The Wild Woman of the Jungle
Dear friends,
As you know I went on a Dharma picnic a few weeks back with students. During our break I looked at Paris and was inspired to tell a twisted story with her as the Wild Woman character..ehehehe. The story turned out pretty good I might say..so I asked her to write it and I can blog it. This is what you are reading..heheheeh. You like my story?? I came up with it to entertain my guests in the mountains??? Click here to read more.
Tsem Rinpoche
The Wild Woman of the Jungle
Once upon a time, there was a girl called Paris. She came from the city and loved living there. She liked spending time in shopping malls, eating in nice restaurants and buying expensive cosmetics.
One day, she went to the jungle with her dear Lama, H.E. Tsem Rinpoche. By accident, she fell asleep and the rest of the group forgot that she was there. They left without her, so she suddenly found herself all alone in the deep, dark, scary forest, surrounded by strange noises and blackness.
At first, she was very scared, but she soon became used to living in the forest. She started to love it, in fact! She took off her clothes and ran around wearing bark and leaves – it was so much more liberating. She also learnt how to speak in the forest language, and quickly forgot how to speak human languages.
A few weeks later, Rinpoche and some of his students came to visit the forest again. They would catch glimpses of jungle Paris, now a Wild Woman, but she had become very shy of humans and would run away whenever she heard the sounds of people. However, because she had become accustomed to living in the jungle, she had developed very acute hearing, sight and smells. She would stay a far distance away but listen to what was going on.
Rinpoche and friends would keep visiting the jungle. Each time, the Wild Woman would come by to look and listen, standing behind the shrubs. Then, one day, the group started talking about the Wild Woman aka Paris’ ex-boyfriend. They took out a picture of this ex-boyfriend and showed each other.
Suddenly, to everyone’s horror, the Wild Woman leapt forward, clawing away at the picture. She screeched until everyone had to cover their ears, and ripped the picture to shreds. When the photo was no long discernible, torn into tiny, indecipherable shreds, she ran away, still screeching so loudly that she made the leaves on the trees tremble.
They decided to try this again the next time they visited the forest. They brought photos of different sizes of the ex-boyfriend, in an attempt to lure the Wild Woman out of the jungle. Each time they held up a photo, she would rush forward, screeching like only a banshee could, maul the photo and rip it with her bare hands and then run away again.
The Wild Woman became famous throughout the country. People from all corners would come to this forest to try to get a rare sighting of the Wild Woman. Nothing would work though – food, noises, plants did not interest her. She was very good at hiding between the trees and had become very deft at running away and hiding from humans.
It was ONLY when someone held up a photo of her ex-boyfriend that she would charge forward, from every direction, just to snatch the photo out of the visitors’ hands and rip it into tiny pieces.
Like all the world’s most evasive creatures – Nessie the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot, UFOs and Mermaids – the Wild Woman of the Jungle became well known all over the world. Scientiests, anthropologists and researchers travelled the breadth of the world to find her and study her odd behavior.
Always, nothing would coax her out of hiding except photos of her ex-boyfriend. This became a tremendous fundraiser for Kechara. Busloads of people would come to the forest wanting to visit the Wild Woman. They devised clever photo packages. People could buy large posters so the Wild Woman would stay out for longer to rip up the photos. They even devised Family Packages of 4 value-sized photos; the Wild Woman would stay to tear up every single picture, long enough for people to see her and even take rare pictures of her.
One day, a world-famous TV production house were so intrigued by the story of the Wild Woman that they travelled across the world to Malaysia, just to come to see her and do a documentary about her. There were many long discussions about how to lure her out for long enough to shoot. She had developed an ability to run in, destroy a photo and run away very quickly, and it was impossible to catch her in between.
They finally decided that they would put up a large billboard of her ex-boyfriend and unveil it only on the day that they were to shoot. They should keep her busy for awhile! On the day, when they finally unveiled the gigantic image, the Wild Woman charged forward in a rage more hysteric and wilder than ever. She didn’t know where to start in destroying the image! The production company had even thought to put ladders up for her, so she would have access to climb up and down. She attacked the billboard with a fury, clawing away at it with a fervor even 10 football teams wouldn’t be able to match. They managed to get a whole hour of footage of the Wild Woman, destroying what would be the largest image ever. It cost them RM50,000 just to make this billboard.
From the sales of photos of her ex-boyfriend alone, Kechara raised enough funds to build their huge 30-acre retreat centre. Not to mention the royalties from documentaries and movie deals! Though she didn’t know it, Paris the Wild Woman had truly become a celebrity.
One day, concerned for her welfare, Rinpoche devised a contraption to “trap” the wild woman, so that they could take her back to the city and rehabilitate her. They set up a giant cage with a photo of her ex inside. When she ran inside to destroy the photo, they closed the cage and compassionately transported her back to the city, where she belonged.
It took a long time for her to adjust to her new surroundings again. She seemed to like only a very few people, and especially disliked the males around her. She wouldn’t accept any food from them, and would only try to wring their necks. It wasn’t until many, many months later, that Ethan was able to reach his hand into the cage and pat her on the hand. She had calmed down very much by then, and finally, for the first time in a very long time, she made a happy sound – rroooaaaww. Paris the Wild Woman was finally home again.
When she became more and more used to her surroundings, they began to let her out of her cage so she could wander about. They started to teach her the alphabet again. She had lost her speech though, after so many years of living in the jungle and not communicating with any humans. So when they taught her the alphabet, it went something like this:
Teacher: A
Wild Woman: Raaaooowww
Teacher: B
Wild Woman: Raaaooowww
Teacher: C
Wild Woman: Raaaooowww
They decided to give up on teaching her how to speak and thought perhaps they’d have better luck teaching her to communicate through written means. After all, she was known to be a writer before she became a jungle dweller. The Wild Woman seemed to like this much more. She liked banging about on the keyboard. Slowly, slowly, they taught her how to type the alphabets on the computer. She could only type with one finger at a time, but at least she made some progress. Very soon, she could communicate through little words, like “Cheese” and “Happy”. But most of all, what she liked most was to spell out that she hated her ex-boyfriend.
Still, she was settling into her new home again, with Rinpoche and many friends. They took very good care for her and entertained her many strange habits, like refusing to wear clothes and screeching whenever she saw any traces of her ex-boyfriend. They had to be very careful about her screaming, because she started breaking windows. Once, she accidentally saw a photo of him on one of her friend’s computers. She tried to tear up the screen and when she couldn’t, she almost threw the computer into the fish pond to drown it. This Wild Woman clearly had issues!
The end!
(Story by Tsem Rinpoche. Written out by Paris aka Jamie Khoo)
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It is a great story. I always enjoy stories told by Rinpoche. Although it may just seem like a normal story most of the time, but it would actually be something more then just the story. Usually the stories would be targeting something about the main character, like an issue that the party is facing or even like some characteristics that is not very good for the party. Hence, Rinpoche would use these stories to help us change so that we would not be so attached to our negative qualities, and hopefully we will be able to change our behaviour. Rinpoche would always meant well even though if the story may not sound so pleasant to the particular person.
This is such a funny story! Hopefully Paris will not turn into a Wild Woman of the jungle! Hehe Paris destroying her ex boyfriend’s Pictures could even raise money for KFR! How beneficial. Hehe Hope Paris will not create any negative karma by tearing the pictures with such anger.. Hehe Funny story! Was thoroughly entertained.. Paris (non Jungle one) is such a good writer! Write more Paris, more!
Thank you for sharing, Rinpoche! Great story!
I knew it was a hoax hhaha how can Lama forgotten the female & left it inside the jungle for so many year & even make use of her to gain donation…. anyway,… nice try hahaha almost got me :p
LOL thank Rinpoche thats so funny 🙂 . Rinpoche has such a vivide imagination and hence thats why Rinpoche never stops coming up with amazing ideas
OMG Paris, you wrote the story out so well! I remember when Rinpoche was telling this story out during picnic, we were all laughing and laughing and laughing soooo hard! What initiated Rinpoche to tell this story was because Paris was very sleepy in the mountains, as she has been working very hard. Rinpoche looked at Paris’s sleepy face, and got inspired to create this fictional story and how to raise funds for Kechara World Peace Centre! Imagine the whole of KWPC gets built through selling the photos of the wild woman Paris’s ex boyfriend. HEHEHE. creative!
LOL…this is soooooooo funny and interesting!!! Thank you Rinpoche for this very “Creative story” hehehe…I love the story, Cute!!
Well i think the wild woman uses too much energy on her ex-boy friend hahaha..
I like the fundraising idea hehehe…
This story is so funny and Rinpoche came up with it on the spot! Everyone was laughing away while the story was being told. Thank you Rinpoche for sharing it here so that others can also enjoy the story. Paris is a good sport who even imitates the sounds when she came back…..
Maybe this could be a starting of a new book!
The picnic at the mountains was really nice and we get to be away in nature and be with Rinpoche. Rinpoche is always caring towards his students in every way!
Very INTERESTING story :))
Thank you Rinpoche and Paris for sharing out this story to all of us.
Interesting…
Gosh this is simply hilarious! Rinpoche’s so creative…What a good story and so well written by Paris. The story just unfold like a comedy sitcom with episodes that every Friday you just cannot miss!!! Definitely sellable.
This is hilarious! Hahaha
It’s also showing me an example of a Guru that will do whatever he can to train his students including scolding or making fun of them. I salute Paris for being able to let go of her ego and able to take it when Rinpoche is using her as the main character of a wild jungle woman and blog the story openly. This shows her spiritual practise has reached another level. I wonder how would I take it if I’m her. Hehehe.
Oh My Buddha… I finally have time to read this very hilarious story… as much as it is meant to be fiction, I can so see the truth behind it! Rinpoche, you are indeed very creative and in so many creative ways you attract people… Of course, this time it is about my very dear Dharma sister Paris! I read this in my HK hotel toilet because I am stealing space to smoke a cigarette. Yes, in the toilet where there is a ventilation fan and open window.
Jamie, you are an excellent writer. and Rinpoche is an excellent Producer. I was laughing so hard when I read this! Imagine shooting this story on Tsem Paranormal Zone.. it could be part of the episode where we are planning to shoot nature spirits!
LOLZZ! Thank You Rinpoche & Paris for the story ^^, ^^, Although is funny and entertain, but we can still learn some thing on it ; ) Good things ; )
That is really funny ! Actually there is some truth about this wild child of mine . She did scream and screech a lot when she was a toddler , esp when she didn’t get her way and the ocassional running around in the garden without any clothes on ! Hmmm seems she hasn’t quite grown out of it , after all these years ! Well darling , that’s one way to be a celebrity but i’m not sure how’s daddy going to take that !
Oh Datin Jennifer, what you described about her as a toddler is so funny AND CUTE. Even if nothing outwardly has changed, but your little brat has grown into a mature young lady. Nothing changes, Everything changes. Sounds familiar??
This is so funny! So this is how Paris becomes a celebrity!
Oh, it’s so funny and very entertaining couldn’t stop laughing.Like a mini comedy drama series in writing and i hope there is a continuation for more episodes to come,don’t end it so fast la, Paris is such a good writer.Thank you Rinpoche for such a beautiful story.
This is creative on the fly……soundless like a plot for modern day yeti encounter. This is good one Rinpoche.
This is a very cute and funny story of the wild woman in the jungle. I enjoyed reading it. I can’t wait for the next episode of Pastor Ngeow teaching to primates after he got lost in this jungle .. hehe
I like this story, especially the part on Wild Woman raising fund for Kechara !
I think we must seriously consider this….:)
LOL… I absolutely love it. Rinpoche is indeed very witty and inmaginative! hhmmm i wonder if Paris still is effected by the picture???? hehehehe… oh no!!! she is coming to my computer now…. *Arrrgghh… runs away with Paris hot on my heels… I had forgotten I was wearing a t-shirt of her ex boyfriend!!!!*
Rinpoche, this is very creative and hilarious! I laugh throughout until I feel pain on my jaw, haha! On the other hand I feel so happy for Paris as it has clearly shown that her spirituality has grown to another level! Congratulations and may you be well and continue to benefit all beings! xxx
This is so hilarious and entertaining!Looking forward to the next story, Pastor Ngeow – The Wild Man of the Jungle giving dharma talks to the primates!hahahaha
LOL… The story is so funny! Rinpoche always make us laugh. Picking on the things we dislike the most only to find out that Rinpoche is picking on us for not letting go! Our ego and pride got stuck for so long so its time to let go for better things rather than staying sad and bitter.
What a wonderful story, I laughed till I teared. I also like the extension of story by Henry on Pastor Ngeow, being lost in our 30acre retreat land and teaching Dharma to the primates. What would be interesting to know is what will work up Pastor Ngeow.
For a girl named Paris, it was her ex boyfriend. With Pastor Ngeow, WHO or WHAT? My imagination going wild. Hehehe! A quiz is on!
I can’t stop laughing and laughing about this story of the wild woman…..The wittiness of Rinpoche is not just funny but hilarious. Rinpoche is indeed a neon lama that blends dharma and samsara into a mocktail that everyone would jump for it.
Hmmmmmm,, I wonder who would be the star of the show next time when Rinpoche takes another group up for picnic and dharma talk.
May be Pastor Ngeow would be the next good victim…..heeheehee….
That would make good footage for a movie, hehe! The advantage of having a Guru is that he takes every opportunity to teach, including taking our “misfortunes” into a training break. Boyfriends come and go, but our Guru remains there forever, lifetime after lifetime. Who should we cherish more?
This is outright hilarious!
A few weeks ago KB was telling a few of us the story of how a businessman from his village in remote Nepal bought a car and managed to drive it into the village 10 years ago. The villagers there received the car with offerings and flower garland because it was the FIRST car that the village ever had. The roads leading to the village were rough and treacherous. Weeks later and after heavy torrential rain, the roads were completely destroyed and the car’s owner could not drive the car out of the village. Now the car remains the FIRST and ONLY car in KB’s village, minus everything except the shell!
We teased pastor Ngeow that if he were to go to our 30 acres land and got lost, in 10 years when we found him, he would be giving dharma teachings to the primates there 🙂
This is really funny! I literally LOL’d. Bright start to the morning =D Thank you!
Ha! Ha! So very funny…. I hope it will not become real. Anyway I enjoy the story. It is so entertaining.
Hmmm, this could be a script for our Tsem Paranormal Series. Episode 14!Hahaha!