Some thoughts on love relationships

Feb 23, 2012 | Views: 27,641
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Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to  destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships,  being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion,  genuine care, sharing and honesty. Tsem Rinpoche

 

In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your  relationship will grow stronger and better with time. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.  Tsem Rinpoche

 

It takes a years to earn the trust of your spouse, but one selfish mistake to break their heart. Then years to regain their trust again. Just be honest from the beginning and always be loyal. Tsem Rinpoche

 

There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Everyone has so much pain already. No one is not damaged goods. So why bring more pain to your partner. Love, cherish and respect your partner by being honest and always communicating. Tsem Rinpoche

 

I am sorry is ok once, twice but not three times. If you are always apologizing, maybe you are not respecting the relationship you are in. Either respect your relationship or create a prison. It’s up to you. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for selfish reasons. Tsem Rinpoche

 

No one forced you to have a relationship. So do not make excuses for hurting your partner. Take responsibility for all your actions starting with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues. Tsem Rinpoche

 

All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it…Tsem Rinpoche

 

When we look back and see how many partners we have changed, we can be sure it is a sign we have not fulfilled what we should be doing in life. Finding partners is just a delay tactic perhaps for what we should really be doing..Tsem Rinpoche

 

Partners and spouses are only ok to have when we are ok. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to hurt yourself and your partner is when you use them to hide  behind your selfish avoidances. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche

 

If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness. Tsem Rinpoche

 

You deserve what you give. The universe owes you nothing. But you owe the universe everything. Be comfortable with that thought first and then seek friends. Tsem Rinpoche

 

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49 Responses to Some thoughts on love relationships

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  1. Louisa on Jan 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    I’m always learning and practising loving people around me unconditionally. Although I did not love my parents the way they expect, i still love them but they can never get enough. Just because I dont love them the way they want and they thought I dont love them. I really upset and dont know what more I can do.

  2. Carmen Lin @ KMP on Sep 23, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts, with folded hands. What Rinpoche said is very truth and applicable to anyone of all walks of life. I will read it again and again when friends of mine had relationship problem or I myself having the problem, I can know where to find the solution and words of advice. Thank you again Rinpoche, for your efforts to enhance the lives of others.

  3. [...] is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for [...]

  4. Joy on Feb 14, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. ~ Tsem Rinpoche

    I like this quote the best… it is really true… most of us get in to a relationship for all the wrong reasons. They think life is like some Hollywood fantasy and they go chasing after this idealistic dream which in the end hurts us more than anything else when it does not fit our projections and expectations. And when get in to a relationship we tend to forget ourselves and our whole life revolves around that person, we do whatever that person wants, wishes, and sometimes we even allow ourselves to be use and abuse… all in the name of love. And we become dependent of this person like a puppet. I have seen this in so many of my friends… is it really love? Or is it because of our own insecurities and selfish reasons?

    Being true and comfortable with yourself, knowing who you are, where you stand and dealing with your own self first is far better because then when we do enter a relationship, we compliment the other instead of epecting, we give, instead of depending, we’re interdependent and it is a mutual, two way street kind of thing, where both can grow individually and together… especially if both partners were doing spirit Dharma practice together… it becomes a blessing to one another instead of an obstacle. A couple like this is a big inspiration… http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/for-couples.html

  5. Paris on Feb 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Rereading this again this Valentines’ day and thinking about how, at the heart of everything, is this real gritty honesty that we all need to look at, in every of our relationships. Once the razzle dazzle of moonlight, flowers and chocolates dies down, we are left ourselves to ourselves – then what?

    Then we start creating problems, either for ourselves, our parents, or both. The relationship itself doesn’t go wrong; nor is it our partner’s fault when things don’t peter out the way we want it to. At the end of the day, we have to remember that it takes two hands to clap and to ask ourselves what it is that *I* am doing right or wrong?

    Remember too, whenever things are tough, of the good times, the positive stuff and why it is we fell in love in the first place. Good always wins over the evil and yes, I do still believe that love can make the world go round, if only we stick with it.

  6. Paris on Feb 3, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    To add to this, Rinpoche gave a wonderful teaching on how to maintain a successful relationship at one of his students’ wedding a few years ago. I remember it being an especially beautiful teaching because the girl was Buddhist but the boy was Christian – and the advice given was just as relevant for both. Relive the teaching here! (it comes in three parts) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO9yjD_j5HI

    David Lai has also written a book about relationships based on these teachings – a very cute way of presenting different thoughts on relationships, but with this same underlying message that Rinpoche gives us. Here! “Conversations in Love”: http://www.kechara.com/publications/publications/mind-body-spirit/conversations-in-love/

  7. Jessica Yap on Dec 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Everything begins with me, myself, and I. How i feel, how i react to situations, how i treat others, everything is from me. These quotes should be read every now and then to contemplate on..

    Thank you for the profound quotes, Rinpoche!

  8. mitra on Jun 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    good advice for every one.

  9. Wan Wai Meng on Mar 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    These are really thought provoking thoughts about relationships. Thank you sharing them, such quotes will really help people think about what they are doing.

  10. su_zan on Mar 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Dear Rinpche thank you for all the above quotes. It reminds me of the talk you give during my wedding day.

    For me the above quotes not only apply on a couple relationship, it applies to all kinds of relationships (friends, teachers, family, children and etc)

    One of which is
    “Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche”

  11. Melinda yap on Mar 1, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,
    Thank you for your thoughts and advice on love and relationships. It is so so true what Rinpoche has shared. After reading, I looked back and pondered about my past relationships… It is true in order for a relationship to be in harmony,both parties should be honest plus have respect for each other from the beginning of the relationship. This will in time gives security and stability to the relationship…I love all the above thoughts by Rinpoche on love & relationships…I’ll save it so I could remind myself what love and relationship is all about! ;-)

  12. Albert Ratchaga on Feb 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for the quotes, some times we can be very possessive when we love someone, either to our partner or family, we tend to be very controlling, and the reason of being like this is just because “I LOVE YOU”.

    just a simple word I Love You, it became a manifestation of our selfishness, instead of accepting the person we love, we tend to turn them into our ideally person to be. we expect everything from them but giving nothing from ourselves… so are we really loving them or we actually loves ourselves more? Is love a taking or giving?

  13. Julia Tan on Feb 29, 2012 at 3:05 am

    “All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it”

    Something as simple as saying NO and we can avoid hurting ourselves and our partners. We didn’t do it. We let it be.

    If you truly love your partners, do something about it, before it is too late..

  14. Uncle Lai on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Thank you once again Rinpoche for all the wonderful quotes on love and relationships. You are the most caring person, always look into us and find ways to explain and teach how to live a happier life.

    Of all the quotes I like this the most. ‘In all relationships honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time.’ I fully agree with that because if we are honest we will not cheat, we dont lie, we trust and we are humble. I think this is so because it comes from inside us,

  15. patsy on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for sharing these useful quotes which we can use not only in relationships but with every one whether its friends relationship or love relationship. When we care for others and treat them well with respect, we will get the results of being treated well by others too.

    I like this one, “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.”

  16. Li Kheng on Feb 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for this insightful post on relationships. We spend so much time chasing after prince/princess charming whom we believe will make our world a better place. We often forget to consider using ourselves to make someone else’s world a better place. Thank you Rinpoche for this reminder. I especially like this quote:

    “There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche”

  17. Amala Sheilagh Mercer on Feb 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you , this is something , Dear Tsem Rinpoche, I will print put and read often ,I may also share it often to anyone open to reading it. And a copy in my washsroom, never know who reads the only reading matterial available to them there, I truly, realize and not all that long ago, that, there is an emotional love and then there is unconditional love,. That is a start , I believe, even though, this only scratches the surface, because of an out of body experience, it was difficult to fathom that much love . Yet changed my life. Now this here to read and remind me. .
    Love and Blessings
    Amala Sheilagh

  18. vc on Feb 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Dear All,
    All of your opinions about relationship maybe right or wrong.But all you haven’t got there yet.To get out of six defiling objects from your mind.All of you are subjected to six dusts defiling senses which all of you are attracted to such as beauty,intelligent,smell,senses.Be honest to yourself and speak the truth.Don’t go and claim yourself you are the GOD and not attracted to anything and swear and curse others when you are now wearing the ‘Human Body’. If you think don’t like this world you can always calm your mind and return to the source,the Origin and achieve perfect enlightenment like the Buddha.If you think you like what you are doing,just go with the flow and don’t complain.

  19. Li Kim on Feb 25, 2012 at 5:23 am

    These quotes are true and real. Not the usual mambo jumbo you get in books and cards. Many of the quotes from Rinpoche brought back the sweet and fond memories of relationships for me. I am not bitter la but can say that I have become slightly disenchanted. I think that I will just enjoy the quotes and not think too much into relationships.

    “When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues.” – this applies to many I must say…

  20. Datuk May on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    The quote I like best is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty”. I totally agree with this and in my own view love is not confined to couples and family only but rather it is universal and to be practised unconditionally.

    Love is tough to give as it challenges our selfishness, ego etc etc that concocts most negative emotions in most people. Being as delusional as we are, we think we are in bliss when there is love.

    I totally disagree that Rinpoche is not an expert in relationships and love, if the above quote is what attracts me then it is true for me that Rinpoche is the only one person I know that truly gives love to every sentient being.

    Now that is tough to practise.

  21. Jean Ai on Feb 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    After reading this, putting it alongside the video Rinpoche sent to us (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLH6-P6rIv8), I gotta add to this post – never choose someone on the basis of their looks! It all fades with age, no matter how rich, poor, fat or skinny you are! And death comes to everyone, so how do you want to live your relationship? With anger, disharmony and bitterness, or do you want your relationship to be the cause of something bigger and better? Rinpoche always says some relationships drag people down, and others lead to better things…if yours is the former, time to stop being selfish and let go, both for your benefit and for your partner’s!

  22. vc on Feb 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Rinpoche is very lucky to have get out of samsara and not involve in opposite sex relationships.Everyone should think they are indeed lucky and have the privilege to left the home life and seek the Way.We can only see what is worldly and not transcendental.This life is not just about humanity but transcendental to the ultimate reality.Nirvana.

  23. Wee Liang on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:43 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you so much for the dharma talk last night. Also thank you very much for all the quotes on love and relationships. Its very enlightening, makes me reflect. My favourite quote is ‘The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you.’ This one is harddddddd.

    Wee Liang

  24. Any Loke on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Wow, is so true about what Rinpoche wrote. But, human is really selfish, sometimes, we never think that the problem of the relationship is actually created by oursleves. After all the teachings and Puja that I have done it really helped so much in all aspects.

  25. bengkooi on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these thought provoking quotes. My favourite is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty.”

    To share with those who have not had the fortune to hear one of Rinpoche’s talks about relationships… As Rinpoche has said many times, a dharma relationship is different from a secular relationship because we are not in it just for ourselves. When we enter a dharma relationship, we must be determined to make it last. We must be determined to make it work regardless of whatever problems come along. We cannot just try things out because we may hurt the other person and that is a big no no.

    Its good to be aware of these things, because there are people who jump into relationships or even dharma relationships unaware of what it really entails and the commitment that we must put in.

    Bottom line – dont hurt others.
    Bottom bottom line: be a monk/nun!

  26. Khoo HH on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for the sharing on love relationships.
    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness”
    How can we hurt a person if we truly love that person, and we know that the person also love us. I think “Selfishness” is the only explaination on this. A lot of time we are treating our partner good because we wanted to feel good, not because we want our partner to feel good. I have heard of this situation a lot of times from people around me. A guy wanted to bring his girlfriend for a nice dinner because he wanted to make his girlfriend happy. But he got angry with his girlfriend when she took a long time to makeup. Suppose to be a romantic dinner, ended up with a quarrel in the house. I will always think, what is the objective of this dinner? To not miss the reserved table, or to make your partner happy? Perhaps he thought that his effort of booking the table is greater than his partner. I think if a couple truly love each other, even a roadside stall will be a romantic dinner.

  27. SEreNa on Feb 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Thanks for Rinpoche sharing on some thoughts for love and relationships.

    We must always remember to share and communicate with our love partner for every challenges we face in life. You have make your choice to spend the rest of your life with the loved one. SO, Be responsible and respect to the loved one. Don’t be selfish as pain will arise to the loved one including youself.

  28. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is….

  29. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    “And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is”

  30. Uncle Eddie on Feb 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Is love all we need to make a successful and fulfilling life relationship? Obviously, not all love relationships are the “Life Partnership kind”. It is important to realise and recognise that, and be okay with that. We can learn so much from the experiences of past relationships, to change towards the better, to a more adaptable, improved and acceptable one for both partners. It is everyone’s goal to have the desire of finding a life partner who caters to one’s entire needs and satisfaction. We all want someone who looks good, always make us laugh, supports us, respect us and trusts us well. Before we can find that ‘someone’, we need to be that person – that includes accepting all faults and short comings of oneself and that of your life partner too. A healthy relationship, essentially, should have a good building up of respect, loyalty, trust and a good admiration for each other; more similar to a house solid basic foundation structure, where the more love and nurturance we put into it, is what makes it a happy home, and a successful and fulfilling life relationship in the years to come.

  31. Ash Ng on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Dear Rinpoche, You have given us some wonderful insights on having relationships with others. I especially agree with the few advises below;

    1) When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first.

    2) Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt.

    I feel these 2 major points encompass all the others and when we are REALLY ready after dealing with our deep seeded insecurities, comfortable and accepting ourselves then only we take the next step. Appreciate Your enlightening insights and You care for us with others. Will put in effort working on these as the essence of Dharma is compassion towards others and not hurting or harming them would be the first priority. Thus, working on oneself first is the key to happiness. Tashi delek

  32. Yvonne Yap on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche! this is a reminder , remind the things we know, but we always forgot.Because you care.

  33. abby on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Love and compassion is the greatest lesson in everyone’s life.
    Yes, Rinpoche may not be the expert, but yes, Rinpoche do care about everyone. And with this compassion, Rinpoche is the Love Guru :)

  34. tenzin llhamo on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    This is the one I like the most. Because of being dishonest, so many relationships are destroyed. How sad! But now that we understand, we must be better. Treat relationships with respect, humility and honesty.

    ‘In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time’

  35. Margaretlee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts and experiences you have encountered with the many stories you were told.

    I think responsibility, honesty, sincerity and intergrity apply to everything we do in our life, be it work or relationship.

    There is a saying that people only starts to know themselves when they are in a relationship, it is indeed true when we realise we always demand this and that from our partner and never gives back, a state of complete self absorption. relationship is about giving and not taking.

    I paticularly like this quote from Rinpoche : “When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche”

    Going to share this blog with many of my samsara friends…..

  36. yekyee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Each of Rinpoche is very logic and make sense. When we choose a relationship, must always our partner with real care and patient. No one is perfect. How can we go along with each other, tolerance is another good deed we need practice. I believe very strongly on it. My aunty friend always with me, it is not easy for two different character person live, eat, play, work together, need so much efforts and patient. I agreed. Thankyou for Rinpoche sharing.

  37. shivani on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I want to know a little about Karmic Connection.We meet people but they leave us yet we cannot earse them

  38. Jace Chong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing these very useful quotes.

    Relationship used to be something very hard for me to juggle in between love and selfishness. When I had quarrel with partner, I always not sure this is because I want him to be my way, or I want my partner to improve. And the definition of improvement is vary to different people.

    “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications. ”

    This is a very practical way. I should not focus on what I want, but what is best for our partner.

    Even Rinpoche didn’t go through all these, Rinpoche understand better than everyone else what should we practice in relationship. Salute to Rinpoche, as always!

  39. Han Siew Fong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    All the advices will sink into my mind. .. and have a better relationship with my partner

    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness.” Tsem Rinpoche

    i contemplated on the above and i do realize the meaning of the quote.

    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful post

  40. Nicholas on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Thanks for Rinpoche advice.

    Found that the teaching is not just for relationship but it is also applicable for anything we do in our life.

    It’s all about care. How much we want to do for others is how much we cares for others.
    We responsible for the relationship because no one can force us. We are the one choose to be and should go all the way. I like this! No point to regret on what we have not done to save the relationship because we can always be the one to take action first.

    It’s not about who love whom more than who suppose to take the first move, it’s how much you love, how much you appreciate and how far you want to go with your relationship.

    This is just applicable for everything in our life.

  41. kenny wong on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Again, thank you for you kind insights. We choose our partners ourselves and have to accept him/her for who she is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the whole. How we percieve and accept our patners is totally up to us, thus we control our own happiness in the relationship. But if we are not generous and cannot lose out in the relationship and must win all the time, we will definately be the one losing at the end…. being unhappy, unfulfilled and bitter.

    Your words of advice are so true and spot on Rinpoche.

  42. skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Dear Rinpoche, thank you very much for the good advises.

    “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the same expectation on yourself.”

    “Trying to put away, hiding, or avoiding relationship issues won’t make them go away. You need to talk over or be clear about it.”

    “Always bringing up and rehashing previous issues mean the issue doesn’t solve go away or it just mean you’re not letting go and keep holding on to it.”

    • skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

      Correction:
      “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the _different_ expectation on yourself.”

  43. Hui Keng on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    LOVE is in the air. Read on baby…How lucky Rinpoche giving advice around the clock! Rinpoche’s love is genuinely unconditional hence it survives all tests and challenges. We are pretty much lucky to have Rinpoche. We have sowed good seeds for this to happen and we must utilise fully given this opportunity. Rinpoche immensely love all of us, even more deeply than what our parents can do.

  44. Irene on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

    But what about a situation in which one partner dominates the whole family, and always expects to be bowed and scraped to. He always complains about how nobody does anything right (like he wants), and threatens to leave if we don’t shape up. I often wonder how much of this is due to his family background. (He grew up in an abusive environment.)

    Don’t get me wrong–he can be charming and generous when he wants to be, but sometimes I think he does it in order to manipulate people. (When we do what he wants, he praises them or gives them little gifts, otherwise he criticizes and sulks.) If things get too quiet, then he’s good at manufacturing drama (like claiming to have a mortal illness), and he just loves to gossip. But he doesn’t think that HE is doing any of this, according to him he’s just humbly following what is right (as he was taught). And somehow he always ends up being the center of attention.

    I’m probably making him sound like a monster, but that’s not right. He can be loyal and compassionate (he loves animals, and gives to charity) and is obviously very hard working and a very good manager. He has the potential to make a positive impact on the world. But we’re in this lopsided relationship with him, in which he gets to set all the conditions, and anyone who can’t accept that can just leave. (He’s alienated a lot of people over the years, although he tells it a different way–who knows what the truth is.) Anyway, Rinpoche, I’m sure you know people like that. What to do…?

    • mrs cheung on Feb 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      dear rinpoche, i also know someone similar to what irene has written here in her reply, plus more. he also flirts with younger women but his sick and old wife could do nothing to stop him. facing such a monster, she could only soar and sob over her misfortune. uneducated, unemployed, unwanted, old and sick. she has no where to run to. what to do…?

  45. freon on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    With folded hand, Thank you Guru

  46. tsemtulku on Feb 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Some thoughts on love and relationships..I am not the expert, but over the years I have to listen to alot of people and I came out with some of my own conclusions…

    • Sophia chung on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Dear Rinpoche,

      Thank you for your advice on relationship. It made me reflect on myself to improve tremendously..
      It was great pleasure to meet u in the gompa last nite. I feel very lucky to receive
      a dharma talk in person from you. Although shocking, It was priceless, the love and effort you put in for
      Your students. Thank you for taking the time to pay us the visit.

      Sophia

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KECHARA FOREST RETREAT PROGRESS UPDATES

Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.

Noticeboard

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  • tsemtulku
    Thursday, May 28. 2015 09:05 PM
    This year I have contemplated even deeper and more stronger on the non-reliance toward beings/phenomena and karma in samsara. What does that mean? It means nothing that is based on karma is reliable. So don’t force karma to be the way you want it to be as it’s not possible. If we keep believing beings/phenomena are reliable, then we will suffer the outcome when the truth of this nature shows up again and again. Due to this, my faith and refuge in Buddha is even stronger and firmer. I only take refuge in Him and Enlightened beings as their actions/motivations can not be controlled by karma and therefore not subject to impermanence. Realizing all beings, their environments and all phenomena arises from and is controlled by karma, I trust nothing and hence develop more renunciation. Nothing that is impermanent can be relied on and if we rely on them, then our samsara will not end soon. Tsem Rinpoche
  • tsemtulku
    Wednesday, May 27. 2015 05:35 AM
    When we do research into our minds and the minds of others, we find we need love, respect and a sense of purpose. The purpose must be broad. Then we find we have lived our lives in the truest sense of living. Tsem Rinpoche
  • tsemtulku
    Tuesday, May 26. 2015 02:32 PM
    When our bodies break down or become sick, we know it is teaching us that it does not belong to us truly and it will degenerate further and it is something borrowed. So while we have it, how much we take care of it, in the end it will have to be abandoned. It’s like putting all our investments into a hotel room we have to vacate soon. Why invest in a room we don’t own? With this temporary body, we should use it to have spiritual developments. The body is a method and not an end in itself. This is most important. Without those developments we are always going to be not ready for the inevitable loss of our body in the end. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, May 25. 2015 01:43 PM
    This Saturday’s Blog Chat topic is “Who is Kache Marpo” on http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/who-is-kache-marpo.html.

    DATE and TIME:
    Saturday 30th May, 11am-12pm (GMT+8)
    USA Friday 29th May, 8pm (PST)

    Looking forward to seeing you again!
  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, May 25. 2015 01:40 PM
    24 May 15, 10:02 AM
    Tsem Rinpoche: May everyone help me to achieve our dream for Kechara Forest Retreat. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Pastor Adeline
    Monday, May 25. 2015 01:38 PM
    Kechara Sunday Dharma School (KSDS) is hosting an Art Exhibition to highlight original and unique art works created by children aged 2 to 10! Each exhibit embodies an aspect of Buddhist practice taught during class, its importance to our youth and features a wide range of expressive materials that will inspire fun and excitement!

    Event details as follows:

    Venue: Kechara Care Lounge
    Date: 31 May (Sunday)
    Time: 9 a.m. – 12 p.m.

    We hope to see you there!

    http://www.kechara.com/kechara-house/news/ksds-art-exhibition/
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 02:08 PM
    I am lucky to have clean running hot and cold water, medications when I get sick, clothes, comfortable room to stay in, food, dry bed, some trees, beautiful altar to make offerings, electricity and clean environment. I have the Buddha and my practice and met my guru. I am grateful for all this. Tsem Rinpoche
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 01:04 PM
    May Lord Manjushri bless us in all his secret, transformative, wrathful, peaceful, mystical, male and female forms to accomplish this for KFR. May KFR become a world class well known centre of learning, practice, tantra and benefit. May we never be separated from this divine Manjushri in lifetime after lifetime and be close to his bosom…. Tsem Rinpoche
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 12:22 PM
    Every morning it would be wonderful to start the day by reciting Tsongkapa’s holy and sacred Migtseyma mantra at least 21 times minimum. This will bless our day. Take refuge in Lord Tsongkapa who became fully enlightened and was predicted by Lord Buddha Shakyamuni Himself. While reciting think of how we can let go of anger and be kind to all that day. To see, hear and contemplate on Lord Tsongkapa a Tri-Cosmic Buddha earns one great waves of merit propelling the practitioner closer to their final goal of liberation. Homage to Tsongkapa whose body, speech and mind are worthy of respect and refuge. Tsem Rinpoche
  • xuliang
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 10:25 AM
    “There have been too many worthy attempts at pursuing the Dharma that have become bogged down in dogma, and so the vitality of it is lost. We can’t live life without structure. But being bound by it is also not living., nor can it truly be practice.”
  • xuliang
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 10:14 AM
    If we suspended belief and disbelief for a moment, where would we be? If there is violence here at all, it is the violence we perpetrate on ourselves, by denying ourselves the love of humanity.
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 10:01 AM
    I guess my one wish now is to establish Kechara Forest Retreat to be a dharma learning centre. Where we have learned sangha who will teach philosophy, rituals, pujas, special rites to live there. I wish to produce among my friends and students dharma meditation teachers, people engaged in retreats and practice intense. I wish to have many local sangha there doing dharma work, learning and benefitting the public. I wish this place to have special emphasis on Panchen Sonam Drakpa’s texts, Vajra Yogini’s tantra, Nagarjuna’s texts, Manjushri, Tsongkapa and Dorje Shugden. To be a premiere place of learning of these subjects and practice. This is my goal. So it produces teachers and practitioners to benefit others. I wish to achieve this once phase two of the building is complete. Tsem Rinpoche
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 10:01 AM
    One of the favorite places I liked to visit was Kathmandu last time. I liked the four holy Vajra Yogini temples in the vicinity. Many of these holy places are not far from Kathmandu. I’ve always had wishes to live in the mountains surrounding Kathmandu. Offering items, spiritual wares, incense, juniper, ghee and whatever is necessary is so easy to obtain. I love making butterlamp offerings daily. Everywhere you look are stupas and reminders of the enlightened mind with temples, statues and holy places. I would have loved to live in the mountains there. When I consulted with my protector via the oracle, he told me not to stay there. I guess I can see why now. But I still long for those mountains very much. Tsem Rinpoche
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 10:01 AM
    “With wide eyes perceiving all things, And compassionately achieving the good of all beings; Having power performing acts beyond thought. Guru Manjunata, to your feet I bow my head.” (Written by Sakya Pandita). Om Ah Ra Baza Na Dhi
  • tsemtulku
    Sunday, May 24. 2015 10:00 AM
    When we do our sadhanas and meditations on our Yidams daily and consistently, we collect much merit to overcome life’s vicissitudes. We also sharpen our mind and keep our minds focused. It is very important to do our sadhanas to our Yidams daily without a miss. This should be our daily priority. More than anything else as this prepares for today, tomorrow and the hereafter. Tsem Rinpoche

1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · »

CREDITS

Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Khong Jean Mei, Justin Ripley, Pastor Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Writer: Pastor Loh Seng Piow
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

What Am I Writing Now


 

The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
3 hours ago
This one single post The Chinese Zodiac on http://www.tsemrinpoche.com has over 115.000 views!!! It's still growing daily.
2 days ago
Please see these nice comments left on my video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxC6uKHM3dY
5 days ago
I like this one from Socrates
6 days ago
Lord Manjushri in Kechara Forest Retreat!
6 days ago
May Lord Manjushri bless us in all his secret, transformative, wrathful, peaceful, mystical, male and female forms to accomplish this for KFR. May KFR become a world class well known centre of learning, practice, tantra and benefit. May we never be separated from this divine Manjushri in lifetime after lifetime and be close to his bosom.... Tsem Rinpoche
6 days ago
Read this about News for profit these days?
6 days ago
Kechara Forest Retreat before/after
6 days ago
Four-Faced Mahakala. Beautiful thangka.
6 days ago
"With wide eyes perceiving all things, And compassionately achieving the good of all beings; Having power performing acts beyond thought. Guru Manjunata, to your feet I bow my head." (Written by Sakya Pandita). Om Ah Ra Baza Na Dhi
7 days ago
This is powerful to remember and contemplate daily. I like this alot. Tsem Rinpoche 
1 week ago
Dear friends, I realize there are just some who karmically cannot shift their minds to higher thoughts of enlightenment embarking on it through cultivation of the 8 Verses, 50 Stanzas, Wheel of Sharp Weapons, Bodhicitta or be inspired by the saints. They just think on the level they think. Please continue reading here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=67631
1 week ago
Click on this picture carefully and read what it says. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 weeks ago
Our Vajra Yogini stupa in Kechara-Malaysia
2 weeks ago
Incredible!!!
2 weeks ago
Wonder if this technology is available in Malaysia?
2 weeks ago
Good to remember
2 weeks ago
Click on photo to enlarge and read message
2 weeks ago
LOL
2 weeks ago
Click on this picture to enlarge and READ---Funny!!
2 weeks ago
Powerful. Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
The Sera Mey Monastery's famous Panglung oracle in full trance of Dorje Shugden. There are a few recognized oracles of Dorje Shugden.Tsem Rinpoche 
2 weeks ago
The Gaden Shartse Monastery's Dorje Shugden oracle in full trance of Dorje Shugden. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 weeks ago
9pm, Tsem Ladrang (private residence of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche) is always busy with different people doing different things simultaneously, such a great team. 晚上9点,詹拉章(尊贵的詹杜固仁波切的私人住所)各人员在忙着个别事务,经常很多活动同时进行着,好棒的一个团队。
2 weeks ago
Four Armed White Sarswati: OM VAJRA DEWI PICU PICU PRAJNA-WARDHA HRIM HUM
2 weeks ago
Mantra of Nageshvaraja Buddha: TAD-YATHA TATHAGATE BHAGAWAN-NAGA-RAJESWARA ADHISTHANA ADISTHITE SWAHA
2 weeks ago
Long Manjushri Mantra: NAMO MANJUSRIYE KUMARA BHUTAYA BODHISATTVAYA MAHASATTVAYA MAHAKARUNIKAYA TADYATHA OM ARADZE BIRADZE SHUDDHE BISHUDDHE SHODHAYA BISHODHAYE AMALE BIMALE NIRMALE DZAYAVARE RURUTSALE HUM HUM HUM PHAT PHAT PHAT SVAHA
2 weeks ago
Manjusri Naga-Raksasa Short mantra: Om Phe Lam Hum Long mantra: Nagpo Tipaca Naga-raksa Om Phe Lam Hum
2 weeks ago
Kechara Forest Retreat before and after. What a huge difference. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 weeks ago
This beautiful Tibetan 'bak' (mask) gift arrived for me yesterday. I love it. It is beautiful. I really appreciate it. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
Poverty of the spirit
3 weeks ago
Important to change
3 weeks ago
Good to remember.
3 weeks ago
Viewer discretion advised on this post: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=66575
3 weeks ago
This is powerful. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
This is super cute video. Must see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RX5ESo4yGo
3 weeks ago
We should never stay stagnant but keep learning and improving. Then we live full lives. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
Don't always say we don't know this or that. We can ask others. We can do searches on internet. We can learn and excel if we want to. This is the age of information and ignorance is a choice for most. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
Walking around with my trusted Beng Kooi and Pastor Seng Piow awhile back.
3 weeks ago
This is from my blog post-DORJE SHUGDEN: MY SIDE OF THE STORY. How rewarding to see this. More and more Tibetans are saying this video/contents is helpful to them. I am so happy about this. See: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=65988
3 weeks ago
Mumu has the cutest face ever. I love you Mumu. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
We have a duty to keep our words of honour to our gurus. Keeping these words of honour builds integrity as well as create causes for higher attainments in our mind. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
Lew's card with the bigfoot gift.
3 weeks ago
Look at this thoughtful gift presented to me today by a very kind person who I respect a lot. Lew is hardworking and thoughtful in his own quiet way. When people present a gift, it's not always something they pick up at the store, but something they thought out just for you is always touching. They thought it out, planned it and had you in mind when they made it. Thank you Lew. I really like everything about bigfoot and I will add to my collection. Tsem Rinpoche More: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/…/catego…/yeti-bigfoot-sasquatch
3 weeks ago
Candles offered to Lord Tsongkapa in Kechara. Beautiful. Tsem Rinpoche 
3 weeks ago
I've decided to speak about how I first became connected with Dorje Shugden, why I practice and continue to do so, the monasteries, the CTA (previously known as Exiled Tibetan Government), China, relations between China and Tibet, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, our lineage lamas, my teacher, H.H. Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche, the protests and how we can resolve this ban issue. Please continue here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=65988
3 weeks ago
Very nice letter...must read.
3 weeks ago
Was gifted 55 beautiful Dorje Shugden tsatsas tody. Thank you.
3 weeks ago
Our aviary for rescued birds in Kechara is 4,000 square feet. Plenty of space to fly and stretch wings. :)
Click on "View All Photos" above to view more images

Videos On The Go

Please click on the images to watch video
  • Bigfoot arrives!!!
    2 days ago
    Bigfoot arrives!!!
    Tsem Rinpoche is an avid follower of the paranormal such as bigfoots. For more interesting writings and posts on the subject, please go to http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/category/yeti-bigfoot-sasquatch
  • Mumu Loves Snack!
    3 days ago
    Mumu Loves Snack!
  • -
    1 week ago
    For H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, a blog post is not just a blog post but Dharma work that generates merits which should be dedicated. Click here to find out what blog post Rinpoche was dedicating the merits for when he recited this prayer: http://bit.ly/1KiXWf9 ~Ani Lobsang Pema
  • -
    1 week ago
    Panchen Lama in Beijing on CCTV - China's official news. The respect and position they give His Holiness Panchen Lama is great.
  • Magical fish tank with Buddha statue
    1 week ago
    Magical fish tank with Buddha statue
  • His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Dorje Chang chants the prayer of Dorje Shugden
    2 weeks ago
    His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Dorje Chang chants the prayer of Dorje Shugden
  • Gongkar the bird at Kechara Forest Retreat
    3 weeks ago
    Gongkar the bird at Kechara Forest Retreat
    For much more information, pictures and videos about the rescued birds at the aviary of Kechara Forest Retreat, click here: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/aviary-kfr.html
  • Watch Dorje Shugden: My Side Of The Story. Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxC6uKHM3dY
    3 weeks ago
    Watch Dorje Shugden: My Side Of The Story. Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxC6uKHM3dY
  • A step by step explanation of Dorje Shugden's iconography in 3D!
    3 weeks ago
    A step by step explanation of Dorje Shugden's iconography in 3D!
  • Another Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo
    3 months ago
    Another Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo
  • A Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo
    3 months ago
    A Dharma Talk by Tenzin Palmo
  • Tenzin Palmo talk - Part 2
    3 months ago
    Tenzin Palmo talk - Part 2
  • Tenzin Palmo talk - Part 1
    3 months ago
    Tenzin Palmo talk - Part 1
  • Tenzin Palmo talk - Part 3
    3 months ago
    Tenzin Palmo talk - Part 3
  • Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche & Kyabje Ling Rinpoche doing Lama Chöpa in Bodhgaya in the 60s
    4 months ago
    Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche & Kyabje Ling Rinpoche doing Lama Chöpa in Bodhgaya in the 60s
    In the 1960s, H.H. Yongzin Kyabje Ling Rinpoche would always organize Lama Chöpa (Guru puja-composed by Panchen Rinpoche) with 1000 offerings in Bodhgaya and would often be joined in by H.H. Yongzin Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche, and sometimes the 16th Karmapa would even join in. Wonderful. Watch this blessed and old footage of the two Yongzins doing Lama Chöpa in Bodhgaya. Yongzin is the special title to those who were the root and close teachers of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. There were two official Yongzins. Trijang Rinpoche and Ling Rinpoche were the Yongzins of the current Dalai Lama for over 40 years living nearby to Dalai Lama and passing him all the teachings necessary. They were extremely kind and giving all necessary teachings, empowerments and oral transmissions that Dalai Lama is disseminating to the world today to millions. Tsem Rinpoche http://www.tsemrinpoche.com

ASK A PASTOR


A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

Scroll down and click on "View All Questions" to view archived questions.

View All Questions

CHAT PICTURES

20 minutes ago
The topic for today's blog chat is "Who is Karhe Marpo?"_PB
22 minutes ago
Puja House staff and volunteers participate in the blog chat every Saturday_ PB
28 minutes ago
Puja House joining in blog chat sharing session. Today blog chat learning is about Who is Kache Marpo. By Puja House 30 May'15
2 hours ago
Yes Chef! Great team work! This is the second time Sodexo is partnering Kechara Soup Kitchen in their CSR called Servathon to serve 700 hungry stomachs. DR.
3 hours ago
700 homeless, urban poor and orphans will be served specially prepared meals by Sodexo this morning. Each of them will also receive a goody bag containing items specially picked to serve their need. DR.
3 hours ago
Chefs and staffs of Sodexo preparing to serve 700 of Kechara Soup Kitchen's homeless clients in conjunction with World Hunger Day. DR.
14 hours ago
Love, care and delication all in one. You'll see it here at KSDS Art Exhibition, 31/5/15, Sunday, 9am - 12pm. Stella
14 hours ago
Superheroes gathering at KC Lounge tonight. Cool... Stella
15 hours ago
Everyday we have Dorje Shugden Puja to do for sponsors. By Puja House 29 May'15
15 hours ago
Sheningdundok Puja did at Puja House this afternoon to clear Sponsor obstacles. Sheningdundok Puja also known as Heart Sutra Puja. By Puja House 29 May 15
15 hours ago
Beautiful torma offer during Drolchok Puja today. By Puja House 29 May'15
15 hours ago
FATHER A real man loves his wife, And places his family as The most important thing in life. Let celebrate Father's Day on 21 June 2015 Please call for reservation now at Kechara Oasis. Guat Hee
18 hours ago
Jailin was being sent to Hospital Sg Buloh to cure his serious Tuberculosis today. He was admitted thorough checks performed by the doctors. He will be staying in the hospital for the next six months to begin his recovery programme. May he recover from this serious illness soon. Justin@KSK
19 hours ago
Pastor Lanse and Pastor Seng Piow's relatives paid a visit to Kechara House. They were given a tour to our various departments by Pastor Adeline . Lucy Yap
21 hours ago
Today is Mimi's birthday and she has kindly bought cup cakes and red hard boiled eggs for our walk in clients. Two popular items in our menu. This has not only put a smile on our clients' faces but it is nice to see everyone wishing Mimi a very happy birthday upon collecting their food. In the end of the day, everyone feeling fulfilled serving in the kitchen. Mimi is one of our full time staff and works as an administrator in the office. StanChart team were fabulous today too. Justin@KSK
yesterday
Latest update on the progress of the Children Arts Exhibition on Sunday 31st May 2015 at Kechara Lounge 9am - 12pm. Paul Yap
yesterday
Adorable, cute children from Kechara Kids Dharma School (KSDS) making Buddha & monks figurines for Buddha garden .Look out for these lovely creations during the Children Arts Exhibition on Sunday 31st May 2015 at 9am - 12 pm. Lucy Yap.
yesterday
Day 2: yummy breakfast bento prepared by Kechara Oasis for Kolisko Conference.Malaysia. Lucy Yap
yesterday
My angelic dharma sister is going to make contribution towards Aviary to plant a seed, so that our small effort in spreading the news will bring in more kind sponsorships in the future. Thank you sister. Stella
yesterday
Anna and Seven put in a whole night for the chicken farm backdrop. Before that, Anna single handedly built the chicken pen...You will get to see it this Sunday at KSDS Art Exhibition. Stella
2 days ago
For extra deliciousness meal, head to everyone's favorite vegetarian restaurant Kechara Oasis. https://www.facebook.com/kecharaoasis. Lucy Yap
2 days ago
Part II of the "shark shape" watermelon.The children in KSDS are enjoyed the fruits which were prepared by the caring dharma teachers.-Alice Tay-
2 days ago
This watermelon in Shark shape is created by one of the dharma teacher of Kechara Sunday Dharma School (KSDS).You are cordially invited to the first KSDS Children Art Exhibition on 31/5/2015 (Sun) from 9am - 12pm to see the creativity of the art works have been done.-Alice Tay-
2 days ago
Nice shapshot taken at the main entrance of Kuantan Dharma Study Group. - Alice Tay -
2 days ago
Nice altar setup in Kuantan Dharma Study Group. - Alice Tay -

 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Click to watch my talk about Dorje Shugden....