Question on Jealousy
In answer to Plinio Tsai’s question from facebook:
Rinpoche, how should the person stop the mind that wishes to compare ones own qualities with others qualities and feel bad about it? How someone applies rejoice instead of comparision?
My video answer:
Transcript for the video ‘Jealousy’
Proofread by Sean
I’m recording a message from my post on Facebook – I just posted up on “Jealousy”, and it will be on my blog in a few minutes and you can see the answer there, but Plineo Tsai (sic) – and I hope I’m pronouncing your name correctly, and if I’m not I’m sorry – asked Rinpoche “How should the person stop the mind that wishes to compare one’s own qualities with other qualities and feel bad about it? How someone applies rejoice instead of comparison?”.
I’m not going to go into a long detail about it but I’m going to give a little bit of an answer and I’ll put it up directly. Jealousy is an emotion that when we see someone doing, acting, performing something and they get good results, perhaps it could be praise, perhaps it could be, you know, rewards, perhaps it could be recognition, deep down inside, we don’t feel happy. We don’t feel happy, and we feel unsettled and we start seeing that person for their achievements and perhaps what, how it affects us. And it’s not so much how that person affects us, it’s about what that person did that they got what we wanted, and we didn’t get, that affects us. So jealousy is really not about another person, it’s about what someone else does, and that resurrects, or brings alive, or brings to the surface, or brings to our attention what we didn’t do or wish to do, or couldn’t do, or couldn’t accomplish.
So what’s very important to remember in this case is the Eight Worldly Dharmas and also karma, that’s very, very important. And the reason for that is because when other people work for something, when other people put their effort in and they sacrifice something else and put an effort to get something, we have to realise that they put in the hard work, they put in the time, they put in the effort, they put in the sacrifice. They put in what we were not willing to put in or not enough, or maybe not able to. So they got the result, when they get the result, we must feel happy. We must rejoice for them. Why? It’s a democratic karmically driven world.
A karmically democratic – a democratically karmically driven world is – what, what, what do I mean by that? What I mean by a karmically democratic -driven world is that if you create the karmic causes, you can have the same results. So someone else creates the karmic causes, they can have those results. So if we truly believe in a universal philosophy thinking of karma, we have to rejoice. Why do we have to rejoice? Very simple. They create the karma; they got the results. How come if we do something good, and we get the good results – wouldn’t we want other people to be happy? Wouldn’t we want other people to rejoice? When we do good things, when we do positive things, and we get the good results, and other people are not happy, then we feel sad? Because we say, look, I sacrificed so much, I gave up so much, I really put so much effort and I’m still not recognized, I’m not appreciated. I’m not thanked and they say bad things, they feel jealous.
Well, look, same thing goes the other way around. If we truly take refuge in karma, then jealousy will become less. Why is that? ‘Cause karmically, that person created the causes to get what they are getting. And on a very universal level, universal level, you get what you work for. So if that person has worked three, four hours extra everyday for example in the office, to be recognized, to be accepted, to, to have their work become well known or to become a person that people respect, and you’re not willing to put in three, four hours because you’re, you want to do something else, you know, you want to have your own free time or ‘me time’ or whatever you want to label it, well, if you don’t get the recognition that they get, you shouldn’t be jealous, because they put in the three extra hours, and that could be 21 hours a week, and you didn’t. So if you put in the 21 hours extra per week and you get the recognition and appreciation, wouldn’t you want everyone else to be happy?
So therefore karmically speaking it’s like this: if they create the karma, if they create the karma, and they get the result, you have to accept it on a very deep level. The deep level is that karmically they have created the results. So if you’re jealous of that, if you’re unhappy about that, then you’re truly not accepting karma. You’re truly not accepting the way that things work. You see, because you can’t not put in the hours, put in the sweat, the tears, and pay your dues and still want the results. That’s not logically possible. So therefore when we see other people with good results, when we see other people, they get respect and they get praise, and they’re appreciated and people really like them for what they’re doing, we should in fact rejoice. When we rejoice, and we contemplate on karma and the karmic results, when we rejoice, what happens? We create the karma to start countering our jealousy.
It will not change overnight. It will not disappear overnight. It will not go away overnight. But it will start going away because we start recognising where our mind is coming from. So therefore if we take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha, out of the three refuge, the most important is the Dharma, because the Dharma is what really saves us from us. The Dharma is what really saves our loved ones from us. It is what saves the loved ones from us harming anyone around us; them or anyone else. So when we take refuge in the Dharma, one of it is to recognise karma.
When you recognise karma, you will accept the fact that other people can do better ‘cause they put in the effort. Look, if you’re psychologically always scared, you don’t want to offend people, and you don’t want to push yourself to do more because you don’t want to offend, your fear of not offending people offends people. Why? Eventually, you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do, you’re not speaking what’s on your mind, you’re not pushing yourself to the next level and instead of worrying about one or two people you might offend although you’re not wanting to, you’re not benefitting 10 or 20 people you could have, if you’d spoken up or said something. So therefore, when you are so worried about offending people, you’re so worried about other people in the wrong way, you don’t benefit many more people that you could have.
So similarly if someone who speaks up, they’re direct, they’re open and they’re very honest, and then because of that they get praise, because of that they get appreciation, because of that people listen to their opinions, because of that they make headways – you shouldn’t be jealous, because you’re attached to your face, you’re attached to your appearance as opposed to benefitting others. No one can speak one word and everybody agrees, but if the majority gets benefit, why not?
So similarly, another thing that we need to consider is that when we are jealous, we are not doing something to benefit others, we are not doing something that because we want to help others, we‘re not doing something because we’re having the other person’s benefit in mind. For example, if we are doing something to benefit others, then it must be free of the Eight Worldly Dharmas. One of them is to receive praise, or appreciation, or name, or fame, or ‘thank yous’ or, or a position. Now if we’re doing things with the motivation of ourselves, pretending or feigning or thinking we want to benefit others, but that’s not really the motivation, then we will not feel happy if we don’t get appreciated. We will not feel happy if people don’t thank us. Why? Very great masters, very great practitioners, very great people, people that are not even, how to say, of a religious background, but when they do good things and when they do wonderful things, the person being benefitted, the person being happy, the person being relieved of their particular problem, that makes that other person happy, they don’t need recognition and all that.
So therefore, we can check our minds: what are we doing it for? If another person does something good and we feel jealous, definitely it is a clear indication that we are not doing our actions with the benefit of others in mind. That we are doing our actions for one of the Eight Worldly Dharmas, for example, praise and recognition, or material benefit. So if we always live our life according to the Eight Worldly Dharmas, we will always have jealousy, we will always have our, the lack of peace of mind, or sadness, or loneliness, or rejection, or moodiness. One of the direct results that one can have as a result of having the Eight Worldly Dharmas intact, which is very bad, is moodiness. Your mood will go up and down, because when someone else gets recognised and you don’t, you’ll feel down, you’ll feel unhappy.
And the bad thing is, if we let this jealous energy or jealous thought or mind or attitude remain, it’s very harmful. Why? Then pretty soon, whatever somebody does that’s good, we can’t take it. Whatever positive comes out for other people, we can’t take it. Pretty much we can’t hear any good news, we can’t hear any good things, we can’t even relay to anything vaguely related to us that happened to someone else that’s good. Why? Because it would resurrect what we did not do, or what we should have done. And then we become bitter. And then we become angry, then we become unhappy, and then we start rejecting people, we don’t want to hear news, or we might even start gossip or slander. Gossip, slander, schism, comes from jealousy. Why? They’re doing something you didn’t do, they’re doing something or got the result of something you didn’t wish to do, you didn’t put in the effort, or you didn’t try; or you try, you didn’t succeed. So instead of rejoicing for them, we say negative things. We create slander, we create unhappiness. We create words that make other people feel not so good, or we attempt to make them not so-, feel not so good about something that happened good for others.
I repeat, when we talk schism, when we talk down, when we put other people’s achievement down, and we’re not happy, it is not about the other person, it is about us and our jealousy going out of control. When our jealousy goes out of control, pretty much we become bitter, we become angry and we cannot recognise or we don’t wish to recognise and we don’t want other people to have happiness or rewards for what they have done. And that’s very dangerous. And jealousy will make us bitter, it will make us alone, it will make us segregated. And that’s not good, no one deserves that.
So to counter this we need to look deeper into karma and think “Look, the great leaders had the karma to be great leaders. They were humble, they served others, they helped others in their previous lives, therefore they get the result of being able to influence others in a massive way by becoming leaders”. So I rejoice in the leadership, in the leadership of good leaders, I rejoice, I don’t feel jealous. When other people have wealth, it’s because in their previous life they have given. I rejoice for their wealth. When other people have happiness or they have a good relationship, oh I’m so happy, because previously – previous life, this life, whenever – they always spoke words or they always had an attitude or they always did actions to bring people together. Because they did that, now they are together with someone and they don’t have loneliness. I rejoice. I feel very happy. So when we rejoice at the good results of other people, it is a direct counter to our jealousy. And our jealousy will not go away overnight, but it will start to dwindle. Why? ‘Cause we recognise that their success is not our problem. We recognise that good things that happen to others should not be a problem for us. And if it is a problem, the problem is not them, but the problem lies within us. So very good to recognise karma, to see how karma upgrades in that way.
I wish you good luck, I hope this little explanation will help you. Thank you very much.
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Jealousy falls on one of the 3 poisons of root delusions. As we all leaving in this realm, full of desire, attachments and is not really surprising everyone had this feelings.
Jealousy kills, if it out of control. I have seen this feelings control over a person until causes so much pain, anger, hatred towards others. In the end, this person became bitter, cunning and no friends.
Rinpoche had always advice us to be more compassion by practising generosity. Being generous will keep us open our hearts and our mind.
In general jealousy seems to be bad for any relationships. It’s a feeling of resentment against someone, feeling of insecurity and conflict. It’s human nature. It’s natural to feel jealous from time to time. Well it becomes problematic when we act out in jealousy. Everything happen for a reason, some people have been doing well , wealthy and some do not , all these are our past karma. We should not feel jealous but rejoice for them. We should try self-confidence letting go the situation. Jealousy can be harmful as it will hijack our mind, ruin our relationships, destroy our family, and some extreme cases such stealing or killing as well . At times jealousy becomes lethal, as do domestic fights, and ends up killing others or themselves.
To avoid jealousy we should accept and begin to appreciate who and what we are. Always rejoice to others and take them as an inspiration example. We should think less about ourselves, and more about others. Learning Dharma , practicing Dharma and putting into action , our jealousy will disappear. It’s the best choice.
Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.
JEALOUSY one of the three poisons. To me it is a tumour that grows inside us. Rinpoche explained it so well how this jealousy comes about, how to encounter it and how we can eventually get rid of it, not over night but by understanding the law of karma, practicing the eight worldly dharma, practicing rejoice for others and many more ways, at the same encouraged us of how we can also be successful. which I find it truly useful and worth contemplating it everyday. Whenever jealousy arises, stop and watch this video.
we also need to understand that whatever we have in this life, good or bad, is totally due to our karma, due to the good needs we have done in our previous life hence we are now enjoying the result. In this life, if we continue to being lazy, not wanting to work hard, not wanting to create good causes, not wanting to help others, stingy, do not want to be kind, do not want to do the extra work, do not want to take responsibilities, not putting in extra time, we will end up living the rest of our life, with this tumour and it will take over. We will never be happy again. We will be lonely, depress, angry and sad. Hence REMOVE the tumour.
Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rageand humiliation. It strikes people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or imagined.
Not limited to romantic relationships, jealousy can also arise among siblings competing for parental attention, among co-workers, or in friendships. Jealousy is distinguished from envy in that jealousy always involves a third party seen as a rival for affection or attention. Envy occurs between only two people and is best summed up as, “I want what you have.”
Everything has the own solution and for overcome jealousy we need to practice it. Definitely can control this complex emotion.
Everyone has jealousy. Only whether it is serious or not. Some can be so serious until they harm the person that they jealous. We need to contemplate and look into ourselves then only we will realise our mistakes, from there we can slowly improve and change. Only through learning Dharma then we can slowly improve on our jealousy. Although it takes time, so we better start now.
We all have jealousy, some is very serious, Jealousy is a poison, it hurt ownself and others, therefore we need to aware of it. As per Rinpoche’s advise that we need to look deeper into Karma and rejoice for others when they are achieve something. Letting go the jealousy is to gain the happiness 「諸惡莫作，眾善奉行」是真正保證我們這一生幸福
Everything happen for a reason & karma explains it perfectly.
Once we recognise this then only we could do good deeds to counter & break the negative cycle of karma.
Jealousy for me is deadly and should be dealt with before it becomes something serious. Many a times from drama or real life we see some would act out of anger and jealousy to harm people whom one is angry and hating causing many unnecessary karma backlash in future. The counter or antidote for this would best be focusing out by doing charity.
Jealousy strikes people regardless age group, gender, and sexual orientation. Knowing that jealousy also has the potential to fuel damaging behaviour, it is crucial to explore and deal with underlying issues by taking physical actions. For example, self-reflection and start focus beyond oneself.
If our jealousy reached the height when we are consumed by hatred wanting to hurt someone that we thought was the root of it, then I think that degree of jealousy becomes so bad that we may act out the thought. Like what Rinpoche advises, we should focus out by working to benefit others and rejoicing instead of not wanting to change our habits that continue to feed our jealous mind.
Jealousy is in everyone of us. Whether or not we realize it or not. We may find it hard to control jealousy and not easy to fight jealousy but one way we can do is to be contented and perhaps trully rejoice on other people’s success or achievements. We may not be able to change so quickly but we need to cultivate this habit of putting others first before ourselves. Over a period of time, eventually, our jealousy will turn into some more positive.
I’ve seen how jealousy can make people do things that are cruel and damaging. Most people want the easy way out without doing anything but when someone else achieve it, they get offended, jealous, find excuses to blame,etc. Then they will find ways to create schism or worst, something to harm physically. So much harm to the mind as well because it’s hard to let go and cause so much anger, slowly destroying us. Carrying it from life after life until the day we learn Dharma and transform our mind. Let’s be appreciative and rejoice for others and at the same time motivate ourselves to be better. Spending our energy and thoughts towards something positive and uplifting.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing the jealousy topic.
Yes, jealousy is not about our feeling of “unfairness”. It is about our own state of mind. If we are self-centered it will lead to great jealousy from us because we feel unhappy when other people did not do in accordance to our expectations.
The first time I watched this video was during the adult dharma class, shared by Pastor Gim Lee in 2014. I had watched this video many times especially when I was filled with anger and jealousy. This video keeps reminding me on Eight Worldly Dharma and also Karma.
Previously, I watched this video very frequently because I got jealous and angry too easily. Since I continue my dharma practise, attending dharma classes and perform sadhanas, these negativities become lesser and lesser. It was a coincidence that I encountered this I video on youtube a few days ago and after re-watching it, I feel a sense of relief that I am a better person now. I am confident that I can continue improving myself with a constant Dharma practise.
Humbly with folded palm,
Ng Jesvin
Jealousy is a common human emotion that most of us exhibit. Usually displayed when we see others doing better than us or having the results that we desire. Through Dharma, we learn that we should not develop any prejudgment against others, but we should always rejoice when others achieve something rather than feeling jealous. The achievement of others is due to the hard work they put in which we did not in the first place. If we believe in Karma, we will apprehend that it is due to the cause that a person created therefore he/she enjoys (suffers) the effect of it. Hence, instead of feeling jealous towards others, we should recognize that we must had created the cause for the state we are in right now and we should create the cause to get what we want in the future.
Thank you very much Rinpoche for this sharing. I shall thrive to reinforce this learning in my daily live more.
Humbly, bowing down,
Stella Cheang
Jealousy leads no where and just makes us more upset and unhappy whats the point. We might as well rejoice and create from rejoicing in other people’s good works and deeds. As Rinpoche said when we rejoice for others we create causes to overcome our suffering and jealousy.
If we don’t want others to be jealous of us habving good things, we have to start with ourselves.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for this profound explanation of Jealousy. I realize that on a deeper level, the true suffering rubs in when we began to talk down the person we are jealous about and the subsequent bitterness that went out of control. It is akin to a drunken man who started getting angry at others and ended up hurting (physically) the other person or even killing another person. The point is, jealousy is the beginning of bitterness that will eventually snowball.
Rinpoche’s teaching here gives a really good mind transformation method to counter this. It is a matter for us to apply it.
Thank You, Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche’s sharing. it let us closely to look into our mind the reaction of jealousy.Only by contemplating Rinpoche’s teaching only can help us instead felt jealous, how to change it to better motivation and sincere rejoice from bottom of our heart, not a surface feeling.It not only benefit ourself, this valuable value can share to our next generation,
If one has obtained the precious fully endowed human body, one has the opportunity to attain liberation and the cessation of sufferings as said in the Buddhist practice. With due respect, as a practicioner, one has no need to be jealous or be envious of anyone. Under the blessed care of a compassionate Dharma teacher, one would be capable of shaping one’s own future by earnestly following the path leading to higher states of birth and ultimately to full enlightenment. The fully endowed “body-mind” should be considered even more valuable than a wish-fulfilling gem; for each moment may be used to work “hard” for the purpose of approaching enlightenment. The possibilities are boundless if one can endlessly work hard to show one’s intense feeling for gaining higher attainment to benefit all beings. In accordance with the teachings,all must recognize this form, realize its great value and rarity, then use its blessed method accordingly to reach its destination! Om mani padme hung.
Thank you Rinpoche for this very clear teaching on how jealous arises,
and with that, how we can learn to effortlessly rejoice.
When we are caught up in jealousy, our minds are so mired in self-centered thoughts that in our distorted minds, we see that it is all “very unfair” to us. In reality , it’s all “very fair”. Karma works in very democratic ways. People who enjoy happiness or success are enjoying the fruit of their efforts. They have created the causes in positive actions, perhaps, in a previous life.
This article helps us think on deeper levels of where jealousy arises and why it’s important to curb it. It makes so much sense. We are often so distracted with our “busy-ness” that we don’t really understand the nature of our jealousy and how it will ultimately not serve us.
On the receiving side of people’s jealousy, it also helped me forgive them for all the difficulties and nastiness they hurled on me especially from people whom I was closed to and only had good thoughts of. They suffer from their attachments to the 8 Worldly Dharmas which are:
1. Attachment to getting and keeping material things.
2. Aversion to not getting material things or being separated from them.
3. Attachment to praise, hearing nice words, and feeling encouraged.
4. Aversion to getting blamed, ridiculed, and criticized.
5. Attachment to having a good reputation.
6. Aversion to having a bad reputation.
7. Attachment to sense pleasures in general.
8. Aversion to unpleasant experiences.
The key to forgiving and letting go is through acquiring knowledge and contemplation. Otherwise, it’s just suppressing our feelings and pretending which becomes a scary time bomb. And this I have also seen many times.
Thank you my dear guru for expounding the wisdom teachings on jealousy.
Such blessed and practical lessons, Rinpoche. I am grateful for this light on this subject. It speaks to my own experiences of both jealousy and envy as more rooted in my own attachments and self-cherishing than in comparing myself to others. I do think jealousy is more harmful than envy. Envy is an observation that what someone else has is desirable and we would like to have it too, now, perhaps without effort. Jealousy on the other hand is an observation that what someone else has is undeserved, and should be taken from them and given to us now, definitely without effort. Both are terrible obstacles to cherishing others and equanimity, but of the two, jealousy seems so much more pernicious and likely to cause serious setbacks on my path. I find meditation on refuge clears both very effectively.Blessings and respectful affection for your gifts of insight and wisdom. Grail.
Thank you, Rinpoche. Thank you, for clear my doubts and save me from who am not supposed to be.Thank you _/\_
As such negative thought arises such as jealousy, we shall re-check our minds and thoughts. This is so wonderful, from we have negative channeling to positive when rejoicing for people giving their efforts as in the law of cause and effect.
Dear Rinpoche, your teachings are so much profounds, and this had pinpoint directs to our weaknesses, thank you so much for that.
It is always the comparison that gives rise to jealousy. I have been training my mind to always appreciate and be happy with what I have, rather than to focus on what others have.
This way, I can subdue my mind and convince myself that comparing will nevr see to the end. However, it does not mean that I do not work hard to get what I want. If I want to achieve what others have, then I need to realise that I need to work EXTRA harder [if I am not already working hard] to get where others are.
Allowing jealousy to swallow me is not the way Rinpoche clearly explains in the video 🙂
Thank you Rinpoche for the sharing. I have been trying to control my jealousy and I think I am a better person now and will not get jealous of others as easy as before. Thank you Rinpoche for the teaching.
Thank you Rinpoche for the explanation. I really enjoyed listening to the talk.
Also, Rinpoche has previously also given another teaching on jealousy which is a good complement to this teaching here. It’s a more informal one when we were hanging out in MacDonalds one night! Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byPq0vOFJw8
I remember someone telling me once how wasteful an energy like jealousy is because we gain absolutely nothing out of it – we just sit there and stew and feel bad about something that we don’t actually do anything about. At a deeper level, it makes us reinforce negative patterns of thinking where we reaffirm our own attachments (to how things should or shouldn’t be) and to what we don’t do or what we tell ourselves we cannot do.
However, I remember also having a conversation with Rinpoche once about jealousy and envy, and he had explained that in the case of the later, envy, it could actually be turned into something more positive. The slight difference, Rinpoche explained, is that when we feel jealous, we not only feel bad about not having something but we also don’t want that person to have that thing. Envy is a little different in that we covet and want that same thing but we don’t wish anything bad for the other person; we might even be happy for them, but we also want it badly for ourselves. In this case, we can potentially turn it around to something like a good competitive energy, where we push ourselves to achieve the same (without sabotaging any of what the other person already has), if not more.
If we think in this way, it can be much more empowering, instead of just sitting there and stewing, wishing we had something we didn’t!
Yes it is really such a waste of our precious time and energy isn’t Paris? At some point in our life before we met Rinpoche and knew about Dharma… we’ve all been that green eyed jealous monsters. But what you said what Rinpoche said about the difference between jealousy and envy is something cool…
I like knowing that being envious is actually something better cos we can turn it around to push ourselves to achieve something that we really want. Well, it is definitely much better than getting bitter, showing a black face, pouting, throwing tantrums or creating escapism activities to stay stagnant and anti-the world… No one else is suffering except you really and because your energy is so negative… you automatically create a shield that pushes people away. This then can become a collection of bad karma. What is even worse is some people out of extreme jealousy they actually find ways to get you back! Rinpoche have told us many times over that when someone is experiencing something good, we should be quick to rejoice and feel happy for them… especially in Dharma activities, if we rejoice we also collect the merits. So why not play it smart 🙂
Dear Rinpoche,
First of all thank you for this explanation on jealousy. What if, jealousy within siblings due to parents’ favoritism to one of the child, even the child does not even contribute and causes many troubles to the family, yet the child was still very much loved and cared by the parents. However, the other child which has pretty much gives everything he can to the family and did not create much troubles to the family was not getting much loved or cared compared to the former, sometimes even the parents will scream and scold the latter over small matters. How can the latter that was neglected overcome the feeling of hurt and being jealous of the former? Does this related to recognition of karma as well?
Your reply is highly appreciated, thank you.
Dear Carmen,
It is for sure the workings of karma. To be born of the same flesh and blood and yet treated differently is the group karma and individual karma at work.
Group karma is when we are born together in the same situation with others. Individual karma is when we experience things differently although we are in the same environment together with others…that is group and individual karma at work. Since we believe in karma, then it is important for us to accept karma and let go. karma helps us to let go and move on.
After all since we are adults, we learn to move on and let go. Perhaps growing up was hard in the environment you mentioned, but now we are adults, it’s good we take responsibility for ourselves and move on and not reflect on what happened in the past. We make a new life, new direction and new experiences for ourselves. We become stronger for the better due to our experiences.
Good luck to you. TR
Dear Rinpoche,
Appreciated on your explanation with folded hands _/|\_
With much love & respect
Carmen L
Rejoicing for others good work and success is the cheapest form of collecting merits; a lama once taught me. Sounds funny but true. Does not cost one anything!
Tsem Rinpoche, I do realise and aware of my jelously and I compare. When I aware I forcus on my heart do a chanting and bless to those who I jelous with and to those who I make compare. I had been doing this since I aware and realize my weakness. I am very afraid to hurt people where in the same time am hurting myself because am allowing these emotion to harm me and as to others. I stongly felt that am a very danger person. I am doing it cleasing it away honestly its not eassy but I am prepare and I shall continue to purify myself. Listening to your teaching I stongly felt that what am doing is correct but not enough. Thank you for the teaching.
Nice to know of your presence, Rinpoche. I’ve been suffering from some problems almost more than 15 years. I tried to move to a better state of life but I remain stagnant and for some other things especially financially, I got worse. I wish you can help me. I’m a Buddhist. Many people told me that I was being shelled and shelved by someone who doesn’t like us to succeed. I did a lot of prayers. It help but temporary. Then a recur re. I would like to ask help from you Rinpoche. And if I have the chance, I would like to be your disciple. Please help us. thanks
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for the short teaching.
I have realized that when I rejoice in other people’s success, it pushes me to beat myself. But when I am jealous with other people’s success, I naturally only want to beat the other person. Therefore, all my energy and thoughts are focused on the other person rather than on improving myself to succeed.
with folded hands,
Wee Liang
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Thank you Rinpoche for explanation on Jealousy. What about if we feel that there is unfairness or prejudiced situation that is been practise? Is it a similar application or feelings?
Thank you Rinpoche for answering Plinio Tsai question. I am sure it will benefit a lot more people out there and not only we students. I feel that what causes people to have jealousy starts from the mind and also from their Karma. You create the results of unhappiness through your own doing by being jealous. And you cause it. You also can choose to be happy and have a lot of friends by rejoicing for what they have achieved through their hard work. If you don’t have jealousy you won’t feel anger and unhappiness. Your friends will not shy away from you. And you will gain more friends. For jealousy is an enemy and the downfall of people. In the end it does not bring benefit but causes lots of sufferings to the mind which may affect your health also.
Thank you Rinpoche for this clear and easy to understand explanations.
Thank you Rinpoche. The teaching is very enlightening.
Valentina
Thank you Rimpoche, this is so heplful to hear, please keep answering questions, we do need this remind over and over again.
‘Their success is not your problem’– thanks that is beautifully said. It made me read AL question in a very different way than I would have before I heard it.
Thank you Plinio for posting this question and Rinpoche for giving a short and profound teaching.
In short, I think we must all comtemplate from time to time the law of karma. Personally I believe jealousy is the worst enemy of all, because from there arises anger and negative speech and actions that would create more negative results for us in the future.
Learning to rejoice may not seem to be at hand in the beginning but like what Rinpoche has said, if a person’s success has brought much benefit to the majority, then we should all the more rejoice for those who have received the benefits and the hard work the person who has put into it.
If you cannot put in the effort like the others, the least one can do is to rejoice, rejoice is the best antidode for jealousy.
I felt I could really understand that Samsara is a meritocracy from this clear talk. Whoever achieved anything in any way, has done so because they have PAID for the result by their own efforts. Totally fair. If I make the same effort, I can achieve the same result.
Thinking about practical example, maybe it’s a bit like two people wearing t-shirts. One of them made the effort to wash their shirt in washing powder, rinse it and dry it nicely in the spin dryer, making it lovely and fragrant. The other person wore the same t-shirt for 50 days and it’s pretty bad; he also didn’t take a bath.
They stand next to each other and the second guy feels jealous because of the nice smell from guy number one.
But if he makes the same effort, he, too, will smell nice.
Very natural cause and effect reasons.
It would be helpful for me to check out the law of karma more to understand better the specific causes of results.
Thank you to Rinpoche for his extreme dedication to helping others understand and heal their own problems from that understanding.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for this enlightening talk on jealousy. I do understand the karma of it and I was wondering what about feelings of anger towards people who you discover constantly lies or covers up their true actions? Does it mean that it is my bad karma that instills people to lie or are they creating bad karma for themselves in the future?
Dear AL,
Well it always takes two hands to clap as the saying goes……you have every right to feel angry and hurt for people who lie and cover up their actions, it has occured in my life to me from people and I was hurt too. So I can relate to what you are saying…I realize that I must have done that to others in the past and the karmas comes around full swing like a wheel of sharp weapons back to me and hence I should be patient. . The only thing we can do is be patient and not retaliate back in a negative way to collect more negative karma. It should inspire you to practice dharma and realize everything in samsara’s nature is ultimately going to lead us nowhere. It should inspire to become deep in your dharma work. I wish you the best. TR
thank u Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche very much for the explanation.
There are many cases of jealousy where the person one is jealous of holds something as simple as wealth, power, etc., and of course that is subject to change and isn’t an attribute one should be jealous of really. However it’s all covered under Rinpoche’s explanation of karma. It’s the person’s karma, whether it brings a good result or not, or regardless of how the person reacts to it in a good or bad way — best to relate it to one’s own practice; feelings that are triggered to come up automatically can’t be blamed on the outside triggers. Very good, thanks.
Tsem Rinpoche, I humbly thank you for the amazing and pratical explanation! I have no words to express my gratitude and happiness towards your beautifull explanation…most of all very sharp and efficiently you have point out the self-cherishing mind without saying the terms, you have pointed out Pabongkha Rinpoche words with the eight wordly Dharmas, Patrul Rinpoche and Lama Tsongkhapa about karma and acceptance of law of causality, the text Wheel of Sharp Weapons was beautifully putted in pratical words… in a simple and direct way I saw the fluency of the Dharma and I rejoice in this amazing way to explain the Dharma. May you always turn the Wheel of Dharma for the benefit of all sentient beings. And precious teacher, vajra holder of Ganden Shartse, I humbly prostrate at your Dharma wisdom. May I alwas take refuge in the Arya Ratna Dharma in order to protect others from my own deluded thoughts and actions and may I always hold your precious advice at the crown of my head and center of my heart. My you my teacher remember me in all my future lives, and like today, bring me to the clarity and lucidity of Dharma with the hook of your compassion… I have no words to express my gratitute for this precious advice. I will watch many times and meditate in all your instructions. Thank you very much!
Wow, there is so much Dharma teaching in this one single response. I know virtually nothing about Dharma and there are so many good ideas in here that I had never heard before, “May I always take refuge in the Arya Ratna Dharma in order to protect others from my own deluded thoughts”, “May you my teacher remember me in all my future lives, and like today, bring me to the clarity and lucidity of Dharma with the hook of your compassion”, etc. Very useful to think on, thank you.