Some thoughts on love relationships

Feb 23, 2012 | Views: 26,649
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Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to  destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships,  being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion,  genuine care, sharing and honesty. Tsem Rinpoche

 

In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your  relationship will grow stronger and better with time. ~Tsem Rinpoche

 

What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.  Tsem Rinpoche

 

It takes a years to earn the trust of your spouse, but one selfish mistake to break their heart. Then years to regain their trust again. Just be honest from the beginning and always be loyal. Tsem Rinpoche

 

There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Everyone has so much pain already. No one is not damaged goods. So why bring more pain to your partner. Love, cherish and respect your partner by being honest and always communicating. Tsem Rinpoche

 

I am sorry is ok once, twice but not three times. If you are always apologizing, maybe you are not respecting the relationship you are in. Either respect your relationship or create a prison. It’s up to you. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Love is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for selfish reasons. Tsem Rinpoche

 

No one forced you to have a relationship. So do not make excuses for hurting your partner. Take responsibility for all your actions starting with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues. Tsem Rinpoche

 

All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it…Tsem Rinpoche

 

When we look back and see how many partners we have changed, we can be sure it is a sign we have not fulfilled what we should be doing in life. Finding partners is just a delay tactic perhaps for what we should really be doing..Tsem Rinpoche

 

Partners and spouses are only ok to have when we are ok. Tsem Rinpoche

 

Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt. Tsem Rinpoche

 

The best way to hurt yourself and your partner is when you use them to hide  behind your selfish avoidances. Tsem Rinpoche

 

When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche

 

If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness. Tsem Rinpoche

 

You deserve what you give. The universe owes you nothing. But you owe the universe everything. Be comfortable with that thought first and then seek friends. Tsem Rinpoche

 

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49 Responses to Some thoughts on love relationships

  1. tsemtulku on Feb 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Some thoughts on love and relationships..I am not the expert, but over the years I have to listen to alot of people and I came out with some of my own conclusions…

    • Sophia chung on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Dear Rinpoche,

      Thank you for your advice on relationship. It made me reflect on myself to improve tremendously..
      It was great pleasure to meet u in the gompa last nite. I feel very lucky to receive
      a dharma talk in person from you. Although shocking, It was priceless, the love and effort you put in for
      Your students. Thank you for taking the time to pay us the visit.

      Sophia

  2. freon on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    With folded hand, Thank you Guru

  3. Irene on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

    But what about a situation in which one partner dominates the whole family, and always expects to be bowed and scraped to. He always complains about how nobody does anything right (like he wants), and threatens to leave if we don’t shape up. I often wonder how much of this is due to his family background. (He grew up in an abusive environment.)

    Don’t get me wrong–he can be charming and generous when he wants to be, but sometimes I think he does it in order to manipulate people. (When we do what he wants, he praises them or gives them little gifts, otherwise he criticizes and sulks.) If things get too quiet, then he’s good at manufacturing drama (like claiming to have a mortal illness), and he just loves to gossip. But he doesn’t think that HE is doing any of this, according to him he’s just humbly following what is right (as he was taught). And somehow he always ends up being the center of attention.

    I’m probably making him sound like a monster, but that’s not right. He can be loyal and compassionate (he loves animals, and gives to charity) and is obviously very hard working and a very good manager. He has the potential to make a positive impact on the world. But we’re in this lopsided relationship with him, in which he gets to set all the conditions, and anyone who can’t accept that can just leave. (He’s alienated a lot of people over the years, although he tells it a different way–who knows what the truth is.) Anyway, Rinpoche, I’m sure you know people like that. What to do…?

    • mrs cheung on Feb 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      dear rinpoche, i also know someone similar to what irene has written here in her reply, plus more. he also flirts with younger women but his sick and old wife could do nothing to stop him. facing such a monster, she could only soar and sob over her misfortune. uneducated, unemployed, unwanted, old and sick. she has no where to run to. what to do…?

  4. Hui Keng on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    LOVE is in the air. Read on baby…How lucky Rinpoche giving advice around the clock! Rinpoche’s love is genuinely unconditional hence it survives all tests and challenges. We are pretty much lucky to have Rinpoche. We have sowed good seeds for this to happen and we must utilise fully given this opportunity. Rinpoche immensely love all of us, even more deeply than what our parents can do.

  5. skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Dear Rinpoche, thank you very much for the good advises.

    “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the same expectation on yourself.”

    “Trying to put away, hiding, or avoiding relationship issues won’t make them go away. You need to talk over or be clear about it.”

    “Always bringing up and rehashing previous issues mean the issue doesn’t solve go away or it just mean you’re not letting go and keep holding on to it.”

    • skyong on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

      Correction:
      “Be prepared to have huge disappointment if you expect your partner to act or be perfect in this way or that way while you put the _different_ expectation on yourself.”

  6. kenny wong on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Again, thank you for you kind insights. We choose our partners ourselves and have to accept him/her for who she is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the whole. How we percieve and accept our patners is totally up to us, thus we control our own happiness in the relationship. But if we are not generous and cannot lose out in the relationship and must win all the time, we will definately be the one losing at the end…. being unhappy, unfulfilled and bitter.

    Your words of advice are so true and spot on Rinpoche.

  7. Nicholas on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Thanks for Rinpoche advice.

    Found that the teaching is not just for relationship but it is also applicable for anything we do in our life.

    It’s all about care. How much we want to do for others is how much we cares for others.
    We responsible for the relationship because no one can force us. We are the one choose to be and should go all the way. I like this! No point to regret on what we have not done to save the relationship because we can always be the one to take action first.

    It’s not about who love whom more than who suppose to take the first move, it’s how much you love, how much you appreciate and how far you want to go with your relationship.

    This is just applicable for everything in our life.

  8. Han Siew Fong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    All the advices will sink into my mind. .. and have a better relationship with my partner

    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness.” Tsem Rinpoche

    i contemplated on the above and i do realize the meaning of the quote.

    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful post

  9. Jace Chong on Feb 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing these very useful quotes.

    Relationship used to be something very hard for me to juggle in between love and selfishness. When I had quarrel with partner, I always not sure this is because I want him to be my way, or I want my partner to improve. And the definition of improvement is vary to different people.

    “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications. ”

    This is a very practical way. I should not focus on what I want, but what is best for our partner.

    Even Rinpoche didn’t go through all these, Rinpoche understand better than everyone else what should we practice in relationship. Salute to Rinpoche, as always!

  10. shivani on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I want to know a little about Karmic Connection.We meet people but they leave us yet we cannot earse them

  11. yekyee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Each of Rinpoche is very logic and make sense. When we choose a relationship, must always our partner with real care and patient. No one is perfect. How can we go along with each other, tolerance is another good deed we need practice. I believe very strongly on it. My aunty friend always with me, it is not easy for two different character person live, eat, play, work together, need so much efforts and patient. I agreed. Thankyou for Rinpoche sharing.

  12. Margaretlee on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts and experiences you have encountered with the many stories you were told.

    I think responsibility, honesty, sincerity and intergrity apply to everything we do in our life, be it work or relationship.

    There is a saying that people only starts to know themselves when they are in a relationship, it is indeed true when we realise we always demand this and that from our partner and never gives back, a state of complete self absorption. relationship is about giving and not taking.

    I paticularly like this quote from Rinpoche : “When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. Tsem Rinpoche”

    Going to share this blog with many of my samsara friends…..

  13. tenzin llhamo on Feb 23, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    This is the one I like the most. Because of being dishonest, so many relationships are destroyed. How sad! But now that we understand, we must be better. Treat relationships with respect, humility and honesty.

    ‘In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time’

  14. abby on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Love and compassion is the greatest lesson in everyone’s life.
    Yes, Rinpoche may not be the expert, but yes, Rinpoche do care about everyone. And with this compassion, Rinpoche is the Love Guru :)

  15. Yvonne Yap on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche! this is a reminder , remind the things we know, but we always forgot.Because you care.

  16. Ash Ng on Feb 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Dear Rinpoche, You have given us some wonderful insights on having relationships with others. I especially agree with the few advises below;

    1) When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first.

    2) Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt.

    I feel these 2 major points encompass all the others and when we are REALLY ready after dealing with our deep seeded insecurities, comfortable and accepting ourselves then only we take the next step. Appreciate Your enlightening insights and You care for us with others. Will put in effort working on these as the essence of Dharma is compassion towards others and not hurting or harming them would be the first priority. Thus, working on oneself first is the key to happiness. Tashi delek

  17. Uncle Eddie on Feb 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Is love all we need to make a successful and fulfilling life relationship? Obviously, not all love relationships are the “Life Partnership kind”. It is important to realise and recognise that, and be okay with that. We can learn so much from the experiences of past relationships, to change towards the better, to a more adaptable, improved and acceptable one for both partners. It is everyone’s goal to have the desire of finding a life partner who caters to one’s entire needs and satisfaction. We all want someone who looks good, always make us laugh, supports us, respect us and trusts us well. Before we can find that ‘someone’, we need to be that person – that includes accepting all faults and short comings of oneself and that of your life partner too. A healthy relationship, essentially, should have a good building up of respect, loyalty, trust and a good admiration for each other; more similar to a house solid basic foundation structure, where the more love and nurturance we put into it, is what makes it a happy home, and a successful and fulfilling life relationship in the years to come.

  18. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    “And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is”

  19. CPD- Centro de Patologia do Desenvolvimento on Feb 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    And it takes no time to fall in love
    But it takes you years to know what love is….

  20. SEreNa on Feb 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Thanks for Rinpoche sharing on some thoughts for love and relationships.

    We must always remember to share and communicate with our love partner for every challenges we face in life. You have make your choice to spend the rest of your life with the loved one. SO, Be responsible and respect to the loved one. Don’t be selfish as pain will arise to the loved one including youself.

  21. Khoo HH on Feb 23, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for the sharing on love relationships.
    “If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness”
    How can we hurt a person if we truly love that person, and we know that the person also love us. I think “Selfishness” is the only explaination on this. A lot of time we are treating our partner good because we wanted to feel good, not because we want our partner to feel good. I have heard of this situation a lot of times from people around me. A guy wanted to bring his girlfriend for a nice dinner because he wanted to make his girlfriend happy. But he got angry with his girlfriend when she took a long time to makeup. Suppose to be a romantic dinner, ended up with a quarrel in the house. I will always think, what is the objective of this dinner? To not miss the reserved table, or to make your partner happy? Perhaps he thought that his effort of booking the table is greater than his partner. I think if a couple truly love each other, even a roadside stall will be a romantic dinner.

  22. bengkooi on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these thought provoking quotes. My favourite is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty.”

    To share with those who have not had the fortune to hear one of Rinpoche’s talks about relationships… As Rinpoche has said many times, a dharma relationship is different from a secular relationship because we are not in it just for ourselves. When we enter a dharma relationship, we must be determined to make it last. We must be determined to make it work regardless of whatever problems come along. We cannot just try things out because we may hurt the other person and that is a big no no.

    Its good to be aware of these things, because there are people who jump into relationships or even dharma relationships unaware of what it really entails and the commitment that we must put in.

    Bottom line – dont hurt others.
    Bottom bottom line: be a monk/nun!

  23. Any Loke on Feb 23, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Wow, is so true about what Rinpoche wrote. But, human is really selfish, sometimes, we never think that the problem of the relationship is actually created by oursleves. After all the teachings and Puja that I have done it really helped so much in all aspects.

  24. Wee Liang on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:43 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you so much for the dharma talk last night. Also thank you very much for all the quotes on love and relationships. Its very enlightening, makes me reflect. My favourite quote is ‘The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you.’ This one is harddddddd.

    Wee Liang

  25. vc on Feb 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Rinpoche is very lucky to have get out of samsara and not involve in opposite sex relationships.Everyone should think they are indeed lucky and have the privilege to left the home life and seek the Way.We can only see what is worldly and not transcendental.This life is not just about humanity but transcendental to the ultimate reality.Nirvana.

  26. Jean Ai on Feb 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    After reading this, putting it alongside the video Rinpoche sent to us (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLH6-P6rIv8), I gotta add to this post – never choose someone on the basis of their looks! It all fades with age, no matter how rich, poor, fat or skinny you are! And death comes to everyone, so how do you want to live your relationship? With anger, disharmony and bitterness, or do you want your relationship to be the cause of something bigger and better? Rinpoche always says some relationships drag people down, and others lead to better things…if yours is the former, time to stop being selfish and let go, both for your benefit and for your partner’s!

  27. Datuk May on Feb 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    The quote I like best is “Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty”. I totally agree with this and in my own view love is not confined to couples and family only but rather it is universal and to be practised unconditionally.

    Love is tough to give as it challenges our selfishness, ego etc etc that concocts most negative emotions in most people. Being as delusional as we are, we think we are in bliss when there is love.

    I totally disagree that Rinpoche is not an expert in relationships and love, if the above quote is what attracts me then it is true for me that Rinpoche is the only one person I know that truly gives love to every sentient being.

    Now that is tough to practise.

  28. Li Kim on Feb 25, 2012 at 5:23 am

    These quotes are true and real. Not the usual mambo jumbo you get in books and cards. Many of the quotes from Rinpoche brought back the sweet and fond memories of relationships for me. I am not bitter la but can say that I have become slightly disenchanted. I think that I will just enjoy the quotes and not think too much into relationships.

    “When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues.” – this applies to many I must say…

  29. vc on Feb 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Dear All,
    All of your opinions about relationship maybe right or wrong.But all you haven’t got there yet.To get out of six defiling objects from your mind.All of you are subjected to six dusts defiling senses which all of you are attracted to such as beauty,intelligent,smell,senses.Be honest to yourself and speak the truth.Don’t go and claim yourself you are the GOD and not attracted to anything and swear and curse others when you are now wearing the ‘Human Body’. If you think don’t like this world you can always calm your mind and return to the source,the Origin and achieve perfect enlightenment like the Buddha.If you think you like what you are doing,just go with the flow and don’t complain.

  30. Amala Sheilagh Mercer on Feb 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you , this is something , Dear Tsem Rinpoche, I will print put and read often ,I may also share it often to anyone open to reading it. And a copy in my washsroom, never know who reads the only reading matterial available to them there, I truly, realize and not all that long ago, that, there is an emotional love and then there is unconditional love,. That is a start , I believe, even though, this only scratches the surface, because of an out of body experience, it was difficult to fathom that much love . Yet changed my life. Now this here to read and remind me. .
    Love and Blessings
    Amala Sheilagh

  31. Li Kheng on Feb 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for this insightful post on relationships. We spend so much time chasing after prince/princess charming whom we believe will make our world a better place. We often forget to consider using ourselves to make someone else’s world a better place. Thank you Rinpoche for this reminder. I especially like this quote:

    “There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner. Tsem Rinpoche”

  32. patsy on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche, for sharing these useful quotes which we can use not only in relationships but with every one whether its friends relationship or love relationship. When we care for others and treat them well with respect, we will get the results of being treated well by others too.

    I like this one, “What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.”

  33. Uncle Lai on Feb 25, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Thank you once again Rinpoche for all the wonderful quotes on love and relationships. You are the most caring person, always look into us and find ways to explain and teach how to live a happier life.

    Of all the quotes I like this the most. ‘In all relationships honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time.’ I fully agree with that because if we are honest we will not cheat, we dont lie, we trust and we are humble. I think this is so because it comes from inside us,

  34. Julia Tan on Feb 29, 2012 at 3:05 am

    “All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it”

    Something as simple as saying NO and we can avoid hurting ourselves and our partners. We didn’t do it. We let it be.

    If you truly love your partners, do something about it, before it is too late..

  35. Albert Ratchaga on Feb 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for the quotes, some times we can be very possessive when we love someone, either to our partner or family, we tend to be very controlling, and the reason of being like this is just because “I LOVE YOU”.

    just a simple word I Love You, it became a manifestation of our selfishness, instead of accepting the person we love, we tend to turn them into our ideally person to be. we expect everything from them but giving nothing from ourselves… so are we really loving them or we actually loves ourselves more? Is love a taking or giving?

  36. Melinda yap on Mar 1, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,
    Thank you for your thoughts and advice on love and relationships. It is so so true what Rinpoche has shared. After reading, I looked back and pondered about my past relationships… It is true in order for a relationship to be in harmony,both parties should be honest plus have respect for each other from the beginning of the relationship. This will in time gives security and stability to the relationship…I love all the above thoughts by Rinpoche on love & relationships…I’ll save it so I could remind myself what love and relationship is all about! ;-)

  37. su_zan on Mar 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Dear Rinpche thank you for all the above quotes. It reminds me of the talk you give during my wedding day.

    For me the above quotes not only apply on a couple relationship, it applies to all kinds of relationships (friends, teachers, family, children and etc)

    One of which is
    “Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good. Tsem Rinpoche”

  38. Wan Wai Meng on Mar 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    These are really thought provoking thoughts about relationships. Thank you sharing them, such quotes will really help people think about what they are doing.

  39. mitra on Jun 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    good advice for every one.

  40. Jessica Yap on Dec 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Everything begins with me, myself, and I. How i feel, how i react to situations, how i treat others, everything is from me. These quotes should be read every now and then to contemplate on..

    Thank you for the profound quotes, Rinpoche!

  41. Paris on Feb 3, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    To add to this, Rinpoche gave a wonderful teaching on how to maintain a successful relationship at one of his students’ wedding a few years ago. I remember it being an especially beautiful teaching because the girl was Buddhist but the boy was Christian – and the advice given was just as relevant for both. Relive the teaching here! (it comes in three parts) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO9yjD_j5HI

    David Lai has also written a book about relationships based on these teachings – a very cute way of presenting different thoughts on relationships, but with this same underlying message that Rinpoche gives us. Here! “Conversations in Love”: http://www.kechara.com/publications/publications/mind-body-spirit/conversations-in-love/

  42. Paris on Feb 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Rereading this again this Valentines’ day and thinking about how, at the heart of everything, is this real gritty honesty that we all need to look at, in every of our relationships. Once the razzle dazzle of moonlight, flowers and chocolates dies down, we are left ourselves to ourselves – then what?

    Then we start creating problems, either for ourselves, our parents, or both. The relationship itself doesn’t go wrong; nor is it our partner’s fault when things don’t peter out the way we want it to. At the end of the day, we have to remember that it takes two hands to clap and to ask ourselves what it is that *I* am doing right or wrong?

    Remember too, whenever things are tough, of the good times, the positive stuff and why it is we fell in love in the first place. Good always wins over the evil and yes, I do still believe that love can make the world go round, if only we stick with it.

  43. Joy on Feb 14, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first. ~ Tsem Rinpoche

    I like this quote the best… it is really true… most of us get in to a relationship for all the wrong reasons. They think life is like some Hollywood fantasy and they go chasing after this idealistic dream which in the end hurts us more than anything else when it does not fit our projections and expectations. And when get in to a relationship we tend to forget ourselves and our whole life revolves around that person, we do whatever that person wants, wishes, and sometimes we even allow ourselves to be use and abuse… all in the name of love. And we become dependent of this person like a puppet. I have seen this in so many of my friends… is it really love? Or is it because of our own insecurities and selfish reasons?

    Being true and comfortable with yourself, knowing who you are, where you stand and dealing with your own self first is far better because then when we do enter a relationship, we compliment the other instead of epecting, we give, instead of depending, we’re interdependent and it is a mutual, two way street kind of thing, where both can grow individually and together… especially if both partners were doing spirit Dharma practice together… it becomes a blessing to one another instead of an obstacle. A couple like this is a big inspiration… http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/for-couples.html

  44. [...] is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for [...]

  45. Carmen Lin @ KMP on Sep 23, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing your thoughts, with folded hands. What Rinpoche said is very truth and applicable to anyone of all walks of life. I will read it again and again when friends of mine had relationship problem or I myself having the problem, I can know where to find the solution and words of advice. Thank you again Rinpoche, for your efforts to enhance the lives of others.

  46. Louisa on Jan 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    I’m always learning and practising loving people around me unconditionally. Although I did not love my parents the way they expect, i still love them but they can never get enough. Just because I dont love them the way they want and they thought I dont love them. I really upset and dont know what more I can do.

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KECHARA FOREST RETREAT PROGRESS UPDATES

Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.



Dear blog friends,

I’ve created this section for all of you to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings about whatever interests you.

Everyone has a different perspective, so this section is for you

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Archives

CREDITS

Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Khong Jean Mei, Justin Ripley, Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Writer: Pastor Loh Seng Piow
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

What I am writing now

Scroll down and click on "older messages" to view archived chit messages. Use 'prev' and 'next' links to navigate between pages

The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
We have to be ready to change when we seek a teacher otherwise stay hidden.~Tsem Rinpoche
3 days ago
15 minutes to watch this will blow your mind: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=55883
3 days ago
H.H. the current Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche -December 2014
4 days ago
December 2014-His Holiness Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche in front of the largest Tsongkapa statue in the world. This Tsongkapa is in Champa Ling Monastery, Chamdo, Tibet. 
4 days ago
This is the perfect setting of the environment of where I like to live. With trees, blue waters, mountains, green, speckled with flowers. TR
4 days ago
Nothing can be found without searching for it. Just because others say you can't do it or don't believe in you or you can't see it, doesn't mean it cannot exist. Never give up!~Tsem Rinpoche 
6 days ago
This Manjushri is in Kechara's publishing wing. Stunning. TR
6 days ago
This Tara is beautiful. Save the pictures. TR
6 days ago
Having dinner with special friends from around the world. We are honored to be with Geshe Konchok Gyeltsen lak. 
6 days ago
This is very powerful. Share it. TR
1 week ago
Decemeber 2014-They just finished their Tsongkapa retreat and I am so glad for them. TR
1 week ago
We have so many mysteries and some can be proven while others not. TR
1 week ago
Amazing and so appropriate for some. 
1 week ago
This is so true and we have to think about it carefully. 
1 week ago
This is so true. It makes sense. 
2 weeks ago
Good dharma friends explore interesting places together.
2 weeks ago
These powerful quotes are timeless and I must read from time to time. It brings sanity, peace and focus. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 weeks ago
This is very interesting news. News I thought was not possible. 
3 weeks ago
This is good advice. I will do more and more of this as it's time. Tsem Rinpoche
3 weeks ago
Good dharma friends go a long way together as they can work together to benefit many beings. Kudos to friends in the Dharma. TR
4 weeks ago
Besides Willow Creek, California, this spot in Washington state is another area where many Bigfoot sightings occur frequently. TR
4 weeks ago
BREAKING NEWS: India has banned the import of animal tested cosmetics. Coming just few months after they banned cosmetics testing in Indian labs, the import ban now makes India the first cruelty-free cosmetics zone in South Asia. Now it's time for Australia to end cruel cosmetics. My bill has been on the books for months, and the Labor and Liberal parties still haven't come to the table. It's time for action. Join our call to end cruel cosmetics. Visit http://grns.mp/end-cruel-cosmetics
4 weeks ago
Celebrity host Li Kim interviews Dato' Wira Eric for Kechara Magazine. Tsem Rinpoche 
1 month ago
Must go see the movie, very inspiring. Does anyone know where I can find this on DVD? Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
Buddhas for gifts to people who wished to be blessed daily. It is always beneficial to wear a Buddha pendant. Tsem Rinpoche 
1 month ago
Pastor Seng Piow surprised me with this Vajrapani today. Very beautiful. TR
1 month ago
A Tara presented to me by caring Beng Kooi. This statue is very special to me because Beng Kooi's motivation is pure and samaya clean. I appreciate this very much. Tsem Rinpoche
1 month ago
My Uncle Mr. Min Hong Gui in Taiwan. I met him once when we visited Taiwan and he shared much of our family history with me. I was grateful. He is the only sibling of my mother. Tsem Rinpoche 
1 month ago
Kechara Pastor Dr. Lanse doing last rites and prayers in the hospital for someone who just passed. Om Mani Peme Hung. 
1 month ago
This is wonderful!
1 month ago
Beautiful. Please share with other spiritual friends. 
2 months ago
This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time! I laughed till I teared..please watch: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=53930
2 months ago
Wait till you see the pictures this photographer caught in portraits in order to evoke some feelings in us: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=53879
2 months ago
Guess what we did on Mt Rinjani? See: http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=53342
2 months ago
Modern Buddhist Fellowship members joining in celebrations in Kechara.  October 24, 2014
2 months ago
This is a Cockatoo named Boy. He was in a small cage alone most of the time for 22 years. The owner finally relented and let us rescue Boy and be put in a large huge outdoor aviary with friends and fresh air. He came to us on October 24, 2014. 
2 months ago
October 24, 2014-Pastor Shin giving a talk in Kechara House. 
2 months ago
October 24, 2014-Was presented with lots of flowers today. How kind. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
Mark Twain once said, “Of all the creatures ever made Man is the most detestable. He’s the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.” ~ From Earthlings, http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/earthlings.html
2 months ago
The highest achievements are usually done alone.~Tsem Rinpoche (Sometimes the further you move up and achieve, the less people will be around or unable to keep up. Some cannot understand, accept or wish to do more and they can drop off. Some may wish you well but cannot keep up anyways. The higher your goals, the less most are able to understand or envision. Some may be even against you. But what is important is you stay focused and consistent. After all big achievements are done by only a few and not the majority. Highest achievements are usually done alone or with a very few. Stamina, vision, consistency, focus, care, responsibility and sometimes even a sense of compassion is necessary to achieve anything big. Giving up gets us nowhere, so continuing is a good option. When you make it, some will come back, many will join and the naysayers regret and wished they had stayed. Tsem Rinpoche)
2 months ago
Since I was a young boy I wished to live in this type of environment. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
Halloween is my favorite holiday. Everything about it brings good memories. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
This is my dream home, dream location and a place where I would spiritually grow. Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
"I like doing things that are going to last longer than a minute in the world."~ Christy Turlington
2 months ago
Click on this picture to enlarge and tell me what they are doing? Tsem Rinpoche 
2 months ago
"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous or honest." ~ Maya Angelou
2 months ago
Mother gorilla's heart- A child fell into the gorilla cage. She broke her arms and legs and she was unconcious. A male gorilla came and tried to hurt her. Luckily, a female gorilla rescued her by chasing other gorillas away not to hurt her. This is an instinct of mother animals that take care of their babies. The mother gorilla climbed the 57 ft wall and took the girl to the zoo officer. The girl was sent to hospital and the doctor cured her. Thanks to mother gorilla's kind heart. -From FB (Please always be kind to animal. Never hurt them, kill them or eat them. Tsem Rinpoche)
3 months ago
October 3, 2014-Karen said there were even people in the Gifts Department of Kechara participating in Blog Chat today. Wonderful to learn. Tsem Rinpoche
3 months ago
Click on "View All Photos" above to view more images

Videos On The Go

Please click on the images to watch video
  • Socialite becomes a volunteer in Malaysian soup kitchen
    Socialite becomes a volunteer in Malaysian soup kitchen
    In the Malaysian capital, Ruby Khong devotes her lunch hours delivering food to the needy, even when the tropical heat and humidity make it hard to breathe. "It was always about myself, what I wanted and that continued on for a while until 1994," she says. That year, she was on a quest for spiritual guidance in India and met a Buddhist monk named Tsem Rinpoche. Read more here: http://www.bbc.com/news/business-29986205
    1 month ago
  • -
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    Mumu always prepares his bed this way before sleeping. Cute.
    2 months ago
  • Watch what Jason Clare said in parliament
    Watch what Jason Clare said in parliament
    Description
    2 months ago
  • Super cute attack. Have to watch!!
    Super cute attack. Have to watch!!
    3 months ago
  • -
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    They pump 'things' into poultry to make it look plump and bigger to attract you to buy. Then you eat whatever they've pumped and think how it builds up in your body? Is your taste buds worth it to risk your health? Tsem Rinpoche
    3 months ago
  • -
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    Look at this 2 minute video, while Hong Kong is having massive protests,right over the skyline of a city a UFO is spotted observing.. Incredible footage. UFO's are historically said to always gather where there is massive conflicts or congregations of people for hundreds of years.
    3 months ago
  • -
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    See this video and do share with friends. See what happens at 1:10........Om Mani Peme Hung Watch it for the sake of the beings within in enduring what they have to endure. Don't think about how you feel because you are not there, but how they feel. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 months ago
  • -
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    I just purchased an empty locket from an art store for around $10 and had a nice picture of His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche inserted in the front and His Holiness Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche inserted on the others side at home. Attached a str...ing and it's good to wear for blessings. Look how beautiful. I am the type, I devote myself to my practice but I remember it is the sole kindness of the guru's teachings. Without the guru there is no dharma at all as I cannot speak to Buddha directly. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 months ago
  • -
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    I was gifted this wonderful blingy shiny new pen by a spiritual friend. I didn't know Swarovski pens write so smoothly. I am going to enjoy writing with this. Thank you Jessica Pimentel. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 months ago
  • Is this the Loch Ness monster?
    Is this the Loch Ness monster?
    Description
    3 months ago
  • -
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    In Kechara Forest Retreat we have a large aviary with many rescued birds and tortoises. We just built a nice pool for them to cool down in. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 months ago
  • Rescuing dog in LA river
    Rescuing dog in LA river
    4 months ago
  • This is a very inspiring video by Jim Carrey you must see
    This is a very inspiring video by Jim Carrey you must see
    4 months ago
  • Dalai Lama watching TV
    Dalai Lama watching TV
    4 months ago
  • Dog with a heart of Gold
    Dog with a heart of Gold
    Description
    4 months ago
  • 14th Dalai Lama with Mrs.Indira Gandhi , Delhi INDIA 1966
    14th Dalai Lama with Mrs.Indira Gandhi , Delhi INDIA 1966
    6 months ago
  • The Girl Who Couldn't Cry - Water is Life
    The Girl Who Couldn't Cry - Water is Life
    It's really hard to educate a generation of people born in conditions where they take things for granted. A simple slogan campaign that says, "Save water, It's precious" isn't sticky enough to make inroads. That's exactly where this video steps in: to make people realize how precious water actually is. A brilliant video that follows the heartbreaking story of a young girl that cannot cry. Sounds like fiction? Sadly, it is not.
    7 months ago
  • -
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    Dear everyone, All sentient beings deserve to live, be happy and not hurt, including animals. We should never hurt them or eat them. Look how much this chicken welcomes a hug and love. Observe carefully. Don't eat beings who can feel pain because the karma comes back. Tsem Rinpoche
    8 months ago
  • The appreciation shown here is so deep and touching.
    The appreciation shown here is so deep and touching.
    Dear friends, See this incredible video. This chimp was found in captivity for many years. Dr Jane Goodall released him into the wild. Look how he comes back to thank her with deep apprecition. It's amazing. Animals have such strong feelings of pain and happiness just like us. We should never hurt them and share with others to not hurt them. Tsem Rinpoche http://www.tsemrinpoche.com
    8 months ago
  • Aki drinking some water in the aviary
    Aki drinking some water in the aviary
    Aki is a rescued bird, he now lives in Kechara Forest Retreat Aviary
    9 months ago
  • Jamyang enjoying some fresh corn
    Jamyang enjoying some fresh corn
    Jamyang is one of our rescue birds that live in Kechara Forest Retreat Aviary
    9 months ago
  • The Cute Mumus Practising Dog Orchestra at Kechara Forest Retreat
    The Cute Mumus Practising Dog Orchestra at Kechara Forest Retreat
    Today the Mumus (dogs) decided to do a dog orchestra rehearsal together with the Kechara Forest Retreat (KFR) dogs.
    10 months ago
  • -
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    Gongkar is our new bird for Kechara Forest Retreat's aviary. Gongkar never had friends and the original owner could not bring him to his destination. Now he is with us and assimilating in his cage within the aviary for a few weeks then released into aviary. Look at how much he wants attention from the other birds. Cute. Tsem Rinpoche
    1 years ago
  • Mumu, Oser and Dharma running and having a good time. I love seeing them playing. Tsem Rinpoche
    Mumu, Oser and Dharma running and having a good time. I love seeing them playing. Tsem Rinpoche
    1 years ago
  • Mumus running at Kechara Forest Retreat
    Mumus running at Kechara Forest Retreat
    1 years ago
  • Kechara Forest Retreat panorama, September 2013
    Kechara Forest Retreat panorama, September 2013
    1 years ago
  • -
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    Dechog our cockatoo at Kechara Forest Retreat grabbing long beans which he loves. Nice bird. We love him. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
  • The mumus having outdoor evening stroll!!!
    The mumus having outdoor evening stroll!!!
    2 yearss ago
  • -
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    17 May 2013, heavy rain at Kechara Forest Retreat from 7am-8am (1 hour). Water overflowed the existing drain and also opened up a much wider new "route" for itself.
    2 yearss ago
  • Must see video from Rajendra on our disciplined dogs
    Must see video from Rajendra on our disciplined dogs
    2 yearss ago

ASK A PASTOR


A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

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View All Questions

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Related Links To Myself

My Blog in Chinese:
zhandugu.blog.163.com
My website:
www.tsemtulku.com
My organisation's website:
www.kechara.com





CHAT PICTURES

Thank you Fitness First for the towels donation! 谢谢First First所赞助的毛巾! Justin@KSK
8 hours ago
Volunteers from JT International Trading Sdn Bhd helping in our kitchen distribution! 来自 JT International Trading Sdn Bhd 的志工从厨房帮忙派发食物! Justin@KSK
8 hours ago
Letting go of our attachments creates pain because we are deluded to think they bring happiness.~ H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_PB
8 hours ago
Happiness is never achieved unless we apply dharma.~ H. E. Tulku Rinpoche_PB
8 hours ago
Dharma is simple, it is the effortless existence of the non self-grasping.~ H. E. Tulku Rinpoche_PB
8 hours ago
There is enlightenment when we surrender our petty attachments..~‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
11 hours ago
Attachments are simply objects we mistakenly believe brings undending happiness.~‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
11 hours ago
We have to be ready to change if we are looking for a teacher otherwise stay hidden.~‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
11 hours ago
Such an honour to be able to be in same photo with our beautiful Kechara's pastors. DR.
yesterday
Donation box in aid of Kechara's soup kitchen prominently displayed in main entrance of Avenue K. DR.
yesterday
Letting go of our attachments creates pain because we are deluded to think they bring happiness.~‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
yesterday
Don't assume anything about anyone, just keep our minds open. ~ ‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
yesterday
When we can help someone, why not ‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
yesterday
Whatever we do in samsara has to be abandoned sooner or later. Do dharma.~ H. E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_PB
yesterday
Resplendent is the one without attachments or grasping.~ H. E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_PB
yesterday
There is enlightenment when we surrender our petty attachments. ~ H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_PB
yesterday
Lovely picture of Mr.Mrs Teh inviting 20"Lama Tsongkapa from Kechara House gompa. Lucy Yap
2 days ago
The fact of the matter is this – we all should be treated equally and there should never be rules and regulations against us as people or citizens based on our religious beliefs. Whether our religious beliefs are accepted or considered accurate interpretations, we are still people underneath. We all need food, love, compassion and deserve inalienable birth rights such as freedom of choice. No leader, whether secular or religious, should ever be allowed to take that away from us. ~ I pray to what I want to http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/i-pray-to-what-i-want-to.html Join us as we discuss this interesting topic on blog chat http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/chat Date: USA Friday 19th Dec @7pmPST & M’SIA Saturday 20th Dec @11amGMT+8 (Joy)
2 days ago
Pastor Adeline shared the second week of the topic"I pray to what I want to"with Kechara staffs.The discussion is from Rinpoche's blog post. http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/chat. Lucy Yap
2 days ago
There is no life when we live to bring pain to others and ourselves.~H. E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_PB
3 days ago
Attachments are simply objects we mistakenly believe brings undending happiness.~H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_PB
3 days ago
We have to be ready to change if we are looking for a teacher otherwise stay hidden.~ H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_PB
3 days ago
: We have walked far but there is still farther to go.~‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
3 days ago
Fear the lies and don't fear the truth. ~‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
3 days ago
Whatever activities we put so much import into actually is subjective when faced with death.~‪H.E.Tsem Tulku Rinpoche_Hee TS
3 days ago

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