Sometimes What I Am is Not Me
(By Tsem Rinpoche)
Dear friends around the world,
I came across this interesting article on my Facebook news feed. I read it and realised that it is something I should share with others. What caught me is the author’s realisation:
“My self-deception was exposed for the sham that it was, and what was revealed was what had always been there at the bottom of it all. My total insecurity.”
Like many of us, the author identified and put value in something that had no inherent or permanent value to who he really is or should be within himself. Without knowing who he is and where his real value came from, his ego attached itself to something external and even superficial. He realised this. This realisation came from his teacher. This is a must-read story. Not too long yet if contemplated is very beneficial to see how the mind works within our own samsara. We want name, title, labels, careers, brands to identify our self worth when we they are empty of any worth and we even hide behind them at times not facing ourselves. We are actually above that and beyond the material. We have to realise this. Through the powerful teachings of his monk teacher, he came to realise this. We all need to realise this. When we have spiritual protection, all other forms of protection is irrelevant already. Whatever we work at, or try to achieve and whatever goals we have become not important anymore. With spiritual protection, we are safe. Safe from the world, safe from our ego and safe from our pain.
I recommend everyone to read this story at least two times and contemplate. It is penetrating, deep and we need to apply it in our own lives. I am reproducing here strictly to benefit others on the path of self-realisation and happiness.
Good luck.
Thank you Mr Miles Kessler for sharing this and my humblest obeisance to Sayadaw U Pandita who passed away this year 2016 at the age of 94. He is and was a great monk master of the highest calibre. May we be blessed by him and pure sangha always.
Sincerely,
Tsem Rinpoche
When You Have Spiritual Protection, You Don’t Need Martial Protection
August 25, 2016 | Miles Kessler
It was early 1998 and I had just finished an eight year phase of life, living in Japan. I had been studying Aikido full time with my teacher Morihiro Saito Sensei, at the famous Iwama dojo. Even though I had achieved a sense satisfaction in what I had accomplished during this time, there was also a subtle itch of wanting something more, something I wasn’t finding in my Aikido life in Japan.
When I left Japan at the end of 1997 I was told by Saito Sensei to return to the U.S., open a dojo and start teaching Aikido. In many ways I was ready for this commitment. I had been training intensively in Iwama for eight years, was in my mid-thirties, had gotten my 4th dan, had become fluent in Japanese, and I was even translating for Sensei. I had learned much about Japanese culture from the inside, and I had been teaching Aikido two times a week in Japan for three years. I felt confidence in who I had become and this confidence served as a solid foundation upon which I had built my identify. However, beneath all my confidence I could not deny that there was something missing. I had a spiritual calling that could no longer ignore and it was this calling that became the guide for my next move in life.
“I had a spiritual calling that could no longer be ignored and it was this calling that became the guide for my next move in life.”
It seemed that all of my growth and development, as valuable and beautiful as it was, was only touching one dimension of my existence, spreading out nicely on the surface, but not penetrating to the core of my being. So I decided to travel for a year to seek out spiritual teachers and undertake formal spiritual practices.
During the last three years in Japan I had taken on regular practices which included “A Course in Miracles”, and daily 30 min. meditations. These were all informal self practices done without a teacher, or guide. I was largely inspired by the many spiritual books that I was reading at the time. Two of the books that had a particular impact on me, were by American Vipassana teachers; Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfeld. Both of them had practiced in Burma and from all the teachers they spoke about in their books, one name kept catching my attention. He was the Burmese meditation master Sayadaw U Pandita. In fact, when I first read his name, U Pandita, it had the karmic effect of working its way deep into my consciousness. I really connected with the method of practice that they taught and with that inspiration I decided to make my way to Burma, to find U Pandita and to practice Vipassana meditation.
Even though I was quite sure I wanted to commit to a formal spiritual practice I was still quite attached to my own ideas (and baggage) about Aikido being a ‘spiritual path’. After all, O Sensei’s life was a testament to the classic spiritual journey. So when I began my own spiritual journey I managed to pack the ‘Spiritual Aikido’ ideal tightly into my traveler’s backpack. I did this by conveniently planning that my visit to Burma would coincide with an Aikido seminar that a Japanese teacher friend of mine would be leading. My plan was to do a 10 day retreat, then the one-week Aikido seminar, followed by another 10 day retreat. Spiritual practice and Aikido practice. I had arranged things nicely so I could have my cake and eat it too. Perfect! Or so I thought…
After a two month teaching stint in New Zealand, and some rest and relaxation in Thailand, I decided it was time to get on track with the main purpose of my trip, meditation in Burma. I caught a plane to Rangoon and made a bee-line to the Panditarama Meditation Center, and to U Pandita himself.
“I was sure U Pandita would be impressed. After all, who wouldn’t be.”
Upon arriving at the center I was told that Sayadaw U Pandita was away for the day and wouldn’t get back until the evening and that I should check into a hotel and come back the next day. I explained that I had come a long way, and that I was there to meditate, so they allowed me to sit and wait in the office until U Pandita got back. He eventually did return after seven hours, and when he was told I had been waiting to see him he glanced over his shoulder at me (I had a sense that he was sizing me up), and he agreed, with a slight sense of irritation, to interview me. I was quite confident I could overcome what seemed to be U Pandita’s first impression of me. Having learned much about discipline and proper etiquette while living in Japan I did my best to showcase these qualities to him. In fact, I was sure U Pandita would be impressed. After all, who wouldn’t be.
When I entered U Pandita’s quarters I was immediately struck by his strong presence. It completely dominated the room, indeed the whole meditation center. I also had an uneasy sense that he saw a part of me that I wasn’t seeing. So whilst there was an immediate feeling of trust, I also felt exposed and unsettled in a very subtle way. Nonetheless, I did my best to make a favorable impression while answering through the translator several questions from U Pandita.
He asked about my background in meditation (self practice for the past two years), my purpose for coming to meditation (spiritual liberation), and why Panditarama (I wanted to train in the Mahasi tradition). U Pandita also asked me about my plans in Burma and I made a feeble attempt to explain that I planned to do a 10 day retreat, then leave to attend the Aikido seminar for a week, after which I’d come back for another ten days of meditation practice. He briefly asked what Aikido was, but it seemed that this got lost in translation and I didn’t think he got it. Nonetheless, it didn’t feel like the right time for further explanation, but I was sure that if the opportunity ever arose again to have a conversation about Aikido and spirituality, then all would be well. For now all that mattered was that U Pandita agreed to allow me to stay and practice on probation. I was in!
“I knew that here, in this teacher, I could place my absolute trust.”
During the next ten days of practice, I received daily interviews and Dharma talks with U Pandita and I soon understood why he had such a renowned reputation. Here was the master I had been seeking my whole life. Having been a monk for over 70 years and a meditation teacher for 50, his wisdom and skillful guidance was like nothing I had ever encountered before. But even more impressive was his presence as a spiritual warrior. I had never experienced in another person, such complete fearlessness, confidence, uncompromising determination and skill in teaching. I didn’t really have the capacity to understand it fully, but U Pandita had a strength that was unshakable. It would take me many, many months of practicing on retreat, indeed a few years, before I began to understand the source of that unshakable strength. Here was a man deeply grounded in the absolute truth, the ‘Dhamma’ of ultimate reality, and it literally made everything in me that was relative, feel extremely limited. I knew that here, in this teacher, I could place my absolute trust.
The irony did not escape me. I had spent much of my life in the martial arts seeking for the warrior ideal. Now here I was meeting that ideal in the form of a simple monk. A man who was deftly wielding the sword of truth and the shield of concentration together with a heart of loving kindness and compassion.
U Pandita taught that 100% of all the suffering in the world had its source in the mind. The world, he said, is full of external enemies, but it is the internal enemies that are far more dangerous. These enemies come in the form of mental impurities and the purification of the mind is where all true battles must be fought. In this he was uncompromising and relentless. He would be brutally direct when necessary. The Buddha, he taught, was like a doctor, who knew exactly which medicine was needed to cure, or awaken the patient. All the medicines he gave fell into two types; sweet medicine (loving kindness, compassion and support), and bitter medicine (truth, discipline and challenge). U Pandita unapologetically proclaimed that he gave the bitter medicine. Sooner or later all yogis got to experience a full dose of his tough love, and if that didn’t scare them off then they also had the experience of it’s cure. I had finally found the teacher I wanted to be practicing with, the practice I wanted to be doing, and the place I wanted to be practicing. This was it! I just had to go and attend an Aikido seminar and then I’d be right back.
So when the first ten days were finished, I packed my backpack and headed off the seminar. On my way out I stopped in the center’s office to let them know that I would be back in one week. The office staff member stepped out to pass on my news and upon returning I was told, much to my surprise, that in fact, I could not come back. Of course there must have been some misunderstanding. With full confidence that I could clear this up I insisted on meeting with U Pandita to explain my situation and get permission to return.
“So there we all were, on some sort of cosmic-karmic threshold. The incoming Buddha, the ever present U Pandita, and the outgoing me.”
I was asked once again to wait, and sat in U Pandita’s interview room meditating, and in my mind working out the story I would tell him, so that I could come back. After about three hours I was finally taken to see U Pandita, as he was overseeing the unloading of a new Buddha statue to the monastery. In another moment of irony, I thought to myself “the Buddha has just arrived, and I am leaving”. So there we all were, on some sort of cosmic-karmic threshold. The incoming Buddha, the ever present U Pandita, and the outgoing me.
U Pandita gave me half of his attention and asked what I wanted. I explained my situation with the Aikido seminar and that I would be back in a week for more practice. He told me that I had done well but I couldn’t come back until the next time I was in Burma. I agreed that I hadn’t planned things well and apologized for this, but explained that I had to go to the Aikido event. I apologized for this and said I was sorry that I was leaving in the middle of my stay, and told him that I really wanted to come back and continue the practice in a week. Yet, somehow, U Pandita didn’t seem moved by my display of sincerity.
I was beginning to feel that my reasons for leaving were perhaps a little weak, but I was convinced that this was a legitimate excuse. If I could just convey that to U Pandita surely he would understand. After all, we were talking about Aikido, a spiritual martial art, and it was just a matter of convincing him. So I told him I wasn’t planning another trip to Burma and I wanted to meditate more on this trip. He responded with a glance and deafening silence. My steadfast confidence began to waiver and I suddenly had a sense that I was standing on thin ice. I further explained that I was going to be the translator for the whole event and that I was a key person for the seminar. More silence silence from U Pandita and an uncomfortable feeling that I was sliding further out onto the thin ice. I continued in a somewhat desperate manner to explain that the Aikido seminar was planned months ago and that I had already committed to going. Then U Pandita asked me again “What is Aikido?” (This wasn’t the Aikido conversation I had envisioned). Somehow it was translated as a ‘martial art’. As I stood there hat in hand, there was something profoundly unsettling about the way U Pandita was looking at me. He was quite generously giving me all the rope I wanted. I was methodically wrapping it around my neck. The intensity of U Pandita’s silence was like a mirror and the reflection was undeniable and unsettling. I was slowly beginning to understand that I was choosing to leave a 2,500 year-old practice of spiritual liberation to go practice a ‘martial art’…for my ego. The ice began to crack.
“When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection.”
Then, turning on me with full presence, U Pandita looked me in the eye and in English said, “When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection.” It is hard to describe the effect these words had on me in that moment. Up until then I had invested many years in the belief that Aikido was a ‘spiritual’ martial art. O Sensei was proof of this. I loved the martial training and had dedicated my life to its perfection. I assumed that it would naturally lead me to the spiritual if I ‘just kept training’. An unquestioned promise of a future enlightenment if I just kept doing my technical Aikido training. But I was attached to the martial and I wasn’t willing to let it go to move into the spiritual aspect that was in fact, my heart’s deepest desire. Indeed, this was the very reason why I had come to Burma. But in this unbareable moment of truth, the uncomfortable fact was that I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. I was clinging to years of investment in Aikido as I understood it at that time, and it was the very thing that was holding me back.
“My self-deception was exposed for the sham that it was, and what was revealed was what had always been there at the bottom of it all. My total insecurity.”
My future and past were all hanging in the balance in that very moment with an unbearable intensity. Then with U Pandita’s words, “When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection,” the ice suddenly gave way and I fell into the abyss. My knees buckled and the ground seemed to become unstable. In a moment, with one perfectly placed zen whack, I was stripped of my identity. I was totally disoriented and was left with nothing to hold on to. My self-deception was exposed for the sham that it was, and what was revealed was what had always been there at the bottom of it all. My total insecurity. I was at a complete loss as to what to do, so I grasped for the only thing that was left. I gave in and surrendered. In that moment I told U Pandita I wouldn’t go to the seminar. With tears in my eyes I begged him to let me stay and practice. He then did something I never even conceived as being possible. He unceremoniously told me “No” and sent me away like a schoolboy.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had been dismissed. I was thrown out. Completely disoriented I hefted my backpack, (which was suddenly very heavy) and stumbled out of the monastery in a daze. I found my way to a taxi and about half an hour later I was sitting in a Japanese restaurant in downtown Rangoon drinking a beer with my Japanese friend. It was totally surreal, and utterly meaningless. Still in a daze from this ego destroying encounter with U Pandita, I did my best to put on a good front and engage my Japanese friend in Aikido talk. He on and on about how great the coming seven-day Aikido seminar was going to be. Of course it wasn’t.
When the time came to leave Burma I stopped by the monastery on the way to the airport to ask U Pandita if I could return to practice on my next visit to Burma. U Pandita gave his permission and six months later I was sitting my first three month intensive Vipassana retreat with him. My ‘year of travel’ turned into eight, and I spent each winter returning to Burma for meditation retreats.
You may be wondering why I am sharing this story as one of my significant, if not my most significant Aikido experience. This was the point that all of the false ideas that I had built about Aikido were unpleasantly exposed. I was sure of Aikido’s spiritual depth but I was looking for it in the wrong place. The spiritual is not to be found in the physical, nor does it exist in the martial. It can be expressed in these realms but its source is beyond. My attachment to Aikido was the very thing that prevented me from realizing this. And this encounter with U Pandita was the beginning of correcting that mistaken view.
It was a hard lesson, but it changed my path in Aikido. Indeed it changed the direction of my whole life. Because it was only after I managed to let go of what I had made important in Aikido, that Aikido’s deeper value began to emerge.
And it happened with the words of a simple monk:
“When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection”.
[Source: http://www.theintegraldojo.com/single-post/2016/08/25/When-You-Have-Spiritual-Protection-You-Dont-Need-Martial-Protection]
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Very interesting and inspiring article. It is very true our human perception toward a point of view like what is right or wrong there is always a mistake or I should said in most time is wrong or is not bringing any benefits to us.
All our problems arise from the mind. So to solve them, we need to work on the mind. Hence, no martial arts can be greater than spirituality. Thank you very much for sharing this profound story with us.
Just as Miles was so attached to his label of Aikido Martial Arts expert, thinking of Aikido as a spiritual path, when it was something ‘external’ , and something his ego hid behind, so too are we attached to labels like being a ‘dharma teacher’ or ‘puja guide’, etc to identify who we are and to hide behind it all our insecurities. Only a spiritual teacher like our Guru, Tsem Rinpoche, and Miles’ spiritual teacher, Sakya Pandita, can see through our self-deception , show us our true nature and self, cut us free from our ego , and set us on the true mind transforming spiritual path.
Yes, spiritual protection is all we need. Seeking and securing this protection , all else pale into insignificance
To me this is a story of a student meet his Guru. We always being set up with our deluded mind to proceed the wrong path in our lives. We do not see it wrong because that’s the nature of samsara. We do not know who we are. That’s why many people became lost in certain stage in their lives feeling empty even though they have everything in their lives. Not knowing what can they do about it. But i rejoice for those who are being hit by this “lost” feeling.. “feeling something missing and need to look for it”. Yes.. this is a calling. But even so, we always doubt and fear of loosing the things that we have. Those things that we have is what we had worked so hard in our lives to achieve, it’s already in our blood and back in our mind, we do not want to let go. We gave ourselves a lot of excuses. but then deep down inside we feel happy, peace and freedom when we engage in Dharma. Why? that’s the real us. We have actually came home.
Those who are very fortunate like Mr. Miles Kessler who had met his Guru and through the Guru’s powerful teachings, sees the value of Dharma and the skilful of the Guru engaged him to Dharma.
Reading this articles recalled me a lot of how Rinpoche skilfully engaged us in Dharma. Rinpoche’s teachings constantly penetrate our minds, setting the imprints and inspired us everyday into Dharma. Never once Rinpoche let go of any chance to do so. Rinpoche is tirelessly teach and engaging us in Dharma work so that training us for the 6 paramitta and preparing us for the higher practice when we are ready.
I rejoice for those who see the value of Dharma and working around their Gurus, holding their vows and samaya. Only the very fortunate one can meet the Guru. When you have one, never let go and go all the way with him.
Thank you Rinpoche for your guidance, love and training. The only way to repay your kindness is the mind transformation so that one day we can engage in higher practice like Vajra Yogini. I prostrate to my Guru’s feet.
An interesting article.
“When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection”.
-This statements point to me that spiritual practice is important because it teaches us to control speech, mind and body. Thus, it is already one of a protection within us. Thank you Rinpoche for the article.
“When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection.” –
This statement points to me that, what leads us to suffer is our very own karma. As long as we have negative karma, we can attract external enemies. If we have no more delusions, or karma seeds, we cannot attract external enemies. The real enemy is within, if we overcome the enemy within, external enemies will fall away.
In today’s modern, materialistic world, you may want to prove that you are self-sufficient, you are self-made, everything you achieved, you did so on your own and are proud of it.
You don’t need any external help and turning to any religion or “spiritual practice” is old-fashion and a sign of weakness. You don’t follow a set order, other people’s rules, you make your own. Only people in desperate circumstances need divine help. It is something you might remotely consider doing only when you run out of options.
The end result is a “successful, accomplished” society that is spiritually empty. Being an atheist or nihilist is something to be proud of.
It is rare these days that people seek out spirituality or spiritual practice on its own merit.
Very inspiring write up. At first, Miles Kessler belief that Aikido is a spiritual path for him to practice until he met U Pandita, a medidation master in Burma, then his spiritual life change.
He know spiritual is not in physical nor martial.He did learn about letting go on Aikido after he met U Pandita.
Miles Kessler finally found a Guru of his real spiritual path.
This inspired us to be devoted to my Guru, Tsem Rinpoche.Rinpoche know the way to train us in our spiritual path.
Thanks Rinpoche for sharing.
This is moving story Rinpoche _()_. I cannot explain how but spiritual practices are the great antidotes to all the problems as they are created by our unfiltered thoughts. How beautiful and inspiring. May we be blessed by the masters like U Pandita. Thank you Rinpoche _()_
This is a powerful read about how when the right teacher comes along and when the student is ready to go all the way, he will gain realisations that will allow his spiritual path to grow.
“When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection”.
Love this quote by U Pandita. I totally agree with this one. Who can beat the divine protection of enlightened beings?
May we all be spiritual warriors who will fearlessly fight our personal enemies and have a successful Dharma path!
Reading this article reminds me of the stories about Milarepa and Makpa and also stories I have heard of high lamas and their students. It also reminds me of how my lama, Tsem Rinpoche has trained majority of his close students in letting go of our expectations and what we are so attached to.
In a lot of ways, it reminds me of my own spiritual path. In actual fact, by letting go of our expectations and attachments that we will truly embrace happiness which we so often seek for. And the method which U Pandita used on Miles was exactly the same skillful method my own lama had used on me and many more students.
Is amazing how skillful high lama/ practitioners are with their students to let go of their attachments and eventually achieve the happiness / enlightenment we have been seeking for , for years and also llife time after life time.
On reading the story of Mr. Miles Kessler, I reflected on my personal spiritual journey and how I hang onto the perception of who I am, sad to say, a tough and shrewd business person. How I have resisted the many different manners and methods, my Guru, HE the 25th Tsem Rinpoche has handed to me both with the loving kindness ways and the tough love ways.
Resistance to what is the best for me is the reason why I will persist in the vicious circle of samsara. From my recent encounter with a medical condition, it is for a fact that whatever obstacles and difficulties we may encounter with spiritual protection, we need nothing more and all difficulties can be overcome. And all will fall in place.
With spiritual protection, we are protected now in this life and in the future lives. May we always be “obedient” to our Guru’s guidance and the best of all aspects will be with us.
This was a profound read. I liked the honesty of Miles Kessler and I believe many of us have had similar experiences as he had encountering when meeting his Guru. The energy he felt in the presence of his Guru U Pandita was similar to what I experienced when meeting Rinpoche the first time. “When I entered U Pandita’s quarters I was immediately struck by his strong presence. It completely dominated the room, indeed the whole meditation center. I also had an uneasy sense that he saw a part of me that I wasn’t seeing. So whilst there was an immediate feeling of trust, I also felt exposed and unsettled in a very subtle way.” It is interesting how when you meet a genuine spiritual teacher, their energy in boundless and as he described it.
I like how he shared his realisations and how U Panditi totally broke all his concept of Akido, and all his plans while being in Burma and most of all his solid concept of identification. Indeed this is the same for many of us and in which Rinpoche has personally knocked it out of us many times, shaking our the very solid identity of who we thought we are but in reality we are not.
I rejoice in Miles realisation and I hope the Dharma will continue to grow in him as it continues to grow in us. Definitely will read this again!
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this most illuminating article
For Miles, despite his expressing his wish for a deeper dimension to his life that spirituality would give him, he was still so attached to his achievements in Aikido that he let it rank as equal or even more important than his spiritual pursuits. He allowed himself to hide behind his ego, which was actually being used like a shield to hide his deep-seated insecurities.
I agree that our Guru, Tsem Rinpoche , and Sayadaw U Pandita share the outstanding qualities of a good Teacher, whose role is to assassinate our ego, which lies behind the charade of our self-deception – the qualities of complete fearlessness, confidence, uncompromising determination and skill in teaching. Just as U Pandita saw through the sham, so must Rinpoche have so often seen through the sham of our self-deceit.
How could Sayadaw U Pandita be impressed with Aikido ? How could Martial Arts stand up against the power of Spiritual Practice as our unwavering protection? Our real enemies are within us and not outside of us. Only our spiritual practice can act as a shield against our real enemies – our negative afflictions and delusions, the root cause and creator of our karma and suffering. Only our Guru, with great compassion and wisdom, can tailor a course of spiritual practice as protection according to our needs. The best spiritual protection as our Guru has reminded us again and again is our mind transformation.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this most illuminating article. I agree that our Guru, Tsem Rinpoche , and Sayadaw U Pandita share the outstanding qualities of a good Teacher, whose role is to assassinate our ego, which lies behind the charade of our self-deception – the qualities of complete fearlessness, confidence, uncompromising determination and skill in teaching. Just as U Pandita saw through the sham, so must Rinpoche have so often seen through the sham of our self-deceit.
How could Sayadaw U Pandita be impressed with Aikido ? How could Martial Arts stand up against the power of Spiritual Practice as our unwavering protection? Our real enemies are within us and not outside of us. Only our spiritual practice can act as a shield against our real enemies – our negative afflictions and delusions, the root cause and creator of our karma and suffering. Only our Guru, with great compassion and wisdom, can tailor a course of spiritual practice as protection according to our needs. The best spiritual protection as our Guru has reminded us again and again is our mind transformation.
Very interesting and inspiring article. This man (Miles Kessler) who had finally made the right choice after realizing and understand the meaning of “When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection”. Miles Kessler went back to continue his spiritual journey after a long hard lesson, that changed the direction of his whole life. Because he managed to let go of what he had made important in Aikido’s deeper value.Well we learned from our mistakes to be a better person and having a good spiritual Guru is also very important.
Thanks Rinpoche and Miles Kessler for sharing.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing with us this inspiring write up by Mr Miles Kessler. It is very true our human perception toward a point of view like what is right or wrong there is always a mistake or I should said in most time is wrong or is not bringing any benefits to us, it only serve to feed our ego, so the only way to correct to wrong view is to engage in spiritual practice and look for right guru to guide us and to cut off our deluded mind.
As I read through the article, these “struck by his strong presence”, “had an uneasy sense that he saw a part of me that I wasn’t seeing” and “immediate feeling of trust, I also felt exposed and unsettled in a very subtle way”. Haha, this reminds me so strongly of my own experience with Rinpoche. Even in the audience of hundreds, the feeling that Rinpoche knows my thoughts is quite daunting.
This spiritual journey written by Miles Kessler certainly shows us that no matter how well we think we have achieved success in our physical world, if we do not seek internally, we will never have the peace within us. His spiritual master, Sayadaw U Pandita is a great Teacher to be able to directly look into his mind and apply the “medicine” to his real needs. Certainly having spent 8 years studying and reaching the 4th Dan level in Aikido is something to be proud of and the confidence from this achievement is being at almost the top of the pinnacle not many can reach. However as many successful people feels, Miles realised something is still missing which samsaric achievements cannot fill. I rejoice that he recognised his needs, seek and found his Guru who so skilfully cut through his mental deception with that one sentence “When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection”. And most importantly, when exposed, he did not run away but realised the greatness of his Guru to return and practised.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing Miles’ spiritual journey which gave us teachings of how spiritual attainments is our protection within Samsara, how a great Master will train us by exposing our weakness/delusions and most importantly for us to realise the greatness of our Guru and to go all the way without ego hindering our path.
What I am! …..Is this me or not me???
What I think it that the “I” is transient. It exist but there is something more as this is only one of many lifetimes we had and will continue to have unless we practice the Dharma to extricate ourselves from this uncontrolled cyclic existence.
This is what the Buddha taught; that we should spend this life to practice the Dharma of selflessness as an antidote to countless lifetimes of selfishness. As this article said, the Buddha gave this as the medicine but it is up to use to take this medicine that will lead to the cure to selfishness and uncontrolled sufferings.
What I Am is real?…….Or is it not?
What I am is real and not at the same time for the real nature is this “I” is transient. One of the many “I” that we have lived before and will continue to live in a cyclic of existence.
That is what the Buddha taught, so that we can realise this and to extricate ourselves from this uncontrolled cyclic existence. That we should spend this life to do what is the most beneficial to us; that is to practice the noble path of Dharma to realise the nature of this existence and how it works and beyond that what really is the nature of this existence.
Further, the best antidote to this attachment and clinging to the self of “I” is to work for others and a method to dilute and further our detachment to this “I”. Hence, all sufferings and resistance to benefitting others are from lifetimes of habitual selfishness; and are to be taken as signs and benefits of selfless practice. In the end, this “I” is diluted into the oceans of dependently arisen phenomena.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing this with us. This is an interesting story of a man’s struggle to seek spirituality and how he was challenged by his spiritual guide. Rinpoche always says: ” The moment you meet a genuine spiritual guide or Guru, he is already challenging your ego”. This is very true when we look at Miles personal encounter with his spiritual guide. By using profound way and challenges, U Pandita had trained Miles without him even knowing it. This is what a genuine Guru is like.
Mr Miles had associated his own identify closely with Akido and his accomplishment in it. It was his ego. When U Pandita forced him to make a decision between Akido and spiritual practice, he realise that clinging on Akido is not because he “needs” to do it, its because he “wants” to do it because it is feeding his own ego, his own feeling of self worth.
This article had given me an insight of how ego works where we built up our own sense of identity and we do whatever it takes to protect it. However, the identity itself is unreal and its just a delusion that we create to feel important. The identity is empty.
Humbly,
Chris Chong
随喜Mr Miles Kessler,因为他最终了解到灵修的目标并非追求外在的东西。之前，Mr Miles Kessler 一直以为他利用了这么长时间在合气道（武术之一）包括他自己的训练与教导学生，就是在填埋他的心灵上的那一块。但其实并不是这样。
后来，当他遇到这位来自缅甸的禅修大师，Sayadaw U Pandita，启发了他并告诉他“当你的心灵上得到安全/保护，你是不需要利用武术来保护自己”。Mr Miles Kessler才了解原来灵修的目标并非追求外在的一切，就比如他喜欢的合气道。他明白如果继续执著于合气道（武术），将会阻止他领悟心灵上更深层次的价值。而这位禅修大师Sayadaw U Pandita，就是在帮助他纠正之前所产生错误的想法。Mr Miles Kessler认为这是一个艰苦的经历。但也因为这样却能改变他对合气道的执著心甚至改变他整个人生的方向。因为他选择放下“自我”也就是他一直引以为荣和认为合气道的重要性，然后选择了拥有2，500 年之久的佛学智慧与真理。
感谢仁波切分享这篇激励性的博文。我个人非常喜欢这篇博文，希望会有更多人可以从这篇博文里的得到一些启发。
We truly are our own worst enemies. It is scary how our thoughts shape our lives yet we really hardly have a grip on our mind. As Kessler’s experience has illustrated, at any given moment we could be going around with our blinkers on and yet be unaware of such blinkers. And we would have already structured our lives around such tunnel vision but thinking we have it all figured out.
Then, if we have the good fortune to be shown that we have gotten it wrong, we are then faced with the difficult challenge of admitting and coming to terms that we were wrong about it all along.
After that we need to battle out the instinct to revert to our usual way of dealing with things and have to vigilantly ensure that we do not regress and also to apply the (proper) different approach. This can be quite difficult considering that we will be doing things contrary to our usual way of dealing with things and at times, we might even find ourselves stumped as to what to do.
Recognizing what is not working in our life is not pleasant at all and can be downright painful, yet only by eliminating what is not working that we have the clarity to refocus our attention and efforts towards what is working or will actually work.
The silver lining in all this is that everything is really our choice and we are always in a position to change the outcome for the better if we want to.
Thank you Rinpoche and Mr. Kessler for sharing this very inspiring event that made Mr. Kessler rethink and reevaluate his life’s destination. His notion that Aikido is spiritual was probably a misconception that was imparted to him wrongfully.
He was torn between his wants in life and his spiritual yearnings and when Sayadaw Pandita said ‘No’ to him was actually helping him to realize his wrong concept between spirituality and martial arts. It is just like a soft slap on his face pretty much telling him ‘ hey wake up to reality’ Sayadaw saw through his inflated ego and wanted to help him diminish it, in addition Sayadaw could see that Mr.Kessler was carrying unnecessary baggage and was trying to help him offload it. He knew Mr. Kessler has purity in his heart and on that basis accepted him back later on to the meditation center.
Enlightened gurus, masters, lamas has the abilities to see through pretty much all our faults, strength, weaknesses and characters and therefore would probably let us go through tough assignments to bring up our strengths, running us down to ground levels to deflate our egos. When once these are minimized then perhaps the actual teachings would gradually start and finally help and guide us to realize the true nature of self.
Rejoice to hear the realisation of Mr Miles Kessler, and his merit for being able to study and learn under a great master Venerable U Pandita.
I feel most if not all of us hide behind our ego and not willing to face ourselves. It takes courage to sit down and meditate (on our mind), and takes even more courage to fight our ego. I feel these great masters are very direct when it comes to fighting our ego. I have heard Tsem Rinpoche talking about how his Guru Zong Rinpoche’s method, and I have also seen Tsem Rinpoche’s method, and now I hear the Venerable U Pandita’s method, their methods are “fierce”, and I feel, there is no other way to it. Most of the time, the “sweet medicine” doesn’t work, and “bitter medicine” needs to be applied. I feel we are all very lucky to meet teachers who are willing to give “bitter medicine”. Why? Because the teacher is risking their student will leave the teacher, but yet, for the sake of the benefits of the students, they are willing to be the bad guy. Instead of just saying nice words to the students, so that the students can further “enrich” their ego, authentic teachers do not care about their own image and give “bitter medicine” with the hope that the students can be awaken, just like Mr Miles Kessler. That is the quality of an authentic teacher.
I pray that there are more authentic teachers in this world to keep turning of the Dharma wheel, for we are now in a world full of desires and material, and many of us (me included) are nurturing our ego everyday, and we need teachers to “wake” us up so that we can continue our practice.
Thank you Mr Miles Kessler for the insightful sharing of his spiritual journey. What I found meaningful is Kessler’s realization of the unfound attachment to Akido (it can be anything, e.g. possession, fame, or social status, etc). And when this unfound attachment is being examined under the scope of Dharma; quoting Kessler’s own words “…My future and past were all hanging in the balance in that very moment with an unbearable intensity.” Once we are stripped naked of what we falsely hold on to as a cover to the true us, we will feel exposed and vulnerable. For that reason, we must always be grounded to Dharma as the bearing of our life to and to nurture our mind according to the 3 Baskets.
Miles Kessler mentioned that his identification with Aikido as himself and core of his being is his ego and false sense of worth.
U Pandita informing Miles Kessler that “When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection” made him realize the deeper, spiritual meaning of Aikido which he had missed in his previous years of training. Aikido, the physical act is irrelevant in the bigger picture where every pain and joy originates from the mind.
The silence of U Pandita was a point when Kessler had to reflect and decide whether he wanted to commit to a spiritual practice, whether he’s just creating excuses for what he wants to do rather than what he needs to do on the spiritual path.
What Kessler wrote in this sharing applies to many and I can relate to many aspects of it.
Thank you, Rinpoche for sharing the article for our benefit.
This is a very good article. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this profound story with us. i believe nothing and no one can give us any better protection than Spiritual Protection. Who else can protect our delusional minds and karma besides our Guru and Protector? All we need is have strong faith and full trust in our Guru and Dharma Protector. I came to Kechara with an open mind and trust and i will live with this for the rest of my life.
This is a short and honest article but with so many important insights against which we can measure our own mind.
1.The author spoke of “growth and development” that spread out nicely on the surface, but not penetrating to the core of his being. I think it is important to ask if our dharma practice is like that as well – something we get involved in but resist it taking over our lives. Do we plan our Dharma practice around our Samsaric objectives and intentions? The Dharma is meant to break us free from our prisons, not adorn the prison while we remain within;
2. The author realised after meeting U Pandita, that everything about his life is ‘relative’ and therefore ‘limited’. This itself is an important discovery of how transient and ethereal we really are and we consume so much time and energy in trying to defend something so incredibly passing as something fixed and tangible. He referred to his life as a sham. And that reminded me of the sham I called my life before surrendering to Rinpoche’s teachings. We spend a lifetime trying to support this phantom we conjure up and being scared all the time that if we were to stop for only a moment, this phantom and hence our life would just evaporate. The truth is this – confidence in our self comes only at the end of dissolving this phantom away, and this self that we discover is unafraid of anything.
3. Spiritual protection versus martial protection itself is such an all encompassing find. At is most basic, I read that to mean, take refuge in the Three Jewels and nothing else. No martial art protects us from our karma. In addition, the ultimate ‘protection’ is in realizing that there is ultimately no ‘self’ to be harmed so what need is there to protect that which is the most harmful to ourselves?
When we think about it carefully, we are all ‘Miles Kesslers’.
Thank you so much Rinpoche and team for this blog post. It is very honest and real. It also lets me see how samsara is so perfectly designed to keep us distracted. All the nice restaurants, cosmetics, entertainments…and even the substantial “things to accomplish” are distractions to keep us busy until one day we become old, sick or incapacitated to hide behind all the activities.
It is in these moments of vulnerability that we know what truly matters and I do pray that more people have the chance in their youth and health to make “investments” that enrich them spiritually to face these moments with grace and dignity.
In the recent surgery of my mum, I was very grateful for the spiritual protection from Rinpoche and Dorje Shugden. Although the surgery was supposed to be straightforward and simple, the procedure took triple the time due to unforeseen circumstances. Despite unexpected challenges that arose, all went well and mum healed swiftly and well. Witnessing how everything went, deep inside I know it is the protection and blessing of our Guru, Tsem Rinpoche, and our Protector, Dorje Shugden.
I hope that more will have this form if protection but also clearly say that protection can only be offered to those willing and committed to receive.
Again, thank you Rinpoche for your kindness to always share wisdom and salvation.
Thank You Rinpoche for sharing the great article. I am not a good writer but I will try my best to write up some comment here. I particularly like this statement:“My self-deception was exposed for the sham that it was, and what was revealed was what had always been there at the bottom of it all. My total insecurity.”. We like to label ourselves from our fame, experience,status, wealth etc to cover our weakness. In fact, this exposed our three poisons; desire, anger and ignorance. Sometimes, we will response very aggressively when it is challenged.
I personally think the “Trust” to your Guru is very important so that you can empty the water in my mind to receive the pure Dharma nectar. Mr. Miles Kessler has been practicing Aikido for years and I believe he is a master level instructor in Aikido. If he can not empty up his status and no Trust to U Pandita, he will not transform and have enough wisdom to appreciate the deeper value of Aikido. Dharma embrace all; “When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection”. We need to put down our ego to learn the greater wisdom.
Thank You Guru. I will read it again tomorrow.
Cheers,
Soon Huat
Dear Rinpoche,
I wonder if realisation will only come through hard way? The realisation that he has in someway has hit me about two years ago. Having Dharma is like my best protection, I do not need any other protection. Even seeking the refuge from parents or our children couldn’t spare us from death. There’s no greater refuge than own and the advice from Guru. The best protection is to continue what Rinpoche has taught in all the YouTube teachings. Also it changes on how I see life and Dharma. It’s inseparable. If I found it hard to practice, how about others? So, there’s no difference from me and others. I put a lot of expectation on what is life and what is Dharma. I should just put down and just continue.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Hi Jacinta,
Your comment leads me to recall a quote by Einstein: “We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”
So my understanding is that realisation doesn’t have to come through difficulties. However, most of the time, it BECOMES a difficulty because these realisations are contrary / opposite to the way we have always thought and done things. It’s a difficulty because it’s hard for us to accept that how we did things before was wrong.
These realisations can only come about when we do something in the opposite way we have always done things. If we always do things the same old way, how can we expect a different result?
Hence when we do things in a different way, we can see things in a different perspective. When we see things in a different perspective, we understand that our previous way of acting, thinking and speaking was harmful.
That’s why some people find Dharma very painful and difficult, because it is opposite to the way we have always behaved and acted in samsara for many lifetimes. But after a while, it isn’t so painful anymore and in fact, we find guru devotion and Dharma to be very liberating and soothing because Dharma teaches a way of life that is in harmony with the natural ways of the universal.
Thanks Pastor Elena for your reply. You have actually put forth a very good reasoning. We find it hard when the realisation is contrary to what we have taught or done. We just keep hitting the same old spot! Yes, Dharma is very liberating. The only reason I am still fighting the way up the stream. When I said I am ‘fighting’, means I am still thinking the same old way (lol). When I read back your reply again, I am honoured that you have given me a different perspective to see my life now. Thanks again Pastor.
Mr Miles Kessler’s article is very profound. He’s very fortunate to have found such a great Buddhist master. His tenacity and determination in seeking the spiritual truth helped tremendously as it showed his sincerity. Letting go our ego to request our teacher to guide us is the first step to learning and practising spirituality.
“When you have spiritual protection, you don’t need martial protection”. This is a very powerful statement that breaks down all delusions of our projections that we think give us security. All our problems arise from the mind. So to solve them, we need to work on the mind. Hence, no martial arts can be greater than spirituality.
U Pandita reminds me very much of H.E. Tsem Rinpoche. Both are dedicated to teaching the truth as taught by Lord Buddha. And both have, as Mr Kessler puts it, “complete fearlessness, confidence, uncompromising determination and skill in teaching”. By being around a genuine teacher, one will be very fortunate to gain deeper insights to the phenomenon of life that will completely change the perception of ourselves and our environment. This in my opinion is true spirituality.