What Will Be Your Legacy?
It was nice that my sister, her husband and daughter came to Kuala Lumpur from Perth, Australia to usher in 2017 with my family and I.
As we lost our Mother in September 2016, we spoke a lot about Mother as we travelled through memory lane. As we were remembering Mother, her virtues and her non-virtues, my niece who was very close to Mother burst into tears.
Such are her memories of her grandmother, a beautiful lady who cared and loved her under any circumstances. And she missed her so.
My sister and I, being the daughters, had lovely memories of Mother who would sacrifice “things” so that we could go to school with new uniforms every year, and somehow it was also very important to her that we got a new dress and a pair of new shoes for Chinese New Year and on our birthdays. I suppose she would have loved to have given more new clothes and shoes, but since she could not afford to do so, she would give them to us on special occasions like these.
On our birthdays, she would prepare the birthday girl a chicken drumstick to be eaten without having to share with any of the other six siblings. There are seven siblings in the family and having to share was routine. At times, the shared portions were quite small.
When Mother migrated to Perth, Australia, her generosity followed her and she made many friends and would loyally support them if they ran any businesses especially if it was a restaurant.
Remembering Mother, what stood out for us was her generosity in helping and in giving. She loved to give gifts and in the later part of her life when she could afford to do so, she would buy loads of them to give away.
Then my sister and I asked each other what our legacy would be; how would we be remembered?
Generally, this is a question each and every one of us should be asking. HOW WILL I BE REMEMBERED?
Will you be remembered for having a building or place or space named after you? Will we be remembered for our virtues or our flaws as all of us have both these personality trends.
It is my humble opinion and wish that I be remembered in the heart of people whom I have touched and been with; to leave any space that I have been in better off; to always have conducted myself with respect for others and hold others with care and kindness; to share of my material belongings with others.
As a Buddhist, I would also like to be remembered to have assisted in creating an institution that will preserve the Dharma. If I can achieve this goal, it will be just fine that nobody even remembers me by name, but that there is a space for the Dharma to grow continuously.
Dear friends who are reading this, what will be your legacy? Having identified your wish for a legacy, will be the catalyst to live your life differently, not better or worse but probably differently.
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What you leave behind is not what is engraved in the stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others….quoted.
I do not think much about legacy .As its what i give,create,impact and contribute to help,benefit others in my life without any agenda.Doing good holds the power to transform ourself on the inside,to be kind,caring,helpful and compassion as taught by Rinpoche.I love to ,even though i have little for myself and will do whatever i can .
Thank you Datuk May,for sharing your beautiful thoughts with us,which will inspired many of us to do more to benefits others before the time is up.
Thank you Datuk May for this article.
What you said is absolutely true. If you contemplate on this question of what kind of legacy you want to leave behind, it will guide you and direct you to how you would lead your life, and a change in your attitude.
I think many people lack direction in life. It is common to hear, “I don’t know what I want, what I want to do”, and therefore, lack something to aim towards and look forward to.
When we pass on, what kind of life did we want to have led. We all want a happy one, a peaceful one, but how do we reach that point? We are happy, not with acquisitions, not with materials, they could be a by-product of the legacy we want to leave behind, but we are truly satisfied and happy, when we achieve what we aimed to, what we set out for, whatever that may be. I think, we first must start off, knowing what we want to do, to determine, what our legacy will be.
When my time comes, I would like to leave this lifetime knowing that I have done all I can to make a difference. I do not want to leave a legacy of regrets, all the ‘I should have done this”, “What if I had ….?”, “Why didn’t I do more?”
It is ok if people do not remember who I am as long as whatever good I have done in this lifetime lives on, whatever Dharma work I have done continues to benefit many.
Thank you for this thought provoking post, Datuk May. It made me reflect on something that did not cross my mind but will help shape the person I would like to be, a better version of myself, someone is kinder, more generous and selfless.
People always expect return on some contribution being done especially in charity events. When the return was under their expectations then they will feel sad or unhappy.
As Rinpoche said, Dharma is a teachings to transform our mind to become bodicitta or selfless to benefit others without condition. Once we practiced selfless mind, our mind will not be affected by others people reaction.
What will be my legacy? I think this is not really important to me anymore once I know Dharma teachings from Rinpoche.
Thanks Datum May for sharing to benefit more people.
Jason
There are many aspects in life that we can leave our legacy behind. It’s not what we leave for others that matters, it’s what we leave in them that matters most. In corporate world, I wish I be remembered that I have set high standards and delivered those standards with integrity; that I have grown true leaders who are self-disciplined, accountable, truly care and sincere. I wish I will remain in people’s heart as a leader who dare to dream big, risk more and had transformed the lives of many others.
The greatest legacy I want to leave my children is happy memories. I hope I will be the model for them to know how to love unconditionally, to treat others with honesty and sincerity, to truly care for people and the environment wholeheartedly. I wish I will give enough guidance to my children to demonstrate them how to be grateful and appreciate everything we have or encounter in life.
I hope this legacy will live on forever and make a lasting, positive imprint on people I know and touching lives of many others.
Thank you Datuk May for this simple yet profound question. Eventually, we all will die one day, and eventually people will talk a bit about us before others will forget about us and move on in their lives. How long they will remember us depends on how much effect we had on them. I feel what is important is we always bring benefits to the people we come in contact, and I think that’s why Rinpoche is always insistent on us brining benefits to others.
Dear Datuk May,
Thank you for this concise and profound article. I have never thought of leaving any legacy,but I hope I can do more like our beloved guru,Tsem Rinpoche has been doing to benefit so many people. To me he is the best guru and my hero. To go all out with a compassionate heart and mind to help whoever needs help is not easy. I truly wish to be able to be like Rinpoche within my best abilities to bring peace and happiness to more people over social media.Thank you very much for your wonderful sharing and also giving me this opportunity to pen my thoughts too.
Dear Datuk May,
I just believe that being kind, helpful and or perhaps just give a smile to brighten other people’s day. For Dharma, (from what I understand and wish to achieve) being a lineage holder is very precious thing to do.
Thank you.
Thank you for this concise and profound article, Datuk May.
The simple truth is, if we are like the majority of the people on earth, we will probably not be remembered for anything after a while. That may not be what we wish to hear but in fact most people do know use their lives for anything that’s truly remarkable and beneficial to a wide community of people. What we engage in when we are alive is commonly geared towards endeavors benefitting principally ourselves and the people in our inner circle and so when that benefit becomes diluted over a few generations, so dilutes the memory also.
There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about this and it is in my opinion, just a factual statement.
Those people whose names we remember and speak with some fondness, admiration and gratitude are those who used their lives for the good of others, and left a non-financial, and hence non-exhaustible endowment that continues to prosper people in incredible ways today.
If indeed we wish to leave a legacy then we cannot live an ordinary self-centred life and here most people will struggle. How does one live an ordinary live and expect to leave an extraordinary legacy? Dharma provides this opportunity.
When I hear Tsem Rinpoche speak of the gentle and kind monks whom Rinpoche has met, regardless of their rank in the monastery, I am filled with a lot of faith in the Dharma. And although I have never met these monks and practitioners, I experience the legacy they leave behind, which is the inexhaustible legacy of Hope.
Interestingly whatever legacy we leave behind, the law of karma dictates that it us who will return to benefit or suffer from it.
Those are real questions, that perhaps such answers can give a us a glimpse on how we wish to be remembered when we leave this life.
I feel many people look for a reason to live, or fine meaning in their lives, as Buddhist I never really thought there was a point to my life, I just can’t stop my rebirth but thats not to say I cannot live a meaningful life. We can put meaning into our lives according to Tsem Rinpoche, a live that benefits and helps others steeped in the dharma is one of meaning.
Dear Datuk May,
Thank you for writing and sharing with your awakening article that makes us to ponder about the purpose of our life. Everyone will have respective goals or lifetime achievement that can make one to feel great, satisfied and accomplished after number of years in accumulating wealth, materials, possession, position, fame and all the items we can list out to measure one’s success in life, so that one can become a success story for others to follow and remember. However, no one can skip death and eventually no one can control one’s fame, position, possession after one’s death.
Previously before I have engaged with Dharma activities in Kechara, I have very little knowledge about Buddhism, karma, death and reincarnation. My aim in my life at that time was to accumulate all the wealth, possession, money and anything that can keep us happy and excited as much as and as fast as I could. However, after I have started to attend to Dharma sharing carried out by Dharma siblings in Kechara, I have started to learn about impermanence and death. My mind and my way of thinking have started to change little by little, which lead me to understand that we cannot control our money, fame, materials and possession with us after our death. Apparently, no one will remember all our worldly fame, possession and money forever as time will fade away after our death.
Ever since I have started to learn Dharma in Kechara, I would always want to contribute for the growth of Dharma and provide my support in any Dharma works or events as much as I can. Although this legacy is not visible and not able to be quantified in number, I believe by helping others to gain happiness and lessen sufferings through Dharma will bring more benefits to many people directly and indirectly, as those receivers of my assistance might help other people similarly in Dharma.
May the Dharma prevail and continue to grow in order to destroy the delusions and ignorance of all sentient beings until samsara ends.
Thank you with folded hands,
kin hoe
Thank you Datuk May for this timely reminder. Often we are too caught up with life’s struggles and goals that we are too busy to stop and think of what we are doing all that for. We are fulfilling our responsibilities. But all that is centered around self and family. When we reach the end of our lives, if we are still coherent enough to reflect, would we be satisfied with our “achievement” thus far and leave happy? Would we have left a mark in the world, or is the only mark we leave behind a hole in the ground?
On the other hand, some people desperately want to leave a mark in the world, but not necessarily for a noble cause. They chase for fame and fortune. When fans’ and followers’ interest wane as time goes by, they try to stir up publicity, does not matter if it is positive or negative, just to get people to continue looking at and talking about them. They need to be in the news. They crave star-power and want to be influential, i.e. they want what they say to carry weight. They make their name into a brand and that’s the legacy they want to leave behind.
But either scenario, it is all centered around the self. Maybe some people benefited from them while they were alive. Once they are dead, everything stops.
But leaving a legacy in a dharmic sense is more than that. One can quietly benefit others while remaining unknown or one can become famous and influential and benefit others on a larger scale. The results of the work continue benefiting even when one is long gone. It is like “residual income” that continues to bring returns even when on has stopped investing. Great examples of this are, sponsoring and setting up dharma centres, teaching and writing and having them recorded and made available, sponsorship of any kind whether in time, effort or funds. All that is never wasted and does not stop accruing benefit even after death. It goes without saying that the more we do, the more benefit. That is the kind of legacy worth leaving behind.
Thank you Datuk May for sharing your thoughts in this article. It is a good reminder for me on what we want to achieve ultimately. Chasing after money, career, buying a bigger house or doing something that can help and benefit others with our time and resource or even sharing good values so our family and friends can remember and apply.
I remember my grandma being a very hardworking, generous and kind person. She always remind me to give and help others eventhough she does not have a lot. For example, when she cooked, she will always share it with our neighbours and friends even if she only has little. I am thankful for the things she thought me.
Moving forward, I wish to live my life with good motivation and may the things I do will be able to help others.
In this era, most of us are in the “Hungerford Game”, where everyone is craving and using various methods to obtain what we want with / without having thoughts on the consequences. What we want are mostly materials that only bring us very short periods of happy moments.
Etc., to be a millionaire, to own some houses and red horses. These luxury materials will provide temporary happiness in life, however, not long later, it will vanish and we will crave more for our endless desires.
I was once going to that direction and chasing over nothing. Fortunately, I’m now on the right path where I set my ultimate goal in life is to serve and benefit people and animals.
Thank you Datuk May for writing this article. It really got me thinking what will my legacy be. I don’t need everyone to know me or know what I have been doing. I think the most important is that as long as I have been doing Dharma and benefitting people will be my goal. May I be able to help more people to lessen their sufferings _/\_
This article is a beautiful and warm message to remind us to remember the kindness of our forefathers. We live in a world where nothing is permanent; it is inevitable that people will go through birth, sickness, and death. In my own experience, when my father passed away, all that remained was the memory of him; good, bad or ugly, depending who is walking down the memory lane.
So, the question of “how we would like our legacy to be after we die” is indeed something we should ponder now and act on it. And using Stephen Covey’s technique in his infamous 7 Habits of the Highly Effective People (Habit 2 – Begin with the end in mind), we must use our ability to envision in our mind what we cannot see at present the legacy we would like to leave behind.
Is it a legacy of chaos and more suffering? Or a legacy of joy and kindness? Whether it is for the family, the loved ones or for the community at large, I certainly hope that everyone will do something now so that we will all be remembered fondly. Thank you, Datuk May.
Datuk May,
Your article here got me thinking. This topic actually surfaced in my mind when I first came to Kechara in 2013. At that time, I didn’t give it further thinking as I was engrossed in resolving the many obstacles and challenges in my career.
Fast forward four years to now, I have to think about this matter eventually and the opportune time is now as we need to set the foundation so that we set our legacy right. Of course, physical resources are important ingredients to this end. We have to manage with whatever resources we have to generate this legacy.
I guess at this point in time, my initial thoughts would be to leave behind work that allow the Dharma to be strongly entrenched and to grow as far as possible. This is just an initial thought and would be my objective eventually.
Thank you Datuk for sharing.
Warm regards
Lum Kok Luen