Conversations in Love

By | Jul 20, 2017 | Views: 1,159

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(By Tsem Rinpoche and Pastor Han Nee)

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part“
~ Traditional Marriage Vow

In life, our actions and pursuits have always been aimed at finding happiness. Hence, when we embark on a permanent relationship like marriage, our goal is also towards finding happiness with another person. As we recite the marriage vows at our wedding, we fervently pray and place implicit faith and trust in a divinity to take care of our happiness and well-being. We envision a life of bliss together until the end of our days, growing old gracefully together, as we sail into our sunset years. Poets, bards, and singers have made this the topic of their work for time immemorial:

“Grow Old Along With Me
The Best Is Yet To Be
When Our Time Has Come
We Will Be As One”
~ John Lennon

Following our habituated way of thinking, the source of whatever happiness we seek from marriage appears to be the picture of an ideal partner. In fact, even as we embark on a long-term relationship with our partners, we already have expectations and projections on our partner. We expect to be happy when our partner conforms to our own set of norms, way of thinking, and expectations. In order to correct this mistaken view, we need to look deeply into ourselves and see that happiness does not come from holding mistaken projections and expectations. In fact, when these expectations and projections are unfulfilled, they are likely to cause us disappointment, pain, and anguish instead.

The ways to love and cherish your partner is to ensure their happiness and well-being are enshrined in the six marriage vows formulated by His Eminence the 25th Tsem Rinpoche, a renowned Buddhist teacher, whose books such as “Be Happy” and “Why I Make Myself Unhappy” show us how he skillfully applies Buddhist psychology to guide us towards real happiness. His six vows revolve around the most profound and unerring principle of how to be happy: be happy by making others (including our partner) happy and relieving them of their unhappiness.

After countless sessions of counseling couples on relationship issues by applying Buddhist psychology based on ancient wisdom and his profound insights into modern day psychological problems, Tsem Rinpoche noticed a recurring pattern in unsuccessful relationships. Taking this pattern, he formulated the following six vows:

  1. To be faithful
  2. To support each other through thick and thin
  3. To improve one’s weak points for each other
  4. Respect each other (including our beliefs)
  5. Share our wealth with each other, and
  6. Defend each other
Conversations in Love by Buddhist Pastor David Lai is a book aimed at teaching you how to live a fulfilling and loving relationship

Conversations in Love by Buddhist Pastor David Lai is a book aimed at teaching you how to live a fulfilling and loving relationship

Pastor David Lai, author of “Conversations in Love”, calls these six vows the Holy Grail of relationships and marriages. Taking and holding these vows involve both partners and requires a complete transformation in mind-sets and outlook. Instead of being fixated on yourselves and your own needs and wants, as you have been habituated to do in the past, you expand from the viewpoint of self-cherishing to cherishing your partner out of pure love for them. All of your best efforts should be invested in keeping these vows well and consistently. Your happiness is one hundred percent dependent on holding these vows.

“Conversations in Love” is a book consisting of six sets of conversations revolving around the above six marriage vows. Each chapter has an introduction that elucidates the advice given by Tsem Rinpoche on how to hold the particular vow in order to maintain a lasting relationship. What I find interesting is that each conversation, that follows the introduction and commentary by the author, discusses the vow from the different perspective of each one of the four speakers, as well as the problems and challenges involved, based on their individual observations and experience. The conversations are lively and scintillating. The most moving part of the book for me is in Chapter 6 – Love Beyond Beliefs.

 

Love Means Respecting the Beliefs of Each Other

The story of Tsem Rinpoche’s Uncle Naran and Aunt Hani and their extraordinary love for each other that transcended the bounds of religion and culture must surely make this the most moving part of the book.

The introduction states that a partnership must have the basis of mutual respect for each other. The respect must extend to embracing respect for your partner’s religious and cultural beliefs as well as the value systems that your partner holds, which governs their way of doing business, their ethics at work, the way to raise children, clean the house, drive the car and even do the shopping.

Tsem Rinpoche gives the beautiful example of the relationship of his Uncle Naran, a Buddhist, who married a Christian, Aunt Hani. Aunt Hani was a staunch Catholic and had unwavering devotion for the Pope. Uncle Naran, on the other hand, was a staunch Buddhist and was incredibly devoted to the Dalai Lama. However, the love between his uncle and aunt transcended their religious beliefs. They would go to each other’s church or temple for prayer services from time to time. They had their own simple altars by their bedside – one an altar to Lord Buddha and the other to Mother Mary. Their daughters embraced their beliefs by wearing a Buddha image, a crucifix and a pendant of Mother Mary, without any sense of confusion. Rinpoche’s aunt once told him: “I love my husband and I love everything about him and I go along with everything he says… I respect my husband and my husband respects me”. The daughters were made to feel that they had half of their father and half of their mother. So they were neither Buddhist nor Catholic. Rinpoche’s uncle was a “wonderful Buddhist, a good father, a good husband and a good person” and his aunt was a “wonderful Christian and person too.”

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Respect for each other led them to look for the common ground and the similarities such as compassion, understanding, love, generosity and patience. They were better people because they practised the core principles of religion, never criticising nor finding fault with each other’s faith or value systems.
Respecting our partner’s beliefs goes beyond religion. It also means we let our partner do things their way, or the way they are used to. Indeed, if you truly love your partner you would let them do what they really want to do. A person’s interests is what keeps them going. You should not tie them to you and insist that they spend all their time with you. This is not true love but selfish love. It shows that you love yourself and that you don’t actually love your partner. You are making use of them to fan your love for yourself.

In a conversation within the book, Brandon advises Foong, “If you truly love (your girlfriend), you must let her pursue what she loves. She loves to do charity on the weekends. You should join her from time to time and encourage her to do what she wants to do. Don’t think that it will take the time away from the time she has to spend with you. After all, she is doing something good and you have a whole lifetime to spend together anyway”.

If you build up a good daily relationship of genuine love and care for your partner, based on honesty and respect, trust will naturally develop in their minds. You will live in harmony, confident of each other’s love and support, with mutual trust and understanding underlying your relationship. The moment you stop them from doing what they had always loved to do before you married, conflict will arise. This is a sure recipe for arguments and disharmony in your marriage.

From the Conversation – The case of a recent divorcee, whose marriage fell apart because she had been caged in and controlled by a selfish and demanding husband.

Brandon: “She just got divorced and is quite emotional. She is still upset and is spending sleepless nights over it.

He (her husband ) apparently controlled her and didn’t like the fact that she is very passionate about a charity that she used to help out. She gave it up just to be with him. But after a year, her marriage fell apart.

She had enough and decided to divorce him because he started becoming more and more aggressive with her and she didn’t know what to do…He has been controlling her ever since they got married. He has been controlling and wouldn’t allow her to go out and volunteer at her favourite charity”.

Brandon: “Her husband made her quit her job when they got married”.

Stella: “It’s really sad. If only her husband would respect her and allow her to do what she wanted.”

Respect for each other must be built on a strong basis of sincere love and care. If there is no genuine love and care and there is no trust, honesty and respect, the marriage will surely crumble.

Below are other important and profound aspects of the six marriage vows that this book explains and discusses.

 

Love Is Being Faithful to Each Other All the Way

In the section on the vow of fidelity, Tsem Rinpoche gives a very profound and far-reaching piece of advice regarding how two partners in a marriage can remain faithful to each other:

“Every day of your lives together, from the very first day of your marriage, remind yourself of the qualities of your partner that caused you to fall in love with them.”

“The most important thing about getting married is the need to remain faithful to each other. We have chosen this person for ourselves, no one forced us to be with this person”.

I find that constantly reminding ourselves of the reasons why we fell in love is a most powerful piece of advice. If everyone were to follow this piece of advice with great love and compassion than surely any marriage would be able to survive even the worst crisis.

When we have checked a person out and seen for ourselves that they possess the qualities we like and that these are suitable or compatible qualities for our own, we should constantly remind ourselves of these qualities that made us fall in love with them in the first place. In fact, we should do this daily. The need to do this is especially crucial in times when difficulties arise. This constant reminder will help us weather the worst storms of life.

The price of being unfaithful is too high. Infidelity can break and shatter the partner’s heart. If there are children, it will affect their minds and influence their lives in the future. Children are young, vulnerable, and insecure emotionally. Hence, infidelity breeds worry and mistrust in a child’s mind. The crack in the precious circle of love of a family is hard to repair. This crack gets worse if the parent’s infidelity continues and the mistrust deepens. Eventually, as the marriage breaks apart, the entire family is torn apart, not just physically but emotionally as well.

Cheating on a partner in any way is disastrous for any marriage. Emotional cheating is a dangerous game, as the characters portray in one of the conversations in the book. It’s playing with fire, risking everything for a few moments of excitement of for the purpose of advancing in one’s career.

“There’s a fine line where flirting stops being harmless and borders on dangerous. Once emotions get into the mix, you get a recipe for disaster”.

 

Divorce and Dissolution of Partnerships Are Happening as Never Before

One reason given (in a conversation) for marriages of yesteryear lasting longer is that the elders did not accept divorce as an option.

“People (of yesteryear) are conservative and they hide their marital problems. After so many years they just live together although everything else is falling apart… They’d rather stay ‘nominally’ married than risk being scorned as a divorcee. So they stay unhappily married.”

Another speaker, Stella, notes that a few older friends have admitted that “they don’t have feelings for their spouses anymore but would rather stay married than start all over again.”

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Relationships Must Be Strenuously Maintained: the Daunting Prospect of a Marriage Especially When You Have a Career

There is no true marital bliss after a few years because the gritty reality of marriage sets in.

Stella: “But that’s what all human relationships are like if they are not maintained. Marriage is not a bed of roses like in the movies and it gets worse when you feel like you have to put up with this person for the rest of your married life. [That’s why (my partner) and I are not rushing into it. I’d rather focus on my career for the time being]”.

 

The Guy You Marry Transforms into an Overgrown Mama’s Boys

Brandon: “Boys are always nice when you are dating them. But when you marry them, they transform into overgrown mama’s boys. You suddenly have to take care of cooking, housework, kids, your career, if you have one, and you’re expected to perform at night…”!

 

How Does One Deal with the Problem of an Overgrown Mama’s boy?

One speaker, Stella, recounted her firm and skilful way of handling this. When she agreed to “iron her partner’s clothes”, she made it clear that she was helping him out initially. If he had continued to expect it, she would have pointed out that she wasn’t his maid and they “would have probably ended up arguing some more”. Fortunately, in this case, her partner was reasonable and did not insist that she continued doing it!

 

Love Partnerships Can Degenerate into Differences, Arguments and Conflict When Boredom Sets In

Brandon’s observation: For two people who have decided to begin a relationship, “everything will be fine for a few years, but your problems will start to crop up after that. You guys will be bored with each other. It will manifest in differences, arguments and conflict, you know, the kind of troubles that happen in all relationships”.

“I don’t think you guys are that bad but men (as well as some women)can change (degenerate)especially after they’ve been in the same relationship for a few years…They get too comfortable…familiarity breeds contempt”.

 

How Can We Ensure Partnerships Do Not Degenerate?

Changing your outlook and attitude from the start, and strenuously maintaining the relationship is keep to stop relationships from degenerating. Our attitude and outlook have to change. Instead of focusing on ourselves, we should focus outward towards our partner. We should also work hard at maintaining the relationship.

Another person in your life means you have to be always mindful about their happiness and well-being too. Whatever decisions or choices we make will have to be talked out with our partners as they will be affected. This is in sharp contrast to our making choices and decisions just for ourselves before we embarked on this relationship. So we need to take responsibility and adopt a whole new attitude and outlook in order to develop a truly loving relationship with our partners.

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Loyalty and faithfulness are necessary ingredients of a successful and enduring marriage and long-term romantic relationships. They are qualities that must be nurtured in each other. They are an expression of our sincere love for each other, and both partners must strenuously work at upholding the vow of fidelity in the face of the formidable challenges that confront them.

We should also work hard at maintaining the relationship by supporting, protecting and defending our partner through thick and thin. We need to put a great deal of effort into improving on our weak points for the sake of each other. We should respect each other and hold up each other’s image in the eyes of our family, our friends and the world.

 

Love is about Supporting, Defending and Protecting Your Partner All The Way

Never tire of consoling your partner or spouse. Never let them feel abandoned when they are mired in problems or difficulties. Never let them feel alone with their problems, nor leave them feeling unsupported when they are facing difficulties. Be the first to step up to be there for them, to help them face their difficulties. Listen to them, hear them out and support them. Just be there for them, even if it means just smiling, holding their hands or making a pot of tea for them, and giving them moral support.

Brandon narrates the story of his aunt who had been very supportive of her husband.

“My aunty is very loyal to her husband. Years ago, when there was a family dispute between my uncle (and her family), my aunty sided with my uncle. Her whole family wasn’t happy with her for a while because of it… it was probably over something petty. They are one of the most loving couples I know. Everybody respects her for that: they had a really loving relationship, the kind you see in the movies.”

Stella comments on Albert (the current partner of one of the guys in a conversation) who is nasty and spoilt, who throws tantrums all the time, and sulks.

“Albert wouldn’t make a good long term partner. When you have problems, he doesn’t exactly seem the type that would be there for you. He is too caught up in his own world. It’s really sad because that’s a lonely place up there”.

 

Love Is a Shield – I Will Defend You

We should defend our partners and spouses in order to protect them. We should never go around complaining and saying unpleasant things about our partners to other people. Our partners are not there to defend themselves and we are actually putting ourselves down as well as our partners in the eyes of others. Whether the other party listening to us agree with us or not, it is not right to air our dirty linen in public.

Our partners may have faults which sometimes rear their ugly heads. But overall, they are wonderful people to be around. It is when they are down, that we should support them and not put them down, or talk about them and make them feel worse. Let them know you are there for them whenever they might need you. In this way, you show your loyalty to your partner.

Whenever you talk about them, you should be talking about their good qualities to others, and how they are your pillar and source of support. One of the worst things to do is to complain and whine to friends about your partner.

In the book, one conversation is about the case of a female acquaintance who has been whining and complaining about her failed relationship with her boyfriend. She kept on and on about the things that he did and said, and what went wrong, (but from her own selfish point of view).

The speakers agree that it was in poor taste for her to air her dirty linen in public like that. Whatever problems in a relationship should be not be aired in public, but should be talked over with one’s partner.

Stella: “Girls tend to nit-pick at their guys thinking to get them to be someone they’re not.”

Never nit-pick at your partner, however good your intentions. It will really have a negative impact on the relationship and set it back. Instead, you can skilfully help your partner correct the fault without putting them down. The following is an example of how this can be done.

Stella: “There’s a fine line between good intention and nit-picking. When I first met Steve, I used to complain about his crumpled clothes he wore on weekends and he resented it. We argued a lot and I finally decided it was too small an issue to constantly argue over. So I changed my method. I would compliment him and be extra loving when his clothes were ironed and eventually, he reciprocated by taking some time over his appearance”.

 

Love Is about Transforming Yourself to Be the Best Person for Your Partner

Marriage gives both partners a wonderful opportunity to be the best person for each other. However, we ourselves should transform first. In actual fact, we ourselves should first change and transform our negative habituations to accommodate the other – work on transforming ourselves and not expect the other to change. Never attempt to change your partner. Never set conditions for your partner to improve first before you. Rather be the example of change, and your partner is sure to follow suit.

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Accept Your Partners as They Are – Never Try to Change Them

Stella: “Sometimes, you don’t find Mr Perfect. You find the regular guy with all his flaws. You make do, and you don’t try to change him or dump him or force him to be someone he’s not. You inspire him to change with love, sensitivity and a lot of patience”.

“Some girls tend to nit-pick at their guys and try to get them to be someone they’re not. My partner hates that about me and I learned to control my tongue real quick”.

 

I Will Improve My Weak Points for You

You should feel inspired to want to improve yourself because your partner has actually chosen you to be the one he or she will live with for the rest of their life. To live with you means to sleep, eat, and travel with you and to see your face every single day!

Instead of being nice to the rest of the world, and being nasty to your partner, you should be the kindest person of all to your partner. Remember, your partner will be the one to stick by you through thick and thin. Be the best you can be with your partner.

 

Never Let a Conflict – Differences or Arguments – Go Unresolved Overnight

Never use your speech or bodily actions to hurt your partner in any way. Never let a conflict or problem go unresolved and sleep on it. It gets worse the next day. People actually grow apart when they start to have differences and arguments. Then they stop talking to each other. All this can come about because you have wrong expectations and projections about your partner.

Your expectations and projections are based on your own upbringing. Always be mindful that you and your partner come from different backgrounds and upbringing. So you have been taught to do things in different ways because of your different upbringing. Respect for each other’s ideas and ways of doing things is important.

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If we begin on our part to improve on our faults and weaknesses, to become the best person for our partner, they will eventually reciprocate. If we adopt this attitude of continually seeking to improve ourselves for the other, our marriage/partnership will be a happy one, wouldn’t it? When we nurture each other in this way, our relationship will surely grow from strength to strength. Always be kind and respectful of each other.

In the book, there is a conversation in which Stella recounts how her partner reciprocated when she displayed a transformation from a negative attitude to a positive one.

Stella: “When I first met Steve, I used to complain about his crumpled clothes he wore on weekends and he resented it. We argued a lot and I finally decided it was too small an issue to constantly argue over. So I changed my method. I would compliment him and be extra loving when his clothes were ironed and eventually, he reciprocated by taking some time over his appearance.”

 

Entering a Commitment to Safeguard the Sanctity of a Relationship

When two people make the decision to marry and live with each other for the rest of their lives, they would have thought about it before finally making the decision. Their decision would be propelled by a truly deep and abiding love for each other. Hence, the very reason why two people decide to get married must always be upheld by their reminding themselves about it every day of their lives together. In general, marriage vows seal the sacredness of a relationship and the lifelong commitment of the partners to each other.

 

Love is about Sharing Whatever We Have with Our Partner

Sharing should be on a genuine “giving as much as we take” basis. We should neither take advantage of our partner nor adopt a selfish “give me” attitude. We should share in the truest sense whatever we have. This will strengthen the likelihood of the relationship being successful in the long term.
Whatever promises you have made to your partner, whether when you first met or later, you must keep your promises. Keeping your promise will bring to the relationship a sense of reliability that will engender you partner’s confidence in you. They will grow a deeper respect for you. A marriage must have a basis of mutual respect. This will foster greater respect and your children will trust you more, and in turn, you lead them to respect others in a similar way.

If you are genuinely unable to keep your promises to each other, you must sit down and talk with your partner, looking them in the eye. With sincerity, honesty, and from the depths of your heart, explain why you cannot fulfil your promise to your partner. Then ask your partner to help you fulfil that promise. Seek their support in whatever way they can give it. This is to prevent the marriage and the communication between the two of you from breaking down. This is to prevent the two of you from engaging in years of fighting, which will culminate in the two of you growing so far apart that you don’t even talk to each other anymore.

Here’s what it says in a conversation from the book:

Brandon: “You should share what you have with your partner. She would appreciate little gifts of love and appreciation from time to time, don’t you think”?

Brandon: “Most important of all is that you should be faithful and never forget to let her know what you are doing or where you are going especially when you are not in town. It’s very comforting and reassuring for them to be in the know. It also helps to send little sweet nothings now and again. Make sure you do it even if you’ve been in a relationship for over ten years.”

 

Why “Conversations in Love” Is a Must Read

This is a must-read book for anyone involved in or embarking on a long-term relationship. The book examines all the facets of such relationships, showing the possible faults and flaws in the make-up of people’s character and certain negative habituations and tendencies that may lead to a relationship breaking up. By holding these flaws and faults up to the light for us to see them clearly, the book points us to the six marriage vows once again. It highlights the fact that these vows unerringly guide partners in their relationship to ensure that they are happy and successful. Marriage and long term relationships will definitely succeed so long as these six vows are upheld.

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Indeed, as “Conversations in Love” is all about how to apply the six vows to guide us towards a successful relationship, it is a manual that helps us steer our marriage or long term relationship on a steady course on a day-to-day basis. It teaches us to be mindful that our partner is an individual with a different set of beliefs and value system, as well as different upbringing, who has actually chosen to live with us for the rest of their lives. It reminds us and warns us of the possible pitfalls and traps which we are likely to encounter on this journey with our partner, how to avoid them, and not to succumb to them.

The message is loud and clear. Both partners hold in their hands, the success or failure of their relationship. It’s a conscious choice for or against happiness, every step of the way, so long as no selfish distractions divert either of you.

 

Where to Buy

You can purchase a copy of Conversations in Love at any of our Kechara Paradise outlets or Vajrasecrets, our online store, both of which stock a large range of other books and Buddhist practice items.

Kechara Paradise – Bentong
84, Jalan Ah Peng,
28700 Bentong, Pahang.
Tel: +609 222 3880

Kechara Paradise – SunwayMas
23-1, Jln PJU 1/3G,
Sunwaymas Commercial Centre,
47301 Petaling Jaya, Selangor
Tel: +603 7803 3546

Vajrasecrets
https://www.vajrasecrets.com/conversations-in-love

 
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Pastor Lim Han Nee

About Pastor Lim Han Nee

A teacher for 30 years, it is no surprise that Pastor Lim Han Nee's life long passion was reading philosophical books to quench her thirst for knowledge. Upon meeting her Spiritual Guide H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche, she was amazed by the brilliance of the Dharma, and began to immerse herself in Buddhist Philosophy through countless of hours listening and studying the Dharma.
Pastor Lim Han Nee

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7 Responses to Conversations in Love

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  1. Anne Ong on Aug 18, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    I believe that in a relationship or partnership, there should be trust, respect,patience,supportive,compromising,honesty,sincerity and hero worship each other. Both partners must be open to each other with good communication for a better understanding. Otherwise it would be very difficult to survive. Both must be responsible in the relationship to improve things. Thank you very much Pastor Han Nee to share this wonderful article about love with everyone.

  2. Samfoonheei on Aug 9, 2017 at 11:15 am

    Marriage is a gift and plan for creation that men and women should live together. it provides a relationship through which husband and wife support each other as the relationship is built on love and faithfulness.Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.Being faithful makes our relationship and marriage last. Faithfulness is an important value in a marriage. After all, we pledged our vows of faithfulness and commitment ‘until death do us part’To me always give and take in both side makes a wonderful relationship.I am glad to hold on my vows for 33 years.
    Conversations in Love is a good and useful book for anyone wanting to embark on a long-term relationship.
    Thank you Pastor Lim Han Nee for sharing these beautiful post.

  3. Wan Wai Meng on Jul 25, 2017 at 12:12 am

    The human condition, requires most of of us 99% to be in one form of a relationship with one another, not necessarily a romantic one. So it really pays if one is good at maintaining relationships with one another.

    I remember reading other Buddhist literature that Buddha spoke about how one can be a successful house holder. The Buddha in actuality thought of everything, even teachings that benefit not only monastics but also lay people. Buddha’s teaching encompasses teaching us how to be good humans and maintain good relationships with all the people around.

    I remember a friend saying that relationships are very leceh I couldn’t agree more than that.

  4. freon on Jul 20, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    This is a very good review on the book “Conversation in Love” many of the mistake we have make when come to love. We actually do not know how to love someone properly. Many of us, wanted the person for the rest of our life is because of the feeling we have on that time. But, feelings can be fade. What is lasting in a relationship can’t just depends on feelings. How to love, how to maintain the relationship is something challenging in these days. As one of the media said, a relationship that can last for 10 years is consider a legend. Thus, we see many divorce cases going on. And, we will ask, why get married if this does not last long.

    This book, is an important books that alert us to be mindful in treating our partner. Never take for granted on the relationship. One of it I like very much is Improve for our love. In a relationship, I always think that I wanted to change the person to my preferences, but, I forget that is me the one need to improve ourself for our partner. Not to say suit them but to change and improve our self . I tried that, it works. From arguments I learn to see the reasons that causes the arguments and thus improve on it. When my partner looks at my improvement, this bring positive thought to him and he started to improved himself to. We grow together at last.

    Thank you Pastor Han Nee for this good review.

  5. Pastor David Lai on Jul 20, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Ahh… Conversations in Love. It was an interesting project in which I expanded on rinpoche’s teachings by creating 4 characters and having them interact with each other. Naturally, the characters were purely fictional and I kinda enjoyed creating little plots and relationship issue.

    Naturally, much of what I covered were based on the central theme of each point in rinpoche’s teachings. I found they were excellent themes to ‘flesh out’ relationship problems and issues. I thought they were pretty neat and realistic dialogue between adults, meaningful, and pretty entertaining. I hope more people would enjoy and glean something meaningful that will help them in their personal relationships.

  6. Sarah on Jul 20, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    Every couple planning to get married should read the six marriage vows composed by H.E. Tsem Rinpoche and practise them to ensure a lasting, happy relationship. The vows are based on basic Buddhist values of love, respect and cherishing others. With these wonderful precepts, you will be all right.

  7. Stella Cheang on Jul 20, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    Oh love, oh love, what a tricky topic. Love is something everyone desires and hardly satisfied with. It is no wonder many people seek advice from those who had succeeded in a relationship. While every relationship is unique because it makes up of two uniquely different individuals, but I tend to agree there are some common “rules” that can apply across all couples. In fact, I find that MOST of the same tips can be applied to the relationship between parents and children, siblings, housemates and also close friends.
    
For example, “support each other through thick and thin” or “defend each other”; this is most important in any relationship. Is it not appalling to find out that your partner / parents / siblings / housemates / closed friends change their opinion of you according to the tiding, and wouldn’t leave a finger to fend for your good name? I have seen wives rolled their eyes and make snide comments (no matter how endearing they think it might sound) whenever they mentioned about their husband. To an impartial 3rd party, I can’t help but feel that there is something wrong with the husband.

    Relationship is constant hard work. We need to be prepared to live the part of what we expect of the other person. We cannot expect our partner / parents / siblings / housemates / close-friends to be that warm, supportive, respectful and loyal person when we are selfish, cold hard, uncaring, sour face and always look down on them. Thank you very much, Pastor Han Nee, for this review. It is a good reminder for us to relook at how we are treating others to get the desired relationship we are looking for.

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I’ve created this section for all of you to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings about whatever interests you.

Everyone has a different perspective, so this section is for you.

Tsem Rinpoche


SCHEDULED CHAT SESSIONS / 聊天室时间表

(除了每个月的第一个星期五)
SUNDAY
8 - 9PM (GMT +8)
4 - 5AM (PST)

UPCOMING TOPICS FOR AUGUST / 八月份讨论主题

Please come and join in the chat for a fun time and support. See you all there.


Blog Chat Etiquette

These are some simple guidelines to make the blog chat room a positive, enjoyable and enlightening experience for everyone. Please note that as this is a chat room, we chat! Do not flood the chat room, or post without interacting with others.

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Be friendly

Remember that these are real people you are chatting with. They may have different opinions to you and come from different cultures. Treat them as you would face to face, and respect their opinions, and they will treat you the same.

Be Patient

Give the room a chance to answer you. Patience is a virtue. And if after awhile, people don't respond, perhaps they don't know the answer or they did not see your question. Do ask again or address someone directly. Do not be offended if people do not or are unable to respond to you.

Be Relevant

This is the blog of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche. Please respect this space. We request that all participants here are respectful of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche and his organisation, Kechara.

Be polite

Avoid the use of language or attitudes which may be offensive to others. If someone is disrespectful to you, ignore them instead of arguing with them.

Please be advised that anyone who contravenes these guidelines may be banned from the chatroom. Banning is at the complete discretion of the administrator of this blog. Should anyone wish to make an appeal or complaint about the behaviour of someone in the chatroom, please copy paste the relevant chat in an email to us at care@kechara.com and state the date and time of the respective conversation.

Please let this be a conducive space for discussions, both light and profound.

KECHARA FOREST RETREAT PROGRESS UPDATES

Here is the latest news and pictorial updates, as it happens, of our upcoming forest retreat project.

The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.

Noticeboard

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  • Samfoonheei
    Tuesday, Aug 9. 2022 12:46 PM
    The Great Buddha of Kamakura ,is a bronze statue of Amida Buddha, which stands on the grounds of Kotokuin Temple in Kanagawa Prefecture, Japan, a temple belonging to the Jodo Sect of Buddhism. Wow…. it has long been the second tallest bronze Buddha statue in Japan,with a height of 11.4 meters. It is one of Japan’s most fascinating historical landmarks where thousands of tourist from all over the world visited yearly. The statue is an iconic sight and most visited by tourist in the area. Merely looking at this huge statue tells all and a blessing indeed.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful sharing of a BIG Buddha Statue.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/art-architecture/daibutsuthe-great-buddha-of-kamakura.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Tuesday, Aug 9. 2022 12:45 PM
    Found this old inspiring video briefly showing our Lama HE Tsem Rinpoche ‘s life and the stories behind Kechara organization. Interesting….. Beautiful and meaningful video.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this video.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/world-peace-by-tsem-tulku-rinpoche.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Tuesday, Aug 9. 2022 12:44 PM
    The Dharma Bums were a U.S. garage band, formed in 1987 in Portland, Oregon, United States. The band had performed everywhere, and sing varies of subjects travelling around the world. The best is even Dharma songs as well revolving around Tibetan culture and religion. One of the band members is a long-time student of Tibetan Buddhism. Listening to the powerful Crystal Diamond Vajra Dakini, is a blessing.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/film-tv-music/dharma-bums.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, Aug 7. 2022 03:05 PM
    Interesting spiritual journey of Venerable Longlian one of the best-known students of a famous religious leader of modern China. Venerable Longlian was a talented child, at the age of four she could read, write well and was fluent in Chinese poetry. She even could recite scriptures and Buddha’s name and had visited frequently to templesqith her grandparents. Ven. Longlian studied everything from poetry to Chinese medicine under famous teachers at that time. Received teachings from Tibetan scholars as well and took initiations of the three main Gelugpa tantric deities, Vajrabhairava, Guhyasamaja and Chakrasamvara from Changkya Khutukhtu, who was one of the highest authorities in the Gelugpa school of Tibetan Buddhism. She did composed more than 1000 poems, through her years.
    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor Shin for this interesting write up of China’s most outstanding Bhiksuni.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/ven-longlian-modern-chinas-most-outstanding-bhiksuni.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, Aug 7. 2022 03:02 PM
    In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, monastic vows are for life. But somehow Ci’en temple in Zhejiang province offers three-month course and part-time vows recently. Situated in the luxurious forest, Ci’en temple a small temple remains its charm with impressive landscape and Buddhist culture. The Buddhist temple decided to offer admission to civilians who wanted to experience a monk’s life, only to be overwhelmed with applicants. It’s a small temple , hence only those were interested in Buddhism were given a chance. Participants of the program will live as monks in the temple free of charge. They will learn about Buddhist culture, read its scriptures and will also perform all Buddhist activities as arranged. It’s a good training ground to live as a monk or nun to cultivate minds.
    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor Shin for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/ven-longlian-modern-chinas-most-outstanding-bhiksuni.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, Aug 7. 2022 03:00 PM
    Ditsa Monastery is a Tibetan Buddhist monastery of Gelug sect in the Huzhu County of Qinghai province. Interesting history of this Ditsa Monastery, been shared . How the reincarnated Lama’s body has shrunk into an incorruptible adamantine body. Nobody at the monastery has realised that the reincarnated Lama was a Great Bodhisattva who came to the world for all sentient beings, but as ordinary people. Its only after the Lama had passed away. Since then the monks in Ditsa Monastery became more serious in their practice and maintained pure moral discipline. Reading this post has gave me a better understanding of that Bodhisattvas come into the world with a variety of manifestations as explained by Rinpoche. Set as a reminder to devote ourselves to our teacher with sincerity and respect and everyone we encounter.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/the-miraculous-vajrayogini-of-ditsa-monastery.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Aug 4. 2022 12:19 PM
    Lama Ole Nydahl is a Buddhist teacher and author in the tradition of the Karma Kagyu lineage. After years of studying Buddhist teachings and meditating , he was ask to go back to the West set up Buddhist centers. He was also the founder of over 600 Buddhist centers worldwide. As advice by his teacher the 16th Karmapa Rangjung Rigpe Dorje whom he met at Kathmandu, Nepal he founded the first Buddhist center in the west. Had studied and took many more initiations under many highly attained Lamas such as Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, Gyaltsab Rinpoche, Ogyen Tulku Rinpoche and so on.He was also the founder of over 600 Buddhist centers worldwide. Since then, he has travelled worldwide giving lectures, leading meditation courses and guiding Buddhist centers . Lama Ole is the author of several books and is one of the best known western Buddhist teachers. Through his activities the Karma Kagyu lineage is one of the most popular Buddhist traditions in the West. Lama Ole Nydahl received the transmission of the Phowa teachings from highest Tibetan masters and is today the most significant teacher of this practice in the Western world. Interesting biography .
    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor David for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/lama-ole-nydahl.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Aug 4. 2022 12:18 PM
    Meditation on death awareness is one of the oldest practices in all Buddhist traditions. Buddhist meditation practice of remembering that death can strike at anytime and anywhere. We should practice diligently and with urgency in every moment, even in the time it takes to draw one breath. Over the centuries Buddhism has evolved many different techniques such as mindfulness, loving-kindness and visualisation. Death awareness can serve as a real aid to practice, the importance of using every moment wisely, while we still have the time.
    Reading this article again to refresh , it’s a profound teachings one should read and understand it what is all about. All it take us 10 minutes of our time to do the practice.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this profound teachings.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/ten-minutes.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Aug 4. 2022 12:15 PM
    So blessing seeing all those beautiful Tara at Kechara . Walking through the Tara walk feeling the calmness as if we are walking into the wilderness of a forest . One will surely feels it , all due the kindness of our Lama Tsem Rinpoche , sponsors and those involved in this meritorious project.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing with folded hands.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/kechara-13-depts/21-taras-of-tara-walk.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Monday, Aug 1. 2022 02:33 PM
    n Buddhism, there are a variety of attitudes towards different forms of fasting . According to Buddhist tradition, Buddha’s holy form as the ‘Fasting Buddha’ serves as a reminder for us and inspiration of Buddha’s difficult journey to achieve enlightenment. Fasting Buddha Shakyamuni fasted for forty-nine days under the bodhi tree while subjecting his body to extreme conditions to achieve enlightenment. Although it is believed that the Buddha endured great agony because of prolonged fasting, he never gave up and had used the challenges to justify abandoning his spiritual pursuit. Interesting read. Looking at all those images of Fasting Buddha tells all.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing ….a reminder all of us nor matter what happen , never give up in our spiritual journey.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/art-architecture/fasting-buddha.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Monday, Aug 1. 2022 02:32 PM
    Reading this again, its worth as great teachings by great Masters and looking at those rare pictures is a blessings. More over listening the powerful Holy voices of HH Kyabje Zong Rinpoche is indeed rare and precious. Merely by hearing HH Kyabje Zong Rinpoche’s voices and teachings is a blessings too. For everyone at the hall understands all about the Dharma Protector after hearing HH Kyabje Zong Rinpoche’s explanations. The truth is the truth and it cannot be wrong. Interesting read with precious pictures tell us a thousands words. Kyabje Zong Rinpoche’s advice on Dorje Shugden’s Practice with Chinese, Japanese, Nepali and Spanish subtitles is incredible so many more people will come to know the thruth.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this great sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/kyabje-zong-rinpoches-advice-on-dorje-shugdens-practice.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Monday, Aug 1. 2022 02:30 PM
    They always say time changes things, yes true enough time has changed the view of many regarding the Dorje Shugden controversy. Finally we are allowed to practise Dorje Shugden. HH Dalai Lama was at Bodhgaya said that if people wish to practise Dorje Shugden would be fine for them. Great news indeed. H H Dalai Lama had said openly about Dorje Shugden .
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/we-thank-his-holiness-the-dalai-lama.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Jul 28. 2022 01:58 PM
    Wow…. Very special indeed seeing this Vajrayogini statue given to our Lama H E Tsem Rinpoche by a young Malaysian in Bodhgaya, India. More ever given at the most sacred place, under the sacred Bodhi tree. That’s wonderful and it was later consecrated by Kensur Rinpoche of Gaden Monastery. Hence this Vajrayogini statue is very blessed and special . Merely looking at this special Vajrayogini statue is a blessing.
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/bodhi-tree-vajra-yogini.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Jul 28. 2022 01:56 PM
    Pictures of His Holiness 16th Karmapa with His Holiness Trijang Rinpoche tells a thousand words. Karmapa is Chenresik , while Trijang Rinpoche is Vajra Yogini. This is a true display of spirituality of two greatest masters of Tibetan Buddhism. They are really close together and have a good relationship just for benefit of beings regardless of the traditions they belong as such as Gelupa or Karmapa. Together they even cross incarnation each other, working together for the growth of Dharma. We are fortunate to see this rare photo of this Great Dharma Master.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/mind-blowing-connections-between-two-high-lamas.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Jul 28. 2022 01:56 PM
    Venerable Geshe Thupten a Tibetan great scholars and master from the Gelug tradition and was one of the pioneers who founded Tibetan schools in exile. He has upheld the lineage of Lord Buddha’s liberating teachings as well as continued his practice of Dorje Shugden. The Supreme Path to the Trikaya, text of quintessential Dharma was written by Geshe Thupten Lama. In the texts a very detailed explanations on the practice of the Six Paramitas or the Six Perfections, and other beneficial Dharma treasures was written. Geshe Thupten Lama has worked tirelessly for the Tibetan government in exile yet labelled as a spy. All because he has written a letter to HH Dalai Lama and expressing his view openly regarding the practice of Dorje Shugden. Reading this again more understandings and truth revealed. Interesting read.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this great sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/the-supreme-path-to-the-trikaya.html

1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · »

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Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Justin Ripley, Pastor Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

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The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn\'t this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
3 years ago
According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn't this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden\'s blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
3 years ago
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden's blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
3 years ago
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat\'s doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
3 years ago
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat's doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
3 years ago
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
3 years ago
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
3 years ago
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
It\'s very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it\'s very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
3 years ago
It's very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it's very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
3 years ago
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
3 years ago
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
3 years ago
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
3 years ago
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
3 years ago
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
3 years ago
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
3 years ago
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
3 years ago
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
3 years ago
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
3 years ago
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat\'s land here in Malaysia
3 years ago
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat's land here in Malaysia
Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
3 years ago
Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
Thailand’s ‘Renegade’ Yet Powerful Buddhist Nuns~ https://bit.ly/2Z1C02m
3 years ago
Thailand’s ‘Renegade’ Yet Powerful Buddhist Nuns~ https://bit.ly/2Z1C02m
Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
3 years ago
Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
3 years ago
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
Sacred Vajra Yogini
3 years ago
Sacred Vajra Yogini
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
3 years ago
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
3 years ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha\'s mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
3 years ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha's mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha\'s. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
3 years ago
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha's. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
3 years ago
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
3 years ago
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
This is pretty amazing!

First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
3 years ago
This is pretty amazing! First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche

Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
3 years ago
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can\'t stop thinking of you and I can\'t forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
3 years ago
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can't stop thinking of you and I can't forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
3 years ago
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
3 years ago
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
3 years ago
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
3 years ago
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
3 years ago
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
3 years ago
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
3 years ago
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
3 years ago
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
DON\'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
3 years ago
DON'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
3 years ago
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
3 years ago
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
3 years ago
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
3 years ago
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
3 years ago
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
3 years ago
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
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Videos On The Go

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  • Pig puts his toys away
    3 yearss ago
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    Animals are so intelligent. They can feel happiness, joy, pain, sorrow, just like humans. Always show kindness to them. Always show kindness to everyone.
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    3 yearss ago
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    3 yearss ago
    Bodha stupa July 2019-
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    3 yearss ago
    Cute Tara girl having a snack. She is one of Kechara Forest Retreat’s resident doggies.
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    3 yearss ago
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    This is what they do to get meat on tables, and to produce belts and jackets. Think twice before your next purchase.
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  • Our Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir speaks so well, logically and regarding our country’s collaboration with China for growth. It is refreshing to listen to Dr. Mahathir’s thoughts. He said our country can look to China for many more things such as technology and so on. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 yearss ago
    Our Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir speaks so well, logically and regarding our country’s collaboration with China for growth. It is refreshing to listen to Dr. Mahathir’s thoughts. He said our country can look to China for many more things such as technology and so on. Tsem Rinpoche
  • This is the first time His Holiness Dalai Lama mentions he had some very serious illness. Very worrying. This video is captured April 2019.
    3 yearss ago
    This is the first time His Holiness Dalai Lama mentions he had some very serious illness. Very worrying. This video is captured April 2019.
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  • This dog thanks his hero in such a touching way. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 yearss ago
    This dog thanks his hero in such a touching way. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Join Tsem Rinpoche in prayer for H.H. Dalai Lama’s long life~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYy7JcveikU&feature=youtu.be
    3 yearss ago
    Join Tsem Rinpoche in prayer for H.H. Dalai Lama’s long life~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYy7JcveikU&feature=youtu.be
  • These people going on pilgrimage to a holy mountain and prostrating out of devotion and for pilgrimage in Tibet. Such determination for spiritual practice. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 yearss ago
    These people going on pilgrimage to a holy mountain and prostrating out of devotion and for pilgrimage in Tibet. Such determination for spiritual practice. Tsem Rinpoche
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  • Get ready to laugh real hard. This is Kechara’s version of “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane!” We have some real talents in this video clip.
    3 yearss ago
    Get ready to laugh real hard. This is Kechara’s version of “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane!” We have some real talents in this video clip.
  • Recitation of Dorje Dermo‘s mantra or the Dharani of Glorious Vajra Claws. This powerful mantra is meant to destroy all obstacles that come in our way. Beneficial to play this mantra in our environments.
    3 yearss ago
    Recitation of Dorje Dermo‘s mantra or the Dharani of Glorious Vajra Claws. This powerful mantra is meant to destroy all obstacles that come in our way. Beneficial to play this mantra in our environments.
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    3 yearss ago
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    Beautiful sacred Severed Head Vajra Yogini from Tsem Rinpoche's personal shrine.
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    3 yearss ago
    My little monster cute babies Dharma and Oser. Take a look and get a cute attack for the day! Tsem Rinpoche
  • Plse watch this short video and see how all sentient beings are capable of tenderness and love. We should never hurt animals nor should we eat them. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 yearss ago
    Plse watch this short video and see how all sentient beings are capable of tenderness and love. We should never hurt animals nor should we eat them. Tsem Rinpoche
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    This happens daily in slaughterhouse so you can get your pork and Bak ku teh. Stop eating meat.

ASK A PASTOR


Ask the Pastors

A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

Scroll down and click on "View All Questions" to view archived questions.

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CHAT PICTURES

Is this where Rinpoche received the thangkha of Dream Manjushri?
2 weeks ago
Is this where Rinpoche received the thangkha of Dream Manjushri?
Is this the ruins of Zimkhang Gongma established by Panchen Sonam Drakpa. -Choong
2 weeks ago
Is this the ruins of Zimkhang Gongma established by Panchen Sonam Drakpa. -Choong
We hold our DS puja weekly without fail. We welcome you to join us. Penang DS puja @ 3pm~ by Jacinta
2 weeks ago
We hold our DS puja weekly without fail. We welcome you to join us. Penang DS puja @ 3pm~ by Jacinta
DS PUJA @ Penang. A close up of the offerings. What a feast! #Throwback 23/7/2022.
2 weeks ago
DS PUJA @ Penang. A close up of the offerings. What a feast! #Throwback 23/7/2022.
#Throwback 23/7/2022. Our weekly DS puja attendees. All of us were getting ready to invite Buddhas to come forth, joining and blessing us during DS puja. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
2 weeks ago
#Throwback 23/7/2022. Our weekly DS puja attendees. All of us were getting ready to invite Buddhas to come forth, joining and blessing us during DS puja. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
#Throwback23/7/2022 Welcoming Buddha Shakyamuni, Gyenze, Shize & Namgyalma to Penang chapel. Abundance offerings, including sensory offerings were nicely set up and offered up to Buddha surfing our weekly DS puja @ 3pm, Jalan Seang Tek, Penang ~by Jacinta
2 weeks ago
#Throwback23/7/2022 Welcoming Buddha Shakyamuni, Gyenze, Shize & Namgyalma to Penang chapel. Abundance offerings, including sensory offerings were nicely set up and offered up to Buddha surfing our weekly DS puja @ 3pm, Jalan Seang Tek, Penang ~by Jacinta
Kechara Earth Project 17 July 2022
3 weeks ago
Kechara Earth Project 17 July 2022
Kechara Earth Project 12 June 2022
2 months ago
Kechara Earth Project 12 June 2022
#Throwback. Visitation of Ven. Zawa Tulku Rinpoche and Ven. Geshe Jangchup Gyaltsen to Kechara Penang Chapel on 17/5/2022. We did a short prayers together. Really happy for the short visit. Kechara Penang Study Group~ by Jacinta
2 months ago
#Throwback. Visitation of Ven. Zawa Tulku Rinpoche and Ven. Geshe Jangchup Gyaltsen to Kechara Penang Chapel on 17/5/2022. We did a short prayers together. Really happy for the short visit. Kechara Penang Study Group~ by Jacinta
Photo from JC
2 months ago
Photo from JC
Trying to WE-fie. Do we get that just alright, lol? Come and join us next time at Jalan Seang Tek, Kechara Penang Chapel. Celebrate Wesak with us ~ by Jacinta
3 months ago
Trying to WE-fie. Do we get that just alright, lol? Come and join us next time at Jalan Seang Tek, Kechara Penang Chapel. Celebrate Wesak with us ~ by Jacinta
Trying to "WE-fie". Do we get that just alright, lol? Come and join us next time at Jalan Seang Tek, Kechara Penang Chapel. Celebrate Wesak with us ~ by Jacinta
3 months ago
Trying to "WE-fie". Do we get that just alright, lol? Come and join us next time at Jalan Seang Tek, Kechara Penang Chapel. Celebrate Wesak with us ~ by Jacinta
Celebrated Wesak Day 2022 in Penang, with a group of fun, committed, helpful and also devoted friends & family. Kechara Penang Study Group 15/5/2022 ~by Jacinta
3 months ago
Celebrated Wesak Day 2022 in Penang, with a group of fun, committed, helpful and also devoted friends & family. Kechara Penang Study Group 15/5/2022 ~by Jacinta
Vesak Day 2022 - Bird liberation. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
3 months ago
Vesak Day 2022 - Bird liberation. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
All attendees are paying homage to Rinpoche and Buddhas before the start of our weekly Dorje Shugden puja. Outwardly, it seems that Dorje Shugden helps practitioners overcoming their obstacles and problems but ultimately Dorje Shugden’s supreme purpose is to help practitioners on their path to Enlightenment. Do join in our weekly DS puja, every Saturday @3 pm at Jalan Seang Tek, Penang. ~by Jacinta
3 months ago
All attendees are paying homage to Rinpoche and Buddhas before the start of our weekly Dorje Shugden puja. Outwardly, it seems that Dorje Shugden helps practitioners overcoming their obstacles and problems but ultimately Dorje Shugden’s supreme purpose is to help practitioners on their path to Enlightenment. Do join in our weekly DS puja, every Saturday @3 pm at Jalan Seang Tek, Penang. ~by Jacinta
All of us are practicing on how to properly use dorje(Vajra), bell and damaru ~ Kechara Penang Study Group by Jacinta
3 months ago
All of us are practicing on how to properly use dorje(Vajra), bell and damaru ~ Kechara Penang Study Group by Jacinta
After inviting Dorje Shugden Wangze, Pastor Seng Piow teaches us how to use ritual objects and the full set of prayer accompanying it. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
3 months ago
After inviting Dorje Shugden Wangze, Pastor Seng Piow teaches us how to use ritual objects and the full set of prayer accompanying it. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
With great happiness, merits and excitement that Penang Group have invited Buddha Wangzey to Penang chapel, complete with full rituals and prayer. 30th April 2022 Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
3 months ago
With great happiness, merits and excitement that Penang Group have invited Buddha Wangzey to Penang chapel, complete with full rituals and prayer. 30th April 2022 Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
Come and get your blessing from Lama Tsongkhapa and Dorje Shugden in Penang @ Jalan Seang Tek ~ by Jacinta.
4 months ago
Come and get your blessing from Lama Tsongkhapa and Dorje Shugden in Penang @ Jalan Seang Tek ~ by Jacinta.
Special thanks to one of our dedicated Penang group members, Choong for superb tormas. Swift Return Puja @ every Saturday, 3pm. Do contact William for more info ~ by Jacinta
4 months ago
Special thanks to one of our dedicated Penang group members, Choong for superb tormas. Swift Return Puja @ every Saturday, 3pm. Do contact William for more info ~ by Jacinta
Thanks to William for being the Umze for Swift Return Puja at Penang Centre. ~ by Jacinta
4 months ago
Thanks to William for being the Umze for Swift Return Puja at Penang Centre. ~ by Jacinta
The members of Kechara Penang Study Group are offering serkym to Dorje Shugden and His entourage. There's puja every Saturday @ 3 pm at Penang Chapel, Jalan Seang Tek. All are welcome. ~by Jacinta
4 months ago
The members of Kechara Penang Study Group are offering serkym to Dorje Shugden and His entourage. There's puja every Saturday @ 3 pm at Penang Chapel, Jalan Seang Tek. All are welcome. ~by Jacinta
We are in the third week of Ramadan this year, and kind volunteers have never failed to feed people in need since Tengku Zatashah started this meaningful #zerofoodwastage initiative in 2016. The aim is to benefit the underprivileged with nice surplus food collected from Ramadan buffets. Every night during the month of Ramadan, volunteers collect surplus cooked food from hotels and distribute it to charity homes and low-income families. THANK YOU, Tengku, dedicated volunteers and hotel partners, for making this Ramadan special for the underprivileged. #kecharasoupkitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment - KSK @ Vivian
4 months ago
We are in the third week of Ramadan this year, and kind volunteers have never failed to feed people in need since Tengku Zatashah started this meaningful #zerofoodwastage initiative in 2016. The aim is to benefit the underprivileged with nice surplus food collected from Ramadan buffets. Every night during the month of Ramadan, volunteers collect surplus cooked food from hotels and distribute it to charity homes and low-income families. THANK YOU, Tengku, dedicated volunteers and hotel partners, for making this Ramadan special for the underprivileged. #kecharasoupkitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment - KSK @ Vivian
We were chanting Migsetma mantra at the time this picture was taken. Thanks to all our Penang members who are very committed to attend Swift Return puja weekly. Kechara Penang Study Group, every Saturday @ 3pm. ~by Jacinta
4 months ago
We were chanting Migsetma mantra at the time this picture was taken. Thanks to all our Penang members who are very committed to attend Swift Return puja weekly. Kechara Penang Study Group, every Saturday @ 3pm. ~by Jacinta
William, who is our leader/ Umze is cleaning the pantry and Gordon offered up 4 carton of packet drinks today. We cannot thank you enough for all kind hearted who sponsored various offerings weekly. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
4 months ago
William, who is our leader/ Umze is cleaning the pantry and Gordon offered up 4 carton of packet drinks today. We cannot thank you enough for all kind hearted who sponsored various offerings weekly. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
Siew Hong came with a basket of fruits while Choong, who is expert in baking offered tormas today for our Swift Return Puja. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
4 months ago
Siew Hong came with a basket of fruits while Choong, who is expert in baking offered tormas today for our Swift Return Puja. Kechara Penang Study Group ~by Jacinta
Dedicated sisters, Sharyn and Swee Bee. They always make sure our puja offerings, especially fruits are arranged nicely. Kechara Penang Study Group ~ by Jacinta
4 months ago
Dedicated sisters, Sharyn and Swee Bee. They always make sure our puja offerings, especially fruits are arranged nicely. Kechara Penang Study Group ~ by Jacinta
Committed and hardworking Kechara Penang members, Mr. Tang and Mr. Huey. Really appreciate having you both at our weekly puja . Kechara Penang Study Group ~ by Jacinta
4 months ago
Committed and hardworking Kechara Penang members, Mr. Tang and Mr. Huey. Really appreciate having you both at our weekly puja . Kechara Penang Study Group ~ by Jacinta
KSK medic personnel have been tending to the needs of the clients every week. Their consistent kindness helps improve the medical welfare of those without a home. Thank you for serving and making them your priority on your weekends. #medicteam #kecharasoupkitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment
5 months ago
KSK medic personnel have been tending to the needs of the clients every week. Their consistent kindness helps improve the medical welfare of those without a home. Thank you for serving and making them your priority on your weekends. #medicteam #kecharasoupkitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment
In the midst of chaos, let's start healing. We have Dorje Shugden Puja every Saturday @ 3 pm. Contact William for more info. Kechara Penang Study Group. ~ by Jacinta.
5 months ago
In the midst of chaos, let's start healing. We have Dorje Shugden Puja every Saturday @ 3 pm. Contact William for more info. Kechara Penang Study Group. ~ by Jacinta.
5 months ago
Pastor is in da' house!!!! Kechara Penang Study Group @ Saturday, 3 pm. Contact William for more info ~ by Jacinta
5 months ago
Pastor is in da' house!!!! Kechara Penang Study Group @ Saturday, 3 pm. Contact William for more info ~ by Jacinta
5 months ago
6 months ago
After Dorje Shugden puja @Penang Chapel, Jalan Seang Tek, members went to a nearby vegetarian shop for gathering. #CNY2022 #HappyReunion by Jacinta.
6 months ago
After Dorje Shugden puja @Penang Chapel, Jalan Seang Tek, members went to a nearby vegetarian shop for gathering. #CNY2022 #HappyReunion by Jacinta.
In 2021, we've encountered far too many challenges—Pandemic, months-long lockdown, landslide, and flood. We are proud to witness Malaysians helping one another as these agonies come sequentially. Looking back to 2021, Kechara Soup Kitchen has made significant progress, with more to come in 2022. Every year, we move a little closer to our vision. We are immensely thankful to have such dedicated teams of volunteers willing to go above and beyond for our clients. Not to mention our sponsors and donors; none of this would have been possible without you. Thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for helping the underprivileged to a better future. Have a blessed year ahead from our hearts to your hearts. #2022 #newyear #kecharasoupkitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment
7 months ago
In 2021, we've encountered far too many challenges—Pandemic, months-long lockdown, landslide, and flood. We are proud to witness Malaysians helping one another as these agonies come sequentially. Looking back to 2021, Kechara Soup Kitchen has made significant progress, with more to come in 2022. Every year, we move a little closer to our vision. We are immensely thankful to have such dedicated teams of volunteers willing to go above and beyond for our clients. Not to mention our sponsors and donors; none of this would have been possible without you. Thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for helping the underprivileged to a better future. Have a blessed year ahead from our hearts to your hearts. #2022 #newyear #kecharasoupkitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment
Ipoh members were taking turns to offer Serkym and lights to Dorje Shugden. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
8 months ago
Ipoh members were taking turns to offer Serkym and lights to Dorje Shugden. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
Kechara Ipoh members were preparing for Dorje Shugden puja. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
8 months ago
Kechara Ipoh members were preparing for Dorje Shugden puja. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
Kechara Ipoh Study Group has carried out Dorje Shugden puja in Ipoh on 4th Dec 2021. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
8 months ago
Kechara Ipoh Study Group has carried out Dorje Shugden puja in Ipoh on 4th Dec 2021. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
Jun, our new Ipoh member, offered lights to Lama Tsongkhapa, Dorje Shugden & The Three Jewels. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
9 months ago
Jun, our new Ipoh member, offered lights to Lama Tsongkhapa, Dorje Shugden & The Three Jewels. So Kin Hoe (KISG)
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Dorje Shugden
Click to watch my talk about Dorje Shugden....