Question asked by Q
My fiance is a very nice person but his mother is very difficult. I try to be friends with her and be loving but she tries to ignore me. She only loves her son and son wants us to live together, joint family eastern culture but how can we when she does not want to try and know me. She ignores and avoids me. I dont want to hurt my fiance i am willing but what can i do i sm having all these negative thoughts about out future. If he tries to ignore her i think it will harm us cuz that is a bad thing to do but i am helpess which way to go.
Dear Q,
Thank you for your question and I’m very sorry to hear about your current situation. I can understand that this is a very difficult time for you and your family. Such situations can create a very difficult environment, but you should always keep in mind that things can and do get better if we put effort into our relationships.
From a Buddhist perspective, we cannot always change the minds of the other person through talking with them, so we must let them come to their own conclusions based on their experience of how we are. In your case, you can try and show your fiance’s mother that you are a good person. That way you allow your fiance’s mother to come to her own conclusion of what sort of person you are. You do this by not reacting badly in negative situation. Instead you should always speak to her in kind ways, and show how you are by being kind and compassionate towards her. This will change her mind about you.
In addition to this, you can recite the mantra of Green Tara, which is OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA. Green Tara is extremely efficacious and ever ready to help us. Her practice is very powerful in helping us when in difficult relationships. Her enlightened energy can help to create harmonious relationships with others. However, even though Green Tara’s mantra is powerful, it will be even more powerful if we put effort into our relationships. In your case, this would be to always act kind and compassionately to your fiance’s mother. Through your effort and Green Tara’s enlightened energies, things will improve for you for the better. I hope this helps. Thank you.