My Father
My birth father, Lobsang Gyatso
My birth father’s name was Lobsang Gyatso, he was a Tibetan from the Golok region of Amdo. When my father was younger he was a monk and was enrolled in Drepung Monastery near Lhasa. Eventually, he rose to become the assistant and ladrang (household) manager of his teacher, Trungsar Rinpoche.
As Trungsar Rinpoche’s ladrang was quite large, with about 200 monks, it was his responsibility to generate income to pay for the ladrang’s expenses. Lobsang Gyatso’s responsibility required him to travel and it was during one of his travels that he met a very attractive Tibetan lady.
My father then decided to return his vows to start a family with this nice Tibetan woman. They had three children together – two sons and a daughter. However, Lobsang Gyatso continued to serve his teacher Trungsar Rinpoche and made a lot of donations to support his teacher’s Dharma work.
When Tibet was lost to the Chinese and His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama made his escape to India in 1959, my father also left Tibet for India. In India, my father was one of the Tibetans who worked very hard to preserve the Tibetan culture and he was chosen to go to Taiwan to establish a Tibetan school there so that the Tibetan children there could learn the Tibetan language and culture. My father built the school, appointed the teachers and administrators and ran the school for many years.
But while he was in Taiwan, he met an attractive Mongolian Princess, Dewa Nimbo, who is my birth mother. Dewa Nimbo was a young and proper lady and my father was quite an attractive man. Unfortunately, he did not tell Dewa Nimbo that he was already married and with a family. My mother became pregnant with Lobsang Gyatso’s child. That child is me. After she became pregnant, she found out the truth about my father and they never got together again.
Left to right: Venerable Telo Rinpoche, His Holiness Kalka Jetsun Dampa Rinpoche of Mongolia and His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche. Click on image to enlarge.
My father returned to his wife and three children in Taiwan and my mother immigrated to the United States, married a Mongolian man and had two sons. Incidentally, this Mongolian man’s sister has a wonderful son whose name is Telo Tulku Rinpoche of Kalmykia. Telo Rinpoche and I consider ourselves cousins in that way. Telo Rinpoche is a tulku of Drepung Gomang and I am from Gaden Shartse. The two monasteries are near each other and I visited him often in Drepung and have many good memories of our time together in India.
Despite having tricked and hurt my mother, Lobsang Gyatso was by all accounts very devoted to his guru, Trungsar Rinpoche. Most of my father’s wealth went to supporting the Dharma. In Tibet, he sponsored the construction of a huge temple in the Golok region and he donated to the temple a lot of sacred items that he kept and secretly took out of Tibet during the Chinese invasion, in order to safeguard them. These include priceless items such as the shoes of His Holiness the 6th Dalai Lama. And he kept all the things from his guru’s previous life until he saw his guru’s reincarnation again. Then he offered all these items back to his guru. Lobsang Gyatso also took care of all the needs of his teacher’s reincarnation, including his education to become a Geshe. In fact, for all the donations he made, my father would put it in the name of his teacher and he looked after his teacher very well.
Lobsang Gyatso was also very dedicated to His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama and served the Dalai Lama by making sure that the Tibetan language school in Taiwan was run very well and he did whatever he could to make sure that the Tibetan language and culture were preserved well. His Holiness the Dalai Lama knew my father very well and liked my father, and my father would go to visit His Holiness frequently and made many offerings to him.
Meeting my father
I met my father during Losar of 1987. Before I left for India, I spoke with my real mother Dewa Nimbo on the phone to tell her that I was leaving America to go to India to become a monk. And she said to me that if I ever needed help that I should go and see her teacher who was the great Mongolian Master Guru Deva Rinpoche who was also known as Sogpu Rinpoche. At that time, Guru Deva Rinpoche had a ladrang in Nepal.
Sogpu Rinpoche, or Guru Deva Rinpoche
I really loved being in the monastery very much but Ganden Monastery was impoverished and things were very difficult and I was destitute. I recalled my mother’s advice and I so wrote to Guru Deva Rinpoche who sent a telegram telling me to go see him in Nepal at once. My own gurus in Ganden advised that I should go. In fact, Kyabje Lati Rinpoche did a divination and the result was that it would be beneficial for me to go. But I did not have any money, so Kensur Rinpoche Jampa Yeshe was kind enough to lend me the money to travel to Nepal to meet with Guru Deva Rinpoche.
It was a few days before Losar and there I met a Tibetan man who was Guru Deva Rinpoche’s sponsor. Guru Deva Rinpoche had told me about this man before and at that time, I saw how kind Guru Deva Rinpoche was, that he would even introduce me to his own sponsor so that I could get some help. The Tibetan man was not very tall but had strong features and very penetrative eyes.
I spent some time talking to him during the few days when we were both at Guru Deva Rinpoche’s ladrang. He asked about me, about my background and who my mother and father were. I thought it was strange but I answered honestly that I didn’t know. I told the man that I never knew my father and in fact, I don’t really know much about my own background and whether I was Chinese, Tibetan, Mongolian or what.
And then the Tibetan man asked what I would do if I found out who my father was. I thought about the question and answered from my heart that if I were lucky enough to ever know my real father, I would visit him often, speak to him like a loving son would his father, find reasons to be proud of him and protect the relationship with my father. Mostly, I would just love him, as that was all I ever wanted to do with both my mother and father. The man listened to my answer and just said, “Ok” and that was that.
This photo was taken at Thubten Dhargye Ling Centre in Los Angeles in 1984. I had promised to take ordination and go to Gaden Monastery. H.H. Zong Rinpoche told me to live in his house (Zong Ladrang) in Gaden. I agreed to everything. Pictured here is H.H. Zong Rinpoche cutting a strand of my hair and blessing me as an indication of His acceptance. Click on image to enlarge.
The Tibetan man then asked about my plans and what I wanted to do. I told him that I went to India to fulfil my promise to Kyabje Zong Rinpoche to become a monk. And that I wanted to be a good monk, to study well and to do retreats and that I had very good teachers whom I wanted to study from and to serve. The Tibetan man just replied that I should be a good monk and that he would send me some money every month to help me. I was surprised to hear that but I was also filled with a sense of gratitude and relief at the same time.
Losar came around and on that morning I rushed out to purchase offerings for Guru Deva Rinpoche, his house manager who was very kind to me and also for Gangchen Rinpoche who was also in Nepal at the same time.
When I returned to Guru Deva Rinpoche’s ladrang there was a long queue of people waiting to meet Guru Deva Rinpoche and to receive his blessings. Guru Deva Rinpoche was sitting on his throne and seated opposite Guru Deva was the Tibetan man I had met and spoken to, and who had promised to send me money monthly to help me in the monastery.
I made three prostrations to Guru Deva Rinpoche, made a mandala offering and then presented the simple gifts that I had bought. I stood up and was about to leave when Guru Deva Rinpoche motioned me to sit down and indicated that he had something to tell me.
I still remember Guru Deva Rinpoche’s words succinctly because it made such an impact on me. Guru Deva Rinpoche said, “A long time ago your father was already married, then your father met your mother in Taiwan and they were interested in each other, and they did something in the middle of the night and you were produced.” Guru Deva Rinpoche said those words very gently in Tibetan in his elderly lama manner and told me what I had always wanted to know, which was who my real parents were.
Guru Deva Rinpoche told me directly but gently that my parents had made a mistake, which they regretted. But instead of being angry or hurt, that I should just move on with my life and not dwell on their mistakes.
Picture of Lobsang Gyatso in his later years. Click on image to enlarge.
Then after he finished the story Guru Deva Rinpoche said: “aren’t you going to turn around and greet your father?” And as I turned around, I saw the Tibetan man whom I had spoken to before and who had advised me to be a good monk and promised to help me. I knew his name was Lobsang Gyatso but it did not occur to me that he was my father.
But at the same time, I knew almost immediately because this stately, elderly and wealthy man who was full of confidence and pride before, was shaking and crying and trying to hide his emotions behind a lit cigarette. Tears were streaming down his face, which was not what a Tibetan man would do and then I thought to myself, “ok, he is my father”. I didn’t know exactly what to do but I gave him a hug and I also started crying, it was very emotional.
The first thing my father said to me when I hugged him was, “Please forgive me, I’m sorry.” That was his way of acknowledging his mistake but I had already forgiven him even before I met him during that Losar.
I was recognised as a Rinpoche a few months after that and my father visited me in Ganden and he sponsored the entire enthronement ceremony, offering of tea and bread to all the monks in the monastery, gifts to Ganden Monastery itself and also made an offering to Phukhang Khangtsen, the monastic fraternity that I belong to. He also met my guru, Kensur Rinpoche, and they had a private conversation. Kensur Rinpoche must have told him that I did not have a ladrang which all Rinpoches are supposed to have and so my father built me a house. It was my father’s gift to me. There’s no reason for him to do any of that for me. Maybe he felt proud of me or perhaps he felt he owed me something.
Around 2005, when I learnt that he had cancer, I called him up and spoke with him. I told my father that I am fine and do not need anything from him and that I will pray for him. I sent him flowers and Buddha statues and I did pujas for him. Perhaps that touched him a lot because his wife told me that he cried. Anyway, I am glad that I at least met my real father and through him, I was able to confirm who my real mother is and that my father and I were able to spend some time together and to speak regularly as father and son.
Tsem Rinpoche
For more interesting information:
- The Promise – Tsem Rinpoche’s inspiring biography now in ebook format!
- My Short Bio in Pictures
- My Mother
- Tsem Rinpoche’s Torghut Ancestry | 詹杜固仁波切的土尔扈特血统
- My Childhood in Taiwan…Revisiting…
- My Great Aunt the Princess
- I Like This Picture of My Mother
- My Uncle
- My Grandmother
- My Grandfather the Ruler of Xinjiang
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ரின்போசே வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும் அவரது மோசமான அனுபவம் அவரை எதிர்மறையாகவோ அல்லது கோபமாகவோ ஆக்கவில்லை. அதற்கு பதிலாக, சில நேரங்களில் வாழ்க்கை எவ்வளவு கடினம் என்பதை அவர் அறிந்திருந்ததால், மக்களின் வாழ்க்கையில் நேர்மறை ஆற்றலைக் கொண்டுவர அவர் தன்னால் முடிந்தவரை முயன்றார். தனக்கு எப்படி இருந்தது போல மற்றவர்கள் கஷ்டப்படுவதை அவர் விரும்பவில்லை.
1984 Los Angeles-Left to right: Geshe Tsultrim Gyeltsen, His Holiness Kyabje Zong Rinpoche, monk assistant to Zong Rinpoche and the 18-year-old Tsem Rinpoche prior to ordination. Read more- https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/category/me
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A poem inspired by seeing a picture of my teacher, Kyabje Zong Rinpoche…
In the sport of correct views,
all that is correct is just a view,
without permanence or substance.
As long as we hold onto views,
our sufferings are gathered
to be experienced without end.
Without the strong methods of emptiness
and compassion, bereft of merit,
we sink deeper without respite.
To arise from this samsara is but
a dreamscape on the deluded mind.
Therefore seek the guru, who confers the yidam,
hold your vows and fixate on liberation
free of new creations. Free of new experiences as
there are none.
~ Tsem Rinpoche
Composed in Tsem Ladrang, Kuala Lumpur on July 7, 2014
I was walking past a second hand shop on Western Ave selling old things. They had a Japanese-style clay Buddha which was beige in colour on the floor, holding the door open. I thought the shopkeeper would collect a lot of negative karma without knowing if he kept such a holy item on the floor as a doorstop. So I went in to talk to him, but he didn’t look like he wanted to talk or that he even cared. So I asked him the price and he said US$5. I purchased it so he did not collect more negative karma. I was 17 years old and that was in 1982.
I escorted my new Buddha home and washed it lightly and wiped it. I placed it on my altar and was happy with the Buddha. I would do my meditations, prayers, sadhanas, mantras and prostrations in front of this shrine daily. When I left for India in 1987, I could not bring this Buddha along and gave it to a friend. It was a nice size and I made offerings to this Buddha for many years in Los Angeles. In front of the Buddha I placed His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s photo. I remember I was so relieved that the price was affordable. But US$5 that time was still expensive for me but worth it I thought. But I was happy to have brought the Buddha home. Tsem Rinpoche
https://www.tsemrinpoche.com
Tsem Rinpoche at Kechara Forest Retreat, Bentong, Malaysia
H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche is very devoted to his root guru, H.H. Zong Rinpoche.
Rinpoche’s father Lobsang Gyatso is a Tibetan and is very hadsome. In one of my visits to Ganden I brought my cousin David Tan and sister Elsie to visit Rinpoche. They saw a picture of Rinpoche’s father hanging on the wall in Rinpoche’s bedroom. And was surprised that David Tan and Rinpoche’s father like so much alike. We commented that David Tan may be connected to Tsem Rinpoche in past life. One day when I was assistant to Rinpoche in Malaysia. Rinpoche ask me to call his half brother Lobsang Gyatso for him in Taiwan. Rinpoche’s father and half brother has the same name. A man answered. I asked him whether he
is Lobsang Gyatso. He answered yes. I then handed the phone to Rinpoche. It turned out to be Rinpoche’s father who was very angry with Rinpoche for coming out of the Monastery when he should be studying in the Monastery which is what his father wanted him to do. But if he had not come to Malaysia to raise funds many people would not have met him. And there would not be Kechara.
Upon reading this entry, I was touched. Then I moved on to read Justin’s and David’s comments and I had goosebumps; goosebumps not because I was terrified, but the goosebumps arose because I felt my heart wrench and tears welled up. I cannot imagine the pain that Rinpoche went through as a child, and the difficult conditions of his childhood. And I am so in awe of how he has been able to let go of all his sufferings, not focus on himself and delve in self-pity but instead has used his experience to benefit mankind, to spread dharma to ease the sufferings of others for most of his life. Relating this story again would’ve been hard for Rinpoche to do, as for many other people, but he has been able to put his feelings aside, to use his story as a mean to teach and benefit us; for us to understand compassion, to learn dharma. From reading the comments, I feel that your father, Lobsang Gyatso, is truly proud of you. Thank you, Rinpoche, for having such a big heart, for constantly guiding and teaching us (through dharma & buddhism) how to lead a more fulfilling life.
Rinpoche’s openness about so many things regarding Rinpoche’s life really does tell that Rinpoche doesnt have any ego and dosent hold on to anything except for Rinpoche’s vows. I find this kind of transparency and truthfulness hard to find as most people usually hold on to themselves tightly in order to ‘protect’ themselves against being backstabbed and all. And with posts like these, Rinpoche really showed me that there is nothing to be afraid of when we are honest to everyone, especially if our honesty benefits them and inspires them because it is a natural state of mind. And there is no reason or necessity to ‘hide the past’ and pretend that it never happened because we’re sucessful now.
which is why im somewhat more open about my heart and thoughts these days as opposed to the past where i’d usually hide or be sneaky about it….
Enlighten beings have control to opt for where they want to take rebirth, which family and circumstances, etc. They have the option to choose to become prince, an ordinary person or a pauper. It is not their karma to be what they choose to become but what they intend to teach us in that form to lead us away from our wayward ways ultimately towards liberation. Somehow, most Bodhisattvas choose to take rebirth in conditions which are rather challenging to the mind. Why? It’s an act of compassion to educate us (samsaric beings) in many ways by being the main example to forgive the wrongs that have been done to us, to be the first to seek forgiveness from others, etc. We need to realise that “pleasant or unpleasant” situations are the karma seeds ripening from our past deeds. We may have forgotten what we have done to and for others in the past but our karma had recorded every intended action being done and words being said. If we fear to take rebirth in adverse conditions, just avoid all forms of evil and be good and ready to help serve others. Watch our mind for it controls what we do and say. Still need help… go surf on any search engine and type “Tsem Tulku Rinpoche” and read what my Guru writes on his blog. Don’t have time to read then just go to You Tube and search for His Teachings. Just listen & simultaneously continue your work.
Wealth is not always beneficial and poverty is not always bad circumstances. It all depends on what people have made their lives out to be. In countries with Buddhist mass consciousness, if their children becomes a monk or ordained its a great honour and the family is very happy as it very beneficial for the family to have their children as monks.
However in ‘barbarian’ lands such as Malaysia it is heavily discouraged and that becoming a monk is like one is a loser, a failure in life. Its Barbaric because there is no mass consciousness of ideas and thoughts that can bring us to higher states of mind and happiness. Rinpoche is working to change that and it is already work in progress.
Reading about the great lineage masters you can tell these masters lived a life to benefit so many people. Can they really be depressed at the end of the day like a lay person who has squandered his precious human life with no spiritual practice or benefit at all.
I am happy that Rinpoche at least got reconciled with one of his blood parent. I rejoice that Rinpoche’s father supported Rinpoche during his time in Ganden, and that at the end of Rinpoche’s father’s life , he would at least know and be proud that at least one of his sons’s grew up to be supremely beneficial to countless beings. Isn’t that what we want as parents for our children.
Dear Elena and Li Kheng,your thoughts echoed mine too.A incarnate Lama’s mind is not ordinary . When we are faced with difficult circumstances we go into self pity and self destruction mode and then put blame on whole world. Rinpoche can transform adversities into positive actions which benefit others.All the 13 depts in one way or another were born from his lifes experiences.He endures suffering and set backs to become more compassionate, hence KSK manifested.He never leave out children in his dharma deeds and understand their needs because he did not have the normal happy childhood like many with their own mothers, hence our Kids Classes and KSA.Now he has asked Edu Dept to produce children’s books to start them on basic ethics.
I am so happy that members of his family like his father is with him in heart and spirit.
Rinpoche’s father, Lobsang Gyatso, has 3 children, 2 sons and a daughter before he met Rinpoche’s mother, Princess Dewa Nimbo. His eldest son has passed away and his second son Lobsang Puntsok lives in Taipei. Lobsang Gyatso’s daughter Sonam disappeared for the fear of her father’s wrath after she squandered her father’s piece of valuable land in Kathmandu. Lobsang Gyatso has since taken a second wife, Dechen after his first wife had passed away. Dechen is a very sweet and pleasant lady from Tibet who is now looking after Rinpoche’s father. They travel frequently to Chengdu and Aba, Tibet where Lobsang Gyatso came from. In his homeland, Rinpoche’s father is a known philanthropist and has built a temple to dedicate to his deceased mother and first wife. Seng Piow, Khong Soo Har and I visited Rinpoche’s relative in Aba, Tibet in the year 2005.
Elena, I agree with you that Rinpoche uses all his negative past experiences to create the best benefit for other. Unlike some who operate from bitterness and use their influence and authority to inflict difficulties upon other, Rinpoche maintains his pure compassion and use himself to heal others.
Although Rinpoche has experienced much ugliness in his life, he never fails to have faith and trust in the goodness of all beings.
In disclosing Rinpoche’s history and taking on the risk of judgement, Rinpoche becomes vulnerable in hope that his story will give us learning, realization and growth. For most of us, Rinpoche’s story should remind us of how fortunate we are and prompt us to not waste our precious human life and make the choice to be in contribution to others.
Rinpoche is like a phoenix that rises from his ashes. As we know, beings as resilient as the phoenix are rare…in fact, almost next to extinction. Therefore, this is also a reminder for us to cherish our kind Guru and trust him so that we will always be close to the Buddha and Dharma. Isn’t it shamefully astonishing that whatever we do in relation to our beloved Tsem Rinpoche, it is always us who benefit in the end?
Thank you David for sharing more details on Rinpoche’s father. When I read your comment my heart aches just imagining how Rinpoche must have felt when he was growing up without parental love. Yet, Rinpoche harbors neither ill feelings nor anger. Given any other person, me for example, I would probably freak out and throw a major fit if I ever met my parents who abandoned me… No wonder I have so much more merits to gain before I even come close to smelling Bodhicitta.
The part when Sogphu Rinpoche introduced them to each other was so touching. I can visualize the moment with Rinpoche’s father in tears and Rinpoche probably delighted, not even thinking or asking why he was abandoned. The father must have been filled with remorse and guilt the entire time, as he knew Rinpoche was his son before Rinpoche knew he was his father.
I rejoice that the father sponsored Rinpoche’s first Ladrang after Rinpoche’s enthronement. It gave him a way to “redeem” himself for his own conscience, and not to beg Rinpoche’s forgiveness, as Rinpoche did not hate him. It also allowed him to collect merits to sponsor a Great Lama.
There is a background to how Rinpoche reestablished connection with his father. I heard this story not too long ago and I hope I got the details right. Rinpoche when he first enter Gaden Monastery, he was in need of sponsorship for his food as he was literally starving. So he took his chance and wrote to a very famous wealthy high Lama by the name of Sogphu Rinpoche or Guru Deva Rinpoche. Not long later, he received a telegram instructing him to go to Nepal to meet him.
Rinpoche, who was without money wondered what should he do. So he told his Guru,(at that time, his Guru was the current abbot of Gaden Monastery, Khen Rinpoche Jampa Yeshe), who subsequently did a divination. The divination result was favourable for Rinpoche to go and so lend him money to go. Rinpoche made his arrangements and left for Nepal.
In Nepal, he arrived at Sogphu Ladrang and had audience with Sogphu Rinpoche. At the ladrang, Rinpoche found out that a sponsor of Taiwan is arriving shortly. He was later introduced to this sponsor and they had a many days of conversation where Rinpoche was invited to dine with the sponsor. The sponsor unusually would ask a lot of questions about his background.
During one audience with Sogphu Rinpoche, Tsem Rinpoche having so much faith that he was in the presence of a high Lama, made prostrations and performed his devotions. The Taiwanese sponsor was in the room at that time and Sogphu Rinpoche began a conversation and then he asked Tsem Rinpoche about his father and what would he want to do with his father if he ever met him again. At that time, Rinpoche knew nothing about his father.
Rinpoche answered that he would very much like to take care of his father and would take him to holy places like Bodhgaya and serve his father. Hearing this, the sponsor was holding back tears as he was smoking and then Sophu Rinpoche made the announcement that his sponsor was Rinpoche’s father. This shocked Rinpoche but he still gave his father a hug.
His father would eventually sponsor the building of Tsem Ladrang in Gaden moanstery and Tsem Rinpoche’s enthronement when he was officially recognised by the monastery. However, at the behest of his father’s root Guru’s changtzo (assistant), Rinpoche decided not to request for any more sponsorship from his father anymore so as it would not disrupt his father’s own sponsorship to his own Guru, Trungsar Rinpoche.
There are of course more details to this story but I always found it heartwrenching because it reveals Rinpoche’s own inner qualities.
I think it is great that I could learn more about your father. His picture lets me know that he is very handsome. Now I know where Rinpoche gets his glorious looks from. I hope that one day, Rinpoche will get a chance to meet his half brothers and hopefully bring them into the Dharma. I like this paragraph the most:
“This Mongolian Man’s sister had a wonderful son, who name is Telo Tulku Rinpoche of Kalmykia. We consider ourselves cousins in that way. Telo Rinpoche is a tulku of Drepung Gomang and I am from Gaden Shartse. The two monasteries are near eachother so we I visited him often in Drepung and had good times back in India.”
I lets me feel that people who are from the same family can become good friends no matter how distant. As sometimes I hear that cousins don’t usually get along, but they do.
Thank you Justin for sharing.
We are human, we tend to make mistake sometimes, but most important is we learn from our mistake and improve. There is such word in Chinese ‘even saint do make mistake’. But this is a reason for us to continuously repeat our mistake; we must learn from our mistake and move on, every mistake is a chance for us to improve or to transform. Never get tight down by the mistake we’ve done.
Therefore, if someone made mistake, they realized and try to repair or seek for forgiveness, we should not hold on to it, as it will make us suffer more, so what’s the point?
Rinpoche has shown us great example by forgiving his father, even though his father created so much suffering to him, but he did not hold on to it, learn to forgive is a criteria for us to gain happiness.
Rinpoche really has no ego by sharing all these family history and stories with everyone, be it good or bad. Many people, especially Asians, would have secretly swept them under the carpet!
I remember Rinpoche said Rinpoche was in ‘shock’ when Rinpoche was first introduced to Rinpoche’s birth father and as if ‘frozen in time’, was unable to move forward. When Rinpoche walked forward to him, he just stood there with tears streaming down his cheeks!
In a way, I felt Rinpoche’s father redeemed himself, partially if not fully, when he sponsored Rinpoche’s enthronement ceremony and also building a house for Rinpoche in the monastery.
When Rinpoche’s father visited Kathmandu Ladrang last year, he even prostrated to Rinpoche, his son’s throne! This is stripping off his humility! Rinpoche said that he has ‘mellowed down’ very much compared to his earlier days where he will give a lot of ‘advice’ to Rinpoche.
By leading with example, Rinpoche had affected people around Rinpoche as well as Rinpoche’s father!
Dear Rinpoche,
In echo of previous comments, you are completely without ego, and – like all great teachers – you don’t just teach by preaching, but rather you live by exactly every value you try to instil in your students.
The message that keeps coming through to me, personally, is “let go already!” So many times, we can hold on to past experiences and confusing, hurtful times as some sort of badge of honour to say that the world misunderstands us, and poor me, why do I have to endure all of this suffering. The reason our suffering feels so heavy is because we hold onto that heaviness so tightly. I know anytime I’m at the gym, the weights are heavy…until I let them go, then my arms feel very light and relaxed. Similarly, so it is with the mind: our pain is only heavy for as long as we choose to hold on to it.
For your endless compassion and energetic spirit, I thank you, Rinpoche.
Kindest regards,
Sandy
To be able to forgive one’s wrong doing and talk about it, no matter how big the problem was truly earns great respect in return. Letting go our ego, pride and ignorance is one way to practice true compassion and love for nothing in return. Through Rinpoche’s love and guidance in teachings has made me come to realize that we can let go, just as how Rinpoche let go of the pain and move on. I have learnt to let go problems and pain that I have kept for some time. Rinpoche is telling all of us that it is easy to let go. Instead of sulking and having self pity, we can channel the pain and hatred into love, such as helping other people who needs it, benefiting and bringing Dharma to people who needs it and let them know the TRUE HAPPINESS they deserve.
In Rinpoche’s sharing of the story of his father, we can see how clearly one’s actions would have lasting consequences or effects. Hence, cause and effect. Though we may not realise how much damage or good our actions would be at the time we commit them, the results would always come back to haunt us or to remind us of what we did. In Rinpoche’s case, it is very clear that Rinpoche is unlike an average person who may be embroiled in one’s saddened state or negative emotions. Instead, Rinpoche became someone solely dedicated to bringing happiness and benefit to others – to the point that Rinpoche would not hesitate to share his personal painful stories so that others may learn from them. Rinpoche is truly selfless in every sense of the word.
We heard about Rinpoche’s father’s visit to Tsem Ladrang, Kathmandu when Beng Kooi was there – she told us that he was very alert and interested in all that Rinpoche had accomplished. He was very happy to be there and in one of the photos, he stood very close to Beng Kooi and put his arm around her, as if in great support of her and all that she is doing for Rinpoche. He even did prostrations to Rinpoche, his son’s, throne in the main audience room – which indicates that he is proud and happy of his son.
They have not maintained much contact over the years, but Rinpoche’s father does have strong respect for the Dharma and the teachings. It was his father who sponsored the first floor of Tsem Ladrang in Gaden Monastery, following Rinpoche’s enthronement – this would be Rinpoche’s first real home of his own, his whole life.
In his own way, Rinpoche’s father did also support Dharma a lot and was one of the main sponsors of his own Guru. This is fortunate, the last but rather strong link to connect Rinpoche with his father.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing what we know must never be easy for Rinpoche. It inspires much faith in Rinpoche for all your unceasing compassion and tenacity that you have shown throughout your life, despite the pain.
Rinpoche never hated His father, Lobsang Gyatso despite all the hardship that Rinpoche suffered later in the years. I remembered in one of the talks, Rinpoche told us that Rinpoche met Lobsang Gyatso for the first time in Nepal through another Rinpoche who arranged it without both of them knowing. Both of them cried and hugged each other when they were told that they were father and son. Rinpoche told us that Lobsang Gyatso could not stop crying and repeatedly asked Rinpoche to forgive him. It is a touching story for me. Many who went through the same would not have forgiven it so easily like Rinpoche.
Rinpoche, thank you for sharing such private matters with us. You are truly without ego – many people, especially from the Asian culture, would not disclose such things because they feel it would lower their mystique, put them and their families to shame…but you use your life always to benefit others, and turn your painful experiences into a reason for you to create projects that save others from the same kind of pain and suffering. Kechara Saraswati Arts ( http://www.kechara.com/arts ) always reminds me of when you told us you’d draw pictures of Buddhas, or Xerox them from books you found in the library during your unhappy childhood. Kechara Soup Kitchen ( http://www.kechara.com/ksk ) came about because you went hungry as a teenager when you ran away from home. Kechara Discovery’s pendants ( http://www.kechara.com/b2b ) relate to the way you would draw Buddha pendants for your cousins and friends to wear.
Thank you Rinpoche, for showing us that from pain, beautiful things can arise and we don’t have to be a prisoner of our past experiences.
Rinpoche’s father used to work very closely with the Dalai Lama and also had a good relationship with the Panchen Lama too.
Although Rinpoche is estranged from his mother, who refuses to have any contact with him or his students, Rinpoche’s father is a different case altogether.
I actually had the chance to meet Rinpoche’s father when he and his wife visited Kathmandu in early 2009. It was an honour to show the father my Guru around the Ladrang, to serve him tea, and to invite him to join us in the daily butterlamp offerings and prayers.
You can read more about the visit here: http://kechara.com/?p=671