Question asked by David
Hello, Pastors and monks of Kechara. Good morning.
I have been practicing Buddhism for about 10 years. I try to cultivate Bodhicitta, I try to put myself in other people's shoes to understand them better. But sometimes my patience fails me. I see so many evil people in the world, who kill other people, who steal things, who are cruel to animals and other people. There are adults who are like parasites, always sucking. They make others sick, and some have huge egos, and they think they are right to act like this, without worrying about causing suffering to others. Whenever I go to practice, I cannot have compassion for these people, because many of them are hypocrites, complacent, in good health to work, but they are lazy and prefer to extort people who are more fragile. So, when I go to practice, I do not want anything good to happen to these people. So I feel like a hypocrite, because I feel unworthy of practicing Dharma because my compassion is so limited. Sometimes I avoid praying for someone’s sake when I think that person doesn’t deserve it. What advice can you give me about this?
Olá Pastores e monges de Kechara. Bom dia.
Sou um praticante do Budismo há uns 10 anos. Tento cultivar a Bodhicitta, tento me colocar no lugar das pessoas para compreendê-las melhor. Mas às vezes minha paciência falha . Vejo tantas pessoas malignas no mundo, que matam outras pessoas, que roubam coisas , que são cruéis com os animais e com outras pessoas. Há pessoas adultas que são como parasitas, sempre sugando. Elas adoecem os outros, e algumas têm um ego enorme, e acham que estão certas por agirem assim, sem se preocuparem em estar causando sogrimentos para os outros. Sempre que vou fazer minhas práticas, não consigo ter compaixão por essas pessoas, porque muitas delas são hipócritas, acomodadas, têm boa saúde para trabalhar, mas são preguiçosas e preferem extorquir pessoas que são mais frágeis. Então, quando vou praticar, não tenho vontade que algo de bom aconteça com essas pessoas. Então, sinto-me hipócrita, porque sinto-me indigno de praticar o Dharma porque minha compaixão é muito limitada. Às vezes evito fazer preces pelo bem de alguém quando julgo que essa pessoa não merece. Que conselhos você pode me dar sobre isso?
I have been practicing Buddhism for about 10 years. I try to cultivate Bodhicitta, I try to put myself in other people's shoes to understand them better. But sometimes my patience fails me. I see so many evil people in the world, who kill other people, who steal things, who are cruel to animals and other people. There are adults who are like parasites, always sucking. They make others sick, and some have huge egos, and they think they are right to act like this, without worrying about causing suffering to others. Whenever I go to practice, I cannot have compassion for these people, because many of them are hypocrites, complacent, in good health to work, but they are lazy and prefer to extort people who are weaker. So, when I go to practice, I do not want anything good to happen to these people. So, I feel like a hypocrite, because I feel unworthy of practicing the Dharma because my compassion is very limited. Sometimes I avoid praying for someone's well-being when I think they don't deserve it. What advice can you give me about this?
Dear David,
Thank you for your question. First, Bodhicitta itself cannot only be applied to some individuals and not others, because that is just compassion and loving-kindness, not Bodhicitta.
When dealing with or thinking about difficult people, before we can generate compassion towards them, we have to do two things. The first is to reduce our negative feelings towards them. This is done through the practice of developing Equanimity between Persons.
The Lamrim teachings are excellent in teaching you how to do this. Equanimity is the basis on which Bodhicitta is built, so it’s very important. You can find these teachings in the Higher Scope teachings of the Lamrim texts, that teach about Bodhicitta.
Another thing that you can do, is before thinking about being compassionate towards them, put yourself in their shoes, try to understand that person whom you find negative. What you find will surprise you. They are the way they are due to their own life experiences, what was done to them, what they felt, how others reacted to them, etc. And this is all due to karma. Whether we suffer in the usual sense of being hurt, is due to karma. But those people are also suffering from their delusions, and this is due to karma and all it is doing is creating more karma for them to suffer in the future.
The Lamrim teachings explan this very well and can be used in meditation. I would highly recommend studying the Lamrim teachings. If you have already done so previously, revisit the teachings again. It will help you a lot in this regard.
I hope this helps.