When we live our lives in an unselfish manner, we have more happiness
By Wei Tan
What is happiness? Is it the feeling we get when we get to see or do something we like? Many of us would like to drive an expensive car, be with our friends and have fun, or be with the ones we love. Others would like to relax and go on holiday, read books, or play games all day everyday. With so many people in the world, we all have a variation of likes and dislikes, some of which are similar and dissimilar to each other. Two people might like another person but dislike each other… So when we finally get to experience our likes, does that bring us happiness? It might do, and if it does, it probably wouldn’t last as long as we wished it would. After it ends, what are we left with? The feeling of ‘it didn’t last long enough, I want more’ starts to rise. With habituation, this feeling gets stronger and stronger until it translates into an action which can be experienced on a physical level. The need or want to do something we like stems from our desires; otherwise we wouldn’t want to do those things in the first place. This can be seen around us all of the time. We don’t need special powers to be aware of this. All we need is to look carefully.
?thgir esnes sekam ti ,sdrawkcab ti daer uoy won tub ,emit tsrif eht esnes ekam t’ndid tI
It didn’t make sense the first time, but now you read it backwards, it makes sense right?
Does that last bit make sense to you? Maybe not the first time you read it… Does it have any meaning? Maybe… Although it’s not like I’m adding stuff here for fun… Something so small and insignificant, like this one line, can also be seen in different ways depending on who reads it. There are a few things in there that look reasonable, but in general, it looks like one big mess to us. Similarly, even when we experience something, whether it’s reading things or listening to people, observing people and their behaviours, it’s like that line. Weird and incomprehensible at first but after a closer look, it makes sense and it’s not so hard to read anymore. Our preferences towards everything are so small, insignificant and sometimes, when someone acts so strange and backwards to you, it doesn’t make sense. We can impute the preference of the person being okay in certain ways but overall we simply cannot understand them. If we do not initially understand them, we can be patient with them, get to know them and eventually come to understand them. On the other hand we can also write them off as weirdoes, be impatient and move on without trying to get to know them. So in that way, we can perceive people like that too. Just because they don’t make sense to you, doesn’t mean they don’t make sense to somebody else. We can be just as strange to other people as they are to us. Therefore we should practice equanimity since we are, well most of us, are all equal in that respect. See in some cases, it might be us who are not clever enough to understand the ‘weirdo’.
In this way we all perceive things differently, from a different angle and react to those things differently. This is brings life to our likes and dislikes. We try to repeat the things we like and try to put a stop to the things we dislike. Why? Well, on a very basic level, we all want the happiness we experience from the things we like and we don’t want to experience the unhappiness of something we dislike. However since our likes and dislikes are different, we also find happiness and unhappiness in different things. If I like the piano but somebody else dislikes the piano, is the piano a like or a dislike? Well it’s neither and both, simultaneously. It’s only a like or a dislike if there is something to impute that preference onto it. If there was nobody to like and dislike it, then it would be just be simply a piano. Then what if I like how the piano looks but not how it sounds? What if I don’t like the room it’s in? What if I don’t like the furniture around it? Then my opinion of the piano suddenly changes from a like to dislike because of these other cons that outweigh the pro. How can a simple piano sprout so many questions and preferences? Well, does it really? The piano didn’t tell me to like or dislike it. I projected my opinion onto an inanimate object that has no sentient life to it. Therefore aren’t I the source of the preference, not the piano?
What if we apply this to the people around us? Yeah we can say that ‘people are way more complicated than a musical instrument so our many preferences on people can be justified’. Or is that perhaps just an excuse to remain unchanged and be attached to our preferences which helps us feel comfortable and secure, that we have identify and can categorise people as well as objects? Fundamentally if I were the only sentient being ever to exist, would we be liked or disliked? Could I be liked or disliked? If I could, then I have no idea how… If not, then surely even we, as sentient beings, do not inherently exist as a source of a like or dislike? Doesn’t that make us just like an inanimate piano?
Well, not quite. Unlike the piano, sentient beings have the capacity to impute their preferences onto other things they have experienced but only at that. A man who is blind, deaf and dumb couldn’t tell you whether he liked or disliked the colour blue because he hasn’t experienced that. In the same way, I couldn’t truly tell you whether I liked or disliked going to a Michael Jackson concert because I’ve never been to one. I would just be giving an estimation based on my likes and dislikes of what I’ve seen and heard about him and I also couldn’t have named an artist I’ve never heard of before. Therefore if our perception allows us to like and dislike things and our likes and dislikes give rise to the feeling of ‘happiness’ and ‘unhappiness’, then how come when we experience the things we have been taught to like, such as money and relationships, we still suffer in the end?
For example, people in relationships with their boyfriend or girlfriend will often seem happy in front of us and depending on their relationship; they will ‘feel happy’ most of the time. They can go out together, spend time together, do things together, have fun together and that’s all good in the short term, but what happens long term? Behind the scenes, the thought of their relationship will plague their minds constantly. Without telling anyone, not even their partners, they may begin to question their situation, ‘Is my partner happy with me? Am I worthy of my partner? Am I doing enough? Could I do more?’… This may lead to even more insecurities, ‘What if they aren’t happy with me? Are they doing things behind my back? Do they really want to be with me? Is it all just an act?’… What if they are the ones who don’t want to be in the relationship? ‘How should I end it?’ ‘Will they hate me if I end it?’ ‘I wish something would just break us apart’. Even if they console themselves, are consoled by their friends or even their partner, the insecurities never stop. They end up stressing non-stop over the relationship. If the relationship does break apart, what next? Find another relationship and go through that process again? Keep going through it until they find ‘The One’ and live out the rest of their lives together?
However in the end, when they die, they don’t want to be apart from their lovers so they grasp onto their relationship so much, even until their last breath, they don’t want to leave or don’t want their partner to leave. If they are the ones being left behind, then what? Find another relationship? They might do if they were that desperate to be loved by somebody even after that… If not? What if they couldn’t recover from the trauma of losing somebody that close? If it happens when they are ‘young’? They might even think that if they had never been in that relationship in the first place, their partner would still be around. What if they had a child and their child was the one to pass away before them? That happens in real life too. Many loving parents can’t recover from that level of emotional trauma. Even if they somehow manage to reduce it, the wonderful and joyful memories of their child also trigger their loss as their child is no longer around. Those feelings of loss, sadness and melancholy will be relentlessly barraging their minds, even if they don’t want it to.
Is that the happiness we seek in relationships? Maybe… Maybe not… That’s what happens though. Things end. People pour everything they have into getting and maintaining relationships, something so impermanent even a child can comprehend. You don’t see 5 year olds looking for lovers. How about when we get older? Try blaming it on biology? Well you don’t see every human looking for lovers, so it can’t be something so unchangeable, that it’s etched into our genes. Besides, that would just imply that humans, as a species, lack the capacity for self-control. Although I guess it’s a necessary thing that people still make babies… otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this and we wouldn’t have any teachings. Having a baby and even the time leading up to having a baby just seems so physically and mentally taxing. Using time, money, energy, and in some cases, people betray themselves to please their partner. Is it really worth it? Everybody has their own opinions but I don’t think so. Yet, many people are so attached to the idea of getting into a relationship…
Similarly, a rich person can experience the joys of financial prosperity on a physical level. They can buy what they want without a care, they can buy people’s actions and they can invest in anything they want. They never need to worry whether they can eat hearty during their next meal. Looks like happiness has been found right? That is, until their ‘wants’ exceed their finances. At that point, they become ‘poor’. When they can no longer afford something they want, they become dissatisfied and irritated, in some cases, even depressed. Someone who has an appetite for everything in the world will be the one who is the hungriest. Why? They want so much yet can only get a fraction of what it is they want. Their stomachs are always empty. However someone content with what they have isn’t hungry as they don’t seek to gain more and more. Even when someone has a lot of money, they might not want to give it away, they want to keep it but yet the fear of being targeted for their money becomes a heavy burden. Whether it’s being robbed, cheated or used, when paranoia seeps in to these cracks of insecurity, it is not very pleasant. It is a very unsettling feeling to be unable to trust anybody because of our fears. In the same way, eating too much, being too full and being on the verge of throwing up is also not a very pleasant feeling. For me anyway, and I’ve never heard of any weirdoes who enjoy that sensation…
I’m not saying being ambitious is bad. It is only bad when we overestimate ourselves and refuse to acknowledge our limits. That kind of attitude leads to frustration and eventually anger. Until we decrease our desires or increase our limits, this anger of living an unfulfilled life will dig a deeper hole, making it much harder to get out of that mentality. On the other side of the coin, there are never a shortage charities and organisations that need donations in order to function and grow. Be generous, give not only in money, but also in time and effort, unconditionally. Why? We attract what we reflect. If we reflect the image of somebody unpleasant, then nobody will want to be around us for who we are since we are internally ugly, only what we have on the outside. Even through an ocean of money, if and when what we have runs out, those people will run off and hover around other people with that same image. Since money can buy people and their loyalty, it only lasts for as long as we have the money but since everything physical is impermanent… It won’t last. If that’s what you want, go ahead but you’ll just end up lonely and that will make you unhappy because it’s what you tried to avoid in the first place. To me, the only worthwhile wealth can only be achieved in a state of mind. All the physical riches in the universe will never be enough to satisfying someone who does not feel mentally wealthy.
Furthermore, it’s not the same type of people and loyalty we attract compared to when we reflect a pleasant image. When we are generous and we do virtuous actions, we make ourselves reflect a beautiful image that people around us wish they could become like. Sure there are some people who are really envious and work to ruin our image but they can only succeed if we let them affect our virtuous actions since it is our actions that reflect the image. In such a case there are no winners, only losers. The loyalty we gain from our virtuous actions is not from something physical, they don’t disappear in the absence of physical matter. Since the virtuous actions create the loyalty and we control our own actions, we are the source of the loyalty as long as we keep doing virtuous things, unlike when we have loyalty that sprouts from having lots of money. No matter what type of person we are, everybody wants to able to trust somebody. However, who we can trust is ultimately down to us. What image do you want to reflect to others? Would you rather be a vulture in a sea of bloody carcasses or a beautiful swan on a clear blue lake?
In conclusion, there is the type of ‘happiness’ that comes from feeding our own selfish wants and desires and there is the type of happiness that comes from being kind and compassionate to others. Selfish happiness is short term and always ends due to the impermanent nature of all physical things in the universe. Compassionate happiness is long term as we find happiness, not in physical gains but through spiritual gains. Spirituality and compassion can help us change our perspective. Then when our minds are so focused on helping others and we work for the sake of others everyday, nothing can stop us from doing our virtuous actions. It’ll be like bouncing on clouds with sunshine and rainbows. Otherwise life is like a never ending minefield that’s looking to blow you up every step of the way. Even if you survive one step, a few steps, time pushes you forward whether you like it or not. There’s no happiness in a minefield…
Please support us so that we can continue to bring you more Dharma:
If you are in the United States, please note that your offerings and contributions are tax deductible. ~ the tsemrinpoche.com blog team
Thank you Rinpoche and Wei Tan for this wonderful sharing . Happiness depends upon ourselves how we manage things out. It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness and seeing the happy faces of others. But when we expect too much it becomes an obstacle. Everyone chases after happiness, but few understand where it comes from. Well everything starts within ourselves, mind and in our heart. The only thing that will make us happy is being happy with who we are. To me happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude in helping others to be happy. Learning dharma has me change the way I think , it’s a choice .
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. — quoted Buddha
Very thought provoking article about ‘happiness’, what it means to various people and what it means if we hold on to one view against holding on to an equally opposite view. Different people feel happiness for different reasons. Doing good to benefit others and not harming the others is a beautiful feeling then. Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to be. Learning and practicing dharma is one beautiful choice. Thank you Rinpoche and Wei Tan for this wonderful explanation.???
Thank you Rinpoche and Wei Tan for this wonderful explanation and some knowledge for us. Everyone chases after happiness, but few understand where it comes from. Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe, or lucky, they feel happiness. Different people feel happiness for different reasons. Doing good to benefit others and not harming the others is a beautiful feeling then. Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to be. Learning and practicing dharma is one beautiful choice .
Thank you for this thought provoking article about ‘happiness’, what it means to various people and what it means if we hold on to one view against holding on to an equally opposite view.
I suppose it is always that battle that human face in nourishing our material resources versus nourishing the spirit/spiritual development. The nature of material things, is it is impermanent and ever changing, can be stolen and taken away by force of others or karma. Then there is our spiritual development, something that once we have an insight/wisdom into something, quite difficult for you to lose it, cannot be stolen or taken away but can be enhanced and even improved on with time. Our mind that has been nourished by correct values and ideas, can be brought over to many other existences or future lives, whereas material resources you can’t do so under ordinary circumstances.
Thank you Wei Tan for this write up. I guess all thoughts and perceptions that everyone in this world have is due to different conditions for example tradition, culture and also habituation. From these, it leads to attachment and attachment will give us a lot suffering if we cling on to something or someone too strongly. I guess we must all learn to practice non-attachment so that when something happen, we won’t be so despair and suffer.
With folded palms,
Vivian
All beings are constantly in search of that good warm fuzzy feeling we call “HAPPINESS”. Humans, animals in general, spirits too I am sure; all are in search of happiness. Achieving happiness can get very addictive !
In our pursuit for happiness we make many decisions and take many actions. The outcome may or may not result in achieving happiness. Those actions/decisions that bring us happiness can be short lived or longer term but it is never permanent ? Never permanent in samsara for sure ! But the Buddha did say we can achieve eternal bliss when we are ENLIGHTENED !! That’s cool and surely many will want to be enlightened for the mere fact we can have an end to our sufferings and achieve eternal bliss !!
Hence, the Buddha laid down the path to ENLIGHTMENT; all the different methods one can embark on to achieve an eternal bliss. In all these methods there is one common denominator, that is, we are more sure to achieve happiness if we focus out on others and not otherwise ! Something very hard to do all the time but definitely with more training and transformation the habit of focusing out can be achieved and will result in us being more calm , peaceful and neutral – a clear sign of happiness or another way to put it, no more sufferings !
Thank you Wei Tan for sharing your thoughts on a topic that is the very essence of all lives.
It may be difficult to understand it at first but happiness happens when we do something to benefit others. That is because we suddenly ‘feel’ our value to others and we see that our actions have positive impact and that we are relevant.
On the other hand, doing things with the sole intention of pleasing ourselves is at best a short-term distraction. I guess that is why there is always the next thing we must have in order to be ‘happy’. We actually feel deep down that we have no significance and have no real importance to other. But instead of working on giving ourselves real value, we chose instead the easy and quick diversion.
Personally I have observed that people who live for others are seldom, if at all, depressed. And those who subscribe to self-indulgent things such as ‘shopping therapy are quick to fall frequently into self absorption.
I suppose real happiness cannot be a feeling. It must come from knowledge that we are happiness to other.
This article from Wei Tan is refreshing and coming from a young adult who is able to see things that are impermanent and explaining it to his viewers in simple understandable language. Yes it is true that people have their perceptions that are deep rooted in them because of upbringing or cultures and these may or may not be true. It is up to the individual to be able to see the difference and decide. It is our perception that forms our believe that a person should behave a certain manner or an object should be a certain form.
Like the example given above about the piano. People either like the piano or not. But it is because of the sound it makes or the way it is formed? Does your like for the piano change because of the person playing it or the place the piano is situated. In the end, you confuse yourself with all the additional judgements.
At the end of the day, everyone wants to be happy and what better way to be happy than to give to others. Focusing out on others and put others’ need above ours is a way to be happy. Learning the Dharma and applying it will also make us happy because it is based on universal truth. The Buddha thought us to be charitable and to be giving. By giving unconditionally, we will not have attachments, after all, all things are impermanent. So, make someone happy today.
Thank you Wei Tan for this article on happiness through unselfish living. Happiness had always been an elusive thing that the moment you think you achieve it, it kinda disappear on you. Not knowing and wanting it to remain permanently, we often cause more suffering to ourselves and others. The only solution and true attainment of happiness is to learn the precious Dharma and to practise it in our daily lives. When we understand the cause of our sufferings, then we will be able to better grasp the happiness that had so eluded us for so long.
With the Dharma, we are able to understand how our perception of likes and dislikes are actually the causes of our being unhappy. When we understand that the matter is neutral without our imputation then it will not affect us emotionally. In generating Bodhicitta to care for others and their happiness, we will gain more happiness as we share in their happiness. In helping others, we also spend less time on needing to satisfy our egoistic wants.
We reap what we sow…..!! This is the more powerful law of nature!!
Being selfish reaps being alone and unhappiness. Since the world we live in is full of other people, we are a drop in a vast ocean; how can a drop feel itself the centre of every other drops in the ocean; and have all these other drops think the same?
The way to happiness is to acknowledge the this “drop” is the same as all other drops; acknowledge that it is part of the ocean; be one with the ocean and that this “drop” we call the “self” is ever changing and mixing with all other drops of the ocean. Nothing is fixed; all things are ever changing and take care unconditionally all of the ocean.
In that way the drop will experience the happiness that comes with being one with the ocean i.e. all other people and beings……!
Thank you Rinpoche and Wei Tan for this wonderful and “wake up” call for us.
Happiness, unfortunately to so many people is as per what the article mentioned. Such is the nature of samsara (as mentioned in the Lamrim). We have to be wary and always check our minds such that we do not fall further into the abyss of “happiness” in samsara.
Great article to remind us again to check and control our mind.
Thank you.
Lum Kok Luen
Happiness will only come to us if we do something which does not bring any harm to us or the others. This type of happiness will last an eternity whereas happiness which is obtained in a selfish manner will not last because our true color will somehow prevail and that will hurt the people around us. Just my two cents worth.
Thank you Wei for this great article. What you have written is indeed true and very applicable to all of us. We are constantly chasing for something that is not there and it is false.
The projection of what we think is true happiness is false as we have been thought since young that we are suppose to be pursing for relationships, wealth, and pleasure. Yet, what we fail to see is that these things that w seek pleasure from all all just things that will serve us happiness for the short period of time. We fail to see beyond what is said because everyone around us are doing the same, they tell us that it is the only way that leads us to happiness.
True happiness is when we start focusing out and not make everything about ourselves. When we stop putting ourselves as priority and put others that cross paths with us in that position, we will then find happiness. It is the smiles that we will bring to others that is able to bring us that joy to our lives that we are trying to chase constantly.
Wei, it is very amazing that you have understood such deep knowledge at such a young age. Thank you once again for this article that is very easy for all to comprehend about this simple point that many people do not see.
Thank you Wei Tan for this invaluable insight on happiness, it is rather very subjective because happiness can be experienced and felt at different levels. For instance happiness when seeing your child becomes a champion in a race may differ from jumping with joy when one strikes a lottery. The intensity, reason and degree are however difficult to equate perhaps it is the depth and how long it last and the exhilarating factors following this eruption of happiness.
Happiness is an intangible commodity when heightened by jubilation would linger on in a different manner and the underlying factors surrounding it and the continuity of it may perhaps differs on the time, place, temperament, environment and the people one is sharing the happiness with. Therefore, happiness is hard to define in terms of language but can only be felt momentarily.
What is happiness then? It is just a fleeting pleasure of the mind; one cannot grasp it in the hand and hold it for long, it would ultimately dissipates and the after effect depends on one’s mental frame of mind. However, on another note it would generate positivity which would bring about a healthier mind and body.
What is happiness?
Happiness can be defined in so many ways and different people experience happiness in their own way.
Real happiness comes from being compassionate and selfless in helping the less fortunate without bias. Some derived their happiness from seeing people suffering. But this is just our perception of things or happiness that’s supposed to be.
If we live our life in an unselfish manner we have more happiness. This is very true. Life is short and no one knows when we leave this world.
Selfish happiness is short term as we are the only one that is happy by taking advantage of others.
We should therefore strive for compassion happiness by helping those in need.
We always seems to be seeking happiness everywhere when happiness is within our grasp.
Thank you Wei for the wonderful sharing on happiness.
Jill Yam
Thank you Wei Tan for sharing with us your views on this valuable and meaningful article. As a matter of fact, all human beings, or all beings to be exact, constantly seek to find happiness, and find all ways to overcome problems to avoid suffering. Irrespective of whatever the problems, whether individuals, or groups of people may face, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, what is most common to all is the wish to have lasting happiness. Of course, as human beings, all of us have a physical body, which gives rise to sickness and other problems. At the same time, we also have emotions, such as anger, greed and jealousy too, as our negative feelings to be eliminated. Nevertheless, on the positive side, we have love, kindness, tolerance and compassion to be further develop. All these we believe, are part of our human nature, likewise, everyone wants happiness and does not want sufferings. It is said that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion, i.e. the more we are for the welfare and happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes. Cultivating a warmhearted feeling for others always puts our mind at ease. As long as we live in this World we are bound to encounter problems. At such time, if we lose hope and get discouraged, we lose our ability to face difficulties. We must always not forget to remember that it is not just ourselves, but everyone who has to undergo sufferings. This is a realistic perspective, and not just you and I, but everyone has to undergo suffering. We must increase our determination and capacity to overcome them. With such an encouraging attitude in our mind, each new obstacle would be seen as yet another opportunity to improve our mind. As a result our own serenity and inner strength will increase. Om Mani Padme Hung.
我相信很多人都沒有辦法享受到真正的快樂，因為實際上他們並不懂得所謂的快樂。我非常記得尊貴的第廿五世詹杜固仁波切在近期的開示裡說過，但我以自己能夠理解的範圍與大家分享，由於教育的普及化，每個人都有極高的智能聰慧，對生活的技巧和謀生的知識了解深透，不少人成了他人眼中的快樂人，但是這樣往往成了死板的謀生人。
我們要活得快樂，擁有卓越的智能，是不足夠，它需要的是將身語意融合為一体的智慧，惟有智慧才可以讓我們內在生起快樂的本質。智慧讓我們對永恆不變的概念打破，使我們有更充裕的時間去思考、 冥想找回最原始的本質。
快樂是甚麼？當你發問這個問題時，意味著你已經邁向快樂的第一步。所以說， 快樂可以很簡單！
Thank you Rinpoche and Wei Tan
We all perceived thing differently, therefore we have likes and dislikes, and when we experiencing the person or things that we like, we feel happy. However, this happiness is only short term happiness. This selfish happiness comes from feeding our own-self what we wants and desire. It is short term and always ends due to the impermanent nature of all physical things in the universe.
Compassion happiness comes from being kind and compassionate to others.
It is long term as we find happiness, not in physical gains but through spiritual gains. Spirituality and compassion can help us change our perspective
Thank you
Pee Bee Chong
Thank you Rinpoche and Wei Tan for sharing the meaningful article.
We always want to live in beautiful part and dislike to hear or accept the comments. How to lives in happiness its depends how we think on every scenario. We may think positive or negative.
Everything is impermanence. Every situations of likes or dislikes also will change.I’m glad that I can learn Dharma to realized how to apply it when sometimes we struggle with some scenarios.If without Dharma, I wouldn’t have wiser think to learn and see things out of the box.
Thank you Wei Tan, I enjoyed reading the interesting article.
Thanks Rinpoche and Wei for the wonderful article.
I enjoy reading it very much, almost every line makes me nod my head as I totally agree.
As long as we cling on something external for our happiness, it will never last as it never come from the outside. However it doesn’t mean that we cut off everything that we have now to achieve a happier life, but to understand the outer sources such as relationship, wealth are not the ways. I remember Rinpoche explained that wealth is like a toilet, we need a toilet to live our life, if not we will get sick or we can’t live well with it. But we don’t see the toilet as the goal of our life, we need it but it’s not what we should spend our life for it.
I also like the way you explained about our preferences on an object, that it’s our projections play mind games with us. Seeing things as they are, is a daily practice that I be able to analyze when my emotions pop up.
Thank you so much Wei! Looking forward to read more of your writings here 🙂
Dear Wei,
I was told you are someone who thinks deep, and ask very intelligent questions. After reading your article, I would agree.
I love what you wrote about if we don’t understand a situation or person, then we will feel the situation/person to be weird, but if we are patient, and to understand, then our perspective will change.
I have heard Tsem Rinpoche said before, if we base our happiness on impermanent things, then we cannot expect the happiness to be permanent. And unfortunately, most of the things which we perceive as “good” are not permanent. Most if not all people in this world are looking for ways to be happy, and yet, our perspective of happiness all differ, but according to Buddha, the true happiness is based on unselfish mind to benefit others.
Wei, keep up the good work and continue writing. I enjoy your writing very much!