I love him tremendously and always will. Tsem Rinpoche
Little Mumu boy and myself.. He was not a pet but family to me. I love him tremendously and always will. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Little Mumu boy and myself.. He was not a pet but family to me. I love him tremendously and always will. Tsem Rinpoche
2017-His Holiness the 101st Gaden Tripa, Jetsun Lungrik Namgyal is doing well and 90 years old. His Holiness Lungrik Namgyal is a powerful master of sutra and tantra and practitioner of Dorje Shugden. Currently residing in France.
3 weeks ago
2017-His Holiness the 101st Gaden Tripa, Jetsun Lungrik Namgyal is doing well and 90 years old. His Holiness Lungrik Namgyal is a powerful master of sutra and tantra and practitioner of Dorje Shugden. Currently residing in France.
One of the most sacred statues of Avalokitesvara made of sandalwood housed in Lhasa, Tibet. He has shown miracles also. Every pilgrim wishes to make offerings to this Lord of Compassion.
3 weeks ago
One of the most sacred statues of Avalokitesvara made of sandalwood housed in Lhasa, Tibet. He has shown miracles also. Every pilgrim wishes to make offerings to this Lord of Compassion.
 Sacred Avalokitesvara statue in Nepal. Thousands come to worship this special Buddha as it has conferred wishes in the past.
3 weeks ago
Sacred Avalokitesvara statue in Nepal. Thousands come to worship this special Buddha as it has conferred wishes in the past.
Tsem Rinpoche\'s Vajra Yogini statue and offerings
3 weeks ago
Tsem Rinpoche's Vajra Yogini statue and offerings
Two of my teachers from Gaden Shartse Monastery in South India. Left side is Most Venerable Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen whom I lived with for 8 years in Los Angeles where his centre Thubten Dhargye Ling is located. On the right is the abbot emeritus H.E. Kyabje Lati Rinpoche the scholar and yogi. I was very fortunate to have them in my life and learn so much dharma from them. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Two of my teachers from Gaden Shartse Monastery in South India. Left side is Most Venerable Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen whom I lived with for 8 years in Los Angeles where his centre Thubten Dhargye Ling is located. On the right is the abbot emeritus H.E. Kyabje Lati Rinpoche the scholar and yogi. I was very fortunate to have them in my life and learn so much dharma from them. Tsem Rinpoche
 It is so wonderful to be kind to people, be caring, feed them, make sure they are healthy and share dharma if they are interested with them for their future. But simply to be nice to others is worth getting up and being alive...otherwise why be alive to hurt/use/distrust and hate others? No point living that way..must change that..... It is nice to live our lives to benefit others and be patient even if we have been hurt before because by caring we can heal the hurt and \'defeat\' the ones that hurt us because we don\'t become bitter..... Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
It is so wonderful to be kind to people, be caring, feed them, make sure they are healthy and share dharma if they are interested with them for their future. But simply to be nice to others is worth getting up and being alive...otherwise why be alive to hurt/use/distrust and hate others? No point living that way..must change that..... It is nice to live our lives to benefit others and be patient even if we have been hurt before because by caring we can heal the hurt and 'defeat' the ones that hurt us because we don't become bitter..... Tsem Rinpoche
Tsem Rinpoche\'s heritage in China. Must read: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=120499
3 weeks ago
Tsem Rinpoche's heritage in China. Must read: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=120499
Thank you Buddhist Pastor Chia for sharing your story on how you met His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche over 20 years ago. We can learn much from your story.~Admin  Please read: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=116928
3 weeks ago
Thank you Buddhist Pastor Chia for sharing your story on how you met His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche over 20 years ago. We can learn much from your story.~Admin Please read: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=116928
Mumu boy is incredibly photogenic. He is beyond cute. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Mumu boy is incredibly photogenic. He is beyond cute. Tsem Rinpoche
 (left to right) Rabten Tulku, Gonsar Rinpoche, Gyume Kensur Rinpoche, Trijang Rinpoche, H.H. Gaden Trisur Rinpoche (France)
4 weeks ago
(left to right) Rabten Tulku, Gonsar Rinpoche, Gyume Kensur Rinpoche, Trijang Rinpoche, H.H. Gaden Trisur Rinpoche (France)
Beautiful 200 roses arrived today for me as a gift from Su Ming. Very kind and thoughtful of her as usual. Tsem Rinpoche
4 weeks ago
Beautiful 200 roses arrived today for me as a gift from Su Ming. Very kind and thoughtful of her as usual. Tsem Rinpoche
It\'s good to be with kind and sincere people.
4 weeks ago
It's good to be with kind and sincere people.
If we are kind, we lose less of ourselves-Tsem Rinpoche
4 weeks ago
If we are kind, we lose less of ourselves-Tsem Rinpoche
My Mumu boy didn\'t want to eat. Eating is not one of his favorite activities throughout his life. So I talked to him to let him know why he needs to eat and keep his strength up when this photo was taken. He was listening intently and after my talk with him, he ate. Tsem Rinpoche
4 weeks ago
My Mumu boy didn't want to eat. Eating is not one of his favorite activities throughout his life. So I talked to him to let him know why he needs to eat and keep his strength up when this photo was taken. He was listening intently and after my talk with him, he ate. Tsem Rinpoche
This is so true. Click to enlarge and understand more about unpleasant people.
4 weeks ago
This is so true. Click to enlarge and understand more about unpleasant people.
This mahasiddha Kukkuripa is easy to identify as he is accompanied by a small dog whom he loved very much.
1 month ago
This mahasiddha Kukkuripa is easy to identify as he is accompanied by a small dog whom he loved very much.
Mumu taking a rest in the turquoise room. Over the years, I always feel very satisfied when I see him covered with a blanket, safe and sleeping. I always wanted to make sure he was safe from harm, illness and distress. I wanted him to have a happy and loved life. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
Mumu taking a rest in the turquoise room. Over the years, I always feel very satisfied when I see him covered with a blanket, safe and sleeping. I always wanted to make sure he was safe from harm, illness and distress. I wanted him to have a happy and loved life. Tsem Rinpoche
I wrapped my little Mumu boy up in my blanket and propped him up on my bed. He didn\'t move or wiggle and just looked at me. He is one funny entertaining little guy. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
I wrapped my little Mumu boy up in my blanket and propped him up on my bed. He didn't move or wiggle and just looked at me. He is one funny entertaining little guy. Tsem Rinpoche
March 2017-Coaxing my little Mumu boy to eat his meal. He was not well and therefore not hungry. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
March 2017-Coaxing my little Mumu boy to eat his meal. He was not well and therefore not hungry. Tsem Rinpoche
Click on picture to enlarge and see what Milarepa says. Profound.
1 month ago
Click on picture to enlarge and see what Milarepa says. Profound.
We are always trying to get somewhere, try something new, find some friends, get some entertainment and in the end we end up in the same place. Time to really practice Dharma seriously and stop wasting time we don\'t have. ~Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
We are always trying to get somewhere, try something new, find some friends, get some entertainment and in the end we end up in the same place. Time to really practice Dharma seriously and stop wasting time we don't have. ~Tsem Rinpoche
March 20, 2017-Mumu is just so adorable with his bright eyes.
1 month ago
March 20, 2017-Mumu is just so adorable with his bright eyes.
More and more people inviting Lord Dorje Shugden home to connect with on their shrines. I am so happy to see this as it will benefit them and their families so much. That is the purpose to be alive which is to benefit others as much as possible. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
More and more people inviting Lord Dorje Shugden home to connect with on their shrines. I am so happy to see this as it will benefit them and their families so much. That is the purpose to be alive which is to benefit others as much as possible. Tsem Rinpoche
His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche is a good sport watching his students do Halloween drag costumes for a charity show. Funny!
1 month ago
His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche is a good sport watching his students do Halloween drag costumes for a charity show. Funny!
His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche is a good sport watching his students do Halloween drag costumes for a charity show. Funny!
1 month ago
His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche is a good sport watching his students do Halloween drag costumes for a charity show. Funny!
The Japanese are very innovative. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
The Japanese are very innovative. Tsem Rinpoche
Read this as it will be interesting
1 month ago
Read this as it will be interesting
Recite this before any meal or drinks for blessings of abundance. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
Recite this before any meal or drinks for blessings of abundance. Tsem Rinpoche
This sacred statue of Buddha is in Nepal brought originally from Tibet and has spoken on many occasions. Very blessed to see this holy image and keep a picture...bless you always. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
This sacred statue of Buddha is in Nepal brought originally from Tibet and has spoken on many occasions. Very blessed to see this holy image and keep a picture...bless you always. Tsem Rinpoche
I love Mumu boy tremendously. We went through so much together for so many years. You are a great being to be with. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
I love Mumu boy tremendously. We went through so much together for so many years. You are a great being to be with. Tsem Rinpoche
Dear everyone, I am sharing this beautiful and modern altar to Dorje Shugden in Malaysia. I am glad to see more and more people creating sacred spaces. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
Dear everyone, I am sharing this beautiful and modern altar to Dorje Shugden in Malaysia. I am glad to see more and more people creating sacred spaces. Tsem Rinpoche
Lhamo Karmo, a female buddha form visualized above the crown of one\'s head at the time of death, to encourage consciousness to leave the body via the crown aperture. From my book \"The Female Buddhas.\"- Glenn Mullin
2 months ago
Lhamo Karmo, a female buddha form visualized above the crown of one's head at the time of death, to encourage consciousness to leave the body via the crown aperture. From my book "The Female Buddhas."- Glenn Mullin
The Tibetan female tulku Dorje Pakmo, from a fresco on the wall of the Dorje Pakmo monastery (Samding) in Tibet, near the Turquoise Lake. In Tibet the Dorje Pakmo was ranked with the Dalai Lama, Panchen Lama and Sakya Trizin as the four highest lamas in the country.-from Glenn Mullin
2 months ago
The Tibetan female tulku Dorje Pakmo, from a fresco on the wall of the Dorje Pakmo monastery (Samding) in Tibet, near the Turquoise Lake. In Tibet the Dorje Pakmo was ranked with the Dalai Lama, Panchen Lama and Sakya Trizin as the four highest lamas in the country.-from Glenn Mullin
Dharma boy, Mumu boy and Oser girl checking out the scene..cute
2 months ago
Dharma boy, Mumu boy and Oser girl checking out the scene..cute
My Dharma boy has such a cute expression here. He is a good boy!
2 months ago
My Dharma boy has such a cute expression here. He is a good boy!
February 9,2017-My Mumu boy and Oser girl are just relaxing together..super cute
3 months ago
February 9,2017-My Mumu boy and Oser girl are just relaxing together..super cute
Click on the picture to enlarge and see what Suzy from Hawaii commented on the Dorje Shugden issue after much research. She is very candid and honest. Refreshing. Original is posted here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl-4lIwxph4
3 months ago
Click on the picture to enlarge and see what Suzy from Hawaii commented on the Dorje Shugden issue after much research. She is very candid and honest. Refreshing. Original is posted here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl-4lIwxph4
This is a good one to read
3 months ago
This is a good one to read
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ASK A PASTOR


Ask the Pastors

A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

Scroll down and click on "View All Questions" to view archived questions.

  • April 20, 2017 10:45
    Ronnie asked: Dear Rinpoche and Pastors, I'm studying abroad and very far away from home, seeking guidance and advice as I have no one else I can talk to about this. Please read with an open mind, I don't know where else to go for help. I'm pregnant and it's an unplanned pregnancy. I'm stuck between keeping it or letting it go. I'm young and having a child at my age in the society we live in now would be considered taboo. The father of the child thinks I should let it go because it may cause a setback to both our careers and cause major family issues. He thinks we aren't ready to raise a child especially since we're both still in university and his parents think badly of me even though they've never met me or tried to get to know me. I'm sure no one would ever have the heart to take away a heartbeat but it seems like it isn't the right time to have a child now and if we did go through with it, the child probably won't be able to have the best things life can offer looking at where we are now in terms of finance and maturity. I'm lost, confused and unsure what the right thing to do is now. Any advice at all would be helpful right now. Thank you so very much for taking time to read my story.
    pastor answered: Dear Ronnie, I’m sorry to read that you are going through this situation. I can understand that this situation is tough to go through. You are always more than welcome to come here to ask questions. May I suggest that you talk to either someone in your family or your friends to help you come to an appropriate solution? This is because, what you feel, what you are going through, will change from time to time and you would need someone to talk to, someone that you can lean on through this situation you are facing. Depending on where you are in the world, professional help can also be sought to help you make a decision, which will be the best option for you seeking help. From a Buddhist perspective, the taking of a life is not considered a positive act, therefore those on the Buddhist path, would normally abstain taking a life if possible. However, that being said, one must always weigh the decision oneself. Everything we do in life, necessarily involves karma both positive and negative. That is why Buddhists try to overcome samsara in general. Your situation is complicated because you are abroad, but if possible you should really open up to someone you are close to in order to help you through making this decision on a personal basis. When you talk to someone, whom you are able to express yourself more, you may able to come to better decision that is right for you. There may be other options open to you if you seek help. I personally know women who have been in similar situations. One of these women, let the child go and the other went through the pregnancy and then gave the child up for adoption. You may or may not have thought of this option, but it is one that could be open to you, depending on where in the world you are. Any decision we make in life, however big or small it may seem, has far reaching consequences whether in this life, or in future lives. This is just a part and parcel of life within samsara. However, we should weigh the decisions we make clearly given the situation we are in. We cannot always do this weighing ourselves, but need to talk about our options with others we can rely on such a friends, family or professionals. You should consider doing this, which will help you greatly emotionally, and may give you the grounding you need to make the correct decision for you. I hope this helps.
  • April 19, 2017 04:57
    Dongho asked: What is a nyung ne practice? According to Lama Zopa Rinpoche, it's a purification sadhana. However, what are the instructions for this? I'm guessing it's to Chenrezig, but how does it work? Also, from what I have read, Vajrasattva practice is only for broken vows while Akshobhya is for regular misdeeds. Does that mean one has to take the Akshobhya practice to purify bad karma from this life and previous instead of Vajrasattva? As for the purification practices, are some like Vajrasattva and Chenrezig only to purify the bad karma and let it come quickly or is it to prevent it from coming? I am confused in it. As for signs, I recited a mantra of White Yangchenma that a Sakya lama, Lama Kunga Thartse Rinpoche, gave me with the Sakya visualizations I read on, and after one mala, I heard some lady call my Korean name even though no one in my neighborhood knows of my name and my family members weren't in the area. What does this mean?
    pastor answered: Dear Dongho, Thank you for your questions, it’s nice to see you back here again. Nyung Ne practice is a purification practice that centres around Chenrezig. It is a very beneficial practice that stems from a holy nun named Gelong-ma Palmo. It is a two and a half day practice that can be repeated many times over and over again to intensify the purification and build a closer relationship with Chenrezig. As well as its purification aspect, the practice is known to generate vast amount of merit, and also compassion, as the practice centres around Chenrezig, the Buddha of compassion. The practice involves taking the eight Mahayana precepts for the duration, fasting, meditating, prostrating and praying. The practice usually entails empowerment into the practice of Chenrezig, therefore the exact meditations, prayers can only be explained to those who have the empowerment. Vajrasattva practice is not necessarily only for repairing broken vows, etc. That’s why it is advised that you engage in the practice at the end of the day, to repair any vows that you may have broken during that day, as well as stopping any negative karma you created that day from multiplying. This would entail reciting the mantra 21 times, together with the four opponent powers. However, if you engage in this practice more intensely, it definitely has the capability to purify all sorts of karma. That is the reason why in Ngondro, or preliminary practices one engages in before tantra, the practice of 100,000 Vajrasattva mantra recitation is an integral part. You can read more about Vajrasattva and his practice here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/an-important-purification-practice.html. Within purification practices, some of the karma will be purified completely, so you do not feel its effects at all, but when purifying other karma you will need to feel its effects somehow. For example if you have the karma to be in a car accident and get seriously injured, and you are engaging in any practice, but especially the purification practice, since you have purified most of the karma, you will only experience being in a very minor car accident, with only very superficial injuries. Therefore, in this case, the karma has been purified to the extent that it does not affect you as much, but you still need to feel part of its effect. In regards to any signs that you receive which engaging in the practices given to you by one of your specific gurus, you should report the happenings to that particular guru. He will be able to give you more of an accurate answer, as it may be related to the particular practice that he gave to you. I hope this helps. Thank you.
  • April 17, 2017 07:06
    Thomas asked: Dear Pastors, When a serkyem set has been used so much and one is ready to get rid of it and replace it with a new one. What is a respecful mode of disposal?
    pastor answered: Dear Thomas, Thank you for your question. Your question shows that you have a lot of respect for offering items, which is very good. If possible, you should try to repair the item if within your means, and doing so make embellishments to make it a better offering item, which can still be used. If this is not possible, then you should dispose of the item with a good motivation. You should think that this item has been used to make offerings to the enlightened beings, but now that it is broken or unusable, you are going to dispose of it, and replace it with a new one. Since it itself is not a receptacle of energies of the enlightened beings, such as a statue, tsa tsa or thangka, it does not require a special dissolution before being disposed of. However since it was used to make offerings, it still requires some form of respect when disposing, and this comes from one’s motivation and the way in which you dispose of it. Usually, when disposing of items in this way, make the motivation that you have used it and that it is now time to dispose of it, and replace it with a new one. When you do this you can dispose of it in a respectful manner. For example, if you are going to throw it away, you do not simply open the trash can and throw it in. You wrap it up in something, like a bag or newspaper and dispose of it respectfully. Another method you can dispose of it is to recycle the object, if the material it is made from can be recycled. That way you are more conscious of the environment as well. I hope this explanation helps. Thank you.
  • April 16, 2017 22:38
    Curious asked: Dear pastors In a recent youtube video something like paying respect to deceased ones, pastor Nirel Patel explained that merits are like the interest and good karma is like the principal sum. So merits always regenerate themselves and hence do not get used up but good karma is like the principal sum so it gets used up. So my question is what are practices that generate merit? And can we turn a mundane daily activity into a meritorious one? Maybe can you provide an example?
    pastor answered: Dear Curious, Thank you for your question. First, to clarify a point, in regards to good karma, you are right, it is like a principal sum in a bank account, but you take away from it when you experience something good in your life, and you add to it when you do good deeds. Merit on the other hand, once accrued never diminishes, therefore when something is based on merit, it is based on the energies of this never diminishing sum, which you could say is like interest. In short, the principal sum when talking about karma is always added to and subtracted from. However, when talking about merit, once you have it, there is no way to destroy it, you will always benefit from it. There are various ways to explain how to generate merit. I will explain a way that I find easiest to understand. In normal life, when we go about performing any sort of activity, be it ‘good’ or ‘bad’ we do so out of ignorance of the true nature of existence, and it is usually self-motivated. For example, we work our entire lives to generate monetary income, so that we have enough money, resources, and materials goods to be comfortable. This is self-motivated, but it is the accepted way the world works these days, and is part and parcel of being bound to samsaric life. On the other hand, the act of merit making can be categorised into three parts: i) motivation, ii) the act itself, and iii) dedication. Let’s start with motivation, when engaging in various virtuous acts, we should have the motivation that by engaging in the act, we have the motivation to alleviate the suffering of someone else, and that may we gain enlightenment so that we can benefit them in the future. The second is the act itself. The third is to dedicate the energy of the virtuous act to gaining enlightenment. These three are what make merit. This may be a little confusing, so let me give an example: giving help to a homeless person. Whereas in ordinary life, this is something praised as a very good deed, it does not create merit without motivation and dedication. In order for this to become merit, one must set the motivation that one is giving help to the homeless free of the eight worldly concerns, to alleviate their suffering and also making the motivation that you will achieve enlightenment for the sake of the person or people you are helping. Then after you have helped them, you dedicate the energy created to the spiritual journey towards full enlightenment to help all sentient beings, while at the same time benefiting as many sentient beings as possible on the way there. This transforms the act into not only a virtuous action but also one that generates merit. On the other hand, if you were to help the homeless without these, you are creating good karma, which although beneficial, keeps you bound to existence within samsara. As it is the goal of Buddhist practice to overcome the cycle of samsara, a Buddhist would want to generate merit instead of good karma. I hope this explanation helps. Thank you.
  • April 13, 2017 11:38
    D.A. asked: If Begtse Chan is not from Mongolia, what are his real origins or story exactly? And which lamas offer his empowerment? As for Manjushri Nagarakshasa, which lamas specifically offer his empowerment and practice?
    pastor answered: Dear D.A. Thank you for your question. Begtse, is also known as Chamsing, or Jamsaran in Mongolian. As mentioned in an earlier sharing with someone who also asked a question about Begtse, the practiced was introduced to Tibet from India by the translator Nyen Lotsawa, and is considered one of the main protectors of the Hayagriva cycle of tantras. According to the scriptures that derive from the Sakya tradition, who incorporated the practice from the translators, and in which tradition Begtse became a very important protector, Begtse in a previous life was born many eons ago. In that particular life, he was born as the younger prince in a royal family. His name was Drag Gye, and his older brother’s name was Drag Den. Over time both princes developed differing religious beliefs, to the point where they could not get along with each as they both held their own religious views strongly. As was the custom during that time, they decided to settle their differences through logical debate, with the loser having to convert to the winner’s religion. This custom was also prevalent in ancient India, and there are many stories of such debates occurring between the great masters of the past and those of other faiths. Drag Gye lost the various debates, but ran away instead of converting to his older brother’s religion. Drag Den caught him, and tried to punish him for breaking the rules of debate and going back on his promise. Drag Gye told his brother that even if he was killed he would not give up his religion, however if Drag Den let him go, that in the future when Drag Den became enlightened, he would protect his teachings. With that Drag Den let him go, and gave him a set of copper armour, a stick, and a bow and arrow. Drag Den also gave Drag Gye a new name: Sog Dag Yam Shi Mar Po. After this incident the two brothers never saw each other again in that lifetime. Many lives after that Drag Den was reborn as Prince Siddharta, who eventually became enlightened and is now known as Buddha Shakyamuni. Drag Gye, or Sog Dag Yam Shi Mar Po, was reborn in a cemetery in the North West direction. His parents gave birth to two eggs, one was a coral-like colour and the other was an agate-like colour. These two eggs flew high into the sky and reached the heavenly realms, there they subdued the gods. Then flying back down to earth, they subdued many nagas. Eventually they even came to threaten their own parents. The parents petitioned the Dharma protector Ekajati for her help, who threw her own staff (khatvanga) at the eggs, and broke them apart. From the coral-like coloured egg came a ferocious man with yellow hair, he proclaimed that his name was ‘Sog Dag Yam Shi Mar Po’. When he emerged he was wearing a set of copper armour, wielding a stick, copper sword, and a bow and arrow. From the agate-like coloured egg came a female who was blue in colour, her teeth were like shells, she had turquoise eyebrows, and her hair was made of fire. She emerged wielding a copper knife, ritual dagger (phurba), rode a terrifying bear and wore an intricate necklace made of agate and lapis lazuli. It was then that Ekajati once again took action, and subdued them, after which they became Dharma protectors. The male figure became known as Begtse, and the female as his sister. When you propitiate Begtse, his sister is automatically included and aids practitioners as well. As for which lama offer his practice and empowerment, most lamas do not advertise which teachings or practice they hold. Therefore you should respectfully approach lamas and ask them if they have the practice and can bestow it, or if they know of any lamas that have the practice, depending on how much you want to practice Begtse. Similarly, this applies to those lamas who have the practice of Manjushri Nagarakshasa. However, this practice is included in the Rinjung Gyatsa series of empowerments. This unique cycle of teachings, includes all 4 classes of tantric practices, and includes the practice of Manjushri Nagarakshasa. Therefore those lamas who have received the complete transmission, and have kept their commitments for this practice, are qualified to pass this on to others. I hope this explanation helps. Thank you.
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CHAT PICTURES

Art expression using chalks and papers is an avenue for young children to cultivate positive perspective of life and connect with their artistic or creative side. Stella, KSDS
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Dorje Shugden
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