懂得感恩会使我们变得更快乐

2023年2月27日 | 浏览量: 477

当我们对表现谢意感到害怕,就代表我们不想透露别人为我们做的事,于是我们就不必报答他们或记住那些恩惠。或许也是因为我们不想报答,所以我们才不让别人知道。由于我们不诚实面对自己和别人,最后我们将变得很愤怒和苦涩。如果我们一直都期待别人能给自己什么而不付出什么的话,我们一定不会觉得好受。我们一定要在付出后,再来期待得到;在得到后,也不忘付出。我们必须让这两者得到平衡,而平衡就是关键。

例子:一开始,弟子从上师身上得到很多的教义、关爱、劝告、物质上的享受及关怀等。而弟子则透过转变、克服恐惧、帮助他人、少做坏事多做能够利益自己及社会的事等以报答上师的恩惠。因此当一个弟子或任何一个人懂得表达感恩之情时,基本上那是一个帮助我们克服自我为中心心态的训练。感恩在我们的心中能起这样的效果。上师与弟子之间的关系只是一个例子,它还适用于很多其他的关系里。感恩并不是负面地提醒你拿了某些东西,而是一个存在心中有待萌芽的品德。它能把我们的心提升到另一个更高的层次,让我们拥有更高尚的思维和行为。

当我们向他人表达谢意且做回报时,别人也就会感到高兴,因为我们记得他们的恩惠。他们也会因此而尊敬你。他们对你的敬意会让你为自己而感到高兴,那么你也就不会促使负面情绪的升起进而做出伤害他人的事。当你表达你的感激之心时,你并没有什么好隐藏、躲避或觉得难受的。亏欠与感恩是两码事。亏欠就好像向银行贷款而必须承担偿还的责任;感恩则是你不畏惧地承认你需要帮忙也接受帮忙,然后也会再向别人伸出援手。这样的正面态度将有利于另一个有情众生。 

表达谢意是让你不必为所得到的东西感到愧疚,同时也很正面地让你处在“必须”做出回报的位置的最佳方法之一。我们之所以会自然而然地为别人付出,是因为我们内心已经升华到另一个拥有更高尚思想和行为的境界,而不是出于愧疚感而这么做。当你付出时你会感到很开心,那是因为我们的本性是乐于助人的。当我们的付出使别人得益,我们很自然地也会感到高兴。快乐的心能让我们变得更乐于助人,反之亦然。情况就持续下去。表达感激是承认别人在这一刻能比你做得更多,同时承认你需要关爱和帮助,以及表示你能以一颗开放的心来接受帮忙。它能对治妒忌心和傲慢,还有那些会让我们感到不快乐的负面心态。感恩的心也让我们知道,需要帮忙和关爱并不表示我们是恶劣的人,因为一旦我们的情况得到“改善”,我们也会向他人伸出援手。这是一个很好的人生态度。

表达感激是非常重要的,因为它不仅让我们修心,也让他人知道自己给予他人的恩惠,其实一直被他人铭记于心。这在我们的修心历程中扮演非常关键的角色。珍惜你所得到的关爱及帮助,是让你获得快乐的有力因素。 

培养感恩之心是一个很好的修练,尤其是对那些过着世俗生活的人,以及那些向往达到更高成就、慈悲、菩提心及智慧的修行品德之人。一切美好的事物都建立在那些获得适当且持续发挥的基础上, 而拥有感恩之心就是基础之一。

詹杜固仁波切

 

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构思: 詹杜固仁波切
技术: 廖君凌、贾斯汀李力、杨瑞强
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