Rose 87
Dear friends,
Winners come in all sizes, shapes, ages and backgrounds. What makes us a winner? Easy. Winners never quit improving and don’t remain stagnant with ‘good’ excuses. They never quit their goals. They never let poverty, disease, bad childhoods, lack of love, addictions, family, negative comments, bad moods, difficult situations, spoiled due to ‘wealth’, age, geography be the ‘obstacles’ to stop us. Obstacles are only obstacles when we allow them to be obstacles. Obstacles are in the mind and created by the mind. So it’s how we choose to look at it. That is why some with very little problems see it as huge problems and give up. While others have monumental obstacles, and they just keep pressing forward. Heroes are people that inspire us and did you know they are ordinary people like you and me who just didn’t give up? You and I can be a hero too. Why not? Just choose it daily and consistenly pursue. If you pursue and do your work well, you are a hero and inspiration to all around you. You will be an inspiration to YOURSELF. When we feel good about ourselves arising from hard work, we are happier, lighter and bring happiness to others. We give others less worry and more hope.
Otherwise we can just label obstacles as just another learning experience. Learning is the key word. Learning means you don’t repeat your mistakes again because you have consciously worked on yourself. You are worth it!! Work on yourself! We all make mistakes believe me I know. Mistakes can hurt others, so we have to be compassionately vigilant. It is the way to go. I make many mistakes, but so what? I make more good decisions than mistakes and I refuse to be defined within myself and others by my mistakes (learning experiences) because I am mortal. Refusal to be defined by it is not in speech, but my results! My personal good point is I don’t give up (most of the time..LOL). I enjoy doing what some said I cannot achieve. Is it an ego trip to achieve what some said I cannot? No because it may be an ego trip for some to say that about me, but for me, it was and is a goal. Simply a goal before anyone said anything to me.
My goal’s achievement is not defined by you not believing in me for whatever reasons you may have. I forgive you on that, but you cannot tell me what I can and cannot do. I go along the dictates of my conscience and hard work. Many in the past told me I cannot achieve this and that. Well ‘proving’ them wrong was just a side ‘benefit’ I didn’t even consider, but they were proved wrong sorry to say anyways. I do say that humbly. The good ones will rejoice and say congratulations when you achieve although they might have really pushed you in the beginning! They are the genuine support people you should never forget. Besides those who congratulate you, forgive those who are not happy for you. That’s life.
Do read this lovely story I have blogged for about Rose and share with others. Remember, the number of winners in the world is not finite, so why don’t you become the next one?
Much Care, Tsem Rinpoche
“An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose…
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.
“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”
“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends.
Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium.
As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.
You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”
She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.”
Posted on FB by: Jessica Simmons
Please support us so that we can continue to bring you more Dharma:
If you are in the United States, please note that your offerings and contributions are tax deductible. ~ the tsemrinpoche.com blog team
A lot of people give a lot of excuses for themselves for not going after their dreams because they are afraid that they will fail. Form Rose story, it really inspire me that if we really put our effort to do it, we can achieved it regardless what’s your age.
Rose already 87 years old but still doing what she want. I will remember this ” Obstacles are only obstacles when we allow them to be obstacles. Obstacles are in the mind and created by the mind.
Old is gold ..is a very old proverb that basically means that age and experience is what makes things an life valuable in the end .Rose an 87 year old college student dreamed of having a college education.With her achievement she was made an icon in her college and inspiration to other students.What i learned from this inspiring post is never give up what you dreamed of doing even though there is obstacle along the way and even age is not a problem.Obstacles are in the mind and created by the mind….well said by Rinpoche. Set a goal’s achievement, work hard and go for it all the way.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this beautiful inspiring post.
When we grow older, we scare of losing, we chasing fame, wealth and losing the meaning of living . Form Rose story, it really inspire me that if we really put our effort to do it, we can achieved it regardless what’s your age ! We should live our life with ” no regrets”.
Being old is not an excuse to stop learning! Age is never the limitation for us to do what we want, in fact there shouldn’t be any limitation of doing what we want! (as long as it abides the law) Rose is an inspiring person to overcome the generation gape between the elderly and the young ones. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this wonderful post!
Rose is definitely a very determined and strong woman, she knew what she was going to to do and insisted it, she was very sure. I do agree that we don’t stop playing just because we are old and we can’t stop learning because we are too old, it’s never too late, it just depends on our mindset. Thank You for sharing Rimpoche.
感恩仁波切分享这感动的真人真事。很钦佩ROSE老夫人的活到老，学到老精神，始终让他可以完成她要的心愿而离世。这是值得我们向他学习的好榜样。其实我们学佛也是一样的要坚持到底，不管我们途中遇到某种障碍，我们还是一样要去面对和继续完成。只要大家的心念坚持和对上师的依止心不变，那么学佛的路也容易顺利完成。
What a truly beautiful story of courage, determination, contentment and wisdom. She has no ego.
To commend Rose’s wisdom with words alone wouldn’t be suffice. She proves to us that age is just a label which allows the human minds to limit our own capabilities. It reminds me very much of a teaching Rinpoche gave, where Rinpoche said that yes the body will grow old, but the mind doesn’t, the mind stays the same. In this case, it is proven by Rose.
“The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”
I have heard umpteen times from my seniors, that they have regret on something they did not do when younger. But what is stopping you from doing it now?
“Growing up is hard. Growing up by always finding opportunity in change.” I take it as getting out of one’s comfort zone, then one can truly grow. If you stay forever stagnant in what you are comfortable in and with, you can rarely grow, because you are not challenging yourself. Growth comes from challenging yourself, from being defeated and succeeding. From trying after falling. Growing up comes when you choose to grow up.
Rose may have been nearing 90 when she enrolled for college but what kept her going was her young-at-heart attitude. Like she said, if she had spent a year in bed and not done anything, it would have been a year lost. She chose to spend her time in college, something she has always dreamed of. Rose showed us that we are never too old to do anything.
It is never too late to live your dreams, just like the story of Rose. A lot of people give alot of excuses for themselves for not going after their dreams because they are afraid that they will fail. Because of this, they will never know wha tit is like to succeed and will always remain a dream. And at the end of their life, regret kicks in for they have not tried. This happens to most people.
Also they let circumstances that are in their way to remain there and did not pursue what is more important. Rinpoche’s story of rising against the odds are an inspiration to all to achieve their goals. If Rinppoche can make it, it also means that we can make it, if we are focused on our goal and work hard towards it.
Remember it is never too late to start.
“If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.”
What a wonderful lady, I would have enjoyed my college days more if she joined us haha. At her age she had set out to reach her goal I wonder what she had accomplished during her younger days. Its sad to hear her pass away on the week of her graduation but at the same time its beautiful she manage to reach her goal with no regrets. We all get old, its something everyone cannot run away from, yet its still very hard for some people to accept it. Trying their hardest to put on products, remedies, methods, life styles just to slow down their aging, when the time, money and efforts spent could have been directed to a better cause.
Hope she has a wonderful rebirth. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing. I hope Rinpoche is feeling better.
I really enjoy reading this story about Rose, the only part that saddens me is her death just a week after her graduation.
Rose is so optimistic. She is such a rare gem in this world. If I had a grandmother like her, I trust that I would be so happy every single day, knowing that there is someone back home who can always be such an inspirational person for me. No matter how many times I fall, while I do feel pain, I will feel better when I see her.
She is such a simple and yet uplifting person!
I too enjoy what Rinpoche has written. At the end of the day, it is about our minds, it is about our hearts. Not many things will come to us as we wished, and so we all need to have stout hearts. Never give up.
This post really touches my heart deeply and very inspiring as well. It shows that age it does really a matter! She reminds us to age gracefully and be positive. I love her words alot!!
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.”
Thank you Rinpoche for the post 🙂
This is very inspiring and amazing. Rose has shown us that it will never be too late to learn if you’re willing to put in the effort. She sure has inspired a lot of students in that school, also not to mention about people who have read about her. I think this is the biggest goal in her life, she died with no regrets. May she take a good rebirth.
Thank You for sharing Rinpoche.
Love, beatrix.
Rose is truly inspirational. She reminds me of the Chinese Proverb. Live till old, Learn till old. (活到老，學到老). A little fact about Rose is that she has been immortalised on the internet as an internet meme, usually joking about her age and being in school but still she will be remembered by our future generation as someone who will continue learning and not giving up despite their age.
Beautiful. Growing old gracefully and happily, pursuing, doing and working on goals lead one to success, the success of being fulfilled and happy. Rose showed the way.
By doing all the things that we have dreamt about and not giving up will be the key to success and no regret when we die. This lady really is incredible. Having the courage to even go to the college is already amazing. Finishing it with pride and is an inpiration to others is something not everyone can do.
Thank u Rinpoche for this inspring story.
Wow. So much wisdom in this one line: “The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.” trouble is, most people realise this when they’re dying and it’s too late to do anything about it.
When I was younger and people asked me what I fear, I said dying alone, dying slowly, dying in pain and dying with regrets. I now know that dying alone is in my control, and I have come to realise we’re all dying slowly so that no longer scares me as much. Dying in pain, well we always have morphine for that (hehe). As for dying with regret, that is also in my control. If I have only so many years on this earth, I want to make it a life worth living and not lie on my deathbed wondering what I could’ve done differently, and wondering what kind of memory I’ll leave in people’s minds when I’m gone.
If we take thought process into consideration, since we don’t know when death will come, we should live every moment as though it’s our last 🙂
Rose’s story is so inspiring! The road of learning has no end, no matter how old you are like Rose at age 87 years still wanted to learn and study, its all up to us.Rose is the role model for everyone.
I completely agree with Rose wise words…
“You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
Have no regrets. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”
This is so true if you think about it, how many times have we died and wasted much time even though we are young in age? Many. And how many people we see living their lives not really living but more doing the norm and just getting by, wait till they grow old and expect their kids to take care of them or grow old bitter thinking the world owe them something. This is a person as good as dead, and the scary part is the kind of consciousness they will take with them.
I think the key is like what Rinpoche always say… it is to “never give up” no matter how many times you tried and fail, how quick you bounce back from any negative experience is most important. To stay “stagnant” is the most dangerous as you don’t move forward. This is as good as a living dead.
A meaningful word that i get out from this great share is “Everyone grows older every day and every year but how many of us grow up and and grew up happily with their dreams fulfilled”
Thanks Rinpoche
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing . This really inspiring me “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.
Rose already 87 years old but still doing what she want. I will remember this ” Obstacles are only obstacles when we allow them to be obstacles. Obstacles are in the mind and created by the mind. So it’s how we choose to look at it. That is why some with very little problems see it as huge problems and give up.”
Learning and growing is optional, how apt and wise from ROSE and aging does not take much talent the moment we are born the process of again starts and zips us towards the end. I thank rose for showing that at 87 she wants to and still is able to learn, despite the fact she already has so much to offer others and share.
Rose is an inspirational lady, though i think she had not intended to be. She is inspirational because she just decided she wanted to do something and went ahead and did it – to the max. I know many people my age (mid forties) who will say “i can’t do this and i can’t do that because i’m too old”. Look at Rose!
I like this teaching by Rinpoche on why are excuses impermanent. http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/why-are-excuses-impermanent.html. Here, Rinpoche says, “To use excuses such as I am too old, too habituated, or this is how I am used to it, really cuts away any sort of betterment we can offer ourselves and others.”
All our limitations are created by ourselves…when our capabilities are actually much much more than we imagine and this is what Rinpoche is constantly encouraging us to realise.
Many people said we are not functioning as well because we are so old and can’t think or do fast enough compare to the youngsters, but look at Rose, she has proved the above statement wrong, whether we can do it or not, it is not depending on our age, it is our mind, our body may aged, but our mind won’t, if we keep it up with our mind, we can still be as young as ever…
I like what she said about this,
“You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.”
Yes, everyone can grow older as this is the nature of fact, we grow old even without doing anything, but growing old doesn’t mean growing up, people can be in the 40’s but still act like a 20 year old kid…. Although growing up is optional but it is so important for us to grow up so that when we grow old, our life will not be wasted… Live life with no regret
Rose died with her dream fulfilled, she has achieved what many young people cannot achieve, we should adopt the the attitude of Rose so we can be like her to be so passionate even though we aged, the fire of life should not put off, keep it burning until the day we say goodbye to the world, then our job is fulfilled.
This is a very good inspirational message of giving. There is no fixed time of giving, only how often we can give to others while we are still alive. Rose gave more than what she took. She used her life fully and because of what she did she lives in the heart of the students and people who have known her. We are never too old to give and the best gift is the how we live our life for others. Thank you, Rose 🙂
Thank you Rinpoche for this awesome and inspiring story. Growing Old is Mandatory – Growing Up Is Optional . I love this quote. It’s never too late to be what you might have been, don’t give up. Have no regrets.
Rose is an amazing and inspiring lady. She did not let her age deter her from pursuing her dreams and goals. Most people have dreams but not doing anything out of laziness and fear of failing prevent them for achieving their dreams. They remained comfortable with failure and in the end they carry that regret their entire life. Rose story is an inspiration and encouragement that age is not a barrier/excuse if we set our hearts and push our self to achieve our goal.
“Be who you want to be and achieve what you want to achieve by doing it one day at a time.” – Tsem Rinpoche
This inspirational story reminds me of a wonderful phrase by Mahatma Ghandi which goes like this:
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
People like Rose are truly an inspiration and a blossom that never wilts! Perfect role model!!
It is never too old to learn or chase our dream. Like what Rose said, if we do not have a dream, we are as good as being dead. Without a dream or a goal in life, we will be lost, not knowing what to do, where to go.
Rose’s story gives us hope that no matter how old we are, as long as we do not give up, we will achieve our goals.
I still remember what Rinpoche had said about the mind. The mind has no limits in growth and development. The mind does not grow old.It continues on to the next and next rebirths. Hence it’s important to be driven, like Rose, by a dream.To develop the mind to be the best we can possibly be in this life.
But the story of Rose was not just about one woman achieving all that she wanted to achieve. By living life to the full, she gave others inspiration to do likewise. She gave others hope to become the best they can yet be. So bravo to you, Rose, for being such a great role model.
I love this sentence the most from the article: “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
This is wonderful! It calls attention to the fact that we all have within us that neverending sense of wonder and capacity to play, to see positivity and novelty in everything that we are doing. If we embodied Rose’s energy, we’d learn to truly live in the present, seeing the potential of every current moment and being able to enjoy it, rather than to be weighed down by the heaviness of the past or worries of the future.
I like this concept that age is really not a barrier. When we consider reincarnation and the fact that we have had millions of lifetimes, then our age in this lifetime really whittles down to nothing. We may be old in this lifetime, but still very young in the larger spectrum of things – and anyway, the mind doesn’t age, really; just our bodies do and while we may not be able to physically do as much as we did when we were younger, our minds, reactions, ability to learn and perceive doesn’t ever have to slow down unless we wish it to. So keep that sense of wonder and play, remember Rose and the beauty of that childhood joy we all started life with, just like St Exupery’s Little Prince!
What an amazing lady !!!! Rose did not allow her age to stop her from fulfilling her dream and her goal, and upon attaining her goal, she passed away peacefully and fulfilled – with no regrets i am sure.
Age is only a number. We can achieve anything if we put our mind to it, and not make excuses after excuses – sometimes to ‘save’ face, sometimes just being lazy, sometimes out of lack of self esteem. We are limited to only what we can do , when we set limits for ourselves.
There is a whole brave new world out there. We only have to reach out for it.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teaching and the article showing us we place the obstacles upon ourselves, that we limit ourselves and eventually we die , we are only filled with regrets .
Amazing… this is one story that truly touched me deeply.
I never thought that there was a difference between ‘growing old’ and ‘growing up’… I thought ‘growing up’ came complementary as we age… but I suppose I am so naive, after all, there are many people around me that are advanced in age whom are still ‘childish’ in behavior. While there are some who are younger than me that are more ‘mature’ than me. So what Rose said here is so true…
We can choose if we want to grow up or not… we just need to make the effort.
Rinpoche taught us and advised us tirelessly that age is never a barrier to learning and improving ourselves. It is indeed more difficult to learn when we are older, but it is not impossible… it is just more difficult because of so many years of habituation to our current state.
Thank you Rinpoche for this post. I too want to be a hero by being less of a burden and inspiring others… hehe…
To be a winner or loser in life actually depends on us, in our hand. To improve and better myself is not to tell people I am better actually is to tell myself I can do it, I can live my life another way, a new way, a better way. Gambateh to all!
Wow! Rose is truly an inspirational person! I love the the quote,
“We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.”
Yes Rinpoche. It doesnt matter what and how people view me so long as I know I can do it and I do it. Not to prove them wrong but to let them know that anyone can do what they want if they just put their heart to it. Rose is 1 of the perfect example.
If we find this story amazing, it is because (and I am sorry to say this) at eighty something years old, or even younger, most people would take the view that they have already lived out their lives and are now just waiting for the death. But this is not about being old or elderly people. People do not suddenly lose their drive and someone like Rose would have been the same motivated person even when she was young. A person’s attitude doesn’t age and when we are old we are merely continuing on with the same attitude and mentality that we have when we were younger and if our attitude is one where we give up every time we meet with an obstacle, then we will find more and more obstacles to stop us. Sadly for most people it doesn’t even have to be a real obstacle and for them to give up, it only requires a less-than-perfect condition. When it becomes slightly too difficult, we give up.
Obstacles will always be there regardless. And it is not up to us why it is there or even if its fair that the obstacles are there. The question is whether we allow the obstacle to stop us dead in our tracks or we focus on what is beyond the obstacle(our goal) which makes overcoming the obstacle part of the process of achieving our goals.
This story about Rose raises a question in my mind. How many people out there have dreams that linger in their minds but they never work on it because they defeated themselves even before they start. They look for reason why they cannot and should not instead of going ahead and doing it. Rose’s story is very inspiring and should be an encouragement for many out there to start living their dreams instead of failures.
Age is just a number. Literally. We are as old as we feel. I’ve met people in their 60s and they are as fit a 20 year old and very eager to do things. Truly inspiring..
When we set our mind to do something, the only standing in between us and the goal is US.
Thank you for inspiring, Rose.
And thank you for sharing, Rinpoche!
Rose’s idea of there is difference between growing older and growing up blown my mind away! Everyone grows old and it don’t need any talent/ability, but to grow up, we need to always finding opportunity in change. This match with what Buddhism teaches, transformation. Transformation is so important that even an ordinary people like Rose is talking about it and believe in. So there is no age limitation for growing up, everyone can grow up, growing up is about changing, only growing older is about age.
It is sad to know that Rose passed away a week after her graduation, but at the same time we know that she did want she wanted to do in her life, she goes all the way to accomplish it and die with no regret.
Another article to read, about what people told Rinpoche that He can’t do/accomplish since He was a kid… But Rinpoche overcome every obstacles and He make it: http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/you-havent-seen-the-last-of-me.html
This is truly inspirational.