Living at home, the real reasons?

Oct 11, 2015 | Views: 2,304

I received another message today that one of my students is very firm on becoming a nun!!! She use to make a lot of excuses for not finding time for dharma, dharma work, volunteering and such.

Although mature, she lives at home and allow her parents the situation to not approve of her spending so much time at the centre. I mean if you live at home, use the facilities, want the convenience of home cooked meals, someone to do your laundry, clean up the place, pay the bills, and basically you have to not worry about bills, of course there’s payback. I mean if your old enough to go live on your own, and you are still at home, it just means VERY CLEARLY that you want everything to be convenient for you. Convenience comes from not wanting to challenge one’s comfort zones. Unless you are home to care for your parents as they are very old or sick, that is different. If you live at home because you want convenience, you will never go higher in many things you do. Because you are stuck on the fundamental attitude of wanting convenience/not taking responsibility for yourself. When that attitude is present, it will pervade everything you do hence be your stumbling block to do much more in time. Do not look at how you are now, but what you can be if you take it one day at a time..try, fail, get up, try and do it again..then succeed..But better to try and fail then do nothing and fail..In trying, you build yourself up for the next challenge..because although you failed your last try, you gain the knowledge on how to do better the next time-that knowledge is an invaluable tool. You will not succeed the minute you are on your own and you will have a lot of anxieties and frustrations, but that is because you are still longing for the conveniences. You have to become independent. If you don’t you will wish to do more, wish to be more and wish you had done more but you didn’t because your fear stopped you. Your fear can only lead to more fear. It does not end with hiding. You can only wish to be more as you watch the world/peers go by and achieve more and you are left behind. Being left behind is a greater fear than challenging yourself to do more when you can right now.

Even financially we suffer eventually. Because when we live at home, we blow our paychecks on self indulgences most of the time because we know our parents will pay for everything… And we end up not learning the responsibilities of paying bills, watching our spending, saving, donating towards dharma (merits), or investing in anything. Most of the time, we use the money for our own fun.  How much do we donate to dharma, charities, or others when we get our paycheck and it’s just for us. We have already portioned off a large part of our next paycheck for fun… if you are doing that, it is a dangerous and frivolous direction because you will end up in a big mess when your parents are not around anymore. Growing up means not having the conveniences of home, yet you are adjusting and you find space in your freedom to explore and grow. The dividend of living on your own is you grow, expand, and learn tools for survival you would have never learned at home.

Yes, if you lived on your own, you would have to pay up more, have less to spend for yourself and maybe sometimes have very little luxury money. But that would make you perform better at work. Make sure you move up. Change your attitude, behaviour, dressing, appearance, performance, speech to impress to be successful. It forces to change yourself for the better. Check out people who live at home although mature, and people who strike out on their own… who in the end achieves more internally and externally. Be honest and check it out.. Nothing better than you needing to really survive to make you change… change yourself to develop the tools by putting your comfort zones behind you and achieving much greater success which ironically will really bring comfort to you… It pushes you in a good way to be all that you can be BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT. Because you have to pay the bills. You have to be determined not to borrow from you parents or use your parents when you move out. Because you don’t want to have at the back of your mind, well if I fail, I can fall back on them. That little thought at the back of the mind can be your biggest obstacle too.  So you have to remove the obstacles to your success. Yes, your parents will miss you and you them, but in the end, parents who have their kids true welfare in mind, will be happy the kids rough it out while they are alive and can watch like mother hens from a distance.  Parents will be happy for you if you make it and learn. Whose parents wouldn’t ? I have come across strange parents (rare) that have other agendas. They wouldn’t be happy because their kids welfare is not the priority… I am sorry to say that, but there are so many types of people in the world. For the most part, parents will be happy you become independent, responsible, self-sustaining and happy with your life.

 

 

Now this student of mine who wishes to be a nun, has turned her situation all around.  Not that she wants to be a nun, but she is gaining independence from her own fears and her very heavily guarded comfort zones… I am so happy for her and anyone who conquers herself. She spends so much quality time at Kechara and really is firm to be a nun. Very excellent. I will send her to Gaden in the future to take vows!! I am so excited to prepare her robes and send her to holy sacred beautiful Gaden to take vows with the old, wonderful, wise monks!!!! I love the old monks… I love them so much. What a blessing to get vows from them. A wonderful way to spend the rest of our lives with sangha vows.

Imagine being one of the sanghas here, to spend your time in dharma, dharma thoughts, dharma actions, dharma environment and nurture others in the dharma. As a nun, if you hold your vows well, you will be more believable if you share dharma with others because you are practicing renounciation. Very powerful when you walk the talk in anything in life.  Leaving home is not to be a nun, but to find yourself and be the best you can. Nunhood or independence should never be an escape also. To give your loving parents a break from raising you already. The reason to leave home is not to be rebellious but to make yourself reach your potential. I am not an example to follow exactly, but I left home at 15 and have been independent since then. I have no regrets now when I look back..but when I was 15, 16, 17, 18 at the time and working to survive on my own in Los Angeles, I WAS SCARED. Very scared. I had my dharma, my protector and me… The best way to watch your children not grow or mature is to take care of everything for them even if they have moved out. That is love, but love can manifest differently.

Sometimes it’s not our parents, but us. We use our parents, situations and other poor me excuses to stay at home because we are afraid to fail. It’s easier to be at home pointing fingers at self made external obstacles to justify not moving ahead because the thought of failure paralyzes us… and we can’t face it, but it’s better to do so. Fear never goes away, it just grows if left in the dark corners of our minds quietly but surely.. In reality, it is the reverse. We don’t want to strike out on our own, because we are afraid of failure, lack of resources and also the taunt of peers if we don’t ‘make’ it. Making it is also a perspective or perception. Again, there are people who are home for genuine reasons, but this write up is not about those reasons that do exist. The bottom line is we look at our age and see what we have achieved… to self-understand what our reasons are for being at home. Sometimes we can be angry at the centre, our peers, our colleagues for challenging us towards independence. We might think it’s undue pressure. But the pressure is not from others, but guilt of being discovered for our real intentions of staying home and the insidious comfort zones we selfishly protect… not trying to make anyone sound dubious here. But some people rather not fail and live in this world of make believe, but you know what, you have already failed if you choose this. In time it becomes glaringly obvious….. because you can’t be 25, 30 or 40 or 50 and still be at home.

Chinese have this culture if you are not married you stay home until you are. But with time, changes in world view, modernity, situations, and needs, cultural practices that were good in the past can be modified for the future. Frankly speaking, there are many people living at home now, and THEY WILL NEVER GET MARRIED, so quit fooling your parents and ultimately yourself… sorry… LOL. There are always exceptions, but we have to be true to ourselves and then we can be true to others.

I am very happy for this student who has come such a long way. From a complaining whiny person who makes so much excuses not to do more with her life because she says her parents don’t allow it. It’s not your parents don’t allow it, it’s that you put yourself in a situation that your parents are so worried about you since you live at home, that their care of you and protection of you becomes like control. A measure of how much you are stuck in your comfort zone is if you are a young adult or adult and if you are still living at home. I am not asking you all to leave and abandon your parents or make you feel guilty about living at home, but to examine the truth of why you are still there. When we are adults, we have to strike out and do what we need to do already. Do not be stuck in your comfort zones for the time being. Because the comfort zones we enjoy now will turn to bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and regrets later when everyone moves ahead and we are still living at home, having our bills paid, and served as if we are still 10 years old.   We can all do more and the first step is to be truly independent where we support ourselves totally. It’s scary, but scarier later if we don’t. I mean no disrespect to anyone nor encourage children-parent rebellion, but this is more a self examination using one example of living at home.

Find yourself. Be with yourself. Fail and then achieve. There’s so much more out there. Find your inner freedom by making a change from the outside as a start. You can achieve. You can do it… why not… failure is only when you don’t try and go all the way… there’s really nothing to lose that you won’t lose anyway if you don’t do it!

Tsem Rinpoche

 

(Originally posted May 2011)

 

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33 Responses to Living at home, the real reasons?

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  1. S.Prathap on Jun 25, 2020 at 1:58 am

    This article more of an advice for us to go all out to do what we want to do then staying in a comfort zone call home sweet home. Well making a change from the outside as a start as advice .
    We love to stay within our comfort zone because it is in our human nature and also we are afraid of unknown.Thank you very much for sharing a such a inspiring article.

  2. Joey Tan on Jul 19, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    what I have learned from this article live independently means live outside of our comfort zone which I believe everyone can do it. It is just the matter of ourselves want to stay in comfort zone or vice versa. Living outside of our comfort zone is not impossible if we know what we want in our life. Staying at home does not challenge us to grow as we are comfortable in our zone. Such an amazing reminder and also thanks Rinpoche for the advices and share with us about Rinpoche’s student whom is firm in becoming a nun.

  3. Stella Cheang on Feb 19, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Thank you, Rinpoche for this advice, which gives depth to what it means by living with parents versus living on our own. The key takeaway is taking responsibility for our own life hence making our own destiny. Camping in our comfort zone for too long will not fuel us to do better or be stronger and more independent. At the end of the day, our attitude determines our actions, and our actions determine our success. Go for it, everyone! You never try, you never know. 🙂

  4. samfoonheei on Aug 13, 2016 at 1:05 pm

    Thanks Rinpoche for sharing this beautiful post and the story of your student moving out of comfort zone to be a nun.It more of an advice for us to go all out to do what we want to do then staying in a comfort zone call home sweet home. Well making a change from the outside as a start as advice . Be with yourself. Fail and then achieve…..I will always remembered Rinpoche’s advice and teachings,
    Thanks again and rejoice to that student of Rinpoche.

  5. Wan Wai Meng on Apr 3, 2016 at 3:27 am

    Thank you to Rinpoche for providing invaluable advice of how to not fool ourselves and challenge our boundaries so we can grow. There is always room for growth.

  6. Chris Chong on Dec 5, 2015 at 1:50 am

    Dear Rinpoche ,

    Thank you for exposing the truth of the nature of staying with parents. Rinpoche always reminded us to come out of our comfort zone and try new things. We love to stay within our comfort zone because it is in our human nature and also we are afraid of unknown. However, we need to remind ourselves that the unknown here does not only have failures, embarrassment, and heartbreaks. It also includes success, new excitement and also new opportunity. Yes, the unknown is scary sometimes but we do have to go for the leap of faith sometimes and who knows we could have made the best decision in our life. Besides, only when we come out of our comfort zone, we will grow and transform ourselves.

    Chris

  7. Jacinta Goh on Oct 12, 2015 at 2:33 am

    Rinpoche,
    This article is the reflection of my past and current situation as well. I’ve always thought that I am very fortunate that I can have most of the thing that I’ve wanted. I do not have to worry for many things as well. Everything is being taken care of. But since learning about Buddhism, it changes my perspective and most importantly my view towards life. I am still struggling but am gaining some independence on my own. I am learning to drive and my life has since been purposeful when I included Dharma.I also know a bunch of Dharma friend both in Penang and KL who accompany me along this path. Although there are many things that I do not know (yes, i am being laughed at )but slowly and surely am learning up. For this, I have to thank Rinpoche for guiding me in my path. Dharma gives me strength to move on.

  8. sandra on Feb 26, 2015 at 12:24 am

    OMG this teaching exposes all the nitty gritty issues of adults who stay at their parents’. Now I understand why in the western world there is a huge push for kids to ‘grow up’ at 18 and take adult responsibilities. In fat young teens look forward to he day they turn 18 and take life in their own hands. It does have positives and negatives because while most 18 year olds aren’t fully mature and stable in their minds, I guess the sooner they learn about the ways of the world, the better it is for them and people around them. Now, this take on upbringing is quite a contrast to the Eastern style of upbringing especially for girls where one is expected to not be so ‘exposed’ although this is a very narrow view. Not every Asian parent has that style I guess. Anyway I have the hard copy of this teaching to learn it’s core meaning. So, congrats to the person in the article who was taking charge of their life.

  9. Joy on Feb 27, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    Honestly I have always thought living on my own is pretty cool and was looking so forward to it after my SPM or after 16 years old… perhaps this is because my parents passed away when I was in my early teens.

    However I found this advice from Rinpoche “Gaining independence from our own fears and our very heavily guarded comfort zones…” is so uplifting in so many aspects… and I suppose to most Asians living at home is a “comfort zone” but for the west it is quite a norm and expected. Comfort zones does just manifest in who we are living with, it is about us not willing or wanting to break away from something we are used to even though it brings us nowhere and in fact something an obstacle to our growth. Living with our parents is just another manifestation of this comfort zones and well it is even more interesting to know that parents not knowing better encourages this in due to their attachments to their kids. It is also not good cos some kids will always rely and depend on their parents to solve their problems and never take any real responsibility.

    Well I am happy to read that finally after many year this wanna be nun student of Rinpoche is now able to challenge her comfort zones to grow and become better. Why better? Because she will become independent, stronger and instead of creating obstacles to her practice, she will gain so much more in return for her and her family and inspire others!

  10. Wendy Ho on May 31, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Reading this article brings back memories of how resistant I was in moving out of my parents’ house into a Dharma house a few years ago. I did it anyways because Rinpoche wanted me to although the move made no sense to me at all at that time. I somehow trusted and respected Rinpoche enough to do that despite my fears and discomfort.

    I was very comfortable at home. There was always home cooked food on the table, the maid did the housekeeping and helped with my laundry. On top of that I did not have to pay rental and could enjoy all the facilities at home. Moving out means extra expenses and inconveniences. Plus the Dharma house I was moving into was only 15 minutes drive from my parents’ house. My parents could not understand why either and was not too pleased with my decision.

    For the longest time I could not come to terms with it. I missed the conveniences at home and the company of my family very much.

    However, now that I look back, it was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I realized how spoilt, dependent, lazy, indiscipline, irresponsible and with no fighting and survival instincts I was because I had it so easy and it was not serving me or anybody around me at all. Although my parents had the best intention, I must say they were not the wisest in this aspect.

    As a result, many times I fell flat on my face when encountering challenges. Moving out made me realise that there was so much I had to change in myself. I suffered a lot realising how much I have failed people around me and myself and how I must improve to be a more discipline, responsible, caring, independent and beneficial adult and not a selfish spoilt brat who was completely self indulgence and of no benefit to anyone. I also began to appreciate my family and friends more and realise how kind they have been to me although I had done nothing much for them. I realised how important it is to take charge of my own life and be independent.

    Although I have not completely reformed yet, at least I am now on the path towards that direction. Looking back, I know now that Rinpoche made me make that decision because he loves me and cares for me and wants me to grow to be a better person. I will forever be grateful. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU Rinpoche.

  11. mima on May 14, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Thank you for this wonderful blog, Rinpoche.
    Thank you from the deepest of my heart, thank you for all your work and presence with us to help us to do our dharma work, to help us to live a life of dharma, a life of service and compassion. Everything you do is affecting us deeply right to our being. You know how to communicate to us, you know what are our problems and difficulties and you are always so generous with your time ready to answer to us and to give us advices and help. I am for ever deeply grateful to have had the chance to meet you on the internet, to know you and be able to practice with your guidance from the video, from your blogs, websites and more….Thank you to all your devoted teams for giving us so much.
    I love you all very very very much!

  12. Naomi on May 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    This post strongly reflects upon my life and I couldn’t agree more of what you’ve said.

    Years ago, when I left home to study abroad, I suffered tremendously because life is much more challenging and I was reluctant to grow. I wanted to go home so badly because I feel insecure with everything and even don’t know how to take care of myself with the most basic self care- eating, cleaning, etc.
    My life was a mess because I was so out of my comfort zone.
    I called my parents and wanted to give up. My family was upset because I wasted some time of my life being stubborn about this.

    Then, my mind started to wonder around, thinking if someone/ some kind of place could control me or make me become discipline, then my life would go back to normal.
    I even thought of becoming a nun living in a temple with strict rules would change my life. Ended up, that thought got rejected by myfamily. Now when I think back of this, I think my mindset was so wrong because I realized that even if i live at the most sacred temple to live there, my mind will still wonder. Environment can only change a person into some degree but it is up to that person to cultivate self-control/discipline. And you’re right, becoming a nun/monk should not be a way to escape life.

    The funny thing is, when my life went back on track, my parents are upset because I am now fully independent and taking care of myself abroad. They told me that they regret of sending me abroad because their kids never come back to live with them and share their financial burden. I tried to explain to them about my situation and my future. Eventhough as kids, it is our responsibility to take care of them when they’re old. But my parents are not that old, but they already have huge fear of being lonely and abandoned by their kids.
    Eventhough living abroad without family support could be difficult, but it is fullfilling because it makes us tougher and better person of who we are.
    I like your phrase ” fail,get up and try again” becausee all of us are constantly experiencing this phase.

    Sincerely thank you Rinpoche! I appreciate your teachings.

  13. SHY on May 4, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Buddha Sakyamuni left his family searching for answers and finally gain enlightenment.

    May us know your view about a Husband or Wife in modern world wanted to be a sangha or nun. what shall he or she prepare him/herself, kids, parents, business…. before looking for ordination?

    thanks

  14. Lim Han Nee on May 4, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Dear Rinpoche,
    This most inspiring and meaningful post comes at a time when I need
    it most. I rejoice, from my heart, for the lady who has requested to become a nun, thus giving us a fine example of true complete renunciation, a rare thing in modern times.

    I’d always been thinking that it’s too late for me to renounce home and (of course I see now)all the comforts that home has. I’d been thinking that I would just pray and make aspirations that in my next life, I would be born with all the favorable conditions to renounce and become a monastic from young.

    But this (and a couple of other ‘messages’ that Rinpoche has been sending me in recent times) makes me realize that I have to create the causes for that to happen in my next life. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone and begin letting go of fears and worries about my increasingly poor eyesight, poor computer skills,etc and just plunge in. Even though now I take a couple of hours to do even a simple task on the computer, I must continue on. It’s all about creating the causes.I must also learn to multi-task too, from looking after a recently adopted stray baby cat, to mastering computer skills, to mastering Pujas in Tibetan, maybe taking on an English class for adults in KH(if I can find someone to teach me how to conduct such a class).

    Thank you again, Rinpoche, from the depths of my heart for being so kind and patient with me and my stubborn and close mind.

  15. benji on May 4, 2011 at 6:27 am

    i had always thought that to become a monk/nun was heroic!

  16. Su Ming on May 4, 2011 at 3:07 am

    10 years ago when I first moved out from my mom’s house it was because I wanted freedom.

    After knowing dharma my reasons has deepen a bit more as stated in Rinpoche’s article above.

    Also I know it will benefit my dearest mom from “detaching” herself from me. Afterall, my mom is old and the years ahead should be for herself and not for us anymore. I’m indeed very lucky to have her in dharma. Not only will it benefit her now but most importantly her future life. That would be the best gift ever any child can give.

  17. Sandy on May 4, 2011 at 2:24 am

    Dear Rinpoche,

    This post hits the nail on the head, definitely, and as you also mentioned, there are exceptions (it wouldn’t be fair to suggest that in all cases, people are simply lazy/fearful – there can be practical and valid reasons for living at home also).

    I can relate to a lot of this, particularly because I hate major change. It may sound ironic, but though I can handle a lot of difficult situations with relative acceptance and adapt to them (like illnesses, deaths, losing contact etc), the thought of, say, moving to a large city or abroad is a huge no-no (but also, paradoxically, a desire of mine). I keep pushing myself to sign up to a TEFL course (Teaching English abroad), but so far I can still find the most intricate of excuses within myself. I have no excuse in reality, so I shan’t try to give any here. I suppose, like a lot of folks, I sometimes expect the result without the effort. I can do anything, so long as I don’t have to risk anything in achieving it…

    However, in addition to your post, I will say that I have a few friends who do live “on their own”, but still rely heavily on their parents. They have their flats and their “independent lives”, but in reality, it’s the parents who are making it happen and if there’s ever any need for financial help, it’s always there. It’s a bungee-independence: always something there to pull you back when you fall too far.

    Of course, one can go down the philosophical road and say none of us are ever truly independent (you didn’t make the laptop on which you wrote this post, grow the food you eat and so on…), but that kind of argument is rarely nothing more than intellectual cowardice – it doesn’t wash.

    I think if there is one excuse to be made, it might be that, if someone is always used to having things done on their behalf, it might be a little tricky for that person to realise exactly how to be independent. It’s real easy for people who are (properly) independent to say there’s nothing much to it, but that’s because they’re used to having that mind set; I think there’s always the danger of viewing the situation of others from our own perspectives – that rarely leads to any helpful advice being given, or any resolution being found.

    But nevertheless, I had expected to find lots to disagree with here (on first sight), but I have to say, in my opinion, it seems extremely dangerous to rely on convenience. One day it has to run out, and if one doesn’t have the skills or know-how to deal with life minus the safety net, the actual reality could infact prove infinitely more fearful than the reality projected by irrational fears of independence in the first place.

    Kind regards,
    Sandy

  18. Shirley Maya Tan on May 4, 2011 at 2:16 am

    Fear has its way of disguising many good things into bad and taking us away from where we are supposed to be. After all, the opposite side of fear is courage. If we had the courage, then there is no contest or hesitation, we will our best to progress and move onto a higher level.

    I didn’t use to think that being closeted in one’s comfort zones was a bad thing. I used to think that it was the final goal – what we all strived for in the life. To be surrounded by things of comfort and luxury. And to be taken care. Naturally, I was blind to the payback. The other side of being pampered, fed and taken care of. This could only occur when I don’t do anything constructive and just wait to be “served”.

    I keep reading this post over and over again. It struck how society has built this ‘ultimate dream’ of having a certain lifestyle that includes the marriage, kids, house and cars. But how real is this dream? How real is this lifestyle?

    Personally, I cannot think of a higher way to repay the kindness of our parents and everyone who has helped us than being ordained. I think it is the highest return of kindness in action that one commits for the rest of one’s life. That is truly beautiful and immensely beneficial – to the those we love and to ourselves.

    To be able to come to this decision of ordination, one has really decided to give over one’s life to returning all the kindness one has received – not just in this life but also, in all past and future lives. In my humble opinion, it is the most responsible decision a person can make.

    May I have the good fortune to turn my life around completely – not just for this life, but for all lives.

    I love this post. Thank you so much, Rinpoche.

  19. Koh Hee Peng on May 4, 2011 at 12:47 am

    I hope that in this life time I would be ordained and be a monk and live in a monastry and focus on dharma 100% and to benefit others with whatever knowledge and wisdom I have gained from the teachings received in the monastry.

    That is the best gift that I can repay for all the kindness that I have received througout my life from many people/beings that I have met in my life.

  20. Martin Chow on May 3, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    This is indeed a good story and and very encouraging one. This story applies even to those who have not lived at home with the parents for a quite some time. Essentially the elements herein apply to a number of other scenarios.

    Fear of the unknown is always a ready stumbling block and we tend to stick to “what we know” and keep repeating the way we do things and hardly check why we are doing it, if it is worth doing it, and if there is a better way of doing it, and even if there is something better that we should be applying ourselves to.

    Failure has many precious lessons to teach provided we apply the correct attitude to failure, and not run away from it and deny it. I have come to realise that failure might very well be the road block we need to re-examine how we have been living our lives and make the necessary adjustments.

    Failure clears a lot of distractions. Often Success blinds us from our true potential.

  21. KH Ng on May 3, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    I rejoice for this person because she have make the right decision and also because His Eminence has decided to allow her to do it. It shows that she has the sincerity and the Guru sees it. As always H.E.has a lesson for us all in this and a very good lesson. I hope all of us read this well and understand the logic in this..of leaving home. I think it is about being responsible for ourselves.
    With folded hands!!

  22. Sarah on May 3, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Wow! such a good news that someone has decided to be a nun! I’m very happy to hear such news.

    Thank you for this wonderful message. It got me thinking, and everything said here is so true. I belong to one of those chinese family that ‘don’t move out until they get married’ which would mean never for me.

    Every time i go home, it feels like i’m returning to a hotel… everything is there… not that i don’t appreciate a convenient lifestyle but other factors start to sink into my life. I love my parents very much, but i also know they are too used to my presence at home that they become unsettled if i go out or come home late… even if it’s for volunteering in Kechara.

    I guess i should be less selfish and move out after graduation so that my parents can at least have some peace of mind…

    One question… is the ultimate goal of doing dharma work as a lay person to eventually be a monk/nun?
    If yes, how does one know it’s the right time?

  23. David Lai on May 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    Thank you for this wonderful news of this student wanting to become a nun and message. It was not easy and it is still not easy living on my own and all the expenses incurred. However, I am glad and I would never go home to live with my parents (unless to take care of them). I enjoy the freedom and I do see myself maturing although not necessarily fast enough but I am sure much more than if I were to stay at home.

    I can’t imagine what kind of person I would be if I were to keep ‘taking’ from my parents by staying at home and they would just take care of the bills, food, laundry and emotional dependence. I know so many of ex-classmates and friends who are still staying at home and the amazing dependence they have on their parents although they already 30! ]

    • Pastor David Lai on Oct 12, 2015 at 9:49 pm

      I am having another look at this post and I am amazed myself because it speaks to me just as it had when I first read it 4 years ago. However, I would like to add that Malaysian or rather Asian culture allows for many youths to stay at home and live off their parents till they get married. In the West, you turn 18 and you are out on your own. In Asia, it is when you get married and that can vary between 18 to 40 years old. Getting married is considered the threshold of adulthood because one would have to start a family. Different norms for different cultures. However, one still cannot deny the empowering feeling of freedom and of learning to live on one’s own terms.

  24. Josh Akers on May 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    I wanna be a mountain climber in Oregon… I want to have my own cabin. I want a jet-ski… I want to devote my life to the Dharma. Definitely time to strike it out on my own!!!

  25. SJ on May 3, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    Any advice to someone who has been constantly throwing herself out of all sorts of comfort zones via making changes from the outside and still have difficulty finding inner freedom and be with herself? So much so that eventually have a lot of difficulties crawling out of the dark hole of a clinical depression? Over independent, may be? And lack the ability in seeking help?

    • samantha on May 5, 2011 at 9:55 am

      getting out of comfort zone is something which not many plp are willing to do..she should give herself a pat on the back.

      all these efforts will eventually drain her out if she does not have a clear purpose.It’s like keeping swinging a racket without a focus and hope that you will hit the ball before you “paste” yrself to the floor.:)

      Get her to definate HER terms of inner freedom..what would it like?
      From there look at the options available to achieve it..

    • joey wong on May 6, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      Hi SJ,

      Perhaps she isnt trying to break her comfort zones but merely running away from herself and her surroundings?

      • SJ on May 7, 2011 at 8:29 pm

        Dear Samantha & Joey,
        This dear friend is certainly terribly good in getting out of comfort zones and hoping she’d bump into something inspiring enough and open up a brand new perspective and begin meaningful healing process. Unfortunately, may be Sam was right, it’s also like swinging a racket blindly. Even more unfortunate is, very often, people who are clinically depressed finds it hard to determine “meanings” in many things, including definition for “inner freedom”. I suppose it’s like spinning endlessly inside a dark hole and couldn’t figure out way out. I so hope I can help. But human mind is so unassuming in many levels…

  26. joey wong on May 3, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    Dear Rinpoche,

    thank you so much for being so kind to explain the reasons to be independent. It is very mind-blowing and compelling for me to do so.

    I am still searching for a suitable place to stay at the moment and will be moving out once i find it.

    Thank you again so much for giving me the extra boost to break past my silly fears.

  27. Liz Messerschmied on May 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Dear Tsem, i really rejoice ur writing – although at the outside we might be so “different”, i feel very strong connection with u and ur messages. All the best to u and the woman who`ll become a nun and others! Liz

  28. Terri on May 3, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I am happy for your friend who wants to be a nun too. For many years I sincerely wanted to ordain too, and I have a hard time to read this because it is impossible for me. I work hard too, I had all kinds of material things and I gave them away over and over again when I thought I would have an opportunity to ordain, but it ended up quite disastrous. Still I had adventures. I went on alms round in Thailand and practiced Vipassana there. I learned new languages. But sometimes it was so awful and I made so many enemies, and I had to live in homeless shelters and was almost sexually assaulted several times. It was so scary, I am getting older now so I don’t think I could try again. I live in my own small apartment and I work all the time trying to make a good life for myself, but I feel like I was doing a lot more for the world when I was going to pray at the temple and studying dharma. Even though I have all the material things back that I gave away its like I don’t really have time to meditate anymore. I just have time to listen to dharma but if I try to practice all I think about is bills I have to pay. So it is sad. I left home at 16 also because I was in a very unstable home. It is hard work right now to have a lifestyle like before I went to the monastery because the economy in the US is awful. And it’s not going to get better. People see me now and think I am so much better off since I gave up hopes for ordination, but I don’t see it that way. I feel very much like I have crawled under a rock and that I am just waiting for the day I kick it.

  29. Steve Tobias on May 3, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    I rejoice that this person has decided to become a nun. I will work to follow her example and this well-written message. The sangha inspires all practitioners not just his/her self.

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Blog Chat

BLOG CHAT

Dear blog friends,

I’ve created this section for all of you to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings about whatever interests you.

Everyone has a different perspective, so this section is for you.

Tsem Rinpoche


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Give the room a chance to answer you. Patience is a virtue. And if after awhile, people don't respond, perhaps they don't know the answer or they did not see your question. Do ask again or address someone directly. Do not be offended if people do not or are unable to respond to you.

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The Kechara Forest Retreat is a unique holistic retreat centre focused on the total wellness of body, mind and spirit. This is a place where families and individuals will find peace, nourishment and inspiration in a natural forest environment. At Kechara Forest Retreat, we are committed to give back to society through instilling the next generation with universal positive values such as kindness and compassion.

For more information, please read here (english), here (chinese), or the official site: retreat.kechara.com.

Noticeboard

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  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Jul 9. 2020 04:41 PM
    Heart breaking after watching the video. Its really sad watching those animals including bludgeoning, neck-breaking while many are skinned alive. The way they were killed just for their fur is horrible inhumane practices. In fact those animals are confined to relatively small wire cages with little enrichment. Millions of fur-bearing animals are killed every year by trappers worldwide. For many of us, wearing fur is simply cruel, and to be avoided at all costs. China is the largest importer of fur pelts in the world and the largest exporter of finished fur products. Glad that campaign groups such as PETA have long highlighted the cruelty of such farms. Fur farming is now banned in a number of countries such as Austria, Croatia, the United Kingdom and so forth. Not only causing the suffering and deaths of millions of animals each year, the production of wool, fur, and leather contributes to climate change, land devastation, pollution, and even water contamination. Hopefully the fur industry can work together with farms with better regulations.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing to bring awareness of the cruelty of animal at fur farm.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/animals-vegetarianism/animal-cruelty-in-china.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Thursday, Jul 9. 2020 04:39 PM
    Beautiful Jog Fall located at southern state of Karnataka is India’s highest waterfall. It is a segmented waterfall which depends on rain and season becomes a plunge waterfall. Its one of the power where our Lama H E the 25th Tsem Rinpoche had visited years ago. From the beautiful pictures of Jog Fall can tells us more. Looks peaceful to do prayers, recitation , meditation, retreat as encouraged by our Lama when visiting holy place. When there is stupa we can also do circumambulations, offerings and more. Doing prayers at all these power holy places would be wonderful. There are many places as mentioned by Rinpoche do have powerful positive energy. It’s those place where great masters have visited , varies prayers done, meditation ,and retreats. All these holy places such as Lumbini, Bodhgaya, Sarnath-Varanasi and Kushinagara, Tsongkapa’s birthplace and many more all over the world is infused with the powerful energy of beings. A good article to read and great knowledge of some of the power place and go on pilgrimage.
    We are fortunate to have Rinpoche here in Malaysia where Kechara Forest Retreat was conceptualized ….a holy place infused with powerful energy. It has indeed benefited many and many more to come.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this sharing with folded hands.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/me/power-place-jog-falls.html
  • S.Prathap
    Thursday, Jul 9. 2020 04:26 PM
    A very unusual friendship which I have not heard of. ‘ Incredible true story of Pocho. a injured crocodile was found on the bank of the Parasmina River in Costa Rica after being shot by a farmer.
    Even an animal as large and carnivorous can be gentle and loving. All animals deserve the chance to live.Thank you very much for the good article.

    https://bit.ly/3iIJDW8
  • sarassitham
    Wednesday, Jul 8. 2020 10:56 PM
    Most people think animal cruelty is mainly people being unkind to animals. Based on the article million innocent animals were tortured and killed for their fur or skin off their backs. The fur industry is such a cruel heartless business that is bad for the environment and unnecessary.

    It’s horrendous, I can’t believe that fur from China has so much demand. Shock to see the industries cheapest and cruelest methods used in killing the animals. All the animals are victims of cruelty spent their whole lives restricted to filthy, cramped wire cages. This has to come to an end.

    The industry will continue to grow wild if there is no restriction. The success of any business depends upon how they are creating the demand for a product in the target market and then, how they are managing the supplies to fulfill that demand.
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Jul 8. 2020 02:54 PM
    Attitudes toward minorities have been marked by discrimination historically almost everywhere. In the United States’s history many forms of discrimination had been happening in U.S. Population growth and cultural has change throughout much of the U.S. Americans enjoyed legally sanctioned privileges and rights which were denied to other races and minorities. All these should happened just because of their religion, spirituality, race, economic background. Anyway it did happened in USA, as Rinpoche did experienced before where discrimination and there are people who are segregated because of their religious faith.
    In happened in the Dorje Shugden’s controversy as well all because of their faith which has affected hundred thousands of Tibetan communities . Even to this day the discrimination still continue with the Tibetan Leadership interference politics with religion.
    History has a tendency to repeat itself and those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it. Hopefully it will not be repeated for peace and harmony .
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/current-affairs/this-happened-in-the-usa.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Wednesday, Jul 8. 2020 02:52 PM
    Beautiful rare and precious ancient thangkas . We are fortunate to have such an opportunity to see all the rare thangkas of Dorje Shugden , Sakya Pandita Kunga Gyaltsen, Five Foremost Deities – Mo Lha and so forth. They are all centuries old thangkas . Incredible all are private collections as well as from Rubin Museum of Art which been printed centuries ago. Merely by looking at it is a blessing and paints a thousand words.All these rare centuries thangkas has proven that the Tibetan Leadership is wrong in their judgements of the Dorje Shugden origin. It is visual proof that Dorje Shugden was practised by the other Tibetan Buddhist traditions as well and is not evil spirits.
    Thank you Rinpoche for this wonderful sharing.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/downloads/beautiful-ancient-thangkas-to-share-with-you.html
  • S.Prathap
    Wednesday, Jul 8. 2020 12:33 PM
    She was was revered as one of the last century’s best known woman teachers and most influential women in Tibetan spiritual history.Many extraordinary stories are told of her remarkable abilities, she was an extraordinary woman.
    It is inspiring to read how much she had to endure from childhood and later under her lama but she never broke down, felt sorry for herself or got angry.Thank you for sharing this wonderful article.

    https://bit.ly/3e8Zbz1
  • S.Prathap
    Wednesday, Jul 8. 2020 12:40 AM
    Happy to Mr. Chen and his wife, for his devotions and great care towards Guru. His good and excellent qualities are an example I wish to follows.All the flowers and plants that you have planted look so good in the pictures.
    These are the results of your care and hard work that you have put in.Mr. Chen sets a good example for us all to learn. Thank you very much for the sharing
  • sarassitham
    Tuesday, Jul 7. 2020 11:20 PM
    What has got into them..Such an inhuman behavior. I got no heart to see all those pictures, had to scroll down as I couldn’t bear seeing this cruelty on poor animals. I have seen people watching slime videos for satisfaction, this is the first time seeing this. This has to end very soon !
    Thank you Rinpoche

    https://bit.ly/31Ut2c8
  • Samfoonheei
    Tuesday, Jul 7. 2020 01:35 PM
    nspiration worthy words compiled by Tsem Rinpoche. All the quotes are meaningful for us to ponder. Simple quotes yet very meaningful. Buddha ‘s words is a teaching , we should listen and put into action will lead us to mind transformation and happiness.
    Thank you Rinpoche with folded hands.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/and-buddha-spoke-you-should-listen.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Tuesday, Jul 7. 2020 01:33 PM
    Buddhism has a long history in Indonesia, and is recognized as one of six official religions. Numerous stupa, statues , inscriptions from the earlier history of Indonesian has suggested c Buddhism came to Indonesia a few hundred years after Hinduism. Buddhism is the second oldest religion in Indonesia, after Hinduism recording to history. Temples been built since then which still exist and came under the world heritage site. Borobudur,is one of them which is a 9th-century Mahayana Buddhist temple, in Central Java, Indonesia. The magnificent Borobudur temple is the world’s biggest Buddhist monument, an ancient site widely considered to be one of the world’s seven wonders and a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Amazing just in the Borobudur itself there were over 500 Buddha statues . I have been to there yet , wish I could. Heard from friends the beauty of it, a peaceful place good for meditation and do prayers . Buddhism in Indonesia has an interesting history behind it. The Srivijaya Kingdom and its kings were influential factors in the spreading of Buddhism then. Interesting read.
    Thank you Rinpoche and Valencia sharing this interesting article.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/art-architecture/the-buddhist-kingdoms-of-indonesia.html
  • Samfoonheei
    Tuesday, Jul 7. 2020 01:32 PM
    Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness when we put into action. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in our soul. Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. Learn to be thankful for what we already have. Once we begin to take note of the things we are grateful for, we begin to lose sight of the things that we lack. Once expressed, it changes our attitude, brightens outlook, and broadens our perspective. When we express gratitude it improves our self-esteem and enhances empathy.
    Thank you Rinpoche with folded hands for this great teachings which I deeply appreciate.

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/gratitude-makes-us-happier.html
  • sarassitham
    Monday, Jul 6. 2020 05:34 PM
    Great teachers are rare. It is a privilege and special opportunity when we have a great one. They are able to take a variety of styles and mold them into their own unique style to meet the needs of the students.

    The purpose of a teaching is to teach us to put into practice and learning from there to improve by keeping the end in mind. The spirit of the instructions is meant to benefit and nurture the student along the spiritual path. Thank you for the sharing
  • S.Prathap
    Monday, Jul 6. 2020 04:32 PM
    It is very touching when organizations are set up solely for the benefit of animals. I salute the World Federation for the Protection of Animals (WFPA) for creating a movement on a global scale to protect and care for animals whilst educating humans on human.

    This organization is around the globe and their mission is to build a global animal welfare movement.They are really doing a fantastic work.Thank you very much for sharing this article with us.


    https://bit.ly/2YZlJOm

  • Samfoonheei
    Monday, Jul 6. 2020 01:51 PM
    Great sharing of a great master Tulku Drakpa Gyeltsen , who has reincarnated lifetime after lifetime so as to benefit all beings . A beautiful praise of Tulku Drakpa Gyeltsen. We are fortunate to have H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche here in Malaysia , guiding, giving all the teachings and powerful practice such as Dorje Shugden’s practice sharing with us. Dorje Shugden reincarnated as a Dharma Protector in order to benefit all. He arose from a long line of incarnations.
    Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this short biography .

    https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/golden-undefeated-lama-of-blessings.html

1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · »

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The Unknown

The Known and unknown are both feared,
Known is being comfortable and stagnant,
The unknown may be growth and opportunities,
One shall never know if one fears the unknown more than the known.
Who says the unknown would be worse than the known?
But then again, the unknown is sometimes worse than the known. In the end nothing is known unless we endeavour,
So go pursue all the way with the unknown,
because all unknown with familiarity becomes the known.
~Tsem Rinpoche

Photos On The Go

Click on the images to view the bigger version. And scroll down and click on "View All Photos" to view more images.
According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn\'t this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
5 months ago
According to legend, Shambhala is a place where wisdom and love reign, and there is no crime. Doesn't this sound like the kind of place all of us would love to live in? https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=204874
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden\'s blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
5 months ago
108 candles and sang (incense) offered at our Wish-Fulfilling Grotto, invoking Dorje Shugden's blessings for friends, sponsors and supporters, wonderful!
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
5 months ago
Dharmapalas are not exclusive to Tibetan culture and their practice is widespread throughout the Buddhist world - https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/?p=193645
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat\'s doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
6 months ago
One of our adorable Kechara Forest Retreat's doggies, Tara, happy and safe, and enjoying herself in front of Wisdom Hall which has been decorated for Chinese New Year
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
6 months ago
Fragrant organic Thai basil harvested from our very own Kechara Forest Retreat farm!
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
6 months ago
On behalf of our Puja House team, Pastor Tat Ming receives food and drinks from Rinpoche. Rinpoche wanted to make sure the hardworking Puja House team are always taken care of.
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
6 months ago
By the time I heard about Luang Phor Thong, he was already very old, in his late 80s. When I heard about him, I immediately wanted to go and pay my respects to him. - http://bit.ly/LuangPhorThong
It\'s very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it\'s very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
6 months ago
It's very nice to see volunteers helping maintain holy sites in Kechara Forest Retreat, it's very good for them. Cleaning Buddha statues is a very powerful and effective way of purifying body karma.
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
6 months ago
Kechara Forest Retreat is preparing for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. This is our holy Vajra Yogini stupa which is now surrounded by beautiful lanterns organised by our students.
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
6 months ago
One of the most recent harvests from our Kechara Forest Retreat land. It was grown free of chemicals and pesticides, wonderful!
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
12 months ago
Third picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
12 months ago
Second picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal.
Height: 33ft (10m)
12 months ago
First picture-Standing Manjushri Statue at Chowar, Kirtipur, Nepal. Height: 33ft (10m)
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
12 months ago
The first title published by Kechara Comics is Karuna Finds A Way. It tells the tale of high-school sweethearts Karuna and Adam who had what some would call the dream life. Everything was going great for them until one day when reality came knocking on their door. Caught in a surprise swindle, this loving family who never harmed anyone found themselves out of luck and down on their fortune. Determined to save her family, Karuna goes all out to find a solution. See what she does- https://bit.ly/2LSKuWo
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
12 months ago
Very powerful story! Tibetan Resistance group Chushi Gangdruk reveals how Dalai Lama escaped in 1959- https://bit.ly/2S9VMGX
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
1 years ago
At Kechara Forest Retreat land we have nice fresh spinach growing free of chemicals and pesticides. Yes!
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
1 years ago
See beautiful pictures of Manjushri Guest House here- https://bit.ly/2WGo0ti
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
1 years ago
Beginner’s Introduction to Dorje Shugden~Very good overview https://bit.ly/2QQNfYv
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat\'s land here in Malaysia
1 years ago
Fresh eggplants grown on Kechara Forest Retreat's land here in Malaysia
Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
1 years ago
Most Venerable Uppalavanna – The Chief Female Disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni - She exhibited many supernatural abilities gained from meditation and proved to the world females and males are equal in spirituality- https://bit.ly/31d9Rat
Thailand’s ‘Renegade’ Yet Powerful Buddhist Nuns~ https://bit.ly/2Z1C02m
1 years ago
Thailand’s ‘Renegade’ Yet Powerful Buddhist Nuns~ https://bit.ly/2Z1C02m
Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
1 years ago
Mahapajapati Gotami – the first Buddhist nun ordained by Lord Buddha- https://bit.ly/2IjD8ru
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
1 years ago
The Largest Buddha Shakyamuni in Russia | 俄罗斯最大的释迦牟尼佛画像- https://bit.ly/2Wpclni
Sacred Vajra Yogini
1 years ago
Sacred Vajra Yogini
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
1 years ago
Dorje Shugden works & archives - a labour of commitment - https://bit.ly/30Tp2p8
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
1 years ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha.
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha\'s mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
1 years ago
Mahapajapati Gotami, who was the first nun ordained by Lord Buddha. She was his step-mother and aunt. Buddha's mother had passed away at his birth so he was raised by Gotami.
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha\'s. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
1 years ago
Another nun disciple of Lord Buddha's. She had achieved great spiritual abilities and high attainments. She would be a proper object of refuge. This image of the eminent bhikkhuni (nun) disciple of the Buddha, Uppalavanna Theri.
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
1 years ago
Wandering Ascetic Painting by Nirdesha Munasinghe
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
1 years ago
High Sri Lankan monks visit Kechara to bless our land, temple, Buddha and Dorje Shugden images. They were very kind-see pictures- https://bit.ly/2HQie2M
This is pretty amazing!

First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
1 years ago
This is pretty amazing! First Sri Lankan Buddhist temple opened in Dubai!!!
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche

Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
1 years ago
My Dharma boy (left) and Oser girl loves to laze around on the veranda in the mornings. They enjoy all the trees, grass and relaxing under the hot sun. Sunbathing is a favorite daily activity. I care about these two doggies of mine very much and I enjoy seeing them happy. They are with me always. Tsem Rinpoche Always be kind to animals and eat vegetarian- https://bit.ly/2Psp8h2
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can\'t stop thinking of you and I can\'t forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
1 years ago
After you left me Mumu, I was alone. I have no family or kin. You were my family. I can't stop thinking of you and I can't forget you. My bond and connection with you is so strong. I wish you were by my side. Tsem Rinpoche
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
1 years ago
This story is a life-changer. Learn about the incredible Forest Man of India | 印度“森林之子”- https://bit.ly/2Eh4vRS
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
1 years ago
Part 2-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
1 years ago
Part 1-Beautiful billboard in Malaysia of a powerful Tibetan hero whose life serves as a great inspiration- https://bit.ly/2UltNE4
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
1 years ago
The great Protector Manjushri Dorje Shugden depicted in the beautiful Mongolian style. To download a high resolution file: https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
1 years ago
The Mystical land of Shambhala is finally ready for everyone to feast their eyes and be blessed. A beautiful post with information, art work, history, spirituality and a beautiful book composed by His Holiness the 6th Panchen Rinpoche. ~ https://bit.ly/309MHBi
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
1 years ago
Beautiful pictures of the huge Buddha in Longkou Nanshan- https://bit.ly/2LsBxVb
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
1 years ago
The reason-Very interesting thought- https://bit.ly/2V7VT5r
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
1 years ago
NEW Bigfoot cafe in Malaysia! Food is delicious!- https://bit.ly/2VxdGau
DON\'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
1 years ago
DON'T MISS THIS!~How brave Bonnie survived by living with a herd of deer~ https://bit.ly/2Lre2eY
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
1 years ago
Global Superpower China Will Cut Meat Consumption by 50%! Very interesting, find out more- https://bit.ly/2V1sJFh
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
1 years ago
You can download this beautiful Egyptian style Dorje Shugden Free- https://bit.ly/2Nt3FHz
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
1 years ago
Beautiful high file for print of Lord Manjushri. May you be blessed- https://bit.ly/2V8mwZe
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
1 years ago
Mongolian (Oymiakon) Shaman in Siberia, Russia. That is his real outfit he wears. Very unique. TR
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
1 years ago
Find one of the most beautiful temples in the world in Nara, Japan. It is the 1,267 year old Todai-ji temple that houses a 15 meter Buddha Vairocana statue who is a cosmic and timeless Buddha. Emperor Shomu who sponsored this beautiful temple eventually abdicated and ordained as a Buddhist monk. Very interesting history and story. One of the places everyone should visit- https://bit.ly/2VgsHhK
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
1 years ago
Manjusri Kumara (bodhisattva of wisdom), India, Pala dynesty, 9th century, stone, Honolulu Academy of Arts
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ASK A PASTOR


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A section for you to clarify your Dharma questions with Kechara’s esteemed pastors.

Just post your name and your question below and one of our pastors will provide you with an answer.

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CHAT PICTURES

Thanks to the effort of our outstation team, we were able to mobilise food provisions to 600 families living in Kelantan, Penang, Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Johor during the Raya period with each of these families receiving RM200 worth of provisions. Adding onto the current 368 families in Klang Valley, a total of 968 families were benefitted from this. Special thanks to the sponsors who have contributed especially Hong Leong Foundation and partially from Tesco Malaysia (where we also ordered the provisions from). ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
yesterday
Thanks to the effort of our outstation team, we were able to mobilise food provisions to 600 families living in Kelantan, Penang, Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Johor during the Raya period with each of these families receiving RM200 worth of provisions. Adding onto the current 368 families in Klang Valley, a total of 968 families were benefitted from this. Special thanks to the sponsors who have contributed especially Hong Leong Foundation and partially from Tesco Malaysia (where we also ordered the provisions from). ~ Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
system
3 days ago
system
So glad that our soup kitchen operations are back in full swing. Good to see the clients are observing the SOPs. Some of them lost their job during MCO and ended up on the streets. Special thanks to our sponsors and volunteers for the great support! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
3 weeks ago
So glad that our soup kitchen operations are back in full swing. Good to see the clients are observing the SOPs. Some of them lost their job during MCO and ended up on the streets. Special thanks to our sponsors and volunteers for the great support! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
From serving cooked food to the homeless clients on the streets to mobilising provisions to the needy individuals in PPRs and shelters, we thank everyone of our Johor Bahru team for their kind contributions and effort to make it for the needy despite all the challenges! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
1 month ago
From serving cooked food to the homeless clients on the streets to mobilising provisions to the needy individuals in PPRs and shelters, we thank everyone of our Johor Bahru team for their kind contributions and effort to make it for the needy despite all the challenges! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
More photos taken from our "Hari Raya Hampers" distribution this week. Making sure everyone of our clients have something to be cheerful about. Apart from food, daily used items such as hygiene products, kitchen utensils, assorted fabric items, stationary items and toys were also included into our hamper bags making it extra heavier this month! Food items alone were about 35kg per family! Taking this opportunity to wish everyone of our Muslim volunteers, friends, supporters and clients a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. No doubt this year's celebration will be very different but appreciate everyone is safe and protected from the pandemic. We are in this together and let's work to fight this pandemic together! Thanking all sponsors and donors for the generous support enabling us to continue serve the needy with food, love and care. Big shoutout too to our wonderful team which already depleted by our very own strict SOP. All of you who worked tirelessly behind the s
1 month ago
More photos taken from our "Hari Raya Hampers" distribution this week. Making sure everyone of our clients have something to be cheerful about. Apart from food, daily used items such as hygiene products, kitchen utensils, assorted fabric items, stationary items and toys were also included into our hamper bags making it extra heavier this month! Food items alone were about 35kg per family! Taking this opportunity to wish everyone of our Muslim volunteers, friends, supporters and clients a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. No doubt this year's celebration will be very different but appreciate everyone is safe and protected from the pandemic. We are in this together and let's work to fight this pandemic together! Thanking all sponsors and donors for the generous support enabling us to continue serve the needy with food, love and care. Big shoutout too to our wonderful team which already depleted by our very own strict SOP. All of you who worked tirelessly behind the s
Our team have been working extra hours for the past few weeks to deliver provisions and hamper goodies to the needy families before Hari Raya! Heart warming to see the smiling faces of our recipients upon receiving 3 bags full of food and daily used items. Thanks to everyone of you who have contributed to our foodbank enabling us to give all our recipients (especially those celebrating) a Raya to remember! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
1 month ago
Our team have been working extra hours for the past few weeks to deliver provisions and hamper goodies to the needy families before Hari Raya! Heart warming to see the smiling faces of our recipients upon receiving 3 bags full of food and daily used items. Thanks to everyone of you who have contributed to our foodbank enabling us to give all our recipients (especially those celebrating) a Raya to remember! - Vivian @ Kechara Soup Kitchen
Thankful to all donors and those who have been committed in contributing not just money but time over the past testing weeks to help us ease the work of our frontliners and also the livelihood of the needy, their struggles over this pandemic period seemed a little easier to bear with because of your contributions! - Vivian @Kechara Soup Kitchen
1 month ago
Thankful to all donors and those who have been committed in contributing not just money but time over the past testing weeks to help us ease the work of our frontliners and also the livelihood of the needy, their struggles over this pandemic period seemed a little easier to bear with because of your contributions! - Vivian @Kechara Soup Kitchen
KSDS Level 2 virtual class, Lin Mun KSDS
2 months ago
KSDS Level 2 virtual class, Lin Mun KSDS
KSDS Level 3 virtual class. Lin Mun KSDS
2 months ago
KSDS Level 3 virtual class. Lin Mun KSDS
Wesak 2020
2 months ago
Wesak 2020
Recycle today for a better tomorrow. KEP-Serena
4 months ago
Recycle today for a better tomorrow. KEP-Serena
Today we are having recycling at Kechara Soup Kitchen. Do drop by here if you would like to get ride of the recyclable items from home. KEP - Serena
4 months ago
Today we are having recycling at Kechara Soup Kitchen. Do drop by here if you would like to get ride of the recyclable items from home. KEP - Serena
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Seen here is Bam, Vajrayogini’s seed syllable and also Kechara's logo. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Seen here is Bam, Vajrayogini’s seed syllable and also Kechara's logo. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: More melted butter was offered. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: More melted butter was offered. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
H.E. Zawa Rinpoche in deep concentration. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
H.E. Zawa Rinpoche in deep concentration. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Geshela is seen here wearing ceremonial hat called tsoksha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Geshela is seen here wearing ceremonial hat called tsoksha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
The Shize Fire Puja was performed according to scriptural sources. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
The Shize Fire Puja was performed according to scriptural sources. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
To find out more about the substances offered during jinsek/fire puja, have a read here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
To find out more about the substances offered during jinsek/fire puja, have a read here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
More about the symbolism of the offering items here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
More about the symbolism of the offering items here: http://bit.ly/WhatIsFirePuja - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Amongst all pujas, the fire puja is considered the king of all Pujas. It is the most powerful of all pujas within Tibetan Buddhism and its purpose is basically to remove all obstacles and its stains to enlightenment.
4 months ago
Amongst all pujas, the fire puja is considered the king of all Pujas. It is the most powerful of all pujas within Tibetan Buddhism and its purpose is basically to remove all obstacles and its stains to enlightenment.
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Graceful hand mudras were also part of the ritual. - shared Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Graceful hand mudras were also part of the ritual. - shared Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: One by one the offering substances were offered accompanied by traditional Tibetan recitations. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: One by one the offering substances were offered accompanied by traditional Tibetan recitations. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: JP Thong ensuring that Geshela's ritual items are within easy reach. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: JP Thong ensuring that Geshela's ritual items are within easy reach. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor David Lai & Frederick Law were also on hand to assist with the puja ritual substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor David Lai & Frederick Law were also on hand to assist with the puja ritual substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor Niral Patel assisting H.E. Zawa Rinpoche during the puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Pastor Niral Patel assisting H.E. Zawa Rinpoche during the puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Peaceful fire pujas are excellent to remove inauspiciousness, problems that might be coming to our lifespan, wisdom, wealth, growth of Dharma. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Peaceful fire pujas are excellent to remove inauspiciousness, problems that might be coming to our lifespan, wisdom, wealth, growth of Dharma. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Over 100 Kecharians & their loved ones spent the Sunday evening immersed in this obstacle pacifying puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Over 100 Kecharians & their loved ones spent the Sunday evening immersed in this obstacle pacifying puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Dakpa and Geshe Janchup Gyaltsen Lama inspecting the offering substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Dakpa and Geshe Janchup Gyaltsen Lama inspecting the offering substances. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Rinpoche & Geshe Janchup making last minute checks before the commencement of the Jinsek or Fire Puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: H.E. Zawa Rinpoche & Geshe Janchup making last minute checks before the commencement of the Jinsek or Fire Puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The arrival of the Sangha conducting this sacred puja accompanied by Changtso Beng Kooi and Pastor Niral Patel - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The arrival of the Sangha conducting this sacred puja accompanied by Changtso Beng Kooi and Pastor Niral Patel - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The site of the Peaceful Fire Puja the calls upon the pacifying energies of Shize Shugden. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: The site of the Peaceful Fire Puja the calls upon the pacifying energies of Shize Shugden. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: A close-up of the ladle. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: A close-up of the ladle. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Substances such as sticks, melted butter, kusha grass, lentils and barley were traditionally offered during the prayers to create the causes for merits, long life and to pacify obstacles. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Substances such as sticks, melted butter, kusha grass, lentils and barley were traditionally offered during the prayers to create the causes for merits, long life and to pacify obstacles. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Beautifully handcrafted torma or food offering to the Buddha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Beautifully handcrafted torma or food offering to the Buddha. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Some of the many offering items & substances used during this highly blessed Fire Puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja: Some of the many offering items & substances used during this highly blessed Fire Puja. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja in Kechara Forest Retreat: A special mandala at the base where the fire puja ritual was conducted. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
4 months ago
Highlights from the Shize Peaceful Fire Puja in Kechara Forest Retreat: A special mandala at the base where the fire puja ritual was conducted. - shared by Pastor Antoinette
Kechara Earth Project (KEP) 8/3/2020
4 months ago
Kechara Earth Project (KEP) 8/3/2020
Dear Kecharians and friends, We are pleased to announce that as part of the preparations for H.E. Tsem Rinpoche's reliquary stupas and incarnation chapel, mantra rolling sessions have begun in Kechara Forest Retreat. We are calling for volunteers to join us in this holy activity. DATE Daily starting 5th March 2020 until further notice TIME (1) Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday & Saturday - 10am to 10pm (2) Thursday & Sunday - 10am to 6pm VENUE Art Studio (Kechara Saraswati Arts) Kechara Forest Retreat If you're interested, kindly contact: Wong Yew Kien 012-3717896 or Karen Chong 012-7710289 We look forward to seeing you soon!
4 months ago
Dear Kecharians and friends, We are pleased to announce that as part of the preparations for H.E. Tsem Rinpoche's reliquary stupas and incarnation chapel, mantra rolling sessions have begun in Kechara Forest Retreat. We are calling for volunteers to join us in this holy activity. DATE Daily starting 5th March 2020 until further notice TIME (1) Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday & Saturday - 10am to 10pm (2) Thursday & Sunday - 10am to 6pm VENUE Art Studio (Kechara Saraswati Arts) Kechara Forest Retreat If you're interested, kindly contact: Wong Yew Kien 012-3717896 or Karen Chong 012-7710289 We look forward to seeing you soon!
Join us for a Peaceful Fire Puja based on Dorje Shugden’s pacifying form. This blessed puja will be conducted at the future site of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche’s outdoor reliquary stupa to pacify obstacles and for the success of the project. EVENT DETAILS • Date: Sunday, 8 March 2020 • Time: 6.00pm – 8.30pm • Venue: Kechara Forest Retreat, Bentong Admission is free, all are welcome. ADDITIONAL BENEFITS FOR SPONSORS AND ATTENDEES • Healing from illness and disease • Overcoming obstacles • Purifying past negative deeds and negative karma • Calming the environment, natural disasters and calamities • Helping the deceased to take a good rebirth • Accumulation of merits for spiritual realisations and attainments
4 months ago
Join us for a Peaceful Fire Puja based on Dorje Shugden’s pacifying form. This blessed puja will be conducted at the future site of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche’s outdoor reliquary stupa to pacify obstacles and for the success of the project. EVENT DETAILS • Date: Sunday, 8 March 2020 • Time: 6.00pm – 8.30pm • Venue: Kechara Forest Retreat, Bentong Admission is free, all are welcome. ADDITIONAL BENEFITS FOR SPONSORS AND ATTENDEES • Healing from illness and disease • Overcoming obstacles • Purifying past negative deeds and negative karma • Calming the environment, natural disasters and calamities • Helping the deceased to take a good rebirth • Accumulation of merits for spiritual realisations and attainments
Join us this weekend for Spiritual Saturday in Kechara Forest Retreat! SATURDAY, 7 MARCH 9.30 am: Polish Gyenze's wish-fulfilling lamps 11.15 am: Introduction to Ayurveda 1.00 pm: Lunch INTERESTED? WhatsApp us at +6017 672 0757 to RSVP your place (and your meal!) See all March activities: bit.ly/2vAGpjF
4 months ago
Join us this weekend for Spiritual Saturday in Kechara Forest Retreat! SATURDAY, 7 MARCH 9.30 am: Polish Gyenze's wish-fulfilling lamps 11.15 am: Introduction to Ayurveda 1.00 pm: Lunch INTERESTED? WhatsApp us at +6017 672 0757 to RSVP your place (and your meal!) See all March activities: bit.ly/2vAGpjF
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Dorje Shugden
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