It’s Worse to Say Nothing than to Say the Wrong Thing

Jan 31, 2017 | Views: 1,931

grief

There will be times when horrible things happen to our family and friends, or when we see someone we know in deep pain and grief. When this happens, most of us may not know what to do or what to say to make the other person feel better.

Human nature makes us innately want to help when someone we care about is going through a difficult time. Although there are some who do not possess such empathy, the majority of us will feel this way, and we may even feel helpless when nothing we do seems to allay their pain.

If you find yourself in such a situation, this article provides five simple pointers of what you can do. Do read and keep these methods in mind; bringing others relief from pain, whether physical, mental or emotional, is one of the core methods to develop true compassion and care in our being,

Tsem Rinpoche

 


 

How to Speak to Someone About an Unspeakable Loss

By Linda Carroll on Wednesday December 28th, 2016

Five Ways to Help When You Feel There is Nothing You Can Do

“It’s not about saying the right things. It’s about doing the right things.” ~ Unknown

Years ago, my family and I moved to a bucolic little town in New Zealand, where we were immediately swept up into a group of ex-pats and locals. We felt deeply connected to this community by the time I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the local hospital.

When our son was three months old, a doctor heard a heart murmur. Twenty-four hours later, he died.

In the days and weeks that followed, I wandered in my own fog of grief as I went about the necessary tasks of ordinary life: shopping for food, taking our other kids to school, doing the usual mounds of laundry.

Meanwhile, my new friends kept their distance. I saw them take great care to avoid me: to cross the street, switch supermarket aisles, literally do an about-face when they saw me coming.

Invitations stopped coming. The phone went silent. My grief was marked by a deeper isolation than I’d ever known.

When our son was three months old, a doctor heard a heart murmur.

Later, many of these people apologized. They told me they were terribly sad and distressed about what had happened, but hadn’t known what to say. My loss was so enormous that words seemed inadequate, even pitiful.

They said nothing, out of fear that they would say the wrong thing.

This sort of experience repeats itself in many different forms: a friend gets dumped by the love of her life, a colleague is given notice at a job he’s held for two decades, or a loved one receives the dreaded news that she has inoperable cancer.

What can you say?

While it’s not an easy question to answer, one thing is certain: It’s worse to say nothing than to say the wrong thing. Here are five ways to respond helpfully to people who have suffered an enormous loss.

It’s worse to say nothing than to say the wrong thing.

 

1. Manage Your Own Feelings First

When we learn that disaster has befallen a loved one, we initially feel shock. Our heart rate increases, our thoughts either speed up or slow down, and we may experience nausea or dizziness.

The anxiety we feel is real and personal. Our instinct, though, is to ignore it, find ways to numb it or minimize it. That’s a mistake.

If we address our own anxiety first, we’ll be in a much stronger position to respond well to the person most directly affected. Do the things you know how to do to manage stress. A walk in the woods, some meditation or yoga, or talking to a trusted friend can help.

Make sure your own body and emotions are regulated before you turn to the person in grief.

 

2. Now Focus on the Other Person

Remember that the isolation they feel is almost as painful as the shock and the sadness of the loss itself. If you avoid them because you don’t know what to say, this avoidance serves only your needs.

Our friends and other loved ones need our comfort, support, and involvement during times of sorrow.

Although there isn’t a right thing to say, there are some things to never say. They include the current favorite, “Everything happens for a reason,” or “I know just how you feel.” How do you know there’s a reason, and what difference would it make to a grieving person, anyway? And you don’t know how they feel—only they do.

Our loved ones need our comfort, support, and involvement during times of sorrow.

 

3. Admit That You Don’t Know What to Say

That’s a good start. Try something simple that breaks the ice and starts a conversation, or at least sends a message to the other person that they’re not alone.

“I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could say the perfect thing, but I know there’s nothing to fix it. I just wanted you to know I care and am here with you.”
 

4. Listen

If the person is willing to talk, listen. It’s the single most vital thing you can do.

Listen to their story without interrupting. Don’t turn the conversation back to you with statements like, “I know what you’re going through—my dog died last year.”

Don’t tell them what they will, or should, feel. Simply acknowledge their pain and listen to what it’s like for them.

We all have different styles of managing shock and distress. Some people are angry, while others seem numb. Still others turn to gallows humor. Your job is not to correct them but to give them space to be the way they need to be.

Simply acknowledge their pain and listen to what it’s like for them.

 

5. Rather than Saying, ”Let Me Know If I Can Do Anything,” Offer to Do Something Practical and Specific

Taking on an ordinary task is often most helpful. Offer to shop for groceries, run errands, drive the kids somewhere, or to cook a meal or two. Ask if you can call tomorrow, or if they want to be left alone for a few days.

When Survey Monkey’s CEO Dave Goldberg died suddenly, his wife, Sheryl Sandberg, wrote the following:

When I am asked, “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, “My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am?” When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.

Taking on an ordinary task is often most helpful.

Today, as I recall the loss of my own infant son, I think about the one person who did truly comfort me. She arrived at my house with a bottle of fine brandy and said, “This is everyone’s worst nightmare. I am so, so sorry this has happened.”

Then we sat on the lawn and she poured me a drink as she listened to every horrible detail.

As I look back now, I still feel how much her gesture helped me cope through those early days of pain. She didn’t try to fix me or try to make sense of what happened. She didn’t even try to comfort me. The comfort she gave came through her being in it with me.

You can’t fix what happened, but you can sit with someone, side by side, so they don’t feel quite so alone. That requires only intention, a willingness to feel awkward, and an open, listening heart. It’s the one gift that can make a difference.

 
Source: http://upliftconnect.com/speak-about-an-unspeakable-loss/
Feature Image: Artist Unknown

 
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42 Responses to It’s Worse to Say Nothing than to Say the Wrong Thing

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  1. Moon Chan on Sep 26, 2020 at 5:49 pm

    We are living in a Fast-Paced world, which people easily stop feeling something. This make them harder to identify how they really feel, especially anxiety, fear and anger. The author reminds us what we feel is real and we should acknowledge it, so that we can heal and transform.

    Let say we address our own anxiety first, it mean we are in progressing, we are grounded and it would help us to hold space for the others who are in anxiety too. It is because we understand how anxiety affect to us.

    “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could say the perfect thing, but I know there’s nothing to fix it. I just wanted you to know I care and am here with you.”

    These are good words to say to anyone who is in grief. I have always love the feeling of someone sit beside me, side by side, to get some accompany. It’s sweet, still, with a willingness to feel awkward, even if that person is one you are not so close with. Through an open, listening heart, everyone’s broken heart can be cure.

    I also believe when you accept and allow yourself to feel, you would know what kind of comfort you need, then you know what others need too. For eg, I know I am sad, but I don’t know what to say, I want to feel safe to express. For this, I understand many people do not know how to reach out to get support. So, be courageous to reach out to others is a thing for me to learn.

  2. S.Prathap on Jun 10, 2019 at 12:14 pm

    Wonderful article that we could overcome situation of grieving and of helping loved ones and friends.This is so true that we have to manage our own feelings first before we approach to other people especially when they are in pain and grief.
    A simple gesture or words of consolation could be exactly the all that the person need to carry on for the next moment. Being a good listener is definitely the best thing to offer because, for the person who is suffering, his/her only outlet and relief is speaking the pain out.
    Thanks for the five ways ……

  3. Tan Soon Huat on Apr 15, 2017 at 10:20 am

    Thank You Rinpoche for sharing this valuable article. I made me think that with these practice might help us to nurture our compassion or bodhichitta (one of the toughest topics to me personally in Dharma path). I will try to practice this whenever I can.

    The tragedy happened to the writer and Madam Sheryl Sandberg reminded the death of my father. He passed away in 2000 due to heart attack and left us in sudden without a word left to us. I was lost and do not know how to cope with it.There is no Guru (I have not yet met Rinpoche and joined Kechara yet) for me to seek for advice. However, with the little limited Dharma knowledge I have. I asked my family to be vegetarians for 3 months and I did not inform any of my friends (some still blaming me for that). I just wanted to leave alone and chanting Omitabbha mantra to my dad day and night. I do miss him till today. However, for those who has offered help to me to run some errands for my dad’s funeral I appreciate very much till today in my heart. I personally think, Guru, the Dharma knowledge and center is very important to us especially when our family passed away; at least we do not feel lost. I did feel helpless and lost when my father passed away (some even blamed me for offer just vegetable to my father as he was not vegetarian).

    I hope I can help others in future in this type of tragedy. Thank You Rinpoche.

    Best Regards,
    Soon Huat

  4. Justin Cheah on Apr 12, 2017 at 9:23 am

    I am really thankful and glad that I have actually read this article. It teaches us we should look at the situation from the “victim’s” angle and not from our angle.

    I guess it has been a normality and seems like a given thing to do whenever we hear someone we know lost their family members/partner/friend and we give them space. Our part of ignoring or just mere a simple message is deemed as giving them space. This is just from our angle and yes I do agree if there are exceptional situations where the victim really needed to be alone and probably we should just leave them alone because we are more worried of hurting them deeper by making them think about their loss.

    But what I found most importantly is, even if the victim actually needed to be alone, it doesn’t necessarily say we should leave them alone. We should at least offer some help to her this so called victim pull through. We should at least be there mentally and physically to help the victim whether he really needs us or not.

    After reading this article and learning this situation from another angle, I think I am already a better person where I will think more for others. This is one basis where Rinpoche always teaches us to be caring and always think for others. I am one person who tends to automatically think for others. I am now able to think more for others at least. This makes me feel bad too because I haven’t been doing so but I will from now on know what I should be doing when similar situation arises.

    Really thankful to this sharing Rinpoche as this makes me think deeper and act on my flaws. Thank you again, justin

  5. Pastor Albert on Apr 12, 2017 at 8:18 am

    I’m very very fortunate to read this article, in just 5 simple points but it has clearly pointed out much we can do to a person who is in grief.

    There are many powerful quotes that allow us to digest fully to become a more caring and understanding person, when someone close to us are in grief, even we really don’t know what to say, even if we just remain silent, but at least we can be present, be a listener and give support to that person.

    I always used my thinking to put it on others, example, when I’m in grief or unhappy, I prefer to be alone without other people disturbing, so with this, I also thought that when others in pain, they would want their own space and not others to disturb. But Linda Carroll said this only serve my own need, not others. It is very true, we think, we assume, it is all about myself, I don’t like this, I assume others to don’t like as well, I want to be like this, I assume others to be the same, but everyone is different, how can all be the same?

    Lesson learn from this article is, when someone else are in grief or unhappy, instead of imagining my own feeling in that situation, I should focus out and feel what they feel. It’s not about saying the right thing, but it is doing the right thing.

  6. Pastor Chia on Apr 12, 2017 at 8:16 am

    I am glad reading this article to learn some knowledge for helping people during akward situation when they facing pain of lose or depress mode. I experienced most of the people are sad and depress, listen their story and companies them by their side to show my support with them. Some time people just to need to let it all out with their emotion. When it out they felt better not keep holding their emotion and suffer from that pain.

    Having said that, is alway hard to start to break the silent, don’t know what right thing to said when people feel sad. Is important for us to make any convasation to show care to comfort others. I learn more to be selflessness and put other first when they need help. Thank for Rinpoche sharing this article

  7. Pastor Antoientte on Apr 12, 2017 at 7:58 am

    In times of pain and loss we feel down and depressed. As described in the article, many tend to avoid to talk to us because they may think that they will say something wrong and only create more suffering. But this is not true as we give support in times of need. By listening, we allow the person to express herself if she wishes to talk and give a support that is much needed in difficult times.

    This article is a good reminder that we should not be afraid but to follow our heart and not be scared to show our support. Telling the person that we are there for her, and that she can count on us and to help in daily life does help. It is easy to be a good friend in good times but it may need courage to be a good friend in difficult times but during this time it is more important and more helpful.

  8. Mingwen on Apr 12, 2017 at 7:53 am

    Before everything happened, as a person, we all should strive to be a a better person, a person who is understanding, patient, rational, cool headed and more. These positive qualities of a person could save lives of a stranger’s who is planning to jump off a 65- stories height building, a friend who has broke his leg and lost his job, a family member who has diagnosed that he can only live for another 3 months. I’m bringing this out here is because no one will ask for helps and supports from a person they do not like, has no sense of secure, untrustworthy and more. We might have close relationship with many people, but when they face problems will they look for us? Or it is worse that even we go forward to provide care, the person will ask us to leave directly or indirectly, because he/she think that “Kent could never know how I feel and he will not able to help because he cannot even take care of himself and was criticising our best friend,Joe, during his lowest point of life, saying that he is like a lady who cannot bear with what has fallen on his shoulders.”

    I think deep and I wish people who are here think deeper.

    If we do not care about others due to our selfisheness. We should even do more to prepare ourselves to help, because we do not know when we need the same help.

  9. June Kang on Apr 12, 2017 at 2:07 am

    The article alert me on we are more focus on ourselves and we made assumption. The assumptions we made can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of communication and therefore we say nothing. Apart from assumption, most of us still struggling should we say or not to say. In my opinion this is all depend on our motivation.

    Beside we can develop our compassion through handling this type of situation. Many of us mistaken Compassion is same as empathy; empathy is you place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling. However compassion is more than empathy, compassion bear the pain for others. Compassion always works together with Wisdom. Compassion and wisdom is just like 2 eyes work together and see things deeply. That is my level of understanding. By developing our compassion, we should easily handle suggested points mentioned in the article.

  10. Esther Goh on Apr 12, 2017 at 12:42 am

    This article reminds us to be mindful of our words and actions when dealing with people during their bereavement or in times of despair. After reading and discussion in the KFR group chat I have learnt not to use these 2 sentences (things happen for a reason & I can understand how you feel). Everybody react and feel differently in dealing with their loss so we can never understand how they feel. The 5 points that you have highlighted will be very useful in helping me to handle situations like this in future. Instead of saying or doing nothing we can lend them our ears or a shoulder to cry on to let them know that they are not alone. Through dharma I have learnt so much about selflessness. Thank you Rinpoche for helping me to become a better person through your teachings.???

  11. Eric kksiow on Apr 12, 2017 at 12:34 am

    An article that make my day ( knock, knock and wake up ). I am a human and still contain the 3 poisons ( Desires, Hatred and Ignorant ) within my mind, those situations happened to me for all the time, eg : if my friend fall sicks, their parents, siblings and pets passed away. The common words i always used : Bro/Sis be strong, take care, may Buddha bless you and family, i’ll pray for you.. Except these words, i don’t really know what to say anymore. Frankly speaking, i don’t even spend time on them and listen to them.

    What i learned from this article?

    Admit That You Don’t Know What to Say
    That’s a good start. Try something simple that breaks the ice and starts a conversation, or at least sends a message to the other person that they’re not alone.

    “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could say the perfect thing, but I know there’s nothing to fix it. I just wanted you to know I care and am here with you.”

    Listen
    If the person is willing to talk, listen. It’s the single most vital thing you can do.

    Listen to their story without interrupting. Don’t turn the conversation back to you with statements like, “I know what you’re going through—my dog died last year.”

    Don’t tell them what they will, or should, feel. Simply acknowledge their pain and listen to what it’s like for them.

    We all have different styles of managing shock and distress. Some people are angry, while others seem numb. Still others turn to gallows humor. Your job is not to correct them but to give them space to be the way they need to be.

    Rather than Saying, ”Let Me Know If I Can Do Anything,” Offer to Do Something Practical and Specific
    Taking on an ordinary task is often most helpful. Offer to shop for groceries, run errands, drive the kids somewhere, or to cook a meal or two. Ask if you can call tomorrow, or if they want to be left alone for a few days.

    When Survey Monkey’s CEO Dave Goldberg died suddenly, his wife, Sheryl Sandberg, wrote the following:

    When I am asked, “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, “My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am?” When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.

    Why i wanna copied these few sentences? It’s remind me if the same situations happened to me again, i’ll practice it First and apply to others. If i wanted to convince others, i would make myself to showed in action rather than just talk only.

    Deepest from my heart
    Eric kksiow

  12. Pastor Henry Ooi on Apr 11, 2017 at 11:26 pm

    These are good pointers for most people as we do come across such situations and we got stuck not knowing what to say. All of us has gotten into such situations and may get into similar situations when we are the ones on the receiving end. How we felt and what we needed most during those difficult times may be similar to what others feel and need although they may be not the same. People in grief usually would want to express their sorrows and it would be a great help if we could lend our ears and shoulders.

  13. nicholas on Apr 11, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    It’s always caught in between when people are in such situation. Some may think of a way to help to fix or some may choose to avoid taught that better to say nothing than say the wrong thing.

    From this article it really help me to think that either what mentioned above is all about us rather than the person that in pain that going through the unfortunate situation. We are more worried about ourself.

    The 5 ways in the article really open up my mind. We should focus out for the person and our present is not to fix but to be there to support them. Sometimes what they need is our ear to listen or our present just as company. Everyone react to situation differently and there is no way we can tell people we understand what they going through but what best is our honest motivation to be there for them.

    What worst can happen when we offer to listen or company. If they really don’t need us then we just give them the space and time. The very least we try to be there for them.

  14. pammie yap on Apr 11, 2017 at 11:17 pm

    I’d usually say something simple than to say the wrong thing. Like ‘please take care, let me know if u need anything.’ I believe I would like to hear the same thing if I was going through grieving. Or help out in small little things to help ease a bit of burden like what was mentioned in the post. Maybe do some cooking, basic house chores, etc.

    But come to think of it now, after reading this post and discussion with KFR team and guests, I guess I can actually do more than what I said above. By physically being there for the grieving person helps a lot whether they want it or not. For the person to know that they are not alone and I will be there for them. In another way, I must learn to be more caring and understanding in order to do more to ease their pain.

    Some of us prefer to leave it alone and try hard not to hurt the grieving person more, but I think that is wrong. We should actually be more mindful of their pain. In time, we can also encourage them to move on and heal.

  15. Tek Lee on Apr 11, 2017 at 10:28 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this article. I believe all of us in our life, will go through this moment one day. Is either we are the one that comfort others or, we are the one that are being comforted. I remember in year 2011, was the year that I had most of my family members passed away. First was my god father, then my grandmother, then my uncle. The one that I remember the most was my god father. It was a sudden death. Died because of heart attack. During his wake, my god sister was crying. I was in the same grief as her, but of course she had a deeper grief than me as it was her own father. I didn’t know what to say to her, I just pet my hand on her shoulder, gave her a side hug, and she leaned on my shoulder and cried. I think that was the most thing I could do during that moment. In my experience being comforted, I think most of the Chinese, especially guys, don’t really know how to comfort people. I remember during my university time, my girl friend broke up with me while I was studying in the UK and she was in Malaysia. I was in my greatest sadness in my own room, and suddenly my friend (guy friend) knocked on my door and just came out one sentence from his mouth “Don’t be so sad bro, aiya….. actually we all don’t like your girl friend one lah.” Then he walked out from my room and close the door just like that. I suddenly “woke up” from my sadness and stunt. I didn’t know how to respond. After that we joked about it, it was really funny and quite comforting in a way. At least he thought that was comforting and at least he did say something 🙂

    After reading this article, now I know when the day come, I know how to comfort people. I am a person that don’t really know what to say during that moment. I think the most I can do is, letting that person know that I am there for him/her, and listen to what she/he wants to say. Thank you Rinpoche _/\_

  16. Datuk May on Apr 11, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    There had been many times that I was caught in such a situation that I really felt so bad for the person that I did not know what to do nor to say if I was to touch base with the person who had suffered a horrendous loss.

    As such this article had helped me a lot to think of those past instances and what I can actually do now.

    The latest encounter had with this situation was when I received a whatsapp from a close relative of mine who told me that her husband was diagnosed with a stage 4 pancreatic cancer and had spread to the liver.

    My first reaction was sadness and as advised I put “myself” aside and instead of wallowing in my sadness, I called her instead of replying with a whatsapp message. I asked her about her husband and she started to cry and talked about what happened.

    I listened and then told her that I would go see her. I did that and it worked as she felt some relief in being cared for.

    There is really not best way to handle such instances but to focus out on the person in distress/grief and just face them with care and kindness and the rest will fall into place. As mentioned in this article, do not avoid by doing and saying nothing.

  17. Valentina Suhendra on Apr 9, 2017 at 2:43 am

    Dear Rinpoche

    Thank you for this wonderful post. The content of the post applies to everyone since all of us at one point of another have experienced loss of loved ones and undergone unpleasant experiences such as being fired from a job. I could understand how Ms. Linda Carol, the writer, feels when her friends avoided her after she lost her son. It is uncomfortable to be around friends who are experiencing misery. But I think to avoid them means that you are selfish. You don’t want to experience and share the suffering of life with your friends. If you just want to share the good time, then you are a user. As bad as it sounds but it is a fact.

    It is rare to find someone who would share both the good and bad times with you. However, it is even rarer to find someone who is willing to give you accurate feedback, press your buttons and risk uncomfortable reactions from you. I think those who are prepared to do that is a real friend and the kindest person. I found this quality in my spiritual teacher, H.E. the 25th Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, and I am forever grateful to him. I came to him with a fixed set of views of how things should be, but through Rinpoche’s kindness and advice, my views and the way I look at things begin to change.

    Valentina

  18. Joy on Mar 4, 2017 at 12:39 am

    These are very good tips because most often we really do not know what to say but to say nothing and do nothing is the worst. Sometimes people may not say anything but they can at least say it through their actions, simple actions like being around, helping out, even if it is to chip in and give a helping help during times of need say a lot!

    It is understandable when you do not know what to say to another especially if we are not close to them or we are afraid we may say the “wrong” things, but we can I guess show it through different means.

    When I experienced my husband died, I know there was nothing anyone could say or do to help me, no words of comfort could comfort, but people still did so and people were around, so that helped a lot. The worst part is when something tragic happens, like when a loved one passes, is for them to be left ‘alone’ on their own.

    I admit I am one of the worst person when it comes to saying something to another when they are experiencing something bad. Usually instead of saying the fake “I’m so sorry to hear the news” and then leave them be, cos I hate all those, so I usually won’t say such things but instead I try to be around and help out. And if it is someone I am close to, the best thing to do is to hug them and tell them you are here and actually really BE THERE. Your words/actions means a lot to the person and the last thing you need is fake comments and useless suggestions.

    So these are good tips for those of us who are tongue tied when something bad happens to someone by saying “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could say the perfect thing, but I know there’s nothing to fix it. I just wanted you to know I care and am here with you.” AND REALLY MEAN IT by being there and helping in any way no matter how small it may be.

  19. Julia Tan on Feb 22, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    This is a very helpful article for those who doesn’t know what to say or do when our friends are needed us the most. i am that type of person who will get suck into the sadness easily. when i see others cried, i will follow. So this is not really helpful. I really need to adjust my own emotional first. Hence when come to case this that, keeping him/her accompany, be there for her/him is really important. I am glad that today i learned something useful that can bring comfort to others when they are facing the tough time.

  20. wan wai meng on Feb 21, 2017 at 1:05 am

    A very solid and powerful article about how to be there for others when they are grieving or had a sudden unexpected loss. Very good to remember these five points to console and bring some reprieve to others.

  21. Lucas Roth on Feb 19, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    This is a very good article that I genuinely think everyone should read. It is excellent advice and this is just very useful as all people would go through a period where a loved one loses someone and you have to be there for them.

    I do believe that listening is the most important part to play in helping someone in a situation that cannot be helped. It is hard but most of the time they just need someone around and someone to talk to. Amazing article.

  22. Colin Tan on Feb 16, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    It’s natural that we would want to offer our help whenever we see our loved one or friends in deep pain. But often we do not know how to react and what to say. We sometimes choose to avoid the person and it usually means that we avoid facing the feeling we have too. If we could look within and examine our feeling, we normally feel shock, pain, fear too, same as the person who experience terrible things in their lives now. If we could deal with our feeling, accept it, know that we did nothing wrong, then we will naturally have the courage to face that person. Thereafter, we will find the right words to say and the appropriate help to offer. As long as we don’t give advice, lecture, but just show our sincere heart, willingness to listen and be with them, that will be all they need to pull them through the toughest moment in life.

  23. Lum Kok Luen on Feb 10, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    These tips are certainly pragmatic and I would say would be the most practical on how to respond or offer comfort for someone in grief.

    I remembered very clearly during my late mother’s bereavement in 2015, when a Kechara Pastor came over to offer to listen and to share the Dharma. I was having regrets over my mother’s passing, but the comforting words and the Dharma sharing by Pastor really turned my mind around and relieved so much of the pain and regrets that I had.

    The main and critical difference here is that being in Dharma and having friends and Pastors really help. I could imagine there are countless of us out there who are without Dharma and when they lose someone close, it is extremely difficult to cope and take a long time to heal, although some may not heal.

    I must really thank Rinpoche for bringing the Gelug lineage to Malaysia and opening up the Protector practice to us here so that we can embark on our Dharma journey more effectively.

    Humbly yours
    Lum Kok Luen

  24. Alice Tay on Feb 7, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    This is so true that we have to manage our own feelings first before we approach to other people especially when they are in pain and grief. For this instance, we can do meditation and do practice as per Rinpoche’s teachings which are definitely will help us to watch and monitor our mind. We may practice empathy and compassion, we should try to feel and understand the pain that the other people feel. On the other hand, we have to put down our ego and admit that if we really don’t know what to say. Remember that hold onto our ego will lead us away to enlightenment.

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this meaningful article.

  25. Lew on Feb 6, 2017 at 6:06 pm

    As I am getting older each day, the more chance I have to meet with such incidents of people passing. As spiritual practitioners, we should do our best to serve others and take care of the person’s well being. This article is really helpful especially point 5 where we actually help the person to do some of their daily routines which will help them to adjust their emotion during the difficult time. This article is really helpful for us to serve others better.

  26. Echeah on Feb 6, 2017 at 12:37 am

    The worst thing we as supposed dharma practitioners may tend to say when tragedy or calamity hits somebody is “It’s karma, it’s due to what you did in previous lives” and also, “Don’t take it too hard, this is impermanent”. Mind you, I’ve heard that being uttered as dharma advice and I cringe upon hearing that kind of counsel. It is heartless and crass. Though technically that is fact, the timing couldn’t be worse. That is rubbing it in and may turn people away from dharma.

    People do not need a sermon during vulnerable times, they just need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. It is great comfort to know that someone is there and available, someone shares your pain, someone is sensitive to your need and someone is willing to help take care of things if needed, again, if needed.

    Many a friend will walk down the other side and avoid you, I guess, because they prefer not to be dragged down by your grief, they are emotionally unavailable, they will take but not give. It just takes too much from them that they are not willing to give.

    It is also not good to pry. When someone asks for help for a problem, maybe even request for a puja with some brief information, then you come back and say tell us everything in detail, we want to know what exactly is your problem before recommending a puja, it could be a big turn-off. You don’t need to know all the details and the Buddhas already know all that needs to be known. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a wrong puja.

  27. Andrea Lai on Feb 5, 2017 at 2:30 pm

    After reading this article, I recalled back of my closed friend grief over her mom’s passing.Her mourning was so deep that I had to accompany her everyday.Actually, this article really helps a lot. At that time, I really speechless and I don’t know what I could do,to make my friend feel better.

    All I could do is accompany her, make her feel comfort, talk to her, mentality encourage her and advice her in spirituality. It’s quite hard to comfort people who are in grief and depression. A lot of patience need to put in. I’m glad my closed friend recovered from her pain and she is doing well.

    I humbly thank you Rinpoche for advice and sharing this great article.

  28. Jacinta Goh on Feb 5, 2017 at 12:50 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Having been through the trauma of losing the loved ones ( not once but twice) was indeed devastating. I think there are people who prefers silent support more than anything else. One great tips here is trying to see what we can do instead of asking unnecessarily or not doing anything. On the other hand, try to listen and listen (yes, listen) again eventhough we might have heard it several times. As relatives, try not to ask why happened like that or what should be done earliet to prevent this, especially now as a Buddhist, we know that death can happened anytime, anywhere and to anyone. Another thing is, try to be the last to go and the first to arrive ( if we are closely related). Offer to be on guard to allow those who are grieving to have some rest.

    Very very thankful having friends (even Pastors and Kecharians) and family to be with me when my dad and bro passed away.

    Thank you Rinpoche for this great article.

  29. Pastor Lim Han Nee on Feb 4, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing the five meaningful ways of helping someone suffering a great loss, “when you feel there is nothing you can do”. Most times, we feel so helpless, we just clam up and avoid the person in grief, in case we put our big foot into our mouth. But now , this article advises otherwise.

    The main thing is to be there for that person, to just give emotional support . Even if we can’t find the right words to say, we can just do something simple from the heart, like cooking a meal for them. The best words of advice : “You can’t fix what happened, but you can sit with someone, side by side, so they don’t feel quite so alone. That requires only intention, a willingness to feel awkward, and an open, listening heart. It’s the one gift that can make a difference”.

    Having a “listening heart”, showing empathy and being there to show support and showing you care, will make a lot of difference to that person in suffering. It will start us on the road to developing compassion, as it is about not being able to stand seeing someone in pain and doing something real about it to relieve suffering.

  30. Callista on Feb 3, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    After reading this article, it makes me think about mistakes that often made for item 2 and item 5.
    How ignorance I am.
    With this article which is simple and precise. I will use it as self- improvement and to help others.

    Thank you
    Tsem Rinpoche
    With folded hands

  31. Vivian Ong on Feb 3, 2017 at 12:28 am

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this article. I truly agree that sometimes that we are lost of words to comfort other people who are in grief or sad. Thank you very much for the tips given on how to help or being with those people who are in pain. All we want to see is that they don’t stay much longer in their sad state and to recover quickly from it.

    With folded palms,
    Vivian

  32. graceleong on Feb 2, 2017 at 11:37 am

    “” Do read and keep these methods in mind; bringing others relief from pain, whether physical, mental or emotional, is one of the core methods to develop true compassion and care in our being “” this is indeed the precious message from Rinpoche !!

    When our motivation is to “relief others” we will have to put aside our own feelings and emotions and focus on how best to help others. This core practice is the most basic and common practice but often the hardest to put in practice because we are so habituated to put “me first”. Due to this habituation we are often muddled and lost for words on how to comfort or help others. If we sincerely want to help then we have to put aside the “self”.

    At every juncture (good/bad) Rinpoche will use it as a teaching to help his students understand better, to reduce our ignorance and attachments. Rinpoche has recently demonstrated yet again this point of putting away the “self” through His own actions and I am very humbled by my Guru’s selfless compassion and wisdom . My deepest gratitude and with folded hands.

  33. Fong on Feb 1, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    Those are very helpful advice indeed. Many a time, I have faced similar situations where I didn’t know what to say at all except to hold their hand and give them a hug. That didn’t help my own feeling of inadequacy. But as per advice #1, manage your own feelings, we are of no help but rather may affect the other person with adverse emotions. So, it is very important and I agree that it is the no. 1 thing to do.

    So, a very timely and practical article for us. Thank you, Rinpoche for the article.

  34. Samfoonheei on Feb 1, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    Interesting article that we could overcome situation of grieving and of helping loved ones and friends.What to say and not to say involvement during times of sorrow…..something to learn from this article.Good sharing i did learn more of what to do during time of sadness and grief faced by friends or whoever so.
    I remembered when i lost my sister and my brother in law between one week apart never one comfort me as shared in this article.They were more interested in knowing how that incident happened. It was indeed very painful for me as i am already in shock,scared and sad.Through my experience a good gesture ,listening and accompany them will be good and helpful.
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this helpful and interesting article.

  35. Uncle Eddie on Feb 1, 2017 at 11:52 am

    It is without doubt, that during times of sorrow, anyone would yearn for hope of relief for their sorrowful pain and emotional mental agony. They are truly desolute of their need for compassion, suppot or any comforting words of consolution to ease the pain being forced upon them. As our friends, or family loved-ones who need our comforting and support at such time of calamity, shouldn’t we get involved? If you avoid them at such time of need, it serves to show your selfish purpose and not theirs! To console them at the meeting of such a sorrowful occassion, we should out of respect for their grief, allow them to speak first. We should remain a silent patience listener, having deep feeling and understanding for their sorrow, and finally to offer words of comfort to relieve their sufferings. Of course it is better to say something, no matter however simple it maybe, rather than to say nothing at all. Thank you Rinpoche for your wisdomised guiduance in this respect.

  36. Carmen K on Feb 1, 2017 at 2:28 am

    At one point or another, everyone will go through grief, and have that immense overwhelming feeling of pain within. Everyone experiences and deals with trauma and grief differently – some want to be left alone, some just want a shoulder, some dive into distracting themselves from their thoughts and the reality. Whatever it is, for certain, each and everyone wants to know they have people to rely on, fall upon in these times. I’ve been in situations before, not knowing what to do, or what to say, or perhaps saying the wrong things without realising it until the words left my mouth, but it’s better to be there for them and let them know that you are there for them, than to keep a distance. The care and comfort received might just propel the person, into overcoming their pain and grief in unimaginable ways. Pehaps people don’t want to say something to those in pain because they don’t want to have to go out of their way to do something to help, or perhaps your pain doesn’t bother them, but It would be good to put yourself in the shoes of those suffering, and think what you would need and want, and then you can do that. Thanks for sharing Rinpoche.

  37. Pastor David Lai on Feb 1, 2017 at 12:54 am

    This is an interesting article that touches on a sensitive subject of grieving and of helping loved ones and friends cope with intense grief. A year ago, my mother passed away and for the first time in my life, I felt that intense, paralysing feeling of grief and for the initial first few days of preparation for the wake, calling, meeting and talking to family and friends, I felt numb. I didn’t cry and could not cry because I didn’t really have the time or space to grieve.

    Talking about saying the wrong thing, I had a few people come up to me and my dad and tell me that we should have done more to prevent my mom’s death. Can you imagine that? After telling the story of how my mom passed away several dozen times, this was certainly a new reaction and nonetheless, it made my blood boil. Anyway, I didn’t really experience people keeping a distance that much but I certainly had my fair share of people saying totally the wrong things.

    For whatever reason these people had, it was certainly painful for me and my dad to hear it and totally uncalled for. I think it is common sense and obvious decency not to say such things to grieving relatives of the deceased. We are already in shock, deeling with our grief, why would you only think about how you feel and negate how we feel. But that is the real world for you and you get all manner of people in varying levels of selfishness and we have to just deal with people as they come.

  38. Lin Mun on Jan 31, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    This is a good article and guide for us when we are faced with such situation. Sometimes not saying is better than saying wrong and hurtful things to others. We can offer practical and exact help instead of a general statement. When a person experiencing sad state, he/she could not even have a clear mind to ask the help they need. Hence, understanding and supports from friends and close one are very important.

    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this article.

  39. Soon Huat on Jan 31, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Thank You Rinpoche for sharing this valuable tips to us. My father has passed away in acute heart attack. He left us without a word. I was hiding myself out in a corner in my father funeral and wish everyone could leave me alone so that I could stay more time with my father and chat Amitabha mantra to him. I think I would feel more relief if there were somebody with me to provide silent support to me.
    However, when I think back, I wish I would have chance to bring him to Rinpoche when he was still alive so that he can pick up Dharma and practice Dharma to collect more merits for his next life. I really I wish I could do for him so if I can travel back to past. I always think that since my body is given by him, hence, if I practice Dharma well maybe he could benefit from it in next life. That is all I can give to him now. I wish my dad well in next life. Thank You Rinpoche for guiding me all the while.

  40. Sharon Ong on Jan 31, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    This could not have been any timelier as we just lost a dear uncle yesterday. When I was younger, I was guilty of keeping quiet for fear of upsetting or offending the grieving party. With this write-up, I will try the tips offered instead of just hugging the grieving party and saying,”Let me know if I can do anything.” I also realised that with such immense grief, one would not know how to ask for another person to help as the sheer intensity of one’s grief often shuts down the ability to function as one would normally do. Hence, why offering to help out with specific tasks is a practical and useful way to help.

    Thank you for posting this, Rinpoche and blog team. Most definitely very helpful.

  41. Stella Cheang on Jan 31, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche for this sharing. Many of us who grew up in the traditional oriental culture are often at a loss for words and gestures when it comes to showing sympathy and empathy, especially towards people who suffered great pain due to deceased of a dear one. I have learned it through my own experience that saying something, in spite not saying the perfect words, is better than not saying anything at all. A simple gesture or words of consolation could be exactly the all that the person need to carry on for the next moment. Being a good listener is definitely the best thing to offer because, for the person who is suffering, his/her only outlet and relief is speaking the pain out. I think it is better to let the person speaks out rather than internalizes the pain that no one else can understand nor feel.

  42. Sofi on Jan 31, 2017 at 11:33 am

    Everyone will go through this experience of knowing someone who had faced loss or tremendous stress. Often times we feel at lost as to how we are able to best offer our help or comfort, especially someone we may not know as well but empathise their situation. At least now I learn some tips on how to respond correctly instead of making the other person feel worse. Previously I would have shared my own experience thinking that it may help a little but now learnt that it actually detracts the attention from the person’s sufferings. I do agree that we should not keep quiet as the other person may think we do not care enough or worse, that he/she may feel he/she is at fault or alone. Speaking out or doing something is putting our thoughts into action of caring. Thank you for sharing this helpful and applicable article Rinpoche.

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  • sarassitham
    Saturday, Dec 5. 2020 12:02 AM
    Thank you for the sharing this wonderful article. This has opened my eyes to the beauty and significance of Buddha’s statues carved out from a huge living rock directly into the rock face, such as amazing craftsmanship and architecture. This is also a good way of understanding the reverence that the Sri Lankans have towards Lord Buddha and his teachings.

    This world heritage site, are well preserved and maintained and contains a number of historic remains. Looking through those beautiful pictures in this article is a blessing, hoping one day I could able to visit these beautiful holy place in Sri Lanka.
  • sarassitham
    Thursday, Dec 3. 2020 11:32 PM
    Thanks you for the interesting article sharing. Actually I don’t really enjoy historical topic but I got impressed with this article of Lost City of Kota Gelanggi. I never knew there are hidden secret place in our country earth.

    The lost city of Kota Gelanggi is extremely important ancient archaeological site located in the deep, dense tropical jungle of Johor. It is speculated to be the first capital of the ancient Empire of Srivijaya and is one of the oldest Kingdoms in South East Asia.

    What puzzled me was, this Kota Gelanggi structure are similar to Angkor Wat, but the lost city is much older. Hopefully the search for this lost city continues and the truth should be reveal for the generation to come. Thank you for good history and a mystery discovery.

    https://bit.ly/2VAZ0W8
  • sarassitham
    Tuesday, Dec 1. 2020 10:43 PM
    As long as people have been around looking at the sky trying to understand what they are seeing and understand something strange, something unknown to anyone, and it’s such a powerful thing to discover.

    UFOs has been the topic of some serious mainstream media coverage after the disappearance of Malaysia Flight MH370. This was the biggest and most expensive search ever done in the history of aircraft with no good explanation and no evidence of any wreckage! As the mystery deepens it has become the number one news story that media around the world has been reporting, there may be a UFO abduction connection.

    https://bit.ly/2VjRW0e
  • sarassitham
    Monday, Nov 30. 2020 10:33 PM
    Very Inspire article of an artist, Art have been more than a hobby to the Princess of Polka Dots, Yayoi Kusama. It was her burning passion that lighted the fire in her soul. With so much of struggle since young, and her positive attitude empowered and engaged her to learn the skill professionally. Her creativity contribution was well received and benefited many all over the world.

    As for Yayoi Kusama art was a great escape, a way to be free of the troubles, worries, and horrors in life. Thank you for this valuable teaching and for the fantastic compilation of info and photos. Well., I am fascinated on polka dots art especially on clothing.

    https://bit.ly/3mqNcla

  • Samfoonheei
    Saturday, Nov 28. 2020 02:00 PM
    Celebrities like Pink , Chrissie Hynde , Sir Paul McCartney, Benji Madden naming a few who had use their fame for good cause. These celebrities truly are using their impactful voices to influence millions to do good, voicing opinions on matters such as fighting against illegal fishing, created viral memes to educate people about climate change, speaking out for women’s rights , eating healthy foods and to be a vegetarian for good to save animals been slaughter and so on. These celebrities have tremendous influence, acting as role models to many young people so as adults, even with their busy schedule. They has been influential in supporting its mission of saving animals been slaughter for human consumption across the globe. Great and truly inspiring.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/cause-celebre-celebrities-with-a-cause.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Saturday, Nov 28. 2020 01:57 PM
    Looking at the pictures tells us more….sad and heart-felt seeing those innocent kittens is shot dead by someone who is so cruel. How can whoever who did it so senseless . What goes around will comes around. The mother cat kept licking the kittens, from the picture ,heart broken seeing all her love ones dead. Could not imagine that situation, sad that one of the kitten had the chest cut open and heart exposed with the neck tied with a rope. The other three kittens were already been shot yet their heads were stepped on. Horrible death those poor kittens, may these kitten have a good rebirth.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/guess-why-the-tragic-cries.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Saturday, Nov 28. 2020 01:55 PM
    Reading this blog and feeling sad . Soolam a Golden Retriever, who was a service dog specifically trained to perform work and assist the writer since as a small furry. Soolam was one loyal companion and dear friend indeed to the writer. To euthanize a furry friend is hard felt for the writer as the Golden Retriever could not stand or walk, and even eat. Whatever he eats will throw out. Looking at the pictures the heartfelt writer hold on spending a precious moments with his doggie before he was euthanized. Soolam was a celebrity featuring in scores of times in newspapers, TV and radio. He even appeared as the main star of a special video about service dogs. The writer brought him everywhere he goes for meetings , travelling long distance and so forth over the decades. Well…. he finally laid to rest with his friend. The writer later found Zhar a new friend during a very strange coincidence.
    A beautiful story indeed , with a happy ending.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/have-you-had-a-friend-like-this.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Friday, Nov 27. 2020 02:09 PM
    From lush rainforest to deserts, frogs are found in every environment on earth. There are many different species as well and colourful too. Unfortunately, an equally-horrific new fad has recently popped up in China, where millions of frogs are being coloured with industrial dyes. Those dyes contains a very high doses of chemical which is harmful to the frogs. They seem to be a popular trend in China and are in high demand at aquariums and ponds , some been keeping it as pets. Everywhere at wet market in China, the dyed frogs are being sold. The effect of injections of chemicals into the frog would be horribly injured or killed the frog. Recording to research the dyes being used on the frogs are dangerous and harmful to human as well.
    May all sales of these coloured frogs must be banned. Its more or less abusing animals in such a way frogs were treated as objects and not living creatures in need of care. In no time all these frogs will go extinction .
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/coloured-frogs.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Friday, Nov 27. 2020 02:08 PM
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing these meaningful and heartfelt pictures of those horses. Yes looking at those pictures indeed paint a thousand words. It is truly sad seeing that poor horse Jerry had to suffer. Making horses pull oversized loads like carriages is indeed cruel. They are forced to toil in all weather extremes, heavy traffic all day long. Well they might suffer in silence debilitating leg problems in long term as they have to walk on hard surfaces. Horses would definitely love to be free living on green fields where it’s a better environment for them. They could run freely as they wish. In many cities, horse-drawn carriages are seen as tourist attractions. Even though horse-drawn carriages have been in use for thousands of years , I do hope more countries will ban horse drawn carriages. Recent years many cities around the world are banning horse-drawn carriages. Great news as horse are not mend for hard surfaces, in heavy traffic and so forth.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/9-special-photos.html
  • S.Prathap
    Friday, Nov 27. 2020 01:49 PM
    There’s nothing in this world like the unconditional happiness our 4-legged buddies give us humans. And, just like our 5 fingers, each of them are gifted with their own personality and unique qualities.

    We should have a first hand knowledge before adopting one. Dog behaviour can be puzzling to both new and experienced dog owners.Thank you very much for the informative article.


    https://bit.ly/33l4Qzo
  • sarassitham
    Friday, Nov 27. 2020 01:10 AM
    Thank you for the beautiful and historical sharing of Baba Nyonya community in Malaysia. As we know this group is small and their journey begins first at Malacca, then continued to Penang, Singapore, and Indonesia.

    The intermarriage between Chinese and Malay except formed a unique lifestyle and also created out a new culture, customs, festivals, tradition foods clothing, design and entertainment.

    May this rich culture and colourful tradition be preserved and practiced by the younger generation, and do hope this special heritage will live everlasting with us.

    https://bit.ly/3lbHmCK
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Nov 26. 2020 02:28 PM
    Every where there is spirits or unseen beings . Even old tress do have spirits too. Heard of it those days but for one to see it daily is scary. I am sure Rinpoche’s mother had goose bumps seeing the old man spirit. Luckily not a harmful spirit. Tree spirit is a nature deity related to a tree and are present in many cultures. As many of us do believed that if we cut down a tree with a spirit dwelling in it, is not so good. We are disturbing them. To avoid any misfortune we have prayers to appease the tree spirits, asking their permission to do so…..clearing obstacles or any ugly incident happenings.
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this .

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/the-tree.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Nov 26. 2020 02:26 PM
    nspiring video of a Portuguese boy with strong imprints. His dinner plate was served with rice, potatoes and octopus tentacles. After some questioning he told his mother that animals are not supposed to be eaten, but to be taken care of. This surprised his mother as her young son understands about the killings of animals. He don’t want to hurt animals , he knew the pain and sufferings of animals been killed . That’s wonderful , it’s a good beginning for a young boy to have compassion for animals at such a young age.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/portuguese-4-yo-boy-doesnt-want-to-eat-meat.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Nov 26. 2020 02:22 PM
    Reincarnation is the religious or philosophical belief that the soul after biological death, begins a new life in a new body that may be human, animal or spiritual depending on the moral quality of the previous life’s karma. Psychiatrist Ian Stevenson has investigated many reports of young children who claimed to remember a past life. Interesting findings. The belief in reincarnation is held by adherents of almost all major religions. Hence life after death and the possibility of reincarnation do happen. What happens to us when we die? Well this is an old question for which religions have provided answers with faith. One of the mysteries puzzling human mind since the origin of mankind is the concept of “reincarnation”. I do believe in reincarnation and have come across friends who remembered their past lives. Recently I met an Indian Sikh lady who’s past life was a Buddhist. Beautiful stories from her too.
    Interesting read of this blog tells us more.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/ancient-mysteries-reincarnation.html
  • sarassitham
    Wednesday, Nov 25. 2020 03:58 PM
    Thank you for the article and video sharing. It’s sad to see the reality of live of some people in the world has to go through so much suffering at younger age to survive.

    The early involvement of child labour is caused by their parents due the families economic hardship, parents need their help to perform their work or replacements when they are sick or old. Unfortunately the brick kiln management taking opportunity to misuse the labour by performing multiple task and treating them as slave.

    I do greatly appreciate the rightful action will be taken to prevent and to provide the new guidelines against the brick kiln owners who have tried to exploit workers.

    https://bit.ly/2UZha3N

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Concept: Tsem Rinpoche
Technical: Lew Kwan Leng, Justin Ripley, Yong Swee Keong
Design: Justin Ripley, Cynthia Lee
Content: Tsem Rinpoche, Justin Ripley, Pastor Shin Tan, Sarah Yap
Admin: Pastor Loh Seng Piow, Beng Kooi

I must thank my dharma blog team who are great assets to me, Kechara and growth of dharma in this wonderful region. I am honoured and thrilled to work with them. I really am. Maybe I don't say it enough to them, but I am saying it now. I APPRECIATE THESE GUYS VERY MUCH!

Tsem Rinpoche

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The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

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According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn\'t this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
10 months ago
According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn't this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden\'s blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
10 months ago
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden's blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
10 months ago
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat\'s doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
11 months ago
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat's doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
11 months ago
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
11 months ago
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
11 months ago
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
It\'s very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it\'s very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
11 months ago
It's very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it's very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
11 months ago
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
11 months ago
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
1 year ago
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
1 year ago
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
1 year ago
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
1 year ago
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
1 year ago
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
1 year ago
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
1 year ago
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
1 year ago
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat\'s land here in Malaysia
1 year ago
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat's land here in Malaysia
Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
1 year ago
Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
Thailand’s ‘Renegade’ Yet Powerful Buddhist Nuns~ https://bit.ly/2Z1C02m
1 year ago
Thailand’s ‘Renegade’ Yet Powerful Buddhist Nuns~ https://bit.ly/2Z1C02m
Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
1 year ago
Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
2 yearss ago
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
Sacred Vajra Yogini
2 yearss ago
Sacred Vajra Yogini
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
2 yearss ago
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
2 yearss ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha\'s mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
2 yearss ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha's mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha\'s. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
2 yearss ago
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha's. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
2 yearss ago
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
2 yearss ago
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
This is pretty amazing!

First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
2 yearss ago
This is pretty amazing! First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche

Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
2 yearss ago
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can\'t stop thinking of you and I can\'t forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
2 yearss ago
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can't stop thinking of you and I can't forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
2 yearss ago
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
2 yearss ago
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
2 yearss ago
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
2 yearss ago
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
2 yearss ago
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
2 yearss ago
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
2 yearss ago
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
2 yearss ago
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
DON\'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
2 yearss ago
DON'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
2 yearss ago
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
2 yearss ago
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
2 yearss ago
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
2 yearss ago
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
2 yearss ago
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
2 yearss ago
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
Click on "View All Photos" above to view more images

Videos On The Go

Please click on the images to watch video
  • Pig puts his toys away
    11 months ago
    Pig puts his toys away
    Animals are so intelligent. They can feel happiness, joy, pain, sorrow, just like humans. Always show kindness to them. Always show kindness to everyone.
  • Always be kind to animals-They deserve to live just like us.
    1 years ago
    Always be kind to animals-They deserve to live just like us.
    Whales and dolphins playing with each other in the Pacific sea. Nature is truly incredible!
  • Bodha stupa July 2019-
    1 years ago
    Bodha stupa July 2019-
    Rainy period
  • Cute Tara girl having a snack. She is one of Kechara Forest Retreat’s resident doggies.
    1 years ago
    Cute Tara girl having a snack. She is one of Kechara Forest Retreat’s resident doggies.
  • Your Next Meal!
    1 years ago
    Your Next Meal!
    Yummy? Tasty? Behind the scenes of the meat on your plates. Meat is a killing industry.
  • This is Daw
    1 years ago
    This is Daw
    This is what they do to get meat on tables, and to produce belts and jackets. Think twice before your next purchase.
  • Don’t Take My Mummy Away!
    1 years ago
    Don’t Take My Mummy Away!
    Look at the poor baby chasing after the mother. Why do we do that to them? It's time to seriously think about our choices in life and how they affect others. Be kind. Don't break up families.
  • They do this every day!
    1 years ago
    They do this every day!
    This is how they are being treated every day of their lives. Please do something to stop the brutality. Listen to their cries for help!
  • What happened at Fair Oaks Farm?
    1 years ago
    What happened at Fair Oaks Farm?
    The largest undercover dairy investigation of all time. See what they found out at Fair Oaks Farm.
  • She’s going to spend her whole life here without being able to move correctly. Like a machine. They are the slaves of the people and are viewed as a product. It’s immoral. Billions of terrestrial animals die annually. Billions. You can’t even imagine it. And all that because people don’t want to give up meat, even though there are so many alternatives. ~ Gabriel Azimov
    2 yearss ago
    She’s going to spend her whole life here without being able to move correctly. Like a machine. They are the slaves of the people and are viewed as a product. It’s immoral. Billions of terrestrial animals die annually. Billions. You can’t even imagine it. And all that because people don’t want to give up meat, even though there are so many alternatives. ~ Gabriel Azimov
  • Our Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir speaks so well, logically and regarding our country’s collaboration with China for growth. It is refreshing to listen to Dr. Mahathir’s thoughts. He said our country can look to China for many more things such as technology and so on. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
    Our Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir speaks so well, logically and regarding our country’s collaboration with China for growth. It is refreshing to listen to Dr. Mahathir’s thoughts. He said our country can look to China for many more things such as technology and so on. Tsem Rinpoche
  • This is the first time His Holiness Dalai Lama mentions he had some very serious illness. Very worrying. This video is captured April 2019.
    2 yearss ago
    This is the first time His Holiness Dalai Lama mentions he had some very serious illness. Very worrying. This video is captured April 2019.
  • Beautiful Monastery in Hong Kong
    2 yearss ago
    Beautiful Monastery in Hong Kong
  • This dog thanks his hero in such a touching way. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
    This dog thanks his hero in such a touching way. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Join Tsem Rinpoche in prayer for H.H. Dalai Lama’s long life~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYy7JcveikU&feature=youtu.be
    2 yearss ago
    Join Tsem Rinpoche in prayer for H.H. Dalai Lama’s long life~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYy7JcveikU&feature=youtu.be
  • These people going on pilgrimage to a holy mountain and prostrating out of devotion and for pilgrimage in Tibet. Such determination for spiritual practice. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
    These people going on pilgrimage to a holy mountain and prostrating out of devotion and for pilgrimage in Tibet. Such determination for spiritual practice. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Beautiful new casing in Kechara for Vajra Yogini. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
    Beautiful new casing in Kechara for Vajra Yogini. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Get ready to laugh real hard. This is Kechara’s version of “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane!” We have some real talents in this video clip.
    2 yearss ago
    Get ready to laugh real hard. This is Kechara’s version of “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane!” We have some real talents in this video clip.
  • Recitation of Dorje Dermo‘s mantra or the Dharani of Glorious Vajra Claws. This powerful mantra is meant to destroy all obstacles that come in our way. Beneficial to play this mantra in our environments.
    2 yearss ago
    Recitation of Dorje Dermo‘s mantra or the Dharani of Glorious Vajra Claws. This powerful mantra is meant to destroy all obstacles that come in our way. Beneficial to play this mantra in our environments.
  • Beautiful
    2 yearss ago
    Beautiful
    Beautiful sacred Severed Head Vajra Yogini from Tsem Rinpoche's personal shrine.
  • My little monster cute babies Dharma and Oser. Take a look and get a cute attack for the day! Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
    My little monster cute babies Dharma and Oser. Take a look and get a cute attack for the day! Tsem Rinpoche
  • Plse watch this short video and see how all sentient beings are capable of tenderness and love. We should never hurt animals nor should we eat them. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
    Plse watch this short video and see how all sentient beings are capable of tenderness and love. We should never hurt animals nor should we eat them. Tsem Rinpoche
  • Cruelty of some people have no limits and it’s heartbreaking. Being kind cost nothing. Tsem Rinpoche
    2 yearss ago
    Cruelty of some people have no limits and it’s heartbreaking. Being kind cost nothing. Tsem Rinpoche
  • SUPER ADORABLE and must see
    2 yearss ago
    SUPER ADORABLE and must see
    Tsem Rinpoche's dog Oser girl enjoying her snack in her play pen.
  • Cute!
    2 yearss ago
    Cute!
    Oser girl loves the balcony so much. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTcoWpKJm2c
  • Uncle Wong
    2 yearss ago
    Uncle Wong
    We were told by Uncle Wong he is very faithful toward Dorje Shugden. Dorje Shugden has extended help to him on several occasions and now Uncle Wong comes daily to make incense offerings to Dorje Shugden. He is grateful towards the help he was given.
  • Tsem Rinpoche’s Schnauzer Dharma boy fights Robot sphere from Arkonide!
    2 yearss ago
    Tsem Rinpoche’s Schnauzer Dharma boy fights Robot sphere from Arkonide!
  • Cute baby owl found and rescued
    2 yearss ago
    Cute baby owl found and rescued
    We rescued a lost baby owl in Kechara Forest Retreat.
  • Nice cups from Kechara!!
    2 yearss ago
    Nice cups from Kechara!!
    Dorje Shugden people's lives matter!
  • Enjoy a peaceful morning at Kechara Forest Retreat
    2 yearss ago
    Enjoy a peaceful morning at Kechara Forest Retreat
    Chirping birds and other forest animals create a joyful melody at the Vajrayogini stupa in Kechara Forest Retreat (Bentong, Malaysia).
  • This topic is so hot in many circles right now.
    3 yearss ago
    This topic is so hot in many circles right now.
    This video is thought-provoking and very interesting. Watch! Thanks so much to our friends at LIVEKINDLY.
  • Chiropractic CHANGES LIFE for teenager with acute PAIN & DEAD LEG.
    3 yearss ago
    Chiropractic CHANGES LIFE for teenager with acute PAIN & DEAD LEG.
  • BEAUTIFUL PLACE IN NEW YORK STATE-AMAZING.
    3 yearss ago
    BEAUTIFUL PLACE IN NEW YORK STATE-AMAZING.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio takes on the meat Industry with real action.
    3 yearss ago
    Leonardo DiCaprio takes on the meat Industry with real action.
  • Do psychic mediums have messages from beyond?
    3 yearss ago
    Do psychic mediums have messages from beyond?
  • Lovely gift for my 52nd Birthday. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 yearss ago
    Lovely gift for my 52nd Birthday. Tsem Rinpoche
  • This 59-year-old chimpanzee was refusing food and ready to die until...
    3 yearss ago
    This 59-year-old chimpanzee was refusing food and ready to die until...
    she received “one last visit from an old friend” 💔💔
  • Bigfoot sighted again and made it to the news.
    3 yearss ago
    Bigfoot sighted again and made it to the news.
  • Casper is such a cute and adorable. I like him.
    3 yearss ago
    Casper is such a cute and adorable. I like him.
  • Dorje Shugden Monastery Amarbayasgalant  Mongolia's Ancient Hidden Gem
    3 yearss ago
    Dorje Shugden Monastery Amarbayasgalant Mongolia's Ancient Hidden Gem
  • Don't you love Hamburgers? See how 'delicious' it is here!
    3 yearss ago
    Don't you love Hamburgers? See how 'delicious' it is here!
  • Such a beautiful and powerful message from a person who knows the meaning of life. Tsem Rinpoche
    3 yearss ago
    Such a beautiful and powerful message from a person who knows the meaning of life. Tsem Rinpoche
  • What the meat industry figured out is that you don't need healthy animals to make a profit.
    3 yearss ago
    What the meat industry figured out is that you don't need healthy animals to make a profit.
    Sick animals are more profitable... farms calculate how close to death they can keep animals without killing them. That's the business model. How quickly they can be made to grow, how tightly they can be packed, how much or how little can they eat, how sick they can get without dying... We live in a world in which it's conventional to treat an animal like a block of wood. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer
  • This video went viral and it's a must watch!!
    3 yearss ago
    This video went viral and it's a must watch!!
  • SEE HOW THIS ANIMAL SERIAL KILLER HAS NO ISSUE BLUDGEONING THIS DEFENSELESS BEING.
    3 yearss ago
    SEE HOW THIS ANIMAL SERIAL KILLER HAS NO ISSUE BLUDGEONING THIS DEFENSELESS BEING.
    This happens daily in slaughterhouse so you can get your pork and Bak ku teh. Stop eating meat.

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CHAT PICTURES

Thanks to Yap Optometry for gifting Robert a new pair of glasses to see better. We wish him many clear and bright days ahead. Thank you to all sponsors. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
2 weeks ago
Thanks to Yap Optometry for gifting Robert a new pair of glasses to see better. We wish him many clear and bright days ahead. Thank you to all sponsors. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Donation received to date: RM33,468.00 Yes! We've achieved the target for the #TamanNegara project. Fundraising is closed for this project. Thank you to all donors, 113 Orang Asli families will benefit from it. Stay tuned! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
2 weeks ago
Donation received to date: RM33,468.00 Yes! We've achieved the target for the #TamanNegara project. Fundraising is closed for this project. Thank you to all donors, 113 Orang Asli families will benefit from it. Stay tuned! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
FRESHLY BAKED by Kechara Empowerment trainees - Chocolate Chip Butter Cookies - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
2 weeks ago
FRESHLY BAKED by Kechara Empowerment trainees - Chocolate Chip Butter Cookies - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
In memory of Wilson Lee, one of our most dedicated volunteers in Penang. Our heartfelt condolences to Wilson's wife, Tze Ling, family and friends. Our thoughts are with them for their loss. Thank you for your kindness and service to KSK Penang. From all of us in KSK.
2 weeks ago
In memory of Wilson Lee, one of our most dedicated volunteers in Penang. Our heartfelt condolences to Wilson's wife, Tze Ling, family and friends. Our thoughts are with them for their loss. Thank you for your kindness and service to KSK Penang. From all of us in KSK.
Last weekend a Soup Kitchen activities @ Penang, Johor & Kuala Lumpur. Hot food, water, masks, biscuits, buns & fruits. This is what we give out to our friends living on the streets. Thank you to our sponsor & volunteers that make it happen. Come spread more love by being a volunteer at our activities. WhatsApp us today at 010-333-3260! See you soon! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
2 months ago
Last weekend a Soup Kitchen activities @ Penang, Johor & Kuala Lumpur. Hot food, water, masks, biscuits, buns & fruits. This is what we give out to our friends living on the streets. Thank you to our sponsor & volunteers that make it happen. Come spread more love by being a volunteer at our activities. WhatsApp us today at 010-333-3260! See you soon! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Fwd: Dear Sotha
2 months ago
Fwd: Dear Sotha
Kechara Earth Project 13/9/2020
3 months ago
Kechara Earth Project 13/9/2020
Thank you Domino's Pizza Malaysia, Kasih & Piza campaign for sponsoring 85 boxes of pizza to our friends who live on the streets. Your flavourful pizzas have put a smile on their faces. Thank you! - Vivan @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #KasihdanPiza #ItsAllAboutYou
3 months ago
Thank you Domino's Pizza Malaysia, Kasih & Piza campaign for sponsoring 85 boxes of pizza to our friends who live on the streets. Your flavourful pizzas have put a smile on their faces. Thank you! - Vivan @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #KasihdanPiza #ItsAllAboutYou
Thank you Novo Nordisk! Your kind monetary donation and 1,320 boxes of masks will benefit many needy families under the Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families  ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #novonordisk #novonordiskmalaysia
3 months ago
Thank you Novo Nordisk! Your kind monetary donation and 1,320 boxes of masks will benefit many needy families under the Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #novonordisk #novonordiskmalaysia
We were graced with the presence of Tengku Zatashah & The Alice Smith School Foundation yesterday. 130 homeless were blessed to be served by them. RM 20,000 donated by Alice Smith School Foundation will benefit 100 families registered under Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #alicesmithschoolfoundation #alicesmithschool #volunteerism #homeless
3 months ago
We were graced with the presence of Tengku Zatashah & The Alice Smith School Foundation yesterday. 130 homeless were blessed to be served by them. RM 20,000 donated by Alice Smith School Foundation will benefit 100 families registered under Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #alicesmithschoolfoundation #alicesmithschool #volunteerism #homeless
Thanks to the effort of our outstation team, we were able to mobilise food provisions to 600 families living in Kelantan, Penang, Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Johor during the Raya period with each of these families receiving RM200 worth of provisions. Adding onto the current 368 families in Klang Valley, a total of 968 families were benefitted from this. Special thanks to the sponsors who have contributed especially Hong Leong Foundation and partially from Tesco Malaysia (where we also ordered the provisions from). ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
5 months ago
Thanks to the effort of our outstation team, we were able to mobilise food provisions to 600 families living in Kelantan, Penang, Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Johor during the Raya period with each of these families receiving RM200 worth of provisions. Adding onto the current 368 families in Klang Valley, a total of 968 families were benefitted from this. Special thanks to the sponsors who have contributed especially Hong Leong Foundation and partially from Tesco Malaysia (where we also ordered the provisions from). ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
So glad that our soup kitchen operations are back in full swing. Good to see the clients are observing the SOPs. Some of them lost their job during MCO and ended up on the streets. Special thanks to our sponsors and volunteers for the great support! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
6 months ago
So glad that our soup kitchen operations are back in full swing. Good to see the clients are observing the SOPs. Some of them lost their job during MCO and ended up on the streets. Special thanks to our sponsors and volunteers for the great support! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
From serving cooked food to the homeless clients on the streets to mobilising provisions to the needy individuals in PPRs and shelters, we thank everyone of our Johor Bahru team for their kind contributions and effort to make it for the needy despite all the challenges! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
6 months ago
From serving cooked food to the homeless clients on the streets to mobilising provisions to the needy individuals in PPRs and shelters, we thank everyone of our Johor Bahru team for their kind contributions and effort to make it for the needy despite all the challenges! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
More photos taken from our "Hari Raya Hampers" distribution this week. Making sure everyone of our clients have something to be cheerful about. Apart from food, daily used items such as hygiene products, kitchen utensils, assorted fabric items, stationary items and toys were also included into our hamper bags making it extra heavier this month! Food items alone were about 35kg per family! Taking this opportunity to wish everyone of our Muslim volunteers, friends, supporters and clients a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. No doubt this year's celebration will be very different but appreciate everyone is safe and protected from the pandemic. We are in this together and let's work to fight this pandemic together! Thanking all sponsors and donors for the generous support enabling us to continue serve the needy with food, love and care. Big shoutout too to our wonderful team which already depleted by our very own strict SOP. All of you who worked tirelessly behind the s
6 months ago
More photos taken from our "Hari Raya Hampers" distribution this week. Making sure everyone of our clients have something to be cheerful about. Apart from food, daily used items such as hygiene products, kitchen utensils, assorted fabric items, stationary items and toys were also included into our hamper bags making it extra heavier this month! Food items alone were about 35kg per family! Taking this opportunity to wish everyone of our Muslim volunteers, friends, supporters and clients a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. No doubt this year's celebration will be very different but appreciate everyone is safe and protected from the pandemic. We are in this together and let's work to fight this pandemic together! Thanking all sponsors and donors for the generous support enabling us to continue serve the needy with food, love and care. Big shoutout too to our wonderful team which already depleted by our very own strict SOP. All of you who worked tirelessly behind the s
Our team have been working extra hours for the past few weeks to deliver provisions and hamper goodies to the needy families before Hari Raya! Heart warming to see the smiling faces of our recipients upon receiving 3 bags full of food and daily used items. Thanks to everyone of you who have contributed to our foodbank enabling us to give all our recipients (especially those celebrating) a Raya to remember! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
6 months ago
Our team have been working extra hours for the past few weeks to deliver provisions and hamper goodies to the needy families before Hari Raya! Heart warming to see the smiling faces of our recipients upon receiving 3 bags full of food and daily used items. Thanks to everyone of you who have contributed to our foodbank enabling us to give all our recipients (especially those celebrating) a Raya to remember! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Thankful to all donors and those who have been committed in contributing not just money but time over the past testing weeks to help us ease the work of our frontliners and also the livelihood of the needy, their struggles over this pandemic period seemed a little easier to bear with because of your contributions! - Vivian @Kechara Soup Kitchen
6 months ago
Thankful to all donors and those who have been committed in contributing not just money but time over the past testing weeks to help us ease the work of our frontliners and also the livelihood of the needy, their struggles over this pandemic period seemed a little easier to bear with because of your contributions! - Vivian @Kechara Soup Kitchen
KSDS Level 2 virtual class, Lin Mun KSDS
7 months ago
KSDS Level 2 virtual class, Lin Mun KSDS
KSDS Level 3 virtual class. Lin Mun KSDS
7 months ago
KSDS Level 3 virtual class. Lin Mun KSDS
Wesak 2020
7 months ago
Wesak 2020
Recycle today for a better tomorrow. KEP-Serena
9 months ago
Recycle today for a better tomorrow. KEP-Serena
Today we are having recycling at Kechara Soup Kitchen. Do drop by here if you would like to get ride of the recyclable items from home. KEP - Serena
9 months ago
Today we are having recycling at Kechara Soup Kitchen. Do drop by here if you would like to get ride of the recyclable items from home. KEP - Serena
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Seen here is Bam, Vajrayogini’s seed syllable and also Kechara's logo. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Seen here is Bam, Vajrayogini’s seed syllable and also Kechara's logo. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: More melted butter was offered. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: More melted butter was offered. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
H.E. Zawa Rinpoche in deep concentration. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
H.E. Zawa Rinpoche in deep concentration. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Geshela is seen here wearing ceremonial hat called tsoksha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Geshela is seen here wearing ceremonial hat called tsoksha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
The Shize Fire Puja was performed according to scriptural sources. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
The Shize Fire Puja was performed according to scriptural sources. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
To find out more about the substances offered during jinsek/fire puja, have a read here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
To find out more about the substances offered during jinsek/fire puja, have a read here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
More about the symbolism of the offering items here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
More about the symbolism of the offering items here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Amongst all pujas, the fire puja is considered the king of all Pujas. It is the most powerful of all pujas within Tibetan Buddhism and its purpose is basically to remove all obstacles and its stains to enlightenment.
9 months ago
Amongst all pujas, the fire puja is considered the king of all Pujas. It is the most powerful of all pujas within Tibetan Buddhism and its purpose is basically to remove all obstacles and its stains to enlightenment.
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Graceful hand mudras were also part of the ritual. - shared Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Graceful hand mudras were also part of the ritual. - shared Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: One by one the offering substances were offered accompanied by traditional Tibetan recitations. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: One by one the offering substances were offered accompanied by traditional Tibetan recitations. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: JP Thong ensuring that Geshela's ritual items are within easy reach. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: JP Thong ensuring that Geshela's ritual items are within easy reach. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor David Lai & Frederick Law were also on hand to assist with the puja ritual substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor David Lai & Frederick Law were also on hand to assist with the puja ritual substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor Niral Patel assisting H.E. Zawa Rinpoche during the puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor Niral Patel assisting H.E. Zawa Rinpoche during the puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Peaceful fire pujas are excellent to remove inauspiciousness, problems that might be coming to our lifespan, wisdom, wealth, growth of Dharma. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Peaceful fire pujas are excellent to remove inauspiciousness, problems that might be coming to our lifespan, wisdom, wealth, growth of Dharma. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Over 100 Kecharians & their loved ones spent the Sunday evening immersed in this obstacle pacifying puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Over 100 Kecharians & their loved ones spent the Sunday evening immersed in this obstacle pacifying puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Dakpa and Geshe Janchup Gyaltsen Lama inspecting the offering substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Dakpa and Geshe Janchup Gyaltsen Lama inspecting the offering substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Rinpoche & Geshe Janchup making last minute checks before the commencement of the Jinsek or Fire Puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Rinpoche & Geshe Janchup making last minute checks before the commencement of the Jinsek or Fire Puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The arrival of the Sangha conducting this sacred puja accompanied by Changtso Beng Kooi and Pastor Niral Patel - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The arrival of the Sangha conducting this sacred puja accompanied by Changtso Beng Kooi and Pastor Niral Patel - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The site of the Peaceful Fire Puja the calls upon the pacifying energies of Shize Shugden. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
9 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The site of the Peaceful Fire Puja the calls upon the pacifying energies of Shize Shugden. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
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Dorje Shugden
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