Question asked by s_g
Dear Pastors, Please can you share some practical tips for cultivating skillful speech? Oftentimes I say something without thinking much and the reaction i get baffles me. I know what someone else says is a reflection of their state of mind as much as my speech is of my mind. So, I'd like to develop better speaking skills. Please advise.
Dear s_g,
Developing skillful or mindful speech is important in order to avoid misunderstanding and conflict in our relationships with people. It is true that our speech is the reflection of our state of mind. Therefore, it is necessary to develop virtuous states of mind endowed with qualities like humility, patience, kindness and compassion and abandon non-virtues such as arrogance, impatience, jealousy, anger, hatred and so on. When we practise mindfulness in our speech, what we have is peace, harmony and happiness. To avoid suffering and causing suffering to others, we must not say unkind things out of anger or with the intention to “punish” the other person. When we speak, we must not be arrogant and self-centred. We must not criticise or blame others for our failures or suffering. Always express our gratitude when others show kindness to us. Always be kind, listen to people with patience and use kind words to bring peace and happiness to others. When we practise with mindfulness, this skill of communicating with mindful speech will become a good habit.