I Like This Picture of My Mother
My biological mother once took me from my adopted family, the Bugayeffs in New Jersey to her home in Philadelphia, where she lived with her two sons and husband. She had a lovely home.
I knew at that time she was connected to me but I didn’t exactly know how. She always told me she is my aunt. I was like 12 or something. She took me to the aquarium, and to a kungfu store and she bought me nunchucks – I wanted it because I saw a Bruce Lee movie and thought it was cool, hehe.
That beautiful weekend we spent together, we talked a lot. She told me I resembled my grandmother; her mom, Queen Dechen Minh. I thought that was such a great compliment because I loved my grandmother and to be like her was great. To me, she was love incarnate.
I found out later, my mom’s husband wanted to adopt me as his son and live with them and be with my half brothers. I was like wow. I thought how generous of this man. How absolutely generous.
But mom didn’t agree. I don’t know why exactly. I wish she did agree. It was years later when I was around 24 that I found out absolutely beyond a doubt that this beautiful Princess is my mother. I felt proud and wanted to connect with her so much. But my mom didn’t accept the connection because it brought up a lot of painful memories about my father when she sees me. I don’t blame her, but I wish one day we can reconnect… every son would like to serve their mom, and I am no different.
Tsem Rinpoche
Torgut Noyen (The Princess of Torgut) Dewa Nimbo
My biological mother, The Princess of Torgut Dewa Nimbo is a Mongolian princess whose ancestry originates from the court of Genghis Khan and whose family ruled Mongolia’s Altai district, with Chenghua as its capital (now Altay in Xinjiang). At the age of 3, my mother and her family escaped to India through China and Tibet, strapped to a camel to run for their lives as a revolution started in their part of the world to take over power.
My mother, the Princess Dewa Nimbo, when she was younger. Even during her school days, she was very beautiful.
“Oral History of the Mongols”, written by Princess Dewa Nimbo
The family was given refuge in the Tibetan capital of Lhasa by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and then they stayed a couple of years in India. Later on, they moved to Taiwan where my mother completed her high school education.
My mother then moved to the United States in 1966 and enrolled in Temple University for higher studies. She completed her PhD and did research at Indiana University in Bloomington, and had a book published, “Oral History of the Mongols“.
Although my mother was a Princess, she was very humble, just like my grandfather who never allowed people to kowtow to the family. At university, she stayed in university housing and ate hamburgers, just like everybody else.
Philadelphia and Kalmykia
My mother married a Mongolian man in Philadelphia and had two sons. The sister of this Mongolian man had a wonderful son, who was later recognised as the reincarnation of Mahasiddha Tilopa, an 11th Century Indian mystic. He is known as Telo Rinpoche, the Shadjin Lama (spiritual head) of the Buddhists of Kalmykia. We consider ourselves cousins in that way. Telo Rinpoche is a tulku (reincarnate lama) of Drepung Gomang and I am from Gaden Shartse. The two monasteries are near each other so I visited Telo Rinpoche often in Drepung and had good times back in India. This is interesting because I found out later on that in one of my previous lives, Telo Rinpoche was my teacher and we had a very close relationship.
Left to right: Venerable Telo Rinpoche, His Holiness Kalka Jetsun Dampa Rinpoche of Mongolia and His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche.
The previous incarnation of Telo Rinpoche escaped from Mongolia in 1939 when the Bolsheviks began their slaughter of 30,000 Buddhist lamas and their destroying of over 2,000 temples and monasteries. He arrived in the United States of America on a scholar’s visa and settled in Philadelphia. He passed away in 1965 and seven years later, the new Telo Rinpoche was born in the same city. My adoptive mother, Dana Bugayeff was a disciple of the previous Telo Rinpoche. What a small world.
Below are more pictures of my mother, The Princess of Torgut.
My Mother, Dewa Nimbo is of royal Mongolian lineage. Her bloodline can be traced back to the legendary Genghis Khan.
My beautiful mother with what looks like a giant mushroom behind her!
She has such a nice smile
An artistic shot of my mother, I wonder what she was looking at…
Princess Dewa Nimbo, my mother in Taiwan.
My birth mother in Taiwan. She looks very happy and relaxed here. My mother met my birth father in Taiwan, and started a relationship with him, without knowing he already had a wife and children back in Tibet.
My mother was known to be very elegant and always properly and well-dressed
For more interesting information:
- The Promise – Tsem Rinpoche’s inspiring biography now in ebook format!
- My Short Bio in Pictures
- My Mother
- Tsem Rinpoche’s Torghut Ancestry | 詹杜固仁波切的土尔扈特血统
- My Childhood in Taiwan…Revisiting…
- My Great Aunt the Princess
- My Father
- My Uncle
- My Grandmother
- My Grandfather the Ruler of Xinjiang
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Really really hope Rinpoche’s mother is able to come to KFR one day, reconnect with Rimpoche somehow. _/\_
Beautiful story of Tsem Rinpoche’s mother . Thank you, Rinpoche for sharing those precious picture of Rinpoche’s mother. Looking at those pictures tell us she is indeed beautiful
1984 Los Angeles-Left to right: Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen, His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche, monk assistant to Zong Rinpoche and the 18-year-old Tsem Rinpoche prior to ordination. Read more- https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/category/me
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A poem inspired by seeing a picture of my teacher, Kyabje Zong Rinpoche…
In the sport of correct views,
all that is correct is just a view,
without permanence or substance.
As long as we hold onto views,
our sufferings are gathered
to be experienced without end.
Without the strong methods of emptiness
and compassion, bereft of merit,
we sink deeper without respite.
To arise from this samsara is but
a dreamscape on the deluded mind.
Therefore seek the guru, who confers the yidam,
hold your vows and fixate on liberation
free of new creations. Free of new experiences as
there are none.
~ Tsem Rinpoche
Composed in Tsem Ladrang, Kuala Lumpur on July 7, 2014
A poem by Tsem Rinpoche
I was walking past a second hand shop on Western Ave selling old things. They had a Japanese-style clay Buddha which was beige in colour on the floor, holding the door open. I thought the shopkeeper would collect a lot of negative karma without knowing if he kept such a holy item on the floor as a doorstop. So I went in to talk to him, but he didn’t look like he wanted to talk or that he even cared. So I asked him the price and he said US$5. I purchased it so he did not collect more negative karma. I was 17 years old and that was in 1982.
I escorted my new Buddha home and washed it lightly and wiped it. I placed it on my altar and was happy with the Buddha. I would do my meditations, prayers, sadhanas, mantras and prostrations in front of this shrine daily. When I left for India in 1987, I could not bring this Buddha along and gave it to a friend. It was a nice size and I made offerings to this Buddha for many years in Los Angeles. In front of the Buddha I placed His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s photo. I remember I was so relieved that the price was affordable. But US$5 that time was still expensive for me but worth it I thought. But I was happy to have brought the Buddha home. Tsem Rinpoche
https://www.tsemrinpoche.com
Tsem Rinpoche at Kechara Forest Retreat, Bentong, Malaysia
H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche is very devoted to his root guru, H.H. Zong Rinpoche.
Dear Rinpoche,
When I read about Rinpoche’s mom brought Rinpoche go out and buy things for Rinpoche, I think in her heart she love Rinpoche. Perhaps the pain she have is too painful that she have stopped connect with Rinpoche. Maybe She can’t forgive her mistake looking at her strong traditional thought she have ( I pick this up when I watch a short conversation of Rinpoche with Rinpoche uncle’s, Uncle David in Taiwan.)
A princess with so strong of family background, descendent of Genghis Khan have been cheated by the man that she love a lot, adding on that time the society imposed on marriage morality, how much stress, suffer and pain she have to went through. It is very hard. She, although going through the pain, still give birth. To me, she is brave in this case.
I have learned so much pain that a relationship can cause. Almost is an entire damage to a person’s life . I prayed may Rinpoche’s mom could let go of the painful memory. And be proud of her child, who have benefit the world so much. I hope one day she could connect with Rinpoche again.
Love
Freon
“Every son want to serve their mother”. I can feel the pain because that is exactly how i feel when i want to show affectionate towards mom, i get pushed away. I pray that my mother will live long and healthy so that i can continue to serve her and hopefully get her to be near to Dharma one day. I pray that Rinpoche’s wish to be able to re-connect back to your mother could be fulfilled soon. Thanks for sharing your feeling with us Rinpoche.
A beautiful short and sweet post. Yes! every son would love to serve their mother, am sure as I have two sons of my own.
Only time can heal and change a person, every thing is impermanent, hope that Rinpoche’s mother can forgive Rinpoche’s dad and forget and let go of the past so that Rinpoche can reconnect with His lovely mother again. May Rinpoche’s wishes will be fulfilled during this trip to America.
Thanks Rinpoche to share this again with us. May Rinpoche dream manifest.
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Thank you, Rinpoche for sharing this lovely picture of Rinpoche’s mother. She is very beautiful. She should feel proud to have Rinpoche as her son as Rinpoche has managed to do so much for other people and many people have benefited because of Rinpoche.
It saddens me to see that she is unable to keep in contact with Rinpoche but I hope that Rinpoche will be reunited with his mother one day 😀
Dear Rinpoche, I really do hope that Rinpoche’s mom will meet Rinpoche again and accept Rinpoche as her son! It is really sad that both of you have to go through so much pain just to be together!
how much rinpoche has to endure to bring the dharma to others.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this blog post with us. I hope Rinpoche wish to meet up with your mother will come true. As for now I think if one day Rinpoche`s mother will feel very proud of Rinpoche because her has benefits some many and so many of us has benefit from her son.
Rinpoche’s mother is very beautiful, I too wish Rinpoche would be able to reconnect with your mother. Every child deserves to be connected to their mother as they were in her womb for 9 months. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this, it only makes me think of my mother and love her more.
May her heart soften to you and you can be the son you always dreamed to be. <3
The bond between a mother and the child is something one cannot deny. Every time I hear this story it brings tears to my eyes. The emotions are on various levels. One of Rinpoche’s compassion, acceptance and forgiveness… Another on what Rinpoche’s birth mother must be feeling. It is not easy to “give up” your child. The circumstances must have been very difficult for her! I wish that the day will came that she will finally find in her heart to not deny Rinpoche’s connection for I feel the pride in having Rinpoche as a son far outweights the painful memories that plague her from the past!
A mother’s love is the most precious love of all, for which every child would like to have! So is Rinpoche, when he wrote, “I felt so proud and wanted to connect with her so much. But Mom didn’t accept the connection because alot of painful memories about my father when she sees me. I don’t blame her, But I wish one day we can reconnect….. and I am no different.” Inspite of such painful and heart breaking memories, and with such sufferings, Rinpoche managed to still contain them and not let them disturbed his holy mind to make Kechara grow to what it is today for all of us! Of course we shall keep praying for Rinpoche to be able to reconcile with his lovely mother one day soon!
I pray and wish Rinpoche can meet up with his mother soon. Every son or daughter always want the best for their mothers with much care and compassion, especially during their old age. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing on this.
Dear Rinpoche thank you for sharing such a wonderful post your mother is so kind and pretty. I wish you can see her again.
Dear Rinpoche, I really wish that you can reconnect with your mother..even though a short description , but it full of your love towards of your mother.Every children wish to stick with mother, this is natural response. Once again , may Ripoche’s all wishes fufill.
敬愛的上師
我真心的祈愿仁波切的愿望能早日實現。感恩。
really touching.. I wish to your wish comes true !
Thank you for sharing this with us Rinpoche. Its sad that Rinpoche was not allowed to reconnect with Rinpoche’s mother. I am sure she was a very lovely and compassionate person. The picture above truly brings out her beauty.
Thank you Rinpoche sharing this post.
当我做关于仁波切生平功课时，才知道仁波切的童年经历是很可怜又坎苛。
为什么一个高僧的经历会这么苦呢？我想我们学佛的才了解吧！
上天就是有这样的按排，或是冥冥中有主定。仁波切与他妈妈的缘份就是那么薄。
那么短暂。我想仁波切播放这个blog, 就是要我们多多孝顺自己的父母和疼爱自己的孩子。
亲情是多么宝贵，错过了就挽不回了。
谢谢仁波切。
May Rinpoche’s wish of connecting with Rinpoche’s mother be fulfilled. She would be very proud of a son like Rinpoche, who has worked so tirelessly to benefit others.
Her pain is a memory, I pray that she can let go and enjoy the love and care, which so many of us have and unworthy of, be bestowed on her so that she will have peace till the end of her life.
I really like the picture of Rinpoche’s beautiful mother too. But one thing I do not understand is that why wouldn’t she allow Rinpoche to meet her again? As what she claimed, seeing Rinpoche reminds her of Rinpoche’s father who has hurt her very deeply. But to me, Rinpoche is innocent and what is passed is passed, after so many years, she still couldn’t forgive Rinpoche’s father. I may not know how desperate a child feels when he needs his mother and she’s not around, but I know that every child deserves to be loved by their parents no matter what happens. I hope that Rinpoche’s mother can put away all the hates and guilty she has been keeping in her heart, and decide to reunite with Rinpoche again. Every child has the rights to be loved.
This is really touching. I hope that one day, Rinpoche’s mother will want to keep in contact with Rinpoche. I think that she should be very proud to find out that Rinpoche has benefitted so many people and became very succesful in life.
A princess, a royalty, she had a son she never knew could one day change the world we live in. She was devastated with lies, so up until today, mother and son have not spoken or seen each other… this is a true story about Tsem Tulku Rinpoche a royal Mongolian prince that became a “Precious Guru” to many… from Joy
“every son would like to serve their mom, and I am no different” makes me very sad that Rinpoche has a wish to get acquainted to his mum not because he have to but because he wanted to serve her. That’s how great love is. My mom may not be in this world anymore, perhaps this would make me contemplate to be able to serve and care for people around me more than I should have.
Rinpoche’s mother is very beautiful. I believe it’s very hard for her to give away her own son. I can feel that she loves Rinpoche a lot but at the same time by seeing Rinpoche, she remembered all the pain and anger.
Although She’s not physically with Rinpoche but I believe that she’s watching Rinpoche all the time like an angel. May be she’s reading one of Rinpoche blog post now. I am sure at this moment, she feels very proud to be Rinpoche’s mother.
Rinpoche went through a much more painful experience than most of us, but Rinpoche is a much more loving person, a person who willing to sacrifice Himself for the others.
Im asking myself, with all the so-called pain i went through, how much and how long im going to blame the people who gave me pain in the past?
Let go, let go, just let go.
“every son would like to serve their mom, and I am no different.” this particular statement has a lot of meaning…..wish every sons of every family…….have such wishes and dreams……..it is lovely la Your holiness……….my only wish for Rinpoche to see this dream come true…one day..la…….
Being a mother myself it would have been very heart breaking for Rinpoche’s mother to do what she had to do with Rinpoche. I do not think it is anythin g to do with Rinpoche that she was hurt. But with Rinpoche’s father who has cheated on her. She does not want Rinpoche’s presence in her life that will repeatedly remind her of the episode that has happened in her life with Rinpoche’s father. Even when Rinpoche’s mother’s mongolian husband wanted to adopt Rinpoche she refused. I can see Tsem Rinpoche is still thinking a bout his mother whom he cannot even call. So for those who do not have time to think about their mother. Read Rinpoche’s blog and think how lucky you are to have a mother whom can call MOM. I wish Rinpoche will have his wishes come true.
Dear Mother,
Where are you? Can’t you remember we were so connected before for nine months until you brought me to this world? Hope to have a chance to get to know you better…
I wish the air around everyone who was ever abandoned, rejected and abused, would transform into love, caress every atom of your beeing and make all sufferings melt.
“every son would like to serve their mom, and I am no different”. It is everyone’s wish to be able to serve their parents and I can feel Rinpoche’s sadness for not being able to serve his mother. The pain and suffering that young Rinpoche had to go through did not stop him from wanting to help and benefit others and he had singlehandedly done so much for our Organization and to bring us where we are now.
I feel so sorry for Rinpoche’s mother for not being able to let go of her past experience after so long. I hope one day she will let go and get connected with Rinpoche.
I think every Child loves their Mother unless their Mother was very unkind, but even then every child would want a lovely Mother. I too have had my share of bad experience with my Mother after she became unwell. But the biggest lesson I learnt from Rinpoche is that everything is created by yourself, that it is your / my karma to be born in that situation and never to Blame anyone. I will never forget that advice Rinpoche gave me, and because of that, my perspective started to change and I started to accept and heal. If there is one thing I learnt from Rinpoche’s experience is that we need to FORGIVE even if we cannot Forget the Pain. This has given me strength to look back at all the positive things that I experienced and the words of wisdom she gave me when I was young. I dedicate everyday that I am doing Dharma work to her. I hope she will have a good future life for she did not die in peace but in depression. Thank you Rinpoche for your sharing.
I really like to read about Rinpoche’s history. I guess this gives me a chance to know Rinpoche in person. Despite not having much love from His mother, Rinpoche didn’t continue his life full of bitterness. Instead, he moves on, practice Dharma and show us what it is all about compassionate.
I now have the good karma of living together with my parents, and have the good karma that my wife is having a good relationship with my parents. While writing this comment, my mum is talking to me, and I usually get annoyed by her repeating the same things over and over, but now I learnt to be patient 🙂
Thank you Rinpoche!
I have heard Rinpoche talk about family harmonious and care for our loves one. Going through Rinpoche biography really amaze me that actually Rinpoche had a painful childhood experience but this doesn’t make Rinpoche an unhappy or turn to be an angry person instead Rinpoche turned it to an energy to make people closer (quoted from Su Ming post). I personally have not stayed with my father since about 6 or 7 years old and my mom when I was 15 years old. The feeling of wanting to see them, meet them, share my feeling with them and to be pampered always there. I roughly can understand Rinpoche feeling but I’m not comparing myself with Rinpoche. I admire the strength that Rinpoche turn it over. Rinpoche advices on learning and practicing dharma is one of the best way that we can benefit our parents. For whatever reasons my parents chosen (not to stay together) I will accept it and will follow Rinpoche example to turn it over and share with other people how to love their loves one correctly.
Here I would also like to thank Su Ming for teaching me how to show loves to my family member even though they are staying for far apart. She is sharing and putting Rinpoche’s advice in to practice to benefit more people. I’m one of the many benefited.
Thank you so much again.
As I read this blog, my eyes welled up in tears. For several reasons. I feel the pain that young Rinpoche had to endure; not knowing who he is, being rejected by his natural family, moving from taiwan to an alien land (America), etc. The feelings of insecurity any child experiences. Then i think of how compassionate Rinpoche is. Tulku, one who can control ones rebirth and incarnates again and again with full control. So why then did Tsem Tulku Rinpoche choose to incarnate in that situation? Definitely not due to bad karma! Then it can only be that it is out of compassion; as an example that despite how one’s childhood has been, one can still turn it around and make good one’s life like a lotus blossoming out from murky water. Who among us has ever prayed to be in a situation like that; to endure the harshness, abandonment and pain for others?
It is painful for me to even just read Rinpoche’s account of his meeting with his maternal mother.I feel tearful not because of the separation of mother and son but for Rinpoche’s unfulfilled wishes and needs at an age when it matters most.Yet he did not let the events drag him down but remain hopeful forgiving and positive.
I can’t help thinking how fortunate that I did not have to experience what Rinpoche had to go through at such an important time period in his life as a teen who have maturing emotions, sensitivities and intelligence.
Then again, Rinpoche is no ordinary being. It is said that incarnates prayed in their past lives to take on sufferings. The epitome of that is Quan Yin’s prayer to be reborn in hell to help the beings there.
I agreed with you David.
I find that amazing about Rinpoche. He had such a painful childhood whereby his real parents abandoned him. His adopted parents abused him.
Nevertheless, Rinpoche has turned all these “painful” experiences around and diverted his energy to bring many of us closer to our parents which he did not experience himself. Through Rinpoche’s teachings, Rinpoche actually taught us how to love CORRECTLY towards our parents and ALSO the people we love.
All of us have bad imprints in our growing years, most of us used that to mould us to be bitter, angry and etc. Rinpoche is a REAL example of how we can turn bad imprints to be positive imprints AND not drag ourselves and others down further.
I am at a loss as to why a highly enlightened Lama would choose to decide to “return” and experience such a painful experience.
It is such a wonderful piece of writing and sharing by Tsem Tulku that even as i feel his pain, i cannot help but also feel his continuing love for his mother and a hope that one day they will reconnect.
I am reminded of Rinpoche’s talk last night, never to “individualise” a problem and NEVER NEVER to give up.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing such painful emotions and YET continue to pray that other peoples’ sufferings go to you so that you absorb their pain in their stead.
Does Rinpoche still have the nunchucks? I like the picture too. It brings out a chinese look in her. I hope that Rinpoche will get a chance to get in touch with his mother. I liked this paragraph:
“I found out later, my mom’s husband wanted to adopt me as his son and live with them and be with my half brothers. I was like wow. I thought how generous of this man. How abolutely generous. That is Telo Rinpoche’s maternal uncle.”
Because to me it seems like if he managed to get together with Rinpoche’s mother’s husband. He could have been able to touch Dharma earlier. The good thing is that he can now teach Dharma in Kechara House in Malaysia because I would not know whether what is happening now in Kechara will be altered if Rinpoche’s mother said yes.
It is a very touching post and I think for most people who do have a mother, we take for granted the great fortune and kindness of having a mother who cares for us. I do that sometimes and I do get mad at my own mother for small petty reasons and reading Rinpoche’s blog reminds me of how fortunate I am to have a healthy and loving mother and father.
What’s amazing about Rinpoche is that he would use his pain and his sorrow from not having a mother and turn it around to foster closer relationships amongst his friends and students. He is always teaches about it using the angle of Buddhism and in private. He is always concerned that his students always take care of their parents, take them out, show love, concern and most importantly to forgive them. I find that such a rare quality and most amazing because other’s having gone through that neglect, end up being angry or somehow psychologically scarred.
I cannot imagine why some lucky ones who had their parents with them choose to defy their parents and hurt them in one way or another.
Rinpoche on the other hand had never received Rinpoche’s birth mother’s love openly. Deep down inside I felt Rinpoche’s mother loved Rinpoche, if not, she would not have visited Rinpoche though under the ‘disguise’ of an aunt from time to time and ask her good friend Kwan Mama and family to watch out for Rinpoche. She had also brought Rinpoche to stay with her husband and 2 sons.
However, when Rinpoche found out that the ‘aunt’ turned out to be Rinpoche’s birth mother, she shut Rinpoche out! I really wonder how a mother could ever do this to her child.
Looking from Rinpoche’s mother point of view, born of a royal family background and in that era of time, it is very humiliating for a royal princess to be ‘connected’ to a married man and bear a child out of wedlock. The amount of pressure and stress created from this union had caused a lot of pain and heart ache for Rinpoche’s mother. Something that she can’t let go of! How sad.
Being an enlightened bodhisattva as Rinpoche is, Rinpoche forgave Rinpoche’s mother and still hope that one day, Rinpoche can reunite with her and bring her along for pilgrimages and show her all the holy places. This is the love of a son for His mother! Beautiful!
I cannot imagine not having love from my mother, its unfathomable for me. Here you have Rinpoche whose mother abandoned him on purpose and she does not want to acknowledge him at all. Not sure how to reconcile feelings of abandonment such as this as I was never abandoned. For us that had better lives than Rinpoche we must work to benefit others also as Rinpoche had a difficult life , but yet he can do so much now. We should not have any more excuses.
His mum is so beautiful in this picture, though she reminds me that sometimes when we have tremendous obscurations we will just do very negative things or things that make no sense whatsoever. Having obscurations is like a persons having a film or sheet that blocks clear perception, she reminds me of that.
Reading this post bring tear to my eyes. I am dumb struck that a being as compassionate, giving, pure and completely-devoted-to-others as Tsem Rinpoche did not receive his mother’s love and acceptance. Furthermore, after having no contact with Rinpoche’s mother for 18 years, Rinpoche still awaits the opportunity to serve his mother.
This puts me to shame!!!!!! The care and love Rinpoche gives everybody is already so much greater than that I give my mother, who has given me more than any child could ask for. I can only fathom the love Rinpoche would bestow upon his mother should Rinpoche have the opportunity!
This posting is greatly humbling and is a powerful reminder for children everywhere to cherish their parents.
Obviously Rinpoche’s mom had not forgiven Rinpoche’s father and could not let go of this anger of being cheated. That is why Rinpoche’s mom would not want to meet up with Rinpoche and sometimes it is very hard for a woman to forget what they had went through and I feel very sad for Rinpoche too for not being able to communicate with her for such a long time now.
I feel very sorry for Rinpoche’s mother too for not able to let go and just reunited with Rinpoche because I believe there is no mother in this world would like to ignore their child. To add to it, Rinpoche had done nothing wrong to deserve this snub. With much respect, it was the father’s mistake and the son have to suffer too.
I believe Rinpoche will be able to meet up with her again. I pray for this to happen.
To serve the people we love is something many of us dream to do and would like to do, especially in serving our mother. Although Rinpoche’s life is stained with so many painful memories, he still rises from the agony and misery without a drop of anger and negativity. In fact, Rinpoche does not allow the pain and suffering to mould him into an ugly person or a person who just hangs onto the pain and nothing else, and gradually, that person becomes pain itself. No, Rinpoche is nothing like that at all. This is what they mean when they say in Buddhism, a lotus rises from the muddy waters and yet it remains untainted by the mud. More than anything else, Rinpoche’s kindness, compassion and love for humanity shines through – despite of all that has happened to him. Rinpoche is a walking and breathing testament that COMPASSION DOES CONQUER ALL. This is the very individual who built Kechara and so many lives have changed due to his immense loving kindness. Rinpoche is, without a doubt, a great Lama and Teacher of our time.
“every son would like to serve their mom, and I am no different”. I can feel Rinpoche’s sadness for not being able to fulfill this wish. Knowing that one’s mother is alive and well yet unable to connect with her is extremely painful. I really wish one day Rinpoche’s mother will be able to let go of the past and forgive his father. I believe she loves Rinpoche. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have brought him home to her house to meet her sons and her husband. However, the pain and embarrassment she had to go thru as a royal princess who had an illegitimate child had scarred her for life. I can understand why she is reacting the way she is but I hope she will come to terms with it eventually and heal. I really wish for that because it would give her peace and make Rinpoche so happy. Whatever the past may be, her son has turn out to be someone extremely beneficial. What more can a mother ask for?
Rinpoche’s mum has her reservation and view of Rinpoche due to her bad experience with Rinpoche’s dad, Lobsang Gyatso who had cheated her. Rinpoche’s mum was greatly hurt and wanted to block out this memory of hers including distancing herself from baby Rinpoche. Once she even wrote to Rinpoche she would proceed with legal proceedings on Rinpoche if he ever trys to contact her and calls her mum, and the most recent attempt with getting information of her and her family ended up her writing to Rinpoche that if he continues to pursue to unravel the history and her whereabouts she would commit suicide. I find this strange but again it clearly indicates she has not let go and had not forgiven Rinpoche’s dad.
“ … every son would like to serve their mom, and I am no different.”
How absolutely beautiful. If you come from the old school of thoughts, every parent would want their child to be able to serve them.
Rinpoche did not allow his unhappy childhood to mar his aspirations to serve the dharma. He has single-handedly built Kechara into what it is today – we used to be “gypsies and nomads”, traveling from one location to another, initially gathering in the house of one of Rinpoche’s students. Look where we are now – all through the kindness and vision of our Lama. And we are not stopping here!
“every son would like to serve their mom, and I am no different.” – it reminds me of what Rinpoche always says about serving our parents and that the best way to do that would be through the dharma…and you can’t get more dharma than a monk 🙂 I do find it a little ironic how Rinpoche’s mother rejected him, because he is probably the greatest thing she has ever done in her life and yet she wants nothing to do with him (or can’t have anything to do with him…) I mean, how many mothers can say they have given birth to a tulku…? Or even if you don’t believe in reincarnation, how many mothers can say they’ve given birth to a person who has given their life in service of others?
I really am grateful for the way Rinpoche turns his painful experiences into a reason to benefit others. Like Beng and YF have said, he is someone who walks the talk. The other lamas are very highly attained and I have no doubt of their qualities at all, but I sometimes find their experiences difficult to relate to (that’s due to my own wrong view, and not a fault of theirs).
Yoke Fui, I agree. Our guru’s childhood is filled with experiences pain, sadness, abuse, loneliness, abandonment, foster families, etc. So much for a young child to go through.
People have asked me why a tulku would choose to reincarnate in such situations. I believe that by Rinpoche doing so, not only is he absorbing the pain and sufferings of others like you said, but also Rinpoche’s many varied experiences enable him to connect with many other people in today’s modern world.
No where else would you be able to find a Tibetan high reincarnated lama who has experienced homelessness and starvation on the streets of LA, physical, mental and emotional abuse by his foster family in New Jersey, or abandonment by his birth parents in Taiwan.
Even the secular experiences such as going out to party in the LA clubs, working in a Fotomat booth or being friends with prostitutes on Rodeo Drive give Rinpoche a unique edge. And that is the ability to connect with us samsaric lay people in a manner that we understand. And hence Rinpoche is able to bring the Dharma to us so much more effectively, in our own language.
Do read more of Rinpoche’s incredible biography here
http://www.kechara.com/rinpoche/biography/
Part II :
Instead of focusing on his own unhappy childhood, Rinpoche became a monk with the motivation to transform his adverse conditions into the path to happiness.
He came to Malaysia and founded a dharma centre, Kechara House.
On 15 December 2000 KH was officially registered as Kechara House Buddhist Association.
This December KH will celebrate its 10th Anniversary led by its President Datuk May Phng.
Visit http://www.kechara.com/kechara-house/ to find out more.
It saddens me tremendously to read about my Guru’s unfulfilled wish.
On the other hand I can understand his mother’s attempt to block out an unhappy part of her memory…
I choose to believe that Rinpoche’s unhappy childhood is his way of absorbing the pain and sufferings of others and an example to us that one can still grow despite the circumstancial limitations.
I haven’t spoken or communicated with my mother in anyway for at least going on 18 years now.
I don’t know where she lives. I know she is in the United States though.
I’ve consulted divination many times to hope to meet her, but the divinations have come out negative.
I don’t have the good merits to meet my own mother.
Tsem Tulku
really touching…i hope and pray that all your wishes come true..really soon
Thank you Rinpoche 🙂
I wish your wish comes true !
Thank you Rinpoche.