Living at home, the real reasons?

Oct 11, 2015 | Views: 2,328

I received another message today that one of my students is very firm on becoming a nun!!! She use to make a lot of excuses for not finding time for dharma, dharma work, volunteering and such.

Although mature, she lives at home and allow her parents the situation to not approve of her spending so much time at the centre. I mean if you live at home, use the facilities, want the convenience of home cooked meals, someone to do your laundry, clean up the place, pay the bills, and basically you have to not worry about bills, of course there’s payback. I mean if your old enough to go live on your own, and you are still at home, it just means VERY CLEARLY that you want everything to be convenient for you. Convenience comes from not wanting to challenge one’s comfort zones. Unless you are home to care for your parents as they are very old or sick, that is different. If you live at home because you want convenience, you will never go higher in many things you do. Because you are stuck on the fundamental attitude of wanting convenience/not taking responsibility for yourself. When that attitude is present, it will pervade everything you do hence be your stumbling block to do much more in time. Do not look at how you are now, but what you can be if you take it one day at a time..try, fail, get up, try and do it again..then succeed..But better to try and fail then do nothing and fail..In trying, you build yourself up for the next challenge..because although you failed your last try, you gain the knowledge on how to do better the next time-that knowledge is an invaluable tool. You will not succeed the minute you are on your own and you will have a lot of anxieties and frustrations, but that is because you are still longing for the conveniences. You have to become independent. If you don’t you will wish to do more, wish to be more and wish you had done more but you didn’t because your fear stopped you. Your fear can only lead to more fear. It does not end with hiding. You can only wish to be more as you watch the world/peers go by and achieve more and you are left behind. Being left behind is a greater fear than challenging yourself to do more when you can right now.

Even financially we suffer eventually. Because when we live at home, we blow our paychecks on self indulgences most of the time because we know our parents will pay for everything… And we end up not learning the responsibilities of paying bills, watching our spending, saving, donating towards dharma (merits), or investing in anything. Most of the time, we use the money for our own fun.  How much do we donate to dharma, charities, or others when we get our paycheck and it’s just for us. We have already portioned off a large part of our next paycheck for fun… if you are doing that, it is a dangerous and frivolous direction because you will end up in a big mess when your parents are not around anymore. Growing up means not having the conveniences of home, yet you are adjusting and you find space in your freedom to explore and grow. The dividend of living on your own is you grow, expand, and learn tools for survival you would have never learned at home.

Yes, if you lived on your own, you would have to pay up more, have less to spend for yourself and maybe sometimes have very little luxury money. But that would make you perform better at work. Make sure you move up. Change your attitude, behaviour, dressing, appearance, performance, speech to impress to be successful. It forces to change yourself for the better. Check out people who live at home although mature, and people who strike out on their own… who in the end achieves more internally and externally. Be honest and check it out.. Nothing better than you needing to really survive to make you change… change yourself to develop the tools by putting your comfort zones behind you and achieving much greater success which ironically will really bring comfort to you… It pushes you in a good way to be all that you can be BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT. Because you have to pay the bills. You have to be determined not to borrow from you parents or use your parents when you move out. Because you don’t want to have at the back of your mind, well if I fail, I can fall back on them. That little thought at the back of the mind can be your biggest obstacle too.  So you have to remove the obstacles to your success. Yes, your parents will miss you and you them, but in the end, parents who have their kids true welfare in mind, will be happy the kids rough it out while they are alive and can watch like mother hens from a distance.  Parents will be happy for you if you make it and learn. Whose parents wouldn’t ? I have come across strange parents (rare) that have other agendas. They wouldn’t be happy because their kids welfare is not the priority… I am sorry to say that, but there are so many types of people in the world. For the most part, parents will be happy you become independent, responsible, self-sustaining and happy with your life.

 

 

Now this student of mine who wishes to be a nun, has turned her situation all around.  Not that she wants to be a nun, but she is gaining independence from her own fears and her very heavily guarded comfort zones… I am so happy for her and anyone who conquers herself. She spends so much quality time at Kechara and really is firm to be a nun. Very excellent. I will send her to Gaden in the future to take vows!! I am so excited to prepare her robes and send her to holy sacred beautiful Gaden to take vows with the old, wonderful, wise monks!!!! I love the old monks… I love them so much. What a blessing to get vows from them. A wonderful way to spend the rest of our lives with sangha vows.

Imagine being one of the sanghas here, to spend your time in dharma, dharma thoughts, dharma actions, dharma environment and nurture others in the dharma. As a nun, if you hold your vows well, you will be more believable if you share dharma with others because you are practicing renounciation. Very powerful when you walk the talk in anything in life.  Leaving home is not to be a nun, but to find yourself and be the best you can. Nunhood or independence should never be an escape also. To give your loving parents a break from raising you already. The reason to leave home is not to be rebellious but to make yourself reach your potential. I am not an example to follow exactly, but I left home at 15 and have been independent since then. I have no regrets now when I look back..but when I was 15, 16, 17, 18 at the time and working to survive on my own in Los Angeles, I WAS SCARED. Very scared. I had my dharma, my protector and me… The best way to watch your children not grow or mature is to take care of everything for them even if they have moved out. That is love, but love can manifest differently.

Sometimes it’s not our parents, but us. We use our parents, situations and other poor me excuses to stay at home because we are afraid to fail. It’s easier to be at home pointing fingers at self made external obstacles to justify not moving ahead because the thought of failure paralyzes us… and we can’t face it, but it’s better to do so. Fear never goes away, it just grows if left in the dark corners of our minds quietly but surely.. In reality, it is the reverse. We don’t want to strike out on our own, because we are afraid of failure, lack of resources and also the taunt of peers if we don’t ‘make’ it. Making it is also a perspective or perception. Again, there are people who are home for genuine reasons, but this write up is not about those reasons that do exist. The bottom line is we look at our age and see what we have achieved… to self-understand what our reasons are for being at home. Sometimes we can be angry at the centre, our peers, our colleagues for challenging us towards independence. We might think it’s undue pressure. But the pressure is not from others, but guilt of being discovered for our real intentions of staying home and the insidious comfort zones we selfishly protect… not trying to make anyone sound dubious here. But some people rather not fail and live in this world of make believe, but you know what, you have already failed if you choose this. In time it becomes glaringly obvious….. because you can’t be 25, 30 or 40 or 50 and still be at home.

Chinese have this culture if you are not married you stay home until you are. But with time, changes in world view, modernity, situations, and needs, cultural practices that were good in the past can be modified for the future. Frankly speaking, there are many people living at home now, and THEY WILL NEVER GET MARRIED, so quit fooling your parents and ultimately yourself… sorry… LOL. There are always exceptions, but we have to be true to ourselves and then we can be true to others.

I am very happy for this student who has come such a long way. From a complaining whiny person who makes so much excuses not to do more with her life because she says her parents don’t allow it. It’s not your parents don’t allow it, it’s that you put yourself in a situation that your parents are so worried about you since you live at home, that their care of you and protection of you becomes like control. A measure of how much you are stuck in your comfort zone is if you are a young adult or adult and if you are still living at home. I am not asking you all to leave and abandon your parents or make you feel guilty about living at home, but to examine the truth of why you are still there. When we are adults, we have to strike out and do what we need to do already. Do not be stuck in your comfort zones for the time being. Because the comfort zones we enjoy now will turn to bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and regrets later when everyone moves ahead and we are still living at home, having our bills paid, and served as if we are still 10 years old.   We can all do more and the first step is to be truly independent where we support ourselves totally. It’s scary, but scarier later if we don’t. I mean no disrespect to anyone nor encourage children-parent rebellion, but this is more a self examination using one example of living at home.

Find yourself. Be with yourself. Fail and then achieve. There’s so much more out there. Find your inner freedom by making a change from the outside as a start. You can achieve. You can do it… why not… failure is only when you don’t try and go all the way… there’s really nothing to lose that you won’t lose anyway if you don’t do it!

Tsem Rinpoche

 

(Originally posted May 2011)

 

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34 Responses to Living at home, the real reasons?

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  1. Samfoonheei on Sep 16, 2020 at 12:58 pm

    We have to move forward in life, become independent, responsible, self-sustaining and be happy. Leaving behind our comfort zone to live away from our family, spending our time meaningfully . Doing what we always loves to. It’s scary, living at home doing nothing, life is short and impermanence . Its never too late making a change in our life for the better. True life is lived when tiny changes occur. By changing nothing, nothing changes. All great changes are preceded by chaos. Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal. Change is inevitable. When we change our thinking, moving forward , letting go our comfort zone , it will change our life. No one will change for us.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this profound teachings.

  2. S.Prathap on Jun 25, 2020 at 1:58 am

    This article more of an advice for us to go all out to do what we want to do then staying in a comfort zone call home sweet home. Well making a change from the outside as a start as advice .
    We love to stay within our comfort zone because it is in our human nature and also we are afraid of unknown.Thank you very much for sharing a such a inspiring article.

  3. Joey Tan on Jul 19, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    what I have learned from this article live independently means live outside of our comfort zone which I believe everyone can do it. It is just the matter of ourselves want to stay in comfort zone or vice versa. Living outside of our comfort zone is not impossible if we know what we want in our life. Staying at home does not challenge us to grow as we are comfortable in our zone. Such an amazing reminder and also thanks Rinpoche for the advices and share with us about Rinpoche’s student whom is firm in becoming a nun.

  4. Stella Cheang on Feb 19, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche for this advice, which gives depth to what it means by living with parents versus living on our own. The key takeaway is taking responsibility for our own life hence making our own destiny. Camping in our comfort zone for too long will not fuel us to do better or be stronger and more independent. At the end of the day, our attitude determines our actions, and our actions determine our success. Go for it, everyone! You never try, you never know. 🙂

  5. samfoonheei on Aug 13, 2016 at 1:05 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing this beautiful post and the story of your student moving out of comfort zone to be a nun.It more of an advice for us to go all out to do what we want to do then staying in a comfort zone call home sweet home. Well making a change from the outside as a start as advice . Be with yourself. Fail and then achieve…..I will always remembered Rinpoche’s advice and teachings,
    Thanks again and rejoice to that student of Rinpoche.

  6. Wan Wai Meng on Apr 3, 2016 at 3:27 am

    Thank you to Rinpoche for providing invaluable advice of how to not fool ourselves and challenge our boundaries so we can grow. There is always room for growth.

  7. Chris Chong on Dec 5, 2015 at 1:50 am

    Dear Rinpoche ,

    Thank you for exposing the truth of the nature of staying with parents. Rinpoche always reminded us to come out of our comfort zone and try new things. We love to stay within our comfort zone because it is in our human nature and also we are afraid of unknown. However, we need to remind ourselves that the unknown here does not only have failures, embarrassment, and heartbreaks. It also includes success, new excitement and also new opportunity. Yes, the unknown is scary sometimes but we do have to go for the leap of faith sometimes and who knows we could have made the best decision in our life. Besides, only when we come out of our comfort zone, we will grow and transform ourselves.

    Chris

  8. Jacinta Goh on Oct 12, 2015 at 2:33 am

    Rinpoche,
    This article is the reflection of my past and current situation as well. I’ve always thought that I am very fortunate that I can have most of the thing that I’ve wanted. I do not have to worry for many things as well. Everything is being taken care of. But since learning about Buddhism, it changes my perspective and most importantly my view towards life. I am still struggling but am gaining some independence on my own. I am learning to drive and my life has since been purposeful when I included Dharma.I also know a bunch of Dharma friend both in Penang and KL who accompany me along this path. Although there are many things that I do not know (yes, i am being laughed at )but slowly and surely am learning up. For this, I have to thank Rinpoche for guiding me in my path. Dharma gives me strength to move on.

  9. sandra on Feb 26, 2015 at 12:24 am

    OMG this teaching exposes all the nitty gritty issues of adults who stay at their parents’. Now I understand why in the western world there is a huge push for kids to ‘grow up’ at 18 and take adult responsibilities. In fat young teens look forward to he day they turn 18 and take life in their own hands. It does have positives and negatives because while most 18 year olds aren’t fully mature and stable in their minds, I guess the sooner they learn about the ways of the world, the better it is for them and people around them. Now, this take on upbringing is quite a contrast to the Eastern style of upbringing especially for girls where one is expected to not be so ‘exposed’ although this is a very narrow view. Not every Asian parent has that style I guess. Anyway I have the hard copy of this teaching to learn it’s core meaning. So, congrats to the person in the article who was taking charge of their life.

  10. Joy on Feb 27, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    Honestly I have always thought living on my own is pretty cool and was looking so forward to it after my SPM or after 16 years old… perhaps this is because my parents passed away when I was in my early teens.

    However I found this advice from Rinpoche “Gaining independence from our own fears and our very heavily guarded comfort zones…” is so uplifting in so many aspects… and I suppose to most Asians living at home is a “comfort zone” but for the west it is quite a norm and expected. Comfort zones does just manifest in who we are living with, it is about us not willing or wanting to break away from something we are used to even though it brings us nowhere and in fact something an obstacle to our growth. Living with our parents is just another manifestation of this comfort zones and well it is even more interesting to know that parents not knowing better encourages this in due to their attachments to their kids. It is also not good cos some kids will always rely and depend on their parents to solve their problems and never take any real responsibility.

    Well I am happy to read that finally after many year this wanna be nun student of Rinpoche is now able to challenge her comfort zones to grow and become better. Why better? Because she will become independent, stronger and instead of creating obstacles to her practice, she will gain so much more in return for her and her family and inspire others!

  11. Wendy Ho on May 31, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Reading this article brings back memories of how resistant I was in moving out of my parents’ house into a Dharma house a few years ago. I did it anyways because Rinpoche wanted me to although the move made no sense to me at all at that time. I somehow trusted and respected Rinpoche enough to do that despite my fears and discomfort.

    I was very comfortable at home. There was always home cooked food on the table, the maid did the housekeeping and helped with my laundry. On top of that I did not have to pay rental and could enjoy all the facilities at home. Moving out means extra expenses and inconveniences. Plus the Dharma house I was moving into was only 15 minutes drive from my parents’ house. My parents could not understand why either and was not too pleased with my decision.

    For the longest time I could not come to terms with it. I missed the conveniences at home and the company of my family very much.

    However, now that I look back, it was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I realized how spoilt, dependent, lazy, indiscipline, irresponsible and with no fighting and survival instincts I was because I had it so easy and it was not serving me or anybody around me at all. Although my parents had the best intention, I must say they were not the wisest in this aspect.

    As a result, many times I fell flat on my face when encountering challenges. Moving out made me realise that there was so much I had to change in myself. I suffered a lot realising how much I have failed people around me and myself and how I must improve to be a more discipline, responsible, caring, independent and beneficial adult and not a selfish spoilt brat who was completely self indulgence and of no benefit to anyone. I also began to appreciate my family and friends more and realise how kind they have been to me although I had done nothing much for them. I realised how important it is to take charge of my own life and be independent.

    Although I have not completely reformed yet, at least I am now on the path towards that direction. Looking back, I know now that Rinpoche made me make that decision because he loves me and cares for me and wants me to grow to be a better person. I will forever be grateful. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU Rinpoche.

  12. mima on May 14, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Thank you for this wonderful blog, Rinpoche.
    Thank you from the deepest of my heart, thank you for all your work and presence with us to help us to do our dharma work, to help us to live a life of dharma, a life of service and compassion. Everything you do is affecting us deeply right to our being. You know how to communicate to us, you know what are our problems and difficulties and you are always so generous with your time ready to answer to us and to give us advices and help. I am for ever deeply grateful to have had the chance to meet you on the internet, to know you and be able to practice with your guidance from the video, from your blogs, websites and more….Thank you to all your devoted teams for giving us so much.
    I love you all very very very much!

  13. Naomi on May 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    This post strongly reflects upon my life and I couldn’t agree more of what you’ve said.

    Years ago, when I left home to study abroad, I suffered tremendously because life is much more challenging and I was reluctant to grow. I wanted to go home so badly because I feel insecure with everything and even don’t know how to take care of myself with the most basic self care- eating, cleaning, etc.
    My life was a mess because I was so out of my comfort zone.
    I called my parents and wanted to give up. My family was upset because I wasted some time of my life being stubborn about this.

    Then, my mind started to wonder around, thinking if someone/ some kind of place could control me or make me become discipline, then my life would go back to normal.
    I even thought of becoming a nun living in a temple with strict rules would change my life. Ended up, that thought got rejected by myfamily. Now when I think back of this, I think my mindset was so wrong because I realized that even if i live at the most sacred temple to live there, my mind will still wonder. Environment can only change a person into some degree but it is up to that person to cultivate self-control/discipline. And you’re right, becoming a nun/monk should not be a way to escape life.

    The funny thing is, when my life went back on track, my parents are upset because I am now fully independent and taking care of myself abroad. They told me that they regret of sending me abroad because their kids never come back to live with them and share their financial burden. I tried to explain to them about my situation and my future. Eventhough as kids, it is our responsibility to take care of them when they’re old. But my parents are not that old, but they already have huge fear of being lonely and abandoned by their kids.
    Eventhough living abroad without family support could be difficult, but it is fullfilling because it makes us tougher and better person of who we are.
    I like your phrase ” fail,get up and try again” becausee all of us are constantly experiencing this phase.

    Sincerely thank you Rinpoche! I appreciate your teachings.

  14. SHY on May 4, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Buddha Sakyamuni left his family searching for answers and finally gain enlightenment.

    May us know your view about a Husband or Wife in modern world wanted to be a sangha or nun. what shall he or she prepare him/herself, kids, parents, business…. before looking for ordination?

    thanks

  15. Lim Han Nee on May 4, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Dear Rinpoche,
    This most inspiring and meaningful post comes at a time when I need
    it most. I rejoice, from my heart, for the lady who has requested to become a nun, thus giving us a fine example of true complete renunciation, a rare thing in modern times.

    I’d always been thinking that it’s too late for me to renounce home and (of course I see now)all the comforts that home has. I’d been thinking that I would just pray and make aspirations that in my next life, I would be born with all the favorable conditions to renounce and become a monastic from young.

    But this (and a couple of other ‘messages’ that Rinpoche has been sending me in recent times) makes me realize that I have to create the causes for that to happen in my next life. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone and begin letting go of fears and worries about my increasingly poor eyesight, poor computer skills,etc and just plunge in. Even though now I take a couple of hours to do even a simple task on the computer, I must continue on. It’s all about creating the causes.I must also learn to multi-task too, from looking after a recently adopted stray baby cat, to mastering computer skills, to mastering Pujas in Tibetan, maybe taking on an English class for adults in KH(if I can find someone to teach me how to conduct such a class).

    Thank you again, Rinpoche, from the depths of my heart for being so kind and patient with me and my stubborn and close mind.

  16. benji on May 4, 2011 at 6:27 am

    i had always thought that to become a monk/nun was heroic!

  17. Su Ming on May 4, 2011 at 3:07 am

    10 years ago when I first moved out from my mom’s house it was because I wanted freedom.

    After knowing dharma my reasons has deepen a bit more as stated in Rinpoche’s article above.

    Also I know it will benefit my dearest mom from “detaching” herself from me. Afterall, my mom is old and the years ahead should be for herself and not for us anymore. I’m indeed very lucky to have her in dharma. Not only will it benefit her now but most importantly her future life. That would be the best gift ever any child can give.

  18. Sandy on May 4, 2011 at 2:24 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    This post hits the nail on the head, definitely, and as you also mentioned, there are exceptions (it wouldn’t be fair to suggest that in all cases, people are simply lazy/fearful – there can be practical and valid reasons for living at home also).

    I can relate to a lot of this, particularly because I hate major change. It may sound ironic, but though I can handle a lot of difficult situations with relative acceptance and adapt to them (like illnesses, deaths, losing contact etc), the thought of, say, moving to a large city or abroad is a huge no-no (but also, paradoxically, a desire of mine). I keep pushing myself to sign up to a TEFL course (Teaching English abroad), but so far I can still find the most intricate of excuses within myself. I have no excuse in reality, so I shan’t try to give any here. I suppose, like a lot of folks, I sometimes expect the result without the effort. I can do anything, so long as I don’t have to risk anything in achieving it…

    However, in addition to your post, I will say that I have a few friends who do live “on their own”, but still rely heavily on their parents. They have their flats and their “independent lives”, but in reality, it’s the parents who are making it happen and if there’s ever any need for financial help, it’s always there. It’s a bungee-independence: always something there to pull you back when you fall too far.

    Of course, one can go down the philosophical road and say none of us are ever truly independent (you didn’t make the laptop on which you wrote this post, grow the food you eat and so on…), but that kind of argument is rarely nothing more than intellectual cowardice – it doesn’t wash.

    I think if there is one excuse to be made, it might be that, if someone is always used to having things done on their behalf, it might be a little tricky for that person to realise exactly how to be independent. It’s real easy for people who are (properly) independent to say there’s nothing much to it, but that’s because they’re used to having that mind set; I think there’s always the danger of viewing the situation of others from our own perspectives – that rarely leads to any helpful advice being given, or any resolution being found.

    But nevertheless, I had expected to find lots to disagree with here (on first sight), but I have to say, in my opinion, it seems extremely dangerous to rely on convenience. One day it has to run out, and if one doesn’t have the skills or know-how to deal with life minus the safety net, the actual reality could infact prove infinitely more fearful than the reality projected by irrational fears of independence in the first place.

    Kind regards,
    Sandy

  19. Shirley Maya Tan on May 4, 2011 at 2:16 am

    Fear has its way of disguising many good things into bad and taking us away from where we are supposed to be. After all, the opposite side of fear is courage. If we had the courage, then there is no contest or hesitation, we will our best to progress and move onto a higher level.

    I didn’t use to think that being closeted in one’s comfort zones was a bad thing. I used to think that it was the final goal – what we all strived for in the life. To be surrounded by things of comfort and luxury. And to be taken care. Naturally, I was blind to the payback. The other side of being pampered, fed and taken care of. This could only occur when I don’t do anything constructive and just wait to be “served”.

    I keep reading this post over and over again. It struck how society has built this ‘ultimate dream’ of having a certain lifestyle that includes the marriage, kids, house and cars. But how real is this dream? How real is this lifestyle?

    Personally, I cannot think of a higher way to repay the kindness of our parents and everyone who has helped us than being ordained. I think it is the highest return of kindness in action that one commits for the rest of one’s life. That is truly beautiful and immensely beneficial – to the those we love and to ourselves.

    To be able to come to this decision of ordination, one has really decided to give over one’s life to returning all the kindness one has received – not just in this life but also, in all past and future lives. In my humble opinion, it is the most responsible decision a person can make.

    May I have the good fortune to turn my life around completely – not just for this life, but for all lives.

    I love this post. Thank you so much, Rinpoche.

  20. Koh Hee Peng on May 4, 2011 at 12:47 am

    I hope that in this life time I would be ordained and be a monk and live in a monastry and focus on dharma 100% and to benefit others with whatever knowledge and wisdom I have gained from the teachings received in the monastry.

    That is the best gift that I can repay for all the kindness that I have received througout my life from many people/beings that I have met in my life.

  21. Martin Chow on May 3, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    This is indeed a good story and and very encouraging one. This story applies even to those who have not lived at home with the parents for a quite some time. Essentially the elements herein apply to a number of other scenarios.

    Fear of the unknown is always a ready stumbling block and we tend to stick to “what we know” and keep repeating the way we do things and hardly check why we are doing it, if it is worth doing it, and if there is a better way of doing it, and even if there is something better that we should be applying ourselves to.

    Failure has many precious lessons to teach provided we apply the correct attitude to failure, and not run away from it and deny it. I have come to realise that failure might very well be the road block we need to re-examine how we have been living our lives and make the necessary adjustments.

    Failure clears a lot of distractions. Often Success blinds us from our true potential.

  22. KH Ng on May 3, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    I rejoice for this person because she have make the right decision and also because His Eminence has decided to allow her to do it. It shows that she has the sincerity and the Guru sees it. As always H.E.has a lesson for us all in this and a very good lesson. I hope all of us read this well and understand the logic in this..of leaving home. I think it is about being responsible for ourselves.
    With folded hands!!

  23. Sarah on May 3, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Wow! such a good news that someone has decided to be a nun! I’m very happy to hear such news.

    Thank you for this wonderful message. It got me thinking, and everything said here is so true. I belong to one of those chinese family that ‘don’t move out until they get married’ which would mean never for me.

    Every time i go home, it feels like i’m returning to a hotel… everything is there… not that i don’t appreciate a convenient lifestyle but other factors start to sink into my life. I love my parents very much, but i also know they are too used to my presence at home that they become unsettled if i go out or come home late… even if it’s for volunteering in Kechara.

    I guess i should be less selfish and move out after graduation so that my parents can at least have some peace of mind…

    One question… is the ultimate goal of doing dharma work as a lay person to eventually be a monk/nun?
    If yes, how does one know it’s the right time?

  24. David Lai on May 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for this wonderful news of this student wanting to become a nun and message. It was not easy and it is still not easy living on my own and all the expenses incurred. However, I am glad and I would never go home to live with my parents (unless to take care of them). I enjoy the freedom and I do see myself maturing although not necessarily fast enough but I am sure much more than if I were to stay at home.

    I can’t imagine what kind of person I would be if I were to keep ‘taking’ from my parents by staying at home and they would just take care of the bills, food, laundry and emotional dependence. I know so many of ex-classmates and friends who are still staying at home and the amazing dependence they have on their parents although they already 30! ]

    • Pastor David Lai on Oct 12, 2015 at 9:49 pm

      I am having another look at this post and I am amazed myself because it speaks to me just as it had when I first read it 4 years ago. However, I would like to add that Malaysian or rather Asian culture allows for many youths to stay at home and live off their parents till they get married. In the West, you turn 18 and you are out on your own. In Asia, it is when you get married and that can vary between 18 to 40 years old. Getting married is considered the threshold of adulthood because one would have to start a family. Different norms for different cultures. However, one still cannot deny the empowering feeling of freedom and of learning to live on one’s own terms.

  25. Josh Akers on May 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    I wanna be a mountain climber in Oregon… I want to have my own cabin. I want a jet-ski… I want to devote my life to the Dharma. Definitely time to strike it out on my own!!!

  26. SJ on May 3, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    Any advice to someone who has been constantly throwing herself out of all sorts of comfort zones via making changes from the outside and still have difficulty finding inner freedom and be with herself? So much so that eventually have a lot of difficulties crawling out of the dark hole of a clinical depression? Over independent, may be? And lack the ability in seeking help?

    • samantha on May 5, 2011 at 9:55 am

      getting out of comfort zone is something which not many plp are willing to do..she should give herself a pat on the back.

      all these efforts will eventually drain her out if she does not have a clear purpose.It’s like keeping swinging a racket without a focus and hope that you will hit the ball before you “paste” yrself to the floor.:)

      Get her to definate HER terms of inner freedom..what would it like?
      From there look at the options available to achieve it..

    • joey wong on May 6, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      Hi SJ,

      Perhaps she isnt trying to break her comfort zones but merely running away from herself and her surroundings?

      • SJ on May 7, 2011 at 8:29 pm

        Dear Samantha & Joey,
        This dear friend is certainly terribly good in getting out of comfort zones and hoping she’d bump into something inspiring enough and open up a brand new perspective and begin meaningful healing process. Unfortunately, may be Sam was right, it’s also like swinging a racket blindly. Even more unfortunate is, very often, people who are clinically depressed finds it hard to determine “meanings” in many things, including definition for “inner freedom”. I suppose it’s like spinning endlessly inside a dark hole and couldn’t figure out way out. I so hope I can help. But human mind is so unassuming in many levels…

  27. joey wong on May 3, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    thank you so much for being so kind to explain the reasons to be independent. It is very mind-blowing and compelling for me to do so.

    I am still searching for a suitable place to stay at the moment and will be moving out once i find it.

    Thank you again so much for giving me the extra boost to break past my silly fears.

  28. Liz Messerschmied on May 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Dear Tsem, i really rejoice ur writing – although at the outside we might be so “different”, i feel very strong connection with u and ur messages. All the best to u and the woman who`ll become a nun and others! Liz

  29. Terri on May 3, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I am happy for your friend who wants to be a nun too. For many years I sincerely wanted to ordain too, and I have a hard time to read this because it is impossible for me. I work hard too, I had all kinds of material things and I gave them away over and over again when I thought I would have an opportunity to ordain, but it ended up quite disastrous. Still I had adventures. I went on alms round in Thailand and practiced Vipassana there. I learned new languages. But sometimes it was so awful and I made so many enemies, and I had to live in homeless shelters and was almost sexually assaulted several times. It was so scary, I am getting older now so I don’t think I could try again. I live in my own small apartment and I work all the time trying to make a good life for myself, but I feel like I was doing a lot more for the world when I was going to pray at the temple and studying dharma. Even though I have all the material things back that I gave away its like I don’t really have time to meditate anymore. I just have time to listen to dharma but if I try to practice all I think about is bills I have to pay. So it is sad. I left home at 16 also because I was in a very unstable home. It is hard work right now to have a lifestyle like before I went to the monastery because the economy in the US is awful. And it’s not going to get better. People see me now and think I am so much better off since I gave up hopes for ordination, but I don’t see it that way. I feel very much like I have crawled under a rock and that I am just waiting for the day I kick it.

  30. Steve Tobias on May 3, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    I rejoice that this person has decided to become a nun. I will work to follow her example and this well-written message. The sangha inspires all practitioners not just his/her self.

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Blog Chat

BLOG CHAT

Dear blog friends,

I’ve created this section for all of you to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings about whatever interests you.

Everyone has a different perspective, so this section is for you.

Tsem Rinpoche


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  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, May 16. 2021 02:02 PM
    Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which we focus on being intensely aware of what we’re sensing and feeling in the moment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress. Very beneficial practice indeed . Through mindful living practices, we can find happiness, joy, and meaning in our lives. Our true self. Mindful living can help us to find more happiness, joy and meaning in our life.
    Yes the coronavirus pandemic is a reminder of how fragile our lives is. Having these mindful meditation on a daily basis via live stream helps many of us coping with the lockdown.
    Thank you JP Thong for sharing whatever we need to know all about meditation exercise in mindfulness. A thumb up …….simply amazing understanding the basic and what to do when we are distracted by our thoughts, emotions, sensations, and so forth. Thanks again.


    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/live-your-best-life-100-days-of-mindful-meditation.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, May 16. 2021 02:00 PM
    Millions years ago earth is being visited by alien intelligence, evidence did proved it. Any way such reports were also being covered up for the fear might cause panic , and so forth. Do aliens exist? Many scientists believe that humans need to work harder to determine whether aliens have visited Earth. There are many discoveries seemed to increase the prospect of extra-terrestrial entities existing been millions years ago. Maybe in years to come scientist or researchers will reveal who else might be out there . Whether extra-terrestrial life has actually touched the soil of Earth, watching us all. Many people has claimed of alien sightings around the whole and yet no hard evidence to support it. A highly unusual object was spotted travelling through the solar system. But not everyone agrees with what they saw, it is indeed an alien spaceship but scientist disagree with the claim. Well all depend of how we see and judge. But how feasible is this?? Interesting discoveries which one day, where the question will be answer .
    Thank you Rinpoche for this interesting sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/ancient-aliens-the-return.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Sunday, May 16. 2021 01:59 PM
    Given a chance to look at H. E. Tsem Rinpoche’s personal Heruka Cakrasamvara statue paints a thousand words. We are so fortunate been able to have a glance at this beautiful and powerful divine statue of Heruka Cakrasamvara. Its so real and merely looking at it is a blessing.
    Thank you Pastor David for sharing this post with the stories behind it.


    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/one-minute-story/tales-with-my-lama-rinpoches-heruka-statue
  • Samfoonheei
    Saturday, May 15. 2021 12:25 PM
    Gyenze is a fully enlightened Buddha been practiced by many as he will help anyone who sincerely requests his assistance without any conditions. Gyenze is regarded by many for his ability to increase material resources, life, merit and realisations. Gyenze is Dorje Shugden in a wealth form specifically to help us gain resources through correct means. Its a very wonderful and beneficial practice indeed , all thanks to our Lama Tsem Rinpoche for bringing us this practice to Malaysia. Well , Gyenze had since help many people during their difficult times and bring more people to dharma and Kechara Forest Retreat at Bentong Pahang.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful sharing and explaining in details of this Gyenze practice.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/dorje-shugden-gyenze-to-increase-life-merits-and-wealth.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Saturday, May 15. 2021 12:22 PM
    According to Buddhism, everything in human life, all objects will one day disappeared, we cannot change that for sure. Everything changes and nothing will last forever. From our emotions to our thoughts and feelings, from the cells in our bodies to the plants around us, will somehow change and decay soon or later.
    Our Guru Tsem Rinpoche had prepares all of us to meet with the inevitable, which is our own death. Rinpoche had been teaching us all these while. No matter whom we meet in life, all situations eventually lead to separation and all relationships will end via death. In-fact our guru’s parinirvana is actually a final experiential teaching on death and impermanence for all of us. Hence it is important for us to immerse ourselves fully into each and every moment of life in learning and practicing Dharma. And following all advices and instructions of our Guru and fulfil what not completed. Instead of feeling lost we should somehow to devoting oneself entirely especially in fulfilling all of our guru’s wishes and continue his work nor matter what comes along. Reading this post had me realised there ‘s indeed quite a long way to go , thanks to all those involved especially senior student and so forth. May all of us play a part to be involved as a team then. We should help when necessary and encourage people coming into Dharma joining the centre and its activities. This post tells us all , a good and detailed read.
    Thank you Pastor David for this sharing, had me having a good thoughts.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/devoting-yourself-to-a-guru-who-has-passed-on.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Saturday, May 15. 2021 12:21 PM
    Millions of years ago extra-terrestrials have in fact visited Earth claimed by researchers and scientists . The controversial theory have been going for years from the age of the dinosaurs to ancient Egypt, from early cave drawings to continued mass sightings in the US. Did these intelligent beings from outer space visit Earth thousands of years ago? With all the unexplained activity we are bound to see something strange in the sky sooner or later. Reading this post and watching the video tells us all….. very interesting. We are not alone after all. Yes… aliens do exist I strongly believe having read articles more of those unexplained surroundings in the outer space.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing .

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/science-mysteries/ancient-aliens-season-1-episode-4-the-mission.html
  • sarassitham
    Tuesday, May 4. 2021 03:46 PM
    Bali is a magical Island probably the most well-known and most visited Indonesian island. A part of Indonesia archipelago, Bali owns the panorama and unique culture that make this island an ideal location for a vacation.

    It’s shock to discover people in Bali are eating dog meat. Aside from the cruelty, the greatest shock was to discover that tourists are unwittingly eating dog meat and fueling the mobile dog meat vendors are trawling popular beaches in Bali selling satays from buckets, deliberately not telling people the origin of the meat.

    This is causing shocking animal cruelty over the popular holiday destination and
    definitely putting the local Balinese and foreign tourists’ health at risk .Thanks for the thoughtful sharing and bringing awareness to many.

    https://bit.ly/2RknC6Q
  • sarassitham
    Monday, May 3. 2021 11:36 PM
    Each of us is born with a particular set of colors and numbers that are very unique. These numbers reveal our character, purpose, motivation, talents and abilities in this life.

    I had a positive feeling and good action to know the interesting fact of Mewa 6. Thank you for the thoughtful sharing, I am blessed to know my birth Mewa and had the opportunity to encounter the challenges to face and to overcome.

    https://bit.ly/3thT9DE
  • sarassitham
    Friday, Apr 30. 2021 11:09 PM
    Thank you for the informative and historical sharing of The Guangxi Community in Bentong. It’s interesting to know the large Chinese population in the Perting Chinese New Village are Guangxi Chinese.

    A small town famous for its locally produced ginger, durians, tofu puff, bean curd, bean curd puff, fresh vegetables, it has so much more to offer for wandering foodies.

    Success requires hard work, however hard work rewards with much more than success alone. Guangxi people of today are one of the most successful communities in Bentong, producing successful people in every strata of society.

    https://bit.ly/3gQ2JLu
  • Samfoonheei
    Friday, Apr 30. 2021 03:47 PM
    Great Buton Rinchen Drub’s lifestorys truly inspiring, interesting which I simply love reading over and over again. The Great Buton Rinchen Drub was one of the most erudite of scholars of Tibet. To this day he is well remembered as a prodigious scholar and writer and is Tibet’s most celebrated historian. He catalogued thousands of the Buddhist scriptures and wrote the famous book, the History of Buddhism in India and Tibet. Many Tibetan scholars utilize in their study even as today.
    Thank you Rinpoche and Pastor David for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/tibets-great-scholar-buton-rinchen-drub.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Friday, Apr 30. 2021 03:46 PM
    Great memories of Rinpoche meeting with Guru Deva Rinpoche a very learned and qualified Lama,that has changed Rinpoche life. He is considered to be the reincarnation of one of the 84 great Mahasiddhas of ancient India. He studied under many great masters as such like Kyabje Pabongka Rinpoche, Kyabje Yongzin Trijang Dorje Chang, and so forth. We have Tsem Rinpoche today all because of Guru Deva Rinpoche who had contributed towards Rinpoche’s spiritual journey. The journey was tough for Rinpoche , having gone through and had travelled from America to India. Having remained and continued to languish under the terrible conditions in India till he travelled to Nepal and meeting Guru Deva Rinpoche. Everything changed from then on. Interesting read .
    Thank you Rinpoche and Martin Chow for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/my-recollection-of-h-e-guru-deva-rinpoche.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Apr 28. 2021 04:19 PM
    Buton Rinchen Drub is widely considered to be one of Tibet’s greatest scholars, historians, translators,writers and proponent of the Kalachakra Tantra. Even as a very young child, Rinpoche exhibited extraordinary abilities. He studied and received many tantric transmissions and empowerments from many other teachers. Well respected by many and was one of the brightest lights of Tibetan Buddhism. Over the period of his life he composed at least twenty-six prolific volumes of commentaries. His legacy included the compilation of 500 years’ worth of translated teachings into the encyclopedic Kangyur and Tangyur collections. This monumental effort helped to preserve and propagate the teachings throughout Tibet. These collections have become well known by all of the schools of Buddhism in Tibet, and continue to this day. He travelled tremendously throughout Tibet and many places giving teachings, empowerments, transmissions, and ordinations at monasteries along the way. Interesting read of a great Lama.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/buton-rinchen-drub.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Apr 28. 2021 04:09 PM
    Pema Lingpa was a famous saint and siddha of the Nyingma school of Tibetan Buddhism. In the history of the Nyingma school in Bhutan, Pema Lingpa is second only in importance to Padmasambhava himself. Many auspicious miraculous signs appeared when was born as such even as a child he was indeed extraordinary learning everything from reading and writing to ironwork and carpentry without receiving any instruction. Interesting read of the extraordinary enlightened activities , stories and biography of Pema Lingpa . He was highly regarded by all four of the principal schools of Vajrayana Buddhism. Pema Lingpa spent his life revealing the precious treasures of Guru Rinpoche, giving empowerments and teachings. He composed many religious texts and ritual, gave initiations and even established monasteries . He was known as a discoverer of spiritual treasures. He left a legacy establishing a tradition that endures to this day. He prophesied that in the future he would return as the Buddha Dorjé Nyingpo in the pure land of Pemako.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this interesting sharing .

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/great-lamas-masters/pema-lingpa.html
  • Sarassitham
    Tuesday, Apr 27. 2021 04:22 PM
    Thank you for the interesting sharing of discovering the heart desire numbers. Numerology is the belief in the divine or mystical relationship between a number and one or more coinciding events. The heart’s desire is seen as part of the larger picture which includes the life path, expression, date of birth and personality. Each person has different numbers that help them identify who they are and what their purpose in life. Each letters in our name has a message which is hidden and plays a crucial role in our life.

    I think this article will benefits many who are having a very hard time to achieve their dreams and to find out their true passion in their life. I had a good read and happy to discover my heart desire number.

    https://bit.ly/3vm118z
  • Samfoonheei
    Monday, Apr 26. 2021 04:10 PM
    For sarassitham –sorry press wrongly

1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · »

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The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

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According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn\'t this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
1 year ago
According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn't this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden\'s blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
1 year ago
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden's blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
1 year ago
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat\'s doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
1 year ago
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat's doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
1 year ago
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
1 year ago
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
1 year ago
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
It\'s very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it\'s very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
1 year ago
It's very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it's very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
1 year ago
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
1 year ago
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
2 yearss ago
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
2 yearss ago
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
2 yearss ago
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
2 yearss ago
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
2 yearss ago
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
2 yearss ago
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
2 yearss ago
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
2 yearss ago
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat\'s land here in Malaysia
2 yearss ago
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat's land here in Malaysia
Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
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Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
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Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
2 yearss ago
Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
2 yearss ago
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
Sacred Vajra Yogini
2 yearss ago
Sacred Vajra Yogini
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
2 yearss ago
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
2 yearss ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha\'s mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
2 yearss ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha's mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha\'s. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
2 yearss ago
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha's. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
2 yearss ago
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
2 yearss ago
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
This is pretty amazing!

First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
2 yearss ago
This is pretty amazing! First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche

Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
2 yearss ago
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can\'t stop thinking of you and I can\'t forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
2 yearss ago
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can't stop thinking of you and I can't forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
2 yearss ago
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
2 yearss ago
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
2 yearss ago
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
2 yearss ago
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
2 yearss ago
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
2 yearss ago
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
2 yearss ago
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
2 yearss ago
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
DON\'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
2 yearss ago
DON'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
2 yearss ago
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
2 yearss ago
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
2 yearss ago
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
2 yearss ago
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
2 yearss ago
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
2 yearss ago
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
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ASK A PASTOR


Ask the Pastors

A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

Scroll down and click on "View All Questions" to view archived questions.

  • May 14, 2021 01:09
    Anonymous asked: I heard that Lama Tsongkhapa and Tara closer to us? Is it true and how so - because I have experienced instant help from them. Once I was due to go for a college interview and I started getting stomach pains that made me weak and almost unconscious. My mum offered incense to Green Tara and almost immediately the pain went away. Grateful to her and love her to this day.
    No reply yet
  • May 13, 2021 01:48
    Eden asked: Dear pastors 1) I am interested to do some small retreats. Can you guide and teach me? 2) Recently I had adopted a pet. Can you guide me on how to not be to attach to my pet? As i do not want to be too sad when my pet pass away. 3) Recently i find myself wanting to buy new phone, laptops and clothes eventho i do not need them. Can you guide me on how to reduce this urge to buy new things?
    No reply yet
  • May 10, 2021 03:41
    Anonymous asked: When we see similar characteristics in family members and similar life circumstances, is that a result of karma too?
    pastor answered: Hello, When we see similar characteristics between yourself and your family members, yes, ultimately that is due to karma. From the viewpoint of society, it is because we grew up with our family, shared experiences, pick up each others' habits, etc, that is the reason for similar characteristics. We learn things such as behaviours, likes and dislikes from our family and they also learn such things from us. But from the Buddhist viewpoint, what is the reason that we ended up being family anyway? The answer as you already guessed it is karma. Karma is what caused us to take to rebirth into a particular family, hence it is the reason why characteristics are similar between family members. This applies to life circumstances as well, we had the karma to be born into a family in a specific location, at a specific time, environment, etc. Which means that we would necessarily undergo similar circumstances as well. Within samsara, or cyclic existence, everything is due to karma. Everything that happens to us, what we say, what we think. Not only is it due to karma, but it also creates more karma. That is why Buddhists always talk about the faults of samsara. The only way to be free of this cycle and karma completely is to become a fully enlightened Buddha. That is why Buddhists aim to become a Buddha themselves. I hope this helps.
  • May 9, 2021 02:51
    Josh asked: Hello Pastor, when Buddha gave me a gift of able to see spirits, communicate with spirits and able to sense death onto someone, what is the purpose of this gift? How to use it? I believe I had this when I was around 12 years old. 70% of my dreams are mostly took me to hell for a walk, I even talk to Yama, Yama allow me to peek on the Book of the living and the dead.. I had only dream once of Buddha and the Titan God once, but everything in Sanskrit. I understand them only in dreams, and when communicating with spirits. So what is the purpose of this gift? How to use them to help?
    pastor answered: Dear Josh, Thank you for your question. Supernatural abilities such as those you have mentioned definitely do exist. They can come about from a couple of reasons: as gifted by a supernatural being, god, etc, or even simply because we have the karma to have such abilities that have manifested in this life. The other way they can come about is through our own transformation of the mind, where they occur naturally as side effects. In all of these cases, they are known as 'common attainments'. The reason why they are known as common attainments, because they can be attained by anyone. Buddhism however, stresses the importance of the 'supreme attainment', which is achieving the enlightened mind. Hence, in the Buddhist scriptures it is said that the supreme attainment is what we should strive for. Now, we cannot advise you in which ways to use the abilities you have mentioned to help beings, because we are not attained enough to guide you in such a manner. You would need the guidance of a highly attained master to be able to guide you in a safe manner. However, from what you have written, you can use your experiences to further your own spiritual transformation first. H.E. Tsem Rinpoche has advised on many occasions that we should not focus too much on abilities we develop, but concentrate on real transformation first. When you have reached a higher state of consciousness, then you will be able to use such abilities properly. The way to achieve this is to follow the path of the Lamrim or the Graduated Stages on the Path to Enlightenment. The text we use in Kechara is known as Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand. You can get a copy of it here: https://www.vajrasecrets.com/lamrim-liberation-in-the-palm-of-your-hand There are sections of the Lamrim that deal with the suffering of those in the hell realms, the god realms and all other realms. There are also sections that deal with karma. You can use your experience to help you develop insight into these sections and propel you further along the path of transformation. So, instead of trying to use your abilities now, use the experiences that you have already had to the greatest potential. I hope this helps. Thank you.
  • May 8, 2021 02:04
    Anonymous asked: Hello pastors. When one visualises in prayers should one shut eyes completely or keep half open looking at side of noses? Thank you for answering.
    pastor answered: Hello, When engaging in visualisation or any type of meditation, the best is to keep your eyes half open. You are actually looking at the floor, but the line of your sight follows the sides of your nose, you don't actually focus on the sides of your nose. If you focus on the sides of your nose, it will exert too much effort and you will feel like you are going crosseyed. So you actually look at the floor, but follow the angle of the sides of your nose. Following this eye positioning is the best because your mind is not too excited or overly stimulated as it would be if you had your eyes fully open, nor is it prone to laziness or falling asleep if you have your eyes closed. This would be the best. However, some people find it difficult to visualise with their eyes half open. In this case, it is permissible to close your eyes when visualising, as long as you can keep your concentration. Then slowly, over time, once you are familiar with the particular visualisation you are engaged in, you can do it with your eyes half open instead. I hope this helps.
  • May 3, 2021 10:15
    Carolyn asked: what is "Teh"
    pastor answered: Dear Carolyn, My apologies, but I do not fully understand your question. Is this in regards to any prayers or texts? In which case, please indicate which prayer or text so we can answer properly. Thank you
  • May 1, 2021 19:38
    Sandra asked: Respected pastors, What does attachment actually mean in buddhism? Is it opposite of hostility? How do both these emotions harm us? How can we get rid of them?
    pastor answered: Dear Sandra, You have asked a very good question, but it's outside of the scope of this short reply to answer completely. Attachment is when you want something and either your thoughts, speech or actions reflect this want. For example, we can be attached to an object, a type of food, a person, a situation, etc.,. There are varying degrees of the type of attachment you experience towards differing objects or things. When we have an attachment, we expend energy either mentally, emotionally, through our speech or our actions to get the particular object, keep it and protect it. When we are parted from the object, it creates a lot of emotional suffering. When we are attached, our actions and thoughts keep us bound to cyclic existence, because we simply just create more karma. Attachment is known as one of the Three Poisons. You can read a short article and watch a teaching by Pastor David Lai about attachment here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/the-exaggeration-of-attachment.html In addition, here is an article that deals with the benefits of non-attachment in terms of relationships with others: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/why-non-attachment-is-one-of-the-keys-to-a-happy-life-relationship.html The opposite of attachment is aversion, the want to stay away from an object of thing, or not experience a particular situation. Another of the Three Poisons, is actually anger or hostility. This can be the extension of aversion. For example, in past someone said something to you which you didn't like. So you don't want to be around this person again. If a situation occurs when you are around this person, you become angry and hostile. You can even play the scenario over and over again in your head and become angry, even when not near the person. Anger is one of the most destructive of emotions because when you are worked up, it is very hard to remain logical, you simply and quickly act out of emotion, in the heat of the moment. This leads to the creation of negative karma, which you will need experience in the future. In short, all our negative emotions or behaviours can be subsumed under the Three Poisons - Attachment, Anger and Ignorance. There are many methods in Buddhism to overcome these. One of the most basic, yet extremely powerful is to meditate on impermanence, especially death. While this may seem very morbid, it is actually very liberating and helps us to let go of negative emotions which serve no purpose but to keep us stuck in suffering. You can read a short article about meditation on impermanence here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/supreme-contemplation.html For a more in-depth explanation of negative emotions and how to overcome them, you can read the Lamrim texts. These give us a step-by-step guide to self-transformation all the way to enlightenment itself. The text we use in Kechara is called Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand. You can order a copy online from Vajrasecrets (https://www.vajrasecrets.com/lamrim-liberation-in-the-palm-of-your-hand). Alternatively, you can visit your local bookstore and they should be able to order it in for you. I hope this helps. Thank you. PS. You may also find the following links useful:
  • April 28, 2021 19:10
    Eden asked: Dear pastors, recently I saw a video about preserving a dead body only to be revive later when science is more advance. Did Buddha said anything regarding this? I am looking forward for your reply.
    pastor answered: Dear Eden, Thank you for your question. Buddha Shakyamuni did not explicitly talk about this subject, simply because the technology to preserve a body for future re-animation did not exist. In fact, even today, we can physically preserve a body using things like cryogenic freezing, however the technology to be able to revive the person is currently only speculative hope. There is no biological evidence that this would even be possible. That being said, even though the Buddha did not talk about it specifically, the Dharma that the Buddha taught can be applied to any and all situations. So, we can analyze it from multiple angles. I'll try to do so from two angles due to the scope of this answer. The first is that death as part of the law of impermanence is a major part of Buddhism. We have had countless lifetimes and at the end of each of those, we have died and then taken rebirth into a new body. That is why cyclic existence is considered to be suffering, because we consistently take a new life, only to die at the end of it, and then take rebirth in a new life once again. The only way to get out of this cycle is to achieve the state of enlightenment. Some people could argue that if you don't die because you are re-animated in the future, then this cycle doesn't really exist. However, from a Buddhist viewpoint everything is still impermanent. Even if you were re-animated and lived for many thousands, millions, or billions of years, eventually the whole universe as we know it will be destroyed. At that point of time, no matter how many times your physical body was revived, you would cease to exist, because everything will be destroyed. Even from a scientific standpoint, it is said that the universe was created with the Big Bang, and due to that the universe is still expanding at an accelerating rate. Scientists have hypothesized that this will lead to either the Big Rip or the Big Freezer, in which life will no longer be able to exist in the universe in any form. So even from a scientific point of view, the Buddhist law of impermanence still applies. This brings me to the second angle, the question why we would want to preserve our bodies for future re-animation. The answer to that is simple, it is due to attachment. As you may be aware, within Buddhism, attachment is one of the things that leads us to stay stuck within cyclic existence. Attachment leads to the creation of karma which only lengths our suffering in existence. When we focus on our attachments, we do not live in the moment, we do not truly transform into a better person, we help no one and ultimately we do not help ourselves to become enlightened. I hope this helps. If you have any further questions, please do ask. This is an interesting subject.
  • April 24, 2021 03:40
    Sandra asked: Respected pastors, Thank you all for following Rinpoche’s advice and contributing your energy here and at Kechara. Rinpoche is the most precious jewel for sure. We appreciate Rinpoche, Kechara and kecharians. May we all achieve our spiritual goals under the guru’s guidance.
    pastor answered: Dear Sandra, Thank you for your lovely message, it's nice to know that this blog is appreciated. Tsem Rinpoche worked tirelessly to get this resource up and available for everyone. Following Rinpoche's Dharma teachings on this blog, we can definitely progress on our spiritual journeys. The key is to put what Rinpoche taught into practice. I wish your success in your journey, and if you need help, you are more than welcome to ask further questions here. Thank you.
  • April 21, 2021 03:13
    Sandra asked: Respected pastors, When one experiences the outcome of negative karmas, how does one have compassion for oneself and overcome tough times? Relying on buddhas is definitely top of the list but I find my fear and self doubt and bad temper sabotages all the outer dharma practice I do. I am weak in the practical side of applying dharma!
    pastor answered: Dear Sandra, Thank you for your question. What you have expressed is something that a lot of people go through, because of the accumulation of negative karma from previous lifetimes. What you must remember is that our negative habitual patterns from previous lives are very strong, hence effort is needed in the spiritual path. That is why Joyous Effort is one of the Six Perfections. Karma, our habitual patterns, fear and self-doubt will try to knock us of the path of self-transformation at every turn until we are strong enough to withstand them. One way to overcome this is to develop strong faith in the Three Jewels, and the way to do this is to engage in the practice of Taking Refuge. I'm not just talking about Talking Refuge at the beginning of formal Dharma practice such as your sadhana or pujas. But actually Taking Refuge remembering the qualities of the Three Jewels. When I first came to Kechara, I had a lot of physical obstacles manifest, a lot of fear and doubt. H.E. Tsem Rinpoche suggested that I read the section of the Lamrim that talks about Taking Refuge, and explains how to do it properly, remembering the qualities of the Three Jewels and the benefits they grant on the spiritual path. When you practice Taking Refuge, you remember these and you contemplate them. Then your faith in the application of the Dharma increases, and your fear, self-doubt, etc, disappear. When that happens, even if your negative karma and habits try to knock you off the path, you find yourself back on the path. Another thing you must remember is that when we are practicing the Dharma, due to our habits, we will not be perfect at something directly after learning about it. It takes time to train ourselves. That is why the central teaching in the Gelug tradition we practice is called the Lamrim, or the Graded Stages on the Path to Enlightenment. It is step-by-step. It is a process. It is not instant. So you shouldn't let fear, self-doubt, etc get in the way. Instead calmly apply the antidote to these, which is strong refuge. When you develop strong refuge, you will have faith and confidence in the teachings. When you have these, you will practice the teachings, no matter what happens. The compassion for yourself and overcoming tough times comes through faith in the Three Jewels and the teachings of self-transformation. I met someone the other day who said self-transformation was not possible for him, but then why did Buddha Shakyamuni and the enlightened beings teach the Dharma? Of course, it is possible, and in order to progress on the spiritual path, you must have faith and conviction. This comes from the simple, yet foundational practice of Taking Refuge. I hope this helps. Thank you.
  • April 19, 2021 02:53
    Sandra asked: Hello respected pastors, I heard once from here that too much mantra recitations produce wind in the body? Did I hear right? What are the repercussions of that? I do find I cough during mantra recitations these days...I only do about 6 malas though!
    pastor answered: Dear Sandra, Thank you for your question. Mantras are the form of the enlightened beings in sound. Hence, when you recite mantras they are very powerful. All mantras move the psychic winds in the body. They don't actually produce physical wind in the body. The psychic winds move naturally due to the power of the mantras, and only have a beneficial effect on the body. If you are not initiated into the Higher Yoga Tantra practices, any of the common mantras are fine to recite. These include Lama Tsongkhapa's Migtsema, your Guru's mantra, Chenrezig, Tara, Manjushri, etc. These will move the winds in your body naturally, so there will be no untoward side effect. However, mantras of Higher Yoga Tantra deities, such as Yamantaka, Vajra Yogini, Heruka, etc, should only be known and recited by those who have received initiation into the practice and received the commentary to the practice from a qualified guru. These mantras move the psychic winds in the body more forcefully hence can have negative side effects if not done properly. If you are having any negative effects when reciting mantras, such as coughing, that could be due to a number of other more ordinary reasons, such as reciting too loudly or being out of breath when reciting. When you are reciting mantras during your sadhana, you should only recite loud enough for yourself to hear, and not disturb others if they are around. If you are in a puja, you follow the puja lead to either recite out aloud or quietly. If you are getting out of breath, slow down your mantra recitation, or reduce the amount of mantras you are doing until you are used to it. Then you can slowly increase to however many you want to recite. The main issue is consistency, you should recite mantras as part of your sadhana every day. You can also recite extra mantras throughout the day, but the key is to make sure that you finish your daily sadhana. And you should not rush through your mantra recitation, but recite the mantra clearly. I hope this helps.
  • April 13, 2021 21:55
    ray asked: Dear Pastors, Thank you for clearing my doubts previously about purification practices. Today i have a question about reciting praises to buddhas, why do we recite praises and how does reciting praises to buddhas like Tara, Dorje shugden etc. help and benefit us? Because ive seen certain prayer texts to mother tara which i think is referring to the 21 tara praises stating that : ~If this prayer is recited two, three, or seven times, It will pacify all the sufferings of torments Caused by spirits, fevers, and poisons, And by other beings as well. If you wish for a child, you will get a child; If you wish for wealth, you will receive wealth. All your wishes will be fulfilled And all obstacles pacified.~ Will reciting praises to buddhas also be able to fulfill our wishes as stated? Thank you very much.
    pastor answered: Dear Ray, Thank you for your question. As I am sure you are aware, there are many different types of prayers. Praises are one type of prayer, or commonly included in longer prayers. When we praise the enlightened beings, we generate merit. This is due to the power of the enlightened beings. Generally speaking these prayers are praises of the qualities of either the enlightened being's body, speech, mind or benefits derived from their practices. Or the praise can be a combination of these. The merit generated from praising an enlightened being is immense. Some prayers even have the power to grant certain specific benefits due to the merits generated from the praise. Hence, some prayers even have the benefits listed in them. So yes, if you recite the praise with strong faith and refuge in the particular enlightened being, you will generate merit which will help to achieve the benefits stated. On a normal level, you will receive the benefits. On a higher level, you create the merit to achieve the same body, speech, mind and qualities of the enlightened being, meaning you create the causes to be enlightened yourself. I hope this helps.
  • April 12, 2021 03:20
    Eden asked: Dear Pastors, How are all of you doing? I have a few questions here. I will be very grateful if you can answer them. Thank you. 1) If we are here because of our previous life karma, previous previous karma and so on. May i know when does all of this started? How does this chain of karma started? Im sure we all had our 1st life and everything had a beginning to it. 2) I am currently facing some problem over my career pathway, are there any practices and mantras that I can do to request for guidance?
    pastor answered: Dear Eden, Thank you for your questions. 1. Buddhism does not believe in a 1st life, and the reason being is the Buddhist view of time. Most people think of time and existence as linear. It has a definitive starting point and a certain end point. But Buddhism views time as a cyclic. Hence, our universe as we understand it, will at one point cease to exist, and then a new universe will come into existence. However, even though our current universe will end, due to the force of karma and reincarnation, we will take rebirth into the new universe and have many rebirths there. So in Buddhism we say that we have had "countless" rebirths, as you would never be able to count how many lifetimes you have had. This cycle is vicious and leads us to take rebirth endlessly. The only way to stop this cycle is to transcend it altogether, which is the state of Buddhahood, in which you are completely liberated from the cycle, known as "samsara". Also the way in which we think about karma is not linear either. It is not one for one. By this I mean, if you do one negative action, it is not that you will experience only one negative result. You will actually experience many negative results, with differing levels of severity until the karma is exhausted. How you respond to the negative results can lead to either more negative karma, or positive karma. Hence, the law of karma according to the Buddhist view point is much more nuanced then the general understanding of karma that people have these days. The Buddha explained this process in a teaching known as the 12 Links of Dependent Origination, which is quite complex. If you want to learn more about this teaching, H.E. Tsem Rinpoche gave a very profound teaching on it here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/teaching-on-the-twelve-links-of-dependent-origination.html Hence, according to Buddhism, the understand of time is a never-ending cycle in which universes are created, destroyed and created again due to the power of karma. Since it is a cycle, there is no "beginning" or "1st life" for sentient beings. 2. In regards to your career pathway, I would suggest you engage in the combined practice of Lama Tsongkhapa and Dorje Shugden. We have heard of many people who are either stuck in their career or who need to find good jobs, succeed in the their goals after engaging in this practice with a sincere motivation. There is a book available regarding the practice here: https://www.vajrasecrets.com/the-dorje-shugden-handbook. We also have an entire section of this website dedicated to various aspects of the practice, including history, other prayers, etc. (https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/category/dorje-shugden). I hope this helps. Let us know if we can help in any other way.
  • April 11, 2021 00:23
    Lara asked: Hello pastors, I have a family member suffering from depression right now. May I know how I can help him to overcome this? Thank you.
    pastor answered: Dear Lara, I'm sorry to hear that your family member is going through this. When someone is going through such a difficult time, H.E. Tsem Rinpoche has advised that the person themselves seek qualified medical help as well as engage in the practice of Lama Tsongkhapa, which is well-known to help overcome things like depression. From your side you should be as supportive as possible. Take the time to understand what your family member is going through, and in which ways you can support them to overcome their depression and heal. You can watch a fantastic teaching about the practice of Lama Tsongkha here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/sayonara-to-depression.html. The prayer text for the practice can be found here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/sadhana-prayers.html#19 However, sometimes family members may not be open to the engaging in the practice themselves. In that case, you can engage in the practice yourself and dedicate the merits for the family member to heal, but this will not be as effective as the family member doing the practice themselves. Another thing that you can do, it to make abundant offerings or engage in virtuous activities like as helping the less fortunate, and dedicating the merits from those activities to your family member. You can also have pujas sponsored for your family member. The following two pujas would be excellent: Medicine Buddha Puja - which is good for healing, both physical and mental (https://www.vajrasecrets.com/medicine-buddha-puja-fund) Dorje Shugden Puja - to remove obstacles for a swift recovery (https://www.vajrasecrets.com/dorje-shugden-wishfulfilling-puja-fund) These are the various methods in which you can help. You can do just one or a combination of the methods mentioned to generate as much positive energy and merit as possible for your family member. I hope this helps.
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CHAT PICTURES

Pastor Shin winning some mystery gifts for being the 1st person to answer a BONUS question during last Sunday's Blog chat quiz. Blog chat is a fun way to learn the Dharma. To find out more, check out > tsemrinpoche.com/chat. Joy - Moderator
yesterday
Pastor Shin winning some mystery gifts for being the 1st person to answer a BONUS question during last Sunday's Blog chat quiz. Blog chat is a fun way to learn the Dharma. To find out more, check out > tsemrinpoche.com/chat. Joy - Moderator
Here is Pastor Antoinette who won some mystery gifts for being the 2nd person to answer a BONUS question during last Sunday's Blog Chat quiz/discussion. To find out more check out our blog chat section for our weekly topic! Joy - Moderator
yesterday
Here is Pastor Antoinette who won some mystery gifts for being the 2nd person to answer a BONUS question during last Sunday's Blog Chat quiz/discussion. To find out more check out our blog chat section for our weekly topic! Joy - Moderator
#KFBBentong: Ready for some exciting news? We are now at RM154,523.94 - surpassing the funds required for our Pahang food bank operations! Thank you to all who kindly donated, we are deeply moved by your care and generosity towards the less fortunate struggling in our midst. To make our shared goal to continue #helpingthepoor a reality, we are now eagerly looking for suitable premises in Bentong. We will update soon on our progress, so stay tuned! #kecharafoodbank #foodaid #bantuan #kitajagakita #hungerknowsnobarriers #endhunger #charity #ngomalaysia #Pahang - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
1 month ago
#KFBBentong: Ready for some exciting news? We are now at RM154,523.94 - surpassing the funds required for our Pahang food bank operations! Thank you to all who kindly donated, we are deeply moved by your care and generosity towards the less fortunate struggling in our midst. To make our shared goal to continue #helpingthepoor a reality, we are now eagerly looking for suitable premises in Bentong. We will update soon on our progress, so stay tuned! #kecharafoodbank #foodaid #bantuan #kitajagakita #hungerknowsnobarriers #endhunger #charity #ngomalaysia #Pahang - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Fwd: 12 minute Affiliate Multiple Ways to Earn Commissions
1 month ago
Fwd: 12 minute Affiliate Multiple Ways to Earn Commissions
#kecharafoodbank: In collaboration with Good Shepherd Services (GSS) based in Ipoh, we travelled to Buntong with food rations for 33 families. Some of the food items given include rice, noodles, cooking oil and biscuits; in total, we gave 726kg of food to these beneficiaries from the underprivileged class. We are glad to have been able to contribute, especially to families with children and in poor living conditions. We wish to thank GSS for alerting us about those in need, and we look forward to extending more support in the future together with this not-for-profit organization doing good work. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
2 months ago
#kecharafoodbank: In collaboration with Good Shepherd Services (GSS) based in Ipoh, we travelled to Buntong with food rations for 33 families. Some of the food items given include rice, noodles, cooking oil and biscuits; in total, we gave 726kg of food to these beneficiaries from the underprivileged class. We are glad to have been able to contribute, especially to families with children and in poor living conditions. We wish to thank GSS for alerting us about those in need, and we look forward to extending more support in the future together with this not-for-profit organization doing good work. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
In an urgent effort to provide food and necessities to the poverty-stricken in Bentong and rural areas of Pahang, we are launching Food Bank Bentong. With your support, Food Bank Bentong would be able to feed 500 families totaling 2,300 people on a regular basis, giving them a chance to enjoy a basic sense of security we consider a human right. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
2 months ago
In an urgent effort to provide food and necessities to the poverty-stricken in Bentong and rural areas of Pahang, we are launching Food Bank Bentong. With your support, Food Bank Bentong would be able to feed 500 families totaling 2,300 people on a regular basis, giving them a chance to enjoy a basic sense of security we consider a human right. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Kechara Sunday Dharma School Online Teaching Every Sunday Morning 11am class - KSDS Jayce Goh
4 months ago
Kechara Sunday Dharma School Online Teaching Every Sunday Morning 11am class - KSDS Jayce Goh
Re: Kechara Sunday Dharma School Online Teaching Every Sunday Morning 11am class, students attend Pastor Shin Class happily - KSDS Jayce Goh
4 months ago
Re: Kechara Sunday Dharma School Online Teaching Every Sunday Morning 11am class, students attend Pastor Shin Class happily - KSDS Jayce Goh
Update on Empowerment cookies, special holiday packaging. The bakers are most grateful for the overwhelming support of 834 tubs ordered, with a big order of 314 tubs from a group of friends. Thank you to those cookie lovers who couldn’t get enough of it. Watch out for the next update. Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
5 months ago
Update on Empowerment cookies, special holiday packaging. The bakers are most grateful for the overwhelming support of 834 tubs ordered, with a big order of 314 tubs from a group of friends. Thank you to those cookie lovers who couldn’t get enough of it. Watch out for the next update. Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Thank you, generous and kind donors, made possible by Alice Smith School's Official Site through their Build Kindness Campaign. The whooping amount of RM63,000 will provide much needed food to 25 poor families for the next 12 months. On behalf of these families, thank you! Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
5 months ago
Thank you, generous and kind donors, made possible by Alice Smith School's Official Site through their Build Kindness Campaign. The whooping amount of RM63,000 will provide much needed food to 25 poor families for the next 12 months. On behalf of these families, thank you! Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
The global pandemic hasn't been easy for all of us. Some find it diffucult to find a job to support the family. Despite that, we are still delivering basic food pack to our recipients nationwide. Thank you to our volunteers, donors, and sponsors. Without your support, we would be unable to reach out to many families. Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
5 months ago
The global pandemic hasn't been easy for all of us. Some find it diffucult to find a job to support the family. Despite that, we are still delivering basic food pack to our recipients nationwide. Thank you to our volunteers, donors, and sponsors. Without your support, we would be unable to reach out to many families. Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Thanks to Yap Optometry for gifting Robert a new pair of glasses to see better. We wish him many clear and bright days ahead. Thank you to all sponsors. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
6 months ago
Thanks to Yap Optometry for gifting Robert a new pair of glasses to see better. We wish him many clear and bright days ahead. Thank you to all sponsors. - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Donation received to date: RM33,468.00 Yes! We've achieved the target for the #TamanNegara project. Fundraising is closed for this project. Thank you to all donors, 113 Orang Asli families will benefit from it. Stay tuned! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
6 months ago
Donation received to date: RM33,468.00 Yes! We've achieved the target for the #TamanNegara project. Fundraising is closed for this project. Thank you to all donors, 113 Orang Asli families will benefit from it. Stay tuned! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
FRESHLY BAKED by Kechara Empowerment trainees - Chocolate Chip Butter Cookies - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
6 months ago
FRESHLY BAKED by Kechara Empowerment trainees - Chocolate Chip Butter Cookies - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
In memory of Wilson Lee, one of our most dedicated volunteers in Penang. Our heartfelt condolences to Wilson's wife, Tze Ling, family and friends. Our thoughts are with them for their loss. Thank you for your kindness and service to KSK Penang. From all of us in KSK.
6 months ago
In memory of Wilson Lee, one of our most dedicated volunteers in Penang. Our heartfelt condolences to Wilson's wife, Tze Ling, family and friends. Our thoughts are with them for their loss. Thank you for your kindness and service to KSK Penang. From all of us in KSK.
Last weekend a Soup Kitchen activities @ Penang, Johor & Kuala Lumpur. Hot food, water, masks, biscuits, buns & fruits. This is what we give out to our friends living on the streets. Thank you to our sponsor & volunteers that make it happen. Come spread more love by being a volunteer at our activities. WhatsApp us today at 010-333-3260! See you soon! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
7 months ago
Last weekend a Soup Kitchen activities @ Penang, Johor & Kuala Lumpur. Hot food, water, masks, biscuits, buns & fruits. This is what we give out to our friends living on the streets. Thank you to our sponsor & volunteers that make it happen. Come spread more love by being a volunteer at our activities. WhatsApp us today at 010-333-3260! See you soon! #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Fwd: Dear Sotha
8 months ago
Fwd: Dear Sotha
Kechara Earth Project 13/9/2020
8 months ago
Kechara Earth Project 13/9/2020
Thank you Domino's Pizza Malaysia, Kasih & Piza campaign for sponsoring 85 boxes of pizza to our friends who live on the streets. Your flavourful pizzas have put a smile on their faces. Thank you! - Vivan @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #KasihdanPiza #ItsAllAboutYou
8 months ago
Thank you Domino's Pizza Malaysia, Kasih & Piza campaign for sponsoring 85 boxes of pizza to our friends who live on the streets. Your flavourful pizzas have put a smile on their faces. Thank you! - Vivan @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #KasihdanPiza #ItsAllAboutYou
Thank you Novo Nordisk! Your kind monetary donation and 1,320 boxes of masks will benefit many needy families under the Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families  ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #novonordisk #novonordiskmalaysia
9 months ago
Thank you Novo Nordisk! Your kind monetary donation and 1,320 boxes of masks will benefit many needy families under the Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #novonordisk #novonordiskmalaysia
We were graced with the presence of Tengku Zatashah & The Alice Smith School Foundation yesterday. 130 homeless were blessed to be served by them. RM 20,000 donated by Alice Smith School Foundation will benefit 100 families registered under Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #alicesmithschoolfoundation #alicesmithschool #volunteerism #homeless
9 months ago
We were graced with the presence of Tengku Zatashah & The Alice Smith School Foundation yesterday. 130 homeless were blessed to be served by them. RM 20,000 donated by Alice Smith School Foundation will benefit 100 families registered under Kechara Food Bank Program. Thank you! Much love from the needy families ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen #kecharafoodbank #kecharaempowerment #kecharasoupkitchen #alicesmithschoolfoundation #alicesmithschool #volunteerism #homeless
Thanks to the effort of our outstation team, we were able to mobilise food provisions to 600 families living in Kelantan, Penang, Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Johor during the Raya period with each of these families receiving RM200 worth of provisions. Adding onto the current 368 families in Klang Valley, a total of 968 families were benefitted from this. Special thanks to the sponsors who have contributed especially Hong Leong Foundation and partially from Tesco Malaysia (where we also ordered the provisions from). ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
10 months ago
Thanks to the effort of our outstation team, we were able to mobilise food provisions to 600 families living in Kelantan, Penang, Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Johor during the Raya period with each of these families receiving RM200 worth of provisions. Adding onto the current 368 families in Klang Valley, a total of 968 families were benefitted from this. Special thanks to the sponsors who have contributed especially Hong Leong Foundation and partially from Tesco Malaysia (where we also ordered the provisions from). ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
So glad that our soup kitchen operations are back in full swing. Good to see the clients are observing the SOPs. Some of them lost their job during MCO and ended up on the streets. Special thanks to our sponsors and volunteers for the great support! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
11 months ago
So glad that our soup kitchen operations are back in full swing. Good to see the clients are observing the SOPs. Some of them lost their job during MCO and ended up on the streets. Special thanks to our sponsors and volunteers for the great support! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
From serving cooked food to the homeless clients on the streets to mobilising provisions to the needy individuals in PPRs and shelters, we thank everyone of our Johor Bahru team for their kind contributions and effort to make it for the needy despite all the challenges! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
11 months ago
From serving cooked food to the homeless clients on the streets to mobilising provisions to the needy individuals in PPRs and shelters, we thank everyone of our Johor Bahru team for their kind contributions and effort to make it for the needy despite all the challenges! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
More photos taken from our "Hari Raya Hampers" distribution this week. Making sure everyone of our clients have something to be cheerful about. Apart from food, daily used items such as hygiene products, kitchen utensils, assorted fabric items, stationary items and toys were also included into our hamper bags making it extra heavier this month! Food items alone were about 35kg per family! Taking this opportunity to wish everyone of our Muslim volunteers, friends, supporters and clients a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. No doubt this year's celebration will be very different but appreciate everyone is safe and protected from the pandemic. We are in this together and let's work to fight this pandemic together! Thanking all sponsors and donors for the generous support enabling us to continue serve the needy with food, love and care. Big shoutout too to our wonderful team which already depleted by our very own strict SOP. All of you who worked tirelessly behind the s
12 months ago
More photos taken from our "Hari Raya Hampers" distribution this week. Making sure everyone of our clients have something to be cheerful about. Apart from food, daily used items such as hygiene products, kitchen utensils, assorted fabric items, stationary items and toys were also included into our hamper bags making it extra heavier this month! Food items alone were about 35kg per family! Taking this opportunity to wish everyone of our Muslim volunteers, friends, supporters and clients a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. No doubt this year's celebration will be very different but appreciate everyone is safe and protected from the pandemic. We are in this together and let's work to fight this pandemic together! Thanking all sponsors and donors for the generous support enabling us to continue serve the needy with food, love and care. Big shoutout too to our wonderful team which already depleted by our very own strict SOP. All of you who worked tirelessly behind the s
Our team have been working extra hours for the past few weeks to deliver provisions and hamper goodies to the needy families before Hari Raya! Heart warming to see the smiling faces of our recipients upon receiving 3 bags full of food and daily used items. Thanks to everyone of you who have contributed to our foodbank enabling us to give all our recipients (especially those celebrating) a Raya to remember! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
12 months ago
Our team have been working extra hours for the past few weeks to deliver provisions and hamper goodies to the needy families before Hari Raya! Heart warming to see the smiling faces of our recipients upon receiving 3 bags full of food and daily used items. Thanks to everyone of you who have contributed to our foodbank enabling us to give all our recipients (especially those celebrating) a Raya to remember! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Thankful to all donors and those who have been committed in contributing not just money but time over the past testing weeks to help us ease the work of our frontliners and also the livelihood of the needy, their struggles over this pandemic period seemed a little easier to bear with because of your contributions! - Vivian @Kechara Soup Kitchen
12 months ago
Thankful to all donors and those who have been committed in contributing not just money but time over the past testing weeks to help us ease the work of our frontliners and also the livelihood of the needy, their struggles over this pandemic period seemed a little easier to bear with because of your contributions! - Vivian @Kechara Soup Kitchen
KSDS Level 2 virtual class, Lin Mun KSDS
1 years ago
KSDS Level 2 virtual class, Lin Mun KSDS
KSDS Level 3 virtual class. Lin Mun KSDS
1 years ago
KSDS Level 3 virtual class. Lin Mun KSDS
Wesak 2020
1 years ago
Wesak 2020
Recycle today for a better tomorrow. KEP-Serena
1 years ago
Recycle today for a better tomorrow. KEP-Serena
Today we are having recycling at Kechara Soup Kitchen. Do drop by here if you would like to get ride of the recyclable items from home. KEP - Serena
1 years ago
Today we are having recycling at Kechara Soup Kitchen. Do drop by here if you would like to get ride of the recyclable items from home. KEP - Serena
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Seen here is Bam, Vajrayogini’s seed syllable and also Kechara's logo. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
1 years ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Seen here is Bam, Vajrayogini’s seed syllable and also Kechara's logo. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: More melted butter was offered. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
1 years ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: More melted butter was offered. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
H.E. Zawa Rinpoche in deep concentration. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
1 years ago
H.E. Zawa Rinpoche in deep concentration. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Geshela is seen here wearing ceremonial hat called tsoksha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
1 years ago
Geshela is seen here wearing ceremonial hat called tsoksha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
The Shize Fire Puja was performed according to scriptural sources. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
1 years ago
The Shize Fire Puja was performed according to scriptural sources. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
To find out more about the substances offered during jinsek/fire puja, have a read here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
1 years ago
To find out more about the substances offered during jinsek/fire puja, have a read here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
More about the symbolism of the offering items here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
1 years ago
More about the symbolism of the offering items here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Amongst all pujas, the fire puja is considered the king of all Pujas. It is the most powerful of all pujas within Tibetan Buddhism and its purpose is basically to remove all obstacles and its stains to enlightenment.
1 years ago
Amongst all pujas, the fire puja is considered the king of all Pujas. It is the most powerful of all pujas within Tibetan Buddhism and its purpose is basically to remove all obstacles and its stains to enlightenment.
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