Some thoughts on love relationships

Feb 23, 2012 | Views: 28,653
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Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to  destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche


The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships,  being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you. ~Tsem Rinpoche


Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion,  genuine care, sharing and honesty. Tsem Rinpoche


In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your  relationship will grow stronger and better with time. ~Tsem Rinpoche


What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.  Tsem Rinpoche


It takes a years to earn the trust of your spouse, but one selfish mistake to break their heart. Then years to regain their trust again. Just be honest from the beginning and always be loyal. Tsem Rinpoche


There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche


Everyone has so much pain already. No one is not damaged goods. So why bring more pain to your partner. Love, cherish and respect your partner by being honest and always communicating. Tsem Rinpoche


I am sorry is ok once, twice but not three times. If you are always apologizing, maybe you are not respecting the relationship you are in. Either respect your relationship or create a prison. It’s up to you. Tsem Rinpoche


Love is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for selfish reasons. Tsem Rinpoche


No one forced you to have a relationship. So do not make excuses for hurting your partner. Take responsibility for all your actions starting with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche


When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues. Tsem Rinpoche


All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it…Tsem Rinpoche


When we look back and see how many partners we have changed, we can be sure it is a sign we have not fulfilled what we should be doing in life. Finding partners is just a delay tactic perhaps for what we should really be doing..Tsem Rinpoche


Partners and spouses are only ok to have when we are ok. Tsem Rinpoche


Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt. Tsem Rinpoche


The best way to hurt yourself and your partner is when you use them to hide  behind your selfish avoidances. Tsem Rinpoche


When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche


If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness. Tsem Rinpoche


You deserve what you give. The universe owes you nothing. But you owe the universe everything. Be comfortable with that thought first and then seek friends. Tsem Rinpoche


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49 Responses to Some thoughts on love relationships


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  1. Louisa on Jan 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    I’m always learning and practising loving people around me unconditionally. Although I did not love my parents the way they expect, i still love them but they can never get enough. Just because I dont love them the way they want and they thought I dont love them. I really upset and dont know what more I can do.

  2. Carmen Lin @ KMP on Sep 23, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts, with folded hands. What Rinpoche said is very truth and applicable to anyone of all walks of life. I will read it again and again when friends of mine had relationship problem or I myself having the problem, I can know where to find the solution and words of advice. Thank you again Rinpoche, for your efforts to enhance the lives of others.

  3. [...] is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for [...]

  4. Joy on Feb 14, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. ~ Tsem Rinpoche

    I like this quote the best… it is really true… most of us get in to a relationship for all the wrong reasons. They think life is like some Hollywood fantasy and they go chasing after this idealistic dream which in the end hurts us more than anything else when it does not fit our projections and expectations. And when get in to a relationship we tend to forget ourselves and our whole life revolves around that person, we do whatever that person wants, wishes, and sometimes we even allow ourselves to be use and abuse… all in the name of love. And we become dependent of this person like a puppet. I have seen this in so many of my friends… is it really love? Or is it because of our own insecurities and selfish reasons?

    Being true and comfortable with yourself, knowing who you are, where you stand and dealing with your own self first is far better because then when we do enter a relationship, we compliment the other instead of epecting, we give, instead of depending, we’re interdependent and it is a mutual, two way street kind of thing, where both can grow individually and together… especially if both partners were doing spirit Dharma practice together… it becomes a blessing to one another instead of an obstacle. A couple like this is a big inspiration…

  5. Paris on Feb 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Rereading this again this Valentines’ day and thinking about how, at the heart of everything, is this real gritty honesty that we all need to look at, in every of our relationships. Once the razzle dazzle of moonlight, flowers and chocolates dies down, we are left ourselves to ourselves – then what?

    Then we start creating problems, either for ourselves, our parents, or both. The relationship itself doesn’t go wrong; nor is it our partner’s fault when things don’t peter out the way we want it to. At the end of the day, we have to remember that it takes two hands to clap and to ask ourselves what it is that *I* am doing right or wrong?

    Remember too, whenever things are tough, of the good times, the positive stuff and why it is we fell in love in the first place. Good always wins over the evil and yes, I do still believe that love can make the world go round, if only we stick with it.

  6. Paris on Feb 3, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    To add to this, Rinpoche gave a wonderful teaching on how to maintain a successful relationship at one of his students’ wedding a few years ago. I remember it being an especially beautiful teaching because the girl was Buddhist but the boy was Christian – and the advice given was just as relevant for both. Relive the teaching here! (it comes in three parts)

    David Lai has also written a book about relationships based on these teachings – a very cute way of presenting different thoughts on relationships, but with this same underlying message that Rinpoche gives us. Here! “Conversations in Love”:

  7. Jessica Yap on Dec 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Everything begins with me, myself, and I. How i feel, how i react to situations, how i treat others, everything is from me. These quotes should be read every now and then to contemplate on..

    Thank you for the profound quotes, Rinpoche!

  8. mitra on Jun 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    good advice for every one.

  9. Wan Wai Meng on Mar 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    These are really thought provoking thoughts about relationships. Thank you sharing them, such quotes will really help people think about what they are doing.

  10. su_zan on Mar 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Dear Rinpche thank you for all the above quotes. It reminds me of the talk you give during my wedding day.

    For me the above quotes not only apply on a couple relationship, it applies to all kinds of relationships (friends, teachers, family, children and etc)

    One of which is
    “Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche”

  11. Melinda yap on Mar 1, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,
    Thank you for your thoughts and advice on love and relationships. It is so so true what Rinpoche has shared. After reading, I looked back and pondered about my past relationships… It is true in order for a relationship to be in harmony,both parties should be honest plus have respect for each other from the beginning of the relationship. This will in time gives security and stability to the relationship…I love all the above thoughts by Rinpoche on love & relationships…I’ll save it so I could remind myself what love and relationship is all about! ;-)

  12. Albert Ratchaga on Feb 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for the quotes, some times we can be very possessive when we love someone, either to our partner or family, we tend to be very controlling, and the reason of being like this is just because “I LOVE YOU”.

    just a simple word I Love You, it became a manifestation of our selfishness, instead of accepting the person we love, we tend to turn them into our ideally person to be. we expect everything from them but giving nothing from ourselves… so are we really loving them or we actually loves ourselves more? Is love a taking or giving?

  13. Julia Tan on Feb 29, 2012 at 3:05 am

    “All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it”

    Something as simple as saying NO and we can avoid hurting ourselves and our partners. We didn’t do it. We let it be.

    If you truly love your partners, do something about it, before it is too late..

  14. Uncle Lai on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Thank you once again Rinpoche for all the wonderful quotes on love and relationships. You are the most caring person, always look into us and find ways to explain and teach how to live a happier life.

    Of all the quotes I like this the most. ‘In all relationships honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time.’ I fully agree with that because if we are honest we will not cheat, we dont lie, we trust and we are humble. I think this is so because it comes from inside us,

  15. patsy on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for sharing these useful quotes which we can use not only in relationships but with every one whether its friends relationship or love relationship. When we care for others and treat them well with respect, we will get the results of being treated well by others too.

    I like this one, “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.”

  16. Li Kheng on Feb 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for this insightful post on relationships. We spend so much time chasing after prince/princess charming whom we believe will make our world a better place. We often forget to consider using ourselves to make someone else’s world a better place. Thank you Rinpoche for this reminder. I especially like this quote:

    “There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche”

  17. Amala Sheilagh Mercer on Feb 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you , this is something , Dear Tsem Rinpoche, I will print put and read often ,I may also share it often to anyone open to reading it. And a copy in my washsroom, never know who reads the only reading matterial available to them there, I truly, realize and not all that long ago, that, there is an emotional love and then there is unconditional love,. That is a start , I believe, even though, this only scratches the surface, because of an out of body experience, it was difficult to fathom that much love . Yet changed my life. Now this here to read and remind me. .
    Love and Blessings
    Amala Sheilagh

  18. vc on Feb 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Dear All,
    All of your opinions about relationship maybe right or wrong.But all you haven’t got there yet.To get out of six defiling objects from your mind.All of you are subjected to six dusts defiling senses which all of you are attracted to such as beauty,intelligent,smell,senses.Be honest to yourself and speak the truth.Don’t go and claim yourself you are the GOD and not attracted to anything and swear and curse others when you are now wearing the ‘Human Body’. If you think don’t like this world you can always calm your mind and return to the source,the Origin and achieve perfect enlightenment like the Buddha.If you think you like what you are doing,just go with the flow and don’t complain.

  19. Li Kim on Feb 25, 2012 at 5:23 am

    These quotes are true and real. Not the usual mambo jumbo you get in books and cards. Many of the quotes from Rinpoche brought back the sweet and fond memories of relationships for me. I am not bitter la but can say that I have become slightly disenchanted. I think that I will just enjoy the quotes and not think too much into relationships.

    “When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues.” – this applies to many I must say…

  20. Datuk May on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    The quote I like best is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty”. I totally agree with this and in my own view love is not confined to couples and family only but rather it is universal and to be practised unconditionally.

    Love is tough to give as it challenges our selfishness, ego etc etc that concocts most negative emotions in most people. Being as delusional as we are, we think we are in bliss when there is love.

    I totally disagree that Rinpoche is not an expert in relationships and love, if the above quote is what attracts me then it is true for me that Rinpoche is the only one person I know that truly gives love to every sentient being.

    Now that is tough to practise.

  21. Jean Ai on Feb 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    After reading this, putting it alongside the video Rinpoche sent to us (, I gotta add to this post – never choose someone on the basis of their looks! It all fades with age, no matter how rich, poor, fat or skinny you are! And death comes to everyone, so how do you want to live your relationship? With anger, disharmony and bitterness, or do you want your relationship to be the cause of something bigger and better? Rinpoche always says some relationships drag people down, and others lead to better things…if yours is the former, time to stop being selfish and let go, both for your benefit and for your partner’s!

  22. vc on Feb 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Rinpoche is very lucky to have get out of samsara and not involve in opposite sex relationships.Everyone should think they are indeed lucky and have the privilege to left the home life and seek the Way.We can only see what is worldly and not transcendental.This life is not just about humanity but transcendental to the ultimate reality.Nirvana.

  23. Wee Liang on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:43 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you so much for the dharma talk last night. Also thank you very much for all the quotes on love and relationships. Its very enlightening, makes me reflect. My favourite quote is ‘The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you.’ This one is harddddddd.

    Wee Liang

  24. Any Loke on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Wow, is so true about what Rinpoche wrote. But, human is really selfish, sometimes, we never think that the problem of the relationship is actually created by oursleves. After all the teachings and Puja that I have done it really helped so much in all aspects.

  25. bengkooi on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these thought provoking quotes. My favourite is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty.”

    To share with those who have not had the fortune to hear one of Rinpoche’s talks about relationships… As Rinpoche has said many times, a dharma relationship is different from a secular relationship because we are not in it just for ourselves. When we enter a dharma relationship, we must be determined to make it last. We must be determined to make it work regardless of whatever problems come along. We cannot just try things out because we may hurt the other person and that is a big no no.

    Its good to be aware of these things, because there are people who jump into relationships or even dharma relationships unaware of what it really entails and the commitment that we must put in.

    Bottom line – dont hurt others.
    Bottom bottom line: be a monk/nun!

  26. Khoo HH on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for the sharing on love relationships.
    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness”
    How can we hurt a person if we truly love that person, and we know that the person also love us. I think “Selfishness” is the only explaination on this. A lot of time we are treating our partner good because we wanted to feel good, not because we want our partner to feel good. I have heard of this situation a lot of times from people around me. A guy wanted to bring his girlfriend for a nice dinner because he wanted to make his girlfriend happy. But he got angry with his girlfriend when she took a long time to makeup. Suppose to be a romantic dinner, ended up with a quarrel in the house. I will always think, what is the objective of this dinner? To not miss the reserved table, or to make your partner happy? Perhaps he thought that his effort of booking the table is greater than his partner. I think if a couple truly love each other, even a roadside stall will be a romantic dinner.

  27. SEreNa on Feb 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Thanks for Rinpoche sharing on some thoughts for love and relationships.

    We must always remember to share and communicate with our love partner for every challenges we face in life. You have make your choice to spend the rest of your life with the loved one. SO, Be responsible and respect to the loved one. Don’t be selfish as pain will arise to the loved one including youself.

  28. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is….

  29. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    “And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is”

  30. Uncle Eddie on Feb 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Is love all we need to make a successful and fulfilling life relationship? Obviously, not all love relationships are the “Life Partnership kind”. It is important to realise and recognise that, and be okay with that. We can learn so much from the experiences of past relationships, to change towards the better, to a more adaptable, improved and acceptable one for both partners. It is everyone’s goal to have the desire of finding a life partner who caters to one’s entire needs and satisfaction. We all want someone who looks good, always make us laugh, supports us, respect us and trusts us well. Before we can find that ‘someone’, we need to be that person – that includes accepting all faults and short comings of oneself and that of your life partner too. A healthy relationship, essentially, should have a good building up of respect, loyalty, trust and a good admiration for each other; more similar to a house solid basic foundation structure, where the more love and nurturance we put into it, is what makes it a happy home, and a successful and fulfilling life relationship in the years to come.

  31. Ash Ng on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Dear Rinpoche, You have given us some wonderful insights on having relationships with others. I especially agree with the few advises below;

    1) When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first.

    2) Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt.

    I feel these 2 major points encompass all the others and when we are REALLY ready after dealing with our deep seeded insecurities, comfortable and accepting ourselves then only we take the next step. Appreciate Your enlightening insights and You care for us with others. Will put in effort working on these as the essence of Dharma is compassion towards others and not hurting or harming them would be the first priority. Thus, working on oneself first is the key to happiness. Tashi delek

  32. Yvonne Yap on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche! this is a reminder , remind the things we know, but we always forgot.Because you care.

  33. abby on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Love and compassion is the greatest lesson in everyone’s life.
    Yes, Rinpoche may not be the expert, but yes, Rinpoche do care about everyone. And with this compassion, Rinpoche is the Love Guru :)

  34. tenzin llhamo on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    This is the one I like the most. Because of being dishonest, so many relationships are destroyed. How sad! But now that we understand, we must be better. Treat relationships with respect, humility and honesty.

    ‘In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time’

  35. Margaretlee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts and experiences you have encountered with the many stories you were told.

    I think responsibility, honesty, sincerity and intergrity apply to everything we do in our life, be it work or relationship.

    There is a saying that people only starts to know themselves when they are in a relationship, it is indeed true when we realise we always demand this and that from our partner and never gives back, a state of complete self absorption. relationship is about giving and not taking.

    I paticularly like this quote from Rinpoche : “When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche”

    Going to share this blog with many of my samsara friends…..

  36. yekyee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Each of Rinpoche is very logic and make sense. When we choose a relationship, must always our partner with real care and patient. No one is perfect. How can we go along with each other, tolerance is another good deed we need practice. I believe very strongly on it. My aunty friend always with me, it is not easy for two different character person live, eat, play, work together, need so much efforts and patient. I agreed. Thankyou for Rinpoche sharing.

  37. shivani on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I want to know a little about Karmic Connection.We meet people but they leave us yet we cannot earse them

  38. Jace Chong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing these very useful quotes.

    Relationship used to be something very hard for me to juggle in between love and selfishness. When I had quarrel with partner, I always not sure this is because I want him to be my way, or I want my partner to improve. And the definition of improvement is vary to different people.

    “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications. ”

    This is a very practical way. I should not focus on what I want, but what is best for our partner.

    Even Rinpoche didn’t go through all these, Rinpoche understand better than everyone else what should we practice in relationship. Salute to Rinpoche, as always!

  39. Han Siew Fong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    All the advices will sink into my mind. .. and have a better relationship with my partner

    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness.” Tsem Rinpoche

    i contemplated on the above and i do realize the meaning of the quote.

    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful post

  40. Nicholas on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Thanks for Rinpoche advice.

    Found that the teaching is not just for relationship but it is also applicable for anything we do in our life.

    It’s all about care. How much we want to do for others is how much we cares for others.
    We responsible for the relationship because no one can force us. We are the one choose to be and should go all the way. I like this! No point to regret on what we have not done to save the relationship because we can always be the one to take action first.

    It’s not about who love whom more than who suppose to take the first move, it’s how much you love, how much you appreciate and how far you want to go with your relationship.

    This is just applicable for everything in our life.

  41. kenny wong on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Again, thank you for you kind insights. We choose our partners ourselves and have to accept him/her for who she is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the whole. How we percieve and accept our patners is totally up to us, thus we control our own happiness in the relationship. But if we are not generous and cannot lose out in the relationship and must win all the time, we will definately be the one losing at the end…. being unhappy, unfulfilled and bitter.

    Your words of advice are so true and spot on Rinpoche.

  42. skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Dear Rinpoche, thank you very much for the good advises.

    “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the same expectation on yourself.”

    “Trying to put away, hiding, or avoiding relationship issues won’t make them go away. You need to talk over or be clear about it.”

    “Always bringing up and rehashing previous issues mean the issue doesn’t solve go away or it just mean you’re not letting go and keep holding on to it.”

    • skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

      “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the _different_ expectation on yourself.”

  43. Hui Keng on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    LOVE is in the air. Read on baby…How lucky Rinpoche giving advice around the clock! Rinpoche’s love is genuinely unconditional hence it survives all tests and challenges. We are pretty much lucky to have Rinpoche. We have sowed good seeds for this to happen and we must utilise fully given this opportunity. Rinpoche immensely love all of us, even more deeply than what our parents can do.

  44. Irene on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

    But what about a situation in which one partner dominates the whole family, and always expects to be bowed and scraped to. He always complains about how nobody does anything right (like he wants), and threatens to leave if we don’t shape up. I often wonder how much of this is due to his family background. (He grew up in an abusive environment.)

    Don’t get me wrong–he can be charming and generous when he wants to be, but sometimes I think he does it in order to manipulate people. (When we do what he wants, he praises them or gives them little gifts, otherwise he criticizes and sulks.) If things get too quiet, then he’s good at manufacturing drama (like claiming to have a mortal illness), and he just loves to gossip. But he doesn’t think that HE is doing any of this, according to him he’s just humbly following what is right (as he was taught). And somehow he always ends up being the center of attention.

    I’m probably making him sound like a monster, but that’s not right. He can be loyal and compassionate (he loves animals, and gives to charity) and is obviously very hard working and a very good manager. He has the potential to make a positive impact on the world. But we’re in this lopsided relationship with him, in which he gets to set all the conditions, and anyone who can’t accept that can just leave. (He’s alienated a lot of people over the years, although he tells it a different way–who knows what the truth is.) Anyway, Rinpoche, I’m sure you know people like that. What to do…?

    • mrs cheung on Feb 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      dear rinpoche, i also know someone similar to what irene has written here in her reply, plus more. he also flirts with younger women but his sick and old wife could do nothing to stop him. facing such a monster, she could only soar and sob over her misfortune. uneducated, unemployed, unwanted, old and sick. she has no where to run to. what to do…?

  45. freon on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    With folded hand, Thank you Guru

  46. tsemtulku on Feb 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Some thoughts on love and relationships..I am not the expert, but over the years I have to listen to alot of people and I came out with some of my own conclusions…

    • Sophia chung on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Dear Rinpoche,

      Thank you for your advice on relationship. It made me reflect on myself to improve tremendously..
      It was great pleasure to meet u in the gompa last nite. I feel very lucky to receive
      a dharma talk in person from you. Although shocking, It was priceless, the love and effort you put in for
      Your students. Thank you for taking the time to pay us the visit.


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Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site:


Name: Email:
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  • Lucy Yap
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 10:36 PM

    The offering of the mandala is one of the four main preliminary practices in Vajrayana Buddhism. This is one of the fastest ways to accumulate vast amounts of merit to sustain and advance in our spiritual practice in order to gain realisations.

    In this dharma talk, Pastor David Lai will explain the correct way of engaging in the Mandala Offering of the 37 Heaps, the significance of each offering and the accompanying visualisations. He will also be talking about various aspects of correct Dharma attitude and how to cultivate this type of mind. For more information:
  • Lucy Yap
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 10:17 PM
    H.E.The 25th Tsem Rinpoche’s third incarnation. Thonmi Sambhota is the 3rd incarnation of H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche. Born in 619, he hailed from the Thonmi clan of Central Tibet. His father, Tonmi Anu Ragata, was a minister in the court of Emperor Songtsen Gampo. Read more :
  • Jill Yam
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 10:15 PM
    “Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future; concentrate the mind on the present moment”

    It is more important to keep our focus at the things that we are doing now than to worry about the future or dwell in regrets of the past.
  • jillyam
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 10:09 AM
    Magadha Sangyo – Read about this incredible female devotee of Lord Buddha and who is also the 1st Incarnation of H.E. The 25th Tsem Rinpoche.
  • Pastor Yek Yee月谊讲法师
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 02:19 AM
    President Vladimir Putin opened his visit to Buryatia by visiting Ivilga Datsan, the main monastery of the Buddhist Traditional Sangha in Russia. (
  • Lucy Yap
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 01:37 AM
    2015 Tsongkhapa Day Light Offering Package

    Be the first to review this product
    Celebrate the kindness of Lama Tsongkhapa with offerings of light on Tsongkhapa Day this 5th December 2015. Making offerings on such auspicious days multiplies the benefits and merit accumulated from virtuous deeds, which can be dedicated to the fulfilment of one’s wishes and the flourishing of Lama Tsongkhapa’s holy teachings.

    Choose from three packages of 21 candles, 49 candles or 108 candles, all available at a promotional price for a LIMITED TIME only. Promotion ends 12am GMT +8, 3rd December 2015.
  • Lucy Yap
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 01:33 AM
    The Wheel of Sharp Weapons, a basic text for the Mahayana training of the mind, was composed by the great yogi Dharmarakshita. It was brought to Tibet by the great Indian Pandit Atisha (982-1054) and was translated from Sanskrit into Tibetan by Atisha and his main disciple Upasaka Drom Tonpa. Watch Rinpoche gave a very clear and powerful commentary on this classic text. Although the text was composed 1000 years ago, Tsem Rinpoche showed us how it is still very much applicable today, simply amazing…
  • jillyam
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 01:07 AM
    Giving a rescue dog a home will not change the world, but for that one dog, their world will change forever.
  • jillyam
    Sunday, Nov 29. 2015 12:57 AM
    My Childhood In Taiwan. Read who and how this special lady help and love me when I was a young boy – H.E. The 25th Teem Rinpoche.
  • Tsem Rinpoche
    Saturday, Nov 28. 2015 05:52 PM
    There are many disturbed people out there…..See this 6 min video. How this guy is caught with overwhelming evidence, yet can still lie, stay cool and stay calm. He is a very good liar and has no feelings for others at all.Their purpose is to harm, take advantage and use others for their own purpose. If they cannot use, they harm.They have no feelings nor capable of feelings for others. Their sole purpose is for themselves as the detriment of others and they look so ordinary, so innocent but have no feelings:
  • Cynthia Ng
    Saturday, Nov 28. 2015 02:44 PM
    What is integrity? Integrity basically means that you honor what you promised. You honor your word. You honor your commitments. So whatever you say from your mouth you do it. Whatever you promised, you do it. Whatever you have committed to, you do it. And you know, unless it’s a life and death circumstance, then you can’t do it, or if it’s a very powerful extenuating circumstance that you can’t do it, all right. And you go and explain, and you tell, and you share and you say why you can’t do it but otherwise, you gotta get it done.
  • Cynthia Ng
    Saturday, Nov 28. 2015 02:35 PM
    Dharma work is something of a blessing, privilege and honour. We should never do Dharma work thinking we are doing the centre, our guru, others and Buddha a favour.

    Dharma Work & TDL (附中文字幕) read more here:…
  • xuliang
    Saturday, Nov 28. 2015 10:21 AM
    Ideals in any form are an escape from the understanding of what is. Ideals, however noble and however fine, have no reality: they are fictitious. It is more important to understand what is than to pursue or to follow an ideal or an example or a pattern of action. We have innumerable ideals – peace, nonviolence, nongreed, etc. – within which our minds are enclosed; they are not really factual, they are nonexistent. Since they are nonexistent, of what value are they? Do they help us to understand our conflict, our violence, our greed? Are they not a hindrance to such understanding? Will this screen of ideals help us to understand arrogance and corruption? Can a violent man be nonviolent through the ideal of nonviolence? Must we not put aside the screen of ideals and examine violence? Will the ideal help to bring about understanding? Is evil understood through the ideal of good? Or is evil transformed – not through the ideal, not through the pursuit of its opposite – but in facing it without resistance and understanding it. Does not the ideal in any form prevent the understanding of what is?
    Surely, we have each one tried the pursuit of the opposites and are caught in the conflict bred by the opposite. We are familiar with the constant struggle of the opposites, of the thesis and of the antithesis, and hoping to arrive at a synthesis – capitalism in conflict with the left – hoping to arrive at a synthesis, that synthesis again creating its own opposite, and again producing a synthesis, and so on and on. We are familiar with this state.
    Now, is this struggle necessary? Is not this struggle unreal? Is not the opposite itself unreal? What is the real, the actual? The opposite is fictitious, not real. The actual is greed. The ideal of nongreed is nonexistent; it is the creation of the mind giving it an opportunity to escape from what is.
    If we have no ideals, will we collapse, will we fall apart? Are our ideals acting as a dam against evil and unkind action? Is our ideal of nonviolence preventing us from being nonviolent? Obviously, it is not. So, ideals are nonexistent except in theory, and therefore valueless. An idealist is really a man who is escaping, avoiding direct action with regard to what is. By removing the ideals, will the weak-minded be thrown off their feet? The weak-minded are thrown off their feet anyhow by the politicians, by the gurus, by the priests, by the innumerable ceremonies and exploitations, but the man who is strong anyhow disregards the ideals and pursues what he wants. So, neither the weak nor the strong pay any attention to ideals. The ideal is a convenient easy cover for false and thoughtless action. The ideal of the opposite is a hindrance to the direct understanding of what is. We can understand what is only when we are not escaping from it through the fantasy of an ideal. The ideal prevents we from looking at it, examining it, and dealing with it directly. As we do not want to deal with it directly, we invent the ideal and so what is can be postponed.
    So, our problem is how to transcend, to go beyond that which is – not how to go beyond the opposites which the mind has created. Obviously, what is can be understood completely, wholly, when we are aware of the whole psychological significance of what is. We understand what is only when all escapes have ceased. To acknowledge what is, whether it is greed or it is a lie, requires an honesty of awareness. To be aware that one is greedy is already the beginning of freedom from greed. Seeing the truth in the false and truth as truth is the beginning of understanding. It is the perception of truth that liberates, and not the pursuit of the opposite or of the ideal.
  • Lucy Yap
    Friday, Nov 27. 2015 02:44 PM
    Russian leadership supports Buddhism: Putin in Siberia to salute Buddhism and the religion’s important role in…
    Tsem Rinpoche.
  • xuliang
    Friday, Nov 27. 2015 11:20 AM
    In order to observe the movement of our own mind and heart, of our whole being, we must have a free mind. Not a mind that agrees, taking sides, disputing and disagrees in an argument over mere words, but rather, following with an intention to understand – a very difficult thing to do because most of us don’t know how to look at or listen to our own being anymore than we know how to look at the beauty of a river or listen to the breeze among the trees.

1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · »


Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Justin Ripley, Pastor Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Writer: Pastor Loh Seng Piow
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

What Am I Writing Now


The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
2 weeks ago
Please see the WONDERFUL NEW PHOTOS taken just this morning (November 13, 2015) here: (Be sure to scroll to the bottom until part 2 to see the pictures)
2 weeks ago
We at Kechara Forest Retreat had the honor to have a visit from Yang Dipertua Mohammad Shahid bin Ismail who is the Head of the Bentong Municipal Council. We thank him for taking the time as he was very busy. Thank you very much. Tsem Rinpoche
2 weeks ago
Pastor David giving a well received talk on the practice of Black Manjushri
2 weeks ago
Found a green patch of land to spend with friends...
2 weeks ago
Nice to see our fellow Modern Buddhist Fellowship members engaged in Dharma.
2 weeks ago
Manjushri-ghosha, Kumara (English: Youthful Prince, Melodious Voice)
3 weeks ago
Wonderful certificates of our Kechara pastors..meaningful and touching.
3 weeks ago
This office table has something interesting on it.
3 weeks ago
Powerfully true
3 weeks ago
To have kind and caring people in our lives is a blessing
3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago
I really wanted to share this incredible picture of the Tibetologist Alexandra David-Neel outside of her retreat cave in Tibet. She's one of the first non-Tibetans who penetrated Tibet to engage in the practice of Tibetan Buddhism. She really practiced and even wrote books on Buddhism and Tibet which are still available now. ~Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
A photo taken by Pastor Shin of Tsem Rinpoche's Dorje Shugden traditional mask. This is on Tsem Rinpoche's shrine. Very nice photo.
3 weeks ago
At Chin Swee Temple with my long time friend Dato' Wira Eric.
4 weeks ago
Amogha-pasa Avalokitesvara
4 weeks ago
I love small quaint towns in Japan. No matter how rural or small any village is in Japan, it is still kept very clean and asthetic matching nature. 
4 weeks ago
Left to right: Gekula (disciplinarian), Abbot Geshe Konchok Tsering, Tsem Rinpoche, H.E. Kensur Jampa Yeshe Rinpoche-We are inviting Kensur Rinpoche for tenshug. Tenshug is grand puja to request Kensur Rinpoche to live long. This is in Gaden and we are inviting him to the prayer hall to perform the tenshug. Tsem Rinpoche is the requester and sponsor.
4 weeks ago
This is a nice picture
4 weeks ago
Kyabje Lati Rinpoche and Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen
4 weeks ago
Kyabje Lati Rinpoche and Kari Kensur Rinpoche of Gaden Shartse Monastery
4 weeks ago
Kyabje Zemey Rinpoche, H.H. Zong Rinpoche & Kyabje Lati Rinpoche
4 weeks ago
Kyabje Lati Rinpoche makes offerings to H.H. Trijang Rinpoche
4 weeks ago
Kyabje Lati Rinpoche makes offering to their Holinesses Kyabje Ling and Trijang Rinpoches
4 weeks ago
Lady Buddha Janguli who protects from snakes and venom poisoning.
1 month ago
If there is a blind man walking towards a well and he can fall in, whose fault is it if he falls in? This can be related back to those in dharma should act to guide others by example otherwise you let everyone fall into the well. If they do fall in samsara's well, whose fault is it? Have the courage, integrity and fortitude to practice dharma and bring dharma to others to help them.~ Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
This group in Kechara Forest Retreat completed a Singdongma retreat on October 28, 2015.
1 month ago
Magnificent and Glorious Buddha Goddess Singdongma the Lion Faced lady who dispells all fear from the ten directions for those who invoke upon her fercocious and volcanic like power. Praise to this wrathful lady that burns all gnosis and projections! Remover of all that harms and obstructs and trampled under her feet. Tsem Rinpoche--To learn more about Singdongma:
1 month ago
Xiaqiong Monastary, Qinghai, Tibet, China. Over 100 meters tall Lord Tsongkapa statue. The only one of it's kind. Totally amazing. Picture 2
1 month ago
Xiaqiong Monastary, Qinghai, Tibet, China. Over 100 meters tall Lord Tsongkapa statue. The only one of it's kind. Totally amazing. Picture 1
1 month ago
This was taken in Kechara House. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
This was taken in Gaden Shartse Monastery on the day of my enthronement as Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
I think I was in Sera Mey Monastery when this was taken over 18 years ago. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
1 month ago
Many times we hear great Vajra Yogini practitioners when cremated, their fire pyres appear in the form of Vajra Yogini. We hear this many times as a sign they went to Kechara Paradise, gained high realizations or enlightened by Vajra Yogini's path. Although this picture does not depict a funeral pyre of a great practitioner, but the fire looks curiously like Vajra Yogini. Enjoy and may all be blessed by Vajra Yogini. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
1 month ago
When you work hard and produce results, everyone is silenced and those who make noise is just noise and society allows you some freedoms. You have to have the integrity to finish what you started and what you promised. Do it for others, those concerned and for yourself.~Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
You can work with me and we finish the dreams. You can leave citing any reasons you may have. You may join back again with me and my arms are open to you. Or you may go away as an enemy or remain friends. However you do I will accept. I dream big and work hard and sometimes it's hard for you, others and me, but if we finish, there is great satisfaction. Satisfaction doesn't come free. But one thing for sure, I will finish what I have started with or without you. Too many depend on it and many have hopes in it. We need to remember our words, our promises and our hopes we gave others and not shatter it. Sometimes we need to put our personal feelings aside and just get it done with a bang and be happy about it because in the end letting others down is not a way of life. Be kind, have integrity, don't make excuses, don't justify but just complete the works that make the dreams materialize and in the process you fulfill the dreams of many others. Others is always the key. Others and oneself are intertwined. Life is then fulfilled. That is life. Life is like that.~Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
Please click on picture to see this special mantra
1 month ago
Long Manjushri mantra: Namo Manjushriye Kumara Bhutaya Bodhisattvaya Maha-sattvaya Maha-karuni-kaya Tayatha Om Aradzey Biradzey Shuddhey Bishuddhey Shodaya Bishodayey Amaley Bimaley Nirmaley Dzaya-varey Ruru-tsaley Hung Hung Hung Phet Phet Phet Soha!
2 months ago
Love is.....
2 months ago
Very powerful. Must click on picture and read and share.
2 months ago
Some people just work quietly in the background and do their best in their own way to benefit others. They don't say much but work super hard. I must say Pastor Dr. Lanse is one of them. She does not need attention, she does not complain and she does not ever create problems. She is independent and yet kind. She is our wonderful translator who works very hard to get translations of many dharma teachings into Chinese. This is just something short and sweet to let everyone know how much I appreciate Pastor Lanse and enjoy being with her work and her. Because of her and several other vital and lovely people, much practical dharma is in the Chinese speaking world. I thank Pastor Dr. Lanse from my heart. Tsem Rinpoche
2 months ago
Materialism is prevalent because the societal norms teaches people to be consumers at a young age. Buying things we don't need all to feed the ego. You can drive an expensive vehicle, but at the end of the day its still just a car. You can buy a flashy watch, but in reality all it does is tell time. People are more concerned with image and feeding their egos than being a beneficial person to society. Investing money on the outside to appear a certain way to others, yet forgetting to invest in yourself to becoming a better person. People spend their whole lives working to attain materialistic things using their accumulation of materialism to validate their existence, but when you die you can't take any of it with you. Don't let this system turn you into a vanity slave, realize you're worth much more than that. Feed your soul not your ego.-from Dr Asky (Powerful words of wisdom even from the secular point of view)
2 months ago
I love little Dharma boy.
2 months ago
Lord Tsongkhapa's holy retreat house in Tibet. Huge pilgrimage spot.
2 months ago
Lama Tsongkhapa footprint as a child
2 months ago
Kedrub Je's personal statue of Yamantaka
2 months ago
Prince Siddhartha with his maternal aunt Queen Mahaprajapati Gotami
Click on "View All Photos" above to view more images

Videos On The Go

Please click on the images to watch video
  • -
    2 months ago
    HH the Dalai Lama prays with HH Trijang Rinpoche and HH Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche. Such a beautiful video of His Holiness Dalai Lama, His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche and His Holiness Dilgo Kyentse Rinpoche (Very exalted high Nyingma lama) are all praying together. In the background you see a young Kyabje Lati Rinpoche too. So beautiful. This is how it was before the ban. All the sects and high lamas were superbly harmonious. After the Dorje Shugden ban things changed for the worse. May the ban be released soon. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Nice Dorje Shugden rock painting
    3 months ago
    Nice Dorje Shugden rock painting
  • His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche teaches the truth of life and our impeding death.
    3 months ago
    His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche teaches the truth of life and our impeding death.
  • A kind message from Mr. Tsering Wangchuk to me. Thank you so much. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 months ago
    A kind message from Mr. Tsering Wangchuk to me. Thank you so much. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Mr Chatreng Yeshe's message to me (Part 1)
    3 months ago
    Mr Chatreng Yeshe's message to me (Part 1)
  • Mr Chatreng Yeshe's message to me (Part 2)
    3 months ago
    Mr Chatreng Yeshe's message to me (Part 2)
  • His Holiness Trijang Rinpoche accepts Long Life puja
    4 months ago
    His Holiness Trijang Rinpoche accepts Long Life puja
  • Dorje Shugden/Kache Marpo makes offerings to Tsem Rinpoche
    5 months ago
    Dorje Shugden/Kache Marpo makes offerings to Tsem Rinpoche
  • My good friend Justin Ripley
    5 months ago
    My good friend Justin Ripley
  • -
    6 months ago
    I requested Choji Lah to do a trusol, rabney and soongdroop for our large DS and Buddha. In this video, he is performing trusol which is ritually 'bathing' the environment and blessing all those who come to visit our Wisdom Hall and Dorje Shugden. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Bigfoot arrives!!!
    6 months ago
    Bigfoot arrives!!!
    Tsem Rinpoche is an avid follower of the paranormal such as bigfoots. For more interesting writings and posts on the subject, please go to
  • Mumu Loves Snack!
    6 months ago
    Mumu Loves Snack!
  • -
    6 months ago
    For H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, a blog post is not just a blog post but Dharma work that generates merits which should be dedicated. Click here to find out what blog post Rinpoche was dedicating the merits for when he recited this prayer: ~Ani Lobsang Pema
  • -
    6 months ago
    Panchen Lama in Beijing on CCTV - China's official news. The respect and position they give His Holiness Panchen Lama is great.
  • Magical fish tank with Buddha statue
    6 months ago
    Magical fish tank with Buddha statue


A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

Scroll down and click on "View All Questions" to view archived questions.

View All Questions


38 minutes ago
29 November 2015 Mr. Sugihara – Conspiracy of Kindness - MUST WATCH!!! - Mr. Sugihara. A shining example of people who selflessly help other people with no agenda. Thank you sir! Thank you very much for following in your conscience. H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche - Pastor Antoinette
3 hours ago
Rejoice to my KSDS colleague Jesvin, who is a dear friend and a warm person who took up vegetarian vow with Pastor Adeline. Stella Cheang, KSDS
4 hours ago
Retreatants of the Tsongkapa Retreat had to observe silent for 3 days 2 nights. Stella Cheang, KSDS
4 hours ago
108 bowls of water offering. Stella Cheang, KSDS
4 hours ago
The seating of each retreatant at Dukkar Apartment in the world class retreat centre at KFR. Stella Cheang, KSDS
4 hours ago
First Tsongkapa Retreat at KFR for KSDS teachers and friends just ended today. Check out the happy radiant faces. :) Stella Cheang, KSDS
5 hours ago
Mr Hee and Kent Kok arranging torma to the altar. By Puja House 29 November'15
5 hours ago
Drolchok Puja did for Sponsor's who wish for her project to be successful. By Puja House 29 November'15
5 hours ago
Torma for puja are decorated beautifully using flowers that are made of butter . By Puja House 29 November'15
5 hours ago
Gyenze Puja conducted today for Sponsor business to blooms. By Puja House 29 November'15
9 hours ago
I love being a Buddhist because the Dharma offers real, practical, and concrete advice for how to improve your life- shared by Lilyn Tan
11 hours ago
Crispy yam basket with lotus root and macadamia nuts . . .must order when u visit Kechara Oasis. Guat Hee
Pat is always so kind and she was volunteered to help us with the preparations of set up for Halloween event. A very big Thank You to Pat. Victoria KSDS
The kids of group teens were volunteer themselves to help us and enjoyed baking at sponsor's house. Victoria KSDS
Guess what were they doing? Teacher Kien was webbing the web effects at Tara Walk. Victoria KSDS
Behind the scene of KSDS Halloween workmanship hard work for decorations. Victoria KSDS
An Sutra Story groups from KSDS were ready for the performance cum Graduation 2015. Victoria KSDS
10 hours of tormas making for pujas today by team. By Puja House 28 November'15
Medicine Buddha puja is one of the most popular puja ordered by sponsors to heal their beloved. By Puja House 28 November'15
Dorje Shugden Puja conducted today for Sponsor to clear the obstacles that might arise for her medical treatment. By Puja House 28 November'15
2 days ago
28 November 15 If you think you are poor, if you think life is unfair to you, if you always lament at your own misery, think again. Picture: Batri the Kathmandu Rickshaw Wallah, his wife, 2 teenage sons and 2 young daughters, total 6 persons, are staying in this room, 3 on bed and 3 on floor. - Pastor Antoinette
2 days ago
Preparation for the wedding function at Kechara Oasis Viva Home outlet. Guat Hee
2 days ago
KSDS- We are ready for our very first concert
2 days ago
KSDS Graduation & Concert - Listen team, briefing time. Lin Mun KSDS
2 days ago
KSDS Graduation & Concert- Visual and graphic team. Lin Mun KSDS





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Click to watch my talk about Dorje Shugden....