Some thoughts on love relationships

Feb 23, 2012 | Views: 25,218
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Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to  destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships,  being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion,  genuine care, sharing and honesty. Tsem Rinpoche

 

In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your  relationship will grow stronger and better with time. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.  Tsem Rinpoche

 

It takes a years to earn the trust of your spouse, but one selfish mistake to break their heart. Then years to regain their trust again. Just be honest from the beginning and always be loyal. Tsem Rinpoche

 

There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Everyone has so much pain already. No one is not damaged goods. So why bring more pain to your partner. Love, cherish and respect your partner by being honest and always communicating. Tsem Rinpoche

 

I am sorry is ok once, twice but not three times. If you are always apologizing, maybe you are not respecting the relationship you are in. Either respect your relationship or create a prison. It’s up to you. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for selfish reasons. Tsem Rinpoche

 

No one forced you to have a relationship. So do not make excuses for hurting your partner. Take responsibility for all your actions starting with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues. Tsem Rinpoche

 

All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it…Tsem Rinpoche

 

When we look back and see how many partners we have changed, we can be sure it is a sign we have not fulfilled what we should be doing in life. Finding partners is just a delay tactic perhaps for what we should really be doing..Tsem Rinpoche

 

Partners and spouses are only ok to have when we are ok. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to hurt yourself and your partner is when you use them to hide  behind your selfish avoidances. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche

 

If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness. Tsem Rinpoche

 

You deserve what you give. The universe owes you nothing. But you owe the universe everything. Be comfortable with that thought first and then seek friends. Tsem Rinpoche

 

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49 Responses to Some thoughts on love relationships

  1. tsemtulku on Feb 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Some thoughts on love and relationships..I am not the expert, but over the years I have to listen to alot of people and I came out with some of my own conclusions…

    • Sophia chung on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Dear Rinpoche,

      Thank you for your advice on relationship. It made me reflect on myself to improve tremendously..
      It was great pleasure to meet u in the gompa last nite. I feel very lucky to receive
      a dharma talk in person from you. Although shocking, It was priceless, the love and effort you put in for
      Your students. Thank you for taking the time to pay us the visit.

      Sophia

  2. freon on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    With folded hand, Thank you Guru

  3. Irene on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

    But what about a situation in which one partner dominates the whole family, and always expects to be bowed and scraped to. He always complains about how nobody does anything right (like he wants), and threatens to leave if we don’t shape up. I often wonder how much of this is due to his family background. (He grew up in an abusive environment.)

    Don’t get me wrong–he can be charming and generous when he wants to be, but sometimes I think he does it in order to manipulate people. (When we do what he wants, he praises them or gives them little gifts, otherwise he criticizes and sulks.) If things get too quiet, then he’s good at manufacturing drama (like claiming to have a mortal illness), and he just loves to gossip. But he doesn’t think that HE is doing any of this, according to him he’s just humbly following what is right (as he was taught). And somehow he always ends up being the center of attention.

    I’m probably making him sound like a monster, but that’s not right. He can be loyal and compassionate (he loves animals, and gives to charity) and is obviously very hard working and a very good manager. He has the potential to make a positive impact on the world. But we’re in this lopsided relationship with him, in which he gets to set all the conditions, and anyone who can’t accept that can just leave. (He’s alienated a lot of people over the years, although he tells it a different way–who knows what the truth is.) Anyway, Rinpoche, I’m sure you know people like that. What to do…?

    • mrs cheung on Feb 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      dear rinpoche, i also know someone similar to what irene has written here in her reply, plus more. he also flirts with younger women but his sick and old wife could do nothing to stop him. facing such a monster, she could only soar and sob over her misfortune. uneducated, unemployed, unwanted, old and sick. she has no where to run to. what to do…?

  4. Hui Keng on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    LOVE is in the air. Read on baby…How lucky Rinpoche giving advice around the clock! Rinpoche’s love is genuinely unconditional hence it survives all tests and challenges. We are pretty much lucky to have Rinpoche. We have sowed good seeds for this to happen and we must utilise fully given this opportunity. Rinpoche immensely love all of us, even more deeply than what our parents can do.

  5. skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Dear Rinpoche, thank you very much for the good advises.

    “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the same expectation on yourself.”

    “Trying to put away, hiding, or avoiding relationship issues won’t make them go away. You need to talk over or be clear about it.”

    “Always bringing up and rehashing previous issues mean the issue doesn’t solve go away or it just mean you’re not letting go and keep holding on to it.”

    • skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

      Correction:
      “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the _different_ expectation on yourself.”

  6. kenny wong on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Again, thank you for you kind insights. We choose our partners ourselves and have to accept him/her for who she is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the whole. How we percieve and accept our patners is totally up to us, thus we control our own happiness in the relationship. But if we are not generous and cannot lose out in the relationship and must win all the time, we will definately be the one losing at the end…. being unhappy, unfulfilled and bitter.

    Your words of advice are so true and spot on Rinpoche.

  7. Nicholas on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Thanks for Rinpoche advice.

    Found that the teaching is not just for relationship but it is also applicable for anything we do in our life.

    It’s all about care. How much we want to do for others is how much we cares for others.
    We responsible for the relationship because no one can force us. We are the one choose to be and should go all the way. I like this! No point to regret on what we have not done to save the relationship because we can always be the one to take action first.

    It’s not about who love whom more than who suppose to take the first move, it’s how much you love, how much you appreciate and how far you want to go with your relationship.

    This is just applicable for everything in our life.

  8. Han Siew Fong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    All the advices will sink into my mind. .. and have a better relationship with my partner

    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness.” Tsem Rinpoche

    i contemplated on the above and i do realize the meaning of the quote.

    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful post

  9. Jace Chong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing these very useful quotes.

    Relationship used to be something very hard for me to juggle in between love and selfishness. When I had quarrel with partner, I always not sure this is because I want him to be my way, or I want my partner to improve. And the definition of improvement is vary to different people.

    “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications. ”

    This is a very practical way. I should not focus on what I want, but what is best for our partner.

    Even Rinpoche didn’t go through all these, Rinpoche understand better than everyone else what should we practice in relationship. Salute to Rinpoche, as always!

  10. shivani on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I want to know a little about Karmic Connection.We meet people but they leave us yet we cannot earse them

  11. yekyee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Each of Rinpoche is very logic and make sense. When we choose a relationship, must always our partner with real care and patient. No one is perfect. How can we go along with each other, tolerance is another good deed we need practice. I believe very strongly on it. My aunty friend always with me, it is not easy for two different character person live, eat, play, work together, need so much efforts and patient. I agreed. Thankyou for Rinpoche sharing.

  12. Margaretlee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts and experiences you have encountered with the many stories you were told.

    I think responsibility, honesty, sincerity and intergrity apply to everything we do in our life, be it work or relationship.

    There is a saying that people only starts to know themselves when they are in a relationship, it is indeed true when we realise we always demand this and that from our partner and never gives back, a state of complete self absorption. relationship is about giving and not taking.

    I paticularly like this quote from Rinpoche : “When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche”

    Going to share this blog with many of my samsara friends…..

  13. tenzin llhamo on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    This is the one I like the most. Because of being dishonest, so many relationships are destroyed. How sad! But now that we understand, we must be better. Treat relationships with respect, humility and honesty.

    ‘In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time’

  14. abby on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Love and compassion is the greatest lesson in everyone’s life.
    Yes, Rinpoche may not be the expert, but yes, Rinpoche do care about everyone. And with this compassion, Rinpoche is the Love Guru :)

  15. Yvonne Yap on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche! this is a reminder , remind the things we know, but we always forgot.Because you care.

  16. Ash Ng on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Dear Rinpoche, You have given us some wonderful insights on having relationships with others. I especially agree with the few advises below;

    1) When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first.

    2) Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt.

    I feel these 2 major points encompass all the others and when we are REALLY ready after dealing with our deep seeded insecurities, comfortable and accepting ourselves then only we take the next step. Appreciate Your enlightening insights and You care for us with others. Will put in effort working on these as the essence of Dharma is compassion towards others and not hurting or harming them would be the first priority. Thus, working on oneself first is the key to happiness. Tashi delek

  17. Uncle Eddie on Feb 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Is love all we need to make a successful and fulfilling life relationship? Obviously, not all love relationships are the “Life Partnership kind”. It is important to realise and recognise that, and be okay with that. We can learn so much from the experiences of past relationships, to change towards the better, to a more adaptable, improved and acceptable one for both partners. It is everyone’s goal to have the desire of finding a life partner who caters to one’s entire needs and satisfaction. We all want someone who looks good, always make us laugh, supports us, respect us and trusts us well. Before we can find that ‘someone’, we need to be that person – that includes accepting all faults and short comings of oneself and that of your life partner too. A healthy relationship, essentially, should have a good building up of respect, loyalty, trust and a good admiration for each other; more similar to a house solid basic foundation structure, where the more love and nurturance we put into it, is what makes it a happy home, and a successful and fulfilling life relationship in the years to come.

  18. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    “And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is”

  19. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is….

  20. SEreNa on Feb 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Thanks for Rinpoche sharing on some thoughts for love and relationships.

    We must always remember to share and communicate with our love partner for every challenges we face in life. You have make your choice to spend the rest of your life with the loved one. SO, Be responsible and respect to the loved one. Don’t be selfish as pain will arise to the loved one including youself.

  21. Khoo HH on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for the sharing on love relationships.
    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness”
    How can we hurt a person if we truly love that person, and we know that the person also love us. I think “Selfishness” is the only explaination on this. A lot of time we are treating our partner good because we wanted to feel good, not because we want our partner to feel good. I have heard of this situation a lot of times from people around me. A guy wanted to bring his girlfriend for a nice dinner because he wanted to make his girlfriend happy. But he got angry with his girlfriend when she took a long time to makeup. Suppose to be a romantic dinner, ended up with a quarrel in the house. I will always think, what is the objective of this dinner? To not miss the reserved table, or to make your partner happy? Perhaps he thought that his effort of booking the table is greater than his partner. I think if a couple truly love each other, even a roadside stall will be a romantic dinner.

  22. bengkooi on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these thought provoking quotes. My favourite is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty.”

    To share with those who have not had the fortune to hear one of Rinpoche’s talks about relationships… As Rinpoche has said many times, a dharma relationship is different from a secular relationship because we are not in it just for ourselves. When we enter a dharma relationship, we must be determined to make it last. We must be determined to make it work regardless of whatever problems come along. We cannot just try things out because we may hurt the other person and that is a big no no.

    Its good to be aware of these things, because there are people who jump into relationships or even dharma relationships unaware of what it really entails and the commitment that we must put in.

    Bottom line – dont hurt others.
    Bottom bottom line: be a monk/nun!

  23. Any Loke on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Wow, is so true about what Rinpoche wrote. But, human is really selfish, sometimes, we never think that the problem of the relationship is actually created by oursleves. After all the teachings and Puja that I have done it really helped so much in all aspects.

  24. Wee Liang on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:43 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you so much for the dharma talk last night. Also thank you very much for all the quotes on love and relationships. Its very enlightening, makes me reflect. My favourite quote is ‘The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you.’ This one is harddddddd.

    Wee Liang

  25. vc on Feb 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Rinpoche is very lucky to have get out of samsara and not involve in opposite sex relationships.Everyone should think they are indeed lucky and have the privilege to left the home life and seek the Way.We can only see what is worldly and not transcendental.This life is not just about humanity but transcendental to the ultimate reality.Nirvana.

  26. Jean Ai on Feb 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    After reading this, putting it alongside the video Rinpoche sent to us (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLH6-P6rIv8), I gotta add to this post – never choose someone on the basis of their looks! It all fades with age, no matter how rich, poor, fat or skinny you are! And death comes to everyone, so how do you want to live your relationship? With anger, disharmony and bitterness, or do you want your relationship to be the cause of something bigger and better? Rinpoche always says some relationships drag people down, and others lead to better things…if yours is the former, time to stop being selfish and let go, both for your benefit and for your partner’s!

  27. Datuk May on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    The quote I like best is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty”. I totally agree with this and in my own view love is not confined to couples and family only but rather it is universal and to be practised unconditionally.

    Love is tough to give as it challenges our selfishness, ego etc etc that concocts most negative emotions in most people. Being as delusional as we are, we think we are in bliss when there is love.

    I totally disagree that Rinpoche is not an expert in relationships and love, if the above quote is what attracts me then it is true for me that Rinpoche is the only one person I know that truly gives love to every sentient being.

    Now that is tough to practise.

  28. Li Kim on Feb 25, 2012 at 5:23 am

    These quotes are true and real. Not the usual mambo jumbo you get in books and cards. Many of the quotes from Rinpoche brought back the sweet and fond memories of relationships for me. I am not bitter la but can say that I have become slightly disenchanted. I think that I will just enjoy the quotes and not think too much into relationships.

    “When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues.” – this applies to many I must say…

  29. vc on Feb 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Dear All,
    All of your opinions about relationship maybe right or wrong.But all you haven’t got there yet.To get out of six defiling objects from your mind.All of you are subjected to six dusts defiling senses which all of you are attracted to such as beauty,intelligent,smell,senses.Be honest to yourself and speak the truth.Don’t go and claim yourself you are the GOD and not attracted to anything and swear and curse others when you are now wearing the ‘Human Body’. If you think don’t like this world you can always calm your mind and return to the source,the Origin and achieve perfect enlightenment like the Buddha.If you think you like what you are doing,just go with the flow and don’t complain.

  30. Amala Sheilagh Mercer on Feb 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you , this is something , Dear Tsem Rinpoche, I will print put and read often ,I may also share it often to anyone open to reading it. And a copy in my washsroom, never know who reads the only reading matterial available to them there, I truly, realize and not all that long ago, that, there is an emotional love and then there is unconditional love,. That is a start , I believe, even though, this only scratches the surface, because of an out of body experience, it was difficult to fathom that much love . Yet changed my life. Now this here to read and remind me. .
    Love and Blessings
    Amala Sheilagh

  31. Li Kheng on Feb 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for this insightful post on relationships. We spend so much time chasing after prince/princess charming whom we believe will make our world a better place. We often forget to consider using ourselves to make someone else’s world a better place. Thank you Rinpoche for this reminder. I especially like this quote:

    “There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche”

  32. patsy on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for sharing these useful quotes which we can use not only in relationships but with every one whether its friends relationship or love relationship. When we care for others and treat them well with respect, we will get the results of being treated well by others too.

    I like this one, “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.”

  33. Uncle Lai on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Thank you once again Rinpoche for all the wonderful quotes on love and relationships. You are the most caring person, always look into us and find ways to explain and teach how to live a happier life.

    Of all the quotes I like this the most. ‘In all relationships honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time.’ I fully agree with that because if we are honest we will not cheat, we dont lie, we trust and we are humble. I think this is so because it comes from inside us,

  34. Julia Tan on Feb 29, 2012 at 3:05 am

    “All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it”

    Something as simple as saying NO and we can avoid hurting ourselves and our partners. We didn’t do it. We let it be.

    If you truly love your partners, do something about it, before it is too late..

  35. Albert Ratchaga on Feb 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for the quotes, some times we can be very possessive when we love someone, either to our partner or family, we tend to be very controlling, and the reason of being like this is just because “I LOVE YOU”.

    just a simple word I Love You, it became a manifestation of our selfishness, instead of accepting the person we love, we tend to turn them into our ideally person to be. we expect everything from them but giving nothing from ourselves… so are we really loving them or we actually loves ourselves more? Is love a taking or giving?

  36. Melinda yap on Mar 1, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,
    Thank you for your thoughts and advice on love and relationships. It is so so true what Rinpoche has shared. After reading, I looked back and pondered about my past relationships… It is true in order for a relationship to be in harmony,both parties should be honest plus have respect for each other from the beginning of the relationship. This will in time gives security and stability to the relationship…I love all the above thoughts by Rinpoche on love & relationships…I’ll save it so I could remind myself what love and relationship is all about! ;-)

  37. su_zan on Mar 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Dear Rinpche thank you for all the above quotes. It reminds me of the talk you give during my wedding day.

    For me the above quotes not only apply on a couple relationship, it applies to all kinds of relationships (friends, teachers, family, children and etc)

    One of which is
    “Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche”

  38. Wan Wai Meng on Mar 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    These are really thought provoking thoughts about relationships. Thank you sharing them, such quotes will really help people think about what they are doing.

  39. mitra on Jun 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    good advice for every one.

  40. Jessica Yap on Dec 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Everything begins with me, myself, and I. How i feel, how i react to situations, how i treat others, everything is from me. These quotes should be read every now and then to contemplate on..

    Thank you for the profound quotes, Rinpoche!

  41. Paris on Feb 3, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    To add to this, Rinpoche gave a wonderful teaching on how to maintain a successful relationship at one of his students’ wedding a few years ago. I remember it being an especially beautiful teaching because the girl was Buddhist but the boy was Christian – and the advice given was just as relevant for both. Relive the teaching here! (it comes in three parts) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO9yjD_j5HI

    David Lai has also written a book about relationships based on these teachings – a very cute way of presenting different thoughts on relationships, but with this same underlying message that Rinpoche gives us. Here! “Conversations in Love”: http://www.kechara.com/publications/publications/mind-body-spirit/conversations-in-love/

  42. Paris on Feb 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Rereading this again this Valentines’ day and thinking about how, at the heart of everything, is this real gritty honesty that we all need to look at, in every of our relationships. Once the razzle dazzle of moonlight, flowers and chocolates dies down, we are left ourselves to ourselves – then what?

    Then we start creating problems, either for ourselves, our parents, or both. The relationship itself doesn’t go wrong; nor is it our partner’s fault when things don’t peter out the way we want it to. At the end of the day, we have to remember that it takes two hands to clap and to ask ourselves what it is that *I* am doing right or wrong?

    Remember too, whenever things are tough, of the good times, the positive stuff and why it is we fell in love in the first place. Good always wins over the evil and yes, I do still believe that love can make the world go round, if only we stick with it.

  43. Joy on Feb 14, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. ~ Tsem Rinpoche

    I like this quote the best… it is really true… most of us get in to a relationship for all the wrong reasons. They think life is like some Hollywood fantasy and they go chasing after this idealistic dream which in the end hurts us more than anything else when it does not fit our projections and expectations. And when get in to a relationship we tend to forget ourselves and our whole life revolves around that person, we do whatever that person wants, wishes, and sometimes we even allow ourselves to be use and abuse… all in the name of love. And we become dependent of this person like a puppet. I have seen this in so many of my friends… is it really love? Or is it because of our own insecurities and selfish reasons?

    Being true and comfortable with yourself, knowing who you are, where you stand and dealing with your own self first is far better because then when we do enter a relationship, we compliment the other instead of epecting, we give, instead of depending, we’re interdependent and it is a mutual, two way street kind of thing, where both can grow individually and together… especially if both partners were doing spirit Dharma practice together… it becomes a blessing to one another instead of an obstacle. A couple like this is a big inspiration… http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/for-couples.html

  44. [...] is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for [...]

  45. Carmen Lin @ KMP on Sep 23, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts, with folded hands. What Rinpoche said is very truth and applicable to anyone of all walks of life. I will read it again and again when friends of mine had relationship problem or I myself having the problem, I can know where to find the solution and words of advice. Thank you again Rinpoche, for your efforts to enhance the lives of others.

  46. Louisa on Jan 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    I’m always learning and practising loving people around me unconditionally. Although I did not love my parents the way they expect, i still love them but they can never get enough. Just because I dont love them the way they want and they thought I dont love them. I really upset and dont know what more I can do.

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KECHARA FOREST RETREAT PROGRESS UPDATES

Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.



Dear blog friends,

I’ve created this section for all of you to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings about whatever interests you.

Everyone has a different perspective, so this section is for you

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CREDITS

Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Khong Jean Mei, Justin Ripley, Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Writer: Pastor Loh Seng Piow
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

What I am writing now

Scroll down and click on "older messages" to view archived chit messages. Use 'prev' and 'next' links to navigate between pages

The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
These fresh tomatoes just plucked from our garden here in our USA Ladrang. Tomatoes are some of my favorite foods. Tsem Rinpoche
4 days ago
We had some very special guests come to volunteer at Kechara? Guess who they were? And they turned out to be very humble in their works that night. Please see the love and care: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=51852
1 week ago
This is so true. When teach dharma to some and ask them to change or explain why, they reject and become unhappy and speak ill. 
1 week ago
If my endurance of so much suffering these past years have benefitted you and took some away from you, then it was not in vain and I am content and I would take more.~Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
A sketch by a eye witness in California-1987
2 weeks ago
Existing is not true existence but mere labelling because the causes removed, we are empty.~Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
People from different parts of the world who have no prior obvious connections can connect to do dharma together. This is wonderful because what we did in the past together can manifest in the present again to continue where we left off. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 weeks ago
ELEPHANT WEEPS AFTER RESCUE: A 50-year-old elephant that had spent much of his life shackled in chains, wept when he was finally freed from captivity. "Raju" had tears streaming down his face, as wildlife rescuers released him. SHARE this amazing story. -Details of Raju's rescue: http://kiro.tv/AmazingElephantStory
2 weeks ago
This is profound and the secrets to our success or failure. Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
Are you the sign of the pig? Do you want to know more about yourself? It would be interesting: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=23608
2 weeks ago
Vegetables harvested from our garden in our USA residence today...nice. TR
3 weeks ago
See who are in these nice pictures and how they are connected to me please....I just posted the Gratitude series #2...do take a look: See: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=51490
3 weeks ago
Powerful!!
3 weeks ago
Having a healthy strong body is important so we can take care of the people and animals around us, to do our dharma practice and to be able to contribute to society. Practices like Je Tsongkapa and Amitayus are very helpful for extending our life energies and healing from within. I spoke about it: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=29398
3 weeks ago
There are over 75,182 views of this post already! It's on horoscopes and how compatible you are with someone or not compatible and why. Perhaps it would be good to understand why someone so close could have or not have conflicts with you. Find out about yourself and understand your character: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=24905
3 weeks ago
Dear friends, This is a very good documentary on bigfoot. It is very scientific and examines a new footage of a bigfoot running very fast. Examines and gives you reasons why this cannot be a man or a person in a suit..very nice. I've not seen this one before. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zUhKhv3Z-I
3 weeks ago
Please click and enlarge the picture. This is something I strongly feel. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
This will be my gratitude series where I share all that I am grateful for. This is my first post: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=51490
3 weeks ago
Mr. Lai, the proud dad of Pastor David Lai. Mr. Lai has expressed how proud he is of his son and what he is doing for others. Mr. Lai is very happy his son David is a Pastor of Kechara and rejoices in the Dharma shared with others. Mr. Lai himself is a very kind and steady person and an important member of Kechara also who always keeps his promises. Many in Kechara respect and love Mr. Lai. Like father like son. Kind people. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
I agree with what Martin T. Bosnev says about Pastor David. Martin is a very intelligent person, so when he compliments, he has thought it through. I appreciate Martin's input. Pastor David always teaches Dharma from his heart and with enthusiasm. He truly believes in what he shares. He has been blessed by Tsongkapa to speak because he is sincere. Many enjoy listening to the Dharma from him very much. Please see what Martin is talking about: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=4197
3 weeks ago
This may be short, but it's one of my favorite documentaries also you have to take a look. Very good. I wanted to share with you all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUDjCmg4awI
3 weeks ago
Our group who went on a spiritual pilgrimage in the holy places of Kathmandu, Nepal.-June 2014. I rejoice for them. These trips have infinitely so much more meaning than the usual vacations.  Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
Burning eyes? A special story for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e548MkrkGWk
4 weeks ago
Do you know what is a Wenatchee? Let me share: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUm3ldZhZIU
4 weeks ago
Beautiful Sampheling Monastery. The home monastery of H.H.Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche. This is a place to visit!
1 month ago
Dear friends, Are you ready to witness something extremely brutal but with a happy ending? See here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=50488 (Viewer discretion is advised as very graphic)
1 month ago
Dear friends, Did you know there are three holy mountains of Avalokitesvara, Manjushri and Vajrapani in Yating, Kham -Tibet??!! It's not that difficult to get to either. I have just finished blogging about this. I watched a travelogue earlier and was AMAZED at the footage they showed of certain holy places in Tibet that I have heard of from senior monks but never seen. You MUST watch this excellent travelogue and enjoy. Tsem Rinpoche See here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=50824
1 month ago
Zamkar, Dharma, Mumu and Oser are always smiling and super cute. Tsem Rinpoche 
1 month ago
New book from Kechara just launched! http://Www.vajrasecrets.com
1 month ago
I've always tried my best to escape secular dreams because it's all a big wheel of disappointment. Get me out of samsara! Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
Look at my Mumu boy. You can never take a bad picture with him. He is super cute from any angle. I love you Mumu. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
Please remember this. A dog is not a pet but a part of your family. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
Lineage lamas and root lama in Vajra Yogini's tantra. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
This is excellent! Must read and share. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
When on the hospital bed nearing our last breath, nothing matters except for the practice and transformation we have done in dharma in our lifetime. Our money, wishes, houses, clothes, jewelry, reputation, spouses, desires, dreams, greed, anger, possessions, explanations will be of no use at all. It will in fact even be a hindrance scratching at our mind's energy to let go and we cannot. Since they are no use at that momentous event, we should continue that thought now and understand what we should truly cultivate now. This thought must translate into action not just scholastic thoughts and meanderings of the mind for self deception or imitation spiritual satisfaction. This is what I think daily and everyday as part of my meditations on death and impermanence according to first chapter of Lam Rim. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
I totally agree with this. Some vent out their anger, get attention or want to send messages to people and justify by saying it's their space their posting on and they can post what they want. Be it so, your space is seen my hundreds and it's public domain and you know that. So if others post otherwise to your views, why get upset? You invited it. Maybe that is what you wanted? Attention? LOL.Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
Wow. How perfect is this. This is exactly how I feel when I shared dharma with some people. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
I like this one. I just found it. Wonderful and simple for those who have to seek either one. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama in Yong He Gong temple in front of the beautiful Tsongakpa main altar in Beijing, China.
2 months ago
Another must read and must have book. I ordered it last week and it arrived today. So very much looking forward to reading/studying it. Dharma knowledge is something that should not remain stagnant. We must improve and apply upon it always. Applying it is the secret. I have so much more to learn. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always. Mahatma Gandhi
2 months ago
Look at my cheeky and cute Mumu boy!! The camera loves him! I love him. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
It would be wonderful if everyone can obtain a beautiful Vajra Yogini statue like this and it's available at http://www.vajrasecrets.com. Would you have Her body red painted or just copper color or brass colored? Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
Lifelike Supreme Tara painted in Indian style. Stunning. Wish I can get artist to reproduce this exactly. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
Holy and lifelike Lord Manjushri painted in Indian style in which it should be. Wish I can have this reproduced exactly with every holy detail. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
This picture is self explanatory. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
Geshe Ngawang Dhargye was an incredible teacher, read his superb teachings and understand about his parinirvana: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=49542
2 months ago
Complete Commentary on 50 Verses of Guru Devotion--Dear friends, This is an essential study no matter what tradition of Buddhism you come from. If you are serious about gaining progress on the path of practice to enlightenment, this text is highly recommended and very necessary. I fold my hands and request you all to study so you gain progress. See here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=49607
2 months ago
Click on "View All Photos" above to view more images

Videos On The Go

Please click on the images to watch video
  • 14th Dalai Lama with Mrs.Indira Gandhi , Delhi INDIA 1966
    14th Dalai Lama with Mrs.Indira Gandhi , Delhi INDIA 1966
    1 month ago
  • The Girl Who Couldn't Cry - Water is Life
    The Girl Who Couldn't Cry - Water is Life
    It's really hard to educate a generation of people born in conditions where they take things for granted. A simple slogan campaign that says, "Save water, It's precious" isn't sticky enough to make inroads. That's exactly where this video steps in: to make people realize how precious water actually is. A brilliant video that follows the heartbreaking story of a young girl that cannot cry. Sounds like fiction? Sadly, it is not.
    2 months ago
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    Dear everyone, All sentient beings deserve to live, be happy and not hurt, including animals. We should never hurt them or eat them. Look how much this chicken welcomes a hug and love. Observe carefully. Don't eat beings who can feel pain because the karma comes back. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 months ago
  • The appreciation shown here is so deep and touching.
    The appreciation shown here is so deep and touching.
    Dear friends, See this incredible video. This chimp was found in captivity for many years. Dr Jane Goodall released him into the wild. Look how he comes back to thank her with deep apprecition. It's amazing. Animals have such strong feelings of pain and happiness just like us. We should never hurt them and share with others to not hurt them. Tsem Rinpoche http://www.tsemrinpoche.com
    3 months ago
  • Aki drinking some water in the aviary
    Aki drinking some water in the aviary
    Aki is a rescued bird, he now lives in Kechara Forest Retreat Aviary
    5 months ago
  • Jamyang enjoying some fresh corn
    Jamyang enjoying some fresh corn
    Jamyang is one of our rescue birds that live in Kechara Forest Retreat Aviary
    5 months ago
  • The Cute Mumus Practising Dog Orchestra at Kechara Forest Retreat
    The Cute Mumus Practising Dog Orchestra at Kechara Forest Retreat
    Today the Mumus (dogs) decided to do a dog orchestra rehearsal together with the Kechara Forest Retreat (KFR) dogs.
    5 months ago
  • Incredible footage you must see!
    Incredible footage you must see!
    Description
    5 months ago
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    Gongkar is our new bird for Kechara Forest Retreat's aviary. Gongkar never had friends and the original owner could not bring him to his destination. Now he is with us and assimilating in his cage within the aviary for a few weeks then released into aviary. Look at how much he wants attention from the other birds. Cute. Tsem Rinpoche
    9 months ago
  • Mumu, Oser and Dharma running and having a good time. I love seeing them playing. Tsem Rinpoche
    Mumu, Oser and Dharma running and having a good time. I love seeing them playing. Tsem Rinpoche
    9 months ago
  • Mumus running at Kechara Forest Retreat
    Mumus running at Kechara Forest Retreat
    10 months ago
  • Kechara Forest Retreat panorama, September 2013
    Kechara Forest Retreat panorama, September 2013
    10 months ago
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    Dechog our cockatoo at Kechara Forest Retreat grabbing long beans which he loves. Nice bird. We love him. Tsem Rinpoche
    1 years ago
  • The mumus having outdoor evening stroll!!!
    The mumus having outdoor evening stroll!!!
    1 years ago
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    17 May 2013, heavy rain at Kechara Forest Retreat from 7am-8am (1 hour). Water overflowed the existing drain and also opened up a much wider new "route" for itself.
    1 years ago
  • Must see video from Rajendra on our disciplined dogs
    Must see video from Rajendra on our disciplined dogs
    1 years ago
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    Dato' Ruby won the Bella Awards!
    1 years ago
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    This is a wonderful video for Moh Mei because she is sleeping in the KECHARA FOREST RETREAT CONTAINERS all alone...ehehehhehe...this is a new friend to keep her company....tsem rinpoche
    1 years ago
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    Answer to Jo
    1 years ago
  • -
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    The 2 tortoises in Tsem Ladrang, Kadro and Menlha are enjoying their fresh veggie meal.
    2 yearss ago
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    Organic vegetables at Kechara Forest Retreat
    2 yearss ago
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    This is Dorje our friendly fish that lives with us. He captured my attention the first time because he was exceptionally friendly. TR
    2 yearss ago
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    Mumus go bye bye!!!
    2 yearss ago
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    SP's mom said that she is from Penang. This is her first trip to bodhgaya, and she truly finds bodhgaya is very holy and spiritual.
    2 yearss ago
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    Very touching video...Buddha said it was very important to visit the four holy places associated with Him before our deaths. Remembering this, I had instructed Paul to take this senior group to Bodhgaya and make sure they are able to plant imprints. When this life of 'fun', money, parties and socials are over, we cannot leave empty handed. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
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    Our two rescued tortoises who live at Tsem Ladrang happily and will be transferred to Kechara Forest Retreat where they will have much more space to roam and run. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
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    Aki is the old African Grey that was abandoned by his owner. Because he is old, no one wanted him. Well we wanted him and we took him and in and love him. He is in a big aviary and he likes his cage. We leave his cage open at all times so he can go in and out as he likes. His cage is his security blanket. Cute. He gets nice food and sunshine daily and also we play monks chanting for him to be blessed. We love you Aki. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
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    Meal time for all the cute mumus!
    2 yearss ago
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    Dear james, very nice video of Kechara outlet and the activity led by Kien. You must always make more videos. Thank you. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
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    This little birdie was at a pet shop. He has maimed leg, permanent damage to his wing and cannot fly and also one eye blind. I don't think anyone would want the poor thing, so I adopted him and keep him safe, fed and with lots of fresh air. He's also in a large aviary so he can be with other birds and not be alone. He is alert, active, and has a good appetite. I like him very much and will make sure he is safe, happy and has a good life. I name him Lucky. Lucky will always be safe now. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago

ASK ME A QUESTION

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Related Links To Myself

My Blog in Chinese:
zhandugu.blog.163.com
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www.tsemtulku.com
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www.kechara.com





CHAT PICTURES

After London A/ls- Study in Australia or NZ
10 hours ago
A Sample project ( Testing Project ) inspired by Pastor JJ - http://www.mixcloud.com/kksioweric/testing-128-sound/ ~ Erick @ Kechara ~
12 hours ago
Tara Sadhana for Kelvin Tan at Kechara Forest Retreat By Pastor JJ - https://soundcloud.com/jay-jae-chong/tara-sadhana-for-kelvin-tan-at ~ Erick @ Kechara ~
12 hours ago
Devoted members~Poling Leu, Casteven Lim and Steven Chew come earlier to help set up and do water offering before session 6 of Setrap Retreat at Kechara (JB) . From: June Tang (Khjb)
13 hours ago
~Response by tsemtulku~ I am not sure about your questions.But… 1. Karma definitely exists. Since karma exists, the accummulation of karma exists as well as the elimination. If you do not wish to experience the negative results of karma, you must eliminate them. To eliminate them, there are powerful methods. 2. Studying the dharma helps you to know what you are going to experience and how to recognize what you might experience. There are non-scholars that experience directly as well as scholars who remain dry their whole lives just intellectualizing and speaking of what they don’t practice. There are non-scholars who delude themselves into thinking they are experiencing and scholars who learn, contemplate then put into practice and hence experience. Cannot generalize. 3.You do not need the pantheon of deities. Each deity is a representative of all enlightened beings. Take one, practice it well and go all the way.Good luck. http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/questions/page/26 From: June Tang
13 hours ago
~Question asked by irene~ dear rinpoche how do prayers remove obstacles and the ripening effects of negative karma or create merits and the cause for ripening of positive karma ? how does one bridge the rigorous intellectual discipline of studying understanding or directly experiencing the teachings of the buddha and the practice of devotions to a pantheon of deities ? From: June Tang (Khjb)
13 hours ago
Chinese Setrap Puja on 23/7/2014
16 hours ago
Medicine Buddha puja set up done by Tat Ming and volunteer Mr. Choo
16 hours ago
Pastor Adeline sharing Dharma during Wednesday Setrap Puja
16 hours ago
心造世界,由你做起_Hee TS
18 hours ago
Appreciating what we have and to not find excuses to fail is so important.~Tsem Rinpoche_Hee TS
18 hours ago
World’s Most Expensive Dog _Hee TS
18 hours ago
Room Rates are 30% off During July @ Tea Bush Hotel- Nuwara Eliya
19 hours ago
2014-07-23 16:29:10 Kechara goes to Giant Supermarket!! | Tsem =?GB2312?B?oa0=?=
20 hours ago
The power of our thoughts! We are definitely the creator, a powerful one! Pastor Adeline
20 hours ago

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