The three-month period from April to June 2020 will be forever etched in our collective memory as a time when the world started to be ravaged by the Covid-19 pandemic. It really felt as though a post-apocalyptic Hollywood movie came alive before our very eyes. Millions of people got infected, thousands died, and for the first time, lockdowns were enforced in most major cities; people had to stay indoors, wear face masks in public, practise social distancing, close non-essential businesses, and so forth. The pandemic brought drastic changes to our lifestyle that is likely to leave a lasting impact even when it is all over. The world as we know it will never be the same again.

It was during this period that a few of Kechara’s Pastors and senior students decided to go online to give teachings in order to share our knowledge of the Dharma and our personal experiences. It was a gesture by Kechara to reach out to members and the public at large in order to help people cope with the unprecedented global situation.

It was not our first foray into giving teachings online but it was certainly the first time we did so with such frequency and regularity. At the time, I gave live-streamed teachings every alternate day and that meant I was teaching three to four times a week. The regularity meant that I had to plan ahead and think of topics I wanted to share, and at the same time read up to refresh my knowledge and to remember the teachings that Rinpoche gave on those subjects.

Amongst the many teachings that were live-streamed, I have picked one in particular – the exaggeration of attachment – which is presented here. This teaching stood out for me, as I find that it possesses particular relevance to Kecharians and even to practitioners all over the world today. Hopefully, I have recreated the pertinent points and conveyed the meaning of the teaching. Writing about this teaching has also given me the freedom to elaborate and expand on what was said verbally. Much of what I have explained is an amalgamation of teachings given by His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche, combined with what I have read or heard in teachings by other masters like Lama Yeshe, Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Dr Alexander Berzin and so forth.

The Origins of Attachment

My sharing about attachment came about when I was trying to explain the psychology behind the boredom and frustration we feel when we are under lockdown at home. At the time, I explained that it boils down to attachment because we are attached to going out, shopping, meeting friends, watching movies at the cinema, and so forth.

In order to understand this, we have to explore the nature of what it is like to have attachment. It has got nothing to do with the particular object, person or circumstance to which we are attached. Instead, it has everything to do with our perception and how we regard what we see as desirable. According to the Buddha, we do not perceive objects, people and the world around us as how they really are. We perceive them according to our self-interest because we value ourselves as more important than others. This is known as the self-cherishing mind. This self-cherishing attitude arises because of what is known as a ‘self-cherishing I’ or ego that compels us to act in this manner. It is due to the emphasis on our self-interest that we develop what is known as attachment.

The nature of attachment is desirous as it compels us to have clinging towards and craving for the things, people and circumstances that we find attractive. Desirous attachment is one of the three root delusions, the other two being ignorance and hatred. They are collectively known as the Three Poisons. Attachment is also the hardest delusion to remove. As is said in the Lamrim, removing attachment is akin to removing oil from a piece of oil-drenched cloth. Hence, it is not surprising that the Buddha named the realm we exist in as the desire realm. The desire realm encompasses the six types of rebirth that are commonly talked about in Buddhism: hell beings, hungry ghosts, animals, humans, demi-gods and gods. This is because the Buddha was able to perceive the fact that the pervading delusion of all living beings is desire or desirous attachment.

How Attachment Manifests

Attachment occurs when we develop a liking for an object, a possession, a person or a particular situation by exaggerating its good qualities in our mind. Exaggeration here means that we ‘magnify’ the object’s perceived qualities and focus on them. In the process, we also either ignore or downplay the shortcomings or negative qualities of the object. This makes us crave for all the things we find desirable, people that we are infatuated with, objects that we simply cannot live without, and circumstances that we insist on having in spite of being aware of their drawbacks and shortcomings.

Attachment drives us to chase after whatever we deem to be desirable that we have not yet acquired. In doing so, we gladly make tradeoffs or sacrifices in order to acquire it. We suffer a lot to get it and when we do finally acquire it, we worry about losing it due to many different possible circumstances. For example, take a person who has been dating for the longest time, going through endless dates with numerous suitors. The person is just about to give up on the whole dating scene when they finally meet the one ‘perfect’ person whom they like. To their surprise, the feeling is mutual. The person then goes out of their way to do everything in their power to keep this boyfriend or girlfriend, because they are worried of losing the person and their chance at a relationship.

In addition, attachment also makes us crave for more, though it is never enough. The more money and power we acquire, the more we want. This is when our attachment manifests as greed. However, we are never satisfied. In the Buddhist texts, this process is analogous to a thirsty man attempting to quench his thirst by drinking seawater. The more he drinks, the thirstier he gets. It goes without saying that his thirst is never quenched. Similarly, when we acquire material items such as clothes, jewellery, money, properties, cars and so forth, we crave even more and we have to work double or triple hard to sustain that lifestyle.

Aside from craving for more, we realise that whatever we have acquired might be lost and it would not be so easy to acquire it again. However, despite all our best precautions, we eventually lose whatever we are attached to, we suffer a great deal and we go through the whole cycle of trying to acquire it again. There are some things in life that we lose, which we may not have the karma to acquire again. For example, you can lose a family heirloom, and because of this we suffer greatly because it can never be replaced.

We also go through a great deal of suffering due to our attachment for our prized possessions like a watch, handbag, car and so forth. This happens when it breaks down or gets stolen. We can lose a good friend due to disagreement, other reasons or even death. Everything is subject to impermanence. It does not matter which forms these objects take, they are all manifestations of attachment. When we indulge or dwell in our attachments, we reinforce them and when our attachments become stronger, we find it harder to engage in spiritual practice because we are distracted, have multiple reasons not to do it, and we go through many emotional ups and downs. Ultimately, our attachments catch up with us when we are on our deathbeds and it is our attachments that drag us to negative states of rebirth.

A Method to Lessen Attachment

There are many ways to lessen attachment. One of the most popular methods taught by the Buddha is to meditate on death and impermanence, beginning with our own mortality. This means we contemplate on our own death and imagine what it would be like to die, to go through the various sensations we feel as we are dying.

This contemplation was traditionally done with the visual aid of a skull or some bones. In the past, ascetics would even engage in death meditation at ancient charnel grounds where signs of death were strewn all over the place. For modern practitioners, Rinpoche recommended watching documentaries, like Faces of Death, during which we graphically see the various ways in which people die – from accidents, assassinations or even the gory footage of an autopsy in which the body of a person is cut open just like a piece of meat.

Rinpoche explained that the more we find the visuals of a corpse upsetting, it reflects how much attachment we have towards our bodies. The point of this exercise is to develop a deeper understanding of the truth of our bodies and the fate that we will all share – death. Before watching such videos, we should set our motivation to further our contemplation on death and not let it become just another thrill or entertainment. Otherwise, the spiritual element of this exercise will be lost.

When this contemplation is done consistently, our attachments will lessen over time and instead of it becoming morbid, we will actually find ourselves becoming lighter and we will experience fewer emotional issues. Ultimately, we realise our time here on this earth is limited and therefore, we realise that it is more meaningful to spend time on spiritual practice and learning.

In Conclusion

As mentioned earlier, attachment is one of the Three Poisons, the other two being ignorance and hatred. This is pictorially depicted as a snake (hatred), rooster (attachment) and pig (ignorance). These three animals are locked in the middle of the ‘wheel of life’ depiction, each biting the tail of one of the other animals. This depiction represents that each delusion reinforces the other two and in simple terms, this means that the more attachment we have, the more hatred and ignorance we have as well.

Ultimately, attachment is one of the main factors that compels us to take negative states of rebirth in an unending cycle. It would be difficult to uproot attachment completely on its own and that is why in the Lamrim, it says to go beyond attachment and develop what is known as renunciation, which is the powerful wish to leave cyclic existence of death and rebirth. We develop renunciation by combining special contemplations on the faults of samsara (or cyclic existence) and special appreciation and contemplations on our current opportune rebirth. This is covered in greater detail in the Lamrim teachings.

The Psychology of Boredom

For more interesting information:

• Introduction to the Four Noble Truths
• Why Non-Attachment Is One of the Keys to a Happy Life & Relationship
• Snakes, Roosters and Pigs by Tsem Rinpoche
• Ten Counterproductive Behaviors of Well-Intentioned People
• Finding Deeper Meaning in Life with Dorje Shugden
• Tales With My Lama: Daily Practice
• Tales With My Lama: Laugh Away Your Ego
• Tales With My Lama: Why Rinpoche Has To Suffer
• Tales With My Lama: Larger Than Life
• Tales With My Lama: Manjushri
• Tales With My Lama: Audience With Tsem Rinpoche

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