Guest Contributor – Charmaine Phoon
Article submitted by Charmaine Phoon
[TO BE VOTED ON! The article or video with the most number of views by 21 April 2013 will win a Manjushri statue!]
Submitted article for “BLOG COMPETITION: Invite back a Manjushri statue!”
“How both Tsem Rinpoche blog & Dharma influence had turned my wayward ways around.”
Dear Tsem Rinpoche,
First off, I thank you for always being so giving, tolerant, patient & compassionate to everyone including all sentient beings. You have revealed so much knowledge, life lessons and Dharma teachings to me & others in the world through your blog and videos.
My childhood was brimmed with resentment, hurt and jealousy. As my dad’s always abroad for business trips, I’m often left with elder sis and mum. Sis’s the apple of my mum’s eyes, so she always got all the attention whereas for me, I was the wayward child. I remembered vividly as a 16 year old, I had everything and yet I wasn’t happy, and furthermore on a daily basis, I indulged in cigarettes and alcohol starting from Jolly Shandy to Beer to Vodka to Whiskey & to all the hard liquor u can find. But it was never satisfying; it was like a never ending spiralling down path for me. As years of experience with alcoholism, I could never get drunk, never high, just numbing. It made me sleep better.
Every drinking session ends at about 4-5am, by the time I got back home to sleep; I will reek of alcohol & cigarettes. I was actually using alcoholism and smoking as silent ways to end my life abruptly, in fact I used to have absurd thoughts that those who had sudden deaths must have been really lucky. (*shocks)
Furthermore, as my business grew, things worsened, I started meeting new people who loved the exact lifestyle I did too. So we would all go drink and make merry till wee hours.
However things changed around July 2012, I couldn’t sleep, and I would wake up with nightmarish dreams and in cold sweat. I was sleeping only 2 hours a day & to make matters worse, my best friend was admitted into hospital for kidney and liver complications for the month, reason being: she was following my exact lifestyle and I felt that I was the one who caused her to be admitted.
Then I started meeting up with Mark (From MBF) & he introduced me to TsemRinpoche blog and his teachings sometime in August 2012. I started watching Tsem Rinpoche’s intriguing videos on YouTube and reading up more about Dharma teachings and how to transform one’s body, mind and speech. & as I go more in depth, I got to know about Lama Tsongkhapa, he is the embodiment of wisdom, compassion and spirituality. I became less temperamental, calmer, having more awareness & started turning down people who would only want to drink and party. I’m able to sleep soundly now at night after daily Sadhana & my pet dog Fluffy would always lie next to me and listen to the mantras I’m reciting.
Recently in March 2013, Fluffy was severely ill, she’s down with kidney stones, pancreatitis, liver problem, infected lymph nodes etc. & was even suspected to be suffering from Leukaemia and vets were saying it would take a miracle for Fluffy to heal and be healthy again. I was devastated; I was going to lose my best friend of 8 years, I was emotionally crushed. Further which I told Jay Jae about Fluffy’s critical condition, & he immediately helped me to do a Medicine Buddha Puja for Fluffy. I sincerely thank all who prayed for Fluffy during her lengthy stay in hospital. Fluffy is now discharged & she is free of Leukaemia. Even vets told me it was an absolute miracle.
I no longer need to seek solace and refuge in mental habitual delusions, instead I have found a more beneficial way to live my life now & how to benefit others with what I have learnt & imply it into my daily life & conduct.
Long Life to My Guru Tsem Rinpoche
Yours Sincerely: Charmaine
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