Transcript:

If Buddhism supports love for Mother Nature. Why doesn’t it also support romantic love between two people and demonstrations of affection between two people?

Man: If one of the basis of the Buddhist religion is love for Mother Nature, why doesn’t it also support equally romantic love between two people and their demonstration of love between each other?

Thich Nhat Hanh: Can someone repeat? Seem to be interesting question.

Woman: He asks if Buddhism supports love for Mother Nature. Why doesn’t it also support romantic love between two people and demonstrations of affection in two people?

Thich Nhat Hanh: The Buddha is a teacher of love. True love. Love for Mother Earth should be true love and if it is true love, it can bring a lot of happiness to you and to Mother Earth. And romantic love, if it is true love, it can also bring a lot of happiness. But, if it is not true love, it will make you suffer and make the other suffer as well. And in the teaching of the Buddha, true love needs four elements.

First of all, ‘maitri’, loving kindness, that is the capacity to offer happiness. If you cannot offer happiness, that’s not true love. In romantic love, if you, if you don’t, if you are not able to help the other person happy, that’s not true love. So you should train yourself in order to be able to offer happiness to you and to him or to her, without that, both will suffer.

Second element of true love is compassion. Compassion is the kind of energy that can help remove suffering, that can help transform the suffering in you and in the other person. If you cannot transform and take care of the suffering in you and in the other person, that is not true love. That is why ‘karuna’, the second element of true love should be cultivated by you and by the other person. Romantic and not romantic, that is not important. Important is, it is true love or not true love, right? And the third element of true love is joy. If by loving, you make the other person cry all the time and you cry all the time, that is not true love. Romantic or not romantic.

True love is inclusiveness, that you do not exclude. His suffering is your suffering. His happiness is your happiness. There is no individual suffering and happiness anymore. In true love, there is the element of inclusiveness, non-discrimination. There is no separation, there is no frontier between you and the other person. In that spirit, you cannot say that is your problem. No, your problem is my problem. My suffering is your suffering. So this is true love, the fourth element of true love. And if romantic love has these four elements, it can bring a lot of happiness also. And the Buddha never, never say negative things about true love. And romantic love, if you are successful and then you will cultivate a lot of loving kindness and compassion. And very soon your love will be all-embracing. The other person is no longer the only object of your love because your love continues to grow and your love will embrace all of us, and happiness becomes limitless, and that is the love of the Buddha. That is the meaning of the fourth element of true love, inclusiveness. If it is true love and then it will continue to grow and include more and more and more not only humans but also animals, vegetables and minerals. And that is great love, Maha Karuna, Maha Maitri and that is the love of the Buddha.

(Source: Why doesn’t Buddhism support romantic love? – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FCIIDmN_Po)

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Transcript:

Maybe the hardest part is if you teach, you have to live your teaching. You can’t say you do, not as I do, but do as I say. No, no! You have to say, “I’m doing my best to live what I teach.” I have a painting by Phoebe, of a group she calls this “Tetsuki’s Funeral” and there are the women, about nine women and they all look like women in my grandmother’s prayer meeting group. So, whenever I am obliged to do something, I’d take that painting and I’d look at that painting, there’s an empty chair and I think now ‘What would grandma do? What would she say?”. I can almost hear her voice, ‘Say now sister, you know what’s right. Just do right. You don’t really have to ask anybody. The truth is, right may not be expedient, it may not be profitable but it will satisfy your soul.”

It brings you the kind of protection that bodyguards can’t give you. Try to be all you can be, to be the best human being you can be. Try to be that in your church and your temple. Try to be that in your classroom. Do it because it is right to do. You see, people will know you. And they will add their prayers to your life. They will wish you well. I think if your name is mentioned and people say, “Oh, hell,” “Oh, damn,” I think you’re doing something wrong. But if your name is mentioned and people say, “Oh, she’s so sweet,” “He’s so nice,” “Oh, I love, oh God bless her”, there you are. So, try to live your life in a way that you will not regret years of useless virtue and inertia and timidity. Take up the battle. Take it up! It’s yours. This is your life. This is your world. I’ll be leaving it long before you under the ordinary set of circumstances. You make your own choices. You can decide life isn’t worth living. That will be the worst thing you can do. How do you know? So far. Try it. See. So, pick it up. Pick up the battle and make it a better world. Just where you are. Yes, and it can be better and it must be better, but it is up to us.

(Source: Dr. Maya Angelou’s 3-Word Secret to Living Your Best Life – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sr6LMr-rXEc)

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There’s a really famous story that I’ve been hearing in Thailand and I wanna share it with the whole world if I could. This is the story about the Buddha and a homeless man. One day there was a homeless man and he’s been trying to gather food and he keeps noticing every day his food disappears. One day, he caught the mouse that kept stealing his food and he asked the mouse: “Why are you stealing from me? I’m a homeless man. You can steal from richer people than me and it won’t have any effect on them.” The mouse then told the homeless man: “It’s in your destiny that you can only have eight items in your possession. No matter how much you beg, no matter how much you gather, this is all you’ll be able to have.” The homeless man was shocked and said: “ What is that my destiny?” And the mouse said: “I don’t know. You should try and ask the Buddha.”

So the homeless man goes on his journey to go find the Buddha and as he’s going, it gets late. So he ends up at a wealthy family’s house and he asks if he could stay the night. They let him in and they ask him: “Young man, why are you travelling so late?” And he answered: “I have a question for the Buddha and tomorrow I’ll be on my way.” The family then says: “Can we give you a question to ask the Buddha? We have a sixteen year old daughter who can’t speak. We just want to ask what do we have to do to make her speak?” So the homeless man thanks them for shelter and tells them “Of course, I’ll ask your question for you.” So the next morning he goes and continues his journey and sees a sea of mountains that he has to cross. He climbs up one mountain and he meets a wizard and the wizard decides to use his staff to take the young man and himself, fly them across the sea of mountains and the wizard asks the young man: “Where are you going? Why are you deciding to cross these mountains?”

The young man said: “I am going to ask the Buddha a question about my destiny.” The wizard then says: “Can I please give you a question to ask the Buddha? I’ve been trying to go to heaven for a thousand years. According to my teachings, I should be able to go to heaven now. Can you please ask the Buddha what do I have to do to get to heaven?” “Of course I’ll ask your question for you.” And as he continues on his journey, he runs into his last obstacle which is a river that he cannot cross. Luckily he meets a giant turtle, who decides to take him across the river. As they’re crossing the river, the turtle asks: “Where are you going?” “I’m going to see the Buddha. I’m going to ask him a question about my destiny.” The turtle then says: “Can you please ask a question for me too? I’ve been trying to become a dragon for 500 years. According to my teachings, I should have become a dragon by now. Can you please ask the Buddha, what do I have to do to become a dragon?” So the young man thanks the turtle for taking him across the river and says: “Of course I’ll ask your question, for you.”

The homeless man finally meets the Buddha and the Buddha tells everybody: “I will answer three questions for everybody here, but only three questions.” And the young man is shocked, he has four questions to ask. So, he thinks carefully. He thinks about the turtle. The turtle has been living for five hundred years trying to become a dragon. The wizard has been living for one thousand years trying to get to heaven. And that young girl is going to have to live her whole life being unable to speak and then he looks at himself and he says: “I am just a homeless beggar. I can just go back home and continue begging.” So as he looks at everybody else’s problems, his problem suddenly seems so small. So he feels sorry for the turtle, the wizard and the young girl and decides to ask all of their questions. So he asks the Buddha and the Buddha answers: “The turtle is unwilling to leave his shell. As long as he’s unwilling to leave the comfort of his shell, he will never become a dragon. The wizard always carries his staff and never puts it down. It acts as an anchor, keeping him from heaven. And as for the girl, she’ll be able to speak when she meets her soulmate. So the homeless man bowed to the Buddha and went on his journey back home.

He reunites with the turtle and he tells the turtle: “Hey you just have to take off your shell and you’ll become a dragon.” The turtle then takes off his shell and inside his shell were priceless pearls, found in the deepest parts of the ocean and he gives it to the homeless man and tells him: “Thank you, I no longer need this because I’m now a dragon.” And flies away. The homeless man reunites with the wizard on a top of the mountain and says: “Hey you just have to put down your staff and you’ll be able to go to heaven. The wizard lets go of his staff by giving it to the young man. He says: “Thank you.” And ascends to heaven. The young man now has wealth from the turtle and power from the wizard. He goes back to the family that gave him shelter and he tells them that: “The Buddha said your daughter will be able to speak when she meets her soulmate.” And at that moment, the daughter came downstairs and said: “Hey! Is that the man that was here last week?” The young girl and the once homeless man have found their soulmate.

This story tells us so many things so many lessons, but for me, I think that sometimes we have to give things, in order to get something. Sometimes if we want to become a dragon, we want to become a lion, we have to be willing to leave behind what makes us most comfortable what makes us feel most safe. We have to leave our comfort zone, just like the turtle did. And in order to find true love, we must become somebody who is willing to put others before ourselves. When you’re alone and when you’re lost in your thoughts. Sometimes your problems seem so big and it may seem like it’s the end of the world but, if we look at other people’s lives, other people who don’t have as much opportunity as us and who have it worse than us. Sometimes it makes our problems seem so much smaller. If we’re willing to lend a hand to those who are struggling more than us and willing to help them, it may change the course of your life, your destiny and the universe may repay you in such a way that you never would have imagined. It will come back to you. All the good that you do in the world will come back to you. So if you’re going through hard times right now. I hope this story helps. My name is Sean Buranahiran. I love you all, and I hope you have a wonderful , wonderful life. Sawat dee krup

(Source: The Buddha And The Beggar – ชายขอทาน – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOh6xUIIs3w)

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