（译文请往下阅读）

Dear Friends,
Here are some old photos that I would like to share with you. It was my first job at Fotomat in Los Angeles and I was 16 going on 17. It was tough getting that job. I was so worried I would not get the job. But Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen intervened. They bring back bitter and nice memories of those days when I was younger in a huge city. My teenage years in Los Angeles, California. I lived there for eight years in Los Angeles at Thubten Dhargye Ling Dharma centre till I left in 1987 at 22 for India to become a Buddhist monk. My goal was to be a monk. I am grateful to the nice people I met in Fotomat who were helpful to me. There were some great colleagues. I will not forget them. I will not forget the lovely people I met in Los Angeles too. I wonder if they are alright.

Tsem Rinpoche

This single building is called a kiosk and the film developing company is called Fotomat. There were these Fotomat Kiosks all over Southern California in many shopping centre parking lots. They were all over back in the 1980’s. It was easy for customers to just drop off the film and pick up without leaving the car. Drive thru film developing place. A lorry would come once a day to pick up all the films to be developed and drop off finished ones I worked in three Kiosks (Sunset Blvd, Santa Monica Blvd and Beverly Blvd branches. I was transferred to various branches at my request throughout my years with them.) It would be a single building big enough for one person to sit with a cash register. And we would have to go to the bank to bank in the money once a day after our shifts were done daily. Some areas were dangerous at night and I was robbed at gunpoint around 4 or 5 times. I was scared but I also met alot of interesting people there. Sometimes we were very busy and sometimes no customers for hours. I would do my mantras, sadhanas and meditations during the time when not much customers. I did alot of mantras. It has a telephone and we would report to our manager daily for anything also. I had a very nice lady manager who was in charge of the store in our area.

These Fotomat kiosks had two windows on the left and right to open. The left/right windows can open are for customers to drive in and drop off the film to be developed. And a few days later they would come back to pick up the film that is developed. I had very good and nice customers too as well as ‘unique’ ones… We also sold Fuji, Kodak and Fotomat film for different size cameras. I worked in this type of Fotomat Kiosk for a few years. I worked here approximately from 16-19 years old I think. I was living on my own and my parents didn’t support me. They lived in New Jersey thousands of miles away. I was in Los Angeles on my own on my own choice so I would have the freedom to practice and learn dharma. I was able to work here and get enough money to pay rent and buy food so I can live at Thubten Dhargye Ling Buddhist centre in Los Angeles with the great Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen. I love Geshe La very much…he was kind to me. Our centre did not pay salary or provide free accommodations as they were very poor also. But there were a few very kind members that always helped me when I didn’t have enough of something…I was so happy to live at the centre with my teacher and was grateful to work at Fotomat so I can stay at the centre to study. I was very young but determined to learn the dharma.

When I visited the US a few years back, Fotomat had closed and all the kiosks were gone. I was looking forward to seeing them if they were still there. It would have been nostalgic.

My shrine in my room at Thubten Dhargye Ling Buddhist centre

I was 16 going on 17 years old and living in Thubten Dhargye Ling Buddhist centre in Los Angeles. I didn’t have a lot of money. I made very little I bought the Buddha statue made of clay for US$5 from a second hand shop on the way walking home one day. The rest are pictures of Buddhas and lamas I had done in the shop that developed photos I worked at. I would make offerings daily of water, incense and light. This altar was when I was living in Thubten Dhargye Ling in my small but very much loved room. Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen lived upstairs and I was so happy to live near this great master. I was very lucky. I slept on the bed on the floor in front of my altar. I use to sit in front of the altar to chant and do prostrations daily. I would do retreats of many mantras on weekends or days off in my room. Geshe La gave me the antique Vajrasattva thangka and White Tara thangka you see hanging on the wall. The rest was pictures I printed out at Fotomat and framed. I had framed pictures of H.H. the Dalai Lama, H.H. Zong Rinpoche, H.H. Trijang and Ling Rinpoche and Ven. Geshe Tharchin La and so on. Geshe La would give classes in the centre which I love and we would do our monthly Tsok and Dorje Shugden pujas together. Even back then my altar was very important to me. A sacred space. I like beautiful altars because the most important SPACE in one’s home is the altar. The altar is the portal for bringing our minds to a higher level and connecting to the enlightened ones. Sure the Buddhas are everywhere, but easier to focus for me if there was an altar. The altar is the most important space in our lives. It is where the Buddhas abide for me. I felt empty without it. This was my altar in the centre.

I was around 18 years old in this picture. It was taken by a student of H.H. Kyabje Zong Rinpoche’s. I was sitting outside in the back yard of Thubten Dhargye Ling Buddhist centre in Los Angeles. I like the Doors. Their music was appealing to me at that time and so I wore their t-shirt. I didn’t have a lot clothes. I use to borrow from friends or buy old 2nd hand clothing. Sometimes people would give me old clothing and I was grateful. It didn’t matter to me. I had very little money after rent and food but I was happy to live in the centre. But Dharma was much more appealing to me than anything else above music and all. This picture has many fond memories of living with the great master Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen. Also this is the place where I met His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche who gave me so much practices, advice and love. I will never forget. I would love to transport myself back to that time.

Two more pictures of myself in Los Angeles. This was on Sunset Blvd. I cannot remember who took the pictures. I had a pair of really cheap plastic sunglasses on. LOL. I thought I looked ‘cool’-double LOL! I had old clothes and shoes. Shoes were very expensive for me. When the soles of my shoes fell of partially and it often did, I would get the shoes repaired as I could not afford new ones. It was difficult making a living and trying to survive in a big city like Los Angeles. I grew up in a small sleepy town of Howell, New Jersey and the pace and cost of living was cheaper. But living with my parents or near them, they would not allow me to practice, learn and engage in deeper Buddhist practice which I was passionate about. They had their reasons.

I had to grow up fast in Los Angeles and that is why I moved away. I had to learn fast and fend for myself. I had to survive so I can do dharma. Fotomat was my very first job in Los Angeles. I had no financial help from anyone at that time so I had to work. I was on my own. I was determined. I was pretty much alone except for some good dharma friends and it was frightening at times. I was always afraid to lose my job so I worked very hard to perform and get salary. I didn’t want to be homeless. With no salary, I cannot pay my rental and food and how to stay at the centre and learn dharma? I didn’t want to lose that opportunity ever. That would be very difficult if I lost my job and I could not burden the centre. So I worked hard, learned from my mistakes and survived and was always trying to do better at work. I would not give excuses to my boss because how many times can you make the same mistakes? Many people needed a job so if you didn’t perform, they owed you nothing and you would be fired. It was not easy for a young boy as I started working and living on my own at 16 years old. I was afraid but at the same time happy I can live with a master and at the Buddhist centre. I felt very lucky.

This was me on Sunset Boulevard, West Hollywood in Los Angeles. All the clothes I am wearing were 2nd hand given to me by new friends who miraculously were my size and height. I will not forget all those friends I met in my teens in Los Angeles. Some were really kind people. I wonder where some of them are now. I wonder if they are okay? I made it as best as I could in Los Angeles. I eventually made it to India and became ordained as a Buddhist monk which is what I wanted.

(中文译文）

亲爱的朋友们，
以下是我想与你们分享的一些旧照片。 他们带回那我年轻时的一些美好回忆。

詹杜固仁波切

这种小建筑叫售货亭，这家冲洗胶片的公司叫“Fotomat”。1980年代，在加利福尼亚南部许多购物中心的停车场，处处可见这种“Fotomat”的售货亭。 不管是将胶片送洗或是取照片，客人都无需下车，十分方便，这是冲洗胶片的得来速。每一天都会有一辆卡车前来收集胶片准备冲洗，以及将冲洗好的照片送来。我曾在三个位于不同地点（日落大道、圣莫尼卡大道、比佛利大道）的“Fotomat”分店工作。跟这家公司工作的那几年，我要求被调派到不同的分店。这个售货亭的空间大小足以让一人坐下并摆放一台收银机。每一天值班之后，我们也必须到银行把当日所收到的钱存入银行。有的地区一旦入夜就会危机重重，我曾四、五次被匪徒持枪打劫，虽然可怕，但同时我也遇见了许多有趣的人。有的时候我们会非常忙碌，有的时候好几个小时都没有一个客人。我会利用人潮稀少的时间持诵心咒、修仪轨及禅修。一般上我会持诵大量的心咒。在那小小的售货亭里也放着一台电话，每一天若有什么事，我们会给主管打电话报告。当时我认识一位非常和蔼可亲的女主管，她负责掌管我工作的那一地区的店铺。

“Fotomat”的这种售货亭的左右两面墙有两扇窗，左右两边的窗户都能打开让客人从车子将胶片搁下，几日后再回来取洗好的照片。我遇过人很好、很友善的客人，也有非常“特别”的客人。当时为迎合不同大小的相机，我们出售富士（Fuji）、柯达（Kodak）及“Fotomat”的胶片。我在这种售货亭工作了好几年，大约是从16岁到19岁的期间。那个时候我自己一个人在外头住，因为我的养父母不支持我。他们住在千里之外的新泽西，我则选择一个人住在洛杉矶，因为这么做，我有学习和实修佛法的自由。我在这里工作所得的工资足以让我缴房租和填饱肚子。于是我就能在洛杉矶的图登达杰林（Thubten Dhargye Ling）佛教中心住下，跟伟大的格西簇亲格尔辛住在一起。我非常敬爱格西拉，格西拉待我非常好。我们的佛教中心没给人发工资或提供免费住宿，因为他们也非常缺乏资金，但是中心里有好一些非常好心的成员，他们常常在我缺乏些什么的时候对我伸出援手。能跟自己的上师同住在中心里我实在感到开心。在“Fotomat”工作也让我心存感激，因为工作所得的工资能支持我在佛教中心里住下来，并在那里学习佛法。虽然当时年纪轻轻，但我有学习佛法的决心。

几年前我到美国去，发现“Fotomat”已结业，所有的售货亭也都不存在了。我期待再看见这些售货亭，想知道它们还在不在。要是还在，那该令人多怀念。

17岁时我就住在位于洛杉矶的图登达杰林佛教中心。当时我没有多少钱，工资也非常少。某一天在步行回家的路上，我花了五美元从一间二手店买了一尊黏土制成的佛像。其他的佛菩萨和上师们的照片，我都在我工作的店铺把照片冲洗出来。每一天，我会在佛坛上供上清水、清香和蜡烛。这个佛坛就设在我那位于图登达杰林佛教中心里的小房间，房间虽小，但我却非常喜欢它。格西簇亲格而辛就住在楼上，能跟这位大师住在一起，我是多么的快乐，是多么的幸运。我的睡床就在佛坛前的地板上。那个时候我天天坐在佛坛前持咒及做跪拜。每当周末和假日，我都会在房里进行多个心咒的持诵闭关。在墙上挂着的那幅复古风的金刚萨垛唐卡及白度母唐卡都是格西拉送我的。其他照片都是我在“Fotomat”冲洗并装进相框里的，其中就包括达赖尊者、至尊宋仁波切、至尊赤江仁波切、林仁波切、格西塔庆拉和其他照片。在中心里，格西拉会给同修们授课，这是我爱的一项活动。除此，我们也会一起在佛教中心进行每月的荟供法会及多杰雄登护法法会。即使是那个时候，我也是非常重视我的佛坛，那是一个殊胜的空间。我喜欢美丽的佛坛，因为在一个人的家中最为重要的空间莫过于佛坛。佛坛是带领我们的心相续到更高阶层并且与证悟者连结的一道门。佛菩萨自然是无所不在，但若有一个佛坛，我会更容易保持专注。佛坛是我们生命中最重要的一个空间。对我来说，那是佛菩萨居住的地方。没有佛坛，我会感觉空荡荡。这是那时候我在佛教中心的小房间内的佛坛。

在这张照片里的我大约18岁，替我照相的是至尊嘉杰宋仁波切的一位弟子。背景是洛杉矶图登达杰林佛教中心的后院。我喜欢大门乐队（the Doors）。当时候他们的歌曲非常吸引我，所以我穿上了他们的T恤。我拥有的衣服太少了，于是我常跟朋友借衣服，或是买旧的二手衣服。有的时候人们会给我旧衣服，这于我是雪中送炭。我不在意这件事。在缴过房租和填饱肚子后，我只剩下一点钱，但我很快乐，因为我能住在佛教中心里。佛法比音乐及任何一个事物都更加吸引我。这张照片藏有许多跟格西簇亲格而辛这位伟大大师共同生活的美好回忆。这里也是我遇见至尊嘉杰宋仁波切——一个赐予我许多修持法、劝谏和关爱之人——的地方。我将永远铭记于心。我多么希望能回到那个时候。

再附上两张我在洛杉矶拍下的照片。这张摄于日落大道。我记不起来是谁替我照的相。我戴着的是一副廉价的塑料墨镜，哈哈哈！那时候我觉得自己酷毙了哈哈哈！我穿的是旧衣旧鞋，鞋子对我来说实在太贵了。每当我的鞋底脱落（而且这还经常发生），我会将鞋子修补好，因为我买不起新鞋子。要在像洛杉矶这种大城市谋生和生存实在不容易。我在新泽西豪威尔一个寂静的小镇长大，生活费用也是相对的便宜。然而，若跟我的养父母一起住或住他们附近，我就无法学习佛法，以及进一步投入佛法的修持中。他们基于他们的理由不允许我这么做。于是我必须自洛杉矶快速成长起来，这也是我离家的原因。我必须快速的学习，好照顾自己。为了学习佛法，我必须生存下来。那个时候没有人给我金钱上的援助，我靠自己过生活，我下定决心这么做。大多时候我都是独自一人，除了跟一些友善的同修一起之外。有的时候，这样的情况会让我感到恐惧。我因常害怕失去我的工作而非常尽心尽力地工作，这样才能取工资。没有工资，我将无法缴房租，也吃不起饭，那么我怎么还能在佛教中心里住，更遑论学习佛法了。我不想失去这个机会。如果我失去了工作，情况会十分艰难，而且我不能为佛教中心增添负担。于是我用心工作，从错误中学习、生存下来，并且经常尝试在工作表现上取得进步。面对上级，我不会给什么藉口，因为一个人能重犯一个错误多少次呢？还有许多人等着取代你，如果你没有办法把工作做好，没有人欠你什么，你自然会被解雇。16岁那年开始工作并且独自生活，这对当时年少的我而言实在不容易。我感到害怕，同时也感到快乐，因为我跟一位大师在图登达杰林佛教中心一起生活。我感到自己非常幸运。

我站在洛杉矶西好莱坞的日落大道。这张照片摄于1980年代。
For more interesting information:

• My Childhood in Taiwan…Revisiting…
• The Mala
• We Are Our Parents?
• Visiting my parents – Tsem Rinpoche
• I’m Requesting Ordination in 1987
• My Short Bio in pictures

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