Question asked by Susan
Please help me someone. I have a 21 year old daughter who is so naughty that she scolds and spits at me if things are not done to her way. I have been giving in to her for 5 years now and I dont know what to do. She hates everyone in the family. Recently I had a Tara puja done for her and I even chant mantras daily but to no avail.
Am I destined to be forever control by her ? Cant I change my bad karma ? Cant I have harmony in my family ?
If I had not come into buddhism I would have committed suicide long ago.












































































































Dear Susan,
At this time in her life, your daughter needs your understanding and love. Her behaviour shows that she is suffering. You have to make an effort to communicate with her in a compassionate manner. Only love and compassion can heal anger. When you listen deeply and speak with love, then conflict and anger will not arise. Continue to attend pujas and dedicate the merits to her. You also have to stop blaming your daughter for your suffering, your “bad karma” and the disharmony in your family. You are not the victim. As Buddhists, we must understand that all our suffering is created by ourselves alone. If you wish to help your daughter, you need to overcome your own anger and resentment. Heal yourself first, then you will be able to heal her. Replace your negative energy with the energy of compassion. If you have compassion in you, what others do or say will not make you angry or irritated.