Question asked by Seth Chong
Dear Pastors,
My parents are devout Christians. My father is a pastor, and my mother a retired teacher. In a sense she is more than that, as she has helped so many people in her life. She would help her students with poor backgrounds to sign up for governmental help, the sick with medical help from the government, does a lot of work which the illiterate wouldn't know to assist them and their lives. Whenever there is someone in need where her efforts can come in, she would. She isn't the emotionally sensitive type, but many people do often tell me many owe her, and yet she does it completely as if it's part of her – almost as though if she doesn't do it she'll wither away. She sacrifices her time and effort a lot for others.
My question is: she finds peace in Christianity. And I remember Rinpoche mentioned that when someone is passing away, the last breath is important. Should I, or should I not attempt to share the Dharma with her? It's an in the moment thought… but I wonder if introducing anything to her would confuse her instead of allowing her to have a peace of mind.
She is most of the times the paranoid type – in a motherly way. She would make sure that the house is properly locked, everything is organized and arranged properly for safety, etc. She is constantly sharing about other people's pains with others, in attempt to share. Often the news are devastating, from people who she meets, read about, or helped. Most of her topics are what people commonly view as to be avoided, yet she talks about them like it's daily life. I'm concerned that she wouldn't be as peaceful when death comes near, but at the same time she's done a lot of good. And she truly finds peace in Christianity. So I wonder if I should consider to even show her Buddhism…
Thank you very much.
Dear Seth Chong,
I can feel that you love your mother very much. I also understand your wanting to share Buddhist Dharma with her as you are concerned about her future life. But at the same time, you know that she finds peace in Christianity and you are proud of her because of her care and sacrifices for others. I think you have a wonderful mother. She is a kind person who practises charity. According to Buddhist masters, charity is not sectarian. The love of one human being for another does not belong to any religion. Rejoice that your mother has found happiness in Christianity. As a son, show filial piety by being kind and loving and help her in any way you can to make her comfortable and happy. Dedicate your merits to her for her long life. If you’re worried about her state of mind at the time of death, read up on how one should act towards the dying. Make sure she has a peaceful state of mind, but in order to do that, you yourself must have a peaceful state of mind. I hope I have answered your question.