Question asked by Eli Levine
Good evening Pastors,
Losar tashi delek! I hope you're all well and safe wherever you each may be in the world.
I suppose the simplest way for me to say this, is that I'm tired of feeling like a cork on the ocean, unable to steer its own fate. I'm hoping to get into a doctorate program in Public Policy and Administration. I've already applied to all seven of the schools and I'm set to start hearing back from them sometime next week through into March. I've already been rejected by one of the seven schools. I feel as though life is acting like a giant bureaucracy; like I'm being shunted this way and that without any control or say in the matter. I feel like I do my best to file the correct paperwork, filled out correctly, to the right place, and at the right time, and that my petitions get rejected for one reason or another. I'm currently working as an AmeriCorps VISTA (it's like the Peace Corps, but it stays in the US). I've always prayed and hoped to do the best that I can, freely admitting that I do not know what is the best. Yet I've come to a point where I think I'd rather do what I want to do. I get that it was my actions which ultimately landed me in these sub-optimal positions throughout eons of past lifetimes. But I would LOVE to be able to get into a great school for Public Policy and Administration, have CHOICES about what I end up doing and not doing, and ultimately, lead the best possible life I can for myself and all other living beings on this planet and beyond. I was reading Atisha's "Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment", and one of the prerequisites for this path is to be in a place where one can be at peace and be happy and positively energized within the reason of temperament. I also have hung up a large picture of Medicine Buddha as the backdrop to my alter, which also includes Lama Tsongkhapa, Dorje Shugden, Zambala, a bright metal stupa with mantras inside, and an incense cone placed in front of the Buddhas. I'm not sure what else I can do other than maintain an abiding presence while I wait. Is there anything else I can do to improve my condition and be able to take control of my life for a change in a more noticeable manner?
I hope you all have a wonderful year of the Fire Monkey. Thank you.
Dear Eli Levine,
I would like to suggest that you engage in your daily practices strongly. You should engage in the practice of Lama Tsongkhapa’s Guru Yoga strongly. This will be very helpful to steel your mind to persevere in the face of obstacles. You are right, these obstacles or the situations we are placed in are created by our karma. If we do not have the strength to improve our conditions and battle through the difficulties, we allow this negative karma to win. If we let it, then we usually end up accumulating more negative karma.
You should couple this with the practice of Dorje Shugden, which will help alleviate any obstacles and create conducive conditions. The main point here is to engage in these practices every day and you will definitely see improvements in your mind.
If possible and you have time, perhaps you can also engage in a Dorje Shugden retreat. The instructions and retreat prayers can be found here: https://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/buddhas-dharma/dorje-shugden-retreat-a-powerful-practice-to-fulfill-wishes.html
If you have the time you should also ready and study the Lamrim text Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand. Understanding the text will go a long way to gain control over your life situation.