Everything can be repaired
Breaking samaya to the guru is very serious setback for our spiritual practice, for the growth of our mind and in general our overall peace. As the days pass by it will seem like nothing is happening, but we will see our attachments grow, anger grows and our distance to the dharma grows. We will be happy to engage in deeds that have no ultimate meaning and justify it and feel comfortable. We will fall back to the ways of how we were before meeting the dharma and feel comfortable. We will scourge our teachers and practice and start engaging in more actions that accumulate negative karma. Karma exists independent of our belief in it. We start enjoying what is negative and all that we hold sacred is not seen as sacred because the negative karma grows stronger.
Being rude to the guru, speaking impolitely, showing unpleasant demeanor, challenging our guru with bad intent, ignoring our guru, tricking our guru, using our guru for financial or emotional gain, using all types of excuses to avoid and then finally breaking off are really going off track as spoken by the Pandit Ashvagosha in Gurupancasika text. As the guru has given you initiation, oral transmissions, countless hours of teachings, love, care and even financial help, we should remember this and regret our negative actions and have loyalty and be grateful. Being grateful is a human quality worth cultivating. No one in this world will be able to give you both secular and spiritual benefit but only the guru. Besides the guru, only some secular benefits will be derived but the question is will it be really beneficial? We can complain to friends or peers or family how we ‘suffered’ and of course they will agree because they do not know what you have done nor understand the full situation of what you have done or your laziness to practice. Getting support of the ignorant is like getting a blind person to agree a painting is beautiful with stunning colors. You can get their full support and company, but in the end, they will see your nature and mind and abandon you too. Support from people ignorant of what you have done will backfire in the future. Doing purification is highly important. If we have damaged the samaya (relationship) with our guru, we should first and foremost confess and stop the damaging actions. Then we should not hide our actions to look good and have face in front of our guru and other dharma students and friends. Why would you choose face over your guru and dharma and your attainments. Face vs attainments? Should there even be a versus? We should then engage in prostration retreats, long Vajrasattva retreats till we receive correct dreams indicating purification. Samaya Vajra pujas and practice is very important. After completing these 500k each, then one should take the empowerment of Yamantaka if possible and go into a long and distant (silent) retreat and take a vow of silence. Do not ask for financial support for any of these from anyone to cut one’s grasping. Yamantaka can purify the karmas that are so heavy they seem like they cannot be purified according to H.H. Kyabje Zong Rinpoche. It is important. Always keep our promises to our gurus at all costs. Because the advice given to us is for our benefit although we cannot see it now immediately.
We should restore our tantric commitments, purify them, confess them and be silent and do strong and serious Yamantaka practice. Perhaps we were allowed Yamantaka practice because our gurus knew we would break commitments and we would need it later. The guru works in mysterious ways.
If not able to get Yamantaka then we should do the practice of 35 Confessional Buddhas at least one million, Vajrasattva one million and Samaya Vajra one million. We should take a vow of silence from negative talks. Which means for the rest of our lives we never utter one negative word about others or any situation and only allowed to speak in positive manners. This trains our mind to be stable and calm. When our speech is rampantly negative, then it feeds the anger and delusions in our mind. We take vows to control certain negative actions to stop feeding the anger and delusions in our mind. Vows are not imprisonment but designed to stop feeding our delusions, anger and negativity. Also it is more pleasant to be around people who don’t lie and speak negatively always.
The amount of damage when we break our samaya with our loving guru is like burning thousands of collections of Kangyur texts and destroying the Bodhgaya stupa. Without the guru, there is no Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. We should serve, honor and propitiate the Guru always in mind by transformation and in body by humility. We should seek the blessings of our guru in our prayers daily as Naropa served Tilopa and Milarepa served Marpa and ‘Headless’ sisters served Krysnacarya.
Homage to my one guru who is the synthesis of all teachings of the Buddha presented to me. I scatter flower garlands on the feet of my guru and offer him my spiritual practice. I offer my life to my guru that no harm comes to him but it befalls me instead. May I in this and all lives never be separated from the sublime path of bodhicitta, renunciation and correct view of sunyata. I will never choose wrong advice, friends, peers, money, fame, name, wrong view, ego, hatred and laziness over my most kind guru who has tolerated me for so long. I choose my guru, Buddha, Dharma and Sangha always. I offer my crown to the feet of my guru always. May all beings with broken samaya, anger and wrong view gain peace, practice and purification. Don’t waste time ever contemplating how to repair damage with my guru, or should I or shouldn’t I. We should never procrastinate because everyday is a day wasted. Never think how embarrassing this would be because the very fact you are deciding to choose face over guru/spirituality tells you that you should conquer the need for face already. Overcome the need to look good as it does not benefit but distances you from more good things and your guru. In general it’s more beneficial to have good relationships with everyone. One should not cheat, lie, take advantage, throw tantrums from being discovered by anyone from one’s negative deeds. It is a more peaceful life when we don’t damage others and therefore we don’t have to deal with pain we have done to others and hide or pretend nothing has happened. Be honest and real with everyone. Nice speech and shiny words and seductive talk will work for a while but our actions cannot be hidden forever.
I remain steadfast to my guru and not my anger, delusions and ego. I remain loyal to my guru always and a ‘show’ of that is my practice of mind transformation as taught by Geshe Langri Tangpa daily. I will always be humble and make offerings to my guru as Dromtonpa to his guru Atisha. I offer my service to my guru always tirelessly because the works of my guru reaches many to benefit them who cannot find a physical guru. In this way I will progress higher in my practices and then I pray my guru will bless me to ascend in the rainbow body to Kechara Paradise where I will continue my practice till enlightenment and then return to benefit and not rest in the bliss of nirvana.
犯三昧耶戒对我们的修行、心灵的成长和整体的平和来说是一个非常严重的挫折。当犯三昧耶戒时， 随着日子一天天过去，似乎像什么也没发生过，但我们会看到我们的执著、愤怒、及和佛法的距离日益增长。我们将很乐意地进行不具有终极意义的事情，对进行这些事情进行辩解，并感到自在。我们将回落到未接触佛法前的我们，并感到自在。我们会评击我们的上师和法门，并开始参与积累更多恶业的行为。无论我们相信与否，因果报应独立于我们对它的信念。我们开始享受造恶业，我们之前视为神圣的， 现在已经不被视为神圣，因为我们的恶业变得更加强大。
顶礼我的上师— 佛陀所有教诲的合成所化现。我撒花环在我上师的脚上，并供养他我所有的修行。我一我的生命供养于我的上师，愿对他的任何伤害降临我。愿我从此以后不会脱离菩提心、出离心和空性正见。我永远不会违背我善良及容忍了我这么久的上师而选择错误的劝告、朋友、同事、金钱、名誉、声誉、错误的观点、自我、仇恨、和懒惰。我始终选择我的上师、佛、法、僧。恒常稽首顶礼至尊大恩师足前。愿犯三昧耶戒、愤怒和拥有邪见的众生获得安宁、修行和净化。不要浪费时间不断地盘算着该如何补缺与上师的三昧耶，或者应该或不应该，我们永远不应该拖延，因为每天都是在蹉跎岁月。千万不要觉得多么地尴尬，因为当你决定选择面子而不是上师或修行时，这明确地告诉你，你应该征服需要面子这回事。克服面子和保持声誉的需要，因为它不仅不能让你受益，也使你和对你有益的一切和上师的距离越来越远。在一般情况，与大家建立良好的关系比面子更重要。人们不应该欺骗、说谎、利用、以及被揭发后的消极行为。我们不伤害他人， 从而不需要面对对他人造成的伤害疼痛，也无须隐藏或假装什么都没发生过，这种生活更为宁静。我们应该诚实和以真实的一面面对他人。甜言蜜语、美丽的话语和诱人的谈吐在过了一段时间后将会被人发现。
我对我上师的依止坚定，而不是我的愤怒、颠倒妄想和自我。我忠于我的上师， 而这展现于我日常生活中实践格西朗日塘巴尊者所教导的心识转变。我将永远谦虚，并献供于我的上师， 犹如种敦巴依止他的上师阿底峡。我将我的殷勤不知疲倦地献给我的上师， 因为我的上师的佛法事业将利益众生，特别是对于未能遇到上师的人们。这样一来，我的修行会继续精进，我也祈愿我的上师会加持我以虹光成就往生克切拉天堂，在那而我会继续我的修行，直到证悟，然后归来利益众生。
For more interesting information:
- The Zong Rinpoche category on my blog
- Brief Commentary on 50 Verses of Guru Devotion
- Complete Commentary on 50 Verses of Guru Devotion
- Advice to a Yamantaka Initiate
- H.H. Kyabje Zong Rinpoche’s biography
- 35 Confessional Buddha
- Eight verses to happiness and acceptance
- Tisarana and Purification of Mind
- An offering of 100,000!!!
- Vajrasattva and Prostrations Practice
- For those who hold vows
- Why Visit Holy Pilgrimages?
- 28 Amazing Verses
- 84 Mahasiddhas
- The Wheel of Sharp Weapons
- Gratitude makes us happier
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