A Lesson in Helping Those in Need
Guest contribution by Caryl Dumaine Lamont ~Munson~
– She said, “Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them”.
– She also said with much emphasis, “Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind”.
– These statements from her have stuck in my mind for 27 years.
People have often asked me why I help others for free. Why do I do things for people without expecting anything in return? One person also went as far as to tell me to stop letting people take my kindness for weakness. Well, first off, I do not believe that helping people is a weakness, rather it is a strength. And as to the questions about doing things for others for free, the answer is simple. It is because of the kindness others have done for me that I do the same for those in need.
Me at age 19, only a few months before we began hitch hiking back to Oregon
When I was 19 years old, I spent a few months with my birth mother living on the streets. We had some bad luck and ended up homeless. We both lost our jobs in Portland, Oregon, and were unable to pay our rent, so we had to vacate with nowhere else to go. We tried to get help, but no one was willing, so we left Portland and headed to Grants Pass, a small city in Southern Oregon.
This is my birth mother Judith and her father, my beloved grandfather, Forrest Moak Jr.
We stayed for a while at my Grandfather’s house while we looked for work, but the economy was not good, so jobs were far and few. My grandfather was having some serious alcohol problems at that time, fighting with his wife on a daily basis. We decided we could not stay with Grandpa anymore. The constant bickering, and the alcoholism was just too much for us to deal with on top of trying to find ways to earn a living.
We left and went to stay for a while at the local Rescue Mission. We were given a place to sleep, and were given fresh meals each day as we continued looking for work. After finding a few temporary jobs, we decided to venture further South, so we went to Thousand Oaks, California in hopes of finding a better life.
During our stay in California, we spent a lot of time looking for jobs, living in alleys, eating from dumpsters behind some of the fast food restaurants. Things got really tough. My mother was able to get a job at McDonalds while I got a job in Burbank working for Hyenco, a security systems company. I worked at that job for a few weeks, and then I went to work for a store called East Wing, which was located at the Glendale Galleria on the East side of Glendale, Ca. I continued working there for nearly three months, and then that job ended.
I went back to Thousand Oaks where my mother was still working for McDonalds, but hit back luck again. Then my mother lost her job. We were back in the same predicament as before, no jobs, no money left, and living in an alley eating from dumpsters again. After a while of serious struggling, we decided to come back to Oregon in hopes of finding our way back into the world of success.
Although our downfalls started in Oregon, we knew our way around better there, and we knew more people there, so we started our journey back up North. We were able to scrounge up enough money, by pan handling, to pay for Grey Hound Bus Tickets to get us as far as Merced, California.
From there we began the hardest part of our journey. We spent nearly one week from that point on hitch hiking, getting rides from strangers, going a few miles here, a few miles there. Several kind people gave us short but helpful rides. Some gave us food and a bit of money to help. The first ride we got was from a man we met at a rest area just outside of Merced. He drove us up to Sacramento. From there we continued as we got numerous short distant rides all the way up to Dunsmuir, Ca.
Here is an example of the bus shelter we slept in
From there we walked approximately 8 miles up to Mt. Shasta City where it was bitterly cold as this was during the dead of Winter. We spent one night in an old shed-type school bus shelter there at Mt. Shasta. The snow was several feet deep. I thought my mother and I would freeze to death, but somehow we made it through the night. In the early morning we ventured back out, got to the Freeway, and started hitch hiking again.
Then we got a ride from a woman named Heather down from Shasta to a town called Weed, just a few miles North, and there we met a very kind Truck Driver who called herself Dream Weaver. Dream Weaver’s real name was Lori Ann Singleton, and she lived in Arkansas, she was running deliveries across the country. She helped us make the rest of our journey back to Oregon, using her C.B to contact fellow Truckers to arrange our final rides to Portland.
This wonderful Lady, out of the kindness of her heart, gave us enough money to keep us going for at least two months until we could get back on our feet and find a home. Now, as we were getting ready to move on with the next driver, I asked for Dream Weaver’s mailing address so I could eventually save enough money to pay her back for her kindness. She gave me the address and said to write her to let her know when we were financially stable, but not to send her any money. She said the best way to pay her back was to always remember her kindness and to do the same for others. She said, “Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them”. She also said with much emphasis, “Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind”.These statements from her have stuck in my mind for 27 years. Her words and her actions had such a great impact on my life in more ways than I know how to express.
That is among many reasons why I help others when I can. Helping others because someone helped me. It is my way of paying back a stranger for her kindness and generosity. It is something I will do as long as I live.
Now, just to be clear, Dream Weaver was only one of the people who helped mold me into the person I am today. There were many influential people in my life. And two of the most wonderful people I can mention in this regard were my adopted parents, Sayeng and Taylong. They taught me to be kind to everyone, and above all, they taught me to forgive and to love unconditionally. Without their guidance, where would I be today? Dream Weaver, Sayeng, and Taylong played the most positive roles in my life, and for that I will be forever grateful.
Caryl Dumaine Lamont ~Munson~
We thank Caryl Dumaine Lamont for sharing this beautiful true story with us
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Thank you for this sharing, Caryl. Its an inspiring and interesting story ……just love to read it.“Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them”.“Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind”….beautiful statements.Well it will be always in my mind and i sincerely hope to do whatever to help others too.Always be grateful to people and always remember other’s kindness .
Thank You Rinpoche, and Carl for sharing real life story .
From a buddhist perspective to helps others makes a lot of sense. The people that we meet in this life are not there due to a coincidence. There is always karma at play. or in play. Nothing is ever random, many beings have helped us knowingly and unknowingly, so it is wise for us to help anyone that we come across. Beautiful story Claire thank you so very much.
It is really assuring to know that there are a number of people in this world who are kind enough to support the needy.
The Dream Weaver not only gave the homeless duo a ride to to their destination, but also some money to ensure that they could stand on their own 2 feet for a while.
With this story there is really no denying that some kindness could drastically help someone.
I hope that this post will help teach the world on how to be kind and compassionate.
Thank you Caryl for sharing such an inspiring and personal story. It is amazing what true genuine kindness can do to a person. When we are at our lowest, and we cross path with someone who shows us what compassion really means, it certainly changes one’s life and leave a mark.
In this crazy materialistic world we live in today, to give without judgement and expectations is very rare, and when someone does that and we experience that, it sheds a light, gives hope and strength for us to carry on because it proves that goodness do exist… Buddhas and Dharma Protectors do exist. And perhaps they manifested through these kind beings that we meet along our journey. Yes it is definitely a reason for us to practice it too… to give back and pass on the light of kindness that has touched our lives. Thank you for sharing, it is a good reminder to reflect on those who have been kind to us and to share that same kindness to others.
The two person who has shown me what true kindness really means and looks like is my Guru Tsem Rinpoche and my partner and best friend Justin Ripley. And it’s because of them that is why I keep moving forward.
Love this powerful quote by Dream Weaver “Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind”.
Thank you for this sharing, Caryl. Often, people forget kindness, and instead use everything that has gone against them to hurt themselves, or others further. But your story, reminds me very much like His Eminence the 25th Tsem Rinpoche’s story, where despite all the circumstances that was against Rinpoche, the abuse and the extremely tough journey he had to endure, Rinpoche chooses to remember the good times, the kindness he had received, the lack of love he was given, to bring hope, joy, peace and love to thousands around the world today. It is inspiring, when people use kindness to inspire them to do so much more above and beyond themselves, for the good of others, and it is admirable that you have clung on to those powerful lines by the kind lady, to propel you to be the person you are today. For me, my strength and inspiration to go beyond myself, springs from the kindness and compassion I have been showered with by Tsem Rinpoche.
Carmen
Dear Carl,
I am very sorry to read the series of unfortunate events that you as a teenager and your mom had experienced. I am glad that both of you met with people who did what they can to help you. The motto of “Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them” seem very simple but when carried out, it is very impactful. What may seemed small or insignificant to us could save life for others. This is a very uplifting story and I enjoy reading it very much because your story let me know that whatever help that I offer could change the course of another person for the better.
Thank You Rinpoche, and Carl for this blogpost. May more people be inspired to do what they can to help others.
Humbly,
Stella Cheang
This is a beautiful story about kindness from one human being to another. If someone asks me what is the most important thing in life, I’d say it is kindness (or compassion). For Buddhists, the meaning of life is happiness (i.e.true/lasting happiness) but what is the method to achieve true happiness? It is kindness.
Thank you Caryl for this heart warming story, I fully agree with what the Dream Weaver has said we need to paid the lines of others who been kind to us and also help others who in need of our help if everyone in world can really practice this principal then the world will have less conflict but unfortunately not everyone is practicing this principal anyway we should set the example to do more so that hopefully will inspiring others to do so.
Thank you for sharing this inspiring story. I love it and keep it in my mind.
**she said the best way to pay her back was to always remember her kindness and to do the same for others
**She said, “Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them”.
-**She also said with much emphasis, “Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind”.
Just saying thank you will not enough to repay the kindness. It was very powerful and inspiration for me to do more and more help and kindness to others.
This a very inspiring story, it is true, what that lady told him. Compassion is very good to have and experience. But when somebody is nice to you, you return the favour to them by learning something from them and absorbing some compassion to be more compassionate yourself. Because if we all abuse the compassionate people and take advantage of their compassion, then they will start to be less and less compassionate people. Until there is no more compassion in them. Then there will be no more compassion in the world, how sad that will be.
I am going to take back from this story and try to help anybody I can when I can. It is a good story and thank you for sharing it Rinpoche, I will learn from it and see how compassion can really change somebody and how they live to make this world a better place for all of us.
“I asked for Dream Weaver’s mailing address so I could eventually save enough money to pay her back for her kindness. She gave me the address and said to write her to let her know when we were financially stable, but not to send her any money. She said the best way to pay her back was to always remember her kindness and to do the same for others. She said, ‘Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them”. She also said with much emphasis, ‘Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind”.
Thank you for sharing such heartwarming story. It is working just like an engine to keep me doing good deeds and helping all sentient being who in needs.
Thank you Caryl for sharing your inspiring and touching story of why you choose to be kind and not want anything in return. I believe that it is kindness and compassion that create heaven on earth. An act of kindness may look simple and insignificant for others, but for the recipient, it is a pivotal moment in their life.
What you wrote below is very powerful and moving:
“She said the best way to pay her back was to always remember her kindness and to do the same for others. She said, “Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them”. She also said with much emphasis, “Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind”.”
Dream Weaver is such a beautiful person. Her kindness and sincerity in helping others is so powerful that she influenced you in a positive way and made you who you are today. I rejoice in your gratitude and in paying forward.
The story reminded me about Rinpoche’s childhood and when Rinpoche run away from home, crossing the country from New Jersey to LA. It was real tough for Rinpoche at that time but Rinpoche didn’t give up. When Rinpoche was in Gaden Monastery, Rinpoche was extremely poor but whatever Rinpoche had Rinpoche shared to the poor people in the village, even feeding the dogs and birds. Hence we have Kechara Soup Kitchen today that benefited thousands of needy in Malaysia.
Thank you Caryl Dumaine Lamont for sharing your life story with us. We must always grateful and remember other’s kindness. That’s what we added into the value of our lives.
Thank you Caryl for sharing such a heartwarming story with us. So sorry to know that you had a really tough life back then but fortunately you made it through. I must say that most of the people you’ve bumped into were pretty kind and genuine in helping you and your mother.
Lori was indeed a very kind woman, I love what she said: “When you see someone in need, do whatever you can to help them.” Most of us have our ups and downs in life, and I mean those major ones where you just don’t have money to spend. It’s very tough but the fact that you’ve made it through, it really means a lot.
Thank you for such an inspiring story, having gratitude and a kind heart is very important.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story which is a lesson in being kind and never be afraid of being called weakness in kindness but rather the strength to have faith in kindness.
A very inspirational story.
Dear Caryl Dumaine Lamont,
Such a heart warming story. We often find many excuses to helps a person, and, we forget where we are today, was from the helps of many peoples and most of the time we forget their names, or even not known of who they are. To repay these person kindness is to helps people who are in need. We do not need many excuses, reasons to helps the peoples. Thank you for this inspire story of yours. I keep this in mind.
Best wishes,
Freon
Thank you so much Rinpoche.
It was the excellent inspiration for me to do the same. It rose my spirit to be kind. How touching it is. Lovely story Rinpoche _()_
“The kindest person is one who has no trace of malice in his soul!” When our sense of belonging extends to all living beings, we are most touched by their joy and sufferings. This is the most important notion of “Universal Responsibility” from H.H. The Dalai Lama whom I have heard mentioned. Many a time, I have been told of similar stories like yours happening, and it has been shown in cases of reality, that people who have had such a happy events in the past, are more inclined to come to the assistance of strangers to help them out, like in your story. Generating and expressing kindness quickly dispels sufferings and replaces it with lasting happy fulfilment. In turn, the gradual actualization of geniune happiness allows kindness to develop as the reflection of inner Joy! Thank you Caryl Dumaine for the sharing of your wonderful experiences!
Dearest Rinpoche
Thank you for this heartwarming story. It reminds me the initial reason as to why I am passionate about helping others. I wanted to be like Dream Weaver (I assumed the truck driver was Indian from the name) who help those who deserve it like Mr. Caryl Dumaine. I am glad he is alright now and I am happy that he contributes to the Rinpoche’s blog. It is just proof how Rinpoche has given positive influence to people like Mr. Dumaine.
Best wishes
Valentina
Thank you for sharing .We never know that our reaction may impact other for a whole life,if a good virtue to leave behind , we can generate more loving and kindness society . Thank you for the statement and it did remind me always be kindness to other .
Thank you for sharing , life is difficult, everyone need help , so we can make the first move to help, to get thing better, people see , people do , make this help continues , the world only can getting better.
Dear Caryl Dumaine Lamont,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about the difficult time in your life, but like what you said, these experiences and people mold you into the kind person you are today.
Despite the hardship, what you remember was the kindness of all these people, expressing your gratitude towards them for their help, and in turn, you help others! It uplifts our spirits and is a reminder of the virtue of kindness, and for us to not take things for granted.
We all have something to give: it could be material, a smile, and giving someone a ride. The kindness and generosity of the people you have met was true giving from their sincere desire to help others. Each kindness changes the world, although the person who did the act may not realise how big a difference he/she made in someone’s life.
Being kind is often dismissed as weakness because we live in a competitive environment that emphasises winning at any cost. Due to lack of equanimity, there is the misconception that we should not be kind to ‘strangers’. We just need to look around, there are so many things around us that show us the kindness of strangers: the clothes we are wearing, the building we live in, the car we drive in, the roads we drive on. Of course we can say they are being paid to do their job, but we did benefit from their efforts/ work. Many of our friends started off as ‘strangers’ too 🙂
Like what Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” Any act of kindness makes the world a better place.
This is such a beautiful and uplifting story though having much unpleasant events, it gives us hope that things will change for the better as long as we keep moving forward. The kindest person is one who ask for no return, who help genuinely just because someone is in need. Being able to help seems to be better than being on the receiving end, where in actual fact, both are blessed to be given a chance to help or to experience life positively.
An amazing journey – inspirational, may the illumination of your heart spread far and wide. Blessings.
Thank you Caryl Dumaine Lamont for sharing your real life experience with us. I have learnt a lot from this posting especially when you delivered your message about helping people and being kind to others are indeed the strength that we need to move on with our human life meaningfully. Along the way during your hitch hiking, there were kind hearted people that gave us a powerful teaching about the actual meaning of being compassionate and helpful to others without expecting any return. Life is not about how much we have gained but how sincere we are when helping others.
With folded hands,
kin hoe
Thank you Caryl Dumaine Lamont for sharing this wonderful story with us. From your story, I can see that most of the people that you met on the hitch hiking journey are very kind and very helpful. There is a saying in Chinese that says the true nature of a human being is kindness.
The wonderful lady that says: ‘Be the one who makes a difference in the world, be kind” and “Whenever you see someone in need, do what you can to help them” is truly a real life bodhisattva. She understand that being kind and compassionate towards the people around us is very important and the world needs more people like her. This story is a perfect example of how a kind and compassionate gesture can go a long way.