Anger
“Where is anger for one freed from anger,
Who is subdued and lives perfectly equanimous,
Who truly knowing is wholly freed,
Supremely tranquil and equipoised?
He who repays an angry man in kind
Is worse than the angry man;
Who does not repay anger in kind,
He alone wins the battle hard to win.
He promotes the weal of both,
His own, as well as of the other.
Knowing that the other man is angry,
He mindfully maintains his peace
And endures the anger of both,
His own, as well as of the other,
Even if the people ignorant of true wisdom
Consider him a fool thereby.” ~The Buddha
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Thank you Rinpoche for sharing Buddha Shakyamuni’s teaching about controlling one’s anger. In common, there are people who think that by reacting angrily and retaliate to the person who gives the offence is a fair and justifiable action in order to show one’s dissatisfaction upon receiving the offence. However, this is totally a wrong view as taking the offence or reacting negatively against the offence from the person who gives the offence can lead both persons to more pain and deeper suffering as the cycle continues on from one to another according to the law of karma.
According to the Lamrim “Liberation In The Palm of Your Hand” by Pabongka Rinpoche, anger is one of the six root delusions. Anger is the highly disturbed aspect of the mind that arises when we see something unpleasant – enemies and so forth. The objects of anger could be sentient beings or inanimate objects; when we focus the mind of them, the mind is disturbed and tormented. The wish to do the object utter harm is anger. Anger does great damage. It does things like destroying our root merits as if we had been burnt in a fire.
Since reacting in anger, whether in the form of action, speech or thought, can destroy our merits and lead us to more suffering in future, we should try our very best to practice the antidote against anger by reciting and meditating on The Eight Verses of Thought Transformation by Geshe Langri Tangpa. According to the fourth and sixth verses of thought transformation, “As for sentient beings who are bad natured, when I see they are oppressed by negativity and pain, may I cherish them just like I am encountering a precious treasure that is difficult to find!” and “And if someone I have helped, one for whom I had great hopes, harms me without slightest reason, may I view him as my holy Guru!”. From these two verses, the more we are forgiving and letting go of any harmful actions or speech hit on us by others, the quicker we can achieve attainments and enlightenment which can liberate us from the karmic bond of samsara. Whenever each time we understand and contemplate on the reason of the person who is angry with us, we should feel compassionate with loving kindness (one of the Six Paramitas) for the angry person because that person is suffering with delusion and illusion at that moment. When someone is angry, that person is similarly like holding a hot burning charcoal on hand and not letting it go, yet not able to resolve the issue as well. Being angry will not give us any benefit at all unless the anger comes with the intention of benefitting others such as a mother scolding her young children to re-correct the mistake done by children.
May all sentient beings able to meet with Dharma and practise the Dharma with increasing happiness that will lead to world peace with no suffering, no hatred and no anger ultimately.
Humbly with folded hands,
kin hoe
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this wonderful poem of Buddha. Its meaning seems deep to me. However, based on what I understand is that when we react to anger of others than we are worst than the person whom are angry. Hopefully, I don’t miss interpret it.
Thank you Rinpoche for this special subject on anger. I would like to add a gem from a buddhist discourse on anger which I hope will help us all to reduce our anger. This teaching has many similarities to Rinpoche’s teaching that anger is a destroyer of many aspects of our life. I hope it will also inspire in all of us as much as Rinpoche did.
Forsaking Anger
How could wrath arise in one who,
Wrathless, always keeps his balance,
One who is self-tame, serene?
And by the highest insight free?
The fool thinks he has won a battle
When he bullies with harsh speech,
But knowing how to be forbearing
Makes one victorious.
He is the worse who,
When abused, retaliates.
One who does not answer back
Gains a triumph hard to win.
One who understand the other’s anger
But still is calm and mindful
Acts for his own best interest
And for the interest of others.
He is the healer of himself
And for the other person too.
He’s thought a fool by only those
Who do not understand the Dhamma
Dear Sonny Tan,
Nice sharing Sonny! May I ask where did you get this from?
These 4 lines clearly tell us why we should control our anger:
“One who understand the other’s anger
But still is calm and mindful
Acts for his own best interest
And for the interest of others.”
Anger benefits no one – not ourself, and definitely not others.
While on the path to train our mind and control our anger, there are some other ways or methods that can be employed to help us also. For example, there is a post here on the blog sharing a method to release anger as introduced by Lindsay Wagner (actress who played the Bionic woman). This method can help release strong negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, revenge, unwanted responses and stress.
Do have a look:
https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/a-method-to-release-anger.html
Subdue yourself, rest will be fine. Buddhas are our best guide.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this advice for us to keep our anger monitored.
This reminds me that our emotions can be controlled. Is a manner of how we control it and how we want it to be portrayed as.
When there is a situation that would cause anger within us, we can choose to either win the battle and stay happy, or let the demon within us win, causing us to be controlled over by the anger that we may have chose to let out.hence, these outlets may harm us or cause us to regret our actions much later in our lifetime.
Such profound wisdom by Buddha. Rinpoche once shared with us…true equanimity can only be achieved when that space is occupied with pure love and compassion for all. If you still have anger, biasness, jealously, hatred, how can love and kindness live in this same space? We cannot have both positive and negative occupying this space, it is either one or the other, otherwise it would be being selective and that is not equanimity.
Something to be mindful about and aspire towards daily as, so when we come across an angry person, if we don’t have the wisdom and skillful means to calm them down and change their mind set… best not to react at all! Like Buddha 🙂
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Shelly Tai on November29,2010 at6pm
Anger is negative emotion that we need to overcome, in most time when you are angry you will do things that will hurt others as well as ourselves, with our guru teaching of compassion and love it will help us to overcome this negative emotion.
It is said – ” An instance of anger can destroy over a thousand eons of positive imprints created”. There is no evil like hatred – hatred is poison, whereas there is no fortitude like patience……patience is medicine. Anger acts like a principlal obstacle to the development of patience. When we speak of anger, we are somewhat dealing with negative emotions, creating some kind of unhappiness or uneasiness to all beings! Such actions will ultimately lead to harms and bring sufferings to others and pains to oneself. One important technique shown to us to counter anger is to keep peace of mind, by not allowing ourselves to become frustrated or dissatisfied, as this is one of the main cause of anger. It seems the most effective means is, when one can overcome the forces of negative emotions by cultivating more positive qualities of mind, like love and compassion in accordance with our Guru’s teachings.
Anger is a very powerful tool which will cause a lot of harm to yourself and others around you. Anger can be caused by hypertension which if not arrested by medication will cause sickness. Anger can also be the
cause of disharmony in the family. Anger can also make a person kill and cause them to be jailed extending to many other harms to them and
their family. So what should we do to counted these unhappy situations. Since anger is the most powerful tool to destroy us. Reading the Bodhisattvas vows is a reminder to us
that we need to control our minds to positive thinking with with compassion and wisdom. The bodhsattva vows is also a preparation for us to take the Highest Yoga Tantra if we prepare ourselves,by practicng and reading the Bodhisattavas vows.
This stuck out most:
“He who repays an angry man in kind
Is worse than the angry man;
Who does not repay anger in kind,
He alone wins the battle hard to win.”
For how often have we always “repaid” an angry person with our own anger – answering back, shouting, saying hurtful things, getting the last word in, staying silent and ignoring another person… then don’t we become just as bad as the other person that we hate so much in that moment? Why do we just end up becoming the very thing or the very person we dislike?
Recalls to mind a stunning quote in rinpoche’s book “If not now, when?” (http://www.kechara.com/publications/publications/mind-body-spirit/if-not-now-when-the-peace-edition/ ) which goes:
“If people react negatively to you, and you react in the same way, then you are just the same as them. But, you say, they started it. Yes, they did but you continued it. What is the difference?”
Anger arrests all development – full stop.
How can we grow when we have so much disturbing emotions brewing inside us? Especially when anger is the most destructive of all emotions. We will not be open to learning new things or even be able to carry a decent relationship with anyone if anger rules over us. Most likely, we’ll be isolated and end up very lonely. No one wants to be around an angry person.
How can we have any sort of peace when there are ‘earthquakes’ and ‘volcanoes’ erupting within us all the time? There would not be any moment of serenity. Our minds would be constantly disturbed. It is like a living hell. How can we be happy?
The scariest thing about anger is that it destroys everything in its path, including the one carrying that anger.
How beautiful!