The Accidental Meditator
(By Tsem Rinpoche and Li Kheng)
Meditation = sitting with a still mind and body in a quiet place with the sunset as your backdrop and the sound of the sea to sooth your senses.
As enticing as that may sound to many, it is not a scenario I find feasible to create in my daily life. On top of that, I assumed meditation to be light and fluffy with limited powerful, tangible impact for a fast-paced entrepreneur like me. Hence, I “logically” came to the conclusion that meditation was not my cup of tea.
As Forrest Gump said: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. About 1.5 years ago, I was given the responsibility to develop and facilitate the meditation program at Kechara Forest Retreat. Knowing very little about meditation, I thought the best place to begin was to start meditating.
Rinpoche said this to me during my first audience with him, “To accomplish sustainable change in life, we take consistent baby steps”. So, my sessions started with 10 minutes of breathing meditation which I did daily in the evenings in front of my altar. Breathing meditation is a basic form of meditation to focus the mind on a single point of concentration – the breath.
Now, knowing that it is difficult to focus the mind is very different from experiencing it. It was humbling to watch my mind run wild in an uncontrollable manner despite my best efforts to tame it. It was the first time I was forced to focus on my mind’s habits for an extended period. I began to notice how emotionally draining it is when my mind is in overdrive compared to the soothing and revitalizing feeling when I am able to calm it down.
Besides breathing meditation, I also dabbled in walking meditation on Tara Walk, a purpose-built meditation path which was conceptualized by Rinpoche. I always saw Tara Walk as any other paved walkway until I experienced my first walking meditation session there. I literally had to learn to walk again. I was surprised at how much effort I had to put in to maintain a stable pace and foothold. I noticed how impatience kept creeping in, prompting me to speed up and “get this over and done with”. I felt my restlessness arise as this sudden abundance of time felt so foreign compared to the bustling pace of life I was accustomed to. This was when I realized how hectic schedules and piles of to-do lists have become my comfort zones, which I use to make myself a “victim”. For the first time, when there were no deadlines, no distractions and no “missions to accomplish”, I was lost and agitated. It was a mind-blowing discovery that opened the doors to personal change and growth.
As I incorporated meditation into my life, I began to have more energy because, instead of using it up with mind wandering that “gathers no moss”, my energy was now directed into learning, completing projects and fulfilling responsibilities. Revitalized, I now have the capacity to practice patience, tolerance and care. All these qualities make me feel more at peace with myself, which I cherish as a priceless gift of meditation. Soon, this little chore became a moment I looked forward to daily.
As I embraced meditation and reaped its benefits, I gained the passion and conviction to share this life-boosting tool with anyone who believes in the higher potential of his/her mind. There is still so much we can learn about our mind and its untapped potential. I have even shared with friends and strangers the Nine Round Breathing Exercise to help them relieve the stress and pressure they feel. Everyone was surprised by what just nine sets of breathing can do for him/her in three minutes. Seeing their results fueled my interest further, and I began to study even more about meditation techniques including transcendental meditation, Buddhist meditation and the practice of reconnecting with Nature.
The Inner Peace Series
With research, I identified the harmony and synergy between the mind, spirituality and Nature. Hence, Mr. JP Thong, Ms. Jennifer Yuen, Pastor Antoinette Kass and I conceptualized and developed the Inner Peace Series of meditation programs in Kechara Forest Retreat. This program incorporates the healing elements of Nature with science and traditional techniques of meditation to offer the best remedy for physical and emotional healing within a natural environment.
As of today, the Inner Peace Retreat for beginners has been running for one year, with over 15 groups of of retreatants while the intermediate course, the Inner Reflection Retreat, was launched in August 2015. Our guests complete the program with brighter eyes and a brilliant smile and leave with clarity and answers to questions that clouded their minds, more connected to themselves. They have become a part of our little community and we continue to offer them support so that meditation becomes a part of their daily lives in sustainable ways.
Meditation Redefined
I have since concluded that meditation is not fluffy at all. On the contrary, meditation is an endowing tool that taps into the most powerful aspect of us – our mind. Meditating is like going to the gym for the mind and we train and harness its strength to direct our potential to creating tangible results and better relationships.
We often receive feedback that the meditation program in Kechara Forest Retreat is unique because we cater for 21st Century minds and address current social needs and aspirations based on the fundamental source of humanity – Nature. As an old friend who joined the program said: “Nature is the platform, meditation is the path, spirituality is the destination”.
I hope this little sharing from an accidental meditator will encourage you to open your minds to a spiritual journey that is dynamic, enjoyable and unimaginably rewarding. Below is a simple guide to meditation for beginners and I hope to welcome all of you in Kechara Forest Retreat en route to personal awakening!
Meditation 101
The first step in meditation is setting up a conducive environment that is clean, cluster-free and calm. Your environment is a reflection of your state of mind. To free the mind of intangible cluster, begin by creating an open space in the meditation area. An electric essential oil diffuser can also be used to create a relaxing mood. I would advise against using essential oil burners with naked flames for safety reasons.
Place the meditation cushion in a comfortable spot in the room. It is best to use a cushion with a slightly elevation at the back. This will help keep your back straight. Alternatively, fold a bath towel to your preferred thickness (e.g. 3-4 inches) and place it on the back half of the cushion.
Next, sit comfortably on the meditation cushion in the Seven Point Meditation Posture described below.
Legs
Cross your legs according to any of the three positions below, according to what is most comfortable for you. As you improve, you may also progress from the basic cross-legged position to the full lotus position.
Those who are unable to sit on a meditation cushion may sit on a chair, with a straight back and legs bent at a 90-degree angle.
Cross Legged Position
Half Lotus Position
Full Lotus Position
Sitting on a chair
Back and Neck
When meditating, the back should be kept straight, which is good for the circulation of qi and blood in the main channels of the body. This also contributes to sharpening the senses.
The neck should be tilted slightly forwards. As a rough guide, slowly drop your chin about one inch. The neck muscles will relax when the neck is in the correct position.
Hands
Place your right hand on top of your left hand with palms facing upwards, and allow your arms to rest gently on your lap. Touch your thumbs together gently. This is called the Dhyani mudra (hand position) of meditation and concentration.
Hand position - the Dhyani mudra
Mouth and Tongue
The cheek muscles should be relaxed and the mouth kept closed. Touch the tip of the tongue to the upper palette, just behind the teeth. This will prevent thirst during longer meditation sessions.
Position of the tongue during meditation
Eyes
The eyes should be partly open, looking towards the tip of the nose. This prevents meditators from dozing off and at the same time reduces the distraction from the surrounding environment.
Motivation
After assuming the Seven Point Meditation Posture, set the motivation for the meditation session. This can be anything from maintaining a state of mental sharpness and clarity so that you can face a busy day filled with important meetings, to simply wishing to create joy and peace for everyone you meet throughout the day.
With the motivation established, begin the Nine Round Breathing Exercise. Done correctly, this simple meditation will immediately make you feel more alert. When combined with certain visualizations, it can also relieve both physical and emotional pain and discomfort. Upon completion of the Nine Round Breathing Exercise, enter into meditation on the breath where you focus your attention single-pointedly on the sensation of air entering and exiting the tip of your nostrils. Do this meditation for about 10 minutes
At the end of the meditation session, slowly raise your eyes then mindfully stand up.
Please support us so that we can continue to bring you more Dharma:
If you are in the United States, please note that your offerings and contributions are tax deductible. ~ the tsemrinpoche.com blog team
There are many benefits of meditation and that is why more and more organizations, companies and schools begin to adopt meditation.Studies show that meditation training can help curb our tendency for distraction, strengthening our ability to stay focused and even boosting memory.
As we make daily decisions which lead to stress most of the time, we can also make another decision to engage in activities which lead us to manage our inner calm and mind. Thank you very much for the nice article.
My Christain friend and his Mongolian wife recently participated in the Inner Peace Retreat facilitated by Li Kheng. He said he enjoyed the retreat very much especially the beautiful surroundings – so green, peaceful and nicely landscaped. He also said the food served was very good too. He learned some useful tips on meditation particularly on walking meditation. He likes best the garden with Dream Manjushri overlooking the fish pond where they did meditation. He said the garden was very well planned and with plenty of flowering plants.
I will sum up the beginning for meditation as to slow down and be aware. Aware of the surrounding and everything
Thank you very much Li Kheng for this wonderful guidance on meditation. It’s very simple and easy to understand. And really good to try taking meditation to calm our minds from stress.
Meditation is about learning about ourselves.
Hi Wai Meng,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I totally agree with you that meditation is about learning about ourselves. With our minds so preoccupied and distracted on a day-to-day basis, we cannot be like the attained beings who are in meditation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week through their practice of the higher yoga tantras.
As lower, unattained beings it’s important that we make an effort and carve out time to dedicate to our spiritual practice each day. At the beginning, it may be hard to sit down and not fidget, and to focus on our meditations but the very fact it is difficult is the very reason why we should perserve and continue. We are totally not in control of our bodies, let alone our minds and allowing it to run riot all the time is the very reason why we suffer the way we do.
Why do we find it easy to make sure we eat no matter how busy we are? Why do we find it easy to dedicate some time with our partners no matter how busy we are? We find it easy to do those things because we THINK we understand the value of those things, and therefore are willing to invest effort and time into it. Hence if we understand the value of meditation, we will become willing to invest in meditation (and in our spirituality) so making time for practice doesn’t become difficult anymore.
Thanks!
Meditation and me is like water and oil, it just doesn’t mix. Just thinking about meditation gives me dread. For those who has the patience and discipline to meditate, I applaud you. I do not deny the need for silence and calm the mind, the form of meditation that works for me at the moment to silence and calm my mind is through physical labor work.
Having read how Li Kheng “discovered” meditation, it does intrigue me to want to give it another try. I do not have the discipline to try this on my own. Attending a guided meditation retreat does seem appealing and the best way to try.
Thank you Li Kheng for sharing your experience about meditation. I have heard very good reviews from people who attended the Inner Peace meditation program in Kechara Forest Retreat.
There are many benefits of meditation and that is why more and more organisations, companies and schools begin to adopt meditation. Some of the most successful execs on Wall Street — including billionaires Daniel Loeb, Paul Tudor Jones, and Ray Dalio — start their days sitting on a meditation cushion.
Multiple research studies have shown that meditation has the potential to decrease anxiety. Brain-imaging research suggests that meditation can help strengthen our ability to regulate our emotions. Other studies show that meditation training can help curb our tendency for distraction, strengthening our ability to stay focused and even boosting memory.
In today’s world, meditation is no more a luxury. It is a necessity. The Mental Health Foundation estimates that one in four people will experience a mental health problem every 12 months. A team from Carnegie Mellon University has proven that a little mindfulness training goes a long way, especially when it comes to quieting the mind in stressful situations.
Meditation should be practiced somewhere calming and peaceful. Kechara Forest Retreat is a nice, quiet, relaxing place to learn this useful technique. By the way, I too found myself ‘learning’ to walk again when I started walking meditation at Tara Walk 🙂
Thanks Li Kheng for her experience on meditation and I am sure that most everyone is in the same boat, never thinking we need it until we have actually gone through a meditation retreat. It is then we will realize the existence of our monkey mind and the difficulty to taming it. Li Kheng is a reflection of her practise as now she has the quiet calmness within. May more participate in this the bi-monthly Inner Peace Retreat and gain the method to bring some peace to the stressful lives we lead. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing this interesting article by Li Kheng.
Before I actually walked in to the program which my sister facilitates in KFR, I did think that meditation is for people who have nothing better to do than stare at nothing. And pay for it! Yes, I was in a state of pure, delighted Ignorance.
On the fateful day in May, I walked into the Inner Peace weekend and my views on meditation changed. This is what I realised:
Staring into Nothing is HARD! It takes focus and mental calm. Discipline too! To say the least, I failed miserably. I struggled to coordinate my breathing, where I placed by tongue and controlling my eyeballs from rolling all over the place. BUT, when I could get my act together for at least 10 minutes, I realised that when my mind thought of something important (yes my mind still wandered) I skipped a few breadths. This made me understand why some highly stressed people often complain about shortness of breadth.
Living with stress nowadays is a norm. Should you not have stress people will think you are not doing much with your life. It is just not cool not to be stressed. Well, this is wrong and as we all know, stress leads to many ailments and diseases. As we make daily decisions which lead to stress most of the time, we can also make another decision to engage in activities which lead us to manage our inner calm and mind. Thus, leading to stress management.
I will not blow hot air and claim I am some meditation expert now, but I encourage everyone to learn meditation and engage in getaway weekend for yourselves – to save yourself to put it bluntly, really. KFR is a place with an environment that already embraces you once you arrive at the entrance. The Inner Peace weekend and also the more intense Inner Reflection week, are programs which are designed just for you and your inner peace and calm.
So, I would say I am a convert from ignorant to being more conscious. And this is what KFR is all about – creating conscious communities!
You must get familiar with the supine position. Every one of us will be sick or injured,where sitting is just out of the question. Lay with your back flat and your knees up and touching, and your hands and arms by your side or resting on your stomach. Focus on your object.
The only thing I felt that needed saying here.
Very useful tips Likheng! I wanted to enjoy the peace but often I felt the restlessness arises when there is nothing waiting to complete. Meditation will defenitely help!
Thanks for writing this article and look forward to attending your meditation course this weekend.
Christine