Question asked by Kathy
What is the buddhist reply for overcoming fear. I have always been a very fearful person since a kid. I used to hide behind my mum's skirt due to a combination of fear and shyness. Obviously this has carried onto my adult life and I dislike it very much. It has caused much grief in my life. I know you will probably say it is due to ignorance and me not knowing the fear is hypothetical etc…but how can I overcome this horrible disease? Actually it is likely that other factors like laziness and more laziness has led to grief too but fear is one of the top ones up there. Do advise.
Dear Kathy,
The fear you described sounds more like timidity or shyness. This is probably due to self-consciousness and lack of confidence. There are many people like that. Self-consciousness arises from one’s ego, from fear of what others might think of one. Therefore, learn to be less self-conscious, and more assertive and confident. One way is to focus more on others instead of on yourself. In other words, abandon self-cherishing and concentrate more on the happiness of others. Learn and practise the Dharma well and you will see the change in yourself. Here is a quote from H.E. Tsem Rinpoche which might be of help: “We all have fears that make us avoid, hide or sometimes just not do anything. Responsibilities are difficult. But doing nothing and achieving nothing out of fear is a much heavier burden. Failure is frightening. But we are already in the state of fright now by not doing anything, so what is there to lose? Much heavier to be irresponsible than responsible. Much better try and fail because in trying we already won. One is a open ‘killer’ and one is a silent ‘killer’ of our peace of mind. But everyone is different. Trying brings long term peace. Responsibilities means we can achieve something for others and that is worth it”. ~ Tsem Rinpoche