Question asked by Dave
Hello,
I want to ask a question related to a life situation.
I live with both my parents and a younger brother. I started to practice the Dharma including chastity, mantra recitations and meditation at night. Since around that time my younger brother which has some esteem and obsessive problems started to act somewhat hostile against me, if I let him alone he let me alone but if I exchange some words with me he answer in a dry way not wanting to talk. It seems almost as he is envious or even some hate feeling. I want to have the best relationship possible with him because we live in the same house but he seems to think that when I speak to him I'm attacking him or something. He doesn't get out much of his bedroom, very reclusive. Is this an obstacle as Buddhism says? It's very depressing. Thank you
Dear Dave,
Thank you for your question. I am sorry to read that you are going through this situation. In regards to Buddhist practice an obstacle can be anything that hinders you from spiritual practice and spiritual evolution. This can take the form of a lack of material resources needed to live, problems with our health, our relationships with others, and any number of other situations in life that stop us from progressing spiritually.
In regards to your brother, yes, you can call the situation an obstacle because it creates an environment which is not pleasant. This can cause disturbances in your mind because you are worried about the situation. Depending on the age of your brother and what he himself is going through, this may just be a part of his journey growing up. At certain periods in our lives we allow our emotions to cloud how we deal with others.
From your side there are two things which you can do. You continue being the loving big brother, talking and acting nicely. Your brother will realise how he has been acting towards you. In Buddhism, it is said that the best way to show others how beneficial the Dharma is, is by transforming our own minds and actions to become better. We let our actions and words show a beneficial transformation in ourselves. This will overflow to those around us, who will realise we have changed for the better, and that way our relationships with them will get better.
At the same time, you can engage in the practice of Dorje Shugden who is a Dharma protector that helps us remove obstacles in our lives. I have personal experience of his help in dealing with disharmony within the family. You can also recite prayers to and the mantra of Green Tara, who is very well-known to help create harmony within relationships between people.
The enlightened beings can and do help us, and their harmonising energies are increased when we ourselves remember to have a good motivation, think and act in positive, constructive ways and try our best to create harmony through our own actions. I hope this answers your questions.
Thank you